A

Shared Purpose: Melanie and Craig Martin

A Shared Purpose: Melanie and Craig Martin

Hayley Swartz
The University of Georgia

A Shared Purpose: Melanie and Craig Martin

In her book The Second Shift, Arlie Hochschild illuminates what she calls a stalled
revolution in which a gender revolution primary triggered by womens entrance in the work
force has halted at the door of the home, particularly leaving womens obligation to a second
shift untouched by social transformation (Hochschild, 1989). This second shift signifies the
expectation that a working mother must perform all the duties of her preceding domestic sphere
in addition to her newly added first shift in the office. Upon womens acquisition of a provider
role, Hochschild sought to discover whether men began to share a larger role in family work. Her
findings indicate that as a result of the economic demands for two incomes, there has been a
speed up in work and family life in which there is now more to be done in a single day then
when work and family life were divided between men and women (Hochschild, 1989). The result
of this is a trend in which women devote the equivalent of an average extra month a year than
men as they juggle three spheresjob, children, and housework. In order to understand why this
transformation has happened, Hochschild interviewed several couples in order to identify their
gender ideologytheir attitude regarding the roles of men and women in societyand the
strategies they used in order to reconcile their gender ideology with their current circumstances.
For women, these gender strategies often took the form of super-moming, playing helpless, or
redefining personal needs when battling against husbands who werent sharing the second shift.
Men, on the other hand, typically established incompetence, appealed to natural differences, or
simply waited for their wives to ask to maintain their detachment from family work. Overall,
Hochschilds findings support that men generally made few changes to adapt to womens
entrance into the work force, and women were left sick, tired, and distressed (Hochschild, 1989).
In my search to apply Hochschilds findings to a couple in todays society, I found that many of
her observations regarding the resistance of men to help with the second shiftalthough true for

A Shared Purpose: Melanie and Craig Martin

many coupleswas surpassed by a belief in a higher purpose that transcended paid or family
work and allowed them to find equality in a mutual life purpose to serve God and give back to
their community.
Despite living in a traditional Christian community, Melanie and Craig Baker appeared to
be a very egalitarian couple. Hochschild claims that there are three possible gender ideologies:
traditional, transitional, and egalitarian. Egalitarian couplesthose that believe a womans right
to work is equally important as a mans right to workare rare to stumble upon. According to
Hochschild, only 20% of couples shared housework evenly (Hochschild, 1989). The vast
majority of couples interviewed were comprised of transitional or equalitarian women and
slower transforming men (Hochschild, 1989). Surprisingly in light of this research, I seemed to
have stumbled upon a couple that truly believes they are equals in the least likely of places: the
Presbyterian Church. Melanie and Craig Baker have been married for 13 years, have two
children, and share a passion of nursing. Camie, age ten, is a smart and. emotional girl She is an
honors student, loves karate, but struggles with her ADD at home and at school. Nicolas, age six,
is a calm boy who is still very attached to his mother. According to his mother, the only time he
acts up is when is being driven by a very basic need such as hunger (quite a contrast to his rather
sensitive sister). After college, Melanie began her career as a teacher while Craig was in graduate
school, but like many couples do, they settled into traditional breadwinner-homemaker roles after
the birth of Camie. In their spare time, Melanie and Craig spent time in ministry, sharing their
beliefs and teaching others. However, after the birth of her second child Nicolas, Melanie chose
to pursue the career she has always knew she wantedto become a nurse. She described the
strain nursing school put on their lives with the burden of tuition and the challenge of nursing
classes; however, both Craig and Melanie affirmed the support that Craig showed Melanie in her

A Shared Purpose: Melanie and Craig Martin

pursuits. She now works twelve-hour night shifts three times a week. With the one-hour drive to
the hospital, she estimates this to be about 42 hours a week. Craig, on the other hand, is a
professor at Georgia Regents University as he pursues his doctorate degree in nursing. He works
about 50 hours a week but has a more flexible schedule as a portion of his job is grading papers
and writing books. They live in a nice suburban home in Athens, Georgia that reveals the
lifestyle they livebusy. It is cluttered like the home of people who dont have time to worry
about making sure the house is perfectly neat. Upon sitting down with Craig, he made his
opinion about gender roles very clear: I dont want a wife where I come home, everything is
done and dinner is prepared. I want an equal. I dont want an indentured servant, but I want my
best friend. For the most part, Hochschild reports that the women she interviewed felt that the
second shift was their issue and their husbands agreed (Hochschild, 1989). Craig, however,
seems to feel that the second shift is equally his burden as it is Melanies. Whether or not he
feels like this is something he has to be responsible for, he made it clear that he wants to do more
for his wife. When asked what he would change about the distribution of labor around the home,
he responded that he wished he could take even more of the burden.
Upon looking at how they divide household tasks, it appears that Melanie and Craig are
more or less equals. Craig reported the split of family work to be 60:40, with the slightly larger
proportion being completed by him. With Melanie catching up on sleep during the day and
Craigs flexible work schedule, he completes most of the daily tasks. According to Hochschild,
even in couples who report dividing family work, women are more likely to be responsible for
daily tasks such as cooking and cleaning (Hochschild, 1989). In the Martin family, however,
Craig completes a large share of the grocery shopping and cooking. Melanie spends her
transition nights (the nights she is not working a night shift but needs to still maintain her sleep

A Shared Purpose: Melanie and Craig Martin

schedule) catching up on laundry and cleaning. Instead of the household tasks being split
between upstairs and downstairs like Evan and Nancy Holt (Hochschild, 1989), the Martins
split the work by who ever is home. Whoever is home when the kids need to eat, when the
dishes need to be done, or the electrician stops by is the one to complete the work. In a sense,
they both have two alternating shifts: while one is on the paid shift, the other is on the family
shift. In The Second Shift, when Nancy Holt decreased to part time at her job, she reported
feeling less resentful over making dinner because it now has become part of her shift
(Hochschild, 1989). Perhaps this can explain why both Melanie and Craig are so accepting of
splitting family work. Instead of both working a first shift during the day, and expecting to be off
work in the evening, their staggered work schedules allows both of them to have individual and
distinct work shifts and family shifts.
However, I argue that it is the Bakers shared passion for serving otherswhether is be
each other, their kids, or their patientsis the driving forced behind their egalitarian identity.
Rather than letting his wife work like Frank Delacorte (64), Craig believes that both he and
Melanie have purpose in their careers. The driving force behind both of their careers does not
appear to be for extrinsic rewards of income and stability but mainly for the intrinsic rewards of
personal fulfillment and serving others. Perhaps because they both work in the same profession,
they both understand the value that comes with being a nurse. However, they seemed to share
this equality before Melanie became a nurse because they both served in ministry together.
Therefore, with intrinsic rewards of serving others and serving God being the driving factor of
their careerswhether teaching, nursing, or ministryand their sharing of those rewards,
neither career takes precedence over the other. Men like Frank Delacorte often feel emasculated
by the thought of their wives working (Hochschild, 1989). When I asked Craig about how he

A Shared Purpose: Melanie and Craig Martin

would feel if the tables were turnedmeaning Melanie made more than himhe cheerfully said
he would be fine with it! According to Hochschilds research, it is surprising that Craig seems to
be experiencing more of a work-family role strain than Melanie. Perhaps the fact that nursing is
generally thought of a service sector job left for women could contribute to why Craig is willing
to share the family work shift. There is more equality in their work life, thus there is more
equality in their home life. However, once again I will argue that this equality stems from
something deeper than splitting tasks in the home: Melanie and Craig want to live for the Lord
in all the choices we makelive for him and not for happiness but the overall sense of joy that
no matter what goes on in our lives, God loves us.
Although Melanie and Craig appear to be an anomaly in the Christian culture that often
values traditional roles for men and women, there appear to be some traces traditionalism present
in their relationship. Hochschild often found that even the most egalitarian appearing couples
who report bothbothboth when going through the checklist of who does what chores
around the home still have traditional gender norms lurking somewhere beneath the surface
(Hochschild, 1989). In the Martin family, this traditionalism did not take the form of
breadwinner-homemaker, but some traditional ideals surfaced during our interview that appear to
still govern how they feel about their gender roles. For example, Melanie recalled the guilt she
perceived in Craig during times of financial stress when she was in nursing school. Melanie
claimed being okay with just having Ramen Noodles but felt that Craig wanted to give her more
than that; he wanted to be the male provider. Although Craig quoted being very supportive of her
career and took a large portion of the family work burden, it appears that he still views himself
responsible for being the provider of the family at the end of the day. Craig also quoted Melanie
as caring more about the house being clean and updated while he is just concerned with the TV

A Shared Purpose: Melanie and Craig Martin

and stereoanother hint of traditional roles that linger in their egalitarian home. Again, it is
likely that the equality and satisfaction found in their marriage does not revolve around who is
responsible for providing, decorating, or cleaning but it stems from a deeper common purpose in
their equal identities as servants of God.
However, due to the fact that the Bakers live between two societiesthe traditionalism
of the church and the progressiveness of modern societythey must develop strategies to
reconcile these opposing forces. Hochschild argues that men and women use gender strategies
and family myths in times when a couples gender ideology clashes with a current
circumstances. Although Craig and Melanie report happiness with both the division of
housework and their marriage, there are some myths they may have adopted in order to reconcile
their egalitarianism with their traditional community. Multiple times throughout the interview,
Melanie blamed her inability to do more around the house on her multiple illnesses and her
struggle with getting tired easily. Even Craig said he wanted to help out around the house so that
Melanie could rest. Instead of claims that family work is equally his responsibility as it is
Melanies, his contribution to the household appears to be in the form of a gift to Melanie in her
time of sickness. Although she did not explicitly express guilt over not being able to do more
around the house, she did attribute her 40% share of housework to her health issues. It could be
that she is truly sick and needs help. In fact, Hochschild reports that as a result of the second
shift, women tend to report more often about being tired, sick, or drained (Hochschild, 1989).
However, it could be possible that Melanie uses her sickness as a gender strategy to reconcile her
egalitarianism with the traditional roles that are still valued in her community. Perhaps she
doesnt believe her egalitarian household is because she is a feminist (something that is generally
looked down upon in the Christian community) but because she is too sick and tired. Like

A Shared Purpose: Melanie and Craig Martin

Carmen Delacorte, she didnt stop taking on the tasks of the second shift; her illness stopped her
(Hochschild, 1989).
In the end, regardless of what their equality is rooted in, the Bakers appear very satisfied
with their relationship. Hochschild emphasizes that agreement in gender roles in relation to
marital satisfaction is more important than whether they are equalitarian or traditional
(Hochschild 1989). For couples to agree on how family work and paid work is divided is more
important than to share the load equally (Hochschild, 1989). This finding would explain why
both Melanie and Craig describe their relationship as very happy and full of gratitude. They were
both readily honest about the trials they have encountered during their marriage, however these
were not related to how household work was divided among them. For example, both reported
about their time in therapy related to Melanies experience with sexual abuse when she was
younger, but neither appeared to address any problems regarding gender roles in their marriage.
According to Hochschild, the reason they are content in this area is because they both agree on
how the work should be divided: the second shift is the responsibility of whoever is at home.
In fact, the Martins appeared to be better off regarding their marital satisfaction and
equality than any other couple mentioned by Hochschild in The Second Shift. The reason that
Nancy and Evan Holt became satisfied with their division of family work is because they
distributed the work in a way that appeared distinctly divided: upstairs and downstairs. Similarly,
Melanie and Craig have a clear division of work created by alternating paid work shifts: whoever
is off their paid shift is on the home shift. Unlike the Holts, Melanie and Craigs division is more
rooted in the circumstances of their handing off responsibilities between paid and family shifts
whereas the Holts division was based on a faulty family myth that allowed them to believe they
were sharing. Furthermore, unlike Frank Delacorte who let his wife work or Seth Stein who

A Shared Purpose: Melanie and Craig Martin

actually preferred his wife not work (Hochschild, 1989), Craig appears to be both supportive of
his wife working and to believe that she has a rightful purpose in her work. Perhaps the couple
most representative of Melanie and Craig is super-parents John and Barbara Livingston. They
both worked, and they both contributed to family work. The thing that suffered was their time
together. In both couples, their careers and children took precedence over everything else.
Although both couples struggled to make time for each other, the Martins make significant effort
to squeeze in time for each other. Time together often takes the form of watching movies
together after the kids have gone to bed.
Although Melanie and Craig are very satisfied in their marriage, have two healthy kids
and great fulfillment in their careers, this is not where their happiness stems from. If there is one
thing that I learned from the Martins it is that in order to be happy with your division of labor,
your career, your marriage, you must first decide what matters to your most. Melanie and Craig
fought, went to therapy, experienced depression and suffered through lots of schooling, but they
know who they were, what matters to them, and their purpose in life. The most important thing
that I learned for Arlie Hochschild is not that egalitarian couples are the gender ideology that
everyone should strive for. Conversely, the reason that the Martins are happy is because they
have congruent values and ideologies as well as mutual love and support. As I personally face
the huge decision of whether or not to go to nursing school, this couple taught me that the goal is
not to both have successful careers and split laundry. The goal is to find someone else that
matches my values and that will support me no matter what.

References:
Hochschild, A., & Machung, A. (1989). The second shift: Working parents and the revolution at
home. New York, N.Y.: Viking

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Interview Questions
1. How many hours a week do you work?
2. What kind of job do you have?
3. Does your workplace offer family friendly policies?
What kind?
Do you use them?
Why or why not?
4. How important is your career to your identify?
If you were to quit your job, how distressed/relieved would you be?
5. How much do you enjoy your job?
6. If an emergency happened in which your children required one of you to stay home full time,
would you be willing to stay home full time (assuming finances permitted)?
7. Describe in a general statement how you think you divide the housework
What proportion of the family work/housework do you do?
What proportion does your spouse do?
8. For each of the following task, describe who is responsible for the completion.
Cooking
Housecleaning (vacuum, dishes, nightly kitchen cleanup)
Laundry
Making kids lunches, giving baths, homework help
Carpool, extracurricular activities, dr appts
Lawn, garbage, car maintenance
Pay bills, send birthday cards, meet the plumber
Grocery shopping, dry cleaning, errands
Who leaves work to pick up a sick child from school?
o What did you want to do the same/different? Why?
9. How important are the following things to you? (not important, somewhat important, very
important) and why?
Wearing clean/ironed clothes
Having the house picked up
Keeping the home updated
Spending time with friends
10. Do you make time for yourself?
Leisure
Hobbies
Self care (exercise, haircuts)

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11. How many hours on average do you sleep a night?

Is this enough for you?
12. Overall, how happy are you with your marriage?
13. How do you feel the birth of your first child effected your satisfaction with your marriage?
What about the birth of your second child?
14. Do you spend time together as a couple?
How many times a week?
15. How do you think your spouse compares to other husbands/wives in you know?
16. Which tasks inside and outside the home should women be responsible for? Men?
Do you wish the distribution of labor in the home was different?
If yes, what strategies do you use to implement this change?
17. Who makes the majority of decisions? (whether to buy a house, where to go to dinner,
whether to move)
18. How often do you express gratitude to your spouse for what they contribute to the
household?
Do you feel you are getting enough gratitude?
19. Have you ever considered divorce?
Thought about it privately, threatened it, suggested it?
20. What was your expectation for the division of housework before marriage?
Does your current situation meet those expectations?

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Peer Review Sheet

Author of Paper: Jordan Lowery
Reviewers Name: Hayley Swartz
Avoid one word responses (yes, no, etc). PLEASE TYPE YOUR RESPONSES below each
question. You can take as much space as you would like to answer each question. You may
complete the peer review in-class on Friday November 13th OR any time before that class
period. IF you chose to do the peer review assignment before that date, both you and your
partner should have a solid draft of the paper that is almost, if not completely, finished.
Feel free to use our usual classroom and class time for the peer review. You should e-mail a copy
of your review to your classmate by 5 pm on Friday, November 13th. For your final paper, you
should include as an appendix: 1) a copy of the peer review you did for a classmate and 2) a copy
of the peer review a classmate did for you.
Do NOT only focus on grammar/spelling issues. Rather, focus on the strength and clarity of the
arguments made, whether or not your classmate has fulfilled the assignment, and if your
classmate has clearly organized their paper. Please make sure to answer EACH of the following
questions:
1. What are the strengths of the paper? What about the paper works well?
Jordan did a great of incorporating many of the key terms and themes of The
Second Shift into her paper. She included the concept of a stalled revolution, gender
ideologies, family myths, and several other important ideas the Hochschild presented in
her book. I think Jordan did a great job of both including all the things that needed to be
addressed in this paper.

2. How could the introduction be improved?

Jordan could go a bit deeper into some the concepts that Hochschild presents in
the book. For example, she mentions the speed up and gender ideology without
explaining what these mean. She could condense her wording so that each sentence is

A Shared Purpose: Melanie and Craig Martin

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saying something meaningful about the key themes that Hochschild discuses. Perhaps
rather than just stating the findings from the book, she could explain more about how
these issues are relevant today, with the couples she interviewed, and why the second
shift is so controversial. Lastly, Jordan should have made some sort of argument or thesis
in the introduction to make a claim about how Hochschilds finding relate to the couple
she interviewed.

3. What is the authors thesis? Does the paper support the thesis? Explain. (Note: For the
interview paper, the thesis will likely concern whether or not the couple interviewed was
similar or not to any of the couples from The Second Shift and how the author will
demonstrate this).
It appears that the clearest argument Jordan makes is that her couple is transitional
couples, and that transitional couples are a common ground between egalitarian and
traditional couples. In her conclusion, she states that the couples had a successful
relationship even through hardships, which leads the reader to believe she is arguing that a
transitional couples is a successful adaptation to the hardships or societys demands (needing
two incomes, supporting womens responsibility for family work).

4. How could the draft be more effectively organized?

Although Jordan does a great job of discussing ideas from the second shift and
reporting her interview with her couple, she could do a better job of tying these together
in a smooth manor. Specifically, her intro discuses the second shift, then the second
paragraph goes into the details of her families life without making a transition into how

A Shared Purpose: Melanie and Craig Martin

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concepts in The Second Shift relate to her couple. The reader would be more able to
follow her train of though with more effective transitions. She also waits to make an
argument (or state a thesis) until the bottom of the second paragraph. Stating this earlier
in the introduction would result in a more linear and understandable train of thought.

5. How well do the topic sentences support the thesis? What could be improved?
Due to the fact that her thesis is not stated until later in the paper, it is more difficult
for the reader to track with how her succeeding paragraphs support this thesis. However,
within each individual paragraph, the topic sentences guide the subject of the material. They
may relate back to her thesis, but her thesis is hard to identify in the first place. By placing
her thesis earlier and making a more clear argument, her topic sentences would seem to have
more clarity. The purpose of topic sentences is to report back to the thesis. In order to do this;
the thesis needs to be stated first in the introduction.

6. Does every sentence in the paragraph support the topic sentence? Which paragraphs
could be improved?

Her conclusion and her introduction could be improved. Her introduction needs a
strong and clear argument about what the purpose of her paper is/what she is trying to argue.
This will help her paper to flow better. Secondly, her conclusion needs to ties together what
she is arguing and what she has learned from this process. Rather than just presenting data,
her introduction and conclusion can turn that data into an argument and an application.

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7. Is the conclusion effective? Does it adequately conclude the essay? Suggestions?

I think Jordan effectively summarized the paper, but she did describe what she learned
from Hochschilds ideas or from her couples. The ideas presented in this paper regarding
gender ideologies and the fact that women are carrying a much great load of family work
than men is very controversial. Therefore, the paper would benefit by Jordan explaining what
she learned in this research process.

8. Where would the paper benefit from additional support and examples?
Jordan claims that the couple has a transitional gender ideology, but I think she needs
more support to justify this claim. She states that although Callie does more of the family
work, she wishes that her husband would help more. She needs to include more examples
how this makes them transitional. Do they believe men and women should split home
responsibility? Why do they divide labor the way they do?

9. Did your classmate seem to adequately address the assignment? If not, what is missing?

Yes. She addressed many of the central concepts in The Second Shift and also clearly
followed the outline given for the assignment. The only part that I think is missing is a more
in depth analysis of how the couples believe work should be divided between men and

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women and how the couples feels about their division of labor. Although Jordan discusses
how the couple divides the labor and that they wish it could be different, she could have dug
deeper into how the couples gender ideology guides how family work is structured. Other
than a more in depth analysis of the couples gender ideology, Jordan met the requirements of
this assignment. She addressed the ideas of The Second Shift, gave demographic information
about her couple, and compared them to other couples in the book.

10. Make two suggestions for the next draft that you think would improve the paper:
I think this is a great start, but I think she should take the paper deeper. First, the
paper could benefit from a richer description of what some of Hochschilds mean. For
example, she should explain what a family myth, a gender ideology, and the speed up
discussed in The Second Shift at greater length to fully display her understanding of these
topics and help the read follow along. She should treat her paper like the audience has never
heard of these concepts before and take time to explain them and connect them.

Secondly, Jordan could add depth to her paper by providing a deeper analysis of the
ideologies, feelings, and attitudes of the couple rather than just the facts of how they divide
labor. For example, she could go deeper into why Callie wishes that her husband could help
more. Is it because she believes they should be equally responsible for the home or because
she simply doesnt have time?

A Shared Purpose: Melanie and Craig Martin

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Peer Review Sheet

Author of Paper: Hayley Swartz
Reviewers Name: Jordan Lowery
Avoid one word responses (yes, no, etc). PLEASE TYPE YOUR RESPONSES below each
question. You can take as much space as you would like to answer each question. You may
complete the peer review in-class on Friday November 13th OR any time before that class
period. IF you chose to do the peer review assignment before that date, both you and your
partner should have a solid draft of the paper that is almost, if not completely, finished.
Feel free to use our usual classroom and class time for the peer review. You should e-mail a copy
of your review to your classmate by 5 pm on Friday, November 13th. For your final paper, you
should include as an appendix: 1) a copy of the peer review you did for a classmate and 2) a copy
of the peer review a classmate did for you.
Do NOT only focus on grammar/spelling issues. Rather, focus on the strength and clarity of the
arguments made, whether or not your classmate has fulfilled the assignment, and if your
classmate has clearly organized their paper. Please make sure to answer EACH of the following
questions:
1. What are the strengths of the paper? What about the paper works well?
a. Hayley did a really good job stating the important points from her interview and
incorporating information from The Second Shift into her paper. She accurately
described the theories from class and displayed it in an orderly manner. The paper
was the correct length as well.
2. How could the introduction be improved?
a. I think the introduction was pretty strong. It opened up the paper and nicely and
gave a small idea of what the paper was going to include. In my opinion, she
should have introduced the family a little sooner instead of a page or so in.
3. What is the authors thesis? Does the paper support the thesis? Explain. (Note: For the
interview paper, the thesis will likely concern whether or not the couple interviewed was

A Shared Purpose: Melanie and Craig Martin

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similar or not to any of the couples from The Second Shift and how the author will
demonstrate this).
a. Thesis: Overall, Hochschilds findings support that men generally made few
changes to adapt to womens entrance into the work force, and women were left
sick, tired, and distressed
i. Yes. Hayley mentioned all the couples from The Second Shift multiple
times and made sure to tie in the experiences of her couple with the ones
from the book. She compared the family she interviewed with the John
and Barbara Livingston.
4. How could the draft be more effectively organized?
a. In my opinion, Hayleys paper is organized very well and does not need to be
changed concerning this issue. She starts out explaining the book and the ideas
Hochschild portrays throughout the book. After giving some background
information, she starts to describe the family she interviewed and the roles in their
family, which I think is very effective.
5. How well do the topic sentences support the thesis? What could be improved?
a. All of the topic sentences tie in with Hayleys thesis. The sentence allows the
reader to get an idea of what the next paragraph is going to be about. When it
comes to the topic sentences, I dont think she needs to improve anything.
6. Does every sentence in the paragraph support the topic sentence? Which paragraphs
could be improved?
a. Most all of the topic sentences support her thesis. She did a really good job
writing this paper. Some of her paragraphs could be broken up and not be as long
if she needed to improve the paper any.
7. Is the conclusion effective? Does it adequately conclude the essay? Suggestions?

A Shared Purpose: Melanie and Craig Martin

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a. Hayleys conclusion was great. She included a personal thought and experience at
the end that tied in what her paper was written about. She could have added a
couple more things about the paper in an ending paragraph to conclude the paper
even better. I like the idea of ending it with her personal thoughts though.

8. Where would the paper benefit from additional support and examples?
a. I mentioned this in Hayleys actual paper when peer reviewing but when she
introduces the two kids at the beginning, she provides several details about the
daughter and very few about the son. Other than a few minor details, I think she
provided the paper with plenty of support and examples.
9. Did your classmate seem to adequately address the assignment? If not, what is missing?
a. Hayley seemed to hit every important point. To be honest, I think she wrote a
little too much and repeated herself several times trying to fulfill the length
requirement. In my opinion, she could have addressed the assignment and all the
topics even with a shorter length.

10. Make two suggestions for the next draft that you think would improve the paper:
a. Introduce the family a little sooner so the reader can get an idea of what the main
idea of the paper.
b. Try and not repeat information as often. I know it is hard when one is trying to
fulfill a long paper length.

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