Its super easy to blame everyone or everything else for our unfavorable circumstan

ces. While we all have things happen that are outside of our control, too often
we take the position that we dont have any power to make positive changes.
This is the tension between a problem and solution mindset. One makes you a vict
im, the other makes you an overcomer. The feeling of powerlessness can contribut
e to victim like thinking, and because we don t like feeling that we are powerle
ss, we can easily begin to blame someone or something for causing that feeling.
You can blame yourself or look for a deeper answer, find a better way--accept th
at sometimes we don t communicate well enough, instead of blaming another. Not g
onna blame myself for all of the problem either, but take some ownership, and sa
y I m not all of it but I am part of it.
How do we overcome that? How do we gravitate toward a solution oriented mindset.
How do we make sure we don t just blame everybody else. Well, no need to blame.
Intead, we need to work on maintaining a "solution mindset", so as not to fall
victim. Figure out a solution with our own choices, by examinig the promblem and
accepting we are part of it. Patially responsible or partial ownership, however
you want to look at it.
Sometimes looking for inspiration and positive messages can help identify faulty
thinking and beliefs that hold you back. There is no point lingering in the lan
d of denial. Its a sure way to waste time and escalate negative thinking.
I accept where I am is because of me, not anyone else. By the same token, I bele
ive that I could not reflect on many of my successes without acknowledging the s
imple fact that others contributed to the solution of my being successful.
Some of the more progressivbe thinkers of the day believe the best way to commun
itcate is to make people feel understood. Making them understand and understandi
ng them. Many people are always trying so hard to make people understand from th
eir point of view, when sometimes the solution is to make people feel understood
.