For my revision of my Rhetorical analysis, I will be using multiple kinds of revision strategies.

My first strategy for revision will be to translate my rhetorical meanings into a better form of
communication. This can be done by reviewing your meanings and attempting to find another
way to express that meaning in a form of communication that is more clear. My next strategy for
revision will be to manage my repetition in my paper. Many times when I write I repeat myself
both directly and indirectly. By managing my repition I can include the necessary repetition that
is used as emphasis and exclude the repetition that takes away from the argument and hurts my
paper. As for another revision strategy I will be forming a revision framework, based off of my
argument. While reviewing the content of my research and rhetoric, I will look for different
aspects that I could put into the question of them helping to prove my argument. By looking over
my work again I will be able to more successfully conclude if the content that I am putting forth
will aid my argument. Then by categorically separating the useful from the useless, I can
eliminate information that does not satisfy and make my paper flow with a strong argument.
Revision Strategy ExamplesFor my first draft of my Rhetorical Analysis I had provided a vast amount of background
information about the passage and strayed away from the Rhetorical analysis of the source. I
was able to manage my analysis better by changing or removing the extraneous information
and transforming it into constructive analysis. The aided in the goal of the analysis and made
the piece flow better.
As for the second addition of my Rhetorical Analysis, I was able to control a great deal of
repetition I commonly was using. I was frequently bringing up information about Green
technology, that while was good analysis, was brought up several times and was not influential
repetition. All the repetition was doing was bringing up the same facts and analysis. By
managing this better my analysis was much better controlled and kept on a consistent track.

Revised Piece

For this response I will be Rhetorically analyzing a source from my Annotated Bibliography by
Susan Krumdieck. The piece is called Transition Engineering: Planning and Building the
Sustainable World and focuses on discussing Transitional Engineering and its necessity.
Krumdieck writes this piece in attempt to get people to take up the complex matters of pollution
and begin to form a sense of global sustainability. Her analysis of the global pollution state is a
holistic review of the community. She claims that when matters are brought to large Global
Firms attention, little is ever done because the firms usually end up doing nothing about the issue
due to their inability to get the project done perfectly. She states in return that even though these
are complex issues, Engineers must begin to look to the future to do anything they can to help
prepare or transition into a sustainable environment. Krumdieck utilizes a great deal of logos to
help show the reader that it is not only necessary to take the steps she is putting forward but it is
also vital to the longevity of the Earths survival. This does also tie into an ethos appeal in that

she is making the reader think about the future they want and what needs to happen in the
environmental community in order to achieve this desired future. Krumdieck uses a urgent and
serious tone in this piece of work to emphasize the importance of the situation and work that
needs to be done. This shows the reader just how imperative it is that they listen to and take her
seriously. This is a very good tone to have when talking about the Engineering and
Environmental community, a community that puts their whole life toward the advancement of
humanity. In using this tone, Engineers reading this will be inclined to follow her and work
towards a strong state of Transition Engineering.
Overall the author uses the idea of Transition Engineering to entice Engineers around the
world to follow her strategy of progression. She is in an attempt to save the Earth from further
pollution harm by refining Engineering globally. She provides strong evidence that supports the
necessity to have the Engineers of the world collaborate on a Optimization project to generate a
sustainable earth. She sees the reader as an ally that had the potential to be convinced by her
argument to work toward Transitional Engineering. Her argument ultimately is to help all people
of the Earth but is aimed at the specific people who have the skillset and ability to get her ideas
done.
*** Reading Response 17 addition
In the text Krumdieck uses multiple examples of what Transitional Engineering could
incorporate. She shows that industries like Pollution Prevention and Waste Management are
very dynamic sectors and require constant attention and upkeep. She shows that when large
Engineering firms get ahold of projects for these industries, they typically do little to nothing
productive to them seeing it as too difficult or not profitable enough. Krumdieck uses her
knowledge to try and persuade the reader and Engineering Firms that they must begin to do
what they can and put profit aside on a Global scale in order to see productive change made on
the Earth.
She pushes for people to begin making Green Technology to jumpstart the fight against
pollution. She shows that if we begin a Global establishment of Green technology, the
foundation for the implementation of Transitional Engineering will be much faster and smooth.
This being said we must first take the first step as a Global community and come together to
ensure that Transitional Engineering has a chance for a startup and has enough time to flourish.
Krumdieck bring together the many pieces necessary for the Global Community to achieve its
goal. By providing out the necessary requirements for institutions to follow, we can as a society
analyze her work and begin to form a movement around her model of Transitional Engineering.
Krumdieck uses Transitional Engineering as a goal for all people to achieve, motivating them to
get it is where her analyzation comes in. She uses this strategy to jumpstart a new form of
looking at the Engineering process that is currently in place. The author can see that what is in
place now just won't do and is making it her personal goal to help the community become
organized and ultimately be able to generate a self sustaining environment.