Name

Amelie

Josh

Alice

Massimo

Nikolas

Jake

Katrina

Jade

Ashling

Use of descriptive
Things to work on (Even
language
better if)
Good use of descriptive
Fluency of writing.
language. Good use of
Plot development.
adjectives and adverbs to
Orientation: who,
make interesting
what, when, where,
sentences.
why?
Some use of descriptive
New speaker, new
language, could make
line.
better language choices,

be more specific.
Demonstrates an
Spelling
understanding of
Creating an
descriptive language,
orientation- setting
could use more in terms
the scene, went
of all character
straight into the
description and setting
complication.
description.
Excellent use of
Time management
descriptive language to
Character
describe small things in
introduction
the story. Good for
Setting description
visualising.
Great use of descriptive
Time management-
language to set the scene
could have written
and paint a picture for
more in the time
the audience.
given.
Good use of descriptive
Plot development.
language to set the scene
Should think about
for his narrative.
what he wants to
write before he
starts.
Sentence fluency.
Consistently used
Plot development.
descriptive language
Providing
throughout her work.
information about
how a situation
may have occurred.
Good use of descriptive
Work on tenses
language within her
Punctuation- use of
short story.
quotation marks.
Demonstrates an
understanding of its
purpose.
Uses some descriptive
Using descriptive
language, but more
language
needed to show that she
throughout entire
understands how it is
text.
used to enrich a text.
Character

Anthony. N.

Little descriptive
language, needs to have
more detailed.

Stephanie

Great use of descriptive

language! Clearly
demonstrates ability to
use it to make a text
more interesting.

Jacqueline

Good understanding and

use of descriptive
language.

Niat

Anthony G.

Ashley Payne

Uses some descriptive

language throughout the
text. Could use more,
describing words.

Little descriptive
language throughout the
text.

Some use of descriptive

language- could use
more!

description and
setting description.
Good plot but more
information to the
hows and whys
would have also
been good.
Check your tenses,
changed from past
tense to present
text- authors voice
Needs more order
and explanations of
ideas: who? What?
When? Where?
Why?
Plot development,
while the
description of the
introduction was
great, no plot
development, no
characters or who,
what, when, where
,why?
Writing- using
abbreviations
instead of and.
Remember the
features of a
narrative-
orientation,
complication and
resolution.
Need to organise
ideas better- plan
first.
No abbreviations-
(omg).
Spelling- many
errors.
Tenses- go over
them with him-
they change from
past tense to
present.
Needs more of an
orientation: who
were they? Where

Lachlan

Caylem

No real evidence of
descriptive language,
but writing has only just
begun
Good start to descriptive
language

Caitlin

Good use of descriptive

language, could use
more.

Alisha

Demonstrates clear
understanding of
descriptive language
Needs more descriptive
language

Dominic

Ash Pis
Danielle
Nereeja

No evidence of
descriptive language
No real use of
descriptive language
No evidence of
descriptive language

did they live?

No abbreviations
Time management-
needs to write
more in the time
given.
Better time
management
needed!
Watch tenses
Spelling
Needs to think
about elements of a
narrative before
writing.
Needs to remember
the structure of a
narrative
Use of capital
letters
Work on tenses

Tense changes
Narrative structure
Spelling
Tenses
Plot development
Plot development
Characterisation