Omar Salem

Writing 1103
Professor Blandford
November 8, 2015
Final Essay Draft
Growing up in a Muslim Egyptian family was definitely different than your typical
American family. Asides from the cultural differences, language, and religion and many more
things, one difference that stood out to me the most was the way that children were raised. There
were many differences that I saw in how our parents raised us and how my friends parents raised
them, but one similarity I have always noticed is the way that daughters and sons were treated
differently. Growing up in my family I had certain responsibilities that only I could perform
because I am a man, while my sisters had responsibilities that only they could do because they
are girls. I never really questioned it as a child, I just did it because thats what I was taught to do
and I thought it was the right thing that every other child did. I already knew the way sons were
treated in a family, so for this assignment I decided to focus on the way daughters are treated by
parents and the ways that could affect them in the future. I wanted to answer certain questions
like whether or not religion, culture, and laws could affect the way daughters are treated within
each family. This topic sparked my interest because I grew up the only son in my family and was
curious to find out in what ways my sisters were treated differently by my parents and why they
were treated that way.
The first thing I wanted to find out was whether or not parents favored their sons or
daughters and if so who favored the daughters and why. I found out that according to a poll taken

of 2,000 women with both sons and daughters, mothers tend to favor sons and be more critical of
their daughters. Mothers are more critical of daughters because they feel the natural need to
develop their daughters into the perfect women. This can affect women throughout their early
development and can cause them to carry parental disapproval and negative typing into their
adulthood. (Clark, Laura) Although it has a negative affect it also has a positive one, mothers
show their daughters the way into womanhood and teach them critical skills that they will need
to know down the line. On the other hand, I learned that the majority of fathers tend to favor
their daughters which came as a surprise to me as it was always the other way in my family
growing up. This is because fathers view their daughters as fragile and tend to nurture them and
give them more attention than their sons who they are harsher towards. As a result, daughters
tend to learn how they should be loved by their father. The father plays a huge role in the growth
of the daughter and that he, the first man in her life, shows her what she as a woman should
expect of a real man. This is really important, because it establishes self-worth in the daughter
and gives her an image of what an ideal man should be like. (Like father, like daughter 1)
Another aspect that can affect a daughter is simply where she is born, the region where a
daughter is born can affect the way she is brought up. In the Chinese culture sons are idolized
and the birth of a daughter is dreaded, to be born female comes perilously close to being born
less than human. (Chinese culture 1) This theme is common in Asia and is often seen in many
countries across the continent, women are seen to be inferior to men and thus less valuable. In
India a woman named Rani tells her story of having her first daughter. After returning home from
the hospital, she and her mother-in- law mashed poisonous oleander seeds into oil and forced it
down the infants throat ultimately killing her. Rani then crept to a nearby field and buried her
baby girl into a shallow unmarked grave near a small stream. She talks about how she never felt

any sorrow for killing her daughter, rather saying she felt a lot of bitterness towards her baby
because the gods had not given her son. Although this kind of thing may seem horrific to us, its
a very common thing in India and South East Asia. Each year hundreds and thousands of
newborn girls are murdered by their mothers in India simply because they are females. Some
people believe that sacrificing a daughter guarantees a son in the next pregnancy, and in other
cases families can not afford the dowry that would eventually be demanded for a girls marriage.
Some mothers believe that it is better to kill their own daughters than have them grow up in a
Third World country where they will be discriminated against, and get stricken with sickness,
poverty and drudgery and maybe even sold into prostitution. Being denied education, refused
hospitalization and fed less as children are some of the things daughters in this region face. Once
they mature and become women they are treated like farmhands and baby machines with little to
no value. Sons are valued more because although they will need to be fed and clothed, they will
grow on their own and take care of themselves and wont need a dowry from their parents.
(Chinese Culture 1)
One of the biggest issues for these women is education, girls are withdrawn from school
years before boys so they can remain at home and work the fields, raise younger siblings, and
help with domestic chores. Over 90% of women over the age of 25 are illiterate in Pakistan,
which puts women at a huge disadvantage. (Chinese Culture 3) Asia isnt the only region with
discrimination against women and daughters, Africa also also has discrimination against women.
In countries like Ghana, Nigeria, Tanzania, Uganda, Zambia, and Zimbabwe continue to deny
women equal inheritance to property and wealth and reinforce womens secondary status to men.
(Africa Civil Society 1) Daughters/ women are discriminated across all regions, but in more
developed countries like Europe and the United States the discrimination is less severe. While

daughters face almost certain death in India and China, in more developed countries they face
discrimination such as lower acceptance rate to certain jobs, schools, and less pay than men.
Although the discrimination is not as bad as it is in less developed countries it still a major issue
in the United States. Daughters in developed countries face very little discrimination compared
to those of less developed countries. In developed countries daughters might face discrimination
to their brothers by not being able to stay out as late, or having to do feminine chores such as
cooking or cleaning. Although these discriminations are very little and may seem insignificant
compared to the discrimination in undeveloped countries, they produce a sense of inferiority in
women, and a sense of being secondary to men. Such beliefs lead into the rise of feminism and
other women rights movements.
Religion also plays a big role when it comes to gender roles, discrimination towards
women, and the stereotypes that surround them. The main religions of the world all contain
certain ideas about the appropriate roles for men and women in society, and traditionally, this has
placed women in the home and men in the outside world. (Antje 4) Data shows that Buddhists
and Muslims seem to have less egalitarian gender role attitudes than Jews, Protestants and
Catholics. Islam is one of the most criticized religion for suppressing women, and has many
negative attitudes towards it because of gender inequality. Islam preaches and emphasizes that
man and women, boy and girl, have equal value but have different roles in society. The religion
norm and predominantly gender conservative teachings of the main religions show that people
that belong to a religion are less egalitarian than people that have no religious affiliation.
Individuals that are more religious and strict on gender roles and tend to follow strict religious
rules have a higher probability of being criticized for discrimination towards women. Religion

also has a huge impact on raising children, and has certain rules and guidelines on things that
should be done by daughters or sons and how each should be treated. (Antje 4)
I also conducted some interviews to find out more about my topic on the different ways
daughters are treated in their families. I chose to Interview my sister Nada Salem and one of my
close friends, Christina Shymonyak who both had brothers. I asked them the same questions such
as, who does your mother favor? Is your father more protective over you or your brother? Do
your parents treat you and your brother the same or differently? These are only a few of the
questions that were asked to both of my interviewees. I came to a surprising conclusion, although
they both came from completely different backgrounds and had a pretty significant age
difference, they answered the answers similarly. My sister, Nada Salem, is a 21-year-old Muslim
who was raised in America for 16 years and in Egypt for 5. While my friend Christina is a 16year-old Christian who is originally from the Ukraine but was raised in the U.S her whole life.
Although they come from different backgrounds and were raised differently when asked who
their mother favors and shows more love towards they both said that their mothers had a soft
spot for their brother. When asked if their fathers were more protective over them or their
brothers, both said their fathers were more protective over them and were more lenient on their
brothers. The last question I asked both of them was whether or not they thought their parents
treated both them and their brothers the same and the both said definitely not. My sister Nada
said that although she was the oldest and wisest among us kids my dad would always put me in
charge of her and my other sister sense I was the man. At the same time, she said she felt like
she was inferior to men but says Now I understand that he was trying to install a sense of
responsibility and care for us (my sisters) in you (me). (Salem) Christina said that she always
thought that it was unfair that her brother had more freedom than she did, but she also

understood that her parents were just more protective of their daughters. (Shymonyak) This led
me to conclude that although from different backgrounds, all women tend to face some sort of
discrimination just at different degrees.
I used a lot of articles, websites, videos, blogs, and interviews when gathering
information and doing research on my topic. These types of literacies are the easiest for me to
comprehend and help me understand and develop a stronger knowledge of my topic. As a child I
always hated to read and write, therefore I developed a bad habit of avoiding books and
published papers. This bad habit still carries on today and even when I do research on a topic I
always stay away from books and long articles just because of my literacy experiences as a child.
While doing the research on this topic I realized that most of my sources were by female authors,
which made sense to me as they would have experienced the most discrimination and would be
able to speak intelligently about the topic from experience. This can also lead to a biased opinion
of the topic sense most of the speakers and researchers on it are women, keeping that in mind I
chose my sources carefully and made sure I got the opinions of some male researchers. While
doing my research I began to wonder if men and women would ever be treated equally? And
whether equally meant the same thing as fairly? Doing the research for this paper opened up my
eyes to a topic I never really looked into or knew much about in my past.
Through my research and interviews, I have concluded that parents do treat their sons and
daughters differently and have different expectations for both. Some of the factors that affect the
way daughters are treated in families are Religion, Culture, and parents favoritism. Religion
tends to affect the treatment of daughters by generally referring to them as more indoor and
being under control of a male. Culture can have an affect on the actual worth of the daughter and
depending on the region plays a huge role on how she is raised. Lastly Parents tend to favor one

of their children and this can affect the daughter both positively and negatively depending on the
support and criticism of each. I learned a lot from interviewing and researching about how a
daughter is raised differently from a son and now have a deeper understanding of the problems
and issues it may cause.
Works Cited

"Chinese Cultural Studies: Women in China: Past and Present." Chinese Cultural Studies:
Women in China: Past and Present. Web. 9 Dec. 2015.

"Gender Discrimination." : Why Is It Still so Bad and What Can You Do about It? Web. 9 Dec. 2015.

"Africa: Civil Society Calls for an End to Discrimination Against Women in Traditional Leadership."
AllAfrica.com. 15 Oct. 2014. Web. 9 Dec. 2015.

Roder, Antje. "Gender Role Attitudes of Migrants The Impact of Religion and Origin Country
Context." Web. 9 Dec. 2015.

Salem, Nada. Personal interview. 2 November 2015

Shymonyak, Christina. Personal interview. 2 November 2015