Riya parikh

Eng 101
December 7th , 2015
Riya The idea is good; your paper falls short on the use of researched material.
You may want to consider revising this if you havent started on another essay. See
me on Friday.
Heart disease 89/136

According to the American Heart Associates Center in 2008, due heart disease deaths
represented 30 percent of all global deaths, with 80 percent of those deaths taking place in lowand middle-income countries. Nearly 787,000 people in the U.S. died from heart disease, stroke
and other cardiovascular diseases in 2011. Thats about one of every three death in America.
Heart diseases claim more life than cancer does. Overall costs of heart diseases and stroke adds
up to $320.1 billion or more than that. This includes health expenditures and lost productivity.
Almost around half of all African-American adults have some form of cardiovascular disease, 48
percent of women and 46 percent of men (American strokes Associates). Specially men and
women between age of 30-70 years gets reported as a heart disease patients. Womens have
higher amount of ratio in compare with mens because of more emotional and physical stress.
Heart disease is a very serious problem in 21st century, even though after lot of problems related
to heart disease there are solutions to that prevents people from becoming a victim of heart
diseases.
Most times the heart disease tend to build up since years before people gets it .There are
different reasons to get heart disease such as it can be hereditary problem, it can also be caused
due to the damage of arteries or blockage which causes heart attacks and stroke. This builds up
depending on the reasons such as peoples eating habits , depending on how physically active

they are, how much they weigh or how well they manage their stress level. The expert MD from
University of John Hopkins Seth Martin says that these basics of a heart-healthy life are as easy
as ABCDE: Assessing your risk, Blood pressure control, Cigarette cessation and Cholesterol
control, Diabetes treatment and Diet optimization, and Exercise. The goal is to reduce the
overall risk of heart disease and disease related to that.
Basic heart disease leading problem for humans is smoking regularly, high level
of cholesterol, obesity and no physical activities. About 43 percent of Americans have total
cholesterol higher of 200 mg/dL or higher. Some solutions is taken by government in order to
decrease the rate of heart disease among citizens of U.S. Solution plans for heart disease
can be done by giving health related education that focuses on prevention and
healthy lifestyle choices, medical services that provide the most effective drugs and
therapies without paying a lot of money and environmental policies work sites, and
communities that promote good nutrition, regular physical activity, and also setting
up boot camps . Research published in the journal circulation in 2011 found that improved

fitness over a six-year study period was associated with a 19 percent decreased risk of heart
disease and stroke-related deaths in menand a 15 percent lower risk of death from any cause.
According to the NIH even though the risk associated with the heart disease has
increased tremendously since 2010 to 2015, the statistics shows that there has been some
decrease in the rate of heart disease because now a days all the diseases can be easily detected in
earlier age and precautions can be taken to remove risks by doing exercise for 60 minutes every
day, by quitting smoking, by performing yoga, doing regular body checkups, and reducing
obesity. In 2010 the overall percent of heart rate were below all time in compare to 1900s ( NIH).
People who are economically challenged can also take part in reduction of heart disease

programs because government along with lots of donation franchises contributes heavy amount
fairly enough for everyone to become part of the camp. In 2012, NIHs Fogarty International
Center awarded $14 million to 15 research institutions to fund training in research areas
related to NCDs in developing countries to prevent heart disease.
There are lots of ways to take implementations for preventing heart disease.
All people need to do is take some time out of their busy schedule and workout everyday for
at least 30 minutes, they can also perform yoga which decreases the stress and controls the
blood pressure and releases good hormones. Whenever people feel stressed out all they
have to do is maintain good healthy diet when needed and quit smoking and alcohol
consuming regularly. This process is not expensive or mentally challenging to perform. All
they costs is a pen or a reminder in phones to get everyone on track. It only benefits and not
affect negatively to anyone and also that this procedure does not cost thousands of dollars .

Work cited :
Heart disease and stroke statistics 2015 update: a report from the
American Heart Association [published online ahead of print December 17, 2014].
Rose Marie Robertson, American Heart Associates/ American Stroke
Associates 2010 update : publishes online ahead of print .

Seth Martin , Johns Hopkins Medicines , Baltimore MD , February 2006

ENGL 101
M. McCampbell
Fall 2015

ESSAY 4 - PROPOSAL
SCORING RUBRIC

Topic
Introduction
0 15
points >13
good
details; the
citing is a
little weak.

Thesis
0 10
points>7
pretty flat
you should
have used
the ABCDE
reference.
Analyze
solution and
how to
implement it
0 15
points>10
some good
ideas about
reducing
stress. The
implementa
tion is not
well
developed
it almost
seems like
an

Does not meet C

0 7 points
States the
problem; vague
reference to
solution.

Meets C standard
8 - 12 points

0 4 points
Identifies the
solution; flat
statement about
the solution.

5 7 points

0 7 points
Flat statement of
how solution will
address problem
Does not include
affected group
Does not describe
the process of
implementation.

8 - 12 points

State the problem,

situation or enterprise;
support your reasoning
with researched
information to show
how there is a problem,
a needy situation or a
worth enterprise.

Identify the solution,

judges it, and shows its
relationship to the
problem, situation or
enterprise .

How it should address

the problem or fix it. At
least one verifiable
statistic or examples or
detail and cite it
Shows how affected
group will benefit(or
not)
Describes the process,
costs and materials for
implementation

Exceeds C paper
13 15 POINTS
States the problem;
clear background;
clearly shows who
/what is affected;
comments about
available initiatives;
Specific appeal to the
audience.

8 10 points
Cites reasons for the
solution.

13 15 POINTS
Provides several
specific
examples/statistics/d
etails how solution
will address the
problem.
Gives specific
examples/evidence of
how the affected
group will benefit(or
not)
Clearly explains
implementation, cost,
materials and other
relevant detail.

afterthough
t.
Evaluate the
solution
0 15
points>10

Conclusion
05
points>3

0 7 points
Reports on
outcomes
Not
recommendation
Does not address
the affected
group or the
feasibility/practic
ality

8 - 12 points

0 2 point

3 4 points

5 points

Flatly summary of
problem, solution,
and whether is it
acceptable or not.
Brings up a new
subject.

Restates the final

judgment and connects
with the problem and
how well the solution
will work.

Refers to topics
brought up in the
intro; indicates the
degree of challenge
the problem poses
and how the solution
can address it.

In-Text Citations
0 -10 points>3 you
overlooked many
statements that needed to
be cited.
Work Cited Entries
0 -5 points>2

Quality of sources
0 -5 points>2 hard to tell
because the format is not
correct.

Paragraph Structure
0 -10 points>8

Clearly stated judgment

of solution
Projects effectiveness
and impact on affected
group
Comments on the
practicality/feasibility of
the implementation
Support with researched
evidence.

0 4 points
Material is not cited
correctly or
appropriately at least
three times; does not
follow MLA format.
0 2 point
MLA format is
haphazardly followed;
entries are not
alphabetized; uses URL
instead of citation.
Sources include
questionable credibility
or are personal sites

0 4 points
One or two topic
sentences missing;
Paragraphs lack unity

5 7 points
Most material is
correctly and
appropriately cited;
MLA format is
correct
3 4 points
Three sources are
on Work Cited list;
list is mostly
correct; all entries
are alphabetized
Sources are
relevant and
credible; some
sources are not
clarified in the
essay.
5 7 points
Clearly stated topic
sentences;
Paragraphs clearly

13 15 POINTS
Comments on the
quality of the solution
and supports with
specific evidence
Comments on the
level of
feasibility/practicality
of the solution
Gives specific
details/examples.

8 10 points
All material is correctly
and appropriately cited;
follows MLA format
without errors
5 points
All work cited entries are
correct.

All sources are relevant

and credible and clearly
identified in the essay

8 10 points
Topic sentences are
specifically worded and
link thesis and all

Coherence
0 -10 points>8

Paragraph not related

to topic;
Organization does not
follow a clear pattern;
Abrupt changes;

Diction
0 -10 points>6 some very
confusing sentences.

Wording is vague;
Words are confused
with other meanings
Grammatical
conventions are
infracted;
Uses second pers prn;

Errors (prorated / 500 words)-4/1.5=-3=17

TOTAL POINTS___>________89_/130

related to thesis
Paragraphs
arranged in logical
order;
Ideas follow logical
development
Employs transitions
when necessary
Uses appropriate
pronouns;
Avoids redundant
wording;
Uses words
correctly
Avoids slang and
worn out cliches

supporting material
Transitions move ideas
clearly throughout essay;
Ideas build on each
other to emphasize
thesis
Writers voice is clear
and authoritative;
Employs specific words;
employs active voice
and specific verbs;
Wording is concise