Reflective Revision

Memorandum
Date:

12/11/2015

To:

Elizabeth Benedict, Eng. 219 Professor

From:

Tareq Khweis

Subject: Revision Process

The revision choices I made for the proposal and the recommendation report overall improved
the structure and fluidity of my papers. The revision process went along gradually as I reviewed
the genre conventions and assignment instructions for both the proposal and recommendation
report.
The proposal revision process took some time to figure out. I read through the proposal quite a
bit and I first looked on how the sections of the paper fit together. I reviewed the genre
convention of a proposal in the Technical and Communication Today book to start jumpstart
where I should edit. I began to edit the introduction by expanding on the problem of radioactive
waste, removing other sentences that were in the way, and stressed on the importance of the
waste issue more. Then I moved along to the current situation section and added more evidence
about the incidental events that unfolded at the WIPP site. I also added information into the
project plan section and corrected sentence structure throughout the rest of the entire document. I
mostly revised the content to clarify ideas that were unclear or needed more evidence to further
illustrate a point I was trying to get across. The revisions I made help the document to be more
concise in convincing the audience (which is directed towards the WIPP engineer board) about
the need to accept the proposal of a new facility for radioactive waste. Overall, the revision
process for the proposal went well and I was able to find ways to revise the document the way I
envisioned it to be.
With the recommendation report revision, I carefully reviewed comments about areas of my
paper that needed to be addressed. I examined the structure of my paper and scanned through
these sections, reading them to gain a better understanding of what I needed to do. I decided to
drastically revise the methodology section and I added more information about what I did. I
edited the survey section in phase two by making a table of the questions I asked the classmates
of mine about Louies Rock-N-Reels. I also moved the information in which I observed the store
in detail to the results section because it made more sense there. I clarified my discussion of
results section because it was confusing and I changed my final recommendation to reflect the
new conclusions that I came to. I focused more on the accessibility of the store and how to
improve the entrance to it. These changes I made improved the solutions for the store and made it
more clear what I wanted to accomplish in describing my final recommendation. The audience
can understand the recommendation report with more clarity.
Thank you for an awesome semester in English. I have learned so much and I appreciate it.