Galstian

Mari Galstian
Professor Jon Beadle
English 115
15 September 2015
Be the Leader Not the Follower
We live in a world where judging is done and seen by many people, shaping the people in
the society with their expectations. By reading these essays it was made clear that every author's
judgment reflected onto their writing. Articles such as No Way My Boys Are Going To Be Like
That: Parents Responses to Childrens Gender Nonconformity written by Emily W. Kane and
From Women, Men, and Society written by Claire Renzetti and Daniel Curran discuss how
society shapes each sex, gender, and many parents expectations. As a result, parents put
restrictions on their children, which prevent their children from deviating away from societies
expectations.
While analyzing these essays I comprehended that people base their lives off of societybased concepts. For multiple centuries people have accepted that men are ideally masculine and
females are ideally feminine. These concepts created by society, are suppose to suit each sex with
its ideal gender. Renzetti and Curran state in their essay, That parents associate their childs sex
with specific personality and behavioral traits is further evidenced by the effort they put into
ensuring that others identify their childs sex correctly (Renzetti & Curran 77). This signifies the
fact that parents give importance to how others identify their child by physical appearance. Due
to the fact that parents are a part of society, they want to raise a model child that socially

Galstian

corresponds his or her gender. In order for society to categorize their childs gender correctly,
they dress their daughters up in primarily pink clothing and sons in blue clothing in order for the
outsider to be able to distinguish the childs gender, when these parents take their child out of the
house. Parents do not acknowledge the fact that the public eye does not know their child better
then his or her parents, and does not have the right to critic their child. As stated in Renzettis
and Currans essay, ...Certain types of clothing encourages or discourages particular behaviors
or activities (Renzetti & Curran 77). Having girls wear dresses discourages them from playing
with boy suited games or any sort of activities that a boy would ideally be apart of. Girls are
known to be more organized and neat than most boys when it comes to physical appearance
because they are more cautious about how they appear to others. Furthermore, having boys dress
in jeans and a t-shirt encourages them to be allowed to play freely and be rough because boys do
not care about getting down and dirty in their clothing unlike girls.
Often times when children are not classified as their correct sex, even though they are
wearing their ideal clothing, many parents get offended because they put effort into their childs
physical appearance; in order for their child to be identified as his or her accurate sex. Others
might argue that even though strangers offend these parents because they did not classify their
childs sex correctly, they should not blame them. As stated in Renzetti and Currans essay,
Male and female infants overlap more than they different in weight, length, amount of hair,
alertness, and activity level (Renzetti &Curran 77). At such young age babies often times have
similar facial features, which could lead to confusion and might result in false classification.
Having said that, parents want whats best for their child and want their child to be known as the
gender their sex is tied to in order to live up to social norms; for them not to be differentiated by
others.

Galstian

These so called girl toys and boy toys are ways to form these children for their future
careers. Boys play with action figures that are masculine and strong so they could grow up to
support their family by working hard and representing the stronger sex by being masculine.
The practical girl toys are Barbies, kitchen sets, baby dolls, etc.; these toys are designed to get
the girls ready for their future careers by preparing them for motherhood and domesticity by
being feminine. These specific toys are set in order to plant a strong root for their future. Often
times boys want girl toys from their parents due to them being exposed to these toys by their
siblings or friends.
Most parents prohibit their sons from wanting feminine toys based on social norms. Kane
interviewed a heterosexual father about the concern many parents are having, regarding their
sons playing with girl toys, and in return this father responded by saying, If he asked for a
Barbie doll, I would probably say no, you dont want [that], girls play with [that], boys play with
trucks (Kane 93). This father only acknowledged his son to play with masculine toys, especially
trucks because he and society see that as a toy designed only for boys. Really? Does the trucks
label say boys only? Or do Barbies have a for girls only label? To some extend they do label
these toys by the advertisements on the box or even on TV by the gender that appears to play
with these toys. It does not affect some children which gender is playing with the toy on TV; if
they are interested in it they will want it regardless of their gender. Such restrictions are set by
parents often times because they do not want their son to be homosexual, these fears do not apply
to girls because when a girl plays with trucks and action figures, her parents think she will grow
to be stronger and more self reliable; in this society women are viewed weaker than men. Kane
states that, But for sons, even among parents of very young children, heteronormativity appears
to play a role in shaping parental responses to gender nonconformity... (Kane, 96) This signifies

Galstian

how parents feel responsible for their childs confusion of gender; especially their sons gender
nonconformity. Ideally fathers want to be their sons role models and do anything in their power
to guide them into the ideal concept of them being masculine. However, if they fail to do so it is
as if they have failed to raise their child, a sort of disappointment comes upon them as a parent.
Fathers encourage their sons to participate in sports, which would assist them in being
physically strong and may lead their sons into becoming mentally strong and stable in the future.
One could argue with parents who do not allow their son to play with girls toys that often times
boys want to play with girls toys because they might have been influenced by their sisters or any
girl in their surroundings. Boys at such young age might not be able to classify the difference
between these genders and all the minor classifications. Children often times go through phases
that they can only comprehend and Barbie dolls for boys could be highly capable of being one of
these stages.
There are many cases in which I have witnessed fathers get more distressed than mothers
when their son performs a feminine act or played with girl toys. For example my cousins son,
Andrew, who has three older sisters, two being extremely feminine and one not so much;
growing up around girls he shows more concentration to Barbies then trucks. Furthermore,
when Andrews mother sees him playing with one of his sisters toys she does not give much
thought but instead she shows him how to play with the toy in a masculine way, if possible. In
contrast to that, his father does not want him to play with his sisters toys at all but instead for him
to play with all the action figures and trucks he has bought him. Andrew is not concerned with
the boy toys his dad has bought him because since birth hes been exposed to his sisters playing
with their Barbies, and now he thinks that dolls are also the ideal toys for him. Andrew has been
in many situations where he could not decide which toy to play with when he was faced with a

Galstian

masculine and feminine toy, this sets a sort of fear inside of his father that his son will not follow
his footsteps but instead he will follow his sisters.
The people of society have expectations towards each sex and which gender they should
represent. Society consists of parents and their children who try to meet society-shaped
expectations especially when it comes to gender roles. Parents try to raise their children by
guiding them into their model gender role in order for them to fit in; disregarding what their
unique childs appropriate gender is and considering the societies archetypal gender. The effect
of this is that many children will never know how to break this shell and get out of the incorrect
gender they were placed into, since birth. However they will end up facing challenges against the
society for the rest of their lives.

Works Cited

Galstian
Kane, Emily W. No Way My Boys Are Going to Be Like That:
Parents Responses to Childrens Gender Nonconformity.
Composing Gender Rachel Groner and John F. OHara.
Boston, 2014. Print.
Renzetti, Claire & Curran, Daniel, Women, Men and Society,
Rachel Groner and John F. OHara, Composing Gender.
Boston, 2014. Print