1

00:00:00,012 --> 00:00:03,662

Giving 15,000 of our money
away without telling me is lying.

2
00:00:03,663 --> 00:00:06,104
I wanted to help your brother, not mine,

3
00:00:06,105 --> 00:00:07,961
to keep a roof over his family's head.

4
00:00:07,962 --> 00:00:09,495
Catherine dumped me,

5
00:00:09,496 --> 00:00:12,295
so I really want her to
think I'm, like, "in danger".

6
00:00:12,296 --> 00:00:13,747
That's what this is all about.

7
00:00:13,748 --> 00:00:15,089
If I wasn't married...

8
00:00:15,090 --> 00:00:18,015
If my marriage were in slightly
worse shape, I would totally...

9
00:00:18,016 --> 00:00:20,276
Olivia's made a rather
serious complaint against you.

10
00:00:20,277 --> 00:00:21,739
She no longer feels comfortable

11
00:00:21,740 --> 00:00:24,439
- working in the same environment as you.
- What?

12
00:00:24,440 --> 00:00:27,428
- Earlier today... (He snorts)

- (She chuckles)

13
00:00:28,496 --> 00:00:30,081
Do you want to put the baby down?

14
00:00:30,814 --> 00:00:32,014
(Baby gurgles)

15
00:00:32,976 --> 00:00:34,593
(Horn beeps)

16
00:00:36,392 --> 00:00:38,271
Hey, man! Terrific! *

17
00:00:38,616 --> 00:00:39,980
Oh, I'm not high.

18
00:00:39,981 --> 00:00:42,270
Great. Ah, you mind if I
put these in the back seat?

19
00:00:42,271 --> 00:00:44,047
Go ahead. Oh, y-you know what?

20
00:00:44,048 --> 00:00:46,422
I-I fucked a plus size
model back there last night.

21
00:00:46,423 --> 00:00:49,438
I'm going to be honest with
you, it was a bit of a mess.

22
00:00:52,816 --> 00:00:56,126
Just like that, like... like
it was nothing, like, I don't...

23
00:00:57,056 --> 00:00:58,386
This is crazy.

24
00:00:58,495 --> 00:01:00,478

I don't want to talk about

it in front of Melissa.

25
00:01:00,479 --> 00:01:02,537
- OK, Melissa, could you give us a minute?
- Sure...

26
00:01:02,538 --> 00:01:05,410
And don't call me as a character
witness in your sexual harassment trial,

27
00:01:05,411 --> 00:01:07,429
because I don't feel I could
be very helpful, right now.

28
00:01:07,430 --> 00:01:10,408
Uh, Melissa, just to get you up
to speed, here, there's no trial.

29
00:01:10,409 --> 00:01:12,922
- Don't talk to Melissa.

- OK, I see you're not interested in

30
00:01:12,923 --> 00:01:14,627
sane dialogue, so I'm going to go.

31
00:01:14,628 --> 00:01:16,031
But we at least need to arrange a time

32
00:01:16,032 --> 00:01:17,305
- where I can...
- You can e-mail me.

33
00:01:17,306 --> 00:01:20,521
- OK, uh, so w-when...?
- Just e-mail me.

34
00:01:21,170 --> 00:01:22,415
OK.

35
00:01:22,416 --> 00:01:26,642

Is your e-mail address still

ImpatientShithead@Mean.jerk?

36
00:01:26,643 --> 00:01:28,414
Yeah. Yeah, it is.

37
00:01:29,703 --> 00:01:33,884
Is yours still FatIdiot@BadBreath.cunt?

38
00:01:33,922 --> 00:01:36,319
- I don't have bad breath.
- Yeah, you do.

39
00:01:36,320 --> 00:01:37,922
Melissa, does he have bad breath?

40
00:01:38,249 --> 00:01:39,967
It's just too much coffee, I think.

41
00:01:39,968 --> 00:01:42,792

It's not like halitosis. You

just need to drink more water.

42
00:01:45,216 --> 00:01:47,761
Can you drive? I'm
legitimately afraid of her.

43
00:01:47,762 --> 00:01:50,535
I looked in her eyes back there
and there's, like, nothing to lose.

44
00:01:50,536 --> 00:01:53,455
"Dot cunt". (He laughs) That's awesome.

45
00:01:53,456 --> 00:01:57,456
Is that an actual domain name?
Because if it is, I will buy that.

46
00:02:00,043 --> 00:02:02,262
Sync & corrections by <font color="#d61dfc">PetaG</font>
- www.addic7ed.com -

47
00:02:03,694 --> 00:02:06,653
I think this neighbourhood could
suit us. Smaller houses, too.

48
00:02:06,654 --> 00:02:08,261
Our house is just too big and showy.

49
00:02:08,262 --> 00:02:09,615
- Do you know what I mean?
- Yeah.

50
00:02:09,616 --> 00:02:11,415
- Yeah, you have to keep it real.
- Exactly.

51
00:02:11,607 --> 00:02:14,154
That was a Vietnamese restaurant
till it shut down last week.

52

00:02:14,155 --> 00:02:16,356

Who knows what they'll put
there next. Could be anything.

53
00:02:16,357 --> 00:02:17,977
Yeah, could be a Betfred.

54
00:02:18,605 --> 00:02:21,336
- Where's Rob today?
- Oh, don't you know?

55
00:02:21,456 --> 00:02:22,847
Aren't you in business with him?

56
00:02:22,848 --> 00:02:24,855
You know Mum and Dad are
mortified about all this.

57
00:02:24,856 --> 00:02:27,148
- Y'know Morrises don't get divorced.
- We're not getting...

58
00:02:27,149 --> 00:02:29,327
- Yeah, what about next time they go home?
- ... divorced!

59
00:02:29,396 --> 00:02:31,297
How's Mum going to tell Dymphna Brennan?

60
00:02:31,427 --> 00:02:33,826
You think of your mum, waddling
up to Dymphna Brennan...

61
00:02:33,827 --> 00:02:35,466
cos you know how bad her hip is now...

62
00:02:35,467 --> 00:02:38,026
waddling up, as if everything
wasn't bad enough already,

63
00:02:38,027 --> 00:02:39,683

- waddling up to her...
- Shut up, Fergal.

64
00:02:39,684 --> 00:02:42,164
And, just to be practical,
your street value's declined.

65
00:02:42,165 --> 00:02:44,036
I mean, you're old now and you've kids.

66
00:02:44,037 --> 00:02:45,496
Think there's going to be
something better out there for you?

67
00:02:45,497 --> 00:02:46,697
Pff!

68
00:02:47,027 --> 00:02:49,261
Oh, yeah, I forgot to tell
you, remember that guy you

69
00:02:49,262 --> 00:02:51,666
went out with at school,
Connor Byrne, remember him?

70
00:02:51,667 --> 00:02:54,093
- Course, what about him?
- He died.

71
00:02:54,454 --> 00:02:56,119
I saw it on Facebook this morning.

72
00:02:56,387 --> 00:02:58,880
He died? He's dead?

73
00:02:58,881 --> 00:03:01,066
Yeah. That's your dating pool now.

74
00:03:01,067 --> 00:03:05,192
Dead guys, letting agents...
maybe... and your husband.

75
00:03:05,193 --> 00:03:07,782
And that's it. Bird in the hand, what?

76
00:03:14,822 --> 00:03:17,141
(Unsettling orchestral music)

77
00:03:18,987 --> 00:03:20,443
Ah, Dave?

78
00:03:20,627 --> 00:03:25,433
Oh, hey, man. D-don't
worry about this, it's...

79
00:03:25,434 --> 00:03:26,733
This is just Friday.

80
00:03:26,734 --> 00:03:29,275
Whatever, do what you've
got to do, it's your house,

81
00:03:29,276 --> 00:03:32,003
but, ah, would you mind turning
that video game thing down?

82
00:03:32,004 --> 00:03:34,066
Er, it's been on loop for a few hours.

83
00:03:34,067 --> 00:03:35,639
Is that what the noise is?

84
00:03:35,640 --> 00:03:37,829
Oh, Sasha said it was inside our heads.

85
00:03:37,830 --> 00:03:41,670
Oh, my God, I'm so relieved
it's coming from there.

86
00:03:41,671 --> 00:03:42,906
I thought I had a problem.

87
00:03:42,907 --> 00:03:45,106
You know, Dave, I'm getting the sense

88
00:03:45,107 --> 00:03:47,105
this might not be the right place for me.

89
00:03:47,106 --> 00:03:48,831
I mean, I-I can't bring the kids.

90
00:03:48,832 --> 00:03:51,596
Muireann's just a baby,
her skin's so porous,

91
00:03:51,597 --> 00:03:53,842
I don't want her getting a
bunch of coke in her bloodstream.

92
00:03:53,843 --> 00:03:56,956
This isn't coke. This is krokodil.

93
00:03:57,235 --> 00:04:00,021
Like I'd do coke around a baby!

94
00:04:01,831 --> 00:04:04,817
I love seeing you in my home, buddy,

95
00:04:34,363 --> 00:04:35,968
_

96
00:04:35,969 --> 00:04:38,258
(Phone rings)

97
00:04:42,227 --> 00:04:43,991
- Hey, Mom.
- So,

98
00:04:43,992 --> 00:04:46,060
I've just got off the horn with Sharon

99
00:04:46,061 --> 00:04:48,106
and, if you want my honest opinion,

100
00:04:48,107 --> 00:04:50,282
this is the best thing that
could have happened to you.

101
00:04:50,283 --> 00:04:52,066
Really? 'Cause it doesn't feel like it.

102
00:04:52,067 --> 00:04:55,096
Yeah, I've spoken to Susan
Greenburg's husband, Mitchell,

103
00:04:55,097 --> 00:04:58,537
and he says he can get you a killer lawyer

104
00:04:58,538 --> 00:05:01,506
who'll... (Chuckles) I'm
not saying send her to jail

105
00:05:01,507 --> 00:05:04,918
but he can definitely get
you full custody of the kids.

106
00:05:04,919 --> 00:05:06,612
I don't want full custody of the kids.

107
00:05:06,613 --> 00:05:08,638
No, you're right, start over, clean slate.

108
00:05:08,639 --> 00:05:10,375
- I've got to go to work.
- No, you don't.

109
00:05:10,376 --> 00:05:12,746
Sharon told me you're under house arrest

110
00:05:12,747 --> 00:05:15,357
for sexually assaulting some French woman.

111
00:05:15,358 --> 00:05:18,295
- I didn't sexually assault anyone.
- I know you didn't.

112
00:05:18,296 --> 00:05:21,066
And, even if you did,
it doesn't define you,

113
00:05:21,067 --> 00:05:22,836
it's just a thing you did.

114
00:05:22,837 --> 00:05:25,357
(Phone notification sounds)
Oh, oh, oh, I-I've gotta go.

115
00:05:25,358 --> 00:05:28,938
Did you know that you can
actually message people

116

00:05:28,939 --> 00:05:30,935

from <i>inside</i> eBay?

117
00:05:30,936 --> 00:05:33,084
I will always answer one of those.

118
00:05:33,085 --> 00:05:34,494
Goodbye, baby.

119
00:05:35,055 --> 00:05:37,066
- Where you taking them?
- Don't know.

120
00:05:37,067 --> 00:05:42,077
Uh, we might hit a Stay And Play
or we might fly out to Botswana.

121
00:05:42,078 --> 00:05:43,596
Are their passports in the bag?

122

00:05:43,597 --> 00:05:46,685

First, that's not funny and, second,
you would need a notarised letter

123
00:05:46,686 --> 00:05:48,345
from me to leave the
country with them, because

124
00:05:48,346 --> 00:05:49,804
I looked that up and
that will never happen.

125
00:05:49,805 --> 00:05:51,771
First, it is funny and, second,

126
00:05:51,772 --> 00:05:54,243
I looked it up too and you're right.

127
00:05:56,347 --> 00:05:59,115
- Hey! Bye.
- Bye, Mummy.

128
00:06:00,696 --> 00:06:02,588
Bye-bye, bye-bye, have fun.

129
00:06:24,084 --> 00:06:25,722
Does he ever use those pads when he...

130
00:06:25,723 --> 00:06:27,674
you know, when he goes downtown?

131
00:06:27,675 --> 00:06:29,094
He uses a pillow.

132
00:06:29,448 --> 00:06:30,953
Oh, OK.

133
00:06:30,954 --> 00:06:34,593
More importantly, what's
going on with you and Rob?

134
00:06:35,278 --> 00:06:38,191
Oh, I just... I just kind
of hate him at the moment.

135
00:06:38,707 --> 00:06:41,436
I... I gave up everything for him and he...

136
00:06:41,437 --> 00:06:43,104
What did you have to give up?

137
00:06:43,269 --> 00:06:44,545
I had a...

138
00:06:44,867 --> 00:06:47,489
I gave up my career for him. My body.

139
00:06:47,490 --> 00:06:50,698
I have to wear a padded bra now just
so my giant nipples don't poke through,

140
00:06:50,699 --> 00:06:52,449
even when I'm wearing a
fucking leather jacket.

141
00:06:52,450 --> 00:06:54,586
Your nipples got big? My nipples got long.

142
00:06:54,587 --> 00:06:56,104
Mine got big and long.

143
00:06:56,427 --> 00:06:59,455
And he repaid me by lying about money

144
00:06:59,456 --> 00:07:01,834
and having a verbal sex
affair with a French slut,

145
00:07:01,835 --> 00:07:04,681
who I've looked up online, so
I've got no qualms saying that.

146
00:07:05,220 --> 00:07:07,859
She had purple eye shadow
on in her corporate photo.

147
00:07:07,860 --> 00:07:12,066
You're disappointed he's not
perfect? Well, that's on you, not him.

148
00:07:12,067 --> 00:07:13,267
What?

149
00:07:13,627 --> 00:07:16,843
Take it from someone who's recently
wrapped up her own imperfect marriage...

150
00:07:16,844 --> 00:07:19,299
get him back before it's too late.

151
00:07:19,300 --> 00:07:22,365

- A rose for my rose?

- Oh, lovely.

152
00:07:22,917 --> 00:07:24,436
A rose.

153
00:07:24,437 --> 00:07:27,064
Before it's had the
chance to fully blossom.

154
00:07:27,065 --> 00:07:30,128
Plucked from my very own garden.

155
00:07:38,779 --> 00:07:40,209
We're the only men here.

156
00:07:41,054 --> 00:07:43,436
I thought dads were supposed to parent now?

157
00:07:43,437 --> 00:07:44,787

Not really.

158
00:07:45,627 --> 00:07:48,346
It's like a meat market
with a special on mum chops.

159
00:07:48,347 --> 00:07:51,727
Nah, this well's poisoned.
They've seen me here with Sharon.

160
00:07:51,969 --> 00:07:54,059
Ah well, the odds are good...

161
00:07:54,227 --> 00:07:55,715
...but the goods are odd.

162
00:07:56,106 --> 00:07:57,599
Do you want to get out of here?

163
00:07:57,600 --> 00:08:00,454

No way! This is the most

fun I've had in weeks.

164
00:08:02,507 --> 00:08:05,365
You have all these plans
for your life post-marriage,

165
00:08:06,439 --> 00:08:09,626
then you remember you're pushing
50 and the Sky football package

166
00:08:09,627 --> 00:08:12,032
is, in fact, quite competitively priced.

167
00:08:14,448 --> 00:08:16,928
So, what's the plan? You want
to rehearse your apology with me?

168
00:08:17,493 --> 00:08:19,892
- I haven't done anything wrong.
- OK, OJ.

169
00:08:19,893 --> 00:08:21,894
- What? I didn't...
- Come on.

170
00:08:22,147 --> 00:08:26,881
You put a down payment on an
affair, you dish-faced American twat.

171
00:08:27,640 --> 00:08:32,197
You let Emmanuelle know there's
cracks in the dam at home.

172
00:08:32,198 --> 00:08:33,791
And that stinks.

173
00:08:37,157 --> 00:08:39,300
Stinks like French pussy.

174
00:08:41,043 --> 00:08:44,786

Oh, and Frankie got a

little cut on his finger.

175
00:08:44,787 --> 00:08:48,787
- How did he cut his finger?
- He said a man with a sword did it.

176
00:08:48,987 --> 00:08:50,644
I didn't see any men with swords.

177
00:08:51,867 --> 00:08:53,266
Right, well, I'm going to go.

178
00:08:53,267 --> 00:08:56,415
Wait, well, erm, I just
wanted to say, erm...

179
00:08:56,671 --> 00:08:58,943
Well, I just wanted to...
sorry for some of the things...

180
00:08:58,944 --> 00:09:00,738
I mean, I think it's, you know, maybe

181
00:09:00,739 --> 00:09:02,950
certain things I could have
handled a bit better, I suppose.

182
00:09:02,951 --> 00:09:04,965
OK, thank you.

183
00:09:05,555 --> 00:09:06,755
(She chuckles)

184
00:09:07,002 --> 00:09:08,222
Thank you?

185
00:09:08,467 --> 00:09:11,435
I-I just said sorry and
you said, "Thank you"?

186
00:09:11,436 --> 00:09:13,135
Well, you didn't say, "Sorry",

187
00:09:13,136 --> 00:09:16,505
you said, "Sorry for some of the
things...". That's not an apology.

188
00:09:16,506 --> 00:09:19,228
It wasn't supposed to
be an apology, that...

189
00:09:19,418 --> 00:09:23,194
I didn't even want to apologise.
I've got nothing to apologise for.

190
00:09:25,507 --> 00:09:29,413
I've got nothing to apologise for
because I didn't do anything wrong.

191
00:09:30,974 --> 00:09:32,174

(Sighs)

192
00:09:32,547 --> 00:09:35,829
What I did was like a
fidelity traffic violation.

193
00:09:35,830 --> 00:09:37,949
You told that woman,
or as good as told her,

194
00:09:37,950 --> 00:09:41,429
that you <i>think about fucking her</i>
often and you got yourself fired.

195
00:09:41,467 --> 00:09:45,106
I haven't been fired, I'm just not
allowed to go to work right now.

196
00:09:45,107 --> 00:09:46,792
Plus, I'd say there was
a pretty big difference

197
00:09:46,793 --> 00:09:48,432
between that and what I actually said.

198
00:09:48,433 --> 00:09:51,170
If you didn't say it
then it's what you exuded.

199
00:09:51,171 --> 00:09:52,925
You don't know what I exude.

200
00:09:52,926 --> 00:09:55,924
You exude black... squid ink.

201
00:09:55,925 --> 00:09:58,633
What are you talking about?
That doesn't even make any sense.

202
00:09:58,634 --> 00:10:00,463
- It makes sense.

- <i>Hey!</i>

203
00:10:01,338 --> 00:10:04,681
Just what did you gain for
not telling that French cow

204
00:10:04,682 --> 00:10:07,666
exactly where to get off w-when
she said all that shit to you?

205
00:10:07,667 --> 00:10:09,032
Did you want her to like you?

206
00:10:09,033 --> 00:10:12,440
Not everyone has to like
you, you're not a puppy,

207
00:10:12,441 --> 00:10:14,786
you're an adult man with a wife.

208

00:10:14,787 --> 00:10:17,186

Honest people who tell people how they feel

209
00:10:17,187 --> 00:10:19,845
when they feel it have
people not like them, OK?

210
00:10:19,846 --> 00:10:22,995
That's what I do. I-I have earned
the right to have people dislike me.

211
00:10:22,996 --> 00:10:25,523
I am very happy to have people not like me.

212
00:10:25,524 --> 00:10:26,724
No shit.

213
00:10:26,725 --> 00:10:29,506
- Let me call the Associated Press.
- And you know what I think?

214
00:10:29,507 --> 00:10:32,343
I think the truth is your
marriage wasn't a fucking funfair

215
00:10:32,344 --> 00:10:34,427
100% of the time, you child,

216
00:10:34,428 --> 00:10:37,476
so you had to have yourself a little
escape hatch pussy at the ready.

217
00:10:38,732 --> 00:10:39,976
Well...

218
00:10:40,350 --> 00:10:43,569
Wipe Frankie's ass better next
time because when I picked him up

219
00:10:43,570 --> 00:10:46,197
it was not clean and it made the car smell.

220
00:10:47,899 --> 00:10:49,099
<i>Oh...!</i>

221
00:11:00,406 --> 00:11:01,873
Hello, it's Sharon.

222
00:11:02,865 --> 00:11:04,489
What are you doing tonight?

223
00:11:07,947 --> 00:11:09,779
Dave, something's burning.

224
00:11:10,539 --> 00:11:11,777
Are you cooking?

225
00:11:11,865 --> 00:11:13,144
Hey!

226

00:11:14,547 --> 00:11:16,426

Wait, wait, wait, where are you going?

227
00:11:16,427 --> 00:11:18,626
- I'm going to get a hotel.
- No, no, no, no.

228
00:11:18,627 --> 00:11:21,140
No, no you've got this all
wrong. I'm cleaning up my act.

229
00:11:21,141 --> 00:11:24,878
See, I-I had Ken come over specifically
to finish off the drugs with me.

230
00:11:31,089 --> 00:11:33,700
And later I have a
cleaning lady coming over,

231
00:11:33,701 --> 00:11:37,386
so now my home is a safe place

for kids and their drugs...

232
00:11:37,387 --> 00:11:39,662
- D-dads.
- Ah... er...

233
00:11:40,024 --> 00:11:43,005
thanks for letting me stay,
Dave. I-I'll-I'll call you.

234
00:11:43,347 --> 00:11:46,506
Well, I-I'm going to
bake a Key lime pie later,

235
00:11:46,507 --> 00:11:48,741
so w-why don't you come back then?

236
00:11:48,742 --> 00:11:49,986
For pie!

237

00:11:49,987 --> 00:11:51,315

Where's the toilet?

238
00:11:51,316 --> 00:11:53,919
Huh? Oh, it's... it's just there.

239
00:11:57,197 --> 00:11:59,545
Do you have another one further away?

240
00:12:01,978 --> 00:12:03,904
Watch whatever you want,
eat whatever you want.

241
00:12:03,905 --> 00:12:06,607
There's some coconut bullshit in
the fridge, I don't know what it is.

242
00:12:06,608 --> 00:12:08,126
Ah, please eat it.

243

00:12:08,127 --> 00:12:12,134

Oh, erm, I noticed you had some
little Heinekens from the fridge

244
00:12:12,135 --> 00:12:13,335
last time you were here.

245
00:12:13,336 --> 00:12:15,375
I don't want you to drink, is that OK?

246
00:12:15,376 --> 00:12:17,341
Even a little can of...
when you're with my kids.

247
00:12:17,342 --> 00:12:18,833
Well, there was nothing else to drink.

248
00:12:18,834 --> 00:12:23,760
Even... even still. Just have
some tap water. From the tap.

249
00:12:27,564 --> 00:12:28,862
Where's Rob?

250
00:12:29,198 --> 00:12:31,422
- Er, I don't know where he is.
- What, did he leave ya?

251
00:12:31,423 --> 00:12:33,864
- No, I kicked him out.
- Shit.

252
00:12:34,507 --> 00:12:36,419
- You kicked him out?
- Yeah.

253
00:12:37,008 --> 00:12:38,779
That's nuts. You all right?

254
00:12:38,780 --> 00:12:40,291
Yeah, I'm very all right.

255
00:12:41,231 --> 00:12:43,798
- Wait, you kicked him out?
- Yeah.

256
00:12:44,307 --> 00:12:48,047
- God, that's nuts, that is.
- Yep. So you said.

257
00:12:48,048 --> 00:12:51,081
Right, I'm going. I'll see you later.

258
00:12:56,267 --> 00:12:59,026
Why do you think it's nuts? What's so nuts?

259
00:12:59,183 --> 00:13:01,826
Well, I... I don't know.
He's just fit, isn't he?

260
00:13:01,827 --> 00:13:03,027

Yeah.

261
00:13:03,445 --> 00:13:05,088
- Do you not think I'm fit?
- What?

262
00:13:05,089 --> 00:13:07,394
Nothing. Doesn't matter.
I've counted the beers.

263
00:13:22,545 --> 00:13:24,400
(Exhales)

264
00:13:25,881 --> 00:13:27,148
(Exhales again)

265
00:13:30,745 --> 00:13:31,945
(Tsks)

266
00:13:32,085 --> 00:13:34,840

Ah, for goodness' sake.

267
00:13:35,519 --> 00:13:36,719
(Scoffs)

268
00:13:37,414 --> 00:13:38,798
(Exhales)

269
00:13:47,842 --> 00:13:52,143
(<i>M - Pop Musiak</i> plays)

270
00:13:54,307 --> 00:13:57,026
And Brian said if I'd
been less brazen about it

271
00:13:57,027 --> 00:13:58,847
he might not have kicked me out.

272
00:13:59,027 --> 00:14:00,786
Oh, right. Yeah.

273
00:14:00,787 --> 00:14:03,186
But I had receipts for lube from, like,

274
00:14:03,187 --> 00:14:06,567
- five different chemists in my bag.
- Right.

275
00:14:06,568 --> 00:14:09,314
You know how you need a lot
more lube when you get older?

276
00:14:11,160 --> 00:14:13,347
But I get to see the kids
every other weekend, though.

277
00:14:13,348 --> 00:14:15,378
- Ah!
- Ellie, my four-year-old,

278

00:14:15,379 --> 00:14:18,382

called me a slag the last time I saw her.

279
00:14:18,667 --> 00:14:21,008
- Christ.
- I'm not helping...

280
00:14:22,227 --> 00:14:24,686
You know? So think about it for a minute

281
00:14:24,687 --> 00:14:29,078
before you move into a dirty
houseboat with a tanning-bed salesman.

282
00:14:29,547 --> 00:14:31,840
Even if he does have a massive cock.

283
00:14:32,227 --> 00:14:34,364
- Look...
- No, I mean it's massive.

284
00:14:36,345 --> 00:14:37,746
How's it going, lads?

285
00:14:37,747 --> 00:14:39,909
Yeah, I was just saying, do
you know who you look like?

286
00:14:39,910 --> 00:14:42,121
Er, your PE teacher?

287
00:14:42,122 --> 00:14:43,322
(Friend laughing)

288
00:14:43,387 --> 00:14:46,719
People say I look like
a filthy Natalie Portman.

289
00:14:48,566 --> 00:14:49,828
Do you want a drink?

290
00:14:50,906 --> 00:14:52,106
Say yes.

291
00:14:52,107 --> 00:14:54,192
- Uh, yeah.
- Love it.

292
00:15:07,253 --> 00:15:10,007
(Muffled banging and groaning)

293
00:15:10,528 --> 00:15:15,357
(Muffled crash and giggling)

294
00:15:16,495 --> 00:15:19,931
(Muffled banging and groaning)

295
00:15:32,821 --> 00:15:35,836
(<i>Bryan Ferry - Avalon</i> plays)

296

00:15:35,837 --> 00:15:37,407

Can I have an escort?

297
00:15:37,408 --> 00:15:39,346
Now the party's over...

298
00:15:39,347 --> 00:15:41,609
OK, I'm sorry...

299
00:15:42,000 --> 00:15:43,337
Um...

300
00:15:43,522 --> 00:15:46,852
can you give me the phone number
for <i>not</i> an expensive one?

301
00:15:47,703 --> 00:15:50,445
OK, sorry... I... I-I mean...

302
00:15:50,967 --> 00:15:53,406

You're right and, plus...

303
00:15:53,407 --> 00:15:56,504
I was only kidding! And
you need to lighten up.

304
00:15:56,729 --> 00:15:59,368
I'm just partying, if you wanna come up.

305
00:15:59,369 --> 00:16:00,569
(Sighs)

306
00:16:00,570 --> 00:16:02,073
What's your name?

307
00:16:02,847 --> 00:16:05,508
OK, thanks, Kevin, maybe next time.

308
00:16:10,418 --> 00:16:12,011
Avalon...

309
00:16:12,012 --> 00:16:13,523
(Phone beeps)

310
00:16:16,122 --> 00:16:19,468
_

311
00:16:19,469 --> 00:16:20,736
(He laughs)

312
00:16:20,737 --> 00:16:22,045
No.

313
00:16:24,458 --> 00:16:25,973
(He groans)

314
00:16:25,974 --> 00:16:28,900
Fucking...

315

00:16:29,873 --> 00:16:31,267

(He groans again)

316
00:16:31,847 --> 00:16:33,806
Do you think they're
talking to them about us?

317
00:16:33,807 --> 00:16:35,099
(Sharon laughs)

318
00:16:35,211 --> 00:16:37,426
Ah, I doubt it.

319
00:16:39,284 --> 00:16:41,552
We bought <i>them</i> those drinks

320
00:16:41,553 --> 00:16:44,844
on the understanding that they
would then buy <i>us</i> drinks.

321

00:16:44,845 --> 00:16:46,474

- Right?
- Yeah.

322
00:16:46,795 --> 00:16:49,040
Hang on! Did they just buy <i>them</i> drinks?

323
00:16:49,041 --> 00:16:52,045
You did <i>not</i> pay it forwards.

324
00:16:52,974 --> 00:16:54,374
I'm going over there.

325
00:16:54,375 --> 00:16:57,003
What? No, wait. Don't... don't go!

326
00:17:05,064 --> 00:17:06,481
Be patient.

327
00:17:07,768 --> 00:17:09,497

(Classical music plays)

328
00:17:09,498 --> 00:17:11,095
Hey, Dave?

329
00:17:15,247 --> 00:17:16,682
Hey, Dave?!

330
00:17:17,607 --> 00:17:18,954
Dave?!

331
00:17:20,188 --> 00:17:21,612
<i>Dave?!</i>

332
00:17:29,988 --> 00:17:31,254
Lamp.

333
00:17:33,887 --> 00:17:35,689
Dave, are you here?!

334
00:17:38,894 --> 00:17:41,388
Jesus, Dave.

335
00:17:42,908 --> 00:17:44,362
Dave?

336
00:17:44,558 --> 00:17:46,372
Hey, wake up, man.

337
00:17:48,807 --> 00:17:50,877
(He slaps repeatedly) Wake the fuck up!

338
00:17:52,746 --> 00:17:56,345
(He grunts)

339
00:17:56,527 --> 00:18:00,166
(He grunts)

340
00:18:00,167 --> 00:18:01,819

Are you breathing?

341
00:18:01,967 --> 00:18:06,739
Are you breathing, you fucking
45-year-old heroin-partier?

342
00:18:17,087 --> 00:18:21,649
(He splutters and moans)

343
00:18:22,767 --> 00:18:25,929
(He whimpers)

344
00:18:25,930 --> 00:18:28,686
Hello? I-I have an OD.

345
00:18:28,687 --> 00:18:30,521
My friend OD'd.

346
00:18:30,887 --> 00:18:32,472
On Clark Street.

347
00:18:34,127 --> 00:18:35,606
Hey.

348
00:18:35,607 --> 00:18:38,088
- Want a drink?
- Oh, no, I've had enough, I'll just...

349
00:18:38,089 --> 00:18:40,926
Oh, well, yeah, I'll have a Diet
Coke. But what are you having?

350
00:18:40,927 --> 00:18:43,086
- Um, whisky. OK!
- Yeah, OK, I'll have one of those.

351
00:18:43,087 --> 00:18:45,526
We thought we lost you to
Elsa and Anna over there.

352

00:18:45,639 --> 00:18:47,727

- Who?
- Have you not seen Frozen?

353
00:18:47,733 --> 00:18:50,290
Oh, I suppose you wouldn't... if
you didn't... oh, it doesn't matter.

354
00:18:52,447 --> 00:18:55,313
So... what's... what's
the deal with all this?

355
00:18:55,967 --> 00:18:58,486
Do you play with bear...
wrestling, whatever?

356
00:18:58,487 --> 00:19:01,129
(He laughs) No, it's CrossFit, baby.

357
00:19:01,647 --> 00:19:03,074
Gross.

358
00:19:03,075 --> 00:19:05,666
Hey, uh... you ever been up
on the roof of this place?

359
00:19:05,667 --> 00:19:08,380
It's pretty cool, you can see
for, like, a thousand miles.

360
00:19:08,381 --> 00:19:09,566
(Sharon laughs)

361
00:19:09,567 --> 00:19:11,782
Really? Over full 1,000s?

362
00:19:12,171 --> 00:19:14,218
So, like, all the way to Namibia?

363
00:19:14,618 --> 00:19:15,818
Where?

364
00:19:15,819 --> 00:19:18,467
Na-mi-bi... oh, it doesn't
matter. Come on, let's go.

365
00:19:18,468 --> 00:19:20,015
I love a good roof.

366
00:19:20,580 --> 00:19:22,860
- Hey!
- I'm just going up on the roof!

367
00:19:23,519 --> 00:19:25,067
Where'd the other one go?

368
00:19:26,907 --> 00:19:28,526
He's in a stable for now.

369
00:19:28,527 --> 00:19:32,563
I mean, he's in a coma,

but the good news is that

370
00:19:32,564 --> 00:19:36,526
anything that is gonna
happen has already happened...

371
00:19:36,527 --> 00:19:37,766
...other than death.

372
00:19:37,767 --> 00:19:41,206
So, now we just wait,
see what damage there's...

373
00:19:41,207 --> 00:19:42,886
y'know, that's totally...

374
00:19:42,887 --> 00:19:44,726
um, you know, that's to be figured out.

375
00:19:44,727 --> 00:19:48,832

- That's, um, TBD.

- Jesus.

376
00:19:49,527 --> 00:19:53,206
- I feel terrible.
- Why? Because you got mad

377
00:19:53,207 --> 00:19:55,054
when he <i>lied</i> to you?

378
00:19:55,055 --> 00:19:59,131
- M-men shouldn't lie to women...
- Don't feel you need to talk to me.

379
00:19:59,401 --> 00:20:01,799
OK, I'll just be here
by the vending machine.

380
00:20:01,800 --> 00:20:05,686
And, only if you get the chance
because this is a huge favour, but

381
00:20:05,687 --> 00:20:09,250
I put 2 in the machine
for some chicken soup.

382
00:20:09,251 --> 00:20:12,526
It's E-6 and no chicken soup came out!

383
00:20:12,527 --> 00:20:17,036
So, if there's a machine in
the doctors' lounge, you co...

384
00:20:18,286 --> 00:20:21,035
I'm just so...

385
00:20:22,544 --> 00:20:23,744
...fuckin' hungry.

386
00:20:23,745 --> 00:20:27,745
(Banjo music plays)

387
00:20:29,690 --> 00:20:32,591
(He sobs)

388
00:20:34,957 --> 00:20:37,565
- (Baby gurgles)
- (Sharon groans)

389
00:20:37,566 --> 00:20:39,406
_

390
00:20:39,407 --> 00:20:42,234
(Phone rings)

391
00:20:52,127 --> 00:20:53,446
Hey.

392
00:20:53,706 --> 00:20:54,906
Hey.

393
00:20:55,756 --> 00:20:57,291
Are you OK?

394
00:20:58,847 --> 00:21:01,526
Jesus! I don't want him to die.

395
00:21:01,527 --> 00:21:04,993
I mean, cos I quite like him, but also
he just made me feel better about me.

396
00:21:06,447 --> 00:21:07,872
Thanks for telling me.

397
00:21:08,456 --> 00:21:10,378
Well, who else am I gonna tell?

398
00:21:10,567 --> 00:21:13,126
(Baby coos)

399

00:21:13,127 --> 00:21:16,326

Sorry, I know I smell like a festival
toilet, I drank a lot last night.

400
00:21:16,327 --> 00:21:18,019
- No.
- Brushed my teeth five times,

401
00:21:18,026 --> 00:21:20,768
I had a shower, I don't even know where
the smell's coming from. It's like...

402
00:21:20,810 --> 00:21:22,569
my liver? I dunno...

403
00:21:22,570 --> 00:21:24,030
W-where's Frankie?

404
00:21:24,207 --> 00:21:25,646
What?!

405
00:21:25,647 --> 00:21:27,072
Do you not have him?!

406
00:21:27,304 --> 00:21:29,006
- (Sharon chuckles)
- (Rob chuckles also)

407
00:21:29,007 --> 00:21:30,541
He's at Ollie's.

408
00:21:37,558 --> 00:21:38,860
How are you?

409
00:21:39,407 --> 00:21:40,886
Very shit.

410
00:21:41,127 --> 00:21:42,886
- How are you?
- Very not well.

411
00:21:42,887 --> 00:21:45,706
Look, I've really thought about everything.

412
00:21:45,707 --> 00:21:46,947
So have I.

413
00:21:47,335 --> 00:21:50,397
So have, I-I think this is how
I'm gonna get my head round it.

414
00:21:50,493 --> 00:21:53,169
You hated your job, right?
I mean, you really hated it.

415
00:21:53,170 --> 00:21:56,133
And this French hussy waltzed in
and made things exciting for a while

416
00:21:56,134 --> 00:21:57,494
and-and you let her, because...

417
00:21:57,495 --> 00:21:59,006
y-you're weak.

418
00:21:59,007 --> 00:22:01,126
- And stupid.
- And, yeah, and sometimes,

419
00:22:01,127 --> 00:22:03,381
when I feel worthless and ugly...

420
00:22:04,270 --> 00:22:06,307
...I go to the coffee place
by the canal, because the

421
00:22:06,308 --> 00:22:08,711
Spanish guy who works there
definitely wants to fuck me.

422
00:22:08,835 --> 00:22:11,918

I mean, he definitely wants

to... and I let him want that...

423
00:22:12,419 --> 00:22:14,310
with my body language and...

424
00:22:14,687 --> 00:22:16,278
and sometimes my words language.

425
00:22:16,279 --> 00:22:19,252
What I did is worse because
I jeopardised everything.

426
00:22:19,253 --> 00:22:21,195
- No, you just...
- What did you want?

427
00:22:21,196 --> 00:22:23,926
Some free cinnamon on your cappuccino?

428

00:22:23,927 --> 00:22:27,880

- I put my job and my family at risk...
- Yeah, well, maybe don't... you know,

429
00:22:27,881 --> 00:22:29,926
- because I'm already finding it hard to...
- OK.

430
00:22:29,927 --> 00:22:31,616
...just get my head around the...

431
00:22:34,527 --> 00:22:36,076
I don't want to be alone.

432
00:22:36,413 --> 00:22:39,092
- I don't either.
- I don't feel safe in the house.

433
00:22:39,211 --> 00:22:40,730
You know, on my own.

434
00:22:40,807 --> 00:22:44,079
There's new night-time noise
and... it's not a fox, or a mou...

435
00:22:44,080 --> 00:22:45,704
I don't know what it is but it's...

436
00:22:45,705 --> 00:22:47,941
- There's a bad new night-time noise.
- OK.

437
00:22:47,942 --> 00:22:50,621
I would like to help
you identify that noise

438
00:22:50,767 --> 00:22:53,886
and I know you wanted to move
the bed against the other wall,

439
00:22:53,887 --> 00:22:55,878

and you can't do that on your own.

440
00:22:55,879 --> 00:22:57,690
Are they good enough
reasons to stay together?

441
00:22:57,691 --> 00:22:59,784
Maybe not but here's another one...

442
00:22:59,785 --> 00:23:02,486
I've been looking at flats and
they're <i>so</i> expensive.

443
00:23:02,487 --> 00:23:04,905
I'd have to move 30-miles
away from you and the kids

444
00:23:04,906 --> 00:23:06,641
and I don't want to do that.

445

00:23:07,287 --> 00:23:09,810

And, this is a tiny one, but...

446
00:23:10,798 --> 00:23:14,278
as I look at you, all the reasons
that I fell in love with you

447
00:23:14,279 --> 00:23:17,642
have come flooding back so much
that I think I might throw up.

448
00:23:19,753 --> 00:23:22,910
And, again, flats are very expensive.

449
00:23:24,687 --> 00:23:26,926
I mean, they do sound really expensive.

450
00:23:29,007 --> 00:23:31,282
- Have you slept with anyone?
- No!

451
00:23:32,611 --> 00:23:36,045
I did jerk off a couple times at Dave's,

452
00:23:36,046 --> 00:23:39,965
cos his porn collection is,
like, museum-level, but that's it.

453
00:23:40,427 --> 00:23:41,627
Have you?

454
00:23:42,327 --> 00:23:44,140
- What?
- Slept with anyone...

455
00:23:44,141 --> 00:23:45,920
Course I haven't fucking slept with anyone!

456
00:23:46,180 --> 00:23:48,562
- Really?
- Ha! No!

457
00:23:48,793 --> 00:23:50,056
No!

458
00:23:50,327 --> 00:23:52,518
I can't show this fanny
to anyone... it's a mess.

459
00:23:52,519 --> 00:23:55,645
There's, like, scar tissue and...
I don't even wanna look at it.

460
00:23:56,767 --> 00:23:59,027
The only person I can
show this fanny to is you.

461
00:24:01,247 --> 00:24:03,351
Can you show it to me right now?

462
00:24:04,367 --> 00:24:08,367

(They moan)

463
00:24:09,527 --> 00:24:11,846
- Oh, shit, there's a guy.
- He can't see us.

464
00:24:11,847 --> 00:24:13,142
OK!

465
00:24:13,516 --> 00:24:14,906
I love you.

466
00:24:14,907 --> 00:24:16,446
I love you!

467
00:24:16,447 --> 00:24:20,979
(He grunts)

468
00:24:22,927 --> 00:24:24,235
(Phone beeps)

469
00:24:26,444 --> 00:24:29,916
_

470
00:24:29,917 --> 00:24:31,388
(Frankie) ...frog.

471
00:24:32,327 --> 00:24:33,814
(Frankie) Ribbit.

472
00:24:35,367 --> 00:24:38,209
(Phone rings)

473
00:24:38,210 --> 00:24:40,816
<i>- Hey.</i>
- Hi, Kate, it's, ah, Sharon.

474
00:24:40,817 --> 00:24:42,134
How's it going?

475
00:24:42,771 --> 00:24:45,223
- Are you still with...?
- Am I still with who?

476
00:24:45,224 --> 00:24:47,046
What's-his-name. From last night.

477
00:24:47,047 --> 00:24:49,358
No! I am <i>not</i>.

478
00:24:50,287 --> 00:24:53,019
<i>I'm at home with my
husband and my kids...</i>

479
00:24:53,020 --> 00:24:55,926
and I've just made a lasagne,
and now I'm putting toys away.

480
00:24:55,927 --> 00:24:57,782
- Good for you.

- Can you just tell me,

481
00:24:57,783 --> 00:24:59,627
approximately, what happened last night?

482
00:24:59,628 --> 00:25:01,068
<i>There's a huge chunk
of it I can't remember.</i>

483
00:25:01,069 --> 00:25:02,269
I dunno.

484
00:25:02,673 --> 00:25:04,450
You went off with your man.

485
00:25:04,451 --> 00:25:05,890
F-For what, like, like a minute?

486
00:25:05,891 --> 00:25:07,526
More like an hour!

487
00:25:07,527 --> 00:25:08,806
(Kate laughs)

488
00:25:08,807 --> 00:25:10,166
<i>And then you left.</i>

489
00:25:10,167 --> 00:25:11,934
Like, <i>with</i> him.

490
00:25:11,935 --> 00:25:13,207
(Kate laughs)

491
00:25:15,359 --> 00:25:16,559
<i>Oh, shit.</i>

492
00:25:16,560 --> 00:25:19,017
Oh my God, what have I
done, I can't even... um...

493
00:25:19,807 --> 00:25:21,840
(She pants)

494
00:25:22,032 --> 00:25:23,937
Oh, God.

495
00:25:23,938 --> 00:25:25,591
Oh, shit.

496
00:25:25,847 --> 00:25:27,314
(Rob runs upstairs) Honey!

497
00:25:28,807 --> 00:25:31,271
Frankie wants to show you
the poop that he just did.

498
00:25:31,272 --> 00:25:33,535
Before you say no, it's pretty amazing.

499

00:25:33,703 --> 00:25:34,903

Sure.

500
00:25:34,904 --> 00:25:36,104
(She pants)

501
00:25:36,105 --> 00:25:37,305
Oh, God.

502
00:25:41,507 --> 00:25:42,866
- Hi.
- Can I help you?

503
00:25:42,867 --> 00:25:46,066
Yeah, um, I need Plan B.

504
00:25:46,067 --> 00:25:48,327
Like, a morning after pill. Or whatever.

505
00:25:48,328 --> 00:25:51,540

I mean, I probably don't... but I'm just

gonna... I need the morning after pill.

506
00:25:57,109 --> 00:25:58,814
<i>Oh, shit.</i>

507
00:26:03,953 --> 00:26:06,016
You think Frankie understands the plot?

508
00:26:06,576 --> 00:26:10,576
It's just two cowboys fallin' in
love. I think he probably gets it.

509
00:26:11,287 --> 00:26:13,086
(Doorbell rings)

510
00:26:13,180 --> 00:26:14,674
I'm minding Muireann.

511
00:26:15,767 --> 00:26:17,109

OK...

512
00:26:23,930 --> 00:26:26,867
- Here you go, and ah, keep the change.
- Thank you.

513
00:26:28,107 --> 00:26:31,020
Oh, um, this was in there. Cheers.

514
00:26:37,209 --> 00:26:39,182
_

515
00:26:39,183 --> 00:26:40,647
What the fuck?

516
00:26:40,648 --> 00:26:45,683
(Police siren blares)

517
00:26:56,967 --> 00:26:58,575
Mmm.

518
00:26:59,736 --> 00:27:00,936
(Sharon chuckles)

519
00:27:10,767 --> 00:27:12,061
You OK?

520
00:27:13,127 --> 00:27:14,475
Pretty spicy.

521
00:27:22,408 --> 00:27:27,408
Sync & corrections by <font color="#d61dfc">PetaG</font>
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