Get Him Back Forever

Table of Contents
Chapter #1
A Lesson On Male/Female Dynamics ……………………………… 6
Chapter #2
Understanding Why He Broke Up With You ……………………... 15
Chapter #3
No Contact ………………………………………………………… 21
Chapter #4
Push/Pull Theory …………………………………………………... 29
Chapter #5
Letting Go: Strategies To Reverse Rejection ………………………32
Chapter #6
Taking Your Life Back: Other Strategies To Reverse Rejection …. 35
Chapter #7
If He’s Already Dating ……………………………………………. 44
Chapter #8
Preventing A Breakup Before It Happens In The First Place ……... 47
Chapter #9
Rewarding Good Behavior ………………………………………... 52
Chapter #10
Punishing Bad Behavior …………………………………………... 56
Chapter #11
Let Him Invest In You …………………………………………….. 61
Chapter #12
Re-Evaluating Your Relationship …………………………………. 64
Matt Huston’s “Get Him Back Forever” © 2008 Page 2

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Introduction
First of all, I’d like to congratulate you on purchasing this life chang-
ing product. I promise I will deliver 100% of the promises I made on
the sales page. This has truly been a labor of love for me, and regard-
less of how well this book sells, I take pride in knowing I have created
the best possible product I could ever hope to produce. I truly believe
that.
Sometimes it seems as though men are off in their own little world.
The lack of emotional sensitivity, their inability to pick up on the
“right” thing to say at the right time. It can be unbelievably frustrat-
ing.
This book is all about demystifying men and giving you a step-by-step
blueprint to getting the man of your affections back (and for good this
time). It deals with strategies you can start applying literally the
minute you read about them.
In my opinion, getting your ex boyfriend back will be the easy part.

It’s keeping him “tame” and loyal toward you that is the real chal-
lenge. I will go far beyond simply teaching you to get your ex back
and toward the end of this book we will begin discussing methods and
techniques to keep the man in your life under your “spell”. No mani-
pulation or anything unethical required.
With the divorce rate hovering at over 60% in the western world,
there is definitely something happening NOW in our society that
wasn’t in the past. I made it my mission to discover what exactly it
was and how exactly to maintain a fulfilling, long lasting and loyal
relationship.
As a professional relationship coach for almost six years now (as of

this writing), I began to pick up on common trends and patterns. I be-
gan to see what common things couples did that lead to their eventual
breakup. And later, what common things couples did to get back to-
gether.

I had succeeded and “cracked the code”. You, my dear friend, will
reap the benefits of my quest for relationship success.
This book is not just written from the perspective of a man – but also
from the perspective of many women who successfully got back their
boyfriends (and husbands). I took it upon myself to interview as many
women as I possibly could. You see, male-female dynamics has al-
ways been something of interest to me. I talk about it whenever I get a
chance to. What I have discovered as a result is nothing short of asto-
nishing.

B
efore we get into the “getting your ex boyfriend back” part, I
need to take you on a little journey first. If I just give you the
steps without you understanding the core reasoning behind
them, I doubt they would be anywhere near as effective. So let’s be-
gin:
Men and women have always been “wired” differently from one
another. Sure, there are many similarities, but I don’t think I really
have to convince you that there are vast differences in terms of how
our brains function. Differences in what we are both attracted to on a
deep, psychological level.
Traditionally, it is the woman’s job to be the selectorin courtship ri-

tuals. Scientifically speaking, it’s the man’s job to pursue and the
woman’s job to either accept or reject said advances. It’s literally been
like this for all of human evolution. Our brains are hard wired to take
on these so called “roles”.
Now, obviously this can be a huge advantage for women, if only they
would embrace and accept this concept in its entirety. In many cases
this role gets reversed and a woman will find herself pursuing a man
– not the other way around.
Sometimes women will begin to seek her mans approval by dressing

overly sexy, pretending to like or be interested in the same things he
is, etc. Think back and try to remember when exactly the tables
turned?
Originally, was it your ex boyfriend who displayed interest in you and

pursued you? Was he the one working and chasing you? Did you ul-
timately select him? I’m willing to wager he was. But something
changed along the way; something that made him lose interest in you.
Your desire for a lasting long term relationship was so overpowering,

you valued that pursuit more than selecting the best possible mate on
your terms (the way it’s supposed to be).
The typical courtship ritual goes something as follows:

The man shows interest and attraction for you. Chemistry starts to
kick in and you “test” him to see if he’s a good fit or not. In essence
you are the selector, testing to see whether or not he is a good fit for a
long term relationship.
To regain control of your failed relationship, you must clearly estab-

lish that you are the selector and he is the one pursuing you. You need
to re-affirm your feminine role as the selector and not the selectee.
“He who cares least, controls the relationship”
Remember those words, because right now you care most, otherwise
you would not be reading this book. And let’s face it, you cannot sud-
denly turn off your strong feelings for your ex boyfriend and magical-
ly care less. Emotions don’t work that way (although it would certain-
ly be nice if they did).
The good news is, there are very specific things you can do to re-
affirm your role as selector again. There are things you can do to drive
your man crazy with jealousy and desire (we’ll get to that in later
chapters).
Casual Girl vs. Girlfriend Material
You must never be just a “casual girl” to any man you value. This is
for your benefit as much as it is his. The truth is, there are women
men keep around as just “casual girls” and then there are those who
they consider “girlfriend material”.
Kind of like how most all women have men who they just consider
friends (and would never sleep with) and others that they would in a
heartbeat. With men, this phenomenon is not as pronounced.
This may or may not apply to you, but if you are currently still sleep-
ing with your ex boyfriend, stop immediately. Don’t fall into the trap
of believing that just maybe he will want you back if you maintain

your physical connection. You need a commitment from him. One
that doesn’t just involve sex.
How can he ever place value on you if you hardly even value yourself
enough to expect more than just sex? You DO want more than that,
otherwise you would NOT be reading this book.
If you -really- no matter what, wanted to get your boyfriend back,

you would call him on the phone and tell him that he could have sex
with you, no strings attached any time he wanted to, anywhere and in
whatever manner he wanted. Most men would accept those terms and
you would “have him back” -but that’s not what you want.
You want his heart. You want him to love and desire you. You want
to be pursued and viewed as a prize; held up proud in front of all his
friends.
If you cannot value yourself enough to recognize when enough is

enough… he owns you. And if he thinks he owns you (and this is true
for both sexes) he will walk all over you.
Again: He who cares least, controls the relationship.
I want to drill those words into your head because they ring so true.
The Hollywood, fairytale version of a happy couple simply does not
exist (and never has). Yes, love is alive and a very real emotional
state, but you cannot allow yourself to let that emotion take over your
better judgment.
Love is a lot like a drug when you really think about it. You can be-
come so addicted to a man’s validationthat you would literally do an-
ything to get it… just a little more… more… And then he owns you.
And he knows it.
Perceived Value Is Everything in a Relationship
Who wants what they already have? I mean, really think about that.

Of course, that question goes far beyond male-female relationships. If
somebody were to take the internet away from you, TV and other
forms of passive entertainment, you would go nuts! I sure as hell
would.
You take them completely for granted. But, if you knew in advance
that you were on the verge of losing them, you would place a hell of a
lot more value on those things. In fact, you would take steps working
toward keeping them.
So what does this have to do with relationships? Everything. The key

to keeping any man interested, attracted and putting effort into you is
to never let him believe he completely has you no matter what.
Kind of like when you put a string in front of a cat and let it run
around endlessly chasing after it. Then, when you lay the string down,
it no longer wants it. Yes, I can be cruel and I have done this before. :)
You can be loving and you can be caring - but you can never let your
man believe that you are the metaphorical string laying on the floor.
Valueless.
Getting your man back, requires you to (in a sense) give him the same
feelings you are experiencing now. You want him to feel rejected by
you.
We’ll get into that later…
The Myth That Men Only Want One Thing
I hear this all the time and it really bothers me. Let me get one thing
straight: yes, men are more fixated on the physical aspect of a rela-
tionship. This is genetic and there is no changing it. Work with it –
not against it. However, it is absolutely not the only thing a man wants
out of a relationship. Trust me on that.
Studies show that a lot more men commit suicide after a breakup than
women. A lot. A deep connection with a man is harder to form from

the start, but once that connection is made, it can become extremely
strong.
Women typically reserve their emotional connection for their child-

ren, while men reserve it for the one woman they fall head over heels
for; yes I will help you become that woman in his eyes so keep read-
ing.
There is no question in my mind that men want validation and a sense

of being loved by one special person just as strongly as women do.
No question in my mind at all.
And, we can use that to our advantage when getting him back.
Walking Power
Too many women are afraid of their own boyfriend’sdisinterest. At

our core, we are all approval seeking beings. We are a social species
and it is in our nature to desire love (and to give love). Women are
afraid that if they demand respect, they will lose their boyfriend. It’s
funny and ironic how the opposite is actually true.
To some women, the fear of losing their boyfriend is literally crip-

pling. Maybe you’re even one of those women. Regardless of what
your answer is, you need to understand the concept of “walking pow-
er”.
Understand that if a man assumes that no matter how poorly he be-

haves, you will never leave him (walk away from him), he will con-
tinue to push your boundaries until they collapse. And as you now
know, women without boundaries have very little perceived value.
Hewill leave you when he feels as though he has complete control

over you. Or, keep you around as a “side girl”, “booty call” or what-
ever you want to call it. I know that’s not why you bought this book.
You don’t want to be that girl.

This is why having solid boundaries is of the utmost importance.
You need to be able to stand your ground and walk away from him if
you must. I promise you that once he knows you are a woman with
strong boundaries he will always respect you, with minimal “testing”
on your part.
You cannot show your boyfriend that you are afraid to lose him. With
that said, it’s still perfectly fine (and required) to let him know you
care about him (when in the context of a relationship). In fact, no rela-
tionship will last if he thinks he means nothing to you. What I’m say-
ing is that you must not become so invested in him emotionally, that
losing him would seem like the end of the world to you.
He needs to know that without him, you would have no problem mov-
ing on with your life. Assume the attitude “I like you, but if we break
up, it’s not the end of the world.”
When entering into a long term relationship, you truly need to adopt a
mindset that relationships are finite. Your relationship (in all proba-
bility) will not last until death due you part. Yes, it may, but ap-
proaching the relationship accepting things will not last forever, will
actually help achieve the latter. Oh the irony.
You see, when you’re boyfriend broke up with you, you lost your
“walking power”. It happened gradually throughout the course of your
relationship. You were no longer willing to walk away when he did
something unreasonable. And little by little he began to realize that he
could pretty much get away with anything he wanted.
He completely had your heart at this point. This is not a good position
to be in if you’re a woman in a relationship. It’s a debilitating position
and you feel helpless. You know you shouldn’t put up with his BS,
but you do anyway, which leads to what I call Negative Patterns of
Behavior.

Negative Patterns of Behaviour
Negative patterns of behaviour are basically anything you let your

boyfriend get away with that you would otherwise not do for some-
body else. In the beginning of a relationship we tend to “put up” with
much more than we are willing to maintain months down the road.
For this reason, it is far more effective to set your off limit boundaries
at the very beginning of your relationship. If you wouldn’t put up with
your boyfriend being late six months into your relationship, then don’t
put up with it one month in. Catch my drift?
Avoiding negative patterns of behaviour is absolutely critical when

defending your boundaries. Once a negative pattern has been estab-
lished, it is very hard to break. We humans are creatures of habit; we
absolutely hate breaking a comfortable routine. Especially men.
Your “boundaries” must be set early on within the relationship. In

your case, right after you have him back. Letting your boyfriend bla-
tantly disrespect you will only cause a pattern of negative behaviour
to form. He’ll basically get used to you putting up with his crap, and
expect that sort of passive compliance from you.
Once you finally clue into what’s happening, you will confront him
about his rude behaviour, to no avail. He’ll probably even laugh at
you. You see, a negative pattern of behaviour has already been estab-
lished and it will be an uphill battle to break out of it.
This is exactly what happened in your relationship. Negative patterns

of behaviour were established early on. When you stopped putting up
with these “patterns”, problems occurred. Arguing, ignoring each
other, etc.
If you don’t like your boyfriend treating you differently when he’s
around his friends, then don’t put up with it from thevery beginning
of your relationship. It would be dishonest if you let your boyfriend
do anything you don’t like during the “honeymoon phase” of your re-
lationship, only to get angry at him for doing it later on down the
road. Establish your boundaries early on.

If you like going out with just the girls every Tuesday, make sure you
do so from the very beginning. Don’t forego the things you enjoy in
the beginning, only to re-establish them at a later date. When you try
to re-establish a new pattern of behaviour, your boyfriend will inter-
pret it as you either losing interest in him or being mean and/or con-
trolling.
If you had set the precedentfrom the very start, (in a nice, non-
aggressive way) you wouldn’t run into that problem down the road.
No negative pattern of behaviour would have been established.

L
et’s clear up twocommon misconceptions:
1. He did not break up with you because of anything you specifi-

cally said or did. It goes deeper than that.
2. He (probably) did not break up with you because of your ap-

pearance.
There are four main reasons, in my professional experience; that men

leave women.
Reason #1: Too Much Effort
The most valuable piece of advice ever given to me went something

along the lines of this: “We value that which we work for.” It rings
true for physical possessions as well as with actual people.
It is truly sad, but he very well may have lost interest in you based
solely on your over-accommodation toward his needs. We value that
which we work for and if he believes he no longer must work pleas-
ing you and making you happy, his perception of you will be that of
low self-esteem.
It is human nature to push people with low self-esteem away from us.
Indeed it is a very unattractive trait.
In fact, people with low self-esteem try to “force” others to like them
through being overly accommodating and giving. Now, I’m not say-
ing you should have been selfish, just that you should kept a mental
note as to how much he was actually pleasing you, and reward him
accordingly. (See the chapter on punishment/reward).
In a perfect world, this would not be the case, but alas this is not a
perfect world and w must accept reality.

Reason #2: The Routine of Relationships
The harsh reality of relationships is that two people become so com-

fortable with one another that they basically stop trying. There is no
more “thrill of the chase” or sexual tension. They begin to take each
other for granted and thus begins the collapse of a once “magical” at-
traction for one another.
Both men and women are always comparing their mate to other poten-
tial prospects all the time. Even if only on a subconscious level. When
your man begins to assume you will always be around, he loses his
motivation and urge to compete for you.
Men are genetically hard wired to complete for the best possible mate.
As a woman, the “trick” to keeping a man loyal and even happy in

the long term, is to always have him thinking in the back of his mind
“I better stay on top of my game or I just might lose her…” This isn’t
unethical in any way shape of form – indeed he will only value and
love you all the more for it.
The typical story I hear constantly goes something as follows:
“Things were great in the beginning Matt, but then she started to let
herself go. She was always flirty toward me in the beginning, laugh-
ing at my jokes and being all ‘touchy feely’ with me. Then all that af-
fection gradually went away until there was no more ‘magic’ left. It
was just all boring routine. Nagging, bitching….”
That was an actual conversation I had with a male friend of mine a

few weeks ago. He ended up breaking up with her, saying “we’re just
not a good fit anymore.”
Let’s face it, women (and men too) let themselves go as the novelty of
a new relationship wears off. Men have egos and they have as big of a
craving for validation as you do.

You need to regain your value and establish yourself as the high value
woman you once were in his eyes. Yes, there are specific techniques
for doing this and I will delve into them in later chapters of this book.
For now, I want you to think about the woman you were when you
first entered into your relationship and the woman you eventually be-
came. Really think about it and be honest with yourself.
What changed? Did boring routine take over and you stopped caring
about the way you looked? Did you pick fights with each other over
seemingly insignificant things? I’m willing to bet there was definitely
a large element of boring routine involved in your breakup.
Reason #3: Neediness & Insecurity
Annnnnnd the universal attraction repellant is… Neediness, insecurity

and validation seeking behavior.
Guys tend to view women who are too needy as daughters. They feel
as though they need to take on a Father-like role. To a lot of guys (for
obvious reasons) that is unattractive.
If you’re an overly emotional type of woman and tend to pass that

emotional burden onto your boyfriend, he may have called it quits for
that very reason. The emotional burden could have become too much
for him to handle.
Personally, I have broken up with a woman for this very reason. She
claimed to be strong willed and independent (and at first she was) but
she very quickly began opening up to me; sharing personal stories I
wasn’t ready to hear, telling me she loved me WAY too soon, etc.
I got the impression that there actually wasn’t anything special about
me at all. She chose me not for me but because she was desperate to
be loved by another person. It didn’t matter who that “other” person
was: so long as he loved her back. I simplycouldn’t be that person so
soon and it really turned me off.

Reason #4: Being Too Rigid & Cold
No man wants to be with a woman who is “tougher” than he is. It’s an

ego thing and there is no avoiding it. It’s just how men are hard
coded. If a woman seeks to dominate her man, he will become ex-
tremely defensive. To many, many men (myself included) an overly
tough, rigid woman is tremendously unattractive.
When you emasculate a man, not only will he resent you for it, but
you will also lose any and all attraction for him. Women, much like
men, do not want to be with somebody they have complete and total
control over.
I’m NOT suggesting you become a doormat. No woman wants to be-

come that and very few men want to be around one (long term).
You simply need to realize that when you try and dominate your man
in any way, this actually pushes him away. It turns him off on a deep
emotional level.It directly challenges his masculinity. Men are hard
wired to be competitive – to be the best – to be the “alpha male”.
The most attractive woman is a woman who is independent, yet has a

soft vulnerable side that needs “protecting”. Your man wants to pro-
tect you. On a deep psychological level, he is hard wired to instinc-
tively defend the woman he chooses as a long term mate. It’s been
like this throughout all of human creation/evolution (depending on
your particular views).
Remember, there is a distinct balance to be had when it comes to be-

ing too vulnerable (needy) and too tough and rigid. Find and strike
this balance and your man will melt in your arms.
The Variables That Changed
Think back (long and hard) to the beginning of your relationship.

Specifically what things changed within the relationship? Your beha-
vior, your attitude, your physical appearance, etc. There were specific
reasons your ex boyfriend was once drawn to you and specific reasons

he chose to leave you and end the relationship. In the vast majority of
cases, the above four reasons are the main variables that changed
within the relationship.
Most women will sit around thinking about what she might have said,
or what she might have done in order to push him away. They dwell
on all the little things that really don’t add up to much.
Perhaps your relationship ended during a heated argument (for exam-

ple). You said hurtful things and so did he. You continuously think
back and say to yourself “maybe if I had just said this or done that and
never said _______.” It wasn’t the heated argument that actually
ended the relationship. It wasn’t the underlying reason leading up to
the breakup.
It was merely an excuse to end things for a set of completely different

reasons. Focus on the actual underlying cause. The things that funda-
mentally changed the relationship.

D
oes that title scare you? If so, you above all others must pay
particularly close attention to the next few paragraphs.
There is no point in me sugar coating my words and tip toeing around

my point so I’m just going to blurt it out: DO NOT INITIATE
CONTACT WITH YOUR EX BOYFRIEND FOR A MINIMUM
OF THREE WEEKS. There are no exceptions to this rule. You must
not be the one to initiate contact with him, but it is perfectly fine if he
contacts you first. There is a scientific, physiological basis for this and
I will explain it shortly. It will all make sense and you’ll have one of
those “aha!” moments.
Why the need to not initiate contact with your ex boyfriend?
The “no contact rule” is a mechanism we use to accomplish three

things:
1. It prevents you from acting needy and insecure around your ex

boyfriend. As you already discovered, neediness and insecurity
are attraction killers when it comes to any relationship.
2. It instills a fear of loss within him. Not contacting him pushes

him away and makes him wonder why. He will essentially be-
come intrigued and start wondering if you have moved on with
another man. Humans only realize something’s value when
it is gone, in most all cases.
3. It gives you the opportunity to soak in as much information

from my material as possible.
You see, no matter what you do or how hard you try, when you’re
around your ex boyfriend you will sub-communicate insecurity and
neediness. At least at first you will. It doesn’t even matter how hard
you try not to; it will come through in some way or another.
Even if you don’t verbally say you miss your boyfriend and want him
back or that you’re hurting inside, he will pick up on your feelings

through your body language. That’s not a bunch of BS either. Body
language is powerful stuff.
Much of this eBook will be about both actually ridding yourself of

insecurity and neediness as well as some tricks and gimmicks to make
yourself appear a lot less insecure and needy than you really are.
Even if you feel horrible inside, I will at least give you the appearance
that you are doing perfectly fine without him.
Thus reversing the feeling of rejection as much as humanly possible.
Don’t Be His Emotional Support
After a breakup, some men will use their ex girlfriend either as a

means to get over the breakup and healhimself or merely a means to
have sex. This is obviously not what you want.
By not contacting him and making yourself scarce, you are forcing-
him to heal on his own. You’re also depriving him of any sex, which
you should never give unless he’s willing to commit to an actual rela-
tionship anyway.
The bottom line is that you won’t be around to support him and be all
sensitive, accommodating and giving. You are forcing him to be lone-
ly and face reality without you. There will be no easing out of being
in a relationship with you. Period.
Your instincts may tell you that by being around him and supporting
him (emotionally) will only draw you back together. Nothing could be
any further from the truth. This will only help his healing process
while hurting yours. Essentially he will unintentionally be leeching
off you. I guess you could even consider him an emotional vampire:
sucking the happiness from you and substituting it with jealousy, hurt
and shame.
If He Contacts You

It’s very likely that your ex boyfriend will actually initiate contact
with you over the course of these 20 - 30 days, provided you follow
my plan exactly as outlined. This is especially true if he starts really
feeling a fear of loss and begins to place value on you once again. It
will be his natural instinct to reach out and contact you.
This is a very good sign and while not at all necessary, definitely will
make things a lot easier for you at later stages of this plan.
Rule number one here is not to be rude, angry or act depressed around
him. If he comes in to visit you at work or calls you on the phone, act
happy and cheerful. Acting in this manner will demonstrate higher
value on your part. Basically, he will wonder why you’re not acting
miserable and rotten. This will intrigue him and again make him feel
an even stronger fear of loss (as you appear to have moved on before
he has).
When your ex contacts you:
• Make small talk with him about whatever.
• Let him lead the conversation (for the most part).
• Act cheerful and happy but don’t come across as desperate to

talk with him.
• End the conversation first (if it’s a phone call)after about 10

minutes. Be polite and say “I’m heading out with a friend but
I’ll give you a call later”. Make sure you don’t come across as
bitter when you say this.
• Take your time to call him back. Don’t be too eager and make
sure you wait about a day or a day and a half.
• If you run into him in person, make small talk for 10 minutes
and then say something along the lines of, “Well it was nice
talking with you, but I have to finish doing _________.”
Again, be cheerful about it. Being cheerful demonstrates secu-

rity and gives the impression that you’ve accepted the breakup.
The “no contact rule” doesn’t mean your ex boyfriend can’t contact
you. It’s a very good thing when he is the one initiating contactfirst,
but only if he is the one doing the initiating. The important thing to
remember is that under no circumstances will you be the one initiating
contact with him first.
What not to do in a nutshell:
• Act angry.
• Act depressed and sad.
• Act rude and treat him like crap.
• Brag about how many guysare hitting on you. This will ob-
viously come across as a lie and lower your value in his eyes.
• Bring up anything about the relationship at all.
• Ask if he’s dating or sleeping with anyone.
• Ask/beg him to give the relationship “another shot”.
It’s very likely that over the next few weeks, your ex will contact you.
In fact, many of my students have only applied the No Contact prin-
cipal and have experienced dramatic success with it. This is largely
due to the fact No Contact forces your ex boyfriend to realize your
value. You can’t value something that’s always been there to its ful-
lest extent.
Again, I’d like to reiterate that it is important that you act rather
cheerful, cool, calm and collected when he contacts you. No acting
depressed! Period.
Let the conversation unfold and basically talk about positive things
that have nothing to do with your relationship. Let him lead the con-

versation and do most of the talking. If he brings up anything about
the relationship then it’s safe to enter into that line of discussion. As
long as you’renot the one bringing it up, you’re A-OK.
I can’t even tell you how many times I’ve heard from women who fol-
lowed the No Contact rule and had their ex boyfriends call them
weeks later, asking if they would give the relationship another shot.
All they did was sit around on their butts and not initiate contact with
their ex’s.
Three Weeks = Peak of Loneliness
The “loneliness peak” occurs after about three to four weeks after a
breakup. He will feel his most vulnerable and lonely at this time. It
will take great effort on his part not to contact you. In most cases,
provided you stick to the rest of this plan, he will be the one contact-
ing you. If he doesn’t then that is still fine, but you will be in a much
better position if he is the one initiating contact with you.
After three to four weeks have passed, it will be much more effective
for you to contact him at this point. He will be lonely and most likely
thinking good thoughts about you. He will be reminiscing about the
good times you had together while you’ll be concentrating on only the
bad. The balance of power will have turned and he will be the inse-
cure one while you’re not.
If He Does Not Contact You…
Since the loneliness peak occurs at three to four weeks, it is safe for
you to contact him at this point. In the majority of cases he will con-
tact you first. If not, I recommend waiting a minimum of three to
four weeks. This really depends on how low he perceived your value
to be before the breakup. In extreme cases you should wait even long-
er.
If you have to contact him, you will chat with him as though he is an
old friend. Again, I reiterate that there is to be no hint of desperation,
depression or neediness on your part. You must come across as

though you are perfectly fine with the breakup. Act like you realized
the breakup was actually the best thing for the both of you.
I recommend that you tell him, when you initiate contact, that you
believe the breakup was definitely for the best and that it would be a
shame to throw away such a great friendship.
“I just wanted to tell you that you were right… The breakup was defi-
nitely for the best. It would really be a shame to throw away our
friendship though. How about we go out for a coffee bud? We can
work on being friends again, no hard feelings.”
It’s very important that you maintain a platonic vibe of being friends.
Again, this is to instill a fear of loss within him. Remember that we
value most that which we do not have. I will talk more about the im-
portance of the platonic friend vibe in Chapter 8.
Regardless of whether he contacts you or not, you will use your

friendship as a means to sneak in under the radar and present to him
the new, confident, less needy you. You will use your position as a
friend to re-build attraction and value.
Some Possible Objections
So what if you’re in a situation where you cannot possibly “not con-

tact” your ex boyfriend? Maybe you work with him, you have a kid
with him, you live together, etc. What the heck do you do then?
Basically it’s all in how you behave in these circumstances. You don’t
want to come across as insecure or childish by acting angry, jealous or
all out ignoring him. However, you do want to keep contact with your
ex to a minimum.
If you live together, make sure you go out with friends a lot. Don’t
bring other men back to the house just to make him jealous since this
will probably hurt your chances of getting him back. He’ll end up
bringing a girl back and it’ll end up turning into a vicious cycle of
games. Stay away from that.

Basically, you want your ex to initiate the conversation most of the
time. You don’t want to look like you’re ignoringhim because that’s
also insecure. You want to act happy and cheerful, like you’re com-
pletely fine with the breakup and you have moved on. Let him lead
the conversation and put in most of the work when conversing with
you. Again, don’t ignore him; just let him do most of the work.
Think of it as living with a female roommate. In fact, use this forced

contact to your advantage by dressing the best you can without look-
ing like you’re actually trying.

P
ush/Pull theory revolves around the notion that we want what
we cannot have. We pursue that which retreats from us. It’s
true for both men and women alike. In fact, the main reason
you want your ex back so badly is probably due to the fact he rejected
you. You currently cannot have him and that drives you insane. It
would drive me insane too. That’s just human nature.
People interact in two basic ways (when you really break it down).
We are either pushing somebody away from us, or we are pulling
them toward us. To “pull” is to show interest and to “push” is to show
disinterest.
When somebody (like a man) pushes us away, we naturally respond

by pulling that person back in. It creates a fear of loss and we natural-
ly want to vanquish that fear and fill the gap. This is especially true
with male/female romantic relationships.
A push can be anything from your boyfriend saying “I need more

space” or “you’re being annoying” or outright breaking up with you.
It is anything he does to display disinterest or indifference.
“He who cares least controls the relationship”
Right now, you instinctively want to pull your ex boyfriend toward

you when in fact you should be pushing him away from you. Pulling
him toward you puts pressure on him and forces him to push you fur-
ther away. If he knows he can have you whenever he wants, he won’t
want you at all. It will kill all the sexual tension between the two of
you.
I’ve already presented you with one very powerful technique that har-
nesses Push/Pull Theory. By not initiating contact with your ex, he
will begin to wonder if you have moved on. He will probably start to
think about all the good times you had together and crave to have
those times back. Remember that after 3 – 4 weeks, his loneliness will
peak.

It’s also important to realize that just as you can “pull” too much, you
can also push too much as well. Sexual tension is created when there
is a mix of the two. You will often hear men refer to this as “mixed
signals”. They’ll say things like “she was sending mixed signals and it
just made me want her more”.
The key to push/pull is to find the right balance. Push him away from
you a little and then pull him back in, push him away a little once
again, then pull him back in.
You’re just trying to get your ex boyfriend back and so you really
don’t have to put too much thought into it. Just make sure you under-
stand that too much of either pushing or pulling is bad. You want to
show some interest, and then show a little disinterest. Rinse and re-
peat.

O
ur internalmindset is of paramount importance when apply-
ing this system. You need to rid yourself of any and all inse-
curity for this to work. If you’re serious about getting your
ex boyfriend back, following my plan will be easy. This next part will
be very counter intuitive but I can assure you that it is based on deep
rooted psychology.
Accept that things are over and begin the process of moving on.
Yup. That’s right. You need to let go of your ex boyfriend before you
can get him back. Very counter intuitive indeed. You need to remem-
ber that a clingy, insecure woman repels men. Letting go (and I do ac-
tually mean really letting go) will dramatically increase the odds of
getting him back merely because it rids you of any and all approval
seeking behavior. The following are not useless steps to be ignored. It
is in your best interest to follow them.
Step One: Go grab a piece of paper right now (its best you do it while
you’re reading this). Write out your ex boyfriends contact information
on it and set it aside. Place it in a spot where you will not easily see it.
Step Two: Delete every memory and mode of contact you have with
him. Delete his number from your cell phone, Skype, etc. Delete all of
his e-mails (that means to stop reading them too).
The only exception to this rule is for Facebook or Myspace. If you

don’t have an account (or he doesn’t) then don’t worry. If you do,
leave him on your list but do not, under any circumstances, view his
profile. I cannot stress this enough. There is to be absolutely no
viewing of his profile!
The other exception would be your Instant Messenger. You can use
that as a means to create more fear of loss (but we’ll delve into that
later).
To recap:
• Delete all modes of contact: phone number, email, etc.

• Delete digital photos.
• Delete anything else that reminds you of him.
• Do not ever view his online profile.
Step Three: Gather up all physical reminders of your ex boyfriend.

This means any teddy bears, cards, posters, cloths, watches, pictures,
etc. Anything physical at all! Gather it all up and toss it in a box.
Make sure you put the box in a place you cannot find. Put it in your
basement or leave it with a friend or something. Under your bed will
not suffice.
Step Four: Visualize yourself with other men. Fantasize about other
men. Under no circumstances should you let your mind drift and be-
gin to think about your ex in a sexual way. When you find yourself
thinking about your ex, force yourself to fantasize about your ideal
man. It’s also helpful to fantasize about what you would do with a
million dollars or something equally pleasurable.
Realize that you’re fantasizing about your ex to help comfort and ease
the pain for yourself. It will only have the opposite effect which is
why you must force yourself to let go. In a week or two, the pain will
have dramatically decreased.
Step Five: Concentrate only on the negative aspects of your ex boy-

friend. When going through a breakup, we have what’s called selec-
tive memory. We only seem to remember the good times we had with
them and how happy they made us. Your ex boyfriend becomes a sort
of drug that we withdraw from. It’s hard, but you must only focus on
the negative.
All of this is leading up to a complete reversal of rejection.

H
ere is where it gets interesting. By getting your life back,
you are showing your ex boyfriend you do not needhim.
Remember: high value men do not want a woman who
needs him more than he needs her.
Men value that which they work for.
By actively demonstrating that you are healing and moving on, you
will begin to switch on many “attraction switches” in his brain. These
are the same switches that attracted him in the first place. It’s your job
to demonstrate you still have those characteristics.
Start Dating Other Men (And Make Sure He Finds Out)
This is my favorite technique for reversing rejection. Actually moving

on! You don’t need to actually be serious about these dates, but they
will be a huge confidence boost for your ego and will really help shed
any underlying insecurity and/or neediness you may still have left.
I realize you may not be in the dating frame of mind but you must
force yourself to do it. You must force yourself to find other men to
date. Like much of what we have discussed thus far, this is also very
counter intuitive, so allow me to explain:
• Dating other men builds your confidence while simultaneously

shedding any underlying insecurity you may still have.
• When your ex boyfriend finds out, he will feel afear of loss.

His sub-conscious will be thinking, “wow, she must be more
high value than I thought if she can replace me that easily”.
So with that said, start taking up those offers other men are giving
you. You’ll seriously love yourself for it later. This sounds like “feel
good” advice but there are seriously millions of quality, datable men
out there. At the moment, you’re very emotional and you’re not think-
ing logically. You’re an attractive woman and it won’t be overly diffi-
cult for you to move on if you so desire.

Now, if all else fails and you cannot actually get on some dates within
the next week or two, then it’s appropriate to fake it. You can even
start off by faking it until you actually get on a few real dates too. The
important thing is that you try to go on some real, actual dates and
make sure your ex boyfriend finds out about it. It’ll do wonders for
your hurt self-esteem.
Techniques to make sure he finds out:
Instant Messaging Hang Out
Chances are you use an online instant messaging system like

Windows Live Messenger or AIM. Usually people mention
what they are doing in their display name. For example: “Me-
lissa–Out with the girls tonight… Call my cell.” Where I live,
this is very common.
If you land a date (don’t be picky either) make sure your dis-
play name mentions the fact you are out with another man. For
example: “Mel – Out with Jeff. Back tonight.” You see what
we’re doing? We’re creating what’s called a jealousy plotline
to increase your perceived value while making your ex feel a
fear of loss. Essentially reversing the rejection.
If you can’t actually get on a date, fake it if you must. Make up

a random guys name and say you’re “Out with Jeff” or Matt or
whoever. Whatever you do, do not make it look like you’re in-
tentionally trying to make your ex boyfriend jealous. This
would be a mistake of paramount disaster. You need to allude
to the fact you are moving on with your life and seeing other
men. He can’t think it’s all a game you’re playing to make him
want you back.
Allude To His Friend(s)
Chances are you talk to somebody your ex boyfriend hangs out

with on a regular basis. Get yourself in a casual conversation

with them and ask what they’re up to this weekend. When they
finish telling you, you know they will reciprocate and ask you
the exact same question.
When they ask what you’re doing, say:
“I’m just hanging out with some Jeff guy I met the other
night.”
Then quickly change the topic! Do not directly say “yeah so

I’m going on a date tonight” as that would just make you look
like a loser who wants her ex to become jealous. Make it look
like you almost don’t want their friend knowing you’re going
on a date but it just slipped out.
Social Site Flirting
These days, everyone has a MySpace or Facebook account (or

some other variation thereof). Maybe you don’t and if so ig-
nore this info. If you do, read on.
Take this opportunity to flirt with other men in your network.

Just message them, talk with them, etc. The great thing about
MySpace and Facebook is that they have public sections where
people can post messages back and forth to each other. Every-
one in your friends list can read these messages and you can
bet your ex boyfriend will be viewing your profile to keep tabs
on what you have been up to. Especially since you’re not in-
itiating contact with him.
Again, this will create a jealousy plotline. He’ll see that you are
attractive to other men and feel a fear of loss. His manly in-
stinct will kick in and he’ll want to possess you again. Even
though he broke up with you, he’s used to feeling as though
he“owns” you. He’s used to having you all to himself. When
he sees other men flirting with you on your profile, he’ll get
jealous and realize what a horrible mistake he’s made. Again,
this is reversing the feeling of rejection.

Social Site Fake Out
You can take things a step further and register another account,
under a fake male name. Put up a fake picture of a very hand-
someman. Make sure the picture doesn’t look blatantly fake ei-
ther. If it’s a celebrity or a man way out of your league, forget
about it appearing genuine. For best effect, make it a man just
slightly better looking than your ex boyfriend.
Anyway, set the fake profile to private. I’ll say that again be-
cause it’s so damn important. Set the fake profile to private so
nobody can actually view it. You will look like a huge loser
when your ex views the fake profile only to find out its com-
pletely empty and clearly a phony profile designed to make
him jealous.
Next, make a few posts from the fake account to your own ac-
count saying things like “great movie – we’ll have to do it
again” or “you’re too funny sweetie! We’ll have to chill again
on Sunday.”
Basically you want it to look like you may possibly be dating

another guy. Definitely do not post anything blatantly sexual
like “I can’t wait to touch and feel you again” or something
equally lame.
Keep it very subtle and make sure you disguise the way you
type. You probably abbreviate certain words, use specific
slang, spell certain words wrong and other identifiable patterns
that may give away the fact the phony mystery man is actually
you. Pay attention to the way you type and make sure it’s dif-
ferent when using this technique.
Remember that none of those techniques are actually necessary. I rec-

ommend them because:

• Your ex will fear he is losing you for good. It knocks him back
into reality. You’re a girl in demand! Other men want you.
• He will be overwhelmed with jealousy if you played your cards

correctly.
• It demonstrates higher value on your part.
• It builds your own self confidence back up and increases your

self-esteem and feeling of self-worth.
The major benefit will come from actually going on real dates be-
cause it will rocket your self-confidence. You will believe in your
own attractiveness again. That’s not something you can achieve
through faking it. Although if you absolutely have to, the option is
there. Just make sure you do it in a subtle way that doesn’t come
across as bragging. Only losers brag.
Secondly, I want you to use your imagination and come up with other
creative ways in which you can subtly allude to being on dates with
other men. I gave you a lot of great examples to get you started. Just
make sure you do not go over the top and make yourself look like a
loser by bragging and generally making it obvious you are trying to
make him jealous.
Start Having Massive Fun
Next on our list of getting back your ex boyfriend is to demonstrate

that you are now having massive fun. You want to make him regret he
ever left you. He’ll even start to think he was the one holding you
back from experiencing your life. And who knows, maybe he actually
was.
Go out and start having some fun with your friends. Have some drinks
with the girls next weekend, hit up a bar or club, get that adrenaline
pumping. Hell, you should even go on that trip you always wanted to
take. Just go and have as much fun as you possibly can.

For a woman, bars and clubs are particularly a great place to boost
your confidence. You’ll get approached by multiple men within the
hour. But you know that already. Wink. Wink.
This will:
• Rid you of your needy, insecure mindset.
• Demonstrate to your ex boyfriend that you will not sit around

wallowing in your own sorrow.
• Keep your mind off your ex (which ties in with ridding your-
self of insecurity)
The number one thing I recommend you do is to start working out.

Sign up at the gym and work your ass off for the next month. Not be-
cause you think you have to, but because you will enjoy it.
• Exercise releases endorphins which basically make you feel

damn good. This is a scientifically proven fact. Working out
will release a lot of endorphins. It’s natures natural anti-
depressant.
• Working out boosts your testosterone level. Testosterone ac-

tually increases your confidence level by quite a bit.
• It will keep your mind occupied and off your ex boyfriend.
• You’ll be way more physically attractive and fit (obviously).
There are many other things you can do besides working out. You can
always submerse yourself into a hobby or something you’ve always
wanted to take up. Personally, I love to learn about something new
when I’m feeling troubled.
I strongly recommend you take this as an opportunity to kick back and

learn all you can about male/female psychology and basically what

men are attracted to in a woman. If you’re anything like me, you’ll
find it extremely fascinating (not to mention useful).
Just remember that if you sit around feeling sorry for yourself all day,
that will just be proof in your ex boyfriends eyes that you actually
were a loser and that he was completely justified in dumping you.
Heexpects you to sit around and wallow in your own miserable
pity.That is how we are all expected to act after a breakup. You will
be different. You will be cheerful and happy.
You must take on the mindset that: although you cared about your
ex boyfriend, this breakup is not the end of the world and possibly
even a good thing.
Men don’t get back together with womenwho sit around feeling sorry
for themselves.They want to get back together with the women who
move on faster than they do. They start to doubt themselves and
wonder why you’re getting over them so fast. And then, as you’re
seemingly pushing them away, enjoying your life, they instinctively
react by pulling you back in.
You push, they pull.
Before you know it, you will have turned the tables and your ex boy-
friend will be your ex no longer. He will have come crawling back to
you, begging for a second chance.
Take Lots of Pictures
While you’re having massive amounts of fun and adventure, make

sure to take lots of pictures. Digital pictures if you can.
When you have these pictures of yourself and friends, make sure to
post them as display pictures on your instant messenger (Windows
Live Messenger, AIM, YIM, etc). You can also post them on Face-
book or MySpace; basically any social networking site you and your
ex both frequent.

Seeing pictures of you and your friend having a great time will dis-
play higher value on your part while making him remember all the
good times you both had together. Trust me when I say this tactic
works very well.Especially if you have other handsomemen hang-
ing off you in these photos.
Male “Orbiters”
Every reasonably attractive woman has what I call “orbiters”. Guys

who you know would jump at the opportunity to go out with you. You
know it and they know it. They probably think you’re out of their
“league”. Flirt a little bit with these guys and boost your self-
confidence a bit.
Secondly, you may have had a male friend (who just thinks of you as
a plutonic friend and vice versa). Most all the women I know have a
few male friends they knew their boyfriend was jealous of. Use him
(ethically – don’t lead him on!) to provoke jealously within your ex
boyfriend. Your ex probably perceives him as being higher value than
himself. Use this to your advantage. He will feel threatened and his
male instincts will kick in. He’ll naturally want to compete for your
attention.
Hang out with him – take some pictures and post them on Facebook
or MySpace.

S
o what if your ex boyfriend is already going on dates with other
women or even seeing one girl in particular? Well first of all I
wouldn’t worry too much. These rebounds almost never work
out. He’s using this other girl (or girls) as a means to comfort himself
and ease the pain of the breakup he just had with you.
With that in mind, you need to be completely cool about it. Speaking
from personal experience here, when one of my ex’s called me up (af-
ter not contacting her for a week) she immediately tried to make me
jealous by alluding to a guy she was going on a date with. She knew
what she was doing and so did I. But the funny thing is, even despite
the fact I knew it was just a ploy to make me jealous, it still made me
desire her more.
Anyway, when she started going on about how she was going on a
date, I was completely cool about it. I didn’t even have to act because
deep down I knew the only reason she was telling me was to make me
jealous. I told her I thought it was awesome and changed the subject. I
didn’t act bitter, angry or hurt. I just played it off like it was nothing.
If You Run Into Them Together
So what if you just happen to actually meet the new woman he is dat-
ing? If you’ve read every word up until this point, I’m sure you al-
ready have a good idea what to do already. Act cool about it.
• Don’t show jealousy.
• Don’t show anger.
• Don’t ignore him.
• Don’t put him down or act rude.
You need to pretty much do the opposite of the above. You need to
act cheerful and happy to see them both. Shake her hand, tell her it
was nice to meet her and they look great together.Do all this with a
big smile on your face. Continue to make cheerful small talk and then

excuse yourself. You need to act totally secure, calm and cool about
the fact he’s with another woman.
Sure you’ll be dying on the inside but you have to do everything you
can to repress those insecure feelings. You can’t let them manifest
themselves on the outside. The cooler you act, the more frustrated
your ex will become.
The woman he’s with will end up feeling threatened by your calm
confidence.

T
he vast majority of those of you currently reading this will
have already gone through a breakup. However, a few of you
will have purchased this program in anticipation of your
looming breakup. Either way, everyone reading this will benefit in
some way or another.
The power of this technique can and will come in handy some day in
the future. Having the peace of mind in knowing exactly how to han-
dle a looming breakup is (without question) a huge weight off your
shoulders.
Now, first let me start by saying that this technique is not 100% effec-
tive. Nothing is - and if anyone claims to have all the answers they are
either lying or trying to sell you something. Period.
Let’s begin.
The Technique…
Preventing a breakup as it happens is actually pretty easy. You can

“sense” when a man is losing interest in you. They stop looking at you
with the same loving eyes. They pick fights with you for seemingly no
reason at all. They stop giving you much neededaffection. You know
the way it goes. We’ve all been there.
It all culminates until he gives you “the talk”. He’ll usually start it off
by saying “we need to talk” or something along those lines. Or per-
haps he’ll spontaneously break up with you after picking a staged
fight; using the fight as justification for the breakup itself.
The trick is very counter intuitive.
The big secret is that you need to agree with his decision. Or, if you
know he’s just about to give you the axe, you can tell him to break up
with you. I know, I know… its scary stuff. Even for me it would be
scary. We fear the unknown.

If he believes you’re fine with the breakup, you’ve managed to main-
tain a position of integrity. Or at least you will not have compromised
it anywhere near that of any other woman. Most women react with
tears, pleading and even begging in some cases. That type of behavior
certainly doesn’t aid in flicking any attraction switches – that’s for
sure.
I’ll give you some examples as to what to say (just as he’s about to
break up with you):
“Jason, you’re a great guy. You make me smile. You really do. But
maybe I’m not the right girl for you? Maybe we need to break up if
that’s what your heart is telling you.”
Or, if he’s clearly telling you he wants to break up with you:
“You know, you’re probably right. You have to do what your heart
tells you. If I’m not the girl for you then I’m not the girl for you. I ob-
viously like you and all, but that’s life. Even if it sucks, that’s just the
way it is. I’m sure we’ll both move on and be happy with other people
eventually.”
Don’t come across as bitter or hateful when you say the above. Don’t
act aloof and like you don’t care either! Simply say it in a light
hearted manner. Assume the mentality that he’s a great guy, but you
can live your life without him. Either way life will go on.
It’s important that you do not break up with him first. Even though it
might seem like the right thing to do based on what you’ve learned in
the previous chapters. If you break up with him first, the burden will
be on you to pursuehim and initiate contact. No Contact is an impor-
tant rule within this system and it won’t be nearly as effective if you
are the one doing the dumping. The dynamic totally changes.
That is why telling him (nicely) to break up with you is very effective.
Stick closely to the script above and you’ll be fine. However, try to
understand the underlying meaning and reason behind the words.

You’re basically telling him that he’s a great guy (you like him) and
that if his heart isn’t in it then it’s fine to end things. No hard feelings.
This dynamic totally throws him off. It’s nowhere near how he ex-
pects you to react/behave.
If He Agrees And Goes Forward With The Breakup Anyway…
I also must warn you that he may agree with you at first and actually
go forward with the breakup. He will probably be hesitant about it but
perhaps he may still go forward and agree the breakup is for the best.
Don’t panic, this is fine.
You’ve managed to at least save your dignity and self-respect in his

eyes. Even if he goes forward with the breakup (still) you can be cer-
tain he will be shaken and confused by your reaction. Combine this
technique with No Contact and you’re almost certain to get him back.
Throw in a little jealously plotline and I honestly can’t not see this
working for just about anyone.
Other Preventative Measures…
If you know that a breakup is only a few days away, you want to get
both of your adrenaline pumping. That means you need to plan an
adventure and both have massive fun together. Adrenaline with help
the both of you to rapidly re-bond.
This is not a permanent solution. If the root of the problem is not

solved, this will only delay things.
Some “adventure” ideas are as follows:
• Go on a vacation to an exotic resort. The new surrounding will

be exciting and fresh. It’ll give you ample opportunity to re-
ignite lost attraction by getting both of your adrenaline pump-
ing.

• Amusement park. If this doesn’t get your adrenaline pumping
then nothing will.
• Rock climbing.
• Laser tag / arcade
Break The Routine…
Break out of the boring routine you and your boyfriend have built up
over the months/years. Couples get comfortable and this comfort kills
attraction. It’s boring and stale. Unfortunately, we don’t really realize
this until it’s too late. I’m giving you a head start here.

Introduction to Reward/Punishment System
W
hat do you think most women do when their boyfriend
starts neglecting them and spending more time “with the
guys” or watching sports than with them?
They respond with giving their man more attention and affection.
Women do this in the hope that it will elicit some sort of response out
of their boyfriend and sort of snap him out of his “trance”.
How long do you think it will take your boyfriend to realize that giv-
ing his friends more attention than you will result in getting whatever
it is he wants?
Bad behavior = girlfriend giving me attention and affection and possi-

ble more sex.
Most women are doing the complete opposite of what they should in
fact be doing. When he ignores you and puts more of his attention to-
ward something else, or when he gets angry or jealous for no reason,
women will try to pull him in with affection because theythemselves
want affection.
At our core, we are being approval seeking. We want his love and af-
fection.
Reward Good Behavior
Let’s first focus on rewards, because I believe them to be the more

important of the two. If you reward your boyfriendat the right time,
he will become addicted to your rewards and thus you’ll have very
little need to “punish”him in the first place.
Rewards are for the most part you giving him your validation and ap-
proval. You’re not generically giving him gifts and complimenting

him on this and that for no reason. Rather, you want to reward hisef-
forts. This is the absolute best way to get your boyfriend contributing
loads to the relationship. You need to reward the effort he puts in.
Think about it; if you didn’t reward his good behavior, how would he
know to continue doing all those good things that please you? Exact-
ly, he simply wouldn’t.
So how do you properly reward good behavior? You simply tell him
what you like. Plain and simple.
Let’s say you love it when your boyfriend cooks for you, and you
want him doing it more often because he makes the best lasagna ever.
Simply tell him as you’re eating: “Babe, you seriously have some
killer lasagna making skills. Explain to me why you’re not a chef
again?”
Or you can take a different approach and tell him that it turns you on.
Men are indeed more fixated on sex than women, so if he subcons-
ciously believes that doing XYZ thing for you will lead to sex, he’s
going to do loads more of it. I can promise you that. You just need to
let him know what it is you like!
People love genuine praise and appreciation because they get so very
little of it. The world is full of insecure, selfish individuals who only
take their approval away.
You’re boyfriend is no exception and you can bet he will eventually

become addicted to your validation. He wants it and you will freely
give it to him, provided he’s doing good things for you, of course.
Example Good Behaviour:
• Buying you something.
• Giving you really good, long lasting sex.

• Cheering you up when you’re feeling down (emotional sup-
port).
• Driving you somewhere.
• Generally being an awesome boyfriend.
You get the idea.
Giving Gifts as Rewards: When & How
When you give a physical gift to a man, you generally want them to
be rewards for good behaviour on your boyfriend’s part. This way,
your intentions can never be interpreted as approval seeking.
If your boyfriend puts in effort and takes you out on the town and
generally gives you a fun, adventure filled night, reward that extra ef-
fort with a gift (make sure you keep the gifts scarce and rare though)
The day after the amazing adventure filled night, you can bring over a
card that demonstrates you care and specifically mentions the card is a
direct result of the great time he gave you.
That may sound a bit strange, but I can assure you that for the next
few weeks, your boyfriend will try extra hard to please you. Point be-
ing: Let him know what you are rewarding, so he can do it over
and over again.
A far better approach to gift giving is to invest your time and creativ-
ity into your gifts. It has the exact same effect as buying expensive
material possessions, without looking like you’re trying to buy his
love or impress him.
Now, this isn’t to say that all gifts have to be creative. In the example
above, you simply bought a cheap card and it worked wonders. Mix it
up a little and use your own judgment. Just remember to always give
your gift (creative or otherwise) as a reward for positive behaviour.

Introduction
P
unish is a rather harsh word. There really is nothing harsh
about what we are doing when you“punish”yourboyfriend’s
bad behaviour. It needs to be done, not only out of love for
yourself but also out of love for him.
There are a number of ways to go about punishing your boyfriend,

none of which involve getting angry, verbally abusive, manipulative
or the like. In fact, those things come from a place of insecurity,
which is not where we want to be coming from anyway. Even though
anger as a form of punishment is far more effective than simply suck-
ing up and doing nothing, there are even more effective ways to ap-
proach the matter.
The degree of punishment will largely depend on hisbehaviour and

the boundaries you set at the beginning of your relationship. You’ll be
punishing your boyfriend for two main reasons: Hismood and nega-
tive actions.
Removing Your Attention
When it comes to small things like bad moods, simply removing your
attention and not actively feedinghis bad mood is often enough. I
know some women who actually try to piss off their boyfriends when
they are upset. I’ve had girlfriends do this tomein the past.
When your man is in a bad mood, it is generally a good idea to simply

not be around him. Remove your attention from him as to not fall into
his negative reality. Since your attention is a reward, removing it is
a form of punishment.
Most of the time, his bad mood will have nothing to do with you. It’s
human nature to take out our bad moods on the people around us.
Since your boyfriend is human (right?), he is no exception.

Removing your attention isn’t just effective for mood swings either.
It’s effective for anything you don’t like about his behavior. Any-
thing at all that you shouldn’t be rewarding.
WARNING: Do not make it look as though you are removing your

attention specifically to get what you really want. You should not
pout or act offended in any way shape or form. You simply need to
carry on your day in a regular, happy manner.
Removing your attention is not about ignoring your boyfriend. You

should not ignore him. It is more about you simply not rewarding
negative behavior with mountains of attention.
Disappointment is Powerful
So, what if your boyfrienddoes something? Let’s say he starts playing

jealously games and flirting with other women while you’re around.
Simply removing your attention from him will not make the problem
go away in this case.
In this scenario, your best punishment would be to confront him with

your disappointment. Confront him in a cool, calm and collected
manner. No anger or negative emotion.
I would say something along the following lines:
“You know, one of the reasons I like you so much is that you don’t
play silly jealousy games like all the other guys. But lately, it seems as
though you have been and I have to admit that I expected more from
you.”
That’s sure to put a stop to his games. He’ll probably deny that it was
his intention to play games and apologize, but it doesn’t matter. Just
give him a kiss on the cheek and say “alright then.”

The Big Stick
Sometimes it will be necessary for you to take out the “big stick”. At
some point it will be required of you to put your foot down and make
a tough decision. I’ve come to realize that in many cases you can ei-
ther choose to lose your self respect, or lose your boyfriend. I don’t
think at this point I need to tell you that choosing to honor your self
respect over your boyfriend is the way to go.
You need to be mentally prepared to tell your boyfriend to “get the

hell out of my life” and be prepared for him to actually leave forever.
Don’t even think about faking it either, because men can smell it
when you’re not sincere. You see, the funny thing is that if you’re ac-
tually mentally prepared to let go of him, he is less likely to leave.
So, what type of behavior warrants the “big stick”? Well, that really
depends on your own personal values. It all depends on what you are
not willing to tolerate; what your totally 100% off limit boundaries
are.
For me, this would be the realm of cheating, lying about serious
things, blatantly disrespectful behavior, etc, etc. Serious things that go
beyond him simply disappointing you.
(And just for the record, I refer to the “big stick” metaphorically and
not literally. I don’t literally mean take out a stick and hit anyone.
That would be a cowards approach.)
Some Examples
Scenario: Your boyfriend starts flirting with one of your friends.
The Wrong Way
You proceed to flirt with one of his friends and a vicious cycle of flirt-
ing with other people to make each other jealous begins.

The Right Way
You simply remove your attention and affection from him and pro-
ceed to carry on with other activities. You are calm about the situation
and you later confront him and tell him you’re disappointed in his ac-
tions.
Think about it this way: when you were a teenager and you did some-
thing “wrong” like staying out way past your curfew and getting
drunk, what would upset you more:
a) Your parents getting mad at you, yelling and grounding you for
weeks.
b) Them confronting you with how disappointed they are in you

and how they expected more from you.
I think you know the answer.

Work is Good
T
ell me, why do you keep your sporting trophies on the man-
tel? Why didn’t you throw away that stupid stuffed animal
you won at the circus as a child?
Something can be utter and complete crap, but as long as you worked
hard enough for it, you will place significant value on it. Its basic psy-
chology: we value that which we have worked for. Although you’re
certainly not worthless (like some stupid stuffed animal) you can in-
crease your perceived value tenfold by letting your boyfriendinvest in
you.
Simply put, the more time, energy and effort he puts into pleasing
you, the more he will value you as a human being. You have truly be-
come a prize, to which he has worked to obtain. For the same reason
you can’t seem to let go of your _______, she won’t be able to let go
of you.
Small Favours
From a practical point of view, you can start by getting him to do

small favours for you. Now, there is no reason to be a bitch when
getting him to do these things. For God’s sake please don’t start pout-
ing for a glass of water every two seconds and make yourself look like
some sort of I-can’t-do-anything-myself typebitch. You simply can’t
be afraid to expect him to invest in you.
I know some girls who, when their boyfriends actually offer to do

things for them, they quickly perk up and say “no no baby! Its fine,
I’ll do it!” As if letting their boyfriend do something for them would
be letting him down in some obscure way.
Give me a break. He wants to invest in you, so let him! If your boy-

friend ever offers to buy, pay or do something (within reason) for you,
accept! Don’t forget to say “thank you” and reward him with your
approval.

The reward part is very important. Remember that he will eventually
become addicted to these rewards, thus making him crave more.
Some things you can get him to do for you:
• Write you a poem.

• Back massage.
• Hand massage.
• Any kind of massage.
• Surprise you with a gift.
• Wash your dishes.
• Wash your car.
Those are just some examples. Use your imagination and get him in-
vesting in you. He’ll love you all the more for it, literally. My only
word of caution is that you not go overboard. Like I said before, I
don’t want him waiting on you hand and foot. Occasionally get him to
invest in you. Start small and work your way up, until he’s willingly
cleaning your place all to better please you.
I highly recommend you start doing this from the very beginning of
your relationship (or your new relationship). Start small, and work
your way up. If you’ve already established a pattern of negative com-
pliance with your boyfriend, it can be difficult to put things back on
the right track, which is why you will be doing yourself a huge favour
to set up this behaviour at the very beginning.

B
efore you embarked on your quest to get your ex boyfriend
back, I want you to first take a step back, remove yourself
emotionally and ask yourself some hard questions.
I want you to get out a piece of paper, a pen and answer the following
questions:
• What are the important qualities you desire in a boyfriend?
• Why are those things important to you?
• List a number of reservations you have when it comes to enter-

ing into a long term relationship. In other words, what are your
fears?
• If somebody wrote a list of things about you that fit their needs
in a partner, what would they be?
• What do you most enjoy in life?
• What do you most appreciate about yourself?
I know those questions are “deep”, but they are absolutely necessary
if you are to select a quality long term girlfriend. Realize that the
above questions are not so much about your boyfriend, as they are
about YOU. You must know yourself before you can ever hope to
trust your own judgment enough to select a long term mate (or even to
get back with your ex boyfriend).
The Answers
You need to know what you want in a guy before you even consider
getting yourself into a long term relationship. Answer the questions
before you continue reading on, else you will only be doing yourself a
disservice.

Knowing exactly what you want in a man will only serve to make you
more attractive. Men want a woman who knows what she wants in
life, which includes knowing what qualities she looks for in man.
Compatibility
I’m generally not a huge fan of “traditional” relationship advice.

However, when it comes to the age old advice on being compatible, I
would definitely have to agree.
Opposites do not attract. I believe that advice originally stems from

the observation of sweet and innocent women fawning over bad boys
like James Dean. Women will always be attracted to masculine men,
regardless of their common interests. There is no denying this.
However, if you are to have any long term success (in terms of happi-
ness at least), you need to be with a man you enjoy for reasons other
than physical attraction. Like everything in life, that shiny, pretty face
will eventually fade away, leaving what behind? And even if you
don’t end up growing old together, you will eventually become desen-
sitized by each other. You’ll grow tired, and desire a fresh face.
Your relationship needs to be based on more than just physical lust.

There truly has to be a strong friendship behind the scenes; and as
much as I distrust traditional relationship advice, I wholeheartedly
stand by this old piece of wisdom.
Common Passion
Wondering why I made you list what you are passionate about in life?
It’s simple really. You and your boyfriend should share a common
passion. This truly is one of those oh-so-obvious yet oh-so-
overlooked things. So many girls just jump into a relationship with
either the first hot guy that shows a bit of interest inher or the first
man who presents himself as a challenge.
Don’t fall into that trap. Figure out what you have fun doing in life
and find a man who shares as many of those same passions as possi-

ble. Even if it’s just one, it will be more than enough, considering
most couples share a total of zero actualpassions. This really is impor-
tant because you don’t ever want to change who you are as a person
just to fit into your boyfriend’s reality.

CONGRATULATIONS!
Well, you’re finally done. You should pat yourself on the back. Not
many people decide to take control of their love lives. You did.
I recommend that you actually read this eBook over many more times.
Personally, I find that the second time I read a book, the more infor-
mation seems to magically pop out at me. Even when I’m reading a
book for the fifth time, new information will seemingly come out of
nowhere.
Congratulations on your read. I hope you enjoyed every page and had
many “ah-ha” moments.
Kudos,
Matt
Exclusive 1-ON-1 Personal Consultation
If you believe you need extra help getting your ex boyfriend back
CLICK HERE to learn how to get my “secret e-mail” address.
I’ll be more than happy to hear your unique story and personally ad-
dress any specific problems you may have.
It’s tough going through a breakup by yourself… but with me by your

side helping you every step of the way, I’m sure things will work out
in your favor.
Click here to unlock my secret e-mail address…

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Table of Contents

Matt Huston’s “Get Him Back Forever” © 2008 Page 2

Part of being an attractive woman is to act with integrity and self-

Please do not send this eBook or any of my other copyrighted material

Copyright © 2008 – Get Him Back Forever™

All rights reserved.

Any and all unauthorized use and/or distribution of this eBook is

Matt Huston’s “Get Him Back Forever” © 2008 Page 3

In my opinion, getting your ex boyfriend back will be the easy part.

As a professional relationship coach for almost six years now (as of

Matt Huston’s “Get Him Back Forever” © 2008 Page 4

Matt Huston’s “Get Him Back Forever” © 2008 Page 5

Traditionally, it is the woman’s job to be the selectorin courtship ri-

Sometimes women will begin to seek her mans approval by dressing

Originally, was it your ex boyfriend who displayed interest in you and

Your desire for a lasting long term relationship was so overpowering,

The typical courtship ritual goes something as follows:

Matt Huston’s “Get Him Back Forever” © 2008 Page 7

To regain control of your failed relationship, you must clearly estab-

“He who cares least, controls the relationship”

Casual Girl vs. Girlfriend Material

Matt Huston’s “Get Him Back Forever” © 2008 Page 8

If you -really- no matter what, wanted to get your boyfriend back,

If you cannot value yourself enough to recognize when enough is

Again: He who cares least, controls the relationship.

Perceived Value Is Everything in a Relationship

Matt Huston’s “Get Him Back Forever” © 2008 Page 9

So what does this have to do with relationships? Everything. The key

We’ll get into that later…

The Myth That Men Only Want One Thing

Matt Huston’s “Get Him Back Forever” © 2008 Page 10

Women typically reserve their emotional connection for their child-

There is no question in my mind that men want validation and a sense

Too many women are afraid of their own boyfriend’sdisinterest. At

To some women, the fear of losing their boyfriend is literally crip-

Understand that if a man assumes that no matter how poorly he be-

Hewill leave you when he feels as though he has complete control

Matt Huston’s “Get Him Back Forever” © 2008 Page 11

Matt Huston’s “Get Him Back Forever” © 2008 Page 12

Negative patterns of behaviour are basically anything you let your

Avoiding negative patterns of behaviour is absolutely critical when

Your “boundaries” must be set early on within the relationship. In

This is exactly what happened in your relationship. Negative patterns

Matt Huston’s “Get Him Back Forever” © 2008 Page 13

Matt Huston’s “Get Him Back Forever” © 2008 Page 14

1. He did not break up with you because of anything you specifi-

2. He (probably) did not break up with you because of your ap-

There are four main reasons, in my professional experience; that men

Reason #1: Too Much Effort

The most valuable piece of advice ever given to me went something

Matt Huston’s “Get Him Back Forever” © 2008 Page 16

The harsh reality of relationships is that two people become so com-

As a woman, the “trick” to keeping a man loyal and even happy in

The typical story I hear constantly goes something as follows:

That was an actual conversation I had with a male friend of mine a

Matt Huston’s “Get Him Back Forever” © 2008 Page 17

Reason #3: Neediness & Insecurity

Annnnnnd the universal attraction repellant is… Neediness, insecurity

If you’re an overly emotional type of woman and tend to pass that

Matt Huston’s “Get Him Back Forever” © 2008 Page 18

No man wants to be with a woman who is “tougher” than he is. It’s an

I’m NOT suggesting you become a doormat. No woman wants to be-

The most attractive woman is a woman who is independent, yet has a