Tension means you want to be something else which you are not.

Osho
Only those persons who are capable of being alone are capable of love, of sharin
g, of going into the deepest core of the other person - without possessing the o
ther, without becoming dependent on the other, without reducing the other to a t
hing, and without becoming addicted to the other.
They allow the other absolute freedom, because they know that if the other leave
s, they will be as happy as they are now. Their happiness cannot be taken by the
other, because it is not given by the other.
Osho