Hoffman1

Lauren Hoffman
Ms. Thomas
UWRT 1102
15 February 2015

Why are you Crying?: The Grieving Process--A proposal

I believe that the second draft of my proposal deserves a 96 because I have worked very hard
to perfect it. I have all of the questions that are necessary answered and they flow throughout
my paper well. My paper engaged readers, as well as made them interested about my topic. I
demonstrate common knowledge and thoughtful analysis throughout my inquiry and I think that
overall is a good paper.

In reflection on my work, I feel like my paper overall is very strong. There are certain areas of
the paper that could use more work, but in general I like the flow of my paper. My grammar in
some areas needs correction, but I found as many errors as I could without the help of my
peers. To find more questions that go along with my topic might be difficult because it is so
broad. Although it might be difficult, I am ready to challenge myself, my writing skills, and my
critical thinking as I begin researching on such a deep topic. I am most excited to learn about
this topic because it has a lot of relevance to society and my hope is to reflect that in my writing.
In reflection I decided to take a deeper approach to my topic, rather than just scientific
evidence. I think that it will add voice to my inquiry. Throughout my paper I challenged myself in
completing thoughtful analysis and it is to my belief that I did good job of doing so. With critical
reflection, many changes have been made and will continue to weigh heavy on the writing
process.

Hoffman2
Grief is a process, not a state. Anne Grant
A Scottish writer and poet of many works.
Imagine this: you are waking up from a good nights sleep expecting to have a normal
day. Through the fog in your eyes, you see 13 missed calls from your best friends mom.
Nervous as to why she would call so many times, you frantically decide to call her back. When
she answers the phone, you can hear in her voice that something is wrong; your entire mood
then shifts. There is a long silence on the other end of the phone. She then utters the words,
He/she is on life support. You spend a full week at your best friends bedside reminiscing in
beloved memories while holding their hand and just talking to them. You watch their chest as the
ventilator pushes it up and down, and feel your tears slide down your face only to see them
smack onto the white bed sheet beneath them. Seconds feel like hours and minutes feel like
days; you just want them to wake up. At the end of the week, your best friend, a loved one, is
gone forever. For many people, this awful nightmare is a reality. Throughout the next year and
for the rest of your life, you will grieve. In order to understand the process in which we grieve,
you must understand why we experience grief and the steps that our minds and bodies
experience to recover.
Maybe you have witnessed what is commonly known as steps to dealing with loss. You
or someone you know may have lost a close family member, a friend, or even a pet and you
were able to not just see, but experience loss. Deep down from within, there is a welling
emotion, a special gift that you might not know is there yet--grief. You would not know that it is
there, because on the outside it looks destructive. When you hear the word grief, what do you
think of? It is defined as deep sorrow especially in the response to ones death. The phrase
grieving process is defined as a natural reaction to loss. The two go hand-in-hand. When
many people hear the phrase, they automatically assume that the person experiencing this
natural phenomenon is emotionally unstable and extremely angry all the time; but is this true? A
bigger, more relevant question in todays society is, does the grieving process actually look the

Hoffman3
same for every person and what are the effects on a general life and life span of a person who
experiences it? For some people, they know exactly what it can do as they may have lost a
loved one and for months went through stages of what can tear a person apart. Although they
did not understand the steps that they were experiencing, grief was like a tidal wave of
emotions. They dont know there are scientific explanations as to why our bodies go through
this. In fact, there are five steps that have been identified and have been proven through
research that can have long term effects on our general health and life span.
As far as the five steps of the process go, they are extremely complex. Elisabeth Kbler
Ross stated that there are five steps in which humans grieve in order to recover from death and
to cope with loss. These steps include: Isolation and denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and
acceptance. These stages are universal and people from all backgrounds experience these
stages. All of the steps have their own meaning and relevance to the process that explain why
people act the way that they do while under such difficult circumstances. Although many times
the grieving process is brought upon a person after the death of a loved one, it is associated
with many different kinds of loss such as: loss of a job, loss of a pet, loss of a friendship, loss of
a personal dream, or loss of a romantic relationship. According to the research that I have
already completed, throughout the grieving process, certain factors such as depression and
eating disorders have the potential to become detrimental to ones health. Its short term effects
include: fatigue, digestive problems, chest pain, sore muscles, etc. The long term effects, which
are much more severe, are mental health disorders as well as physical ones and according to
my research, can shorten a persons average life span. In more serious cases, it has been
established that grief can lead to depression, which in severe cases can lead to death. After a
loss, research shows that many people can also become mentally stuck in a place of sadness
and are unable to process other emotions as well as move on from their loss. Through many
experiences of my own, it has been made clear that people experience both sorrow and loss in
different ways. In other words, everyone grieves differently. In fact, it has been scientifically

Hoffman4
proven that after traumatic life events the recovery patterns of every person look extremely
different.
By now, you might be wondering why this topic might be of interest to someone as
young as myself. The answer to this question is simple: everyone grieves. Whether they
express it quietly or loudly, whether they express it independently or with the help of others,
everyone grieves, and to me, it is extremely fascinating. I have experienced it before as I lost
my best friend during my junior year of high school and it changed my life forever. In regards to
the grieving process, I had no idea about the effects that it can have on a persons overall life
span, but I did know about the short term effects because I experienced many of them myself.
The only parts that I fully understood and had factual information on to prove my reasoning were
based on actual experiences that I had encountered. Not only were they based off of my
experiences, but after reading the book Who Moved My Cheese?, I better understood the
emotions that I was feeling and experiencing. The book relates to my inquiry theme because it
exemplifies how we all move through life after coping with loss. Although I experienced both
short term and long term effects, and also read the book, there is still a lot that I have to learn
regarding the depth to the process and the changes it can have on an overall lifespan.
I have many ideas regarding how I am going to carry out research. I hope to use
different case studies and scholarly articles, but my main source will be the book, On Dying and
Death by Elisabeth Kbler Ross, who first established the intricate grieving process. In addition
to establishing the grieving process, she has wrote many books and done a lot of research
regarding human growth and people in general. Her book reasons with why human beings feel
the way that they do after encountering difficult loss, as well as using everyday examples of real
life situations. I hope to gain more knowledge on what each step entails and how it affects the
human life and that of my own. I would really like to know if the amount of sorrow that humans
feel can affect how long they live and affect their physical and mental health.

Hoffman5
According to Ross, People are like stained-glass windows, they sparkle and shine when
the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light
from within. is this quote the truth though? Does the grieving process and the darkness in our
lives make us shine brighter, or does it hinder us in the long run and make it more difficult for us
to shine? I think that this quote accurately represents what a lot of my inquiry project will be
based on because it states that difficult circumstances such as this strengthen people, not break
them down. It will be very interesting to see if it does in fact help ones overall life, or hurt it.
In conclusion, my overall question is this: how does the grieving process affect a
persons general health and life span? I think that this pertains to everyone, including the
students in my writing class because as previously stated, everyone grieves. Whether you have
already encountered the steps in this process or not, you one day will and it is important to
understand the long-lasting effect that they have the ability to have on your life. To learn more
about this process will help to better my knowledge on why we cope with death the way that we
do and how we come out of the process as individuals. My hope is that through my project, I will
learn that although the grieving process is gruesome, it makes us stronger and healthier
individuals. Cynthia Occelli, a writer who advocates for living life to the fullest through tragic
events once said, For a seed to achieve its greatest expression, it must come completely
undone. The shell cracks, its insides come out and everything changes. To someone who
doesn't understand growth, it would look like complete destruction. We all deserve growth,
even though sometimes it is difficult. I think that through my research I will come to find that
grieving is just a really difficult form of growth. If we all experience such a process, we should at
least understand it, right?