Hayward 1

Sebastian T. Hayward
Ms. Franklin
ENC 1101
16 July, 2015
Personal Growth in Racial Awareness
You cannot choose who or what you are born as. What you do with the gift of life
determines who your true identity is. The world we live in today is ever-changing and better
values and morals are being presented. Unfortunately, the ignorant masses havent lost their
hatred for others with a different skin color other than their own. Its nothing compared to how it
used to be, but theres still a lingering subtle dominance that white people have over black people
in todays society. We live in a world where people are judged and discriminated over things they
have no control over and it will continue to be this way unless knowledge and understanding is
shared among the human race.
Have you ever heard someone say Man, I wish I could re-live my life knowing what I
know now.? Because thats relevant to how I feel about a couple experiences Ive witnessed
growing up. As a young boy, you dont realize the enormity your words might have on someone.
You dont take things seriously or understand the reality of certain events. Looking back, I can
see how my young innocent mind didnt comprehend the condition of certain incidents. I just
went about my day like any carefree child would, unaware of the serious matter I watched first
hand. One of these events takes place on an Elementary Schools playground during recess.
There I was, standing shoulder to shoulder between students in my class against a chained fence
waiting for my name to be called. The sun was shining, the wind was refreshing, and the smell of
freshly cut grass created a welcoming atmosphere. Kick-ball was a childhood favorite and
anyone growing up in suburbia can remember playing this thrilling sport. As the team captains
carefully chose players to join their squad, I could begin to see who was unfavorable. As my
name was called, I walked to my assigned team and as I turned back around to face the fence, I

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noticed that there were only three African-American boys along with a few girls. During the time
I made no correlation from that to racism but interestingly enough, I remembered that moment to
this day. If I dig deeper, I can actually recall that common selection happening many times. My
peers never spoke about it, nor did they ever mention their reason for the choices they made. It
was just a quiet unfairness spoken through their favoritism. It was as if they were subconsciously
afraid of our dark-skinned classmates when in reality theyre just like us. It was moments like
these that changed my life forever. It brought upon the sudden realization that we are not equal.
To this day, I treat others with the kindness and respect that Id wish upon myself, no matter their
skin color. In reflection, I remember feeling puzzled once I realized the state of my peers
choices. I could feel the fear that was embedded in the minds of my classmates and I hate to
admit it but I felt a little frightened myself. My palms got sweaty, my throat tightened up, and I
refused to shut my eyes, not even to blink. It was something I wasnt used to. It was something
different, and a lot of people cant handle difference. Im hurt and also disappointed that this is
the world we live in. Im sick and tired of people saying thats just how it is or theres nothing
we can do about it because that is a damn lie. If I were to go back in time and re-live those
moments with the knowledge and understanding I have now, I wouldve been team captain and
picked those students that were socially isolated due to their skin color.
Ive spotted many incidents of abhorrence in my eighteen years of living but none of
them are as frustrating and gripping as this one. One of my best friends is black and man we go
way back. When we were in high school, there was a moment in time where his parents had to
move out of state for a little because their job required them to do so. In the mean time, my
friend stayed at the house and my parents cared for him. One night as I was walking home from a
party, I noticed silhouettes of two figures standing along the side of my house. Looking to the
right I could see that there were no cars in my driveway. It seemed to me that they were peering

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in through the window. My initial thought was that they were trying to rob my home so I had 911
already dialed just in case I had to call them. The grass rustled beneath my feet as I walked up to
them and they soon turned around once they heard my footsteps. The light outside shined on
their faces and I could see that these were your typical southern cowboys. These were the type of
people to hang a confederate flag in their garage and drive trucks through piles of mud. One of
them, obviously intoxicated, asks, You know theres a black guy in your house right? This
question was rather perplexing to me. Why and how did they even know this and why are they
even concerned? I explain to them that hes my friend and that Im allowing him to stay a couple
nights. There was a car jacking down the street the other day and the suspect is black. He
replied. I had to courteously let him know that hes just being illogical and that he needs to leave
my property immediately. At this point, I was beyond livid. He responded with threats and how
his father is a marine and whatnot. They end up stumbling away after a few more minutes of
rambling nonsense. As a white American, I am genuinely embarrassed and ashamed when I see
things like that. At the same time Im glad that Im not as ignorant and misguided as those two
were. Im fond of my friend and I care about him because hes always been there for me. Thats
why it breaks my heart knowing he lives everyday of his life under these circumstances. This
moment made it crystal clear to me that there isnt a balance of equal privilege between white
people and black citizens in America. As a white male I can easily say that my life is better than
most. I dont have to worry about not getting a job because of the color of my skin. I dont have
to deal with white people that act dominant and superior. I dont have to watch women hold their
purses tightly as I walk past them. Its truly unfair how race is such a determining factor in
todays day and age. From this experience, I learned to raise my children better than those two
were brought up. My kids will know respect and value good ethics and morals. I will embed it in

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their minds that race doesnt have a reflection on the individual. In the past decade there have
been many conflicts within race. Trayvon Martin, Michael brown, Jordan Davis, Kendrick
Johnson, the list goes on. And when I put my friend Brandon in their shoes, given the possibility
that he couldve been any one of them, it terrifies me. If he were to ever fall victim, I would
never be able to cope with the agony and it would haunt me for the rest of my life. The brutality
and excessive use of police force against innocent citizens, and the publicity created by it was
first used against non-white communities. Even though these actions arent classified as having
justice, the outrageous acts had little to no affect on white people. They took it as being protected
and a form of comfort ability because the image of a black person behind bars is regarded as
justice. Putting it into this perspective Im able to see the bigger picture and quite frankly, I
wouldnt hang this one up on my wall, but keeping it secret and hiding it would be much worse.
There is a common dishonest belief between white America that they do not carry dominant
viewpoints or admit that they have an advantage in day-to-day life compared to other races. This
is one of the reasons of how this unjust dominance has made itself relatively invisible. I guess it
goes along with the saying ignorance is bliss. As a white person myself, the first step to change
is to admit to this unjust privilege. White superiority is based upon actions and beliefs. It doesnt
have to be demonstrated through activity. In fact, most of it is all just conscious or subconscious
thoughts and ideas of dominance and thats the major error for the ignorant masses. Typically,
when a white person shows bad behavior or gets in trouble with the law, he or she isnt regarded
as a criminal or at least it doesnt have a reflection on people with white skin as a whole. On the
other hand, black people who perform criminal acts are taken seriously and add to the stereotype
to their entire race. They arent afforded to that kind of freedom. If a white man and a black man
both took part in a shooting, the white man would be labeled as having mental issues while the

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black man would be considered an unlawful villain. Not only that, but it is rare to see African
Americans placed in high political or ranked positions. Sadly, it is normally white Americans that
are seated at high ranks in a given hierarchy, such as the work force. It is our duty to address
such issues and expand our horizons. I have to talk about this with my friend like society has to
discuss this amongst each other. Its a sticky situation but theres no better remedy than
comprehension and kindness. Skin color isnt something to fear or detest, its something to
appreciate. Its something to diversify us as a species. Just imagine, how bland would life be if
we were accustomed to one race or one culture? Culture influences and creates our variety of
music, cuisines, religion, clothing, language, marriage, our morals, ethics, values, ways in which
we greet others, and method in which to interact with the world on a daily basis. The United
States is one of the most culturally diverse countries in the world, and thats what makes our
country so remarkable. America is often described as a melting pot due to the fact that different
cultures have added their own special flavors. In my opinion these flavors mix perfectly.