Shaver1

Shaver Bryanna
English 114 B
Professor Makarosyan
May 16, 2016
Project space; My Space
Everyone has a space they may call their own, a place I would call my space would
be my home church which is called The Outsiders. The Outsiders is not fully an actual church
yet, but is in the process of becoming one. My pastors name is Adrian who is 25 years old.
Adrian is the founder of the Outsiders which started out as just a little Christian youth group of
about 5-10 people when Adrian was just a teen. The youth groups were held in different houses
every Tuesday night. Over the years, 5-10 people increased drastically and we are now on our
way to becoming our own church. The worship band is, the band that plays in the beginning and
sometimes the end of church. They paly and worship God while everyone else sings along and
worships as well. The outsiders worship band is becoming very known. I absolutely love how
welcoming and family oriented the church is. The Outsiders is a belief driven space which allows
me to express myself freely with the support of my community.
Growing up Sundays were always family day as my parents would say to each of us
five kids (me being the youngest). No matter what we always came together as a family starting
Sunday mornings and always led into the afternoons. Our mornings would always start with our
parents getting us up really early telling us to get ready for the day, and we would all get dressed
in presentable clothes. After we were all ready we would go to church, after church we went out
to eat, then did random things together the rest of the day. Now that I look back, I believe I took
Sundays for granted. Sometimes I would be frustrated because I did not want to go to church or

Shaver2
instead of being with the family I wanted to be with friends. I honestly do not even have an
explanation behind me not wanting to be with the family on family days, maybe it was just a
kid/ growing up thing. If I could go back I would definitely change my attitude and view on
things. Today I can honestly say that I am thankful for my parents making Sundays very family
oriented, while also incorporating the day with religion.
Although religion has always been huge in my family and culture, as a kid it was not to
me. It is not because my parents never introduced religion to me, because like said before
growing up that is what our Sundays were based on, but it was not just Sundays. My parents
were always open about religion and their beliefs with us. My mom always worked nights while
my dad worked days. My dad always had the duty of getting us fed at night, showered, and ready
for bed. While reading the story White Tigers by Maxine Hong Kingston, I came across
something that let me connect with the story and my families traditions which was, I couldnt
tell where the stories left off and the dreams began, her vice the voice of the heroines in my
sleep. And on Sundays, from noon to midnight, we went to the movies at the Cofucius Church.
(Kingston 19). It reminded me of the extra duty my dad took on, once we were all ready for bed,
each of us kids would sit in my parents room and he would read us a part of a kids bible every
night. We listened and enjoyed the family time at night, but at some point one by one we would
all end up asleep. I believe I was not so into it because I was so young and didnt have much of
an understanding. Another huge thing that was hard for me to connect to our religion was, we
always went to the Spanish mass. Even though I understand most Spanish, it was difficult for me
to follow along during church. It is absolutely sad, but I feel like because of that I was never able
to have a full relationship with God as I wanted to. Ever since I could remember I was going to a
catholic church. The name of the church was Sacred Heart. From time to time I still visit that

Shaver3
church with my parents, but mostly only for holidays. Not for any reason other than I just never
really felt connected to it. The only connection I honestly have with it is family, and the
connection brings back many memories.
As the years passed, my brothers, sister, and I grew older and that is when I started to
realize that religion started to grow within us. I saw the lord working in my family and faith
building up. One main thing I noticed was my brothers except for one and my sister took a turn
in the road. They were slowly turning to Christian Churches and believing that their religion was
Christianity. To me I felt as if they were going against my parents and the religion we grew up to
be which was Catholic. That is until my family got horrible news and was going through very
hard time. Even though I felt like a hypocrite because of the way I felt about my brothers and
sister, I then saw my self turning towards a Christian church as well.
The tragic news that we unfortunately received was that my mom had breast cancer. The
moment I found out I felt alone, angry, scared, and lost. I found myself becoming depressed and
giving up, I did not have any care for my future. I totally just stopped doing all of my school
work and was falling behind. I did not have any motivation to keep trying in school to get the
grades I needed to get into college. At the moment I did not want to even go to college anymore,
it was not my first priority, my Mom was. A friend of mine noticed, and I told her all about the
depression my family and I were going through. That is when she introduced me to her church.
The Church was The Outsiders. I can definitely say I appreciate her so much for doing so. I
felt very weird and awkward going for my first time especially since I grew up in a catholic
church, that was until I walked in and saw what it was all about. Everyone there was just so
welcoming and sweet. They did not care if you came from a different religion, culture, or what
your beliefs were. All the Outsider Church wanted was to introduce you to Jesus Christ and grow

Shaver4
on from your relationship with him. Just about a month or two into my journey of going to the
outsiders, I saw an absolute change in my life. Of course the fact that my mom had cancer still
hurt me and I also had my days where I would break down, but I suddenly didnt feel scared. I
learned to accept the situation and let god be in control. I started to have faith and realized faith
can get you anywhere. I had faith my Mom will be cancer free soon enough and be able to enjoy
life without that burden of Cancer upon her.
I was able to find that god was able to guide/ walk me through dealing with my mom
having cancer. I found myself focusing more on god and the things he is able to make happen
and change in my life. Most of all I would not be where I am today if it was not for the people in
my community at Church. They are so caring and helpful. I feel so safe with and around them.
When I am in doubt or going through rough patches in life I know I will and always will have
people to run to. I know that they are there to listen when I need to someone to talk to. When I
am happy and just want to enjoy and thank god for life, I have my church to laugh, dance, and
worship with. It it one of the best feelings to know that my brothers and sisters through Christ are
able to help guide me through life with Jesus. The most exciting part is being able to celbrate the
life our father has given us together as one in a safe environment.
My faith has now only taught me a lot about myself, but has also shaped my identity into
who I am today. I could not be more thankful for that. My faith in God today has shaped me into
such a strong human being today. I notice that I handle situations so much better, and am able to
look at the bigger picture of many things. Because of me trusting in God and having faithi have
not been struggling so much with my anxiety and stress. Overall it has influenced me to have a
better view and understanding in life itself.

Shaver5
This month my mom just had her last chemo and in a few weeks she will get one last
scan and with the help of Jesus she shall be cancer free. Till this day I still do not say I am a
Christian even though I go to a Christian church, but I also do not say that I am catholic. I
believe that you do not have to title yourself with any religion to have a relationship and faith in
God. My beliefs may be not understood by many, but just like everyone has their own opinions
everyone is entitled to have their own beliefs as well. One day I may title myself to be Christian
but at this point I still do not know everything behind the religion to be able to accept it. I am
learning deeper about the religion everyday and it is a wonderful journey. I cannot wait to see
what else is in store for me and my community.

Shaver6

Works cited

Kingston, Maxine Hong. "White Tigers." The Woman Warrior. N.p.: n.p., n.d. N. pag.
Print.