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MeaghanMcGann
SummerLeadershipSchool
ChristianEducation452
19August2013

ReflectionPaper
MySLSsummerwasprobablyoneofthehardestandbestsummersofmylife.
ThroughoutmyexperiencesinleadershipschoolandincounselingchildrenIlearnedtobetter
understandthepersonaldisciplineofreflectionandthepowerofansweredprayer.Additionally,
bylivinginatemporarycommunityfortwelveweeksIgrewtobetterunderstandtheroleand
theimportanceofChristiancommunity.Myhopeisthatthroughmyexperiencesthispast
summerIcanreentertheworldoutsideofHoneyRockwithabetterlongingandunderstanding
ofhowtolovetheLordandothersbetter.
Iamnotaveryintrospectiveperson.Atthestartofthesummerwhenwewerealljust
beginningtolearnthecorevaluesuponwhichHoneyRockoperates,myheartsankwhenIheard
aboutDisciplinedReflection.Iamverymuchapeopleperson.Ilovegettingtoknownewpeople
anddelightinlearningabouttheirindividualquirksandpassions.WhenIlearnedthatwewere
goingtohaveabout3045minuteseverymorningtospendindisciplinedreflection,Ibeganto
dreadcoldmorningsfilledwithbugsandboredomwhilemystomachgrowledforbreakfast.On
May23,oneofthefirstmorningsupatHoneyRock,Iwrote,GodIamsodistracted!My
thoughtsaregoinginsomanydifferentdirections.WhycantIfocus?...Helpmetohavea
positiveattitudethroughoutthecoldtoday.Helpmetorealizeitsokaytobestillandquiet.
AndonceIasked,Godsurelydidhelpme.NotonlydidHehelpme,Heblessedmeabundantly.
ThroughmorningsspenttalkingtotheLord,journalingandreadingHiswordIhavefelt

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refreshedandrenewed.GodtrulyshowedmethebeautyofHiscreationandspoketomethrough
Hisword.Iamsothankfulthatthistimeofdisciplinedreflectionwassomethingthatwas
scheduledintoeverydayearlyoninthesummer,otherwiseImighthavenevertakenthetimeto
realizeitsimportance.
Reflectingishard,thatiswhyitisadiscipline.However,Godcallsustobedisciplined,
tobegoodstewardsofourminds.BeforethissummerIneverrealizedhowlackingandavoidant
Iwasintheintrospectivecategory.Bymakingmyselfbequiet,awayfrompeopleeveryday,I
gainedbetterunderstandingofmyselfandwhatwashappeningaroundmewhilegrowingcloser
totheLord.ThroughthisexperienceIlearnedthatintentionaltimealoneishardforanextrovert,
butsonecessaryandrefreshingforspiritualgrowth.
Goinghandinhandwithdisciplinedreflection,Ilearnedtobetterunderstandthepower
ofprayerthissummer.AtthestartofthesummermanyofmyjournalentriesaskedGodtohelp
mebemorepatientandlovingandsecureinmyidentity.IrememberitseeminglikeeverytimeI
openedmyBibleIwasreadingapassageabouthowtoloveothersbetterorwhyIamlovedby
God.Formostofthesummerthisonlyledtoincreasedfrustrationanddisappointmentwith
myselfastowhyIwasntlivinglikeIbelievedthesetruths.Thenmyunitstarteddoing
affirmationcirclesatunitdebriefs.Itsalwaysawkwardwhenaffirmationisscheduledinto
conversationandIremembergroaninginwardlyasIwaitedtobeaffirmedbymyunit.However,
astheybegantotalkIrealizedthattheywereaffirmingtheverythingsIhadbeenaskingGodto
helpmewith.Furthermore,duringtheclosingfirewhentheUnitLeaderssharedthewordsthey
hadchosenforus,mywordwassecure.EvenwhileIwasfrustratedwithmyselfandnotfeeling
hugeinstancesofgrowth,GodwasworkinginmeandusingotherstoaffirmHispower!

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AnotherinstanceinwhichIwasveryconvictedaboutthepowerofprayeroccurredwith
oneofmyIntroWeekcampers.WehadbeentalkingabouthowGodisfaithfultoHispromises
duringCabinImpactandafterconcludingourtalk,wechallengedthegirlstogooutandreflect
aboutGodspromisesandHisfaithfulness.Atfirstmyco,Katie,andIwerentquitesurehow
ourlessonhadgoneandkindofassumedthegirlswereboredbytheconversation.Then,during
CabinReflectionthatnight,oneofourgirlsspokeup.EmilytoldushowGodhadreallyaltered
herprayerlifeduringMorningWatchthatdaybecauseHehadansweredherprayer.Whenasked
howHehaddonethis,sherespondedthatshehadaccidentallykilledaninchwormbutthatshe
hadprayedforthelittleinchwormandGodhadhealedhim.Shecommunicatedsuchsimple
beliefandsweetexpressionofhowGodcaresevenforinchworms.Thisconvictedmesomuch
aboutthepowerofGodtoansweranyprayer,bigorsmall.Godcaresaboutmesomuch,but
howlittletimedoIspendtalkingtoHim,especiallyaboutlittlethings?Emilyprobablydoesnt
knowhowmuchherstoryhasimpactedmeandremindedmetocontinuallytalktotheLord.
Goddefinitelyusedthatsimpleinchwormtoconvictmeinbigwaysaboutmyprayerlife.
DuringmytimeatHoneyRockIhadtheopportunitytostudytheOldTestamentunder
theinstructionoftheknowledgeableDr.Graves.Throughoutthisclasswestudiedthejourneyof
theIsraelites,theircycleofsin,judgmentandrepentanceandtheimportanceandrelevanceof
Godsredemptivepowerthroughouttheirexperiences.TheIsraelitesjourneyandconquestin
thewildernessespeciallystoodouttome.Inclass,whenwestudiedthebookofJoshuaand
learnedaboutAchan,IrememberthinkinghowharshitwasthatGodpunishedalltheIsraelites
foronemanssin.Ididntunderstandwhyitwassuchabigdealtothewholeentirecommunity
thatonemanhadtakenandhiddensomeplunderfromacitythathehadhelpeddefeat.Whydid

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everyonehavetosuffersoharshlyforsomemissingloot?
LateronthatweekIhadaconversationwithmybrother(whowasaUnitLeaderthis
summer)abouthisHoneyRockexperienceinSLS.Hetalkedabouthowhewishedthatduring
histimeherehehadtakentheopportunitytobemorevulnerablewithinhiscommunity.Hetold
methatopennessandvulnerabilityarereallyhardtocomeby,butthattheyarevitaltothe
growthandsuccessofcommunity.Heencouragedmetotakefulladvantageofthisrare
opportunitytodolifewithacommunitythathasacommongoalandtobeopensothatIcanbe
accountable.
Istartedthinkingabouthowharditistobevulnerable.Mostpeople,especiallyin
Americanculture,doeverythingtheycantoavoidvulnerability.Independenceishighly
esteemedandvulnerabilityandopennessappearweak.Sooften,whenIhavetoopportunityto
sharelifeinawaythatwillmakemevulnerable,Ihesitateorclampup.Mypridegetsintheway
andcausesmetocloseanyopendoorstheremighthavebeen.This,Ivebeguntorealize,isnot
atallconducivetotheprosperityofeffectivecommunity!Itisextremelydifficulttogrowfrom
mistakesifmoreeffortisputintohidingthemthantocorrectingtheerror.InclassDr.Graves
statedthatsoofteneveryoneisactingforeachotherandthatkillscommunity.Imlearning
thatpartofthebeautyofcommunityislivingoutandworkingthroughthehardanduglythings
inlifetogether.Ratherthanhideourimperfectionsandfaultsweshouldbringthemoutintothe
opensothatwecankeepeachotheraccountable.Accountabilityissuchanecessaryfactorfor
growth,butitisimpossibletoremainaccountablewhenweareunawareofeachothershurts
andhangups.
Myunit,theOtteromps,didanawesomejobwithvulnerabilityandaccountabilitythis

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summer.IlearnedsomuchfrommyUnitLeader,Rachel,aboutthegiftofgoingsecond.From
thesecondweekofSLS,duringunitwildernesstripswhenwehardlykneweachother,she
modeledopennessandvulnerability.Indoingsoshegaveusagiftbyhumblingherselfbefore
usfirst,shemadeitokayforustoopenupaboutourmistakesandstrugglesandimperfections.
Andboywasitpainful.IbothhatedandlovedthosetalkswithRachelandtheotherOtteromps.
Rachelcouldjustlookatyouandknowwhenyouhadnttoldthewholestoryorwhenyouwere
makingsomethinglesssignificantthanitreallywas.Theothergirlspickeduponthisdirectness.
IcancountsomanytimesinwhichmyunitscoldedmewhenIneededtobescoldedor
comfortedmewhenIgothomesickanddiscouraged.Godblessedmewithanawesome
communityofgirlsthissummer.However,thiscommunitywouldnothavebeenwhatitwasif
wehadkeptitsurfacelevelandbeentootimidtoexposeourownweaknessesandimperfections.
ThroughmyOtterompsGodchallengedmetorealizemybrokennessandthentobeblessedasI
waslovedthroughmyflaws.
Thegiftofgoingsecondandthepowerofrealizingweareinanimperfectcommunity
weresuchnecessaryfactorsincreatingauthenticChristiancommunitythissummer.Nextyear,
asIcomeintotheleadershiproleofChristianLifeCounseloronmyfloor,Ihopetoimplement
thesevaluablelessonsaswellascontinuetoseekoutthedisciplinesofreflectionandconstant
prayer.IndoingsoIhopetoshareandrepresentabetterknowledgeandunderstandingofwhat
theBodyofChristshouldactandlooklikeinbothmyownlifeandinmyinteractionswith
others.