Dallas Kasad

Professor Fisher
ENG123, Intermediate Composition
11 October 2015
Week 6 Reflection Journal
Thesis
After reviewing what the Smart Thinking tutor had said about my thesis statement, I
decided to polish it a bit further, working on including why reform is needed and what I wanted
the audience to be concerned with. I like the new thesis because it hits the points a bit better yet
pulls it together as well.
Thesis for the 1st Draft:
Todays laws used to charge cybercrimes are too broad and in most cases the punishment
does not fit the crime. The Computer Fraud and Abuse Act was originally born to make
cybercrimes punishable, but has become a power-hungry piece of legislation responsible for
punishing average Americans with charges the top-notch cybercriminal would receive. The
need for reform through a Code-Based Theory of Interpretation is needed with reinforcement
of the reform proposal Aarons Law to stop the tyrannical snowball that is gaining speed in the
digital age.
Thesis for the 2nd Draft:
Todays laws used to charge cybercrimes are too broad and in most cases the punishment
does not fit the crime. The Computer Fraud and Abuse Act was originally born to make

cybercrimes punishable, but has become a power-hungry piece of legislation responsible for
punishing average Americans with charges the top-notch cybercriminal would receive. With
the threat of everyday people serving massive amounts of jail time, paying huge fines and losing
any chance at a normal life again, there is a need for reform. Through the Code-Based Theory
of Interpretation as proposed by Dr. Orin Kerr, with reinforcement of the reform Aarons Law
proposed after the death of Aaron Swartz, will stop the tyrannical snowball that is gaining speed
in the digital age.
Introduction
A problem I was encountering was that the first sentences started to sound like an afterschool special and werent much of a hook. Reading a few articles this week, including an
article calling Bernie Sanders Ayn Rands worst nightmare
(http://www.salon.com/2015/10/08/bernie_sanders_is_ayn_rands_worst_nightmare_hes_changin
g_how_we_view_socialism_and_exposing_free_market_parasites/#), I wanted a better
introduction to suck the reader in. So I picked a few issues people associate hackers with today
either from news reports or Hollywood. I then made the sentence to follow a little more blunt,
addressing the history of the Computer Fraud and Abuse Act while adding that it could later be
used as a means of imprisoning.
1st Draft:
In the Information age the digital threat is not Hackers trying to steal your identity, it is
the current laws trying to imprison it. The Computer Fraud and Abuse Act or CFAA is an
extremely broad set of laws made by a frantic government to make cyber-crimes punishable. The

downfall is that these laws can be used to imprison any individual who uses the internet, even if
it is just to update your Facebook status.
2nd Draft:
The threat of the Information age is not identity theft, hackers bringing down the
government or losing your bank account to some greedy Hacker. In 1986 Congress was
concerned that major information could leak and they would have no way of prosecuting those
at fault after they were caught. The downfall is that these laws can be used to imprison any
individual who uses the internet, even if it is just to update your Facebook status.
Bible Relation
Since I submitted my 1st draft, I felt like the section where we relate our topic to the Bible
was mediocre. So this week I decided to overhaul the entire paragraph to make it fit better. I
decided to use the over-prosecution of the cybercrimes in relation to the Bibles verses on being
wrongly accused. I am still not sure how I feel about the paragraph, but I think Im on the right
track. Who would have thought that it would be hard to find Bible verses relating to the topic of
Cybercrime.
1st Draft:
This is a very delicate subject when working in coordination with the Bible. The easiest
verse to point to is Exodus 20:15 known as the Seventh Commandment, Thou shalt not steal.
As information on the internet is technically considered intellectual property, the same law
should be applied. Matthew 25:34-36 says, . . . Come, you who are blessed by my Father,
inherit the Kingdom prepared for you from the creation of the world. . . [For I] I was in prison,
and you visited me. According to this verse, we are to visit those in prison. Taking it a step

further based on the topic, we have the duty to defend those from reaching prison in the first
place if we can, either through confrontation if they are doing a bad thing on the internet or
through making sure that the laws reflect what actions need to be taken to insure the innocent do
not end up in the incarceration system.
2nd Draft:
Due to the subject matter being in regards to technology today, no one in Biblical
times could foresee where we are today (except the Lord Himself) and thus is not clearly stated
and will have to come from more than one verse.
Dear brothers and sisters, when troubles of any kind come your way, consider it
an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your
endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully
developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing. (James 1:2-4,
NLT)
Those that are accused of cybercrimes that receive heavy sentences for small crimes are not
entirely innocent. However the magnitude of their sentences out-weighs the justification of their
crime. While this has happened, it should be our duty to encourage them to grow from it. If their
faith can survive the penalties they have endured, they will be stronger and have a closer
relationship to God for it.
Romans 12:19 says, Dear friends, never take revenge. Leave that to the righteous anger
of God. For the Scriptures say, I will take revenge; I will pay them back, says the LORD (NLT).
We should not seek revenge on those who wrongly accuse us or in the case of the CFAA overaccuse us. In conjunction with the verse from James 1, the message is clear that we are to leave

everything in the hands of the Lord. If we or someone we know serves jail time and has a
seemingly endless life of problems to follow, it is God testing us through others. We should
encourage those going through this pain to strengthen them.
General Shaping
I finally made a break-through this week. I was reading my daily source of news
(Reddit), where I found an article about Bernie Sanders, the potential Democratic candidate for
President in 2016, being Ayn Rands, author of the Atlas Shrugged and Anthem, worst
nightmare. While one of my favorite books I ever read was Anthem, and my ideas of Bernie
Sanders being a socialist, I was more than curious to see someone elses thinking on the matter.
I was shocked to find out that the article was actually Pro-Sanders for president. The article was
shaped so that I did not become offended like I would to some other news article, but I felt
informed afterwards. It may seem late, but I think I have found an article that I can use to mold
my research project from here. It is seen a little throughout the paper where I re-worded some
sentences and altered the introduction and concluding paragraphs.
Multi-Modal Project
I wanted my article to stand out, so I tried to emphasis certain sentences throughout my
website, along with adding a picture of all the social networks that are in existence today in a
collage. I did this to catch the reader with familiar logos and names. I added as the title to the
Introduction We are all in danger so it would be right next to the social networks to make the
relation in the mind of the reader, I use this, how am I in danger? Immediately under the social
networks, I added a quote from the text, ". . .to imprison any individual who uses the internet,
even if it is just to update your Facebook status." I looked at my webpage sort of like someone

who would be scrolling through the internet and glancing at something with those three key
things at the top would cause concern and they would read on.
I tried to put pictures with key figures names to show what these people look like. I am a
visual person and it makes it a lot easier for me to focus on a story if I have a picture of the
person in my head while reading it.
The major section of the website is devoted to the Aaron Swartz case, as he was
commended by the creator of the internet for advancing it, yet fell victim to U.S. laws regarding
it. Due to this I titled his section The CFAA brought the Death of a Prodigy. A few paragraphs
in I originally posted a link to a YouTube video of the nearly 2 hour long documentary of Aaron
Swartz. I figured this week that the average news reader might lose interest after 2 hours, so I
posted the trailer to the documentary, leaving it up to the reader if they want to watch the full
documentary. The trailer leaves just as much of an impact however.
Finally, I added a current event at the bottom next to the section
regarding what we should do. The current event is President Obamas
proposal on Securing Cyberspace with a picture of him speaking at the
NCCIC (National Cybersecurity and Communications Integration Center).
Upon adding this tonight, I realized that none of the hyperlinks are working
throughout my page, which go to other websites. I tried getting in contact
with support for Weebly, yet they are not in the office until Monday morning.
This is my next step, to re-add my hyperlinks to connect the dots through
the internet using other webpages as sources for information.