IN THIS ISSUE.. IBA IoIMLW CI-OD (We Rib Bank-Robbers!])NUMBER 119 JUNE 1968 VITAL “BALMY Bat sk ass pat ec fro age ccc er np cLoD ipo cet SE wot ay Pet WILLIAM M. GAINES publisher. ALBERT B. FELDSTEIN editor JOHN PUTNAM art drecior LEONARD BRENNER production TERRY De FUCCIO, NICK MEGLIN asocate editors JACK ALBERT lawsuits GLORIA ORLANDO, CELIA MORELLI, JOAN ZECCA, (CURTIS ANDERSON, IVAN LODICHAND subscrpons CONTRIBUTING ARTISTS AND WRITERS FETISH” the usual gan of iaions PRIMER Pg. 16 DEPARTMENTS {AS MANIA GOES, 30 GOES THE NATION DEPARTMENT he MAD tena & Fatah Primero 16 BERG'S-£VE VIEW DEPARTMENT The Lighter Side Of Hobbies - Siwsa banat « ole ee BIRTH OF THE BLUES DEPARTMENT BASKETBA Ds Ree Yaris Realy Paroate Whar 202.0020 ereees2 2 TeAMs DON MARTIN DEPARTMENT ACen ee 10 One Bey in An Otcs 8 HOOP-1A DEPARTMENT MADS 108 Al Star Basketball Teams 8 LETTERS DEPARTMENT Peace iets Ot neater Med =a MARGINAL THINKING DEPARTMENT Drawn-Out Dramas by Aragones . PINS AND NEEDLES DEPARTMENT Famous Prteet ute Wor By Famous People .......95 PRO'S PROSE DEPARTMENT evsonalzed Absence Notes 4 SCIENCE-AFFLICTION DEPARTMENT The Invasonere(A MAD TV Sai) oocecverseeece ee STATUS WOE DEPARTMENT Songs OF Wealth and Possess0n8 oo. coos 82 ‘TAKE OFF TAKE-OFF DEPARTMENT YOU KNOW MAD's “Minor Personal Loss’ Income Tax Return crea nel YOU'RE REALLY TILLTHE CLODS ROLL BY DEPARTMENT PARENTS Wast le A Square? ea MEN: TONGUE-IN-CHEEK DEPARTMENT | ie Me and My Big Mouth 14 WE RIB BANK ROBBERS DEPARTMENT Balny and Clod (A MAD Movie Satie) <..ccccecsssseseee 4 “*Various Places Around The Magazine “THE INVASIONERS” (AMAD. TV SATIRE) Pag. 43.Where docs a nightmare begin? For David Blintzint it began one lost For David Blintzint, the nightmare began with night on a lonely road, looking for a short-cut he never found a closed, deserted Diner, and the landing of a «jal rom another galaxy, aliens from a decaying sea cA SCIENCE-AFFLICTION DEPT. Girls! Girls! GirletGirtst CRYSTAL DINER THY TORS O08 TT ES —_ THE How anybody Ts ts0 absolutely unbelievable fit could even THINK ‘that we ae aliens In human form, ma af opening a ‘and the only way to tellus from es Wait You is by our protruding pinky? Yes, the nightmare has begun. Now at last David Blintzint knows that “The Invasioners” are here, and now-he must try to convince a disbelieving world! TONIGHT'S EPISODE: ; “It Ain't Easy Trying To Convince A Disbelieving World"! ieime prove that alien creatures have landed—that they are preparing to take over Earth—and that the only way to tell them from ordinary human: || beings is by their protruding pinkies— pictures of whatever it Everything you hold near and dear {| Jdepends upon that film—the house You live in—this plot of earth— 7] that tree—the grocer—the butcher ‘and the children that you see! ‘A whatl? That's ridiculous! I've heard of sightings of flying chimney-sweeps and flying maids and flying nuns—but a flying POTTY!? It's publicity. secking Jerackpots like tl tough on us le it business? i However, Veame this far ‘Charlie that make it imate UFO spotters! Yes, America’s future—and the future of You can talk to him all you want—but he ain't gonna answer yo ‘Oh-oh! That man at the counter with the pinky raised! He's ‘one of them!Yes, I'd like to have this roll of film deve!—O0PS! Hey! You knocked that right out of ‘my hand! Twas rahi [alt right, isan ‘ell me Indoctrination ‘School—where they train aliens to be typical ‘Americans so they can inftrate and destroy our society! we ‘Sorty! Gee, your tlm is ruined! Oh, well, it doesn't matter! We don't, develop film anyway! This is a drug ‘store! We only sell drugs! ‘and un-American about a drugstore that only sells drugs! It J) must be a front for another Today, in our “Typical LI ‘American Cheating” course, we will cover simplified cheating lon Income Tax Forms... Does anyon: know what i society! Lucky for It’s as though he escaped through [some secret trap door!We're too late! They This is all knew that I knew, so they cleared out! But} need they eft this bebind! ‘And my evidence along f ‘with im! But with YOU backing me up, ‘the authorities will believe my story n Ira,thank Too bad you! ccan't keep it, Mr. Blintzint i—3 Okay, FIThelD ‘Sorry, David, you=but this [squares us! Just because you let lms for the ‘Army Gee, David, I'd tke to help ‘you, but 'm up for promotion! Tean't risk my career on some ‘crazy story about an invasion of aliens from another world! ‘myself! | must convince tl ‘President that the country is in mortal danger!lve got to tel , Ronit] [Wag dca |[Mineame we Grnese [cana ae sere” Ata ag||"aeait | | Shermattee tvasioners— ||°in to see th but how do |) white Hot Tgetin line up here! to s08 him?! Badge in Karate! would have to pick! Ja Scout with a Merit lcrossing the street'TFaiow mel] | Just completed a survey} 10ws his popularity is at an’ ‘and that's the | [~ Listen, son! Aird lahkt he'p you! But ‘ruth, Mr ‘Ai eain’t! Ah'm havin’ enough trouble President! You've | | tryin’ convince the people t’ believe otto convince | | MAH stories—about why we're in Vietna the people to | | —an’ why we need higher taxes—an' why believe my story! | | they should support mah Great Society— a