Letter of transmittal

Professor Stacie Weatbrook

Spring 2016 English 1010
Salt Lake Community College

Dear Ms. Weatbrook,

With this document I am presenting 3 of the papers I wrote in your course during Spring 2016. I
will note before each revised version, the intended audience, ways I have grown as a writer, what
I hope to accomplish in the writing and changes that were made to each.
My first paper is my Memoir Narrative. I honestly did not revise this paper. I tried revisions that
others suggested on our discussion board but they seemed to take away from the story and
change perspective. Because this was a true story of something that happened to me I was very
much in tune with every emotion and event. My intended audience was of course my instructor
but it was also intended for my own family. I wanted them to know of one of the many things I
experienced in my child hood in a more in depth way and felt I accomplished this well. My own
father read the story and was emotional about it so this was validation that I accomplished what I
had hoped and helped my confidence to write a great deal.

Paula Vu

Revised narrative
Memoir: The Day the Music Stopped.
Something is wrong, different. my 9 year old self can feel a sense of panic as I get off the
bus as I do every day. I run instead of walk. Why am I feeling such a sense of urgency? Theres a
chill in the air and a fog settling, its odd that it is fitting my mood. Suddenly I know something.
I know without a doubt that this sick feeling in the pit of my stomach has something to do with
her.

I first got Tia when she was 3 years old. She had been so badly starved and beaten that
leading her the 3 or 4 blocks to my home took an eternity. Each hoof stepped fragily, she was
panting from exhaustion. Each time we stopped to allow her to rest I wrapped my arms around
her massive neck and breathed in the smell of her fur mixed with dust. She would rest her head
on my shoulder until she was able to continue, then start up again. We had bonded instantly. I
was her rescuer from abuse and she was my joy. For the next year and a half we spent everyday
together as I groomed her, fed her, and spoke softly to her. She was the first thing I thought about
with each sunrise and the last one I said good-night to every evening. Having a horse was a great
gift to me. I knew we didnt have a lot of money, but my mom knew my love for horses and
made sure my dream was fulfilled. Half dead or not, she was determined to get me a horse.
Coming from a poor family herself, she always tried to make sure I had everything she could
make possible.

Each day as I left the school bus I was greeted by big black eyes, perked ears, and a low
whiney that came from deep rumble inside and reverberated until her whole body shook as she
expressed her delight in seeing me arrive. I could see the sun being reflected off her now silky,

black coat. When she gets close she nuzzles me and I gently pet the velvet soft nuzzle. I can taste
the dust settled onto her coat. Hey Tia girl, I have something for you! she has already smelled
the apple hidden in my pocket and is anxiously sniffing around to find it. As I feed it to her I
listen to the crunch of the crisp apple and remember the first time I ever fed her one, she took
one bite and ran in a dead sprint, fearful of touching a human hand. Now she will graze in an
open field walking alongside me matching my every step. I pick up a long strand of grass and
chew on the sweet root while she looks at me hoping I will hand it over. This is our routine. Our
gained trust.

But, today. Today is different. Today something isnt right. My feet feel like bricks as I
try to run to her. Tears are starting to sting my eyes, yet I have no idea why. Then, as I get to the
pasture my fears are confirmed. Tia is not there. I call out, Tia Girl! nothing. Where is she?
Why hasnt she come running? I know no one took her for a ride. The only one home would be
my brother and because she was abused by a man, she only allowed females to sit on her. For the
men she stood frozen and refused to budge. Although, I knew she wouldnt be there I ran over to
the hay stack on the slight chance she would be sneaking into the fresh cut hay. The sweet smell
was normally something I loved, but with this new fear inside the sweetness made me feel a
wave of nausea flood over me. I ran inside to find my mom. Hopeful she had good news for me.
Praying that she had just gotten out of the fence. I saw my mom and she had a sweet smile on her
face. This had to mean everything was ok, right? But she looked unsure. I finally blurted it out,
Where is Tia?! Instantly tears were rolling down my face. My moms sweet smile faded into
confusion and worry. Then she switched to her brave face, the one she puts on when food is
sparse and we find a way, or when the car breaks down but she turns it into an adventure. She

lifted her head and pulled her shoulders back and said, We sold her to buy you a violin I could
hear her trying to say more but my ears were ringing and my heart was breaking loud enough
that it drowned out all other sounds. A violin? I had only been playing for a year. I wasnt even
sure I liked it.
I sat down on the floor and wept uncontrollably. My whole world felt like it had came
down around me and I didnt know what to do. When i could muster the strength, I stood and
walked slowly to my room and collapsed on the bed. I felt paralyzed with emotion. My mom
came in to try and console me with words that cut deep. She explained how she wanted me to be
able to continue playing the violin, how we couldnt afford to keep feeding a horse, and how she
had been sold to a girl scout camp where she would be around lots of little girls that would love
and enjoy her. Little did she know this idea cut the most deeply. Other little girls would be
loving MY horse. How would Tia feel? Does she think I abandoned her after all this time
together? I could see in my moms eyes that she was worried about the choice she made. Im still
not sure if it was pride or remorse that kept her from saying she was sorry, but the words were
never spoken. Instead she said in place of her attending a special award banquet with my dad that
evening, she would be sending me as if this was some sort of consolation prize.

I went with my dad that evening and yet, I didnt engage in a single conversation. I
remained in a state of complete numbness for weeks. I had to learn to put the thoughts and
emotions of this into a tiny corner of my mind, so as not to let it eat me up. I continued to play
the violin for a couple of years. But then got bored and quit. My violin is still a scar to me.
Perhaps, that is why I never lost myself in its music.

I went with my dad that evening and yet, I didnt engage in a single conversation. I
remained in a state of complete numbness for weeks. I had to learn to put the thoughts and
emotions of this into a tiny corner of my mind, so as not to let it eat me up. I continued to play
the violin for a couple of years. But then got bored and quit. My violin is still a scar to me.
Perhaps, that is why I never lost myself in its music.

In my next paper a Rhetorical Analysis Where my intended target audience was my daughters. I
wanted to share with them the experiences of other females throughout the world. I didnt wish
for my girls to feel sorry for the girls in this analysis but rather to help them understand that
although others throughout the world live a different life that may seem harsh and unfit for
children, it is very much a reality. I hoped to help others see that sometimes you need to find the
good in things to help you grow. So much of this story was portrayed as slavery or unfair, but
there is so much more to it. It is an eye opening piece of how others dont know any different so
in turn they dont feel sorry for themselves and keep hope alive.
The revisions I made were mainly learning how to show ethos, pathos, and logos. I learned the
influence these can have and made revisions to accommodate them. I am still not satisfied with
my knowledge of how to label these in an essay and will continue learning on my own.

Paula Vu
Rhetorical Analysis:

A Day in the Life Of a House Girl was written by novelist, humorist, essayist, and
journalist, Adaobi Tricia Nwaubani. It first appeared in the Aljazeera, Nigeria newspaper. The
article tells of one example of many examples of house help. Children are sent at very young
ages, this one at age 8, to families that are more privileged. They are expected to work in many
capacities in exchange for food and a roof over their heads. At times they are even allowed to
attend school. They are taken by agents who often demand 6 months - 2 years of payment up
front, promising to pay family members but rarely following through with these claims. Some of
those who are brought into homes as help are subjected to forms of abuse and there are not
laws in place to protect them.
Nwuabanis article brings about much debate among readers. Some believe the practice
of bringing help into their homes is considered child trafficking or slavery. It remains difficult for
many Nigerians to agree that the arrangements they have made are a crime. They are bringing
disadvantaged people that would have little hope of surviving without them. Which is more
difficult? Watching your child starve to death knowing nothing more exists, or allowing them to
be worked, sometimes from sun up to sundown, in exchange for food, housing, and possibly an
education.
Ethos and pathos: In the article Adaobi Tricia Nwuabani presents the information using
pathos coupled with logos thus drawing the reader in with sympathy and compassion for a 10
year old child living a very difficult, yet not horrible life and then allowing a glimmer of hope
after each painful insight. One example of pathos Nwuabani tells of Titis experience only two
years earlier, Titi has had experience of "wicked". For this was not her first job. When she was
eight, her aunt took her to work for a woman who owned several shops selling processed food.
She already had four girls working for her and Titi became the fifth.

They were each given their own mat on which to sleep on the floor of the living room - and their
own koboko cane. Whenever a girl did something wrong, like accidentally breaking a plate, she
would be sent to collect her cane and flogged with it. and by comparison she continues, These
days, Titi wakes at around 7am - although her employers, whom she calls 'Mummy' and 'Daddy',
sometimes wake her earlier if they are up. Her day begins with sweeping and mopping the floor
before she helps Mummy get ready: ironing her clothes, fetching her wigs, cleaning her shoes
and serving her tea. and continues, When she first started working here she had from sunrise
until sunset to complete her tasks. But since she began primary school last September, she must
finish her morning chores before embarking on the five-minute walk to school. This allowing
the readers to consider that Titi may actually be better off than back in her village, she has
someone she calls Mummy and Daddy, schooling. Adaobi continues her article in this manner.
Each incident allows the reader to be drawn in either by the emotions or the hardships of this girl
and then shown there are things that are going well for the child. This is a yo-yo effect that is
sure to raise awareness and attention to the situation.
Ethos: Nwuabani is cautious when addressing a Nigerian audience. She knows the
audience must not feel attacked because the use of house help is practiced and a part of their
everyday life. Her article is, and was by comparison, much more reserved than the same topic
discussed in the BBC news on Sept 10, 2015- which was intended for a western audience. She
mentions the balance as a tightrope between tradition and international law explaining in hopes
to bring awareness to other parts of the world that may have the ability to help.
Adaobi Nwuabani was in charge of the opinion desk at a local newspaper at a time when a story
broke of these less fortunate being shipped to other countries. She was anxious to raise
awareness. She learned that It was common for such workers to take advantage of the system in

developed countries when their eyes opened to the laws of the new land, and of a way to free
themselves from the snare of charity. (In Trouble With the Law 2011, BBC News Letter from
Africa) If she could show how this act was affecting other countries, perhaps they would get
involved.
AdaobiTricia Nwuabani earned her first income from winning a writing competition at the age
of 13. Adaobi is also the first African writer to have got an international publishing deal while
still living in her home country. In 2012, Nwaubani was selected as one of 15 emerging leaders
in government, business and civil society from across West Africa, to attend a "Leadership for
Change" training program sponsored by the Private Investors for Africa. (Wikipedia, Biography,
2013) Adaobi knows she has an opportunity to influence many readers. With quite an impressive
list of accomplishments her sense of humor and experience can bring about change and
awareness.
A Day in the Life of...a house girl by Adaobi Tricia Nwaubani is emotional. It stands to reason
there could be changes to be made but at what cost? If the practice of bringing help into the
homes of the wealthy helps those who may not survive otherwise is it really wrong? Some of this
is simply balance. There is good and bad in every situation in life. In all lies within a spider web
of information, weaved and formed in complex ways that would take a lifetime to untangle or
understand completely. Deciding for others what is best for them is not always as obvious as it
first appears.

For my final paper I am happy to introduce my research project. My target audience is anyone
that I could possibly get to read about it! So many people have pre-formed opinions about ISIS
and those involved. Quite simply they are looked at as nothing more than terrorists. The women

that join them must be crazy, lost and confused. I enjoyed digging deep into a little know subject
to shed some light on the insight involved. Dont get me wrong, I dont agree with ISIS or
approve of who they are. I just firmly believe that most humans do everything with good
intentions even if those intentions dont end well. We should all try to gain an understanding
from their perspective.

Paula Vu
Revised Research Project

Why do women join ISIS?

The terrorist group ISIS is well known for their control and domination over women, yet
some women still willingly give up everything they have to join. The women that leave their
family, home, country and life behind to join with such a group are often very well educated and
from homes of privilege. So why then are they drawn to such a group? There are those on the
inside that recruit and offer something powerfully and mysteriously attractive. Exploring some of
the recruiters as well as the recruits themselves holds only some insight to this perplexing
situation.

From one perspective, joining ISIS brings a sense of deity and deliverance and a sense of
righting a wrong. Everything done by ISIS is claimed to be of religious importance. Obe ISIS
bride who is an active blogger and uses the alias Bird of Jannah (Bird of Jannah Tumblr) appears
to be a compelling recruiter for the group. She writes Whoever gives up something for the sake
of Allah, Allah will substitute him with something better. Bird of Jannah remains largely

anonymous, with the exception of a few photos in complete hijab veil and coverings. She knows
the desires of wanting to please God and become spotless of sin. This is not something unusual
or particular to the Muslim religion. Many religions teach serving God will bring about a sense
of peace and the deliverance they desire. The service and worship of God, a system of beliefs and
practices, and a commitment or devotion to a particular way of life are deep rooted and longed
for. It could be argued that if one could find these things within a community that shares these
beliefs, it would be a very desirable group to become a part of. Leaving behind past mistakes to
cleanse oneself is one very strong pull for these women to join.
Salma, a pseudonym name used for one woman returning from radicalism and now
fighting to help other women, states: If you have conviction youre doing it for the sake of God,
you can do anything. They say itll be hard to leave your mum, but youre doing it for Allah.
Extremists make everything very black and white. (Witt, Joanna) Using this tactic, ISIS
members know it is much easier to make decisions about your life when there is little grey area.
Every choice you make is now right or wrong in the eyes of those you join. Most of the women
that join are particularly vulnerable because they want to do everything right.

Equally desired is the feeling of being accepted and included; an affiliation and kinship
with other women. There is equal satisfaction to be part of a cause that is standing for something
and helping to make a change. This desire carries a sense of empowerment and nobility. In every
society there is a group, team, village, or organization that others strive to become a part of.
There is a longing to be accepted and recognized. Combine both living among a community of
like-minded women with a common purpose and everything seems to be in order. Muhajirah,
another advocate and recruiter for ISIS states, Women under the shade of Khilafah, we walk

without fear of being harassed, free and not oppresses, we are a diamond beautifully preserved.
The promise of being a part of a group that is free from oppression satisfys both belonging and
security.
According to the Institute for Strategic Dialogue London, women of ISIS might also be drawn
or pulled by idealistic goals about building caliphate; want to belong to a sisterhood; or
glamorize what their experience with ISIS might be like.

Additionally, we could consider a womans natural desire to be a part of motherhood,

parenting, and nurturing. These desires are natural instincts of a woman in a world caught in a
whirlwind of role identification. Things within ISIS seem to make sense to these women, with
promises of no racism, no poverty, and free health care. Sharing the strong belief in motherhood
and doing the best one can for her children, there seems to be little to be left to desired. Many
women would do almost anything to become a wife and mother. Going to join with forces with a
group so unshakable in their beliefs of the roles of men, women, and their children it is easy to
understand the lengths they would go to obtain such a seemingly idealistic society.
"We are created to be mothers and wives as much as the western society has warped your
views on this with a hidden feminist mentality. "As Umm Layth writes: "Our role is even more
important as women in Islam, since if we don't have sisters with the correct Aqeedah [conviction]
and understanding who are willing to sacrifice all their desires and give up their families and
lives in the west in order to make Hijrah and please Allah, then who will raise the next
generation of Lions? Sister's [sic] don't forsake this beautiful blessing being able to raise the
future Mujahideen of Shaam."

One person that expresses the motives of these women is a Senior researcher at Quilliam,
by the name of Nikita Malik. Nikitas work focuses on women, extremism and terrorism of the
Islamic State. Malik states, they know very well what they are getting themselves into. They are
going to become wives and mothers.

There are many reasons women join ISIS. The very least of which is the desire to fight.
They truly desire things they deem worthy and good. The reasons behind a womans choice to
join ISIS and how they manage to overcome feeling restricted, demeaned, and trapped is
something we may never fully understand. Seeing the ideals that seem to polarize them like
magnets, helps us to see with a little more clarity where their intentions are born. Their strength
and mindset is in many ways honorable, although misled. What we do with this knowledge is up
to each of us individually. At least now we are armed with a bit of knowledge and insight into the
question of why women choose to join ISIS.

(@ Bird_of jannah twitter.com; unknown date or Bird of Jannah. Tumblr. 3 March 2016)
Note - Due to the elusiveness and nature of Bird of Jannah, accounts are frequently removed and
set up again but can be searched.
(Witt, Joanna,Guardian Live: Why do women want to join Islamic State?.Theguardian. Guardian
News and Media Limited. Monday 27 July 2015. 24 April 2016.
http://www.theguardian.com/membership/2015/jul/27/guardian-live-why-do-young-womenwant-to-join-islamic-state)
(Muhajirah.Tumblr.com;unknowndate.http://diary-of-amuhajirah.tumblr.com/post/115648894024/women-under-the-shade-of-khilafah)

(Michaelson, Ruth. The Week. How the brides of ISIS are attracting Western women. 30 October
2014. @4 April 2016 http://theweek.com/articles/442680/how-brides-isis-are-attracting-westernwomen) Sunrise in Bilaadul Izzah <3 pic.twitter.com/hER1aHqrTc Umm Mu'wiyah.
(@ummmuawiyahh) October 6, 2014) *Account has since been deleted.
(Malik, Nikita.CNN world +. U.S. edition.Why Do Some Women Join ISIS?. 19 November
2015.

http://www.cnn.com/videos/world/2015/11/19/why-do-some-women-join-isis-nikita-

malik-intv-amanpour.cnn)
*Institute for Strategic Dialogue (ISD) is a think tank which aims to work with leaders across
sectors and geographies to develop to the major security and socio-economic challenges of our
time and to enhance Europes capacity to act effectively in the global arena. the Institute now has
three distinct areas of work; Counter Extremism, Education and Europes

This project was where I grew the most this semester. I enjoyed this project on so many levels.
For one, my daughter and I are both taking writing classes and decided to write about this so we
could share information, resources, and bounce ideas off each other. In the end, she backed out
and chose a subject widely used and easily researched. For the first time ever I was brave enough
to work harder, longer, and pursue a harder path than one of my kids as a student! I learned about
the importance of reliable sources. I learned how easy it is for the media to show things as they
want you to see them. Research can get so deep and I had to be cautious in my searches so as not
to draw the attention of government that may perceive my searches as a threat. I also wanted to
avoid leading anyone to believe I had a desire to join a terrorist group. I loved what I learned and
the opportunity to do the research. I hope it brings insight to others on the topic and deters them
from judging too quickly things they see from the outside or from the views of social media.
Knowledge is power and that power can be used in so many ways.