Deployment of Military Parents

Nearly 2 million children in United States military families have been affected by a service member
deployment since the start of military involvement in Iraq and Afghanistan.
Of the 2.5 million active duty and reserve military members, 36% are married with children, 6.6% are
single parents, and 2.3 % are dual military families with children In 2013, approximately 1.9 million United
States children had at least one parent in the military; 62 % had a parent in the active duty component;
and 38 % in the reserve component (National Guard or Reserve). Approximately 37 % of children in
military families are between birth and 5 years of age, 30 % are aged 6 to 11 years, 25 % are 12 years to
18, and 7 % are 19 to 22 years.

What is Deployment?
Military deployment is a temporary assignment overseas or within the United States (such as
after Hurricane Katrina); during these assignments families must live apart from their loved one
in the service.

Effects

Show worry and be afraid and sad

Infants - be uninterested, refuse to eat, lose weight(possibly), show fear or be

upset at being separated

Toddlers - sulk, cry, temper tantrums, not sleep well

Preschoolers think that they were bad, toilet issues, thumb sucking, sleep
problems, clinginess, separation anxiety. Also may be touchy, depressed,
aggressive, or complain about aches and pains

School Age perform more poorly in school, moody, aggressive or whiney

Symptoms/Signs to Look For

Bad temper (tantrums), difficulties being soothed, fussy

Tearfulness(crying), sadness, talking about things that scare them

Getting irritated and fighting with others(acting out), anger towards others

Changes in sleep patterns, trouble sleeping

More clinging behaviors at home, not wanting to go to school, wanting more attention

Physical complaints(sick)

Helping Children Cope

Provide unconditional love

Communicate- talk about war, feelings/concerns

provide extra attention, care

stick to routines

Make them feel safe and secure

Let them know that it is okay to feel angry

Distract them( positive and creative)

Talking To Children about Deployment

Infants/Toddlers- reassure them and remain in control of own emotions

3-4 yr. olds- no concept of time, but important markers Mom/dad will be home before
your birthday

5-6 yr olds- mark calendar... specific day when mom/dad will is supposed to come home

7-8 yr olds- understand good vs bad, can mark calendar themselves.. mom/dad going
away to help the good guys

Resources
https://www.zerotothree.org/parenting/military-and-veteran-families-support
https://www.naeyc.org/files/yc/file/200701/BTJAllen.pdf
http://www.realwarriors.net/family/children/managingstress.php
http://www.militaryfamily.org/kids-operation-purple/deployment.html?
referrer=https://www.google.com/
Books

Lily Hates Goodbyes - Kerilyn Marler

Night Catch - Brenda Ehromantraut

Stars Above Us Geoffery Norman

The Invisible String Patrice Karst

I Love You All Day Long Francesca Rusacks Home Again Dorinda Williams

Red, White, and Blue Goodbye Sarah Wones Tomp

The Kissing Hand Audrey Penn

Goodbye House Frank Asch

If You listen Charlotte Zolotow

My Red Ballon Eve Bunting

The boy has been waiting for this day for many months. It's the
day his daddy comes home from overseas. He jumps out of bed
and gets ready for the big event. But before going downstairs for
breakfast, he takes along something very important: his red
balloon. There will be many families and loved ones at the pier.
The red balloon will help his father find him among the crowd. But
as the ship approaches, the boy loses his grip on the red balloon.
Will his daddy find him in the crowd?

Emilys dad is in the military and sometimes he has to leave for

months at a time. Emily knows her dads job is important, but
she doesnt want him to leave! Her dad tells her how he copes
with his sadness, and he even makes her a paper chain to
count down the days of his trip.
Still, Emily is very sad when he leaves. But as each day goes
by, it begins to get a little bit easier. Her mom is there to help,
and with each link Emily takes down from the paper chain, she
is one day closer to her dads return. When she makes a friend
whose dad has also shipped out, she realizes that she is not the
only one who feels the way she does. They count down the days together and celebrate their
fathers return.

School is starting in the forest, but Chester Raccoon does not want to
go. To help ease Chester's fears, Mrs. Raccoon shares a family secret
called the Kissing Hand to give him the reassurance of her love any time
his world feels a little scary. Since its first publication in 1993, this
heartwarming book has become a children's classic that has touched the
lives of millions of children and their parents, especially at times of
separation, whether starting school, entering daycare, or going to camp.
It is widely used by kindergarten teachers on the first day of school.
Stickers at the back will help children and their parents keep their Kissing
Hand alive.