Professional Documents
Culture Documents
High Priority
Over-Attention
Under-Attention
Medium/Low Priority
#1
Health&Activity
Achievement
Creativity
Interdependence
#2
ConcernforOthers
Humility
Spirituality
ConcernforEnvironment
#3
Belonging
Responsibility
ObjectiveAnalysis
#4
Independence
FinancialProsperity
Privacy
High Priority
These values are important to me AND I frequently act on them.
Thesevaluesareanintegralpartofyourlifebecausetheyareimportantandyouaremakingsuretheyare
beingexpressed.Thewayyouactonthemisgenerallyasourceofsatisfactioninyourlife,unlessyouhave
toomanyvaluesinthiscategory.Ifthisisthecase,youmayneedtoworkonprioritizingyourvaluesbecause
manylifestylesdonotpermitpeopletosatisfylargenumbersofvalues.Becausetheimportanceandactions
ofthesevaluesarealigned,itusuallyreflectsacombinationofgoodlifemanagementonyourpartbecause
youaremakingtimetoexpressthesevalues,andtheenvironmentisprovidingopportunitiesforyouto
expressthem.
Asyoulookforward,clarifychangesthatmaybeonthehorizonandhowtheymayimpactthesevalues.
Thesemayincludechangesinyourenvironmentaswellasinternalchangesthatmaybeshiftingwhatis
importanttoyou.Thesevaluesarealsovulnerabletodriftingintoaneedwheretheybecometoointenseand
youexperiencemorestressthansatisfaction.ItisimportanttopayattentiontothesectiononOptimizing
ValuesExpressionforeffectivemanagementoftheseimportantvalues.
Page1of13
Being athletic
Peoplewhoholdthisvaluetendtolikeclean,healthyenvironments,enjoyexcitingactivities,andarecommittedtotheirhealth
andwell-being.Theymayseethisvalueasapowerfulwaytomanagethestressintheirlives.Over-attentiontothisvaluecan
resultinbeingoverlycriticaloftheirappearanceorleveloffitness,andcanresultinanunhealthyformofcopingifnot
managedappropriately.Stressmaybefeltwhenthedemandsofothersrestrictthetimedevotedtobeingphysicallyactive.
StressmayalsobeexperiencedwhenpeoplewhovalueHealth&Activityseeothersengageinunhealthyactivities.Healthand
Activitycanfacilitatetheattainmentofothervaluesanddoesnotnecessarilyconflictwithothervaluesunlessitis
overemphasized.
Helping others
Peoplewhoholdthisvaluearelikelytobelieveinequality,seethemselvesashelpful,honest,friendly,andforgiving,maystrive
forinnertranquilityandworldpeace,andmayhavelittleconcernfortheaccumulationofwealth.However,somepeoplewho
holdthisvaluealsovalueFinancialProsperity.Rolesinwhichtheycanheal,teach,help,mentor,orotherwiseadvancethe
welfareofothersarethemostsatisfyingtopeopleholdingthisvalue.Thisvaluecanfacilitatepersonalandprofessional
relationshipsbecauseofsensitivitytoothers.However,agreatdealofinterpersonalfrustrationmayoccurwithotherswhoact
inanuncaringorselfishmanner.Thisvaluecanbeasourceofstressifonefeelsunabletohelpothersorifhelpisrejected.
Over-attentiontothisvaluecanresultinburnout,feelingoverlyresponsiblefortheproblemsofothers,andalossofequityin
relationships.
ConcernforOthersmaybecomplementarywithBelonging,butmayconflictwithIndependenceifoveremphasized.Similarly,
peoplewithhighlyprioritizedPrivacyandConcernforOthersvaluesmayexperienceconflictbecauseonevaluepullsthem
towardsolitaryactivitieswhiletheotherpushesthemtowardinteractionwithpeople.Conflictmayoccurifindividualswhohave
ahighlyprioritizedConcernforOthersvaluefindthemselvesinroleswithpeoplewhoplacematerialrewards(Financial
Prosperity)aheadofthewelfareofpeople.
BELONGING (11)
It is important to be accepted by others and to feel included.
Connectednessandinclusioninworkandsocialgroupsarevalued.Inclusioncanbethebasisforpositiveself-evaluation,
andacceptancemaybesoughtinavarietyofwaysincludingbeinghelpful,polite,and/orloyal.
Stresscanresultwhenothervaluesarecompromisedforthesakeofharmonyorhavingotherslikeyou.Beingassertiveor
dealingwithconfrontationcanalsobeasourceofstress.Transitionstonewenvironmentscanbeharduntilasenseof
belongingisfelt.Independence,PrivacyandAchievementmayconflictwithBelongingtothedegreetheyinterferewithfeeling
connectedtoothers.Conflictmayoccurifthereislittleacceptanceorrecognitiongivenwithinarole.Conflictmayalsooccurif
otherrolesinterferewiththetimenecessarytodevelopmeaningfulrelationships.
INDEPENDENCE (9)
Page2of13
Being independent
Giving my opinion
Peoplewiththisvaluestriveforpersonalfreedomandautonomousactionofspeechandmovement.Theymayperceive
themselvestobeambitious,capable,pleasureseeking,andmayliketoberegardedbyothersasindependent.Peoplewho
valueIndependencemayaccepttemporarypositionsofrestrictedautonomybutitwillbeimportantforthemtoseeaclear
futureopportunityforincreasedautonomy.Itisalsoimportanttofeelasenseofequityinthattheyarereceivingafairrewardfor
whattheyarecontributing.Stressoccursforpeopleholdingthisvaluewhentheiractionsarelimitedinsomefashion.When
thisvalueisoveremphasized,otherpeoplearedisregardedinthedecision-makingprocessand/ortheindividualoverreacts
emotionallytoattempts,realorimagined,atrestrictingtheiractivities.
IndependencemayconflictwithInterdependenceandBelongingbecausebothofthesevaluesrequirefairlyhighdegreesof
conformityforsatisfaction.ConflictmayoccurwhenpeoplewhovalueIndependenceareinvolvedwithpeoplewhostrongly
valueBelongingand/orInterdependence.
Over-Attention
I am focusing on these values more than I would prefer.
Whydoweactonvaluesmorefrequentlythanweprefer?
1Itmaybethattheenvironmentisdemandingustoactonthesevalues.Attimes,thisincongruenceis
acceptableandwecanmanagethestresswell.Butongoingperiodsofactingonvaluesthatareless
importantcancausestrainandleadtoburnoutorillness.Lookforopportunitiesthatmayallowyoutoadjust
youractionstoactlessonthesevalues.ThearticleonStress&EmotionalManagementinStep5maybe
helpfulinmanagingsituationswheretheenvironmentisforcingthistypeofbehavior.
2Thesevaluesmayhavebeenofhighimportanceinthepastbutarestartingtoshiftforyou.Theymay
beshiftingtowardlessimportanceinyourlifebutyouractionsarestilloncruisecontrol.Byfocusingyour
attentiononothervaluesthataregrowinginimportancecanhelpalignthevaluesinthiscategorywitha
frequencyofexpressionthatismorecongruentwithimportance.Thetimingofthesechangesisanimportant
considerationandevenifyourenvironmentdoesntcurrentlyallowformuchchange,developingaplanfor
thefuturecanbeahelpfulwaytocopewithcurrentstress.
3Theremaybeavalueinthiscategorythathasbeentooimportantandhasfelttoointense,causing
morestressthanfulfillment.Atsomelevel,weknowthatwereactingonthisvaluetoomuch.Butits
emotionallydifficulttobackoff.Thisisanexampleofwhenavaluehasshiftedtowardaneedstateandis
outofperspective.Thereasonitcausessomuchstressisthatweareover-expressingthisvalueatthecost
ofunder-attendingtootherimportantvalues.Bycourageouslyfocusingonexpressingothervaluesand
internallychallengingthemyththatonevaluesufficientlydefinesyoucanhelpputthisvalueinabetter
perspective.Thisisadifficultshiftbecausethereareusuallypowerfullifeexperiencesthathaveshapedthis
valueintoaneed.Conscientiousattentiontoamorebalancedexpressionofvaluesandadditionalsupport
mayfosterahealthierperspective.
Page3of13
ACHIEVEMENT (15)
It is important to challenge myself and to work hard to improve.
Improving my performance
Peoplewhoholdthisvaluemayviewthemselvesasambitiousandcapable,andtheymayenjoyactivitiesthatrequiretaking
risks.Thisvaluecanserveasasourceofmotivationtoimproveanddoyourbest.Satisfactionofthisvaluemaycomeinmany
waysincludingtheaccumulationofknowledge,helpingothers,performingphysicalfeats,settingchallengingpersonalgoals
andworkingtoachievethem,workingtoimproveperformance,puttingforthextraefforttoaccomplishagoal,andthrough
successinbusiness.
PeoplewhovalueAchievementexperiencestresswhentheyareunabletoactontheirachievement-orientedgoals,whenthey
feelunchallenged,orwhentheybecometoofocusedonresultsoroutcomeatthesacrificeofsatisfactionabouttheir
performanceoreffort.BelongingmayconflictwithAchievementwhenacceptancebyapeergroupisdependentupon
maintainingrelativelylowlevelsofperformance.Conflictmayoccurbetweenpersonswhohaveahighlyprioritized
AchievementvalueandpeoplewhoacttolimittheiraccomplishmentsordonotsharetheirAchievementvalue.Conflictcan
alsooccurwhenthedemandsofoneormoreotherrolesprecludethepursuitofcherished,achievement-orientedgoals.
HUMILITY (10)
It is important to be humble and modest about my accomplishments.
Peoplewhoholdthisvaluearemodestandmaybeself-effacing.Theytendtobeuncomfortablewhentheiraccomplishments
arehighlightedandmayattempttopointtotheaccomplishmentofotherstodeflectattentionfromthemselves.Also,theyare
likelytobeobedient,polite,loyal,andself-controlled.
HumilitymayconflictwithAchievement,particularlyiftheresultisindividualachievementthatdrawsattentiontotheperson.
StressislikelyifthepersonwhoholdsahighlyprioritizedHumilityvalueisplacedinapositionofhavingtopromoteherorhis
accomplishments
RESPONSIBILITY (10)
It is important to be dependable and trustworthy.
Being reliable
Being trustworthy
Meeting my obligations
Peoplewhoholdthisvaluemayperceivethemselvesasbeingresponsible,honest,helpful,logical,self-controlled,and
trustworthy.Theyareviewedbyothersasreliableandareseenasthedependablepersonforimportanttasks.Being
responsibleisveryfulfillingifthereisalsoperceivedequityandfairnessintheircommitmentoftimeandenergy.Longperiods
ofperceivedinequityorunfairnesscanresultinburnout.Accountabilityisimportantandcanresultinholdingotherstohigh
standards.Excusesfromotherscanbefrustrating.Becausebeingtrustworthyisimportant,trustiscriticalandbrokentrustcan
befeltdeeply.
StressoccurswhenpeoplewhovalueResponsibilitybecometooother-orientedatthesacrificeofself-careandmaintenance
(responsibilitytooneself).Stressisalsoexperiencedwhenroleoverloadoccurstothepointthatitprecludesorreducesthe
opportunitytoactinadependablefashion.ApersonwhoprizesbothCreativityandResponsibilitymayhaveaconflictbetween
thedesiretoinnovateandthemotivetobereliable.
Page4of13
Making money
Being wealthy
Peoplewhoholdthisvaluemayperceivethemselvestobeambitious,capable,intelligent,andlogical.Theystriveto
accumulatewealthandliveacomfortablelife.Thisvaluecancomplementorfacilitatetheattainmentofotherimportantvalues,
suchasIndependence.StressoccursforpeoplewhoholdFinancialProsperityasahighlyprioritizedvaluewhentheyare
unabletoaccumulatewealthataratethattheydeemappropriate,orwhenevertheyexperiencelossofwealth.Stresscanbe
feltwhenthereisperceivedinequityintheamountoffinancialreturnonereceivesfortheamountofenergyexpended.
FinancialProsperitydoesnotnecessarilyconflictwithothervaluesunlessitisoveremphasized.Over-attentiontothisvalue
mayresultinplacingtoomuchimportanceonmaterialthingsatthesacrificeofrelationships,aswellasspiritual,emotional,
andphysicalwell-being.
PRIVACY (8)
It is important to have time alone.
Peoplewhoholdthisvalueseekpersonalfreedom.Behavioralmanifestationsofthisvalueincludereading,takinglongdrives
orwalks,listeningtomusic,andothersolitaryactivities.Peoplewhoholdthisvaluearenotlikelytoseethemselvesas
entrepreneurial.StressoccursforpeoplewhovaluePrivacywhentheyareforced,becauseofroledemands,tospend
extensiveamountsoftimewithpeopleattheexpenseoftimealone.PrivacyiscompatiblewithIndependencebutmayconflict
withInterdependence.
Under-Attention
I am not focusing on these values as much as I would prefer.
Valuesinthiscategoryoftenelicitfeelingsofguiltandfrustration.Commonself-statementscaninclude,IfI
onlyhadmoretime.Ifonlyotherthingswouldntgetintheway,IfonlyIhadmorewillpower,etc.These
valuesoftenreflectpersonalgoalsthatwebelievewouldimproveourlifebutareverydifficulttoestablisha
consistentrhythmofbehaviororcanoftenconflictwithothervaluesorliferoles.Theymayalsoreflectvalues
thataregrowinginimportancebutyouhaventdevelopedahabitofconsistentlyactingonthemyet.No
matterthereason,thiscategoryreflectsvaluesthathavesomekindofchallengeassociatedwiththem.The
challengescanbeexternalintermsofconflictingactivitiesorlimitedtimeforexpressionortheymaybe
internalobstaclessuchasfearorguilt.
Forvaluesinthiscategory,itisrecommendedtochipawayatcreatingmoretimetoexpressthesevalues.
Thisprocesswillclarifyhowmuchthesevaluesreflectpreferencesorsomethingimportantenoughtofight
for.Weallhavepreferencesthatareaboutbeingmoreskilledatsomethingorbeingmorefitorwishingto
spendmoretimewithcertainpeople...butatwhatcost?Valuesinthiscategoryusuallyrepresentsome
Page5of13
kindofpersonalcostand,therefore,dontgetexpressedasmuchasyouwouldwant.
Itishelpfultoreflectfromtimetotimeonthesevaluesandaskyourselfiftheyareelevatingtoalevelof
importancethatyouarewillingtodevotetheenergytomanagethecostsassociatedwiththeirexpression.If
theanswerisnotyet,thencompassionatelyshelvethemaspreferencesfornowinthefaiththatyouwill
returntothematsomepoint.Iftheanswerisyes,thendevelopaplanofexpressionthatwillincreasethis
value,aplanofreadinesstoprepareyouforthechallengesassociatedwithexpressingthisvaluewhile
reducingexpressionofotherstomakeroomforthisone,andaplanofsupportsothatotherscanhelpyou
throughthistransition.Itisimportanttohonorthedifficultyofthisworkandincorporatetimesofcelebration
andrestoration.ThearticlesinStep5onOptimalSelf-Leadership,StressandEmotionalManagement,
andManagingLifeTransitionsmaybehelpfulwiththisprocess.
CREATIVITY (12)
It is important to have new ideas, create new things or be creatively expressive.
Being creative
Peoplewhoholdthisvaluearelikelytoperceivethemselvesasimaginative,intelligent,expressive,capable,andbroadminded.Theyarealsolikelytobeconcernedaboutbeautyintheworld,althoughthismaynotberestrictedtonature.
Creativitycancomplementmanyothervaluessinceitfacilitateslookingatthingsinnewanddifferentways.Stresscanoccur
whenCreativityisoveremphasizedattheexpenseoforderlinessthatmaybenecessaryforthepropermanagementoftheir
livesandrelationships.Theyarelikelytoexperiencestresswhentheirabilitytousetheirimaginationtosolveproblemsis
restricted(e.g.iftheyworkinaroutine,repetitivejob).
ConflictmayoccurwhenpeoplehaveahighlyprioritizedCreativityvalueaswellasahighlyprioritizedResponsibilityvalue.
Dependability,whichisthehallmarkofapersonwithaResponsibilityvalue,maymeanbeingorderlyandpredictable,
responsesthatmaynotbehighlycompatiblewithcreativeexpression.Conflictisalsolikelytoresultifthepersonwhoprizes
Creativityisexpectedbyotherstofollowaroutine.
SPIRITUALITY (9)
It is important to have spiritual beliefs that reflect being a part of something greater than myself.
Peoplewhoholdthisbeliefseekinnerharmonyandsalvation,maydreamofaworldofpeaceandbeauty,arehonest,andare
obedienttotheirspiritualbeliefs.Behavioralmanifestationsofthisvaluearereligiousactivitiessuchasgoingtochurch,
synagogue,temple,ormosque,worshippingormeditating,andvoicingbeliefs.Somepeoplewhodonotsubscribetoanyof
themajorreligionsoftheworldmayalsohaveahighlyprioritizedSpiritualityvalue.Thesepeoplemayfeelthattheyare
connectedtonatureorthecosmosinspiritualwaysandmayworshipthroughmeditation,trekstoplaceswithnaturalbeauty,
orbydevelopingconnectionswithotherhumanbeings.
Spiritualitydoesnotnecessarilyconflictwithothervalues.Conflictwithothersislikelyiftheirspiritualbeliefsaredevaluedorif
actionscontrarytothosebeliefsoccur.Conflictmayalsooccurifthedemandsofotherliferolesinterferewithactingonthe
Spiritualityvalue.
Being analytical
Page6of13
Peoplewhoholdthisvaluemayperceivethemselvestobelogical,intelligent,analytical,critical,curious,andprecise.They
mayperceivethemselvestohaveanalyticabilityandengageinscientificoranalyticalactivities.Theymayenjoylearningabout
scienceortechnology,workingwithcomputersorothertechnicalequipment,orsimplytalkingaboutscienceortechnology.
Stressoccursforthesepeoplewhentheyhavetofunctioninnon-orderly,non-analyticalways.ObjectiveAnalysistypicallydoes
notconflictwithothervalues.However,stressmayoccurifapersonwhoprizesObjectiveAnalysisisforcedintorolesthat
requireleadershipandpersuasiveactivities.
Medium/Low Priority
These values are of medium to low importance and I act on them occasionally.
Generallyspeaking,thesevaluesarenotasourceofstressforyoubecausetheoccasionalexpressionis
congruentwiththemediumtolowlevelofimportancetheyhavetoyou.Maintainingthesamelevelof
expressionisrecommendedforthevaluesinthiscategory,sobecautiousofopportunitiesthatmayleadto
increasedexpression.However,duringlifetransitionsitmaybehelpfultoreflectonthesevaluestoseeif
theyareshiftinginimportancetoyou.Itisalsorecommendedtounderstandhowyourviewofthesevalues
comparestopeoplearoundyou.Itmaybestressfultofeelaloneifothersgivehighimportancetothese
values.Gainingasenseofempathyforthosewhodeemthesevaluesasimportantandcommunicatingto
themwhyothervaluesareimportanttoyoucanallowfordiversitytobenefitrelationshipsandgroups.
INTERDEPENDENCE (8)
It is important to follow the expectations of my family, social group, team or organization.
Familyorgroupsecurityisimportanttopeoplewhoholdthisvalue.Theyarelikelytoperceivethemselvestobehelpful,
honest,loving,loyal,obedient,polite,andself-controlled.Behavioralexpressionsofthisvalueincludeconcernforfamilyor
workgroup,puttingtheneedsofthefamilyorgroupfirst,andadherencetofamilyorgrouptraditions.Stressoccurswhen
peoplewhoholdthisvaluebecometotallyboundbytraditionandareunabletoadapttochangesthatoccur.
InterdependencemayconflictwithIndependence.Interdependencerequiresconformitytotheexpectationsofotherswhile
Independencedictatesthatoneactonhisorhervolition.PeoplewhovaluebothInterdependenceandIndependencemay
stronglyconsidertheopinionsofothersbutchoosetodowhattheyfeelisrightforthemselvesinthelongrun.
Preserving nature
Page7of13
Protectingthenaturalbeautyoftheenvironmentisofutmostimportantforpeoplewhohighlyprioritizethisvalue.Theymay
alsoholdotheraltruisticbeliefssuchasequalityandworldpeace.Peoplewhoholdthisvaluetypicallyactonitbyengagingin
goodenvironmentalpractices,readingabouttheenvironment,andengaginginactivitiessuchasfundraisersfororganizations
thatadvocateforenvironmentalimprovement.
Peopleholdingthisvalueexperiencestresswhentheyperceivethatthenaturalbeautyoftheenvironmentisbeing
permanentlydamaged,andwhentheyarenotadvancingtheirgoalofimprovingtheenvironment.Conflictislikelybetween
peopleholdingthisvalueandpeoplewhoareeitherapatheticabouttheenvironmentorwhodeliberatelyengageinactsthat
harmordetractfromthenaturalbeautyoftheenvironment.Conflictmayalsooccurifpeoplewhohavedeep-seatedconcerns
abouttheenvironmentbecomeengagedinroles(e.g.workorleisure)thatprecludeorrestrictthemfromactingonthisvalue.
Page8of13
Work/Academics
Achievement(15)
Health&Activity(15)
Creativity(12)
ConcernforOthers(11)
Humility(10)
Responsibility(10)
Independence(9)
Spirituality(9)
FinancialProsperity(8)
Privacy(8)
ObjectiveAnalysis(7)
Relationships
Achievement(15)
Health&Activity(15)
Belonging(11)
ConcernforOthers(11)
Responsibility(10)
Spirituality(9)
ObjectiveAnalysis(7)
Leisure/CommunityActivities
Achievement(15)
Health&Activity(15)
Creativity(12)
Belonging(11)
Independence(9)
Privacy(8)
ObjectiveAnalysis(7)
Other
Page9of13
LimitedorNoExpression
Interdependence(8)
ConcernforEnvironment(7)
We express our values through our life roles . Since it is rare that one life
role satisfies all of our values, we often devote time and energy to
several roles. From your results, reflect on the following:
one role.
Forexample,itmaybeimportantto
Whatrole(s)willbethebestformof
expressBelonginginyourwork,
Forinstance,yourleisurerole
expressionofthatvalue?Howwill
leisureandrelationshipsroles.
maybetheonlytimeyou
anincreaseintimetowardthat
Theseusuallyreflectvaluesthat
expressyourHealth&Activity
valueaffectyourtimeandenergyin
arecentraltoyouridentityand
value.Itisessentialthatyou
otherroles?
requiremultipleformsofexpression
allowenoughtimeforthatrole
inordertobefulfilled.
sinceitistheonlytimethat
valuecanbeexpressed.
Use these results to gain a better understanding of how stress is manifested in your life.
Therearetwoformsofrole-relatedstress,inter-rolestressandintra-rolestress.Inter-rolestressisthestressyoufeelbetween
roleswhenthetimeandenergyyouspendinoneroleisinterferingwiththetimeyoucandevotetootherimportantroleswhere
othervaluesareexpressed.Intra-rolestressisthestressyoufeelwithinarolewhenthevaluesyouwantfulfilledinacertain
rolearenotbeingrewarded.Thestrategiesdiscussedinthesupplementon"Stress&EmotionalManagement"inStep5can
helpyoumanagetheseformsofstress.
Page10of13
STRATEGY 1
Oneofthecornerstonesofhealthyself-esteemisintegrity,behavingcongruentlywiththevaluesthatareimportanttoyou.Peoplewith
highself-esteemroutinelymonitorhowwelltheirbehavioralignswithwhat'simportanttothemanddevelopactionstepstobringbehavior
andvaluesclosertogether.InSteps1-3,youclarifiedyourcurrentvaluesandmadeadjustmentsforthenearfuture.Nowyouneedto
developspecificactionstepsorgoalsfortheseadjustments.Keepthemrealisticandtotallywithinyourcontrol.
Whatspecificactionswouldprovethatyouarebehavingaccordingtoyourvalues?Forexample,ifyoudecidedyouwantedtoincrease
timeandenergyinyourSpiritualityvalue,youmaychoosetocommitaspecificamountoftimeeachdayformeditation,prayer,reflection
oranaturewalk.Yourvalues-basedgoalsshouldbelessaboutoutcomes,whichyoucan'tcontrol,andmoreaboutactionsthatyoucan
completelycontrol.
Youshouldhaveonlyafewactionsteps.Besensitivetowhenyoufeelthatyouractionstepsareexceedingyouravailabletimeand
energy,orwhatyourenvironmentwillallow.Assumeyouarealready100percentcommitted,soifyouaregoingtodevotemoreenergyto
onevalue,youmustreducetimeandenergyforanothervalue.
Clarifyingandtryingtofollowtheseactionstepsincreasesoursenseofintegrityand,inturn,increasesoursenseofself-esteemand
resilience.
STRATEGY 2
BalanceWITHINValues.Tofeelasenseoffulfillment,youmustdevotetimeandenergytoimportantvalues-uptoapoint.Yourvalues
arelikeadouble-edgedsword.Theyareaprimarydeterminantoflifesatisfaction,buttheyarealsoamajorsourceofstress.Ifyouoverexpressavalue,youwillfeelthecostorstressassociatedwithitbecauseitisbecomingapsychologicalneed-a"haveto,"orperhapsa
compulsion-attheexpenseofotherimportantvalues.
Oneofthemostimportantfactorsinfosteringsuccess(asdefinedbyfulfillment,productivity,andresilience)istocommittoabalanced
expressionofeachvalue.Inthefirstsectionofthisreport,youfamiliarizedyourselfwiththedescriptionofeachvalueandlearnedhow
yourvaluescancausebothfulfillmentandstress.Usethisinformationtolearnwhenexpressingyourimportantvaluesmovesyoufrom
fulfillmenttostress.Acommitmenttobalancedexpressionofyourvaluesresultsinmorefulfillment.
ManagingtheInteractionBETWEENValues.Reviewtheprimaryvaluesthatfrequentlyguideyourbehavior.Youwillnoticethatsomeof
thosevaluesarecomplementary-theexpressionofonehelpstheexpressionofanother.Weusuallyexperiencethisinteractionaseither
amplifiedfulfillmentorsynergybecauseoneactioncanfulfillmorethanonevalue.Forexample,thesensitivesupportyoumayprovidea
friendinneedcanfulfillbothConcernforOthersandBelonging.
However,youmaynoticethatthereareconflictingvaluesamongyourtopvalues,suchasIndependenceandBelonging,orIndependence
andInterdependence.Youwillfeelthisconflictintheformofstressortension.Decisionmakingcanbestressfulwhenoneopportunity
fulfillsonevaluewhileanotheropportunityfulfillstheconflictingvalue.Whenyoumakeadecisionthatfulfillsonevaluebutconflictswith
another,you'llfeelacertainambivalenceorperceived"wrongness"associatedwithsacrificinganimportantvalue.Notacceptingor
managingthisambivalencecanleadtochronicindecision.
Toeffectivelymanageconflictingvalues,youmustrespectwhythesevaluesareimportanttoyouandstrivetoexpresstheminamanner
thatcorrespondswiththeirrankings.Yourdecisionsandactionsshouldreflectbalancedexpressioninsteadofanall-or-nothing
approach.Thisbalanceisanalogoustoseeingtimeandenergyasweightsthatyoucarefullyaddtobothsidesofascaletokeepthemin
Page11of13
balance,asopposedtoaseesawapproach,inwhichyoualternatebetweencompleteexpressionofonevalueatthesacrificeofthe
other.Forexample,ifBelongingandIndependencearetwoimportantvalues,findseparateactivitiesthatwillcurrentlyfulfillbothvalues.
Don'tdevoteexcessivetimetoBelongingatthesacrificeofIndependence,thenshiftwhenyoufeeltheurgentneedtocompletelyreverse
theexpression.Balancedexpressionhelpsyougainanappreciationandemotionaltoleranceforthehealthytensionthatexistsbetween
yourconflictingvalues,ratherthanperceivingthistensionasaproblem.Thiscannotbedonepassively,butwithactivemanagement,you
canbecomeveryskilledatmaintainingafulfillingbalancebetweenconflictingvalues.
STRATEGY 3
Tomakethebestdecisions,committogivingyourselfa24-hourpausebeforeyousay"yes"toanyopportunity.Whenopportunitiesarise
thattouchourvalues,wearevulnerabletosaying"yes"toallofthemwithoutmuchregardforourcurrenttimecommitments.Wealso
tendtounderestimatetheadditionaltimerequiredfornewopportunities.
Asopportunitiespresentthemselves,taketimetoreflectonwhetheryourdecisionismorealignedwithyouradjustedvaluesrankingsor
yourcurrentrankings.Trytotakeadvantageofopportunitiesthatcomeyourwaytoshiftyourbehaviortobemorecongruentwithyour
adjustedrankings.
Considerthebalancewithinandbetweenyourvalues.Willtakingonthisnewopportunitycauseyoutolosebalancewithinavalueand
resultinover-expressionofonevalueattheexpenseofotherimportantvalues?Willyoulosebalancebetweenconflictingvalues?
Committoopportunitiesthatarecongruentwithyourmostimportantvaluesbutalsocommittomanagingthemwitharealisticappraisal
ofyouravailabletimeandenergy.Thebasisforgooddecisionmakingisvaluescongruencyandenergymanagement,notwhetheryour
decisionresultedinagoodoutcome.Ifagoodoutcomeresultsfromyourvalues-baseddecisions,it'stobeappreciated,butnottobe
usedasthecriterionforevaluatingyourdecision.
STRATEGY 4
Thefollowingisafive-stepprocessthatincorporateswhatyouhavelearnedaboutyourvaluesintoadailyplan.Pleaserefertothe
supplement"OptimalSelf-Leadership"foradescriptionastowhythisplanishelpful.
Step1:Values.Atthebeginningofeachday,askyourself,"Whatisthemostrightwayformetodevotemytimeandenergytoday?"The
word"right"isintendedtotapintothevaluesyouhaveclarified,butinthecontextofaday.Theanswerononedaymaybeaboutbalance,
doingsomethinginallthethingsthatareimportanttoyou.Onedayitmaybemoresingularandfocusedonanimportantproject.On
anotherdayitmaybeaboutrest.Whateveritis,usetheconceptof"rightness"totapintoyourvalues.Thisprocessdoesn'thavetobe
longandstructured.Itcanbeshortandintuitive,whileyouaregettingreadyforyourday.
Step2:Acceptanceand"Can."Usually,youwillreacttotheanswerfromStep1withuncertaintyastowhetheryoucangetitalldone.If
youfeelatwingeofdoubt,you'reprobablyright.Reducetheactivitiesuntilyoufeelasenseofconfidenceandamindsetof"Icandothis."
Step3:ExpressionandEngagement.Onceyouhaveyour"cando"listofvalues-basedbehaviors,youfocusonexpressingthose
activitiestherestoftheday.Thedayisaboutbeingfullyengagedintheexpressionofyourtalentandenergy,withcourageand
commitment.
Step4:Appreciation.Atsomepointneartheendoftheday,spendacoupleofminutesappreciatingwhatyoudidandwhy.Thismay
soundalittletouchy-feelyforsome.However,thereisaverypracticalreasonfordoingthis.Attheendoftheday,wemostnaturallythinkof
thethingsthatdidn'tgetdoneandwhatweneedtodotomorrowtomakeupforit.Thistriggersanoverlyevaluative,orjudging,mindset
andnegativelyaffectsourmotivationandstresslevel.Takingacoupleofminutestoappreciatewhatyoudidandwhycountersthis
negativeprocess.Wealreadyknowwhatdidn'tgetdone.Inaddition,thisstepallowsustoseehowunexpectedeventsprovided
opportunitiesforvalues-congruentbehavior.Forinstance,wemayhaveplannedtodevotetimetoanimportantprojectbutendedup
devotingtimetoafriendwhounexpectedlycalledincrisis.Itisimportanttoappreciatethevaluesthatarebehindthatbehavior.Thisisnot
intendedtobeaself-lovefest,butamomenttotaketimetoappreciatethecourageyouexhibitedbycommittingtovalues-basedbehavior.
MartinLutherKing,Jr.oftenspokeoftheheroismassociatedwithlivingcongruentlywithourvaluesonadailybasis.Thisstepisintended
tobeaformofself-managementandself-encouragementforourdifficultefforts.
Step5:Analysis.Afterspendingtimeappreciatingwhatyoudidduringtheday,askyourself"WhatisonethingIcanlearnfromtodaythat
willhelpmetomorrow?"Thishelpsuscontinuetogrowandimprove.Thisprocessisanalysis-whichisnotthesameasevaluation.
Page12of13
Analysisisanauthenticwaytolearnandself-improveevaluationistoopersonal-weprocessitasgood-badorsuccess-failure.For
example,wemaylookbackatthedayandrealizethatwefellshortofaparticulargoal.Evaluatingouractionsmaycauseustoconclude
thatwewerelazy(orsomeotherverynegative,personallabel).Thisprocessonlyservestonegativelyaffectourmotivationandmakeus
vulnerabletorepeatingthesamebehavior.Thinkinganalytically,wecanlookatthesituation,trytounderstandthefactorsthatinfluenced
ourbehavior(e.g.,wetookontoomuchtoday,weletfeargetintheway,somethingunanticipatedhappenedthatwasmoreimportant),
andtrytolearnfromtheexperience.Afteryouhaveappreciatedandlearnedfromyourday,youcanmentallyflushthestressoftheday
withaclearconscience,helpingyousleepbetterandfullyrestoringyourbodyandmind.
STRATEGY 5
Fromthisvaluesclarificationprocess,wehopethatyouhavediscoveredanimportantpointaboutstress.Muchofthestresswefeelis
connectedatsomeleveltothethingswebelieveareimportant.Wecan'tfeelanxiousaboutthingsthatareunimportanttous.Ifweview
stressasaproblemthatneedstoberemovedfromourlives,thenwemayalsoberemovingareasthatarecentraltoourfulfillment.For
example,youcouldgetyourfeelingshurtlessifyoucaredless,butifyouvalueBelongingorConcernforOthers,youwillfeelthelossof
notexpressingthatvalue.
Wearenaturallyinclinedtowardphysicalcomfort.Thiscanalsoleadustoplaceprimaryimportanceonemotionalcomfort.Iftheprimary
guidetoyourlifeisemotionalcomfort,youwillmakedecisionsandacttoreduceanyuncomfortableemotions,suchasfear,boredom,
hurt,oranxiety.Butthismayalsocomeatacost:lessmeaningandfulfillment.Ifyouplaceprimaryimportanceonmeaningbycommitting
toactonyourvalues,thecostmaybeperiodicstressanddiscomfortassociatedwithhavingtomanagethosevalues.Weallhavetimes
whenweneedabreakfromstressanddiscomfort,butthere'sadistinctionbetweenprimaryversussecondaryfocus.Fulfillment,
productivity,andresilienceareoptimizedwhencommitmenttoourvaluesisprimaryandemotionalcomfortissecondary.Thisconceptis
furtherexploredinthesupplement"OptimalSelf-Leadership."
Dedicatingyourselftoavalues-centeredlifeprovidestheopportunityforexcellenceandfulfillment.Butitalsomeansyouarededicating
yourselftosomethingthatishard.It'snotcomplicated,justhard.That'swhypositivechangerequirescourageandcommitment.Youhave
tocrossthatemotionalhurdleofacceptingthefightofdoingsomethinghard.Fortunately,ifyouacceptthefightandseektointentionally
devoteyourtimeandenergytoyourvalues,youremotionalreactiontothefightdecreasesandfeelslesspainful.
Whilepositivechangeisultimatelyourownresponsibility,supportcanhelpusfromfeelingaloneinthefight.Growthcomesfroma
balanceofchallengeandsupport.Helpfulsupportforpositivechangetendstocomeintheformofpeople,faithandstructure.The
supportoffriends,lovedones,and/orprofessionalscanprovideencouragementandperspective.Youmayfindthatprayer,meditation,or
reflectionconsistentwithyourspiritualbeliefscanhelpyoumaintainfaithandhope.Youmayalsofindthatacertainleveloforganization
orstructuretoyourdayhelpscreatearhythmandroutinewhenyouaretryingtointernalizechange.Whatevercombinationofsupport
feelsmosthelpful,itisimportanttodevelopthatsupportbeforeyoubeginyourpersonaldevelopmentprogram.
Tocontinuelearningvalues-basedstrategiesforspecificlifeissues,proceedtoStepFive.
Page13of13