Running Head: MANAGING INTERPERSONAL CONFLICT

Managing Interpersonal Conflict

Nathan Prescott
LDS Business College

MANAGING INTERPERSONAL CONFLICT

Managing interpersonal conflict has been a real struggle for me in my life. Most of
the time, I dont think that working through the conflict is worth the trouble. But as I have
studied communication and the effects that it has on us, I have come to realize the
substantial importance in successfully navigating through conflict. I have made it my goal
to improve in managing interpersonal conflict. Throughout my research, I have come to
realize the true importance of working through conflicts, and the detrimental effects of
ignoring them.
Most of my life I have either butted heads in contentious conflict, or I have avoided
it. These last few months I have realized that neither are viable options for
communication, and for the proper management of conflict. As I began researching this
topic, I learned that those are not the only two options when facing conflict. I used to
think that a conflict was either black or white - either we avoid it, or we fight and argue
with others. But I learned that it does not have to be that way. When facing conflict, we
should steer away from the black and white policies, and instead navigate the gray
(Schrage, 2014, p. 3). This principle is incredibly relevant to my situation, because I
thought that I could either avoid it and not get angry, or I could give in to the conflict and
contention and lose my inner peace. And as I pondered this principle, I realized that when
I avoid conflict I still feel upset. I may not be angry, but I am upset. This goes to show
that the black and white approach really does not work, and we must navigate the gray
area in between (Schrage, 2014, p. 3).
My research also helped me to understand how cataclysmic my avoidance of conflict
could be in relationships. I thought that if I avoid conflict and just give the other person
what they want, it would strengthen our relationship. I thought that avoiding conflict

MANAGING INTERPERSONAL CONFLICT

would strengthen our relationship because it would show how great of friends we are,
because we never fought or argued. My studies have shown me that that was an incorrect
conclusion. Dr. Larry Alan Nadig (2010), a clinical psychologist in marriage and family
therapy teaches that you will damage your relationships if you constantly give in to keep
the other person happy (para. 6). If you do this, you will unintentionally train those
around you to become insensitive to your needs (Nadig, 2010, para. 6). Basically, if you
always give in and give the other person what they want, they will stop caring about what
you want. We cannot avoid conflict, because that does not solve the problem. We cannot
avoid these tough situations, because relationships cannot exist without conflicts (Nadig,
2010, para. 1). We must learn how to solve these conflicts, without avoiding them, and
without escalating them.
So now I understood the importance of peacefully managing conflicts, but I still
needed to know how to do so. Jennifer Meyer Schrage (2014) teaches that we must make
room in our systems for growth in response to conflict (p. 3). Most of us go about our
days doing the same old bad habits, like avoiding conflict. We will not truly change
unless we start making conflict resolution a priority. Basically, Schrage (2014) teaches us
that we must make room in our lives for conflict resolution (p. 3). We can make room in
our lives by deciding that every time a conflict arises, we will stop what we are doing and
work to solve the problem. We must take action to become more skilled at this. In the
workplace I could put this principle into action by trying to solve conflicts right away,
instead of letting unresolved feelings of contention fester inside of me until a huge rift is
driven between my coworker and I. By setting aside time to manage interpersonal
conflicts, and by making it a priority, I can begin to build stronger relationships.

MANAGING INTERPERSONAL CONFLICT

Managing interpersonal conflict is a process, we become more skilled at it as we test

it out and find the most peaceful approaches. It is important in relationships to overcome
conflicts, because they can drive friends, families, and spouses apart. Both parties must
approach conflicts with an open mind, unclouded by emotions and high tempers. Both
parties must also enter into discussion while viewing the conflict as a problem that needs
to be solved by both of them (Nadig, 2010, para. 3). It is crucial for each person involved
to take responsibility for solving the problem, because it negates the usual dilemma
where one person concedes and the other person wins. A successfully resolved conflict
should result in everyone winning. There is always more than one or two solutions to a
problem. If both parties are not satisfied with the solutions at hand, they should
brainstorm to find results that they are both happy with (Nadig, 2010, para. 11).
I can use this principle of viewing conflicts as problems that need to be solved in the
workplace. Many people have been fired because they failed to properly navigate through
conflicts, becoming unprofessionally indignant in the workplace. If I can approach
conflicts as a problem that needs to be solved, and handle them professionally, I will be
more successful. If I put this principle to use, I can become a better teammate, a respected
employee, or even an admired boss.
Like I said before, learning to manage conflict is a process, one that we can become
better at as we work at it. Dr. Nadig (2010) counsels that managing interpersonal conflict
becomes easier as conflict resolutions skills and trust are developed (para. 3). So
experience, skills, and trust will help us to turn conflicts into lasting relationships. In my
future, when I am a successful executive who has become adept at managing
interpersonal conflict, I will continually rely on this principle to resolve conflicts. In the

MANAGING INTERPERSONAL CONFLICT

face of conflict, I will strengthen relationships through my skills and through trust. I will
build trust within my employees by building meaningful relationships with them. I will
be present in their lives, and I will be present in the workplace. I will not rule through
fear, because when fear and power are used to win in a conflict, the relationship will be
mortally wounded (Nadig, 2010, para 5). I will show my employees that I love and trust
them, so that they will in turn learn to love and trust me. With the skills that I have
learned in conflict resolution as well as a trusting relationship with my employees, we
will be able to solve any problem that we face.
Armed with new knowledge, I will be able to stand tall in the daunting face of
conflict. I will use the principles that I have learned to better manage interpersonal
conflict in my life, and in the workplace. By implementing these key principles and skills
into my life, I will be able to resolve conflict and build better relationships. I will work to
build meaningful relationships in the workplace so that when conflicts arise, we can face
them as two friends who must solve a problem. I will also approach workplace conflicts
with the right state of mind (Nadig, 2010, para 7). I will show that I care about their
needs, and I will work to find a solution until we are both satisfied with the outcome. I
will also make room in my work life for conflict resolution (Schrage, 2014, p. 3) by
taking coworkers into a neutral zone where we can both calmly work out our conflict. I
will use the skills that I have learned to become accomplished in managing interpersonal
conflicts in my life and in the workplace.

MANAGING INTERPERSONAL CONFLICT

References

Nadig, L. A. (2010, July 19). Relationship conflict: healthy or unhealthy. Retrieved

November 19, 2015, from http://www.drnadig.com/conflict.htm

Schrage, J. M. (2014) A sea change on the horizon: transforming our students and
campuses through innovative conflict management. About Campus, 19(3), 3.
Retrieved from Academic Search Premier