Barzinezhad

Amir Barzinezhad
Ashley P. Marcum
English 111-FTJ 77 and 78
22 October 2015
Friendship Criteria Final Draft of Multiple Source Essay
When we talk about living in the new world, we cant imagine it without the relationships
to other people. Although with progress of the technology in recent years, the shape of our
relationships changes totally in compare to previous years, but our life style is considerably
joined to these relationships, and no body can have a pleasant life without them. Among the
persons that we know from past to present, we have intimacy and closer connection with some of
them, and we can consider them as our friends. But the question is, how we can select our
friends, and what are our criteria to make a person a friend? Therefore, this essay will look at
how we define the criteria for friendship and how we can consider a person as our friend. After
that we see how these criteria explored in the relationships between Bryson and Katz in the book
A Walk in the Woods by Bill Bryson. Friendship can be based on first, utility, and second, ethics.
We can see different aspects of these two criteria that shape our friendship.
Utility can be one of the criteria for choosing friends. The partners in this kind of
relationship meet each others needs. Their needs are based on benefits. John J. Conley in Just
Friends writes, In the friendship of utility, we exercise good-willed sociability as we engage
others in pursuing our own interests. These benefits can be different things like economical
advantages, pleasure or taking care of each other. In recent years, due to growing of the
economical problems, most of the people establish their relationships upon economical
usefulness. M. E. Doyle and M. K. Smith in Friendship theory: some philosophical and social

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themes state, Friendship is wrapped up with other aspects of peoples social and economic
lives. So this aspect of life has effect in our criteria for constituting the relationships. The good
example for relationships based on utility is between young people that normally these relations
are formed by pleasure, and they use each other to meet their needs by making enjoyable time for
each other or by sex. Doyle and Smith discuss Aristotle on friendship that friendship between
the young is though to be grounded on pleasure, because the lives of the young are regulated by
their feelings, and their chief interest is in their own pleasure and the opportunity of the
moment. We can say that relationships based on pleasure is one of the subdivision of friendship
based on utility, because in fact the partners use each other, and meet their needs and benefits.
Sometimes we need that somebody taking care of us. For example we need a person to cook for
us, to support and help us in hard situation or to care us from different dangers. In fact, our utility
is caused to establish this friendship. These kinds of friendship usually doesnt last long time,
because with advancing years, the tastes and the benefits of the partner change. Richard
Brookhiser in Emeritus Friends notes, Friendship becomes emeritus because the qualities
that we prize change. This form lasts as long as there is benefit involved, so there is no future
for this kind of friendship.
We can find out by reading A Walk in the Woods by Bill Bryson, the relationship between
Bryson and Katz was established based on utility. Although Katz was Brysons old friend school,
they hadnt seen each other in past twenty-five years except three or four times. Bryson makes a
good reason for us: We had remained in a kind of theoretical sense, but our paths had diverged
wildly (28). After Bryson decided to hike the trail, he needed some one to accompany him along
the trail. Bryson writes, Then there were all the problems and particular dangers of solitude
(27). Many dangers could threaten his life in the woods, so he preferred that somebody taking

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care of him. He notes, At Christmas, I put notes in lots of cards inviting people to come with me
on the trail, if only part of the way (Bryson 27). After his invitation, Katz accepted to
accompany him. We can see that the relationship between Bryson and Katz was formed at first
by usefulness. After they started hiking in the woods, they took care of each other and they met
their needs. Bryson writes, I would leave my pack and go back and find him, to see that he was
all right, which always pleased him (71). He continues, We seemed to be looking out for each
other. It was very nice. I can put it no other way (Bryson 71). In part of the trail, they were
compelled to cross the river. While they were crossing, Bryson fell in trouble and he was
drawing. Bryson states that before Katz sloshed to my assistance, firmly grabbed my shirt, and
thrust me back into a world of light and noise and set me on my feet (352). In that situation
Katz was watching out Bryson, and saved his life. According these clues and reasons we can
declare that Bryson and Katz help each other during hiking the trail, and maybe it was
impossible for them to hike the trail without each other.
Friendship based on ethics has various components such as mutual sympathy, goodness,
loyalty, honesty and trust. If we decide to establish our friendship based on ethics, we must try to
find the person that is reliable. In this kind of relationships we need time and space to recognize
each other. Doyle and Smith note, You cannot get to know each other until you have eaten the
proverbial quantity of salt together. We must put virtue in this kind of friendship and want each
other for what we are. We must wish good for our friends and try to prove ourselves to them.
Doyle and Smith make the same point as Aristotle on friendship, Nor can one man accept
another, or the two become friends, until each has proved to the other that he is worthy of love,
and so won his trust. We must be friend in all situations like hardships, conveniences, sadness or
happiness. If we prefer for our friends the things that we want for ourselves and dont prefer for

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our friends the things that we dont want for ourselves, we will find that most of our friends will
tend to treat us well. In this way, we can show them that we are worthy of trust and friendship.
After we show that we are worthy of friendship, all the features of the real friendship like mutual
sympathy, loyalty and honesty arise between us. Doyle and Smith quote from another piece of
research on friendship, Blums work, Friendship. Altruism and Morality: The moral excellence
of friendship, thus, involve a high level of development and expression of the altruistic emotions
of sympathy, concern and care-a deep caring for and identification with the good of another from
whom one clearly knows oneself to be clearly other (Blum 1980:71). (Doyle and Smith). If we
think about the meaning and the aspects of the true friendship, maybe we decide to select our
friends based on ethics, and we try to put goodness in our relationships. In this way we could
have friendship in high quality that is enduring, and it causes our happiness in our life.
As we mentioned earlier, although the relationship between Bryson and Katz was
established again based on utility for hiking the trail after long time, but we can find according
different reasons, the friendship between them was nurtured along the trail. While they were
hiking the trail, they had enough time and space to shape their friendship based on goodness.
Bryson writes, I started in surprise at the wall of my tent in the direction from which his voice
had come. In all the weeks of camping together, it was the first time he had wished me a good
night (350). Before they join together again to continue hiking in Maine when Bryson was
hiking some parts of the trail without Katz, one night he was alone in the silent wood, and he
missed Katz. He explains, I missed Katz, missed his puffing and bitching and unflappable
fearlessness, hated the thought that I could sit waiting on a rock till the end of time and he would
never come (Bryson 252). This sentimental expression shows intimacy and deep affection
between Bryson and Katz. After they found each other, Katz said, I really was glad when you

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turned up. To tell you the truth, Ive never been so glad to see another person in my whole life
(Bryson 383). This kind of emotional expressions grows from the sense of loyalty, and exists
among true friends that want each other for what they are, not for usefulness. There are several
clues that show sympathy and honesty was flowed in the relationships between Bryson and Katz.
After Bryson found out that Katz has begun to drink again, he was worried for Katz. Bryson
says, Stephen, you know you cant drink (362). He continues, Im not going to buy you
beer (Bryson 362). We know Bryson wants health for Katz. This sense of sympathy only grows
between true friends. Katz says, I know I cant drink. I know I cant have just a couple of beers
like a normal person (Bryson 371). He adds, But I love to drink. I cant help it. I mean, I love
it, Brysonlove the taste, love that buzz you get when youve had a couple, love the smell and
feel of taverns (Bryson 371). Here we understand Katz accepts his problem, and he tells the
truth about his drinking with honesty to Bryson. We can attribute these clues to the friendship
that is established based on ethics and to the friends that want good for each other. These friends
put virtues in their relationships, and they try to nurture this kind of relationships.
When we want to select every thing we need in our lives, we consider quality. When we
consider quality in simple things, how we can assume to select our friends without consideration
of quality? Choosing a friend is one of the hard decisions that every body makes in his or her
life. We can state quality in choosing the friends means that we try to have authentic friendship.
When we select our friends intellectually, we can have authentic friendship. In John J. Conleys
opinion, A bond between the morally and intellectually mature, this authentic friendship helps
the partners to grow mutually in the virtues, those hard-won habits of intellect and will necessary
for human happiness. We can choose usefulness, and establish the friendship based on utility
that is impermanent, or we can put virtues in our relationships to constitute the high quality

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friendship based on ethics that is authentic and enduring, and it brings us all aspects of true
friendship, and it causes our happiness in our lives.

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Works Cited
Brookhiser, Richard. Emeritus Friends National Review. 65.5 (2013): 51. Academic
Search Complete. Web. 21 Sept. 2015.
Bryson, Bill. A Walk in the Woods: Rediscovering America On the Appalachian Trail.
New York: Anchor Books, 1998. Print.
Conley, S. J., John J. Just Friends America 210.15 (2014): 32. Academic Search
Complete. Web. 21 Sept. 2015.
Doyle, Michele E. and Mark K. Smith. Friendship theory: some philosophical and
sociological themes. Infed. YMCA George Williams College, 2002. Web. Date of
Access.