USE OF SELF IN PRACTICE

Assignment: Assignment One (Use of Self in Practice)

Name: Kate Morden
Instructor: Aurrora De Monte
Course: Case Management COUN 80
Date: Sunday, February 7th, 2016 (LATE)

USE OF SELF IN PRACTICE

Purpose
As stated in the outline of this assignment, the purpose of this paper is to assess
the use of Self as a core component of management and practice, and evaluate previous
case management practice.
Method
To assess the use of Self in previous practice, including the assessment and
interventions used, I will reflect upon previous experiences of working with young
people during my first and second placement, and then compare these with my
experiences in my third (current) placement. Many of the children and youth that I
work(ed) with in previous/current practice display(ed) pain-based behaviours, such as
verbal and physical aggression, impulsivity, defiance, withdrawing, running away, injury
to self and/or others, emotional triggers, etc.
Meaning-making Process
Over the years, the subject of meaning-making, referring to how one makes
meaning of ones experiences, has been a primary focus in Child and Youth Care (CYC)
practice (Garfat, 2004). Meaning-making can also be described as an action that occurs
and is then interpreted (Garfat, 2004). Once the action is interpreted, another action
follows based on that interpretation, and so on, repeating itself in a continuous flow
of action and interpretation between one person and another (Garfat, 2004). It is said,
that culture, personal history, sequencing, and specific circumstance play an important
role in influencing the meaning-making process that one engages in (Garfat, 2004). To
further explain the influence of such, in the proceeding paragraph, I will explain how my
own personal history has influenced my work with young people in previous practice.

USE OF SELF IN PRACTICE

Having experienced trauma and abuse in the past, in which my boundaries were
crossed and violated multiple times, caused me to develop unhealthy, blurry and weak
boundaries with my Self and others as a child, adolescent and young adult. This made it
extremely difficult and overwhelmingly stressful for me to set boundaries with the young
people I was working with in previous placements. When I attempted to set limits or
apply disciplinary actions with children and youth based on the rules and expectations of
an agency, I lacked confidence, strength, firmness, assertiveness and consistency; this led
to many unsuccessful attempts of boundary setting. Whenever I had tried to set a personal
or professional boundary and was not successful in getting a young person to listen to or
respect me, it would trigger flashbacks and painful memories of times in which I was not
listened to or respected by others in my past. Furthermore, when a young person
responded to me with defiance, anger, resentment, or a raised tone of voice, I interpreted
these altercations as strictly negative that it was my fault, I was not loved, valued or
appreciated, and it was because of who I was as a person/worker. There were also many
moments where I was not able to assert myself to even attempt to set limits and
boundaries with young people, especially when my boundaries were crossed. In these
situations, I typically froze and became extremely agitated and anxious. The meaningmaking I made from these encounters was that I was weak, inadequate, broken,
damaged, worthless and underserving, which brought back similar feelings that I
experienced during and after my abuse anger, pain, fear, powerlessness, helplessness,
hopelessness, shame and guilt. This caused me to further believe that I was solely the
reason as to why my boundaries were tested, crossed and violated.
Robert Kegan (1982) also states that meaning-making evolves over the period of

USE OF SELF IN PRACTICE

ones life span through different stages, otherwise known as systems; thus, this led to
the introduction of his constructive-developmental theory, which explains the complexity
of human, specifically adult, development (Modlin, 2005). The most common
developmental stages found in adulthood are Socialized and Self-Authoring (Modlin,
2005). Within the Socialized stage, individuals experience others as responsible for their
feelings and assume responsibility for the feelings of others (Modlin, 2005). These
individuals are concerned with abstract psychological consequences, questioning
whether or not they are a good person, they are meeting others expectations, people love
and value them as a person, they belong, etc. (Modlin, 2005). In addition, they have
little tolerance for ambiguity and rely on external figures for standards, values,
acceptance, belonging, and sense of identity (Modlin, 2005). They experience criticism
as destructive to the Self; thus, if others do not like what they said/did/are it means they
are not a good person (Modlin, 2005). This is a prime example of the developmental
stage I was at in previous placements, as demonstrated in the previous paragraph, as my
self-esteem and self-worth was strictly dependent upon others views of and reactions to
me another example of the meaning-making process that occurred for me.
Though this was the developmental stage I was at in previous practice, I would
like to take a moment to reflect upon my growth and development as a CYC student, as I
progressively move from the Socialized stage to the Self-Authoring stage. Within the
Self-Authoring stage of development, individuals develop a stronger sense of identity and
autonomy, no longer defining themselves based on the opinions and expectations of
others (Modlin, 2005). Instead, they determine their sense of Self through their own
internal authority and have the ability to differentiate the Self from others, and others

USE OF SELF IN PRACTICE

from their points of view (Modlin, 2005). At this stage, individuals take responsibility
for and ownership of their own Self (Modlin, 2005). While those in the Socialized stage
are concerned with abstract psychological consequences, individuals in this stage are
focused on consequences relating to their own personal integrity and meeting their own
standards, questioning whether they are competent, living up to their full potential,
practicing their values and standards, etc. (Modlin, 2005). When these individuals
experience conflict, a difference in opinion, or receive criticism and feedback, they use
these as opportunities to learn and grow (Modlin, 2005). In previous practice, neither of
these attributes of the Self-Authoring stage listed above was existent for me, as my sense
of identity was extremely weak. However, this is not so much the case in my current
practice, as I have developed a stronger sense of identity, and thus, my sense of Self is no
longer defined by others, but rather from my own internal authority my own Self
(Modlin, 2005). In the example provided in the paragraph above, my unsuccessful
attempts at boundary setting and/or a young persons disapproval of me was interpreted
by me as being inadequate and incompetent as a person, whereas if/when this occurs now,
I know, in my soul, that this does not make me any less of a person; rather, their
(re)actions to me are simply a reflection of what is going on in their world. As well, I am
now able to take these unsuccessful attempts as opportunities to learn and grow from,
whereas in the past I would interpret this as a threat or sign of failure (Goleman, 1998).
Management and Leadership Skills
When intervening in relationships with young people, management and leadership
skills are often demonstrated. In the article, What Makes a Leader?, Goleman (1998)
states that emotional intelligence is an important feature of leaders. He then goes on to

USE OF SELF IN PRACTICE

explain the five components to emotional intelligence, which are: self-awareness, selfregulation, motivation, empathy, and social skill (Goleman, 1998). Reflecting back to
previous placement experiences, I demonstrated the component of self-awareness;
though, only to an extent. For instance, in my previous explanation of how my personal
history and experiences influenced my work with young people, I was well aware of my
weaknesses, challenges, limitations, emotional triggers and fears, and was able to reflect
upon them and notice how they negatively impacted my performance. Though I did
demonstrate self-awareness at the time, it was not necessarily a strength of mine.
Goleman (1998) explains that highly self-aware people know their strengths, are neither
overly critical nor unrealistically hopeful, have a thirst for constructive criticism, are
self-confident, and know their capabilities. In previous placements, I was unaware of my
strengths, extremely self-critical, unconfident and unrealistic, and I took constructive
criticism as a sign of failure and not being good enough.
In my current placement, however, this has changed significantly. I am now aware
of my strengths and what makes me unique as an individual, my inner-dialogue has
become more positive, my confidence is continuing to grow, and I am now open to
constructive criticism, as I am constantly yearning to learn, grow and improve. Many of
the other components of emotional intelligence self-regulation, motivation, and social
skill were lacking in previous practice, however, over the years I have learned to be
more in control of my emotions, have found my passion and purpose that fuels my
motivation, and as my relationship with the Self has improved, so have my social skills
and relationships with others. This has assisted me in developing positive rapport with the
young people I work with in my current placement, whereas in past placements I

USE OF SELF IN PRACTICE

experienced extreme difficulty trying to form healthy, meaningful connections.

Furthermore, I rarely ever took on a management and leadership role; for example, in
previous placements I have taken on more of an observational role, shadowing CYCs,
whereas now I am more self-reliant, independently working with children/youth and
seeking supervision when needed.
Use of Self
The definition of Self in Child and Youth Care literature has evolved over the
years (Garfat & Charles, 2007). In the past, the term mostly related to the presentation of
Self, such as how one looked and acted; however, it now involves our values, beliefs,
and characteristics (Garfat & Charles, 2007). Knowing these aspects about ourselves can
and will assist us in noticing, reflecting and being self-aware of how they may influence
our judgments, interpretations, thoughts, feelings and behaviour and overall, the work
that we do (Garfat & Charles, 2007). As a CYC practitioner, it is highly important to
know self, to be aware of self, and to understand the role of self in therapeutic
relationships with others (Garfat & Charles, 2007). Thom Garfat and Grant Charles
(2007) state that the Self is not a tool, a technique or a strategy, but rather a way of
being; being in awareness, being present. This way of being the Self provides
individuals with the opportunity to connect with one another (Garfat & Charles, 2007).
Frances Rick (2001) quoted that without self there is no other, meaning that our
relationships and engagement with others define (and redefine) who we are, as they
continually construct meaning in our lives (Garfat & Charles, 2007). With this said, as I
reflect back to previous practice and my use of Self in past interventions, my Self did
not exist or rather it did, but I was unaware of it. This is because I did not know who I

USE OF SELF IN PRACTICE

was, or what my values, beliefs, and characteristics were. As Garfat and Charles (2007)
state, this lack of awareness can have negative consequences for those around us. For
instance, not knowing the Self significantly impacted my ability to engage, and form
connections and relationships with the young people I was working with, including my
colleagues and supervisors. I, too, was unaware of how my views about the world, Self
and others manifested into my work through expression and action (Garfat & Charles,
2007). In the article, How am I who I am?, written by Thom Garfat and Grant Charles, it
mentions that who we are shows up in how we are. This quote is a primary example
of what occurred for me during my interventions with young people in previous practice,
as my unawareness of the Self my values, beliefs, and characteristics including my
self-destructive, negative attitude and mindset, severely impacted my work performance.
As well, it negatively impacted my meaning-making process, and the ability to utilize my
management and leadership skills in relationships and interventions.
Within the last couple of years, however, circumstances have changed. For
instance, because I did not know the Self, I began asking the question Who am I?,
which, as Garfat (2007) states, is one of the most fundamental reflective questions for
the Child and Youth Care practitioner. As I asked this question, I began finding answers,
and eventually, I began to learn, know, be aware of, and understand the Self, including
my values, beliefs, and characteristics aspects of the Self that I was not entirely sure or
aware of in the past (Garfat & Charles, 2007). By knowing my true Self, I have become
aware of my strengths, as well as my weaknesses; my limitations, as well as my
advantages; my fears, as well as my desires. I have also become aware of the attributes in
my personality that assist me in succeeding, and those that hinder my performance.

USE OF SELF IN PRACTICE

Knowing the Self has assisted me in making use of the Self in my current practice, in a
way that I have not been able to do in the past. For example, as my sense of identity
continues to strengthen, I am improving in my ability to utilize my Self, strengths and
uniqueness in CYC practice. Consequently, this has assisted me in engaging in more
meaningful conversations, connections and relationships with the people I work with, and
better supporting young people in need. In addition, it has positively influenced and
changed my way of perceiving, interpreting and interacting with the world and those we
encounter (Garfat & Charles, 2007). As Garfat & Charles (2007) state: When other
experiences genuine connectedness in an encounter with another human being, the door
is opened for an alternative way of being and relating in the world; a way of being in
relationship that includes being with self. Thus, it is imperative that we, as CYC
practitioners, deeply and truly explore the Self, as the Self and other are inseparable
(Garfat & Charles, 2007).

USE OF SELF IN PRACTICE

10
References

Anglin, J.P. (2014). Child and youth care is not rocket science: its FAR more complex
than that! Relational Child and Youth Care Practice, 27(2), 58-62.
Brockett, S. & Anderson-Nathe, B. (2013). If Ida thrown that chair at you, it woulda hit
you: Seeing difficult behaviours through the lens of meaning and resilence.
Relational Child and Youth Practice, 26(2), 6-11.
Garfat, T. & Charles, G. (2007). How am I who I am? Relational Child and Youth Care
Practice, 20(3), 6-16.
Garfat, T. & Fulcher, L. (2011). Characteristics of a child and youth care approach.
Relational Child and Youth Care Practice, 24(1-2), 7-19.
Garfat, T., Fulcher, L., & Digney, J. (2013). Relational Child and Youth Care Practice,
26(4), 87.
Garfat, T. (2004). Meaning-making and intervention in child and youth care practice.
Scottish Journal of Residential Child Care, 3(1), 9-16.
Goleman, D. (1998). What makes a leader? Harvard Business Review, 76(6), 1-11.
Modlin, H. (2005). Meaning-making: Another perspective. Relational Child and Youth
Care Practice, 26(3), 5-13.