Managing Sentence Content

Instructions, Sentences 1-8 : Make these sentences more readable by breaking them up or
restructuring them.
1. Records were set Wednesday by both the New York Stock Exchange
Composite Index, which closed at 8,001.40, up 27.08 points, topping its
previous high of 7,986.50, and Standard & Poors 500 Index, which finished
at 1,264.03, up 6.90, moving up significantly and also setting a five-day
high.






2. Reserving this property requires a $500 security deposit, which will be
refunded unless there is damage to the property or evidence that there has
been smoking in the cottage or a pet on the premises or if the reservation
is canceled within one month prior to the rental period.





3. The Consumer Education Committee is assigned the duties of keeping
informed of the qualities of all consumer goods and services, especially of
their strengths and shortcomings, of gathering all pertinent information on
dealers sales practices, with emphasis on practices involving honest and
reasonable fairness, and of publicizing any of the information collected
that may be helpful in educating the consumer.






4. The upswing in business activity that began in 2012 is expected to
continue and possibly accelerate in 2013, and gross domestic product
should rise by $542 billion, representing a 4 percent increase, which is
significantly higher than the modest 1 percent increase of 2011.





5. As you will not get this part of Medicare automatically, even if you are
covered by Social Security, you must sign up for it and pay $88.50 per
month, which the government will match, if you want your physicians bills
to be covered.

6. Given our discussion yesterday, I have decided that you may choose either
to take the final exam or to have the paper for which you received your
highest grade count as an additional 15 percent of your course grade, but
you must let me know in writing by May 15 which option you prefer.

7. Although we have not definitely determined the causes for the decline in
sales volume for the month, we know that during this period construction
on the street adjacent to the store severely limited traffic flow and that
because of resignations in the advertising department promotion efforts
dropped well below normal.




8. Instructions: Assume that you are the assistant manager of a hotel and are
describing your hotels meeting room to a prospective customer who is
thinking of holding a seminar there. Turn the following pieces of
information into coherent writing, inserting paragraph breaks where you
think appropriate. Be ready to explain why you grouped the information
and managed the emphasis the way you did. You may need to add some
words or information to make the facts flow smoothly.

We have a meeting room.
It will be available on the date you request.
It can seat 100 people.
The seating can be arranged to your specifications.
It is quiet.
It is on the ground floor.
It is not near the guest rooms.
The lounge has live music on occasion.
The lounge is at the opposite end of the hotel from the meeting room.
The meeting room has a lectern.
It has a projector.
It has a screen.
It has a laptop hookup.
We can rent additional equipment.
We can rent it at no charge to you.
The charge for the room is $300.
This is the charge for one day.

Making Sentences Economical

Instructions: Sentences 9-36: Revise the following sentences for more economical wording.
9. In view of the fact that we financed the experiment, we were entitled to some of the
profit.

10. We should see the prime lending rate increase in the near future.
11. I will talk to him with regard to the new policy.
12. The candidates who were the wealthiest won the election.
13. There are many obligations that we must meet.
14. We purchased gloves that are lined with wool.
15. Mary is of the conviction that service has improved.
16. Sales can be detected to have improved over last year.
17. It is essential that we take the actions that are necessary to correct the problem.
18. The chairperson is engaged in the activities of preparing the program.
19. Martin is engaged in the process of revising the application.
20. You should study all new innovations in your field.
21. In all probability, we are likely to suffer a loss this quarter.
22. The job requires a minimum of at least three years of experience.
23. In spite of the fact that they hadn't paid their previous bill, they placed another order.
24. We expect to deliver the goods in the event that we receive the money.
25. In accordance with their plans, company officials sold the machinery.

26. This policy exists for the purpose of preventing dishonesty.

27. The salespeople who were the most successful received the best rewards.
28. The reader will note that this area ranks in the top 5 percent in per capita income.
29. Our new coats are made of a fabric that is of the wrinkle-resistant variety.
30. Our office is charged with the task of counting supplies not used in production.
31. Losses caused by the strike exceeded the amount of $640,000.
32. This condition can be assumed to be critical.
33. Our goal is to effect a change concerning the overtime pay rate.
34. Mr. Wilson replaced the old antiquated machinery with new machinery.
35. We must keep this confidential information from being shared with others.
36. The consensus of opinion of this group is that Wellington was wrong.

Wording Sentences Logically

Instructions, Sentences 37-58: Revise the following to eliminate illogical and awkward
wording.
37. Because the Swift Company has a service-oriented culture is the reason it
supports all forms of volunteerism.
38. On the night of your party, we experienced a rare occurrence with our seafood
supplier canceling at the last minute.
39. Our staff is among the best as we strive for the highest level of customer service.
40. Thank you for your feedback that will help us continue to improve.
41. The meeting room you have reserved has a projector, Internet access, and will enable
your attendees to hear the trainer easily.

42. As a five-star hotel, our guests satisfaction is our top priority.

43. Upon review of the facts, the problem was a short in the wiring.
44. This streamlined process will save us so much money.
45. Depending on how you make your request will determine how the reader will respond..
46. On behalf of the management team, I appreciate your extra work on the project.
47. We need to know how many will attend, and please indicate their choice of entre.
48. During tomorrows staff meeting we will discuss our progress on the new ad campaign
and how well the installation of the new software is going.
49. As far as phone call monitoring, I believe we should try other methods first.
50. Through our research of three local charities we feel that each one would make a
good sponsor.

51. Each department will now be able to update your section of the website.
52. It is such a worthy cause, but I fear this nonprofit's website will not attract many
donations.

53. After reviewing the organizations bylaws, I found that they needed to be revised and
updated.

54. This is an important message, but by placing it in a long paragraph, it is unlikely that
many people will read it.

55. As a 501(c) (3) organization, donations are tax deductible.

56. The main reason his report was late was because his email account was hacked
yesterday.
57. After talking to our user testers, it is clear that we need to revise the device.
58. You can volunteer to help with publicity, set up, clean up, or you can bring
refreshments.

Managing Paragraph Focus

Instructions, Rewrite the following paragraphs in two ways to show different placement of the
topic sentence and variations in emphasis of contents. Point out the differences in meaning in
each of your paragraphs. (Of course, a number of possible arrangements exist for each
problem. Thus, the following solutions are only suggestions.)
59. Jennifer has a good knowledge of office procedures. She works hard. She
has performed her job well. She is pleasant most of the time, but she has a
bad temper, which has led to many personal problems with the work
group. I cannot recommend her for promotion. I approve a 10 percent
raise for her.














60. Last year our sales increased 7 percent in California and 9 percent in
Arizona. Nevada had the highest increase with 14 percent. Although all
states in the western region enjoyed increases, Oregon recorded only a 2
percent gain. Sales in Washington increased 3 percent.



61. I majored in marketing at Darden University and received a B.S. degree
in 2009. Among the marketing courses I took were marketing strategy,
promotion, marketing research, marketing management, and consumer
behavior. Included, also, was a one-semester internship in retailing with
Macys Department Stores.

















62. Our records show that Penn motors cost more than Oslo motors. The
Penns have less breakdown time. They cost more to repair. The longer
working life offsets Penns cost disadvantage. So does its better record
for breakdown.












63. Recently China ordered a large quantity of wheat from the United
States. Likewise, Germany ordered a large quantity. Increased demand
by Eastern European countries also contributed to the improved
outlook for wheat farming.