Year 10 Model Persuasive speech Evaluate the extent to which the language in the

text/s serves to either empower or disempower Indigenous Australians. (Text

chosen The Apology to the Stolen Generations by the then Prime Minister Kevin
Rudd)
When someone says sorry, it can mean different things
to different people. Kevin Rudd, on behalf of the
Australian Government, gave the long awaited apology
to the generations of stolen Indigenous, but did it make
any difference? Was it productive in bridging the gap
between black and white? Was it simply an attempt to
gain votes or was it giving in to the Indigenous people
to shut them up?
Ladies and Gentlemen, the fact that we are present at
this conference today is proof of the fact that the
intention of the speech delivered on the 8th February
2008, was in fact to empower Indigenous Australians.
The Stolen Generations and Indigenous people of
Australians were empowered by The Apology, given by
a very humble Kevin Rudd.
Not only were the dispossessed Indigenous empowered
by the Apology but ALL Australians not so that we
can forget about the past but so that we can
acknowledge it and move forward togetheras one
nation. The speech used subjective language which
privileged, for once, the indigenous; many persuasive
techniques to win over sceptics, and arguably most
importantly, emotive and empowering language to
sincerely apologise for the Governments past
treatment of Indigenous Australians in order to initiate
a chance for reconciliation.
The Apology speech uses carefully selected language
to ensure that it achieved its purpose first and
foremost to empower those who would receive it in
its intended form. While it does specifically address the
Stolen Generations, it still empowers every human
being who claims this land as their home. The use and
repetition of second person inclusive pronouns us,
we, our remind the audience that we are all in this
together and that this apology affects all Australians.
Stated on behalf of the Australian Government, Mr
Rudd publically recognised the disgraceful past this

Introduction
Context In persuasive
speeches our context is
often a hook that catches
your audiences attention
and positioning them to
adopt your point of view. ( A
hook could be a rhetorical
question, a startling
statement or statistic, a
quote an anecdote or a
reference to the subject)
Thesis statement your
point of view. Sometimes,
the order of the intro is
different in a persuasive
speech the thesis
statement might better
follow the hook because of
the way you have
positioned them in the
hook.
Arguments a very brief
summary statement of your
main points
Point what is the main
idea in the sentence and
how does it relate to the
thesis statement?
Elaboration expand upon
your point
Evidence 1
Evidence 2
Evidence 3

blemished chapter in our nations history. This

phrasing was selected on purpose; it positions
Indigenous people as victims who have been wrongly
treated and it places the blame squarely on historical
decisions made. In any apology, recognising a wrong
and admitting it is paramount in its effectiveness for
those wronged. The selected language reflects on the
past, apologises for it and then shines a light on the
way forward, using metaphor to shape the next
chapter in the history of this great country, Australia.
Australians were clearly positioned to be empowered
by the choice of langauge in the Apology speech.

Link back to point sentence

or thesis

Speech writers use many persuasive techniques to get

their point across and in this case, it is to empower a
race of people who had been marginalised by
government decisions and policies. One technique
used especially well in this speech is the use of words
and phrases designed to appeal to peoples emotions.
By choosing words and phrases like pain, suffering and
hurt and past mistreatment and degradation, the
writer is positioning the audience to feel empathy and
a personal connection with those to whom the apology
is directed. When a personal connection is made,
Australians who doubted the apologys ability to help
heal, made be better able to join other Australians in
making the leap forward, as a united nation no more
us and them mentality. Other perusasive techniques
used effectively to achieve sincerity include the
repetition of the phrase we say sorry followed by a
significant pause. This was also delivered in a reverend
way to increase the persuasive power of the
statements. The alliterative proud people creates a
bias and positions the audience to feel that these
people do not deserve to be second class citizens.
Creating empathy with those who were wronged by
using persuasive techniques clearly helped make this
speech empowering for Indigenous Australians.

Point and how it relates to

the topic

The apology speech, while not laying blame on

dominant social groups, challenges cultural
assumptions about Indigneous Australians through the
deliberate use of repetition of words and positioning
phrases. The apology, through deliberate

Point

Explanation

Evidence 1

Evidence 2

Evidence 3

Link back to P sentence

Elaboration

language choices, challenges racist stereotypes

about Aboriginals and Torres Strait Islanders and
attempts to unite all Australians. It was not that
long ago that past governments refused to apologise or
give any recognition to the Stolen Generations. The
Rudd Government apology not only recognises them
but challenges cultural assumptions about Indigenous
Australians through the repetition of the word proud
when describing their culture. It has long been
assumed by dominant cultural groups in Australia, that
Indigenous people are far from proud of their heritage!
The governments revelation of their own injustices
and by positioning Indigenous Australians as proud
persuades those who feel negatively towards the
indigenous to change their inds and this is perhaps one
of the most empowering things about this speech! The
Apology challenges stereotypes bult up from many
many years of prejudice. Moreover, through the
repetition of the phrase a future, all Australians are
empowered to move forward as truly equal partners.
The deliberate use of repetitive phrases and words
deliberately positions listeners to challenge dominant
and historical cultural assumptions about Indigneous
Australians.

Evidence and example 1

Only each individual sitting in this room today and

arguably, each individual Australian can honestly say
whether the sorry day speech, delivered so eloquently
by Kevin Rudd, was enough to empower them
whether it was enough to move them - whether saying
sorry was enough. Which ever way you look at it
though, it did indeed empower the Indigenous of this
country via its language and use of persuasive
techniques. It would take a truly hard of heart person
not to give in to the power of the persuasive
techniques used in the speech and feel the good spirit
upon which this speech was intentioned. The speech
did bring about a call to action and it did bring about a
better understanding of the need for reconcilliation
between a disempowered minority and a highly
privileged majority. It humbled those who normally are
heightened and it heightened though who are normally
humbled. The Apology called all Australians to shape

Thesis revisited. Go back to

your hook and see if you
can find a good link
between the hook and the
thesis and work it.

Evidence and example 2

Evidence and example 3

Link back to point sentence

Arguments summarise
your arguments into a
simple statement.

General statement of
conclusion

the next chapter in the history of this great country

Have you taken up the challenge?