Running head: CYBER BULLYING HURTS THE BULLY TOO

Cyber bullying Hurts the Bully Too

Melinda Montes
University of St. Thomas

Running head: CYBER BULLYING HURTS THE BULLY TOO

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Cyberbullying Hurts the Bully Too

Words can cut like a knife, and they can leave deeper scars than any physical wound.
The rise in cyberbullying cases and cyberbullying related suicides is a terrifying reality. Whats
worse is these cases have many victims feeling the repercussions. Naturally the victims, their
families, and friends are all dealing with the effects, but most people often overlook the person
who is probably dealing with the most consequences. The bully. Cyberbullies dont always get
much sympathy from the world and rightfully so. However, everyone knows in order to get to
the root of the problem, you must go to the main source. The bully is the main source. The
bullies are not only usually dealing with their own emotional turmoil, but they have a host of
other problems they will have to deal with when all is said and done. It is important they dont
get forgotten in the list of victims, because many times they will be the ones suffering long after
the victim has moved on.
When one pictures a cyberbully, one usually pictures someone hiding behind a computer.
The keyword is hiding. There is a reason cyberbullying has seen such a dramatic increase in
recent years. The computer is the perfect tool for anonymous harassment and torture. Many
studies have suggested teenagers are not developing empathy skills as they once were.
Psychiatrist Gary Small says, The digital world has rewired teen brains and made them less able
to recognize and share feelings of happiness, sadness or anger. (Oldham & Willen, 2011, p. 1)
Back in the day a bully had to face their victim and see the victims reaction. They had to see the
pain they were causing this person. Today, cyber bullies never have to deal with that reality, so
they are becoming even more desensitized to other peoples emotions and pain. The more cyber
bullies engage in this behavior, the harder it is going to be for them later in life to develop those
important social skills. They are setting themselves up to lead an even more miserable adult life.

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Their future careers, spouses, and families will all continue to suffer at the hands of the
aggressor. Traditional bullies had to lack empathic traits because, as stated earlier, they had to
deal with their victims reactions face to face. To be able to watch someone suffer or in pain and
not feel any sympathy is the work of someone who lacks empathy skills. Cyber bullying is an
entirely different beast. The anonymity of it is extremely dangerous. Butler, Campbell, Kift,
Slee, and Spears (2013) believe cyber bullies feel more powerful given their massive audience
and sense of anonymity. Cyber bullying is an often 24/7 process of torment. Cyber bullies can
constantly harass and torment their victim while never getting a single reaction from the victim.
The cyber bully then feels the need to multiply the cyber bullying in hopes of getting a reaction.
It is a vicious cycle and one that can only end badly.
In order to fully understand why cyber bullies do what they do, one must actually study
the cyber bullies. One doesnt have to be a student of counseling to know when someone abuses
another person, there are underlying causes and reasons for it. They are usually masking some
sort of pain and feel the need to lash out at others who are vulnerable. Butler et al. (2013) cited
studies that found involvement in cyber bullying was associated with a range of mental health
problems including anxiety, depression, and psychosomatic systems. Cyber bullies are also at
increased risk substance abuse. So cyber bullies are battling their own demons, and regardless of
the reason, they are targeting others and using their victims as a way to escape their own battles.
So if a cyber bullies lack empathy and are dealing with their own pain, we have to ask,
what can we do? It is important for parents and school personnel to take action while it is in
their power to. Education is key. Butler et al. (2013) provide several suggestions for prevention
and intervention such as updating school wide policies and codes of conduct to include the
dangers and consequences of cyber bullying. School climate is always an important factor when

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it comes to student behavior. Administration, faculty, and parents all must work together to
create a safe school environment where students feel comfortable reaching out whether they are
being cyber bullied, or they are the cyber bully. School psychologists and counselors play a
particular important role in educating students and staff alike. Teachers and students need to be
made aware of the warning signs of cyber bullying such as changes in attendance, anti social
behaviors, and visible social anxiety. The more knowledgeable teachers and students are, the
more likely they will be able to spot victims and bullies and report them to designated school
personnel. Counselors and teachers also need to make students aware of the consequences that
come with cyber bullying activity. If cyber bullies are fully aware of the ramifications they may
face, the less likely they are to engage in this type of behavior.
With the onslaught of social media sites being offered today, cyber bullying doesnt seem
to be an issue thats going away. In todays society, its something most students and staff will
have to deal with at some point in their lives. The more knowledge they are armed with, the
better. Cyber bullies are human beings too. They need support and encouragement as much as
the next student. If even one cyber bully can be helped, it could save a life.

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Reference Page
Butler, D., Campbell, M.A., Kift, S., Slee, P.T., & Spears, B. (2013). Do cyberbullies suffer
too? Cyberbullies perceptions of the harm they cause to others and to their own mental
health. School Psychology International, 34(6), 613-629.
Oldham, J., & Willen, L. (2011). Are texting, multitasking teens losing empathy skills? Some
differing views. (Ed.), The Hechinger Report (June 2011 ed.). Retrieved from
hechingered.org/are-texting-multitasking-teens-losing-empathy-skills-some-differing
views_4002/