Vasquez 1

Karitza Vasquez
Ms. Holt
English 1P / Period 3
28, January 2016
Natural Beings

The fact is that we have no way of knowing if the person who we think is at the core of
our being. Are you a decent person with the potential to someday become an evil monster, or
are you an evil monster that thinks its a decent girl? - The lies we tell other people are nothing
to the lies we tell ourselves. says Derek Landy. Some people think their nature is good. They
think peoples natural conscience is innocent and how we dont know any better. People are
envious, hateful, and violent because where else do people learn from this?
One reason why people are born evil is because of what they were taught and what it
comes down to their basic senses. In the novel, Lord of The Flies, right off the bat, a character
is jealous of another. Jack is envious of Ralph when the rest of the boys chose Ralph as Chief.
What did Jack decide to do? He bribed everyone to turn against Ralph with meat and no
responsibilities. Afraid of Ralph regaining his rightful place as Chief Jack goes to the other side
of the island and tells Ralph, You go away Ralph. You keep at your own end. This is my end
and my tribe. You leave me alone On page 176. By looking at that, readers can assume he is
worried and selfish. Keep in mind he's about 12 years old. It is important to note this because
We would have thought 12 year olds and younger wouldve been innocent enough not to go out
and do something unimaginable. In real life, tests were tested on two groups of children. A
group of 6 years old - 9 years old and another group of 10 and older. The group of nine and
younger chose to make sure that they had more than anyone else. Rather when they tested the
other group, the children chose their opponent to be happier. Even if they received less.
To better understand the situation, what is the first thing that shows up when you
turn on the news? Tragedies, violence, crime, etc. The news is bias based. 47% is Racial

Vasquez 2
problems, 1.8% Gender, 18.5% Sexual Orientation, 1.5% disability, 18.6% Religion, and 11.9%
ethnicity. Another reason why people are born evil is because of their hatred. In a 60 minutes
video, they introduced a researcher from Yale and his wife that were conducting a debate
whether people are born with good nature or bad nature. One of the many tests showed that
87% of the toddlers tested, wanted a puppet that had less in common to suffer. So the
researchers have decided that babies are just bias. The babies seemed to want their kind to
have better things rather than others. To better understand this position, in reality, what do we
do when others point of views are different the our own? We tend to dislike it and disregard
their opinions. For example, Politics, Religion, Race, and other topics. In a way, most of us think
ISIS is way to extreme and it's wrong what they're doing. But in their eyes, they're doing the
right thing. Racism still exists along with stereotypes. When most people think Muslims, they
think terrorists. When some think Mexicans, they think drug lords and rapists. Hence Donald
Trumps point of view of Mexicans. Racism and discrimination has a lot to do with why people
are evil. It is clear that when others have different views, we kinda shut them out and vise versa.
Subsequently, people are violent. By looking at Lord of the Flies, readers can assume
that people, even kids are capable of anything. They hate you Ralph. They're going to do you.
They're going to hunt you tomorrow. We're going to spread out in a line across the island. We're
going forward from this end - until we find you. It is important to note this because it reminds us
that all people are evil. No matter who we are and what we've done, we are somehow evil. It is
clear that even in real life, hunt each other for our disagreements. Why do you think we have
soldiers in Afghanistan and wars started or continuing. If we do not agree with one another, out
first solution is war. Have we tried any other way? If we have and it didn't work, what's another
solution? Violence should always be the last option.
Although some people think people's natural instinct is being good. According to us,
babies are born without knowledge of the world. On the other side, if people are born with good
intentions, then who teaches us the evil of the world? We have no one to blame other than

Vasquez 3
ourselves. Nonetheless, it is essential for people to recognize that people are born evil and we
are at fault for what's evil.
Rubric rating submitted on: 2/5/2016, 10:46:37 AM by bholt@ggusd.net
6

Statement
of
Purpose/F
ocus
Your
score: 4

Superior a-b Claim

and
counterclai
ms are
superior to
a5

Strong a.Claim is
clear,
focused
and
maintaine
d and b.
Alternate
or
opposing
claim(s)
are
adequatel
y
addressed

Proficient a. Claim is
clear, and
for the
most part
maintaine
d, though
some
loosely
relevant
material
may be
present b.
Alternate
or
opposing
claim(s)
are
introduced

Marginal a. Claim
may be
clearly
focused,
but is
insufficient
ly
sustained
and b.
Alternate
or
opposing
claim(s)
are
unclear or
unfocused

Weak - a.
Claim is
unfocused
and
insufficient
ly
sustained.
b.
Alternate
or
opposing
claim(s)
are
unclear or
not
present

Inadequat
e - a.
Claim may
be
confusing
or
ambiguou
s. b.
Alternate
or
opposing
claim(s)
are not
present

Off topic,
no
repsonse

Organizati
on
Your
score: 3

Superior c.
Transition
al
Stategies
and logical
progresion
of ideas
are
superior to
a5

Strong - c.
Consistent
use of
transitional
strategies
d.Logical
progressio
n of ideas
from
beginning
to end e.
Effective
introductio
n and
conclusion
for
audience
and
purpose

Proficient c.
Adequate
use of
transitional
strategies
with some
variety
d.
Adequate
progressio
n of ideas
from
beginning
to end
e.
Adequate
introductio
n and
conclusion

Marginal c.
Inconsiste
nt use of
basic
transitional
strategies
with little
variety
d. Uneven
progressio
n of ideas
from
beginning
to end e.
Introductio
n and
conclusion
are
present

Weak - c.
Limited
use of
basic
transitional
strategies
with little
or no
variety d.
Unclear
progressio
n of ideas
from
beginning
to end e.
Introductio
n and
conclusion
are
attempted

Inadequat
e - c. Few
or no
transitional
strategies
are
evident d.
Has a
major drift
in the
progressio
n of ideas
e.
Introductio
n or
conclusion
may not
be present

Off topic,
no
repsonse

elaboratio

Superior -

Strong - f.

Proficient -

Marginal -

Weak - f.

Inadequat

Off topic,

Vasquez 4
n of
evidence
Your
score: 3

language
and
vocabulary
Your
score: 4

convention
s
Your
score: 3

Exception
ally
coherent
and welldeveloped
argument

Superior Impressive
control of
language

Superior Demonstr
ates
syntactical
variety,
and
superior
grammar,
usage,
and
sentence
formation.
Standard
use of
punctuatio
n,
capitalizati
on, and
spelling

Use of
relevant
evidence
from
sources is
integrated
with
appropriat
e citation.
g.
Effective
use of
elaborativ
e
techniques

f. Some
evidence
from
sources is
integrated,
though
citations
may be
general or
imprecise.
g.Adequat
e use of
some
elaborativ
e
techniques

f.
Evidence
from
sources is
weakly
integrated
and
citations, if
present
are
uneven.
g.Marginal
or uneven
use of
elaborativ
e
techniques

Evidence
from
sources is
included,
but not
integrated
or
appropriat
ely cited
g.Elaborati
ve
techniques
are weak

e - f. Use
of
evidence
from
sources
minimal,
absent, in
error, or
irrelevant
g.
Elaborativ
e
techniques
are absent

no
repsonse

Strong - f.
Effective
use of
elaborativ
e
techniques

Proficient f.
Adequate
use of
some
elaborativ
e
techniques

Marginal f. Marginal
or uneven
use of
elaborativ
e
techniques

Weak - f.
Elaborativ
e
techniques
are weak

Inadequat
e - f.
Elaborativ
e
techniques
are absent

Off topic,
no
repsonse

Strong - i.
Demonstr
ates some
syntactical
variety, but
may have
minor
errors in
grammar,
usage,
and
sentence
formation
j. Standard
use of
punctuatio
n,
capitalizati
on, and
spelling

Proficient i. Some
evidence
from
sources is
integrated,
though
citations
may be
general or
imprecise.
j.Adequate
use of
some
elaborativ
e
techniques

Marginal i. Use of
academic
and
domainspecific
vocabulary
may at
times be
inappropri
ate for the
audience
and
purpose j.
Frequent
errors in
grammar
and usage
may
obscure
meaning

Weak - i.
Use of
academic
and
domainspecific
vocabulary
is largely
inappropri
ate for the
audience
and
purpose
j.Frequent
errors in
grammar,
usage,
and
sentence
formation
obscure

Inadequat
e - i. Uses
limited
academic
language
or domainspecific
vocabulary
and has
little sense
of
audience
and
purpose j.
Errors in
grammar,
usage,
and
sentence
formation
are

Off topic,
no
repsonse

Vasquez 5
meaning

frequent
and
severe,
and
meaning is
often
obscured

Comments:
You have a strong position, and you have chosen relevant examples; however, the organization
of the essay makes it difficult to follow. You do not need to use the sentence frames in your
essay, but it is important to make sure the structure of the essay follows the skeleton. Each
paragraph should begin with a clear topic sentence and then be followed by two says, means,
matters chunks.
Score: 3+