Parent-Teacher Conference

Introduction Email
Dear Ms. Raven,
Good afternoon, I am Miss.McDonald, Jay's 2nd grade teacher. I would love to meet with you to
discuss and collaborate regrading Jay's report card and behavior in class as we close out this first
term. Would you be available to come meet with me this Thursday May 5th at 10:00am? If this
time does not work with your schedule I would be more than willing to find a time that works
better for you. I have planning everyday from 10-10:30 this week and am available before school
as well. Please feel free to come prepared with any questions, comments, or concerns you would
like to share regarding Jay. I want to do all I can to help Jay do his very best in my class and
want to work with you to achieve this goal. I look forward to meeting with you!
Sincerely,
Miss McDonald
2nd Grade Teacher
Eagle Elementary School
Parent Reply
Miss McDonald,
Thank you for the email. This time works for me as I have recently been laid off from my job
and am free all the time. I will come prepared with questions (and a few concerns). Looking
forward to it.
Ms. Raven
Jay Raven Parent Teacher Conference Agenda
Introduction:
Good morning, Im so glad that you came to meet with me
Goal- for us to work collaboratively to do what is best for Jay because you know him better
than anyone

 wanted to meet to discuss Jays behavior and the classroom, I believe is is interfering with his
academic development and I want to see Jay be the best he can be
Strength/Areas to Improve (use note taking guide)
Strengths:
To begin with I love having Jay in my class, he is a bright young boy that is full of potential
strong reading skills
Jay is doing really well in Science. He has shown a lot of interest in animals and knows a lot
about them. He enjoys reading non fiction books and is very interested in the subject as a whole.
Show her writing sample from writing workshop about sharks
Areas to Improve:
I want us to think about Jay and his full potential as we discuss weaknesses, it can be
hard to discuss
Jays disruptive behavior has shifted towards aggressive behavior towards his
classmates recently (6X per day, taking things, hitting, not only in the classroom)
Unfortunately due to his behavior he has been spending time off task and in the principals
office and it is my concern that Jays behavior is resulting in missing out on instruction time in
the class
show decline in grades on last years report card, dont want this to continue
mentioned in your email back to me that you lost your job recently. Have you noticed a change
in Jays behavior since this has happened?
I did some research on the subject last night and it is very common for this to happen to a child
during this time

Present the How can children cope when Dad or Mom lose their jobs? resource
highlight signs of behavior
explain this is normal
read strategies suggested by article
Plan of Action:
I have high expectations for Jay because I have seen him produce quality work and I know
that we can help him overcome these challenges he is facing. I don't want his behavior to be the
reason he struggles
Here are some resources I think we could implement that would help Jay with his behavior and
academic performance
Share feelings chart- explain will help mom, myself, and student be aware of childs feelings
at the beginning of day
Share Positive reinforcement resource- student will respond well to this when they do
something right they receive a punch on chart. Use at home and school. Receive some kind of
reward at home like chose favorite restaurant?
explain that these will be laminated and put on a key ring for Jay to keep in backpack
Share App: Beep & Boop: Beep & Boop allows you to reinforce good behavior with Beeps,
and issue Boops to signal bad behavior. Each Boop deletes one Beep, helping kids understand
that choosing to misbehave comes with consequences. Putting a rewards system in place with
pay-out contingent upon receiving a specified number of Beeps can also be effective if youre
using a rewards versus consequences model of behavioral modification.
perfect for Jay because he loved to play on iPad

Conclusion:
If we work together I think Jay will really benefit from our effort
Please let me know if you have any questions, comments, or concerns at anytime. I want to be
a resource for you and Jay
I think it would be great to have a follow-up meeting in a few weeks to touch base and see how
these resources are working
I really enjoyed meeting with you today
Give parent thanks for popping by goody

How can children cope when Dad or

Mom lose their jobs?
By David Paltin, PhD
(Child Psychologist)

Children Feel the Tension of Job Loss Too

It started with complaints about pains in her shoulders and neck,described
Alexas mother, talking about her 11-year-old daughters symptoms of stress.
She started waking up complaining of pain, and missed a couple of days to
school. We took her toan urgent care, but not before I had an argument
with her dad over the expense. We thought it had to do with problems with
her friends, but she told the doctor it was because ofour money problems.
Alexas father, an auto parts dealer for a majorcar manufacturer lost hisjob
sending his family intoan economic blackhole.Alexa felt the tension and
heard the arguments, and began to feel worried every time she had to ask for
field trip money or a costume for a play she was in at school. Estimatesfrom
Duke University and the Foundation for Child Development predict that over
3 million children will enter poverty because of the currenteconomic
recession. The unfair situation of parental job loss is that children know
something very tragic has happened to the family but they dont have the
coping skills to deal with it.Children are especially sensitive to the
emotionalroller-coaster ofeconomic insecurity, buthavent had the life
experiencesthatparents use totalk themselves throughthe situation.The
effects of economic stress on childrenare real.According to a University of
Davisstudy,children who have a parent that has lost a job are 15percent
more likely to repeat a grade.
Even thoughobvious and drastic changescan occur when mom or dad loses
their job, from cutting out family outings to having to move in with other
family members,problems for children can be traced to more subtle and
underlying changes in the family. My dad startedyelling about lights all the
time,8-year-oldJoseph described, he was a real crab.Inmany studies on
theeffects of recessionson children, the increasein parental conflict and
family tensionis shown to have a stronger effect than the actual loss of
family financial resources. Parents fighting over their situation, blame and

name-calling,and using survival communication with each other, set the

tone for a childs emotional response to looming poverty. Many families
begin to face food insecurity,which has a particularly damaging effect on
the familys sense ofwell-being and security.Whatis the psychological
impact on children of these very real situationsfaced by their parents? In
counseling clinics and childrens health centers we see a risk in children with
survival symptoms, or, psychological conditions that are based in economic
insecurity. Signs of anxiety are especially common, including stomachaches
and headaches, unrealistic worry, and body symptoms such as hair pulling,
nail-biting, or picking. But behavior can be affected as well as children show
more irritability, problem behaviors at school, or isolating inside themselves.
Children are in an especially vulnerable position because they feel the
insecurity but have little or no power to do anything about it. When they see
dad or mom become withdrawn, only to come out of the room or off of the
computer job search to yell about noise or behavior, it role-models a
problematic style of coping to this family challenge. Children watch parents
closely to learn how to handlethe stress of the new situation. If parents are
more irritable and verbally snap more often, it shouldnt be surprising when
children follow closely behind. Some behaviors that may signal that
economic stress has filtered down to children in the family may include:
Irritability andnegative statements about life
Generally anxiousquestions about the future, about the safety of the
family
Increased fighting and arguing with siblings and adults
Frequent physical complaints/calls from the school health office
Greater demands for parent attention/clinging and worries about
separation
Spontaneous offers to help the family with finances
The appearanceof tics, nervous habits, or nervous behaviors
Concerns about losing a home and having enough to eat are particularly
troubling to children. As parents, we have our own difficulties hiding the
enormous stress we feel when we are traumatized by losing our familys
primary income. Fathers and mothers findit hard to resistmaking offhand
comments about not being able to pay the rent or mortgage, about being
forced out by the bank, or negative comments about extras such as a childs
music lessons or the cost of sports activities. Developmentally, children have

difficulty moving from anxiety to planning and problem-solving, and dont

know how to cope with statements like well be living on the street if I dont
find a job.
For 8-year-old Joseph, his parents worried communication about
homelessness and getting enough to eat led him to tears. Id find him in his
room curled up in his stuffed animals crying. When he told me how scared
he was about our situation, I knew we had to get our own language under
control, Josephs mother described. True to his developmental perspective,
Joseph was worried about having to give away all of his toys and had started
to mentally sift through items he would want to keep and ones he would
lose. His father and I had been talking about selling things off to delay
foreclosure, and he took this to mean that the bank wanted his things too.

Finding a Better Way to Cope

Parents often describe a wake-up call from their children, or a day that they
realize that the stress of economic insecurity is breaking the family apart.
When this happens, it is time to change the things that can be changed in the
situation, namely the strategies that parents give to children to cope with this
drastic situation. But what can be done and said when the future does seem
like looking into a dark tunnel? According to the National Association of
School Psychologists it is important to stress the resiliency that people have
in coping with economic crisis, in addition to trying to develop a more
optimistic or realistic outlook. There are some other definitive strategies that
can be taken to address insecurities in children:
Give them a frame of reference, a perspective for understanding what is
happening to them. Some families find support from religion by letting
a child talk to a spiritual leader or youth support person. Another way
of giving perspective is to describe this as a historical event in
occurring in our country, as well as inthe familys history. Talking
about how our grand parents or great grandparents got through their
tough times and how childrenhelped out in keeping thefamily moving
forwardcanoffer hope that thesedifficult times may lead to change but
wont last forever.
Make sure that signs of lifecontinue in the family, and that survival
does not take center stage atall times. Laughing, playing, and doing

things together that celebrate beingin the family are powerful weapons
in fighting back fear.
Help your child understand why you seem so preoccupied at times not
by going over your own sadness and worry, butby stressing that this is
a difficult problem that sometimes takes up your full attention.
Trywritingdown some of the solutionsor options you are thinking of
in your own efforts and show these to your children.
Take care of your own signs of stress. Teach children how a personcan
still be good and kind to themselves even underfrightening
circumstances. Make a point oflimiting your own survival
behaviors such as insecure eating, and instead demonstrate one or two
healthyhabits that you can control during these difficult times.
Haveafamily meetingto comeup with a list of resources, ideas, and
familystrengths. Dont brush away childrens offers of help, because
they arelooking for a sense of purpose and direction just like the
parents in the family.
Take away some of theunknown bydescribing what might change in
the familysroutine, schedules, or activities. Give them some time
frames so they canknow what to expect.Stress that some of these
changes may be temporary and some may be permanent, but be clear
that the changes will helpthe familystay on track through this problem.
The temptationto give in to the whirlwind of emotions thataccompany
lossoffamily income is great, and tempers and negative communication will
happen despite parents bestefforts at self-control. Feelings of
embarrassment andshame about having to approacha church or food
donation organization, or about explaining to relatives the familys
situationcanlead to avoidant responsesthat can be learned by children.
When it is necessaryto reach out for help, letting children know that we stand
together in as a community or country to help each other is a sign of strength,
notweakness. The followingsupport organizations are inthe forefront of
helping address thewidening line between economic security andmiddle
class poverty that many families are experiencing during this recession:
While not offering direct assistance, advice and supportfrom the
governmentsinformation program for affordable housing can be found at
http://makinghomeaffordable.gov/.

The Good Behavior App: Beep and Boop

Another fun FREE app is The StoryBots Beep & Boop. Its the iPhone app that turns
learning good behavior into a game kids love, bringing old-school reward chart systems
into the 21st century.
Parents give kids BEEPs for good behavior and BOOPs as reprimands. Parents can
use the app to create goals and prizes to motivate and celebrate their childrens
achievements. Kids themselves even like to use the app and many parents have said
their kids love behaving simply to get a Beep! Its been out since March, and since then,
grown-ups in 89 countries around the world have given kids 150,000 Beeps and Boops!
- See more at: http://lastheplace.com/2012/11/24/two-new-kid-apps-by-storybots-comstarring-you-storybooks-and-beep-and-boop/#sthash.iHnSZbbu.dpuf

Follow-Up Email

Dear Ms. Raven,

I appreciate you coming in today for our conference. I'm glad that we could discuss Jay's
behavior and the affect it has had on his academics. I look forward to working together
and implementing the resources we discussed today to help Jay get back on track with his
behavior and academics. Like we discussed today, I believe that by improving Jay's
behavior in class his grades will improve as well. Please feel free to contact me at in point
in the coming weeks with any questions, comments, or concerns. I will get in touch with
you in the following weeks in regards to a follow up conference, I look forward to seeing
Jay improve.
Have a great rest of your day!
Sincerely,
Miss McDonald
2nd Grade Teacher
Eagle Elementary School

Response Form

Reflection
The mock parent teacher conference was a great learning opportunity. The thought of
parent teacher conferences had always intimidated me, but now I feel much more confident in
my ability to conference with a parent. Through this assignment I learned a lot about the
importance of parent-teacher communication. Parent-teacher communication is crucial to helping
students be the best they can be, and although it can be a challenge the partnership between the
teacher and the parent has a major effect on a students performance in class.
Prior to the parent teacher conference we were provided with information about our 2nd
grade student, Jay Raven. As I flipped through his report cards, behavior reports, and work
samples it felt like I was trying to solve a mystery. I observed that in first grade the student made
great grades and received positive comments from his teacher, However in the last term of first
grade something changed. Jays grades went down and his teacher became concerned with his
behavior. I came to the conclusion that something mustve happened to Jay that caused this shift
in behavior and academic performance.
To help the students aggressive behavior I found resources like the feelings chart and the
behavior punch card that would help myself the teacher, the parent, and the student be aware of
how he is feeling as well as reinforce positive reinforcement. Since the child loved video games
and the iPad I was also able to find an app called Beep and Boop that the child could play that
reinforces positive behavior. When the parent told me that she had recently lost her job in the
email I felt like I found a major clue. I found resources the support that this behavior was normal
for a child going through this and strategies to help the child cope.

While I was meeting with the parent I felt confident in what I had prepared. I was excited
to share with her the resources I had found and work with her on the plan of action I had
developed. I was excited to praise Jay as well as explain why I felt there had been a shift in
performance. Ms.Raven seemed to respond well to everything we discussed in the conference. I
thought I would be nervous, but since I was so confident in what I prepared I was excited to
share and work with Ms. Raven.
Overall, I feel that the parent teacher conference was a unique and important experience.
Through this I feel much more confident in my ability to conference with a parent. Through this
assignment I have also been able to see the importance of parent-teacher communication. The
process of going back and looking at the students past to explain his current situation is a
process that I will replicate with my future students. I also realized the importance of
preparation. Since I was prepared I was able to feel confident going into the meeting and have an
answer and plan for everything the parent asked me. I know I will take what I learned through
this experience into my future parent-teacher conferences .