Bun 1

Elijah Bun
Dr. Blair
UWRT 1103
26, October, 2015

Mothers are so Poetic

Mothers have it hard. From birth to adulthood mothers are always there for their children
and the connection between Mother and Child is one of the strongest bonds that can ever be
formed. Throughout a childs life, however, there is one infamous age period where this bond is
weakened or even destroyed. Sue Ellen Thomsons poems tend to refer to a mother and her
daughter during this time period and the interaction or lack thereof and how the speaker or
mother tries to understand her daughter. While this can be construed by some to be a sign of
good parenting; I believe that due to her lack of forced interaction, romanticizing of the past,
Silence, and her victimization of herself.
The speaker or Mother, as it seems to be, is becoming increasingly frustrated as she
knows that her child is becoming increasingly distant and rude. I believe that her passive nature
and simply observing of events creates a power shift from the mother to the child. In the poem
Orthodontist Days Sue Ellen writes I felt our distance at its most acute, an empty chair (line
12) which shows that the speaker acknowledges the increasing distance between them but she
makes no interaction or attempt to force communication between mother and daughter. Granted,
the mother and daughter still communicate but not anywhere near the same level that they used
to communicate. In Decorating the Tree the poem describes a Christmas time due to references
to a Christmas tree which is commonly associated as a family activity but in this family
decorating the tree is optional and the daughters choice to not partake of this holiday (line 14)

Bun 2

Elijah Bun
Dr. Blair
UWRT 1103
26, October, 2015

rather than forcing an interaction allows her daughter to become complacent. There is also a line
break in lines 3-4 a few things in her bag and is gone/ for a week; which is used tactfully to
show the mothers absence as the line ends on the word gone. Ending on the word gone shows
why the daughter is behaving this way; she has no mother figure in her life like she used to.
The Mother also spends too much time remembering the past and how her daughter used
to be so kind and loving. The Mother needs to face the truth that things change and her daughter
is becoming and adult and somethings cannot stay the same forever. In the poem The Knowing
the Mother references seventh grade and how she used to read her a book every night. As the
daughter is now in high school this is not an impossibility and the Mother needs to understand
that her daughter is becoming an adult and needs to learn responsibility on her own rather than
her mother trying to coddle her. The daughter is not free of blame either as her rude attitude and
demeanor are causing her mother to be worried as well which creates a feedback loop where
mother and daughter are both sad and confused in the world. The mother is in a state of mind that
kids will be kids and by spoiling her daughter by allowing her to have everything she wants and
giving her independence makes the daughter actually all the more lonelier as there is no one in
her family that she connects to anymore.
Silence also plays a big role in the poems as it seems to be a common motif in each of the
poems. In Orthodontist Days the speaker says that silence bears us onward (line 19), using
silence to carry on through the days means little to no interaction between mother and daughter

Bun 3

Elijah Bun
Dr. Blair
UWRT 1103
26, October, 2015

as deep conversation or even basic understanding cannot occur without communication and
silence is the absence of communication. A conversation is done with two people and while the
daughter may be unresponsive now attempting to converse even if it is small talk is proven to
create a bond- even if it is a tiny bond. In The Knowing the daughter raises the volume of the
stereo in order to drown out the mother, which is a sign of weakness on the mothers part but
more importantly- shows that the mother just accepts the lack of communication and doesnt try
to turn down the volume and have a conversation. Communication is key if two people wish to
understand each other and to some extent, love each other.
Throughout all of Sue Ellen Thompsons poems the mother seems to be victimizing
herself rather than being a strong independent woman that a growing girl needs as a role model.
In Magnolia when the speaker says and eager to be done with me, the tree began / to fail.
(lines 10-11) she speaks in a hopeless tone of voice that its impossible to rebuild the tree- this
attitude of accepting failure and accepting of being a victim is not the role model that he
daughter needs in her time of confusion that being an young adult is. The symbolism by
comparing her daughter to the tree is impactful on the readers because it shows that the daughter
is also suffering due to her mothers negligence. For example if a tree dies, do we blame the tree?
Or rather do we blame the gardener, who is the guardian of the tree and is supposed to raise the
tree and protect it from harm?

Bun 4

Elijah Bun
Dr. Blair
UWRT 1103
26, October, 2015

Motherhood is more than simply loving your children. It is the epitome of understanding
and nurturing while also somewhat juxtaposed as a concept because motherhood entails
discipline and strength. Mothers are seen in popular culture as forces of true power and the bond
between mother and child is even stronger than some marriages. Even fully grown men fear
mothers and their protective nature of their children. This strength that mothers possess is what
children look up to and what allows children to build respect, fear, and love for their mothers.
The speaker in the poem certainly loves her daughter with all her heart but she is lacking the
mothers complex that makes her aggressive and a force to be reckoned with that which truly
defines good mothers as it shows that they care to the point of almost madness, which ironically
is a good thing. In this set of poems the mother makes many mistakes in raising her daughter,
which may define her as a terrible mother, but while she may be bad at the act of mothering this
doesnt mean she is a bad mom. It is apparent that this speaker loves her daughter but she is just
confused on why her daughter is behaving this way and how she can help her daughter, who
seems to be in distress about something. While the speaker in these poems may be a mom, in the
sense that she loves her kids, the speaker is not a mother; which is a nurturing, disciplined, and
insightful role model that every child needs in his/her life.