MoniqueCarter

Eng101
December7,2015

MoniqueYoumakeaacompellingcaseforearlydetectionofcancerthroughscreening.Your
explanationofthehighcostsoftreatingcancerworkswellasadeterrenttoprocrastination.
Theweaknessofthisessayisnotcitingthedetailsinthetextcorrectlyandapoorproofreading
job.
MoneyChangesEverything2.0
107/130
Cancerisagroupofdiseasescharacterizedbyuncontrolledgrowthandspreadof
abnormalcells.Ifthespreadisnotcontrolled,itcanresultindeath(TheThomaraLatimer
CancerFoundation).Thetroublesofcancerisbecomingmoreandmoresignificantglobally.
AccordingtoTheNationalCancerInstitute,therearefourhundredandfiftyeightthousandnew
casesofcancerbeingdetectedinbothmenandwomenperyear.Ofcoursethatlargenumber
soundsscary,buthasanyoneeverthoughtabouttheundetectedcancercases?Itistruethat
mostcancercasesarentdetecteduntilitistoolatefortheproblemtobesolved.Thereare
severalwaystochangethisproblem.Onecouldbedietinganothercouldbeexercisingdaily,
butonesolutionthatcouldprobablyimprovethissituationiscancerscreeningsateveryyearly
physicalexamination.Cancerscreeningshouldbeapartofeverymanandwomanyearly
physicalexamsothatifheorshedoeshavecancer,thescreeningcouldsavehisorherlifeby
catchingthecancerearlyenoughregardlessofthecostofcancerscreening,apricetagcannot
beputonanyoneslife.
Cancerhasbecomeoneoftheworldslargestproblems.Thisyearabout564,800
Americansareexpectedtodieofcancermorethan1,500peopleaday.Canceristhesecond
leadingcauseofdeathintheUS,exceededonlybyheartdisease.Oneofeveryfourdeathsin

MoniqueCarter
Eng101
December7,2015

theUSisfromcancer(TheThomaraLatimerCancerFoundation).Itseemsasifcanceris
becomingmoreandmorecommoneveryday,almostlikeitisthecommoncold.Buthowdoesa
personknowiftheyhavecancer?Aretheresymptoms?Mostcasesofcancerarenotdetected
untilitistoolatetoreversetheproblem.AfterresearchwasconductedattheStanford
UniversitySchoolofMedicine,researchersfoundnewevidencethatsupportsthefactthat
cancroustumorsmaygrowundectectedforuptodecadeorlonger.Formosttypesofcancers,
exceptforskin,theyarediscoveredeitherwhentumorsarestartingtoshowsymptomsorgrow
largelyenoughtobecomevisibleonXraysorMRIs.Butbythistime,thecanceristothe
pointthatitistoodifficulttotreatandmostlikelyithasspreadthroughouttheentirebody.Last
year,prescriptiondrugspendingincreasedincredibliyandcancerdrugswerethemainreason
forit.OutofthethreehundredandseventyfourbilliondollarsAmericansspendonprescribed
drugsthroughout2014,thritytwobilliondollarswasspentononcologydrugs,anothereleven
billionsdollarswerespentoncaretreatmentsthathelpwiththesideeefectsofthestrong
chemothearpydrugs.Cancerdrugswerenotthemostprescribed,itwasjustthefactthatthe
drugsareveryexpensive.Cancerdrugsthatarenewandapprovedcostonaveragebaoutten
thousanddollarspermonth,butdrugsarenottheonlyexpense.Patientswillalsohavetopay
fordrugsthatreducewiththepainfulsideeffectsofthechemotherapy,payforfacility/hospital
feesandusuallyloseincomebecauseofthemissedtimefromwork.Facilityfeesaresucha
burdenforthepatientandhisorherfamily.AsstatedbytheUnitedHealthCaredata,hospital
andoutpatientfacilitiesgetfiftyfourpercentofthecostanddoctorsgettwentytwopercentof
thecost.Itisjustsocrazyhowexpensiveeverythingcostwhenitcomestosavingthelivsof
peoplesufferingfromcancer.Unlessapersonisrich,cancerbecomestheirdeathsentence

MoniqueCarter
Eng101
December7,2015

becausetheaveragepersondoesnotmakeenoughtocovertheexpensivecostofdrugsand
radiology.
Thepurposeofcancerscreeningistocheckforcancerand/orconditionsthatmay
becomecancerinpeoplewhoshownosymptomsofcancer.Screeningisusedtohelpdoctors
findandtreatcancerearlybecausewhencanceroustissuesarefoundearlyenough,itbecomes
easiertotreat.Bythetimesymptomsshow,thecancerhasalreadyspreadthroughoutthebody
andthatmakesithardertotreat.Mosttestofthecancerscreeningshavebeenshowntodetect
cancerearlyandreducedchancesofdyingfromcancer.Likeanythingchanceintheworld,
therearealwaysrisksinvolved.Somecancerscreeningstestmaycausebleedingandother
healthproblems,mayresultinfalsepositiveresultsandfalsenegativeresults,and/orthechance
ofovertreatment(thatiswhenascreeningtestshowsthatapersondoeshavecancer,butthe
cancerisslowlygrowingandwouldnothavethreatenedthatpersonslife).Itshouldalsobe
knownthatthereisnotageneralscreeningforcancer.Thereareovertwohundreddifferent
typesofcancerandthereisahandfulofscreeningtestofspecificcancers.Thecostofcancer
screeningtestvaries,thereisnospecificpriceofit,butbecauseofthetechnology,medication
andtimethatitinvolves,morethanlikelyitisthesamepriceormorethanchemotherapy,a
cancertreatmentthatusesstrongdrugstodestroyorslowthegrowthoffastspreading
cancerouscells(Nicastro),whichrangesbetweententhousanddollarsandnineteenthousand
dollars.Thepricesvarybecausethecostalldependsonwhichkindofcancerapersonhas,the
drugsthatwillbeusedtotreatit,whereapersonistreated,whetherornotinsurancecoversit,
andhowlongapersonneedstobetreated.Althoughtherearealotofcons,thereisoneprothat
outweighseverythingelse,savingaperson'slife.

MoniqueCarter
Eng101
December7,2015

Cancerhasbecomeoneoftheworldstoughestfights.Althoughacancerscreeningtest
couldrangefromdifferentprices,itwouldbeworththecost,riskandotherdifferentfactors
becauseinthelongterm,itcouldsaveaperson'slife.Everydayanotherpersonwillbe
diagnosedwithcancer,butthinkaboutalloftheotherundiagnosedcases.Peopleareoutliving
theirlivesnotknowingtheyareslowly,butsurelydying.Dependingonapersonsfamily
historywithcancer,ascreeningtestforthatparticularcancershouldbeconductedateveryones
yearlyphysicalexamination,itcouldsavesomeoneslife.

WorksCited

Goodsources!

CancerFacts(ProducedfromAmericanCancerSociety).
ThomaraLatimerCancer
Foundation.
ThomaraLatimerCancerFoundation.Web.07December2015.
CancerMayGrowUndetectedforaDecadeorMore.
TheAngiogenesisFoundation.
The
AngiogenesisFoundation.2015.Web.07December2015.
CancerScreening.
NationalCancerInstitute.
NationalInstituteofHealth.2015.Web.07
December2015.
Glover,Lacie.OncologistWorryAboutRisingCostsofCancerTreatments.
U.S.News&
WorldReport.

U.S.News&WorldReport.
2015.Web.07December2015.
Nicastro,Steve.HowMuchDoesChemotherapyCost?.
NerdWallet.
NerdWallet.17
September2014.Web.07December2015.

MoniqueCarter
Eng101
December7,2015

SEERStatFactSheets:AllCancerSites.
TheNationalCancerInstitute.
TheSurveillance,
Epidemiology,andEndResultsProgram.Web.07December2015.
ENGL101
M.McCampbell
Fall2015

ESSAY4PROPOSAL
SCORINGRUBRIC

Topic

Introduction
0 15 points
>15

Thesis
0 10
points
>10

Analyze
solution and
how to
implement it
0 15
points
>13
You did this
kind of
backwards
by focusing
more on the
dramatic
repercussion
s of not
having early
screening.

Does not meet C

0 7 points
States the problem;
vague reference to
solution.

Meets C standard
8 - 12 points

0 4 points
Identifies the
solution; flat
statement about the
solution.

5 7 points

0 7 points
Flat statement of
how solution will
address problem
Does not include
affected group
Does not describe
the process of
implementation.

8 - 12 points

State the problem, situation or

enterprise; support your
reasoning with researched
information to show how there
is a problem, a needy situation
or a worth enterprise.

Identify the solution, judges it,

and shows its relationship to
the problem, situation or
enterprise .

How it should address the

problem or fix it. At least one
verifiable statistic or examples
or detail and cite it
Shows how affected group will
benefit(or not)
Describes the process, costs and
materials for implementation

Exceeds C paper
13 15 POINTS
States the problem; clear
background; clearly shows
who /what is affected;
comments about available
initiatives; Specific appeal
to the audience.

8 10 points
Cites reasons for the
solution
.

13 15 POINTS
Provides several specific
examples/statistics/details
how solution will address
the problem.
Gives specific
examples/evidence of how
the affected group will
benefit(or not)
Clearly explains
implementation, cost,
materials and other
relevant detail
.

MoniqueCarter
Eng101
December7,2015

Evaluate the
solution
0 15
points
>10
more details
on cost and
how to get
people
screened.

Conclusion
05
points
>5

0 7 points
Reports on
outcomes
Not
recommendation
Does not address the
affected group or
the
feasibility/practicalit
y

8 - 12 points

02point

34points

5points

Flatly summary of
problem, solution,
and whether is it
acceptable or not.
Brings up a new
subject.

Restates the final judgment and

connects with the problem and
how well the solution will work.

Refers to topics brought up

in the intro; indicates the
degree of challenge the
problem poses and how
the solution can address it.

InTextCitations
010points
>3You
needtogetabetter
understandingofthe
intextcitations.

WorkCitedEntries
05points
>5

Qualityofsources
05points
>3

Clearly stated judgment of

solution
Projects effectiveness and
impact on affected group
Comments on the
practicality/feasibility of the
implementation
Support with researched
evidence.

0 4 points
Materialisnotcited
correctlyor
appropriatelyatleast
threetimesdoesnot
followMLAformat.
02point
MLAformatis
haphazardlyfollowed
entriesarenot
alphabetizedusesURL
insteadofcitation.
Sourcesinclude
questionablecredibility
orarepersonalsites

ParagraphStructure
010points
>10

0 4 points
Oneortwotopic
sentencesmissing
Paragraphslackunity

Coherence
010points
>9

Paragraphnotrelated
totopic
Organizationdoesnot
followaclearpattern
Abruptchanges

13 15 POINTS
Comments on the quality
of the solution and
supports with specific
evidence
Comments on the level of
feasibility/practicality of
the solution
Gives specific
details/examples.

5 7 points
Mostmaterialis
correctlyand
appropriatelycited
MLAformatiscorrect

8 10 points
Allmaterialiscorrectly
andappropriatelycited
followsMLAformat
withouterrors

34points
Threesourcesareon
WorkCitedlistlistis
mostlycorrectall
entriesarealphabetized

5points
Allworkcitedentriesare
correct.

Sourcesarerelevant
andcrediblesome
sourcesarenotclarified
intheessay
.
5 7 points
Clearlystatedtopic
sentences
Paragraphsclearly
relatedtothesis
Paragraphsarrangedin
logicalorder
Ideasfollowlogical
development
Employstransitions
whennecessary

Allsourcesarerelevant
andcredibleandclearly
identifiedintheessay
8 10 points
Topicsentencesare
specificallywordedand
linkthesisandall
supportingmaterial
Transitionsmoveideas
clearlythroughout
essay
Ideasbuildoneach
othertoemphasize
thesis

MoniqueCarter
Eng101
December7,2015
Diction
010points
>9

Wordingisvague
Wordsareconfused
withothermeanings
Grammatical
conventionsare
infracted
Usessecondpersprn

Usesappropriate
pronouns
Avoidsredundant
wording
Useswordscorrectly
Avoidsslangandworn
outcliches

Errors(prorated/500words)
Poorproofreading!11+/2=5=15

TOTALPOINTS___
>
_________/130

Writersvoiceisclear
andauthoritative
Employsspecificwords
employsactivevoice
andspecificverbs
Wordingisconcise