LCE reece God PARADIGM + Ineffective: I listen with the intent to reply. + Effective: [ listen with the intent to understand. PRINCIPLE To communicate effectively, we must first understand each other. RESULT BEHAVIOR * Greater influence with others * Diagnose Before You Prescribe. * Solutions to complex problems * Listen empathically. * Clarity on real issues * Seek to be understood from the + Faster problem solving other's perspective, © 2005 Franklin 107LISTEN EMPATHICALLY Empathic Listening is reflecting what a person feels and says in your own words. It is not listening to advise, counsel, reply, refute, solve, fix, change, judge, agree, disagree, question, analyze, or figure out. Traditional Chinese character: “to listen with a virtuous heart.” Ears Byes Heart When Lask you to listen and you start giving advice, you have mot done what I have asked. 1¥hen F ask you to listen to me and you begin co tell me why I shouldn't feel that way, you are trampling on my feeling Wien Task you to listen and you feel yor have #0 do something 10 solve my problem, you have failed me, staange as it may seem. Listen! AULT ask is that you listen; uot talle or do—pust hear me. Ralph Roughton, M.D. 110 ainThe 7 Habits of Highly Effective READING THE SIGNS When we communicate face to face about our likes and dislikes, our body language, tone of voice, and feelings communicate more loudly than the words we use. Words we use L How we say words, tone of voice, style Facial expressions, body language Sout: Mehtibian, Alber, Sif es RED Stop talking and listen empathically when! + There is high emotion + You must get to the heart of an issue. * You feel you don’t understand * The other person doesn't feel understood. YELLOW Slow down, Watch and be ready to listen empathically GREEN Go forward and seek to be understood when: * The issue is clear and mutually understood. * The conversation is casual and unemotional. + You're asked to give counsel or advice. © 2008 FranklinCovey uteee cm en nent Habit 5 | Tien to Be Understood THE ELEMENTS OF EMPATHIC LISTENING Empathic Listening is reflecting what a person feels and says in your own words, You feel about Angry, frustrated, Content, topic, or excited, sad, irritated, meaning of what ignored, misunderstood, is being said happy, nervous, hesitant, embarrassed, foolish, upset, discouraged, stifled, disrespected, emotional, confused, speechless, unsure, enthusiastic FS Cor ait ex roe tera As I get it, you feel... So as you see it. ‘You seem... You must have felt You sound. What I'm hearing is... T'm not sure I’m with you, but... Your feeling now is... | Tips: 1. Focus on the speaker, not on your “correct” response to the speaker. 2. Ifyou get stuck, just repeat what the speaker says. If you are sincerely trying to understand, you won't be perceived as being manipulative. | 3. Don't be affaid of silence. Sometimes just listening and saying nothing | is the best way to get to the heart of an issue. 112 © 2008 FranklinCoveyreel ert Omen HABIT 6: SYNERGIZE THE HABIT OF CREATIVE COOPERATION HABIT 4 Think Win-Win eee HABIT 3 Put First Things First HABIT 2 HABIT Begin With the Be Proactive End in Mind 122 © 2005 FranklinCoveyOrem EL aes eee eT PARADIGM + Ineffective: It either your way or my way, or a compromise + Effective: Together we can create a better way, higher way. PRINCIPLE The whole is greater than the sum of its parts. RESULT BEHAVIOR * Innovation and invention Value and celebrate the differences. + New and better solutions + Practice creative cooperation. + Transformed relationships + Appreciation of diverse perspectives © 2005 FrmklinCowey 123aCe te ea WHAT IS SYNERGIZING? Synergizing is a process of interacting that highly cffective people use to get to synergy, or the Third Alternative. Sates ranraet Steet Results-oriented, positive energy. A brainstorming free-for-all that leads nowhere. xamining, exploring, and secking Accepting others’ ideas as full truth different perspectives openly enough to alter or complete your paradigm. Win win cooperation. Win-lose competition. Having a mutually agreed-upon end Groupthink (giving in to peer in mind, pressure). Worth the effort and highly effective. Always easy. A disciplined process. Just a negotiation technique Synergy—Third Alternative 1 + 1 = 3,10, 100 Compromise 1+1=1% Transformation Transaction Defensiveness t+ 4 Contention Hostility 141 1, =10, -100 1 20915 FranklinCoveyeevee re or HABIT 7: SHARPEN THE SAW THE HABIT OF RENEWAL eee HABIT 5 ungsth Fists HABIT 6 inderstand,Then to aiaion Be Understood Synergi HABIT 4 Think Win-Win ee HABIT 3 Put First Things First vast 2 vias 4 f te Proactive “Sdn Hind 138 FranklinCoveyy Effective People PARADIGM + Ineffective: I focus only on getting the golden egus. + Effective: I nurture the goose that lays the golden eggs. PRINCIPLE To maintain and increase effectiveness, we must renew ourselves in body, heart, mind, and soul. RESULT BEHAVIOR + Improved capacity + Renew regularly in the four + Stronger relationships dimensions * Greater reserves * Be strong in the hard moments. * Continuous improvement 1 205 FranklinConer 139Seles ay anc art RENEW REGULARLY IN THE FOUR DIMENSIONS Exercise, nutrition, rest, Consistent deposits in the EBAs of key stress management relationships. ‘SOCIAL/ PHYSICAL EMOTIONAL © MENTAL SPIRITUAL Service, values Reading, writing, clarification, inspiring g, study literature, meditation, nature lear Mark how well you are doing in each of the four dimensions. Poor Physical Excellent a, Social/Emotional Poor ie Mental Excellent Poor Spiritual Excellent Poor — —e © 205 Franklinciney 140