Session 9

: Studying Published Texts to Write Leads

Teaching Point: Today I want to teach

you that just when writers are most
fired up to write-when they have just
written their lead-they force
themselves to pause. They review
what theyve written, and they revise
it. They revise the lead because by
doing so, they revise their entire
story. Sometimes they do this with
help from a pro.

Study Published Author Leads

Lead=beginning piece of writing, the

opening, it leads the reader into the
text.
Most important part of your story as
it invites your reader into your story!
How to write a good lead?
First, study published authors leads!

Past Student

She studied the lead to Lawrence Yeps short story,

Ribbons.
The sunlight swept over the broad grassy square, across the
street, and onto our living room rug. In that bright, warm
rectangle of light, I practiced my ballet. Ian, my little brother
giggled and dodged around me while I did exercises.
A car stopped outside, and Ian rushed to the window. Shes
here! Shes here! he shouted excitedly. Paw-paws here!
Paw-paw is the Chinese word for grandmother-for mothers
mother.

*She started with dialogue, with small actions, near the main
event.
*It hints at what will come later!

Students First Draft

It was a normal day in the life of Maya Young Winters
(me). I had had a loud noisy breakfast which
included two twin sisters screaming as my mother
brushed their hair, a dog howling for a piece of
bacon and my father, putting ketchup on toast like it
was a normal thing to do. Then Id left promptly 7:27
to catch my bus. Id laughed at Anna Lous bad
jokes, gotten through homeroom, first and second
period and lunch with my posse of friends: May,
Luna, and Ruby. Then around came sixth period.
Ms. Gulch was my science teacher and even her
name was terrible.

Studying Mentor Texts to

Create Students Second Lead

As you listen, make a list about what

you notice from Thirteen and a Half
by Rachel Vail that you can try when
you write a lead!

Turn and Talk

What did she do that you could try in

your own lead?

Discussion

Less dialogue
Introduces characters and shows
thoughts and personality of the
narrator
Describes the setting
Allows the reader to infer about the
setting.
Small action takes place
Creates a mood (funny)
Theme is introduced (flying)

Techniques for Crafting Leads

Sometimes stories begin not with a big action but

with a small action, which can be against the
backdrop of a setting, like when the narrator
climbs up the tall steps to Ashleys house
Some stories begin by conveying a mood, and
only afterward does the sequence of actions begin
Sometimes the time and place are revealed
slowly, bit by bit, as the character sees or moves
into the setting
Some stories foreshadow a central theme or idea
by including a telling image, piece of dialogue, or
action

What suggestions could we give our

past student?

It was a normal day in the life of Maya Young Winters

(me). I had had a loud noisy breakfast which included
two twin sisters screaming as my mother brushed their
hair, a dog howling for a piece of bacon and my father,
putting ketchup on toast like it was a normal thing to
do. Then Id left promptly 7:27 to catch my bus. Id
laughed at Anna Lous bad jokes, gotten through
homeroom, first and second period and lunch with my
posse of friends: May, Luna, and Ruby. Then around
came sixth period.
Ms. Gulch was my science teacher and even her name
was terrible.
***Turn and TALK!
***Class discussion

Second Draft of the Student Story

*She decided to start with more action.
Ruby has been my best friend since we were in
diapers, as my mom would say. She is the most
tender hearted person you could ever know, and
is scared of many things: spiders, disappointing
anyone in any way, shape or form, and Ms.
Gulch. Ms. Gulch was our science teacher.
Even her name was terrible.
***What is in bold was left from her original
lead.

How to Write Compelling Fiction

Revise the lead-and hence the entire

story (small action, mood, time and
place, foreshadow).

Something Else to Think About

Sometimes you realize that there are

a few details in your story that you
dont know much about and
researching needs to take place!
If this is the case, you need to
research the facts about the settings,
objects, etc
Sometimes research means
observational research!

How to Write Compelling Fiction

Research key facts to make the story

more believable.

Homework: Answer the following

in your notebooks

Decide what research you need to do

(online or observations?)
Do you need to look at more mentor
texts?
Look at the checklist and remind
yourself of your goals.
Then, try revising your lead! Make
changes to make it better. Remember
the first draft is rarely the best!