MANAGING CONFLICT EFFICIENTLY

Submitted by Vi Lan Dao

Salt Lake Community College
COMM 1010-001
October 22nd, 2015

1. Overview
When it comes to communicating skills, both intrapersonal and
interpersonal, there are many aspects that I would like to improve.
As a college student, I find myself involving in lots of conflicts while
doing teamwork, and one of the issues Im currently struggling with
is how to deal with conflict and give criticism effectively. Conflict is a
part of everyday life; it is unavoidable, especially when working in
teams or in big organizations. When efficiently dealt with, conflicts
not only can meet the needs of both parties, but can also increase
collaboration and integration. I like working with people, but Im
often afraid of involving in a dispute or to criticizing somebody else.
Im afraid of hurting other peoples feelings, so most of the time I
avoid conflicts as much as possible. But this is exactly where the
problem lies, as the more I try to avoid it, the more it makes my feel
uncomfortable. Therefore, I decide that I really need to change this
habit. I need to understand that its possible to face conflicts
effectively, and when managed properly, conflicts can actually bring
up benefits.
2. Description of the problem
Conflict is part of everyday life, especially in the workplace, as the
text says: In one study, human resource managers reported
sending up to 60% of their time dealing with employee disputes,
and more than half of the workers said they lost time at work
worrying about past confrontations or fretting about future conflicts
(Communication at work, pg. 125). There are two bad habits I find
myself violating when confronting a conflict: I either avoid or
accommodate. When working in team, I always try to keep a
harmonious and peaceful environment. Im so afraid to deliver
criticism and disagreement that most of the time I choose to stay
silent. My method sometimes works, but most of the time, it
doesnt. The text says: Avoidance may have a short-term benefit
of preventing a confrontation, but there are usually long-term costs,

especially in ongoing relationships (Communication at work, pg.

127). It also says that Accommodating isnt always a good strategy.
In some circumstances, it can be equivalent to appeasement,
sacrificing your principles, and putting harmony above dealing with
important issues (Communication at work, pg. 127). I personally
think these statements are true. Last semester I had to work on a
project for my accounting class with a partner. There was a point
when I disagreed with the method that she used, I wanted to change
but she insisted on keeping it. I think there were some
misunderstandings happening between us too. I knew that method
would affect the accuracy of the calculation, but because I didnt
want to break the harmonious environment, I chose to
accommodate and let her did what she wanted. It made me feel
uncomfortable for a while, and when the professor released the
result, it turned out that my partner was wrong and I was right.
3. Resources and constraints
I believe that there are many resources I can use to seek help. The
textbook is a great source of information that I can follow to improve
my communicating skill. The Internet and workshops also provide
me with good resources. And seeking help from friends is also great.
I have a friend who is very good at leadership skills. I believe she
can help me solve this problem. However, practice is very
important. The only constraint that can limit my improvement is lack
of practice. Its not always possible to have a conflict at hand for me
to practice whenever I want. However, I will try my best to find the
opportunity to practice and learn from past experiences.
4. Recommendation
In order to deal with conflict effectively, I need to learn the skill of
giving criticism and especially making negotiation. Negotiation
occurs when two or more parties-either individuals or groupsdiscuss specific proposals to find a mutually acceptable agreement

(Communication at work, pg. 129). As I read the textbook, I found

out that it gave lots of useful steps and suggestions that I can follow
to improve my conflict management skill. When I consider each step
individually, it is actually not as hard and challenging as I thought it
would be. Therefore, I think that I will analyze and apply these steps
in practice in order to improve myself.
The first step outlined in the text is to clarify interests and needs.
This is indeed very true. I realize that I hardly ask about other
peoples needs when it comes to dealing with conflicts. Its
important to focus on means instead of ends (communication at
work, pg. 132). Instead of trying to avoid or accommodate in the
conflict, I will learn to ask what other people need and identify my
needs as well. I should be focused and polite, I should also open up
myself and not be afraid to ask people directly.
The second step the text recommends is to consider the best time
to raise an issue. Instead of hesitating, I should learn to address the
problem openly and immediately. I should not wait until it gets
awkward to repeat the problem or until I forget about it. Most of the
time when I disagree with someone, I believe that I can just let it go
and forget about it. However, it is often very hard to forget because
my goals are not satisfied. As the result, I always suffer from
discomfort and even hate for a long time. I find it detrimental
because it directly affects my work and my relationship. From now
on, I will learn to address the problem immediately.
The next step is to consider cultural differences. I find this
suggestion very helpful and critical, especially as I am an
international student. There are great social and cultural differences
I have to face when working in teams. Americans appreciate
frankness and directness, while, as an Asian student, I prefer to
address an issue a little bit more indirect and ambiguous, which

sometimes leads to misunderstandings. I will have to adapt myself

and change my communicating styles to close the cultural gap soon,
since now Im living in the US, I have to appreciate their culture.
The fourth step, as listed, is to prepare the statement. The text
suggests thinking about the proper way to express myself as,
practicing your message can help make your point quickly and
clearly, and it will prevent you from blurting out an anger statement
youll regret later (Communication at work, pg. 134). I will learn to
think critically before making any comment. I will try to be polite,
respectful, calm and not to blame other people. I should also
practice to express disagreement. Although its hard because I
never want to hurt peoples feelings, I think I should learn to say
no when necessary.
The next step is to identify the ends both parties are seeking. Again,
its important to know what I want and what my partner want in
order to come up with a feasible solution. In this step, I have to use
my creativity to find a way to meet both needs, not just insisting on
my ideas or giving up my wants right away. I learn that the best way
to achieve integration is to satisfy the needs of both sides.
The final step is to come up with possible solutions and implement
the solutions. After following all the steps above, I now need to use
my creativity to think of the solution and apply it to the conflict. I
need to make sure that the solution is practical, feasible, and meet
the ends of both parties to bring out the best result.
5. Conclusion
I always have a hard time when it comes to dealing with conflicts. I
worry that I might hurt other peoples feelings and become a barrier
if I disagree with them. But now I have learned that managing
conflicts is not as complicated as it sounds and that if dealt with

properly, it can have beneficial results such as increased integration

and harmony. From now, whenever facing conflicts or disputes, I will
apply these step. I will try to find the opportunity to practice as
often as possible. I believe that next time I will feel more confident
when confronting with conflicts.
Work cited
Adler, R & J. Elmhorst. (2010). Communicating at Work (10e).
Boston: McGraw Hill.