Professional Documents
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1.
Note that better is, itself, an unspecific word as used here. How
is the thesis better? What words would describe the
improvement to the thesis more precisely? How would using
that word change the impact of the sentence?
2. Use interesting language. One of the benefits of precise
language is that it is often interesting language. Good is a
common, dull word. Heart-wrenching, while a bit over the top,
is a much more interesting, expressive word. Such language
can capture a reader's attention. Just don't overdo it.
3. Use action verbs. Action is more interesting than mere
existence. But students often have trouble making something
happen in a thesis, since a thesis typically states a truth
instead of describing an action. Fortunately, you can apply
several strategies to rewrite your thesis in active voice.
Consider, for example, this draft thesis:
This book is an example of tragic literature.
The revised thesis below tells us not what the book is, but what
it does:
The book conveys the sensation of grief through its tragic
imagery.
With the action verb conveys, the revision indicates how the
tragedy affects the audience. As a result, it is a richer, more
compelling thesis than the original. Moreover, a paper that
begins with such a thesis is likely to have a compelling
conclusion as well.