Kealey Gill

BUS1050-008
Jeffrey Davis
My Renaissance
Over the past two years I have been going through a renaissance of sorts. My dark ages
were both physical and mental. I was not in a good place.. I had never obtained a drivers license,
even though I had been of legal driving age for 8 years or so. I was, and still am, living with my
parents while attending college. I was also struggling with my epilepsy, which I have dealt with
for 22 years of my life. It had grown apparent to me that I was in a rut. I wanted to stop having
seizures completely and I wanted to get into better shape. I was always unintentionally injuring
myself because of slow reflexes and slow processing skills, courtesy of my medication, I was
depressed, I wasnt very social, and my medicine was not completely controlling
my seizures. I was tired all the time and often felt sluggish. I felt like I was stuck in a never
ending cycle of regression and frustration, doomed to live out a life controlled by epilepsy.
Epilepsy is defined as a neurological disorder marked by sudden recurrent episodes of
sensory disturbance, loss of consciousness, or convulsions (seizures), associated with abnormal
electrical activity in the brain. It is a hard thing to live with, as are all disabilities. It can
prevent a person from many things. It can be so severe that a person can no longer do many of
the things most people take for granted, such as driving, swimming, working, etc. Some
epileptics have no warning and will just fall to the ground and seize out of the blue. Often times a
person with uncontrolled seizures cannot live alone. They do better around others because
someone is there to help them should they convulse and fall to the ground, injuring themselves.
My life was going somewhat like the life of Mike, described by Studs Terkel in The
Steel Worker. The text is about a man named Mike Lefevre who is unhappy with his job
working in a steel factory. Mike explains that his day to day work is repetitive and mundane. He
explains that he cannot take pride in his work because he has nothing to point to, and emphasizes
that his work is extremely tiresome. He points out that in a hard labor job such as his, he is mass
producing things, but never sees the finished product or the end result of it. He also discusses
making his own imprint on the world, since his imprint cannot be made by his work, he improves

his posterity by raising a son who will have a better future than he has.
In addition to the unpredictability of my seizures, the medicine I was taking to prevent
my seizures made me drowsy. You see, the main purpose of seizure medication is to slow down
the neurological system, often so much so that the patient can barely stay awake. The reason
being that if the neurological system is slow, no over stimulation in the brain can occur to cause
a seizure. Therefore I can absolutely relate to Mike Levfre in The Steel worker when he says It
isnt that the average guy is dumb. Its that hes tired, thats all. I felt tired all the time.
I feel tired even now, but instead of feeling tired because I was bogged down by medicine, I feel
tired because of how busy I am on a day to day basis. Its not just working 3 physical labor jobs
while going to college that makes me tired, its all of the in between things as well. Such as
fitting in time to stay in touch with my friends and remembering appointments, cleaning the
house, or making sure my car has gas. Perhaps working would be more exciting if I werent
doing such mundane tasks as cleaning. While doing the same thing every day makes the job
easy, it is still tiresome knowing I have to fit work in on top of homework and everything else I
need to get done in my day.
After living in that cycle for so long, I decided I needed to make a change. If my doctors
couldnt give me the help I wanted I would do something myself. I began to eat differently, I quit
drinking diet soda as well as most soft drinks, and I tried to eat out less. These simple changes
would have great outcomes on my life. I also started to see a therapist who helped me to cope
with stress and work through my emotions in a more efficient and effective way. Since I was
able to deal with my stress, a main trigger of my seizures, I was able to go one year without
having one, which surpassed the prerequisite set by my doctor before allowing me to take drivers
ed, and also allowed me to safely begin to ween of my medication. I then took a drivers
education class and after hiring a tutor and taking the test 3 times I finally obtained my drivers
license.
In my opinion, everyone can relate to Mike, especially when he discusses making an
imprint. Unless you are an artist, author, baker, chef, etc., there is not much you can point to and
tell someone that you created. For example, Ive always enjoyed writing and I used to free write

as a child. Over the years, as I grew busier, I had less and less opportunities to write. I think
maybe everyone should write a book or a song, or paint a picture at some point in their life, so
that they have something they can point to with pride and say I made that. At the same time, I
suppose a parent could point to their child and say the same thing. Hopefully they are improving
their posterity, not because they can no longer improve themselves, like Mike, but because they
love their children and have good intentions at heart. Everyone wants to make their own personal
imprint on the world before they die. Sometimes its just a matter of figuring out what that will
be.
Since making those changes I have progressively felt better. I have become more
productive because I can think clearer now that I am on a lower dose of medication. As well as
the fact that I can get around faster in a car than I could taking trax, walking, or waiting for my
parents to drive me. Being able to drive made my life a lot easier, I no longer felt stuck at home
and did not have to rely on my parents to drive me around. I felt a certain sense of freedom I had
never experienced before, only intensified by the amount of hard work it took to get there. I feel
that I am now more able to achieve my goals and be consciously present in my everyday life. I
used quotations when I used the term disability earlier because I no longer let my epilepsy
disable me from doing or experiencing anything in my life, I dont let it get in my way. I have
not seized in 2 years come May 7 and hopefully I will work hard to see that I never seize again.
Success in life is about perception, its how we look at things. Instead of being depressed
and comparing myself to others, as Mike would, being upset that I dont have as much money as
someone else, or that I have to work, or dont have a license, instead of focusing on what I dont
have I tried to focus on what I do have and compare that good feeling to the way I felt before my
hard work paid off. Dont wait for recognition from others, because it may never come. Instead,
recognize your own achievements, remember how far youve come. Looking at ones progress
and how far theyve come seems to be a more motivating method than focusing on how far you
have left to go until you reach the next goal. I have a few things that I can point to and say that I
created it, but the biggest thing I can point to is myself. I know that I have come a long way. I
take pride in every class I pass, every paper I write. When I graduate from college I can point to

that degree and say I created that, I made that happen. Maybe as the years go on I will have
more things I can point to, perhaps paintings or a book, a song, a child, a house, a family.
Whatever it may be, I will be able to look back on the path I took to get to that point with pride.
I am grateful for the progress I have made and the people who have helped me to get
here. I am grateful for every paper assigned in a class because it gives me a chance to write, one
of my passions. I am thankful for the teachers and resources at SLCC that have accommodated
me in my educational journey. Epilepsy greatly affects memory, being able to have double time
on test helps a great deal. Being able to rent a smart pen from the DRC helps as well. I dont
know what Id do if I couldnt use that pen in my classes. It allows me to record lectures as I take
down notes. When I go home to do an assignment, I can play the recording. I am grateful also
for my parents who have supported, and continue to support me while I obtain my education. At
each point in my life, no matter how mundane my everyday tasks may be, I can look back and
point to myself and say I created this end result. Mike believes that If you cant improve
yourself, improve your posterity. That is where Mike and I would differ in opinion. Luckily, I
am not stuck in a dead end job as he was. I am working, simply to save up some extra money,
now before I live on my own and have bills to pay and a family to feed. Also, I believe that it is
always possible to improve oneself in one way of another. As I said before, its about perception
of life and the world around you. If you dont like the way your life is going, or you are not
satisfied with yourself, make a change. Even the smallest change can create huge results. I have
the opportunities available in my life to prepare myself for the future. I am able to plan my life
before I bring children into the world. I have the opportunity to improve myself now. By
working hard to obtain a college degree and saving up money I feel that I am improving myself
and making progress on my path to a promising career as well as a successful future, living my
life the way I have always imagined it.