A Long Way Gone

Instructions: Make a copy of this document, rename it, and share it with your teacher. Your outline, drafts, and
final grade on this assignment will all live in this document!
If you need help with this assignment, make an appointment with Ms. Rowe or Ms. Melville after school.
Requirements: Five paragraphs totalling 500 words, typed in Arial black 12 point font. Each body paragraph
should include two quotes, either from A Long Way Gone or from an article.
Outline due Friday, February 27
Final draft due Friday, March 6

Rubric

Outstanding!

Organization: Introduction paragraph includes an interesting

hook, background, and a strong thesis. Each body paragraph
includes a topic sentence.

Evidence and Explanation: Each paragraph includes one

quote or fact from an article and one quote from A Long Way
Gone. Each quote provides convincing evidence of the
thesis. Quotes are introduced and explained.

Good
work!

You can do
better.

Not
complete

Project Management: You use class time productively and

submit your first draft by Friday, February 27th and final draft
by Friday, March 6th. (+/- 5 points)

+3

Improvement with Feedback (must share with teacher by

Friday, February 27th to receive feedback): You make
changes to your first draft based on your teachers feedback.
(+/- 5 points)

+5

TOTAL

93 (A) - Samira, you worked hard on your

essay and it shows! Your essay is well
structured and youve really improved in
how you follow the outline. You can still
improve how you integrate quotes into
each paragraph, and I would have liked
to see you include quotes from the
articles as well as the book, but you have
shown a lot of growth in your ability to
use quotes as evidence. Good work!

3rd / FINAL DRAFT

Imagine losing your family and being force to fight in a war at a very young age. Im writing this essay to
show how violence affects children. I will explore how violence affects children who are forced to fight in wars.
this happen in Sierra Leone during the civil war. Violence affects children physically, emotionally, socially.
One way that children experience violence is through physical pain. In the book Ishmael Beah is force
to steal food. That night we were so hungry that we stole peoples food while they slept. pg (Beah 29) This
shows the pain of hunger made him do things he never would've done before. The pain of hunger made him
so hurt that he couldnt even cry from the incident that had happened. Tears form in my eyes but I was to
hungry to cry. pg (Beah 26) War cause not just injury but pain from hunger .

Another form of pain is emotional also Ishmael feels fear all the time and finds himself running from his
own shadow. The reason he run from his shadow is because he know hes not himself so he cant look his self
in his eyes because he feel ashame and he always afraid someone after him. Often my shadow would scare
me and cause me to run for miles. pg (49) He was caught between not wanting to sleep because he was
afraid but didnt have no choice but to sleep because being awake brought back painful memories. I was
afraid to fall asleep, but staying awake also brought back painful memories. (Beah) pg (19) This shows he
could never be from of those bad memories he had in the past.
In this paragraph It will show you how children in Sierra Leone get affected by the violence socially.
People were terrified because they heard rumors of the young age boys that they were force to kill their
families and burn their villages. People were terrified of boys are age. (Beah)pg (37) During the war even
young innocent boys were treated like they were killers. This made them feel ashamed and feel like their bad
human beings even though they were force to kill. He press his fingers on his eyelids because he miss his
family and is stress out ! wish he could do something . I pressed my fingers on my eyelids to hold back my
tears and wished that I could have my family together again.(Beah 45) Children were in deep pain from losing
their family.
Violence affect children physically,emotionally,socially Children was affected by hunger losing their
family and torchured and abuse to kill when they dont want to. Violence is terrible for kids to face.

2nd DRAFT
INTRODUCTION
Hook

Imagine losing your family and being force to fight in a war at a very young age.

Background

Im writing this essay to show how violence affects children. I will explore how
violence affects children who are forced to fight in wars. this happen in Sierra Leone
during the civil war.

Thesis

Violence affects children physically,emotionally,socially.

PARAGRAPH 1 TOPIC: PHYSICAL

Topic Sentence

One way that children experience violence is through physical pain.

Introduce quote

In the book Ishmael Beah is force to steal food.

Quote
(with citation)

That night we were so hungry that we stole peoples food while they slept. pg (Beah
29)

Explain quote

This shows the pain of hunger made him do things he never would've done before.

Introduce quote

The pain of hunger made him so hurt that he couldnt even cry from the incident that
had happened.

Quote
(with citation)

Tears form in my eyes but I was to hungry to cry. pg (Beah 26)

Explain quote

War cause not just injury but pain from hunger .

PARAGRAPH 2 TOPIC:
Topic Sentence

Another form of pain is emotional also Ishmael feels fear all the time and finds
himself running from his own shadow.

Introduce quote

The reason he run from his shadow is because he know hes not himself so he cant
look his self in his eyes because he feel ashame and he always afraid someone after
him.

Quote
(with citation)

Often my shadow would scare me and cause me to run for miles. pg (49)

Explain quote

This shows how deeply the war affected him.

Introduce quote

He was caught between not wanting to sleep because he was afraid but didnt have
no choice but to sleep because being awake brought back painful memories.

Quote
(with citation)

I was afraid to fall asleep, but staying awake also brought back painful memories.
(Beah) pg (19)

Explain

This shows he could never be from of those bad memories he had in the past.

PARAGRAPH 3 TOPIC: socially

Topic Sentence

In this paragraph It will show you how children in Sierra Leone get affected by the
violence socially.

Introduce quote

People were terrified because they heard rumors of the young age boys that they
were force to kill their families and burn their villages.

Quote
(with citation)

People were terrified of boys are age. (Beah)pg (37)

Explain quote

During the war even young innocent boys were treated like they were killers. This
made them feel ashamed and feel like their bad human beings even though they
were force to kill.

Introduce quote

He press his fingers on his eyelids because he miss his family and is stress out !
wish he could do something .

Quote
(with citation)

I pressed my fingers on my eyelids to hold back my tears and wished that I could
have my family together again.(Beah 45)

Explain quote

Children were in deep pain from losing their family.

CONCLUSION
Restate Thesis

Violence affect children physically,emotionally,socially.

Sum up main
points

Children was affected by hunger losing their family and torchured and abuse to kill
when they dont want to.

Final conclusion

Violence is a terrible for kids to face.

OUTLINE
INTRODUCTION
Hook

Imagine losing your family and being force to fight in a war at a very young age

Background

Im writing this essay to show how violence affects children

Thesis

Violence affect children physically,emotionally,socially

PARAGRAPH 1 TOPIC: PHYSICAL

Topic Sentence

One way that children experience violence is through physical pain

Introduce quote

In the book Ishmael Beah is force to steal food

Quote
(with citation)

That night we were so hungry that we stole peoples food while they slept pg (29)

Explain quote

This shows the pain of hunger made him do things he never would've done before

Introduce quote

The pain of hunger made him so hurt that he couldnt even cry from the incident that
had happened

Quote
(with citation)

Tears form in my eyes but I was to hungry to cry pg (26)

Explain quote

War cause not just injury but pain from hunger

PARAGRAPH 2 TOPIC:
Topic Sentence

Another form of pain is emotional

Introduce quote

The reason he run from his shadow is because he know hes not himself so he cant
look his self in his eyes because he feel ashame and he always afraid someone after
him

Quote
(with citation)

Often my shadow would scare me and cause me to run for miles. pg (49)

Explain quote

This shows how deeply the war affected him

Introduce quote

He was caught between not wanting to sleep because he was afraid but didnt have
no choice but to sleep because being awake brought back painful memories

Quote
(with citation)

I was afraid to fall asleep, but staying awake also brought back painful memories.
pg (19)

Explain

This shows he could never be from of those bad memories he had in the past

PARAGRAPH 3 TOPIC: socially

Topic Sentence

In this paragraph It will show you how children in Sierra Leone get affected by the
violence socially.

Introduce quote

People were terrified because they heard rumors of the young age boys that they

were force to kill their families and burn their villages.

Quote
(with citation)

People were terrified of boys are age. pg (37)

Explain quote

During the war even young innocent boys were treated like they were killers.

Introduce quote

He press his fingers on his eyelids because he miss his family and is stress out and
wish he could do something

Quote
(with citation)

I pressed my fingers on my eyelids to hold back my tears and wished that I could
have my family together again. pg (45)

Explain quote

Children were in deep pain from losing their family

CONCLUSION
Restate Thesis

Violence affect children physically,emotionally,socially

Sum up main
points

Children was affected by hunger losing their family and torchured and abuse to kill
when they dont want to.

Final conclusion

Works Cited
Beah, I. (2007). A Long Way Gone. New York: Farrar, Straus and Giroux.
Smith, D. (2001, September). Children in the heat of war. American Psychological Association. Retrieved
from: http://www.apa.org/monitor/sep01/childwar.aspx
Community Violence: The Effects on Children. The Child Study Center. Retrieved from:
http://www.aboutourkids.org/articles/community_violence_effects_children