Professional Documents
Culture Documents
Writer:
Conflict
1. Does the narrative have conflict or tension? Remember, we want to share the
complex, messy realities of our experience, not the Instagram version. Explain.
Yes, for a second in this story you dont know if he will be able to capture the fish.
It grabs your attention and fully pulls you in.
Persuasiveness
2. Are you persuaded to sympathize with the narrator (the writer)? Have they
crafted themselves into complex characters, or do they feel flat and vague?
Provide examples from the text and explain.
Kris, fully explained himself and this takes place toward the end of the story, he
says, my life revolves around the outdoors. Whether its fishing hunting camping
canoeing or hiking I am 100 percent into it.
3. Are there any ideas or phrases that strike you as well-worn or clich? Is the essay
turning the familiar on its head or should these phrases be reworked so they are
striking and novel?
To be completely honest with you, this first draft is very well put together. Other
than the sound effects given, nothing needs to be changed.
4. In our practice Peer Review, we discussed how the author was summarizing her
experience, rather than slowing down and crafting a narrative. We concluded that
what she had written wasnt the story she needed to tell. Do the storys
constraintsits framing, what includes and leaves outfeel comfortable? Would
a narrower version of the story be more effective? Explain.
No, this story need every sentence given to provide a complete
outcome of the events proposed.
Concrete Details
5. Point out places where the writer effectively uses concrete, sensory details to
illuminate their characters or setting. Why are these so powerful?
it was a cold morning my favorite place in the world, Canada
Strength of Introduction and Conclusion
6. Does the introduction/hook create genuine interest? Does it fall into the trap of
being vague context, and the story really begins in the second paragraph or
later? Why?
The beginning to this story certainly doesnt come across as being subpar or
anything of that manner. It kept me scanning each line for more and more
information.