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MarianaGarcia
ProfessorJonBeadle
English113A
29September2015
ParentsInteractionwithChild
Nomatterwhatthegender,everychilddeservesthesameattentionwhenitcomesto
emotions.Parentsshouldbeawareoftheirresponsestheygiveachildwhenthechildwantsto
playorwearsomethingthatisconsideredtobefortheoppositesex.Achildisachild,andnot
everygirllikeswearingpinkorplaywithdollsandnoteveryboylikeswearingblueorplaywith
cars.Everychildisdifferentandjustbecausetheylikewearingorplayingwithacertaintoydoes
notmeanitwilldeterminethechildssexualorientation.InthetwoaritclesFromWomen,Men,
andSocietyandNoWayMyBoysAreGoingToBeLikeThat:ParentsResponsesto
ChildrensNonconformityshareonecommonidea:Parentsfearofthierchildrennotbeingin
thesocialnorm.Theseauthorsmayaddresstheissuetocreateawarenessamongparentsbutto
otherreadersaswell.Theauthorsarguethateventhoughsocietytendstocategorizechildren
basedontheirgenders,parentsshouldnotfallunderthatsocialnormandtreattheirchild
equally.Myparentsdidfallunderthatcategory,andevengotupsetwhenmybrotherandIdont
followspecificgenderroles.
AccordingtoanarticlecalledFromWomen,Men,andSocietybyClaireRenzettiand
DanielCurran,theauthorsaddresstheissueonparentscategorizingtheirchildintospecific
genderroles.RenzettiandCurranmentionthatresearchersdiscoveredthatparentstreattheir
childdependingonwhatsexthechildis.Parentsuseagreaternumberandvarietyofemotions

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wordswhentalkingwithdaughtersthansons.Theytalkmoreaboutsadnesswithdaughters,
whereastheytalkmoreaboutangerwithsons(RenzettiandCurran79),thisprovesthat
parentsareusedtofollowingwithsocialnorms,andbelieveintreatingthechilddifferently
basedonthechildsgender.Parentsbelievethatwomengetmoreemotionalthanmen.Theyalso
believethatmentendtogetangrymorethanwomen.
AccordingtoanotherarticlecalledNoWayMyBoysAreGoingtoBeLikeThat:
ParentsResponsestoChildrensGenderNonconformitybyEmilyW.Kane,theauthorswrites
aboutparentsconcernsandresponsestotheirchildwantingtodosomethingdifferentfromtheir
specifiedgenderroles.Thefactthattheconnectionsbetweengenderperformanceandsexual
orientationwasnotraisedfordaughters,andthatofhomosexualitywasnotspontaneously
mentionedbyparentsdaughterswhetherincommontogenderperformanceornot(Kane96),
thisshowsgirlscrossinggenderboundariesismorenormalthanitisforboys.
Botharticlestalkaboutthewayparentsinteractwiththeirchildbasedonthechilds
gender.Thearticlesalsotalkabouthowtoysandclothesseemtohaveanimpactonthedifferent
treatmentgivenbasedongender.Toysforgirlsstillrevolvedaroundthethemesofdomesticity
andmotherhood,whiletoysforboysfocusedonactionandadventure.Aquickperusalofmost
contemporarytoycatalogsrevealsthatlittlehaschangedduringthe1990saswell(Renzettiand
Curran80),thisdemonstratesthatsocietygiveseverythingalabelincludingtoystospecify
genderroles.InKanesarticle,shewritesaboutsomenegativeresponsesgivenbyaparentin
regardsoftheirsoncrossinggenderboundaries.Hesaskedaboutwearinggirlclothesbefore,
andIsaidnoHelikespink,andItrynottoencouragehimtolikepinkjustbecauseyouknow,

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hesnotagirl(Kane93),thisnegativeresponsegivenbyamothershowshowclothesand
colorhasanimpactinthewaygenderisviewed.
Theauthorswriteabouttheseissuestoinformreadersthatsocietyplaysahugerolein
howparentsinteractwiththeirchild.Forinstance,socialnormscauseparentstobesoafraidof
theirchildcrossinggenderboundaries.Socialnormsaffectthewayparentswanttheirchildto
behave,dress,andwhattheirchildcanplaywith.Parentsseesocialnormsasapartoflifeand
itsunusualtochangehowthingsaresupposetobe.Itisnotokayforparentstoshowdifferent
treatmentandgivedifferentresponsestotheirchildbasedontheirgender.Childrenshouldntbe
judgedordeniedthetoyorclothestheywanttohave.Toysandclothesdonotdeterminea
childssexualorientation.Everychildhasdifferenttaste,anddespiteofthat,childrenshould
lovedandtreatedequally.
Theideaofparentsgivingtheirchildcertaingenderrolesappliestomyownlife
experience.MyparentsalwayssaythatmybrothersandIreceivethesametreatment,however
theiractionsandwordssaysomethingdifferent.Growingup,Inoticedthatmyparentstreated
mybrothersandIdifferently.Mybrotherscouldonlyplaywithcars,actionfigures,oranything
thatwouldconsideredforboys.IrememberonetimeIwasplayingwithmybrothersaction
figuresandhedecidedtoplaywithme.However,insteadofgrabbingoneofhisactionfigures,
mybrothergrabbedoneofmyBarbies.Atthetime,Iconsidereditnormalbecausewewerejust
kidstryingtohavefununtilmydadwalksin.Mydadgotmadatbothofus,howeverheshowed
moreangertowardsmybrother.Basedonthatexperience,Irealizedthattherearelabelsfor
specificgenderroles.

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AsoftodaymyparentsinteractionwithmybrothersandIarenotthesame.Thereare
timeswhenmyparentswillmakecommentssuchas,YoureagirlsoactlikeagirlbecauseI
dontwanttocookorclean.IgetupsetbecauseitshouldnotmatterifImagirl,aboycancook
andcleanjustthesame.IshouldnothavetoactlikeagirlbecauseIamagirl.Myparents
believewomenaresupposetogetmarried,havechildren,andbehousewives.SinceIamthe
firstoneofmyfamilytogotocollege,theytendtogetworriedaboutmebeingonmyown.
Insteadofaskingmeabouthowcollegeis,theyaskmeDoyoucook?Doyouclean?Youre
supposetodothatbecauseyoureagirl.Ibelieveitisimportanttolearnhowtodothat,but
theyneedtorealizethatcookingandcleaningwontbetheonlythinginmyfuture.
MybrothersgetcommentslikeYoureaboysoactlikeaboyaswellwhentheyre
emotionalordontwanttoplayasport.Thosetypeofcommentscanaffectsomeonebecause
thenonestartstofeelthatoneissupposetoactacertainway.Mydadworriesaboutmylittle
brotherbehavingfeminine.Theresnosuchthingasbehavingfeminine,everyonehas
emotionsandhasdifferenttaste.Hedoesnothavetoplaysportsandbedominantbecause
genderrolesshouldnotbeappliedinthefirstplace.WhenItalktomyparentsaboutit,they
dontexactlytellmethereasontheyreworried.However,Iassumeitsbecauseofreligion,
culture,andsurroundings.
Parentsshouldunderstandachilddoesnothavetoperformacertaingenderrole.Alla
parenthastodoistreattheirchildthesameandnotcareaboutwhatsocietythinks.Ifsociety
seesitaswrong,thenaparentshouldshowthelovetheyhavefortheirchildanddefendwhat
theyredoing.

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WorksCited
Renzetti,Claire.,andCurran,Daniel.
FromWomen,Men,andSociety
.In
ComposingGender
.
Boston,MA:LeasaBurton,2014.
Kane,EmilyW.,
NoWayMyBoysAreGoingtoBeLikeThat:ParentsResponsesto
ChildrensGenderNonconformity
.In
ComposingGender
.Boston,MA:LeasaBurton,
2014.