April 11, 2016

Journal Entry 1

Today marks the beginning of a lifelong quest, my spiritual journey. I ask myself: what made
you want to do this, Jess? I tell myself: I want to be a better version of myself. I want to
discover that version of me and nurture it to the best of my ability. I believe connecting to myself
through spirituality and yoga will aid in that development, as well as healing my anxiety and
depression. The things that really gave me incentive to explore the spiritual form of life was
reading Into the Wild by Jon Krakauer. Chris McCandless journey into the Alaskan wild was a
spiritual quest for him. He wanted an escape from the life that he had known. He wanted to
explore a realm of life which he knew existed but one that he had yet to experience. That is what
my journey is ultimately about, exploring the depths of my soul and discovering what I am truly
capable of. Unlike Chris, I will not be going into the wild. The way I choose to discover
myself will be through spiritual practices that remove me from the mainstream world (spiritually
and mentally), like McCandless, without physically removing me from mainstream society,
unlike McCandless. The practices will include yoga and various forms of meditation. In order to
truly understand spirituality (what it is and what it entails) and to be able to practice yoga and
meditation properly and effectively, I will be utilizing several resources, such as Yoga for
Emotional Balance by Bo Forbes and Spirituality: What it is and Why it Matters by Roger S.
Gottlieb, just to name a couple. Although, this journey began as a class project, it surely will not
end as a class project. This is a journey that I am choosing to take for life.

April 15, 2016

Journal Entry 2
Today I have decided to revisit chapters one and two of Spirituality by Gottlieb. Several bits of
information within these chapters resonated with me. Gottlieb discussed briefly the ego and its
interference with the spiritual journey. He says once the ego is taken out, or at least reduced, we
can engage in life more clearly and creatively with a lot less anxiety, over performance and
greedy clinging to results (24). But, how will I reduce and remove the ego? I will have to
remove myself, I, from the center of my thoughts. I believe removing the ego requires me to
think about all life, and not solely my life. He also states that the issue between spirituality and
having desires is not the desires themselves, but the attachment to those desires. This made me
think about McCandless because in the novel, Into the Wild, Krakauer mentions how
McCandless left all of his possessions behind, except those that he deemed necessary for
survival, and burned all of his money. Those actions portrayed Chris as having no attachment to
those possessions and that going into the wild was truly a spiritual journey for him. Also
discussed within chapters one and two is the fact that spirituality is a demanding practice that
takes discipline and commitment. To help me understand how spirituality involves self-discipline
Gottlieb discusses two spiritual virtues: mindfulness and gratitude. I remember growing up my
elders would always tell me to be grateful for what I have. I never truly understood what that
meant until I got older. I know now, however, that expressing gratitude is about appreciating
what you have instead of complaining about what you dont. I truly realize that it is about
maintaining peace and happiness. Mindfulness, a form of meditation, entails being fully present.

This practice, I know, will surely help me in removing my ego. I will continue to practice
mindfulness and gratitude in my daily life.

April 18, 2016

Journal Entry 3
Today I decided to practice a bit of restorative yoga. I have to admit, it was not as easy as I
thought it would be. I did, however, feel much of a difference in my mood by the time I was
finished. I practiced Bo Forbes yoga for anxiety sequence. This included grounding and
enclosed poses to help conserve energy and a 1:2 breathing exercise. The poses themselves were
easy to perform; however, because restorative yoga acquires the practice of meditation, I was
having a difficult time maintaining a sense of stillness and quietness within my mind. I am only
beginning and I know I have to be patient with myself when it comes to meditation and being
able to still the mind. I realize that the reason why I had such trouble was due to stress and
dwelling on past conflicts, the very two things that I was trying to release with this practice. In
the midst of my practice I remembered what Wood, the author of Seven Schools of Yoga, said. He
said when you are trying to concentrate on something, in my case it was yoga and my breathing,
and emotions surface you should acknowledge them, then say I dont care. In my case I would
say I dont care if you stay or go but I am focusing on yoga and my breath. He says that after
you acknowledge the emotions they will soon fade away. Certainly, a bit after I acknowledged
the emotions, I was able to focus better on my breathing and how my body felt while engaging in
the poses. I didnt think it would be effective, but it was. The lesson that I took from my practice
today was: when it comes to mindfulness, concentration, and practicing yoga, it is ok to

acknowledge my emotions, as I should, but so long as I am able to get back on task to focus my
attention on what I am doing at hand.

April 22
Journal Entry 4
Yoga is a process of self-discovery. Jagad Guru
On this good day I read an article from Jagad Guru, Chris Butler, founder of Science of Identity
Foundation, and in that article he speaks of the Yoga View of the Self. He says that the yoga view
of the self is seeing the self as an an eternal element called life that is separate from the
physical body and the mind. Butler says that your body is your possession, as well as your mind
but you are not a possession of the two. As I reflect upon what I have just read, I begin to
understand what India Arie meant when she sang I am not my hair. I am not this skin. I am the
soul that lives within. I realize that human beings, all forms of life really, are much more than
matter, more than their physical self. Honestly though, acquiring this new information of who the
self is-is very conflicting with whom I thought I was before. I defined myself according to my
physical self and my experiences. Now, I suppose I define myself as the eternal spark of life,
or the soul that lives with in. That is what this journey is all about though, discovering who I
truly am. I believe I am on the right path thus far. Reading his article, I began to think about
emotions, anger, and everything that our physical and mental being experiences. I believe when
you realize that you are not your mind and body, then you can detach yourself from the
sensations, the feelings and emotions, that the mind and body can bring. You can control your
responses to situations better because you separate yourself from the body and the mind. For

instance, if someone angers you, you have the will power to say I see you anger. I feel you
anger, but you will not get the best of me because I am not giving myself to you. Anger will not
get the best of you because you are not anger. This will help me tremendously throughout the rest
of my life, knowing that I am not my emotions, although my emotions are a part of me.

April 27, 2016

Journal Entry 5
During my quest for more information on spirituality I came across A Womans Guide to Tantra
Yoga by Vimala McClure. In this book she introduces me to what is referred to in Tantra yoga as
the Perfect Nature. According to McClure the perfect nature is human beings capacity and
desire to search for infinite happiness, or true happiness. I interpret this as being ones ultimate
life purpose. As I read on, I realize that this path that I am taking, e.g. learning about spirituality
and practicing yoga, is my perfect nature. Ultimately, my goal in life is to achieve true happiness
and serenity. I believe that is what every human yearns for, happiness. Reading Vimalas A
womans Guide to Tantra Yoga, I discover that removing the ego is not about removing the I,
which I previously concluded, but removing the notion that I am separate from the universe, all
forms of life. Instead, it is about acknowledging the I, or the self, as it connects to we, all life
forms. What I desire is to be able to live that realization and to be more selfless. That is one thing
that will help me to become a better version of myself.

Works Cited
Butler, Chris. "Science of Identity Foundation." Science of Identity Foundation. N.p., n.d. Web.
27 Apr. 2016. <http://www.scienceofidentityfoundation.net/yoga-philosophy/yoga-viewof-the-self>.
Forbes, Bo. Yoga for Emotional Balance: Simple Practices to Help Relieve Anxiety and
Depression. Boston: Shambhala, 2011. Print.
Gottlieb, Roger S. Spirituality: What It Is and Why It Matters. New York: Oxford UP, 2013.
Print.
Krakauer, Jon. Into the Wild. New York: Anchor, 1997. Print.
McClure, Vimala Schneider. A Woman's Guide to Tantra Yoga. Novato, CA: New World Library,
1997. Print.
Wood, Ernest. Seven Schools of Yoga, an Introduction. Wheaton, IL: Theosophical Pub. House,
1973. Print.