Literature Review Writing Samples

This handout contains both good and poor examples of critical components to a literature review: a thesis
statement, an introduction, a body paragraph, and a conclusion. In their attempts to increase their own writing
proficiency, smart students will look at both good and poor examples of writing so that they can learn what to
do and what not do. Use this handout to be one of those smart students. Page 621 of your First-Year Writing
textbook contains an A-level Draft 1.1 that was submitted last year.
Your Draft 1.1 handout explains in depth strategies for writing each paragraph of your literature review. After
you have read and comprehended that handout, juxtapose the good and poor examples below of each critical
literature review component so that you can increase your chances of producing a well written literature review.
Thesis Statement
Poor example: The socioeconomic status of students impacts the educational reformation of standardized
testing and school district accountability.
Good example: While definite conclusions have yet to be made, research is beginning to recognize the social
benefits of playing massively multiplayer online video games.
Introduction Paragraph
Poor example: Education is a gift. It has evolved from English Learning schools in colonial times to specialized
private charter schools that accept only the brightest young minds. With every decade there is a new philosophy
to satisfy the latest learning fad. Unfortunately many students cannot keep up with these changes due to the
circumstances in which they are born into. All children do not receive the same opportunities of intellectual
development as others. Often this is caused by the socioeconomic status of the childs parents. These students
are thrown an intellectual curveball that is hard to catch. This situation affects a childs learning ability and
ultimately is translated through poor test scores, which is how school districts are evaluated on their
performance. The socioeconomic status of students impacts the educational reformation of standardized testing
and school district accountability.
Good example: In 2014, NASA reported a budget of $17,646,500. While this may seem like a massive amount
to some, it was under half of one percent of the federal budget for the 2014 fiscal year. The low level of
attention given towards our space program leads some to question how much it matters in a turbulent social and
economic climate. However, scholars have demonstrated there are many benefits derived from space
exploration that affect everyone, not just those involved with science and technology. Research exploring
justifications for expanding space exploration in the modern era focus primarily on a proven track record of
historical benefits as well as new advancements and industries that are already prepared to take advantage of
new developments. Additionally, research provides many examples of indirect effects that will return benefits in
other areas, regardless of the level of return from direct space exploration efforts.
Body Paragraph
Poor example: School districts are mainly concerned with the progress of students. Factors that impede student
success must be assessed and reported back to the state. In many instances, low SES is the contributing factor of
poor academic performance (Dickinson and Adelson, 1). One way of following these differences in
performance is through a process called tracking, which is a way to sort students based on academic
performance. Tracking can be a useful practice, however low SES students are more likely to be tracked which
can hinder their own intellectual stimulation based on the level of reach a school district is willing to extend
(Lam, 328). Sometimes administrators can separate students making it difficult for them to gain the motivation
to excel and reach the same academic level as their peers. Yet there could be a reverse effect that administrators
refuse to separate students making them feel inferior because of their lower academic performance. In this case,

students can be intimidated and feel like they are actually a hindrance to the class. The teacher can avoid all of
these scenarios with good classroom management. Another way to identify low SES students is to look at the
percentage of families that qualify for free or reduced lunches (Prater, et. al., 4). By identifying these factors,
Administrators can work to implement programs and offer resources to the community.
Good example: While scholars have demonstrated that MMOs can provide gamers with meaningful social
interactions, researchers have shown that the anonymity of these interactions can produce relationships that are
more transient and less meaningful than real world relationships. In one study, a group of researchers
demonstrate that communication that occurs over the Internet provides access to a wide range of short-term
relationships and other weak social ties because the Internet provides more possibilities for social interaction
and relationship by crossing time, geography, and space limit (Constant, 2008). In other study, Mesch and his
colleagues (2011) demonstrate how online friends discuss fewer topics and participate in fewer shared activities
than real world friends. Similar to Constants findings, he and his colleagues conclude that online civic
engagements differ from offline civic engagements in patterns of participation. Building off of this research,
Seong-Jae Min (2012) hypothesizes that these short-term relationships occur more frequently in online
interactions because online interactions involve less risks and those relationships can involve a larger number of
participants since there are no geographic boundaries.
Conclusion Paragraph
Poor example: After reading this literature review, you can see why the socioeconomic status of students plays
an important role in the educational reformation of standardized testing and school district accountability.
Without a doubt, students who have low SES are more likely to exhibit low standardized test scores. There is an
abundance of data to support the research that is discussed throughout this essay and it is important to recognize
the factors that contribute to SES in order to provide more resources and assistance to help break the cycle of
poverty.
Good example: Research providing justifications for expanding space exploration in the modern era focus
primarily on a proven track record of historical benefits as well as new advancements and industries that are
already prepared to take advantage of new developments. Additionally, research provides many examples of
indirect effects that will return benefits in other areas, regardless of the level of return from direct space
exploration efforts. When asking about the relevance of space exploration in the modern era, researchers can
point to a record of benefits delivered on in the past, effects in the present both monetary and abstract, and an
industry ready to reach new heights. Although researchers agree that the cost to achieve these new heights is
large, space programs are doing all they can to minimize it, and the benefits will be so much larger for it.