Training Manual 2-Sided

2011
HelpLine
Manual
877-44-STAND
Written by:
Steven Jenkins
standfirmministry.com
Christian HelpLine Training Manual 2
HelpLine Manual
A Missions Outreach of StandFirm Ministry
2011 StandFirm Ministry

All rights reserved: No part of this book may be reproduced in any form without written permission from StandFirm ministry.
"Scripture quotations taken from the New American Standard Bible, Copyright 1960, 1962, 1963, 1968, 1971, 1972, 1973, 1975, 1977, 1995 by The Lockman Foundation Used by permission." (www.Lockman.org)
Introduction
HelpLine was born out of a burden placed on my heart to reach believers and unbelievers alike, all across the Mid-South, for Christ. For unbelievers, it serves to lead them to Christ for salvation. For believers, it aims to point them to Christ and a surrendered life. Across the Mid-South, thousands of calls each month are made to mental health facilities and providers for the purpose of receiving counseling, advice, referrals, and crisis intervention. Unless the caller has specifically sought this help through a Christian ministry, the help and counsel they receive will not be biblical, and will not be for the purpose of leading them to Christ. In fact, the goal of such counsel would be to promote self and its ability to cope with their problem better or successfully. The result of such help leaves the person lost if they are not a follower of Christ, and defeated if they are a Christian. As a result, I felt led to create HelpLine as a means of interrupting this reliance on current mental health processes, and providing a resource whereby people could call with any need or problem and hear the gospel, as well as be referred to a church, ministry or other appropriate resource. Being available when people are in need and searching for help is an ideal time to lead them to Christ. Many will admit that their own attempt to remedy their problems, and the help they have received from secular mental health treatment, has not satisfied their longing for relief. In fact, most will tell you that they have come to accept that this is the way they are and they just learn to live with it. Christians have been deceived to misunderstand what is available to them in Christ. They too resign to live defeated lives. Their position is in Christ and eternal, but their condition is one without joy and peace. I believe that a tremendous impact can be made in this community and region through HelpLine. More specifically, people will be led to Christ. I anticipate a battle ahead against the spiritual forces of wickedness, but I welcome it and rejoice in it. The battle that ensues then serves two purposes: 1) Gives credibility to the mission and effectiveness of the ministry; 2) Provides the opportunity for glory to be given to God as we yield to Him to fight for us. The success of this ministry will depend upon surrendering daily our efforts, prayers, gifts, and time to the Lord to be used by Him. This is His ministry, we are His instruments, and our adequacy to serve effectively comes from Him and not us (2 Corinthians 3:5). As volunteers, the work you do with HelpLine will prove to be a blessing to you. It will serve to continue to build you up in your faith. Your willingness to serve the Lord in such a capacity, from a heart of love for Him, will be rewarded.
Steven
Table of Contents
Statement of Faith Overview of StandFirm Ministry Mission/Vision of HelpLine Goals of HelpLine Description of Volunteer Role What is a Volunteer? Disciplines of a Volunteer Attitudes of a Volunteer Benefits of Being a Volunteer Commitment to HelpLine Instruments God Uses to Change Us Schedules Forwarded Calls Telephone Manner Structure of the Call (GLADLY) Referrals Documentation Call Log Follow-Up Log What Do I Say? Reports of Abuse or Neglect Frequent Callers Prank Callers Restoration Salvation Abortion Adultery Alcoholism Anger Anxiety, Worry, Fear Assurance Compulsive Behavior Death Depression Disappointments Divorce Domestic Abuse Faith Forgiveness
5 6 7 8 9 10 11 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 30 31 32 33 34 35 35 36 37 38 41 42 44 46 48 50 52 54 56 58 60 62 64 66
Grief and Loss Identity in Christ Jealousy Jesus Loneliness Marriage Parent-Child Conflicts Stress Suicide Guilt
68 70 74 76 77 79 81 82 84 85
STATEMENT OF FAITH
GodWe believe that there is one God who exists in three persons: the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit. JesusWe believe that Jesus is the Son of God, was born of a virgin, was wholly God and wholly man, lived a sinless life, died in our place as a sacrifice for the sins of mankind, was buried, arose bodily from the grave, and ascended into Heaven. Christs ReturnWe believe that Jesus Christ will literally return to earth. Holy SpiritWe believe that God the Holy Spirit is active in convincing unbelievers of their need for salvation, and is the Comforter and Guide Who lives in every believer. BibleWe believe that the Bible is the Word of God without any error, the sole authority for life and faith. ManWe believe that man is a special creation of God, made in His image, but that through the sin of the first man, Adam, mankind fell so that all men are sinners and need salvation. SalvationWe believe that salvation is a gift received through repentance toward God and faith in the Lord Jesus Christ. AssuranceWe believe that every person who is truly saved is eternally secure in the Lord Jesus Christ. EternityWe believe that those persons who die in their sins without Christ spend eternity in Hell and those persons who die with their sins forgiven through Christ spend eternity in Heaven. BaptismWe believe that water baptism is an act of obedience to the command of Christ and is by immersion after salvation. ChurchWe believe that the church is a local body of baptized believers with the Lord Jesus Christ as the Head. PrayerWe believe that each believer has direct access to God through the Lord Jesus Christ. GovernmentWe believe in the separation of church and state, but not in separation of God and government. Christians are salt and light in society.
Christian HelpLine Training Manual 6 Overview of StandFirm Ministry:

StandFirm Ministry was initiated in response to a call from the Lord. The mission is to reach as many as possible to lead them to Christ, to help them understand who they are in Christ, to grow in their faith, learn how to share their faith, and to disciple others. This mission is accomplished through three means of service: Biblical Counseling, Discipleship, and Christian HelpLine. Biblical Counseling provides Christ-centered counseling to help understand symptoms, the nature of our problems, and to lean on what Gods word says in how to respond to these problems. Often, the focus is on surrendering our will and life over to Christ, and yield to His breaking of our self which is our personal experience of the Cross, and then to allow Christ to live His life through us. Discipleship involves a one-to-one meeting, or a group of 3-4 people, meeting regularly, working through a curriculum, and to allow the relational experience of this fellowship, by the power of the Holy Spirit, to transform us. The members of the Discipleship groups will themselves initiate the same process with others. Christian HelpLine is the Christian phone ministry. This is a 24/7 ministry whereby anyone can call and talk about anything on their heart. Volunteers who answer the phones will be trained to provide support, encouragement, prayer and referral. The aim is to take this message and this ministry to the community as a mobile outreach. Biblical Counseling sessions and Discipleship will be conducted at local churches and in homes. Christian HelpLine phones will be forwarded to and answered by personal cell or home phones of volunteers. The overall aim is to see the church body in our community and region be invested in this ministry through time, resources and prayer. We are to be available and obedient, and the Lord is to be faithful in His work.
Mission of Christian HelpLine:

Christian HelpLine is a Christian telephone service that responds to the needs of others by offering an opportunity for anyone to call confidentially 24/7 and 365 days per year in order to receive Christ-centered support, encouragement and prayer. We resolve to minister the love of Christ to everyone who calls through sharing the Gospel, leading them to Christ, providing prayer, support, and encouragement, connecting them to a local church, and offering referrals for other services as deemed appropriate. Christian HelpLine is a service of Stand Firm Ministry.
Vision of Christian HelpLine:

Christian HelpLine will partner with local and regional churches as an outreach tool for the purpose of: increasing the visibility of the church in the community growing the number of visits and contacts made by and to the church training and fostering investment in ministry activities by church members assisting churches in sharing the Gospel in the community Christian HelpLine will accomplish this vision by engaging in the following: Create and maintain a database of participating local and regional churches by zip code and with a listing of services and ministries offered by those churches Refer callers to churches within their area. Callers will be asked for consent to contact these local churches with their contact information so they may follow-up with the caller by phone or in person, should the caller desire this. Refer the caller to visit the local church should they not desire in person follow-up by the church HelpLine will help arrange transportation for the caller to attend the church. We will also continue to communicate with the caller about their visit with the church, and if they desire any other church referral. The point is to see that the caller does not fall through the cracks but they actually connect to a church they will continue to attend and serve. Train volunteers from local and regional churches to answer the HelpLine phones. Training will include a Training Manual, a review of protocols and various issues callers may present with Share the Gospel with each caller, regardless of the initial reason for the call Provide materials in the form of flyers, inserts, brochures, etc., that each church may personalize with their name and address. These materials are to be shared in the community and the church as often and in any manner deemed appropriate by the church Conduct workshops, training sessions, presentations, seminars, screenings, classes, and other events requested by the church Provide monthly reports to each participating church containing information about call volume by time of day and by zip code, referrals made, caller demographics, decisions made, and other pertinent data elements. Provide regular group meetings for volunteers for further training and support
Goals of the Christian HelpLine ministry

Evangelism To share the Gospel with callers as ambassadors for Christ, pleading on behalf of God that they be reconciled to God; to be ministers of reconciliation; to communicate and lead them to a personal relationship with Christ Understanding To listen for what the caller is really saying, and communicate to them in a manner that demonstrates understanding of their need Encouragement To communicate hope and perseverance in their circumstance by rejoicing in the Lord in their circumstance Instruction To expose, direct, and take the caller to the principles of the Bible as their answer Intercession To pray with callers about their needs and helping them understand how to pray in their circumstance, and how to surrender their needs to the Lord Continuing Care To connect the caller to a local church through referral, follow-up, transportation arrangements, and continued communication and assistance until they are connected to a church they will attend and serve. The point is to prevent the caller from falling through the cracks without church involvement. Also, HelpLine will equip the caller to continue receiving help after the call by offering literature, resources, and referrals appropriate to their need.
Christian HelpLine Training Manual 9 Description of Volunteer Role:

The volunteer is a dedicated Christian who cares about the needs of those who may call and are willing to serve others by sharing the love of Christ. They are adequately trained to answer the various calls they may receive, and each receives a Training Manual as a reference tool to keep and use for each call. Each must meet the following requirements: Be an active member of a church that supports Stand Firm Ministrys Statement of Faith Be recommended by their pastor or church minister Complete the HelpLine training Commit to at least 8 hours per month to answer calls Every volunteer is responsible for answering calls to the Christian HelpLine during their scheduled shift. Volunteers are asked to: Schedule themselves for at least two four-hour shifts per month, but more if they desire Provide support, encouragement, prayer, and referral as appropriate for the call Calls will be answered on a mobile basis and forwarded to their cell or home phone, however they prefer Each call will be documented on a call log which the volunteer is responsible to fax or email at the end of their shift Volunteers are not counselors and so do not offer or provide counseling Referrals for phone or in-person Biblical counseling can be made for any caller Each volunteer is expected to communicate sensitivity, compassion, and concern to every caller. Remember that in our flesh alone, we can only offer superficial gains Follow Christian HelpLine protocols Be available and obedient to God, and it is then up to the Holy Spirit to work through us and minister to others We cannot fix people, nor should we try We are to point people to Christ, and He alone can do the miracle of transforming hearts, and this is where the true answer isthe Way, the Truth, and The Life We may never know the impact Christian HelpLine has on a life, but we trust that many divine appointments will be encountered. We pray that God will be glorified through the ministry.
Christian HelpLine Training Manual 10 What is a Christian HelpLine Volunteer?

Believers are to be encouragers of others. Out of our own walk with the Lord, and our knowledge of what Gods Word has to say about the callers need, we can minister to callers. (Prov.25:11; Col. 3:16; Heb. 3:13)
A HelpLine volunteer: Actively listens Opens their heart to listen with love Depends on the Holy Spirit to help them listen accurately Communicates truth gently Knows that change comes when the heart is changed, and that only God can do this Will have times of failure Accepts that not every caller will be helped or accept help Knows of their own constant and personal need of God
Remember that we cannot: Solve problems Give Gods perfect answer for every problem Force others to receive help Make the needs or problems of others our own Know exactly how every caller feels or what it is like to be in their position
Christian HelpLine Training Manual 11 The Disciplines of a Christian HelpLine Volunteer
Read and Study the Bible The Word of God is our spiritual food, which we must have on a regular basis or we will spiritually starve. Daily Bible reading and studying on our own are essential. Disciples abide in the Word of God and experience its liberating power. (Matt. 4:4; John 8:31, 32) Prayer Prayer is vital. It is the primary activity by which our desire for God is expressed. (Jer.33: 3; Mark 9:23; Heb. 4:16) Many Christians know prayer is important but they do not seem to do it regularly or genuinely. Distractions, fear, guilt or resentment against God for something that happened in the past, or perceiving that God does not want to hear from us, can keep us from prayer. Fellowship The Christian life cannot be lived in isolation. We need each other. No part of your body would survive if it was severed from the rest, yet many Christians try to live their lives apart from Christian fellowship. (Acts 2:42-46) Relationships can be uncomfortable; however, it is through relationship that the Father works to reveal things to us about ourselves and works to make us more like Christ. In fellowship, we must be willing to be ministered to as well as minister to others. Surrendering to the Lordship of Christ It is not enough to say that we have made a decision to trust Christ as our Savior, and yet not yield our will and our life to Him. A lack of yielding implies a lack of trust, which assumes a lack of faith. Sometimes this lack of surrender comes from a lack of knowledge. After a decision to trust in Christ for salvation, new believers are generally not disciple in how to grow and practically live out that faith. As a result, when problems arise that do not meet their expectations of what the Christian life was to be, they resort back to the flesh, mush as the Israelites did after leaving the bondage of Egypt. There can be no true spiritual joy until our life is surrendered in every respect: goals, thoughts, decisions, relationships, children, career, moneyeverything. We must believe John 15:5 when Jesus said that we can do nothing apart from Him. Surrendering is a decision to yield our will to God moment by moment, daily. Surrendering is not the outcome or the result of the decision to surrender. It is simply the ongoing decision.

Disciplines (contd)
Walking in the Spirit At the time of salvation, God gives us His spirit that causes us to walk by His statutes and a desire to observe His ordinances (Ezekiel 36:27). Our old self that once ruled us has been crucified with Christ (Romans 6:6) and has been replaced by Gods Spirit within us. This Spirit, if permitted, will empower us to do the things that are pleasing to God and to not sin. However, even though our old self has been crucified with Christ, we still have sin in us, that is, in our bodies, and we always will until we die the physical death. One day, we will receive glorified bodies which will have no sin. Until then, we have the Spirit, but we also have the desires of the flesh in us. These two compete against one another (Galatians 5:17). We still have our will, which is our decision to side one way or another: whether with the flesh or the Spirit. Daily, moment by moment, we make decisions to walk according to the flesh or walk according to the Spirit. By choosing to fulfill the desires of my flesh means to be walking after it. However, we can choose to walk in the Spirit, because as believers we now have this Spirit in us. The critical point is the will. We have choice as to how we will walk.
Christian HelpLine Training Manual The Attitude of a HelpLine Volunteer

Spiritual Dependence We must recognize in our service with the HelpLine, that we cannot in any way adequately serve the Lord in our own strength. We have been granted gifts by the Holy Spirit, but these gifts can only be appropriately used when we choose to walk in the Spirit. In John 15:5, Jesus said that apart from Him we can do nothing. Paul said, such confidence we have through Christ toward God. Not that we are adequate in ourselves to consider anything as coming from ourselves, but our adequacy is from God... (2Cor. 3:4-5) Submission We must be willing to subject ourselves to the structure, procedures, and policies of HelpLine in order to be faithful and effective. All genuine authority in this world comes from God (Rom. 13:1). No one who would minister in Gods kingdom can be above authority. No one can be a law unto themselves. (Rom. 10:3-4; Eph. 5:21) Jesus said, Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth (Matt. 5:5). God is opposed to the proud, arrogant, aggressive and those who must have their own way. (1 Pet. 5:5) Those who are effective in ministry submit themselves to God by submitting themselves to those whom God has raised up in positions of leadership in the work of the Lord. (Titus 3:1-2) Sacrifice Whether it is the HelpLine or some other mission activity, we must be willing to accept that our usual routine and level of comfort will be challenged. Serving the Lord does not mean carving out some convenient time in our lives that we will offer to God in service to Him. How offensive to God! We first obey Him, serve Him. As with tithing, we give Him our best, and our first fruits, with a grateful heart, and not the left-overs. It costs something to be involved in the ministry. It cost Jesus His life. It cost Paul extreme hardship. (2Cor. 11:23-28) You will need to have the attitude of Timothy, who was willing to set aside his own interests and to seek the interests of Jesus Christ. This means he became genuinely concerned for the welfare of others. (Phil.2: 20-21) Servanthood The fundamental attitude of all who labor in ministry must be the attitude Jesus displayed when He came as a servant. (Matt. 20:28; Phil. 2:5-8) Servants are those who make good use of what their Master has given them until He calls them to account. This is the teaching of the Parable of the Talents (Matt. 25:14-30). We will all give account one day to Christ for how faithful we have been as His servants in using the spiritual gifts, resources, and opportunities to serve others, which He has offered us in this life. (1Cor. 3:12-15; 1 Pet. 4:10)
13
Benefits of Being a Volunteer
Learn to share your faith with confidence. Christian HelpLine training will help equip you to do this over the phone, however, we would recommend more extensive training through Evangelism Explosion or Way of the Master in order to gain a more thorough grasp of how this is done. Helps fulfill the desire to serve the Lord Learn to pray for others Develop an understanding of how various problems arise Exercise the ministry of reconciliation. We are ministers of reconciliation (2 Corinthians 5: 18-19). We are ambassadors for Christ, as though God were making an appeal through us. We beg you on behalf of Christ, be reconciled to God. (2 Corinthians 5:20). Growth in personal faith. The more one shares their faith the more they grow in that faith. To actually verbalize your own testimony and to evangelize requires you to organize your thoughts about what you are going to say. Organizing your thoughts challenges as to how you think and believe about something. Verbalizing that then affirms those beliefs. Experiencing the work of the Holy Spirit through you and then in the lives of others increases your faith.
Commitment to Christian HelpLine

Volunteers are asked to commit to the following: Maintain a strong personal walk with the Lord and a holy life according to the standards of the Word of God Demonstrate a Christ-like character to all callers and trusting in the help of the Holy Spirit to enable caring, biblical counsel to be given. They will minister through active listening, encouragement, sharing Scriptures and prayer Make use of the opportunities for on-going training Work on the phones regularly and make an initial commitment of one year as personal circumstances permit. However, he or she may withdraw at any time
Complete all relevant forms and reports accurately and promptly Pray regularly for the ministry of the HelpLine and StandFirm Ministry, as well as your own ministry on the phones Encourage others with the required gifts and spiritual maturity to consider becoming a Christian HelpLine volunteer
Christian HelpLine Training Manual 16 Instruments God Uses to Change Us

The Word of God The Word of God replaces lies and deceptions with Gods truth. Jesus said that God would change us through His Word. (Eph. 4:23-24; John 17:17; Heb. 4:12; Ps. 119:11) We believe Gods Word has power to transform the lives of those who will believe it and obey it. This is why using Gods Word is central to the ministry of HelpLine. It is our principle resource along with prayer. The Word of God has power to: Save the lost (1Cor. 1:18; John 6:68) Keep us from sin (Ps. 119:11) Give us guidance (Ps. 119:105) Give us wisdom and understanding (Ps. 119:98-99) Heal the sick (Ps. 107:20) Give us encouragement and hope (Rom. 15:4) Circumstances The circumstances we encounter daily must be seen as approved by God. He is sovereign. We also know that whatever circumstance we are in, he will work it for good to those who are His (Romans 8:28). Some circumstances will be the result of our own sin, or at the hands of the sins of others. Scripture says that, It is for discipline that you endure; God deals with you as with sons; for what son is there whom his father does not discipline? (Hebrews 12:7) We must yield to our Father as He shapes us to be more like His son. If we do not yield, the process is prolonged and brings about continued suffering. The Body of Christ Christ has gifted His body so that it can accomplish His purposes on earth. By caring for one another, by confronting one another in love, and by confessing our faults to one another, we can be changed. We are to be about building one another up (Ephesians 4:11) and subject ourselves through relationship to be built up through the encouragement of others. (Rom. 12:4-8; 1Cor. 12:12-17; Matt. 18:15-17; Jas. 5:16; Col. 3:16) The Holy Spirit By the presence and the working of the Holy Spirit who dwells in each believer, God can convict, guide, teach, encourage, strengthen, empower and change us. (2Cor. 3:17-18) God grants us gifts at the time of salvation for the purpose of working together with the body of Christ (the church) to lead others to Christ, minister and build up one another, and serve Him as He leads. Therefore, the Lord receives the glory for work that is done, since our help is from Him and we are merely instruments.
Schedules
Christian HelpLine accepts calls 24/7/365. Shifts are in 4 hour increments as follows:
12:00am4:00am8:00am12:00pm4:00pm8:00pm
4:00am 8:00am 12:00pm 4:00pm 8:00pm 12:00am
Volunteers are asked to schedule themselves for at least two (2) four hour shifts per month. A volunteer may schedule themselves for more shifts if desired. If unable to work your scheduled shift, you are asked to give as much advance notice as possible, preferably at least 24 hours prior to your shift. Only those individuals having completed the full training, and having received a certificate of completion, may be scheduled for shifts. Although a volunteer will be able to answer calls from anywhere they choose, i.e. cell phones, they must be available during that time, and Christian HelpLine calls are to be considered a priority. Being able to answer calls on a mobile basis affords one the opportunity of continuing with their usual daily routine while being on-call. However, answering the phone during a scheduled shift has to be anticipated. It is suggested that one plan to answer several calls during the shift so as not to be unprepared.
Christian HelpLine Training Manual 18 Forwarded Calls:

One of the advantages of volunteering with Christian HelpLine is that one is not required to remain at one location and answer a land line during their shift. Phones are forwarded to a number designated by the volunteer during their scheduled shift. This allows the volunteer the freedom to maintain their daily routine and activities and yet still be available for the phone calls. It is important, however, that arrangements be made for privacy and a quiet area in which to receive calls. It is also imperative that the volunteer be able to give undivided attention to the caller. If the caller senses that the volunteer is in the middle of something else and they are preoccupied, the caller will not have a good experience. Typically, several people will be available to receive calls each shift. When someone calls the 1877-44-STAND number, they will hear a recorded message that asks them to select option #1 for the Christian HelpLine. At that time, the call will forward to one of those volunteers scheduled to receive calls. If they are busy on a call, or if they do not answer the call in 3 rings, the call will forward to the next available volunteer. The caller will not hear the call being transferred during this process. They instead will hear message interrupted periodically by a message that asks them to continue to wait for their connection. When you receive a Christian HelpLine call, the number on your caller id will be preceded by a 4 digit code that alerts you to answer the phone according to Christian HelpLine protocol. Once your shift ends, the volunteers phone number will automatically be deleted from the list for that assigned time. This is controlled via computer program which is maintained by the Director.
Telephone Manner:
Listen. When there are many words, transgression is unavoidable, but he who restrains his lips is wise. (Prov.10: 19) Keep in mind that our first task as a prayer partner is to listen. As well, if we go on and on with reams of Scripture and advice, the caller will probably remember very little of what we say. Also, if we allow ourselves that liberty, it will take the focus off the person with the need and put it onto you. (Isa.50: 4) Speak softly and clearly. Be positive. Speak in such a way as to lift others up. (Phil. 4:4; Prov.12: 25; 16:24) ...but, speaking the truth in love, may [we] grow up in all aspects into Him, who is the head, even Christ. (Eph. 4:15) Speaking the truth is not enough because if we fail to speak in love, we have failed to live the truth. Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children. And walk in love, just as Christ also loved you, and gave Himself up for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God as a fragrant aroma. (Eph. 5:1-2) Avoid angry responses. (Prov.16: 32) A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. (Prov.15: 1) No matter what provocation we are subjected to, our aim is to display Christ-like calmness and kindness in all our responses. (1 Pet. 2:21-23) Speak to the caller as an equal, even though you may not agree with their lifestyle. (1Cor. 13:4) Identify with their feelings and problems. (2Cor. 1:3-4) Like one who takes off a garment on a cold day, or like vinegar on soda, is he who sings songs to a troubled heart. (Prov.25: 20) We must learn how to enter into peoples feelings and support and strengthen them in their suffering rather than refusing to acknowledge their pain.(Rom. 12:15) Be sensitive and wise. Start with where the person is. If admonition is necessary, do it gently. (Prov.12: 18; 13:16) A man has joy in an apt answer and how delightful is a timely word! (Prov.15: 23) We must rely on the Holy Spirit and upon the careful, continuous preparation of our lives in the Word of God so that we may speak words that give Gods grace to the caller. (Eph. 4:29; Col. 4:6) Be considerate of the callers convictions and denomination. Keep from putting down another denomination or church. Point people to Jesus. If a specific issue is raised, address the issue from Scripture in a clear manner. Show them what the Bible has to say. Do not go on a crusade to convert them to your position. Be careful not to encourage the caller to lean on you. (Hebrews 12:1-2)
Structure of the Call

Keep the length of calls reasonably short. Remember to empower the caller with resources and referrals. This is an excellent way to help the caller to move onto the next step to receive the help they need. Each call to HelpLine should follow a particular structure. This is helpful in assuring that you remain on track with a call. Structure helps you manage your time and resources for each call. Certain objectives should be met for each call, and these will be documented on the Call Log Form. The form itself will have the call outline that you may reference as a guide. HelpLine has developed the following structure for each call, which forms the acronym GLADLY. This acronym also is an assertion and reminder of how we want to approach the call, which is our service to the Lord.
G- Greeting L- Listen A- Ask about Salvation and share the Gospel D-Determine the need L-Lift the need in prayer Y-Yield the results to the Lord
We will attempt to connect each caller to a local church, and make any other referrals as deemed appropriate.
G- Greeting
It is important that each call is answered in as uniform a manner as possible. This provides continuity across all shifts. It also projects that Christian HelpLine is an organized and structured ministry. What is said, how it is said, and the intention of what is said, are all important factors when answering the Christian HelpLine. Each Christian HelpLine caller should be greeted with: This is Christian HelpLine. How can I be of help? Also important is the tone in which the call is answered. We should have a warm and inviting tone of voice. This will help the caller feel more at ease. In most cases, the caller will be anxious and tense about calling and will not be certain of what to expect. The more reassuring and comforting our tone is, the more willing the caller will be to continue. We must also answer the phone with an intention; a purpose. Our intent is to communicate in a way that allows the caller to feel cared about, listened to, and important. Our purpose will be aimed at communicating the love of Christ. Keeping this in mind will bring our focus onto the caller and will help alleviate distractions. What we say, how we say, and the intent in which we say it will establish an effective environment for conducting the rest of the call.
Christian HelpLine Training Manual 22 L- Listen

Of the utmost importance for Christian HelpLine is that we listen to our callers. You may be surprised to know that listening is a skill that is poorly developed and used among most of us. Did you know that we remember only about 25-50% of what we hear? That means that when we are talking to our spouse, customers, friends, etc. for 10 minutes, they only hear 2.5 -5 minutes of the conversation. Turn that around and it shows that we are not hearing the whole message communicated to us by others either. And yet listening is so vital, especially for Christian HelpLine. It is also one of the things that, if done correctly, can be of tremendous help to a caller. Good listening helps a caller, or any of us for that matter, sense that someone cares about what we are thinking, feeling, or what we have to say. In most cases, it is not what we say to someone that they remember, but that they felt cared about, and that they could talk, and they felt heard. Active listening is the manner of communicating to callers that Christian HelpLine wants to utilize. This is where you make a conscious effort to hear not only the words that another person is saying but, more importantly, to try and understand the total message being sent. In order to do this effectively, one must pay attention to the other person very carefully. We cannot allow ourselves to become distracted by what else may be going on around us, or by thinking of what we are going to say when the person stops speaking. We cannot allow ourselves to lose focus on what the other person is saying. The following are key points: Pay attention. Give the speaker your undivided attention and acknowledge the message. Recognize that what is not said also speaks loudly. o o o o Put aside distracting thoughts. Dont mentally prepare a rebuttal! Avoid being distracted by environmental factors. Listen to the speakers body language. Refrain from side conversations when listening
Listen (Contd)
Clarify. Our personal filters, assumptions, judgments, and beliefs can distort what we hear. As a listener, your role is to understand what is being said. This may require you to reflect what is being said and ask questions.
o o o
Reflect what has been said by paraphrasing. What Im hearing is and Sounds like you are saying are great ways to reflect back. Ask questions to clarify certain points. What do you mean when you say? Is this what you mean? Summarize the callers comments periodically.
Show that you are listening. Use your own body language and gestures to convey your attention.
o o
Smile and use other facial expressions, even though the caller cannot see them. Encourage the speaker to continue with small verbal comments like yes, and uh huh.
Defer judgment. Interrupting is a waste of time. It frustrates the speaker and limits full understanding of the message.
o o
Allow the speaker to finish. Dont interrupt with counter-arguments.
Respond Appropriately. Active listening is a model for respect and understanding. You are gaining information and perspective. You add nothing by attacking the speaker or otherwise putting him or her down.
o o o
Be candid, open, and honest in your response. Assert your opinions respectfully. Treat the other person as you would want to be treated.
A-Ask about Salvation

Evangelizing: We share the Gospel with everyone. Any time someone calls Christian HelpLine, we want to see that as an opportunity to share the Gospel with them. However, at the same time we want to demonstrate the active listening skills just reviewed. Timing will be critical in this area, as we want to demonstrate that we are listening and care about what is on their heart, and at the same time we want the opportunity to introduce the Gospel. In many cases, this may come later in the call, after the individual has been able to share what is on their mind, and why they called. Other times it may be early in the call when someone, for example, may ask what Christian HelpLine is. Take the opportunity to let them know what Christian HelpLine is, and reference the Mission of Christian HelpLine at the front of this manual. When thinking of introducing the idea of evangelism, consider what it is we want to know, and what we want them to consider: 1. Are they saved? 2. Are they sure of their salvation? 3. Do they have an accurate understanding of how we are saved? 4. Are they growing in their faith? o Attending church o Reading their Bible o Fellowship with other believers ***Reference the information regarding SALVATION.
Christian HelpLine Training Manual D-Determine the Need

Various issues may arise as callers reveal more and more of themselves and their situation or complaint. Of course, each caller must be addressed uniquely and individually. Determining the callers need may sometimes be impossible, in that the caller is being vague or dishonest about their symptoms or complaint. Perhaps they are not aware of what their chief complaint is, yet they were compelled to call HelpLine. Praise the Lord! Listening will be a critical component of being able to determine the need of the caller. This listening involves attending to what the caller is not saying through tone, volume, mood, hesitation, etc. This also involves attending to the prompting of the Holy Spirit within you as to how you should proceed or pray. A common theme of our troubles is sin. This particularly is evident through our attempts to live successfully apart from God, or to achieve any means to any end that is apart from God. However, there are times when we experience suffering that we cannot link to any direct consequence of our sin. There are times when God in His sovereignty allows things to happen that are beyond our understanding. But we know that God is in control of all things, and all things work for good to those who love Him and are called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28). All we have is from God, and we rejoice in the blessing of having what we have as long as He has seen fit to give it to us. If sin is the source of our particular troubles, then our response needs to include the following: Confession and repentance of our sin Forgiveness of others Accurate view of self- we cannot overcome without Christ We still have sin in us as Christians, and it wars against the Spirit- the result of this battle on a moment-by-moment basis is evidenced in either the fruit of the Spirit or the deeds of the flesh. - For the flesh sets its desire against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; for these are in opposition to one another, so that you may not do the things that you please. (Galatians 5:17) - What is the source of quarrels and conflicts among you? Is not the source your pleasures that wage war in your members? (James 4:1) - But I see a different law in the members of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and making me a prisoner of the law of sin which is in my members. (Romans 7:23) - Beloved, I urge you as aliens and strangers to abstain from fleshly lusts which wage war against the soul. (1 Peter 2:11)
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While listening to the caller, keep in mind the previous points as the underlying nature of our struggles. Then, consider the following clues to listen for from the caller. These clues will help you determine the specific nature of the call: What does the caller want to see happen? (Their goal or the Lords goal?) What does the caller think will make things better? Their idol or the Lord How has the caller responded to the particular stressor in their life? (Responded after the flesh or the Spirit?) Do they have knowledge of what Scripture has to say about the issue? (They know and are rebelling, or they need to be educated and encouraged?) Are they focused on how the Lord can work to change them, or are they focused on how others need to change? (Humility and responsibility for self, or blame and projection?)
Being able to determine the answers to these questions as you listen to the caller will guide in you how to respond. Remember, we are not providing counseling, but we can help the caller see their situation realistically and Biblically.
We want to encourage callers to: Refocus their attention on their own heart (motives, desires, values) (Psalm 139:23-24; Luke 6:45; Genesis 8:21) Help them primarily focus on their response to the situation instead of other factors; this will help them to see their heart (Proverbs 15:28; Colossians 4:6; Ephesians 4:29) Assist them in allowing the Lord to work in their life and their heart in this area (Psalm 31:30) Encourage them that the Lord wants to do a work in this area of their life
Christian HelpLine Training Manual 27 L- Lift In Prayer
One of the most vital aspects of this ministry is prayer. You will be praying for and with those who call you. Also, you will be asked to pray for the ministry and you will be encouraged to ask people to pray specifically for your participation in the ministry. It is through prayer and obedience to the Lord that we will find Him working in this ministry; His ministry. As a volunteer who answers the phone, we need to pray before our shift begins. We need to be a clean vessel before God, confess sin, and ask Him to use us in whatever manner He chooses during our shift (Psalm 139:23-24; 2 Timothy 2:21). Pray for divine appointments and pray that we will surrender our will to Him and follow the leading of His Spirit. We need to ask others to pray for us and be prayer partners. (Ephesians 6:19-20; Colossians 4:3; 1Thessalonians 5:25) These partners need to make a commitment to pray at least weekly for you and your participation in Christian HelpLine. We need to pray for those who may call. Ask that the Lord work in the hearts of those calling. Trust that those who call will be brought by the Lord and that He will do the work.
Why Should We Pray?
God commands it. (Matthew 5:44, 7:7-8; Luke 5:16, 6:12; Colossians 4:2) We can be changed through prayer. (Isaiah 6:1-5; 2 Corinthians 3:18) God works through our prayers. (Romans 12:12; Philippians 4:6) God is honored and receives the glory. (Psalm 28:6-7)
(2 Chronicles 7:14) and My people who are called by My name humble themselves and pray and seek My face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven, will forgive their sin and will heal their land. (James 4:10) Humble yourselves in the presence of the Lord, and He will exalt you.
L- Lift In Prayer (contd)
How To Pray For Callers Pray for the specific need Pray Scripture Pray in faith Express genuine emotion Pray in agreement with Gods will Focus the prayer on God and not the problem
Encourage the caller that we will continue to pray for them after the call. Also, encourage them to continue to pray.
Christian HelpLine Training Manual 29 Y- Yield the Results to the Lord

As we minister to and pray with callers, we must be ever mindful that we cannot fix anyone. If any transformation is to occur in the heart of man, it can only happen as the result of Gods work in that heart. (Matthew 15:18-19) As much as you may desire to help a caller realize Biblical truths, some will not see. (1 Corinthians 1:18, 2:14)
Keep the following in mind: Pray for the caller after the call is completed Pray that the Holy Spirit will guide them as to how they should proceed Praise the Lord for His trusting you with that call Ask Him to show you how you may grow from that call
Referrals
You will have resources attached to this manual that include many services to which callers can be referred based on their presenting issues. These will include shelters, community health clinics, churches and their ministries etc. Our referral resources for churches would include a list of churches arranged by zip code. Callers could indicate their zip code and we could inform of the churches in their zip code as well as the ministries offered there. This helps to fulfill our goal to aid in the growth of churches.
Remember to offer in-person counseling follow-up by the counselors of Stand Firm ministry. Assure the callers that our staff will follow-up with them and a session will be scheduled, at no cost, at a local church near them or in their home.
Referrals may become another tremendous resource of the ministry. As Christian HelpLine becomes more prominent people may call just for the referral. As Christian HelpLine becomes more regional and national, referral resources will be updated. Eventually, this can be accessed by volunteers or callers on the website at standfirmministry.com.
CHURCH REFERRALS One of our major aims is to connect callers to a local church. We will do this be referring them to churches within or close to their zip code. With their consent we will do the following: 1. Give their contact information to a specific contact at the local church 2. The church is to follow-up with the caller in 48 hours 3. HelpLine will follow-up with the caller in 72 hours to see that the church contacted them 4. We will help arrange transportation for them to attend the church service, if the church is unable to do so. 5. We will continue follow-up until we see that the caller has connected with a church they will attend and serve. This may require referrals to other churches until the caller is finally connected.
Documentation
There are some pieces of information we would like to collect about each call. This will help us track elements such as the number of calls, time of highest call volume, zip code concentration of calls, decisions made, referral sources, etc. The form for documentation may be completed on paper and faxed, sent by email, or completed on the website at standfirmministry.com. The form can be located under the Volunteer tab, and by selecting the page Call Log. The documentation is not meant to be labor intensive at all. It is brief, to the point, and easy to complete. It will be your responsibility to accurately record the information about each call and to get certain elements from the caller each time. Name is never required, but may optionally be given. Ask for it just in case, even if just first name. Documentation should be submitted by the end of the shift. This is necessary in case we have follow-up calls, visits, or in case the person calls back again later. This can be faxed, emailed, or submitted online. The documentation form is included in the manual.
Christian HelpLine Training Manual
HELPLINE Call Log

Date: ___________ Time: _______ Volunteer: _____________________
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Caller Name: (If willing) ____________________________ Caller phone #: (If willing) ____________________ Zip Code: ______________
How they heard about HelpLine: ______________________________________ Reason for calling: __________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________ __________________________________________________________________ **If having suicidal/homicidal thoughts, call Director after the call. ** **If calling about child abuse, call Director after the call. ** Call Checklist:
x
Place an x by item completed. Place an x by item completed. Place an x by item completed.
PRAY with caller

Other prayer request?
SHARE the Gospel

Decision made:
CONNECT to local church

Which church? Name phone
Salvation Assurance Restoration
Allow us to call church?
yes yes yes
no no no
Need transportation? Church contacted?
Referral made to StandFirm counseling? ___YES
___NO
Other referral made? _______________________________________________
HELPLINE Follow-up Log

Caller Name: ________________________________________ Phone #: ____________________________________________ Zip Code: _______________ HelpLine will follow-up with callers in the following circumstances, unless caller refuses:
Church connection: To make sure they were contacted by the church, and if they desire another church referral. (72 hours) Self-harm thoughts: The supervisor will make these calls within 24 hours. Salvation decision: In 7 days, unless contacted earlier for church connection. Information: If we did not have information we wanted to give them, we may call back with that.
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Follow-up: Date Time
Volunteer Initials
Outcome (note about what happened)
Christian HelpLine Training Manual 34 What Do I Say?
One of the factors that probably intimidates people the most when answering the phone for Christian HelpLine is this question, What do I say? Let me assure you that most everyone wonders this before taking calls. However, this need not be a barrier nor does it need to prevent you from being an effective volunteer. The work of Christian HelpLine is the Lords work. It is not for us to boast in, but for us to surrender our will to Him so that He can work. He has brought this caller to us for Himself, not for our glory, but for His. Let Him work. Also, remember that we are not offering counseling.
Myth: The question of What do I say? implies there is one particular correct thing to say and that we have to figure out what it is; saying anything else would be wrong. Truth: There is no one correct thing to say. Remember that often times active listening is more important than having an answer. Being able to reflect back to the caller what you heard them say helps you clarify, and helps the caller be reassured you do care and are attentive. Myth: It is wrong to say I dont know. If I am not sure of something, I should make up an answer because having an answer is better than not knowing. Truth: It is okay to say I dont know. Being able to admit that makes you human, demonstrates honesty and integrity, and fosters the caller to trust in you more. Let them know you will find out if they would like you to and that you can call them back if they like. Myth: If I dont know what to say then I must not be a good volunteer. Truth: Not knowing what to say means you dont know what to saynothing more. Remember, Christian HelpLine is to be the Lords work, not ours. It is done in His strength, not ours. Admit to the Lord at that moment, Lord, I dont know what to say. If this person is to be helped, You must do it. Work through me, even now What a moment for praise when the Lord works through you at that time. He then is to receive praise.
Christian HelpLine Training Manual 35 Reports of Abuse or Neglect

If a caller expresses to you any known or suspected physical or sexual abuse, or neglect of a child or adult, this must be reported. The proper procedure is to notify the Director and discuss with him before notifying any agency. The call will be staffed to determine the nature of the call and the appropriateness of reporting. You may discuss with the caller that there are times when abuse must be reported. It is sometimes best to discuss this with them prior to them disclosing so that they can make the decision of informing you or not. I you sense that the caller is about to disclose some form of abuse or suspected abuse, interrupt them and be sure to inform them that you may have to report certain information they disclose to you if it involves abuse/neglect of a child, or potential abuse/neglect of a child. Sometimes, callers may inadvertently talk about an incident that has happened and they do not recognize it as abuse. In these cases, the caller may need to be educated. The Director will need to be contacted before any action is taken. If the caller is the victim of abuse, you may need to refer them to shelters as appropriate. In this case, you can reference the phone numbers on the resource list.
Frequent Callers
With any hotline, there are those who call frequently for various reasons. You may discover this for yourself. In these cases, it is important not to establish any relationships with callers in which certain individuals always call just to speak with you. This defeats the purpose of the Help-Line, enables the caller to become dependent, and will emotionally drain the volunteer. To manage these callers, always help them get to the issue they are calling about. Also, if they are calling frequently, then they are certainly a good candidate for in-person follow up. Never transfer a call to a particular volunteer just because the caller requests them. Never give out your personal phone number, or that of anyone else.
Christian HelpLine Training Manual 36 Prank Callers

As with any hotline, there will be those callers who call, not with the intent of seeking help, but for other purposes, such as pranks. Some will be obvious and will seek to embarrass the volunteer by things said or questions asked. Others will be more subtle, perhaps by not speaking or by being vague. Some callers will be obviously intoxicated. Their speech will be slurred and they may be irate or very difficult to communicate with. In response to these callers, we want to be sensitive and loving. This can be accomplished in several ways. For example, if someone refuses to speak when we answer so that there is complete silence, we can, after several attempts to get them to talk, say a sincere prayer for the caller aloud, let them know they can call back at any time, and then disconnect the call. For those callers who are irate or argumentative, we can simply explain what we do, that we do not have all the answers but we know the One who does, ask if we can pray with them or about anything specific, and the disconnect the call. The advantage to having several people taking calls at one time is that if the prank caller calls back right away, the last person talking to them will not be the one who answers. Over time, and with the Lords leading, you will develop a comfortable response to these callers. These callers do not know you and are not interested in attacking you personally. In most cases, they are miserable, intoxicated, frustrated, desperate, and perhaps unbeknownst to them, they have stumbled upon one of the best things that could have happened to them by reaching you.
RESTORATION
Realizing that sin prevents our fellowship with God, we must be sensitive to its presence and be ready and willing to confess these sins. Without this practice, over time we become less sensitive to its working in our life. Not dealing with sin, we neglect the danger of sin and its desire to have us (Genesis 4:7). The Bible says it is crouching at our door and desires to have us but we must master it. Gods grace is sufficient for all of our sins (James 4:6), and we need it moment-bymoment. God offers this forgiveness and renewed fellowship, but we must do our part. The steps to restoration are outlined below in an acrostic. Use this with any caller who you are led to share this with. It is generally intended for the believer who realizes they have failed God, and now seeks forgiveness.
Repent and confess sin to God. (1 John 1:9; Proverbs 28:13; Psalm 32:3-4; 51) Embrace Gods forgiveness. (Psalm 32:5, 86:4-7, 103:12) Submit to God. (James 4:7,10; Romans 12:1-2; 1 Peter 5:6) Trust the Lord. (Prov. 3:5-6; Isa. 41:10; Matthew 6:25-34) Obey the Lord. (1 Samuel 15:22; John 4:34; Luke 6:46; John 14:15; 1 John 2:5) Read and study Gods word. (Psalm 119:11,16; Eph. 6:17; Heb. 4:12; Jam. 1:22; 1 Pet. 2:2) Encourage others. (Acts 11:23; Colossians 4:8; 1 Thess. 5:11,14; Heb 3:13)
SALVATION
Ephesians 2:8-9 says, For by grace you have been saved through faith; and that not of yourselves, it is the gift of God; not as a result of works, so that no one may boast. When you are speaking with a caller, and want to share with them the Gospel, and that salvation is offered as a gift of God, we must make sure of the following: The caller must understand what they need to be saved from. Without this understanding, and without our emphasis on this, the caller will not sense any real urgency about the condition of their soul. In discussing this, we need to emphasize what salvation saves us from. We do not need to share with people that they need Salvation so they wont go to hell. We need salvation to save us from our sins, of which the eternal penalty is hell. Salvation saves us from sin NOW, not just from the future penalty of hell. Sin has power, presence, and a penalty. Hell is the penalty for sin. However, after salvation, sin remains in us, that is in our earthly bodies. God has given us a new heart and His Spirit. But we still must contend with sin. Salvation saves us from the power of sin. That is, we are no longer in bondage to sin. Matthew 1:21 says, She will bear a son; and you shall call His name Jesus, for He shall save His people from their sins. 1 John 3:5 says, He appeared in order to take away sins; and in Him there is no sin. To help callers see themselves as sinners, we need to use the Law. The Law (Commandments) serves to make us aware of Gods standards for us, or what he expects of us. We then have an understanding of how we have failed to meet these standards (in that we have broken the Commandments). Then the Law points us to Christ, and in Christ we receive Gods gift of grace through faith. Christ kept the Law perfectly on earth as a man, and then paid the penalty for sin as if he had sinned. He bore Gods wrath for our sin, even though he had not sinned. This He did for us, not because we deserved it. Not because we could earn, but even more because we could not earn it. Having already violated at least one Commandment at least once in our life, we therefore could never start over and earn our way to heaven through perfection. Even if we could get a do over, we would mess that up within minutes and violate a Commandment again. But Christ said It is finished. He lived the perfect life for us. He died and paid the penalty for us. Why? Because He loved us, because we could not keep the Commandments (impossible) and because He does not desire that we live apart from Him. That is grace! I am helpless to see my sin without the Law. I am powerless to keep the Law. I am hopelessly lost because of the Law. But I am saved, by grace, through faith, because of Him who loves me, Jesus. You are in court, convicted of a crime and you owe $500,000 or else you will go to prison. You cant pay it. Just before the judge sends you away, a man steps forward and says, Your fine is paid. You are free. What would be your reaction? Wouldnt you want to know who paid that fine? Wouldnt you have a sense of gratitude toward that person for what they did? That is what Christ did for us. He paid a debt we could not pay, and yet one that he did not owe, so that we might choose freedom.
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SALVATION
The following keys should be covered: 1. Admit the need (I am a sinner). If they struggle or resist seeing themselves as a sinner, try: Use the Ten Commandments (The Law) to help them see their sinfulness, the judgment that awaits them, and their need for a Savior (Romans 3:19) Against the Law, no one can defend themselves; there is nothing that can be said Ask them if they have ever lied. When they say yes, ask them what someone who tells a lie is called- A liar. Have they used Gods name for a curse word? Thats called blasphemy. Explain that Jesus said that anyone who lust after a woman has already committed adultery in his heart. Ask them if they have ever lusted. What is someone who commits adultery called? An adulterer. Ask if they have ever taken something that did not belong to them. What is someone who steals called? A thief. Explain, By your own admission, you are a liar, blasphemer, thief, and an adulterer at heart. If God were to judge you today by the Ten Commandments, would you be guilty or innocent? Would you go to Heaven or Hell? Do you see why you cant earn your way to heaven or be a good person by works? What are you going to do about that? 2. Repent (Be willing to turn from your sins). (1 John 1:9) 3. Believe in Jesus death and resurrection (personal acceptance). (Acts 16:31; John 6:47) 4. Receive Jesus as Lord and Savior, submit to Him and give Him control of your life (John 1:12). Prayer 1. Ask them if they really want to make this decision today. If they do, pray in the following manner: Pray for them that God would grant them repentance and faith. Pray with them the 5 points of the Gospel, using their name, and asking them to repeat after you. Pray for them that the Holy Spirit would grant them assurance.
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2. If they do not want to make this decision today, pray for them. Make sure and respond with a sweet spirit. It is the job of the Holy Spirit to work in this person, to draw them and convict them, not ours. Ask them how you can pray specifically for them (any prayer requests, etc.) Address the reason for the call in your prayer
SALVATION
Follow-up: If they have made a decision for Christ, ask them to allow us, or a local church, to follow up with them by phone or in person. Explain this would be for the purpose of: Share with them more about their decision Give them a Bible if they do not have one Help them connect to a church in their area; assure them we are not recruiting for any particular church Pray with them Introduce them to Discipleship; explain that Discipleship is needed in order to learn and grow in their faith, and we do not want to leave them out there with no direction, support or encouragement
If they have not made a decision for Christ, make the following points: They may call back at any time May we refer them to a local church for follow-up with an in-person visit Refer them to standfirmministry.com website Leave them with a sweet spirit Pray with them
ABORTION
It is wrong to take the life of an unborn child. People, Christians included, may disagree on whether abortion is ever justified. The Bible states the giving and taking of life is for God to determine. The unborn are recognized as being fully human by the Bible: You saw me before I was born and scheduled each day of my life before I began to breathe. Every day was recorded in your Book! (Psalm 139:16, TLB). Human life is sacred to God. Children are His heritage and His reward (Psalm 127:3). Human life is created by God (Genesis 1:26-27), kept by God (Job 12:10), and reconciled by God (2 Cor. 5:19). There can be great pressure and turmoil with an unplanned or unwanted pregnancy. There are several situations in which a person may call regarding abortion: Considering an abortion Had an abortion
CONSIDERING AN ABORTION 1. Reassure the caller you are glad they called. 2. Discuss what feelings she has about abortion: shame, guilt, embarrassment, anger, fear 3. Question the beliefs about abortion: Do you believe it is wrong? 4. Ask about salvation and share the Gospel. 5. Discuss alternatives: adoption, have the child, family support. 6. Connect the caller with a local church. HAD AN ABORTION 1. Dwell on Gods forgiveness for those who are willing to repent. (1 John 1:9) 2. Present the Gospel. 3. Dont judge the decision yourself. Do emphasize Gods judgment for all sin. 4. Connect them with a local church.
Psalm 127:3 Psalm 32:1-5 Isaiah 40:31 Philippians 3:13-14 Jeremiah 1:5
Psalm 103:3-4 Philippians 4:13
Psalm 42:11 1 John 1:9 Isaiah 44:2
ADULTERY
Adultery is wrong. The seventh commandment says so (Exodus 20:14). The Bible says that the adulterer will be judged by God, and will not go to Heaven. Adultery is more than engaging in sex with another person. Jesus said in Matthew 5:27-30 that looking at another person with lust for them in adultery. Matthew 5:19 describes adultery as being out of the heart. The consequences of adultery last long after the act itself. Regardless of how you thought you may have got away with it, Numbers 32:23 says behold, you have sinned against the LORD, and be sure, your sin will find you out. God says to avoid adultery and do not put yourself in compromising positions. Job made a covenant with his eyes not to lust. Joseph ran from Potiphars wife in Genesis 39 when she continued to make advances toward him. It is not wise to allow yourself to be tempted with adultery or lust. Genesis 4:7 says that, sin is crouching at your door and its desire is for you, but you must master it. This does not mean you should continually expose yourself to lust until you decide you are stronger than it. 1 Corinthians 6:18 says to Flee immorality. Romans 6:12 says, Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal bodies so that you obey its lust. Consequences of adultery may be: Emotional- Depression, anxiety, guilt Physical- pregnancy, disease Spiritual- Need for repentance and forgiveness
1. 2. 3. 4. 5.
Question the caller about the reason for the call. Keep them focused on their thoughts and choices in the matter. Offer encouragement to avoid this sin. Suggest an accountability partner. Connect them to a local church. Share the Gospel.

ENGAGED IN ADULTERY (PAST OR PRESENT) 5. STOP!! 6. Present the Gospel. 7. Dont judge the decision yourself. Do emphasize Gods judgment for all sin. 8. Listen for, and help re-direct them, to taking responsibility for their behavior. There is absolutely no one they can blame. 9. Do not allow them to describe details of the affair, especially any sexual behaviors. 10. Assure them God offers forgiveness if they are truly repentant and ask Him. 11. Connect caller to a local church and ministry. PARTNER OF THE ADULTERER 1. Listen to their feelings about what happened. 2. Be willing to review the grief process from the grief section of this manual. 3. Share the Gospel. 4. Describe what forgiveness would look like.
Matthew 15:19 1 Corinthians 6:9-10 Hebrews 13:4 Proverbs 4:23 Proverbs 6:27 Proverbs 7:1-27 Proverbs 22:14 2 Samuel 12:1-7 Psalm 32 Psalm 51 Psalm 32:3-5 2 Samuel 11:2-3 1 Corinthians 6:11 Matthew 5:27-30 Proverbs 23:26-28 Exodus 20:14 John 8:11
ALCOHOLISM
Alcoholism involves a repeated pattern of alcohol use that causes problems in the persons life in one or all of the following: physical, emotional, social, occupational, legal, financial, family. Alcoholism is a symptom of a spiritual problem. It is the symptom of being in bondage to sin. Alcoholism, as well as any other addictive behavior, eventually controls the person, so that their thoughts and behaviors are directed toward using, getting, recovering from, and/or hiding the evidence of drinking. The addict does not feel good about himself, and to a great degree, this perpetuates their continued use of the substance in order to dull the emotional pain. Lying is a common defense mechanism and used to avoid responsibility. Denial of having a problem is not lying but rather being utterly deceived. Our body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, if we are followers of Christ (1 Corinthians 6:19-20). Jesus warns against the abuse of alcohol (Luke 21:34). The Bible paints a sad picture of the drunkard (Proverbs 23:29-35). Alcohol causes us to lose our moral judgment and do things we may not normally do (Isaiah 28:7-8). The Bible also says that the drunkard will not enter heaven (2 Corinthians 6:9-10). We should not associate with drunkards, particularly if you have had problems with alcohol (Proverbs 23:19-20; 1 Corinthians 5:11). The good news is that anyone can be saved and set free from alcoholism (1 Corinthians 6:11). Not only is the addict affected by the use, but family members and others who care about the individual are also hurt. Others may try and rescue the individual, prevent them from using, excuse their behavior, and other responses. The family members and loved ones will need support and counsel to learn how to interrupt their own dysfunctional cycle of behavior patterns, and they will need to work through grief and forgiveness issues as well.
FOR THE ALCOHOLIC 1. Be willing to discuss with them why they have called. What are they looking for? 2. Discuss with them how their addictive behaviors have hurt themselves and others. What have been the consequences of drinking? 3. Discuss with them what happens when they have tried to stop drinking. Particularly, ask about any physical withdrawal symptoms. 4. Have they ever entered treatment? Would they be interested in doing this? 5. Share the Gospel. 6. Connect them with a local church. 7. Encourage them to speak with Stand Firm staff, at least over the phone, about treatment options. 8. Pray with them about their need for conviction and the grace and forgiveness of our Lord.
FOR THE FAMILY OR LOVED ONE 1. Hold the individual accountable by not making excuses for their behavior. 2. Do not blame yourself for their choices. 3. Share the Gospel. 4. Pray with them, focusing on God working in their own life, apart from the alcoholic. 5. Remind them that God has a purpose in working in their own life. God is interested in how they will respond to this circumstance. Will they respond with their own motives and goals and strength, or will they depend on Gods grace to see them through and to see what needs to change in them. 6. Reassure them that even if the alcoholic does not change, God wants to do a work in their own life. 7. Connect them to a local church.
1 Corinthians 6:15, 19-20 1 Corinthians 10:13 2 Corinthians 5:17 2 Corinthians 2:14 1 John 1:8-9 Matthew 11:28 John 3:16 Romans 12:1-2 Romans 14:11-12 Galatians 5:22-23 Proverbs 28:13 Isaiah 26:3 John 8:36 Luke 21:34 Proverbs 21:17 Proverbs 23:19-35
ANGER
Anger is useful and natural when it is consistent with Gods Word. However, when it explodes into rage or harmful words and behaviors it is sin. If not expressed appropriately, it becomes resentment and bitterness, also sins. Many live in bondage to anger, believing they are justified in remaining angry. Initially, anger is an involuntary reaction to something. To remain angry requires a consistent pattern of choices, and a stubborn attitude to remain that way. Often, the harboring of anger stems from a desire to be right which is also a by-product of pride. We may contend that our rights have been violated and we have a right to remain angry, and to demand justice. By all means, my friends, we really do not want justice. For if justice is all there were, we would still be hopelessly lost and separated from God. No, what we really want is mercy. And in Him, such is found. As Christians, we must realize that our rights are in Christ. He is our life (Col. 3:3). My life is not my own (1 Cor. 6:19) It is not for us to demand that we be treated a particular way. If Christ had demanded His rights, He would not have gone to the cross. It is true that the standards established by Christ in the Sermon on the Mount, such as, whoever is angry with his brother shall be guilty before the court (Matthew 5:22), and love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you (Matthew 5:44), surpass even those of the Ten Commandments. The Lord would never ask us to do something that cannot be done. We say, But I cannot live out those standards perfectly. How true, indeed, and thus we find ourselves at the end of us, and at the place where our Lord may live perfectly through us. Our decision at that point is simply to yield to Him. Think about when we get angry. Arent we insisting, My will be done; my kingdom come? And when things don't go our way, dont we judge those (including God) who are not doing what we want, as if we were God? We arent, but when we are angry, we often act as if we were. Because our wrong anger has to do with our relationship with God, we cant deal with it by learning a few strategies or techniques. Wrong anger creates a big problem between us and God. He doesnt like upstarts who try to take over His universe. Our anger is not just about us and all the frustrating things that happen to us. Its not just about us and our cranky, oppositional personality. And its not just about us and all the unreasonable people in our life. Its about us, those frustrating circumstances, all those unreasonable people and the living God. Its about us acting like we are in charge of Gods world and other people. But God is in charge. James 4 is a wonderfully challenging and convicting chapter about where wrong anger comes from, and what we can do in response to it and turn to God. Ephesians 4:29-5:2 describes how to let go of wrong anger and also how to express anger that is just: Let no unwholesome word proceed from your mouth, but only such a word as is good for edification, according to the need of the moment, so that it will give grace to those who hear. Do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God in Christ has also forgiven you. Therefore be imitators of God, as beloved children; and walk in love, just as Christ also loved you and gave Himself up for us, an offering and a sacrifice to God as a fragrant aroma.
1. Share the Gospel. 2. Discuss with them what angers them. Do not allow them to vent for a prolonged period of time. You just want to get a sense of their heart about the matter. 3. Ask them how they feel about being angry. Would they like to move past it? Do they think they are angrier than what might be appropriate for the situation? How long do they feel they should be angry? 4. Consider how the inappropriate expression of anger harms self and others. 5. Discuss the role of pride in anger. It says, My will be done, I am right. 6. Consider the Forgiveness topic in this manual. 7. Pray with them about the issue. Especially focus on their response to the situation and ask God to work in this area of their life. 8. Connect them to a local church. 9. Refer to Stand Firm counseling if appropriate. 10. Discuss what Scripture says. Review with the caller the attitudes called for in Scripture, and the consequences of resentment. Review the Scripture portion of this topic. 11. Use R.E.S.T.O.R.E. model if appropriate. 12. Live by the Spirit. (Galatians 5:16)
Sin is crouching at your door. (Cain and Abel Gen. 4:1-16, especially vs. 6-7 which emphasizes the opportunity sin has when there is unresolved anger) Love keeps no record of wrongs. (1 Cor. 13: 4-6) Get rid of all bitterness, rage, and anger(Ephesians 4:31-32) Forgive (Matthew 6:14-15) Bless those who persecute you. (Romans 12:14-19) Let the peace of Christ rule (Colossians 3:8,12-15) Be slow to anger (Prov. 14:17, 29; James 1:19-20) Overcome through the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-25) James 4 Ephesians 4:29-5:2
ANXIETY, WORRY, FEAR

Anxiety is a feeling of fear without any known object. Fear is an emotional response to an identifiable object that we perceive has power to harm us. Worry is a thought pattern characterized by anticipating a negative future outcome. Each of these alerts us to address a particular problem. They are like warning lights in a vehicle that tell us something is wrong and needs our attention. If unattended, more severe problems will develop. Our trouble is complicated by the faith we place in these emotions. When we experience them, we often conclude that we must change something in our environment, or we ourselves must move away from something, in order to eliminate the feelings. However, what we must understand that our emotions must not be relied upon in the same way facts are. An emotion is my response to what I believe about something. Emotions are not facts in themselves. For example, I know something to be true and so I may subsequently experience an emotion about it. What is not reliable is when I have a particular emotion about something, and then conclude something to be true because of that emotion. FEAR Fear is only legitimate if the object is present, and I believe it has the power to harm me. I can eliminate fear by removing either its presence, or its power. For example, if my boss is a source of fear for me, I can quit my job. I eliminate that fear by never seeing him/her again. However, this may not be feasible because I really need that job, and especially if I have an established pattern of quitting. Perhaps the best option is to eliminate the power my boss has to produce fear in me. How can I do this? No one can have power over me unless I give it to them. What do I fear about the boss? That he will fire me? Yell at me? Embarrass me? Not be pleased with me? If ultimately my security is in having the job, the acceptance of my boss, being seen as significant an important, then I have given power to my boss to control my emotions based on how he/she treats me that particular day. But, if I realize the security of my God, the power of the Holy Spirit within me, and I accept that the Lord has plans for me, I no longer have to fear that boss. I remove the fear in my life by claiming the security that I have in Christ. ANXIETY AND WORRY These feelings have more to do with a sense of helplessness, lack of control, and uncertainty about the future. We often anticipate what may happen, and as a result attempt to influence the future, the reactions of others, the opinions of others, the behavior of others, or the outcomes we hope for. We may become deceived that we can in some affect future outcomes through repetitious behaviors, rituals, etc. We may attempt to reduce the intensity of these feelings by engaging in distracting behaviors, avoidance, or compulsive behaviors. There is a comfort in seeing our circumstances realistically, and resting in the Lord and His sovereignty.
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1. Discuss the reasons for their feelings. Do not go far into the nature of their feelings. Just attempt to get a sense of the issue, demonstrate care and concern, and then look for a way to share the Gospel. 2. Share the Gospel. 3. Encourage them through Gods word. (Psalm 42:5, and other scripture below) 4. You may ask them to answer these questions to help determine the heart of their anxiety: I need ______. I want _______. I dont want ________. 5. Remind them the Lord is near and He can be trusted and called upon (Psalm 94:19; Philippians 4:5-7) 6. Pray with them. Help them make their request known before God (Philippians 4:6) 7. Practice what you can do today. God knows the big picture, and calls us to be obedient and trust in Him. God is calling us to make steps of faith in Him, not to solve the problems. For example, perhaps you are anxious about finding a job. This is Gods problem to sole, but yours to be obedient in, such as being diligent to seek work, being a good worker, praying for opportunities. 8. Your troubles do not rest on your shoulders. You are living in a really big, confusing world where there is trouble, but you are in a relationship with an even bigger God who is in charge of His world. He has a purpose for you in every situation where there is trouble: God is calling you to be constructive in a very small corner of His world. 9. Connect them to a local church. 10. Refer for Stand Firm counseling if appropriate.
2 Timothy 1:7 Romans 8:15 Matthew 10:28-30 Psalm 56:10-11 Hebrews 13:5-6 Psalm 94:19 Matthew 6:25-34 1 Peter 5: 6-7 Proverbs 12:25, 14:40, 17:22 Philippians 4:5-7 Psalm 37 Psalm 42:5 Psalm 34:4
ASSURANCE
Assurance of salvation is the awareness that you belong to Christ and have everlasting life. This assurance is based on facts from the Bible, and faith in them. If we do not believe the Bible is factual and contains promises from the Lord, then our faith will be lacking. In that case, how can we have faith in something we are not sure of? We wont. Instead we will wax and wane and our feelings will guide us. Today, I dont feel saved, but yesterday I did. The Bible says that the Lord wants us to know where we stand with salvation, and that we can know (1 John 5:13). Without assurance, we are not free to experience the joy of salvation. This can also lead to a legalistic form of behavior in which we try to please God, or keep Him happy, or try and live a good life to impress God. Of course, if we were not saved, these works will not save us but instead would further condemn us. If we are saved, this works mentality would serve to frustrate us and we would be miserable. We are saved by Gods grace (unmerited favor) and our faith in that, and by absolutely nothing we have or ever could do. His grace saves us and keeps us. Why we may not have assurance: NOT BEING SAVED We need to make sure we have settled this matter in our heart. We may be struggling with assurance because we have not trusted in Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior. Many people have been deceived and misled as to what this means. It is not just believing there is a God, Jesus, etc. James 2:19 says the demons believe and tremble. However, there will be no demons in heaven! Romans 10:9 tells us what we need to know about how to be saved, If you confess with your mouth Jesus as Lord, and believe in your heart that God raised Him from the dead, you shall be saved. TRUSTING FEELINGS RATHER THAN FACTS Feelings are not sustainable, and were never intended to reflect facts. So many factors affect the state of emotions. Facts do not change. The Bible, Gods Word does not change. We must be aware that our feelings are not a reflection of the fact of our salvation. SIN AND DISOBEDIENCE Confession of sin is necessary in order to keep fellowship with God. When this fellowship is broken, our salvation (position) is still intact, but our experience of it is uncertain. We must acknowledge and confess sin daily to maintain this fellowship.
1. Share the Gospel. 2. Reassure them that having doubts does not mean they are not saved. However, share with them the importance of settling this matter of salvation once and for all. 3. Connect them to a local church. 4. Pray with them for assurance. Pray with them through the confession of sins. 5. Discuss the importance of acknowledging and confessing sin daily before God. 6. Encourage daily bible study and prayer. 7. Assure them that are emotions are not based on facts and can deceive us.
Job 19:25-27 Romans 8:16-17 I John 4:13-16 I John 5:13 2 Timothy 1:12 1 John 3:1-3 1 Peter 1:3-5
COMPULSIVE BEHAVIORS (Bad Habits)

Examples: sex, gambling, excessive shopping, excessive exercising, pornography, drug use, eating disorder behaviors, swearing, smoking, excessive working, excessive exercise, masturbation, fantasy thoughts, gossip, lying. For a behavior to be classified as compulsive, it occurs more often than the individual finds desirable. This is often the case as evidenced by the guilt or remorse that follows such episodes. A second aspect is one in which the individual feels compelled, or as though they must, engage in the behavior. This indicates a frequent obsessive thought pattern present prior to the behavior. This pattern of behavior is very much like the cycle of behavior exhibited among those addicted to substances. TRIGGERSomething causes the individual to think about the behavior. This could include something seen, heard, smelled, an emotion, a memory, etc.
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THOUGHT-
The individual thinks about the behavior. The longer they allow themselves to think about it, the more preoccupied they are, and the more likely they will fantasize about or embellish the behavior. Once the individual thinks long enough about the behavior, they begin to experience physical and emotional reactions that include tension, restlessness, irritability, distraction, etc. At this point, they feel as though they must act on the thoughts. They are irrational and anything standing in the way of the behavior will likely be the target of anger.
CRAVING-
BEHAVIOR- The individual then engages in the behavior. Long before the individual actually engages in the behavior, they have committed to do it. A battle in their thought-life is lost, no matter how much will or determination may have been present initially. The process must be interrupted in the Trigger and Thought stages to be successful. One must know what their triggers are, how to avoid them, and what to do if encountering them. Once at the point of craving, the individual is most likely going to engage in the behavior. It should be recognized that the compulsive behavior problem is an expression of how I have made that behavior my god. In other words, we practically worship this behavior, drug, person, etc. This now is the root problem, the heart problem. Now I have all kinds of physical or emotional baggage because of the behaviors, and these have to be addressed (detox, withdrawals, headaches, irritability, etc.) but ultimately, my heart must be changed. I must give up my idols, humble myself and repent before God, and surrender to Him as lord of my life.
1. Help the caller identify the behaviors. 2. Share the Gospel. 3. Use the R.E.S.T.O.R.E. This must include acknowledging having made the behavior, drug, person, etc., as a god in their life, and making a decision to give up the idol thoroughly by submitting to God, and allowing Him to destroy it. 4. Pray with them. Use Psalm 139: 23-24 to ask that the Lord reveal to them the areas of their heart that need changing. 5. Refer to StandFirm counseling if desired. 6. Connect to a local church and church ministry. 7. Assure them that they are not alone in their struggle. Ask them about their attempts in the past to overcome their compulsive behaviors. 8. Explain how the Lord waits for us to yield our problems to Him. This problem is not their problem to solve, and they cannot do it. Any attempt to gain control of a problem on our own is relying on the flesh, which is by nature weak and not spiritual. It will continue to exalt me as god.
Philippians 2:13-15 Psalm 119:11 James 4:7-8 Ephesians 6:10-11 Genesis 4:7 Lamentations 3:21-23- His mercies are new every morning.
DEATH
The idea of death can certainly be an intimidating one. Death is to be viewed from two perspectives: spiritual and physical. SPIRITUAL DEATH Since the moment that Adam and Eve ate of the forbidden fruit, there has been spiritual death. God told them that if they ate from that particular tree they would die (Genesis 2:17). This resulted in separation for God. God, being holy and perfect, cannot fellowship with sin. The price for this sin was separation for God, resulting in death, meaning eternal separation from God in Hell (Romans 6:23). The Bible also explained that through the disobedience of Adam, sin entered into the world, and that death entered the world through sin, the death we just discussed. Now this death we are speaking of then spread to all men, because all of man has sinned (Romans 5:12). But even so, God has made a way for us to be reconciled back to Him, and this came through the death of his son Jesus, who lived the perfect and obedient life on earth and then paid the death penalty for us who believe. So through Adams disobedience, we were all made sinners, through Christs obedience, as many as believe can be made righteous (Romans 5:19). PHYSICAL DEATH For the believer, the spirit enters immediately into the presence of the Lord (2 Corinthians 5:8). The relationship with Christ is not interrupted during the transition from earth to Heaven; it is enhanced and enriched. Though our spirit is in Heaven at the time of death, our physical body remains on earth and returns to dust. At the second coming of Christ, our bodies will be resurrected and we will be given new bodies. These bodies will be spiritual, permanent, and glorious (I Corinthians 15:49, 51-58; Philippians 3:20-21; Colossians 3:4; I John 3:2).
1. Share the Gospel. 2. Discuss with them what has them thinking about death. Assure them it is very appropriate to thing about eternity after death, and to make certain they know where they will spend eternity. 3. Encourage them from the summary and scripture references. 4. Reference the section in this manual on Grief if needed.
Psalm 23:4, 6 Philippians 1:21-25 Psalm 116:15 Revelation 14:13 I Thessalonians 4:13-18 2 Corinthians 5:1-8 Romans 4:8 John 14:1-4 John 11:17-26 1 Corinthians 15:50-57 Romans 8:16-17 Romans 8:35-39 2 Samuel 12:18-23
DEPRESSION
Depression can be a reaction to circumstances in our life that saddens us. It can also be associated with medical problems. Depression can begin as the emotional response to circumstances, however, over a prolonged period, it can impact the manner in which neurotransmitters work in the brain, causing dysfunction and a resulting physical depression. This physical depression may benefit from medication to help correct chemical imbalances that are contributed to depression. Medication treatment should always be accompanied by counseling. Counseling allows for continues evaluation of the condition, an opportunity to learn how the person may be contributing to the depression through though and behavior patterns, and it lends itself to support and encouragement. Generally, depression is a state in which symptoms are experienced most every day for a consecutive 2-week period. People suffering from mild depression usually recover in a short period of time. However, the more intense the depression and the more isolated the person, the longer the process of recovery. It is one of the most common emotional problems people experience. One should be mindful that unconfessed sin may be a primary contributor to depression. Initially, sin should produce guilt in us that would lead us to recognize our sin, confess and repent of it, and restore our fellowship with God. For the believer, sin should produce a sorrow according to the will of God that leads us to repentance (2 Corinthians 7:9-10). This sorrow is also true of unbelievers who are being convicted by the Holy Spirit to confess and repent of sin, accept Christ as Savior and receive salvation. As believers, our heart and conscience should be so sensitive to sin and its offensiveness to God, that we are brought to sorrow over each occasion of it in our lives. We should be pierced with the acknowledgement of our sin against God, and we should have the eagerness to run to Him, fall before Him, and express our sorrow to Him and receive forgiveness. Only God can heal this sorrow as He forgives us. For the unbeliever, the sorrow leads the person to realization of their separation from God, the eternal damnation of their present condition, and the willingness to surrender to Christ. Symptoms: Physical- Difficulty sleeping or staying awake, poor energy, loss of appetite/weight, loss of sexual desire Thoughts- Poor concentration, poor memory, excessive self-criticism, suicidal thoughts Emotional- Hopelessness, helplessness, despair, frequent crying, irritability, persistent sadness Behavior- Slowed movements, not completing tasks, disorganized, isolation Causes: Unconfessed sin Grief and loss Medical problems Self-defeating Consequences of poor decisions and sin (Psalm 32:3-4) Not trusting God completely in all circumstances Unrealistic standards or expectations of self and others
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1. Help the caller understand the nature/cause of the depression. 2. Ask about Salvation. Share the Gospel. Establish if they have ever made a profession of faith in Christ, or if they need assurance of their salvation. 3. If due to unresolved sin, disobedience, turning away from God, guide them through: 4. If due to loss of loved one, health, employment, etc: Reassure them they are not alone in their suffering; God is with them. (Isaiah 53:45) Recommend a church support group or individual follow-up if they desire Encourage further prayer and Bible study
Depression due to guilt Genesis 4:6-7 Unconfessed sin Psalm 32:3-4 Relief through confession Psalm 32: 1,2,5; Psalm 51 Hope is in God Psalm 42 Isaiah 40 2 Corinthians 4:8-9
DISAPPOINTMENTS
We all experience disappointments in this life. Many of them come at the hands of others, and there is little we can do to prevent them. Many times, believers may allow these disappointments to create doubts about God, about His character and nature. These doubts, if dealt with directly, can lead to a more enriched understanding and relationship with the Lord. Satan can use these opportunities, however, to cause the believer to pull away from the Lord, and from spiritual practices such as Bible reading/study, prayer and Christian fellowship. The opposite of any doubts caused by disappointment is faith. Coming through these experiences should strengthen our resolve to depend on the Lord. Many times our disappointments come as the result of our expectations. We may believe things should or will be a particular way, or that we deserve to be treated in a particular manner, and that we should receive this thing or that thing. Where do we get these expectations? Generally, they come from pride and a degree of comfort we have grown accustomed to in having things the same way as they have always been. This can be viewed as generated from the flesh in that we still have a tendency toward fleshly gratification. We must be willing to identify those desires and expectations that are generated from the flesh, and we must not set our mind on them. As followers of Christ, we have the Holy Spirit in us, so that we do not have to give in to the lusts of the flesh. We are to set our mind on things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of the Father (Colossians 3:1-2). What we have today is what God has blessed us with out of His love and grace. We are not promised tomorrow, nor are we promised that things will always be a particular way. Our best method for managing disappointment is to acknowledge the Lord as sovereign, gracious, and loving, and that it is Him at work in us to will and to work according to His good pleasure (Philippians 2:13). Paul said he had learned to be content in whatever circumstances he was in (Philippians 4:11), and so must we. If we would stand firm in our faith that our God is sovereign, in control, and is working all things for our good, then our disappointments would pale in comparison to the riches we will receive in a deeper faith and love for Him.
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1. Share the Gospel. 2. Review the summary above with the caller. 3. Pray with them regarding their reaction to disappointment and that they would seek to draw near to the Lord. 4. Connect them to a local church. 5. Reassure them that the Lord is sovereign, and that through this disappointment can come a greater understanding of His character. 6. Encourage Bible study and prayer. 7. Direct them to focus on their reaction to the disappointment, how it may be selfish rather than dependent on Gods grace.
Philippians 2:13 James 1:5-6 Acts 27:25 Romans 8:38-39 Psalm 23 John 20:29 Hebrews 12:1-2
DIVORCE
Gods plan for marriage did not include divorce. It results in great consequence to all involved, whether directly or indirectly. The result of divorce is to displease God, create emotional trauma for many involved, disrupts the life of children, and generally creates new problems. Divorce occurs as the result of sin. Both spouses tend to carry some blame. Pride is very often a contributing factor to a divorce being sought. Generally, divorce is a selfish solution. Divorce is acknowledging that you no longer intend to honor youre their commitment to marriage. Today, divorce is often considered as an option before the marriage ceremony takes place. Some believe that they can divorce if it just doesnt work out. The Bible says that the husband and wife are bound together until death (Romans 7:1-3). When trouble arises in the marriage, a believing spouse must seek reconciliation (Romans 12:18). There are conditions whereby divorce may be permitted: When a spouse is guilty of sexual immorality and has no intention of reconciling or living faithfully in the marriage (Matthew 19:3-9) When one spouse abandons the other, especially when an unbelieving spouse leaves the marriage (1Corinthians 7:15) A believing spouse may not initiate a divorce from an unbelieving spouse (1 Corinthians 7:1016). It is important for the spouse to lean on God and not on their own understanding. They should seek to understand that God is interested in their reaction to what their spouse is doing, and that He wants to do a work in their life in this manner. When each spouse can focus on their own issues and each turn to God to be dealt with as individuals, God may do miraculous things. Many marriages have been saved when one spouse refused to divorce. This often requires a great deal of patience, dependence upon God, and a humble willingness to allow God to work in their life. The marriage belongs to God, and he will deal with it and shape it according the intentions of His good pleasure, but we must surrender this to Him.
CONSIDERING DIVORCE 1. Reaffirm their decision to call. 2. Remain non-judgmental and supportive. Listen to what the caller has to say about the circumstances of the marriage. 3. Ask why divorce is being considered. 4. Offer encouragement as to how one person can work to save a marriage, and that God can honor and use that. 5. Discuss the importance of using the will and choices to stay, regardless of feelings. 6. Share the Gospel. 7. Connect to a local church. 8. Focus them away from continued talk about the other spouse. Help them discuss their own reaction to the situation. This is what God is interested in personally with them. 9. Pray with them about their reaction, feelings, thoughts, and choices, and that they will remain faithful to honor the marriage. PAST DIVORCE 1. Remind them of Gods forgiveness if they are repentant. 2. Share the Gospel. 3. Connect them to a local church. 4. Listen for any bitterness or resentment, and guide them through prayer regarding healing in this area. 5. Encourage them in their Bible study and prayer life to seek God with a renewed dependence.
Malachi 2:13-16 Matthew 5:31-32; 5:23-24; 18:21-22; 19:3-9 Romans 7:1-3; 12:18 Deuteronomy 24:1-4 1 Corinthians 7:10-1
DOMESTIC ABUSE
This type of abuse may present in various ways: verbal, emotional, physical, and sexual. The abuse may be occurring now, or may have happened in childhood. Anyone can be the victim of abuse. It is extremely difficult for someone to tell another person that they have been abused. Sometimes the abuser threatened the victim with further abuse or even death, or they may have threatened to harm others. Abuse may be perpetrated by the following means: Physical Verbal Emotional Sexual The abuser is usually characterized as manipulative, can be charming, and convincing. They use abusive behaviors as a means of exerting power and control. They may demonstrate remorse after an episode of abuse, but typically engage in the abuse again over a period of time. They may use gifts or behaviors to try and demonstrate to the victim that they are sorry, and to convince them to stay. If the victim does not accept these attempts, the abuser may be provoked to engage in abusive behavior again. The victim is usually characterized with low self-esteem and confidence, feelings of shame, and feelings of depression and anxiety. If they leave the relationship, they are vulnerable to return to it, particularly if they have been in the relationship for a significant period of time. This is usually because the abuser has convinced the victim they are incapable of living without them.
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In the book of Genesis, a woman named Hagar and her young son, were unfairly sent from their home and left in the wilderness to die. She turned her back on her son so she wouldnt have to watch him die, and they both wept. They thought they were utterly alone, but God heard the lad crying, and the angel of God called to Hagar from heaven and said to her, What is the matter with you, Hagar? Do not fear, for God has heard the voice of the lad where he is. Arise! Lift up the lad, and hold him by his hand, for I will make a great nation of him (Genesis 21:17, 18). Like a mother who wakes at the sound of her childs tears, God is sensitive to hear us. Gods listening is accompanied by action, even though we may not see the action or where it is occurring, we can know that He acts. Jesus was tortured and abused more than anyone. He is alive today, understands our pain and suffering, and in Him we can receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need (Hebrews 4:14-16).

1. Reassure the caller they were right to make the call. 2. Share the Gospel. 3. Help them talk about the abuse with you. Ask questions and listen. Do not make judgment statements about the victim of the abuser. 4. Explain to the caller they do not deserve the abuse, nor do they have to remain in it. Talk with them about options, shelters, other family members, etc. They should take refuge if necessary. 5. Jesus understands. He also was abused verbally and physically. 6. Discuss plans and resources for support: housing, friends and family, counseling. 7. Encourage them not to let their shame or guilt paralyze them. 8. James 4:1-2 and James 1:13-15 will show you that the abuser is only concerned with their own selfish desires at the time. Do not be deceived into believing them or blaming yourself. 9. Separating from the danger, even for an extended time, is not divorcing. It may provide the survival as well as the time needed for change to be brought about in the heart of the marriage.
1 Peter 5: 6-7 Psalm 91:1-2; 34:4-5 Psalm 23 Psalm 103:8-18 Philippians 4:6-7 Romans 8:18 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 Psalm 73 James 4
FAITH
Faith is said to be the end of any attempt to earn Gods favor through personal merit. This means we rest completely in the facts of the Bible by taking what it says to be true. Do we always feel like it is all true? Not me, and probably not you either. Our feelings or emotions lie to us all the time. Feelings are generated from the heart of an imperfect person, who has selfish motives, a collection of past experiences, and particular goals to be accomplished. Not to mention how they are influenced by events occurring throughout the day, my physical condition at the time, and other factors. This is true of each of us. We have our moods. Faith is also not based on works. Is my faith in the Lord or in me? When I rest on my works to earn favor with God, then I doubt His promises, and I have faith that some of my works can help the Lord to keep me. Roans 4:4-5 says that God credits righteousness to those who believe apart from works. Works is a product of having faith, and not a means of earning favor with God. I will act according to my faith. A shallow faith leads to a lack of seeking the things of the Lord. A great faith is exemplified by following consistently and persistently after the Lord. Salvation comes by grace through faith (Ephesians 2:8-9). Saving faith is more than a knowledge or belief that God exist, or that the things in the Bible are true. James 2:19 says that the demons also believe. In fact, they have a greater awareness of the Lord than we do. But this is head knowledge on their part. Faith in the Lord involves humbly admitting our sinfulness, acknowledging Jesus death, burial and resurrection for us, and trusting that what Jesus did was for us was enough. We must acknowledge that we cannot add even .000001% of works on our own to what Christ did in order to receive eternal life. Saving faith is trusting totally in the finished work of Christ. Daily, we exercise faith even further by trusting our Sovereign Lord as He deals with us through the circumstances of our life, to make us more like Him.
1. Share the Gospel. 2. Listen and then offer encouragement that they can trust the Lord and what the Bible says. 3. Redirect them to focus on their own thoughts, actions, and how they have not demonstrated faith. Discuss how they can make the decision to start trusting the Lord anew today. 4. Connect to a local church.
Hebrews 11:1, 6 Romans 10:17 Ephesians 2:8-9 Romans 14:23 Hebrews 3:12 Matthew 17:20 James 5:15 Proverbs 3:5-6 I Corinthians 15:58 Mark 11:22 1 Peter 1:6-9
FORGIVENESS
Forgiveness can be addressed in three aspects: Gods forgiveness Forgiveness of others Self-forgiveness GODS FORGIVENESS God offers forgiveness for our sins, but we must first admit that we have sinned. We must acknowledge and accept that Christ paid the price for our sins in His death on the cross, and that in our confession and repentance of our sin, we will be forgiven. God forgiveness is complete and total and forgotten (Jeremiah 31:34). His forgiveness results in reconciliation, and are sins are not counted against us (2 Corinthians 5:19). His forgiveness results in purification, and we are then restored to our original standing before God (Psalm 51:7). His forgiveness also results in no condemnation against us (Romans 8:1-2) and He will not hold that sin against us; it no longer be charged against us. Without Gods forgiveness, we are held accountable to the standard of the Law, the Commandments, with any violation of them resulting in death and eternal separation from God. Gods forgiveness is offered through His son Jesus Christ and what he has already done, not anything we can do or earn. FORGIVENESS OF OTHERS Not forgiving others who have hurt us is sin. If continued, it will turn into bitterness, resentment, and other problems. The Bible says to put away bitterness (Ephesians 4:31) and to not let any bitter root grow in us (Hebrews 12:15). Bitterness stems from a sinful nature (Galatians 5:19) and is not a fruit of the Spirit. Bitterness and unforgiveness sets the individual as judge of another, and we are not to be the judge of others. Matthew 7:3-5 instructs us to take care of our own sin rather than looking at that we which we believe to be wrong in another. If not addressed, bitterness and unforgiveness will lead to destructive behaviors. For Cain, it led to the murder of his brother Abel (Genesis 4:3-8). For Josephs brothers, it led to hatred and selling him (Genesis 37). The Bible says this type of anger is regarded as murder (Matthew 5:21-26). SELF- FORGIVENESS One of the most difficult things for us to do at times is to forgive ourselves. If we have confesses, repented, and God has forgiven us, then to not forgive ourselves is sin. It reflects unbelief in Gods forgiveness, and doubt as to Gods Word. We need to rest in the facts of the Word and that forget what is behind us (Philippians 3:13-14).
1. Share the Gospel. 2. Pray with them about forgiveness with self, of others, and from God. Reassure them of what the Bible says by discussing the summary and the scriptures listed. 3. You may empathize briefly with the person regarding what may have happened to them, but remember to get the focus back to the caller. Reassure them God is in control. Remind them He wants to work in their own life, and this opportunity is the very situation in which He wants to work. 4. Share the importance of forgiveness of others as a means of understanding the depths to which God loves us to forgive us as He has. 5. Connect them to a local church.
Ephesians 4:31 Galatians 5:15, 19 Hebrews 12:15 Genesis 37 Genesis 4:3-8 Leviticus 19:17 I John 2:9-11 Proverbs 26:24-26 I John 3:11-20
GRIEF AND LOSS

The typical 5 stages of grief: Denial Anger Bargaining Depression Acceptance Though we most commonly associate death with grief, we must not ignore the other losses that facilitate such a response. Any change in our usual routine, level of comfort, expectations, etc will result in a grief reaction to some degree, some more intense and lengthy than others. These changes need not be considered negative, but may also include those positive changes in our life that require an adjustment, for example, getting married, adult children leaving home or going to college, promotion, retirement, etc. In many cases, what precipitates the grief reaction is a demand on us to redefine our self in some manner. This requires the giving up or letting go of a former identity, and the embracing or identifying with a new reality. The degree to which we acknowledge the need and desire of this change, we will progress through the stages, or we may become stuck. Progressing through the stages requires periods or waves of positive and negative emotions, and struggles between our desires to embrace the new, yet still holding to the old. If not properly managed, the grief reaction can break down along the way, and we can find ourselves stuck somewhere short of acceptance. Depression often results out of an inability or unwillingness to properly move through the anger and depression stages. Perhaps we may have been diagnosed with a medical condition that will likely alter our lifestyle. Or perhaps our finances have changed due to layoffs at work or unemployment. The occasions in our life in which we must respond to change can be numerous, and they can be minimal or monumental. Our Lord has compassion for our suffering due to loss. Know that He Himself was faced with circumstances of loss, out of obedience to the Father because of His great love for us. Can you imagine, leaving the fellowship in Heaven, being born into this world, living in this sinful world, facing the ridicule, beatings and rejection, choosing the Cross and death, experiencing the wrath and separation from God the Father? All this He faced lovingly, for us. He is acquainted with our sorrows and grief. He comforts us. He will live this life through us, if we will surrender and allow it. Could it be we could save ourselves much grief by believing this, and surrendering daily, instead of trying desperately ourselves to soothe the pain or numb reality?
1. The grief process is unpredictable. The process is different for each person and for each episode of grief. 2. Admit you cannot understand exactly how they feel. Even if you have had the same loss in your life, each persons response will be different. 3. Acknowledge you do not understand why or how God does what He does. 4. Ask the caller to tell you about the loss. Be a good listener. Allow them to share without interruption or without instruction from you. 5. Normalize the feelings of the caller. Perhaps, review the grief process stages. 6. Ask if they have ever received Christ as Lord and Savior. Share the Gospel regardless of the answer. 7. Reassure them that God is sovereign, and that He works all things together for good, even when we do not understand how. (Romans 8:28)
Comfort Matthew 5:4 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 Peace Galatians 5:22 Isaiah 26:3 Hope Romans 8:28 Philippians 1:21-23 John 14: 1-6 John 11:25-26
IDENTITY IN CHRIST
Who we are before accepting Christ as Savior: lost, dead, excluded, in the flesh, being without God, and having no hope in this world, destined for Hell eternally. Once we are saved by receiving Christ as our Savior and Lord, we are in Christ: Galatians 2:20: I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I that live but Christ in me; and the life that I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me, and gave Himself up for me. Colossians 3:1-4: (1) Therefore, if you have been raised with Him, keep seeking the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. (2) Set your mind on the things that are above, and not the things on earth. (3) For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ, in God. (4) So when Christ, who is our life, is revealed, then you also will be revealed with Him in glory. 2 Corinthians 5:17: Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation. The old things passed away; behold new things have come. Living the Christian life is one of Christ living through us. It is one of confessing sin and my inability to save myself, accepting Christ as Savior and Lord, surrendering my life to Him, appropriating my identity in Him, and then allowing Christ to live His life through me. What is required of me daily? Confess Repent Acknowledge who I am in Christ Surrender my will to Him Obey in faith
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I am accepted... John 1:12 John 15:15 Romans 5:1 1 Corinthians 6:17 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 1 Corinthians 12:27 Ephesians 1:3-8 Colossians 1:13-14 Colossians 2:9-10 Hebrews 4:14-16 I am God's child. As a disciple, I am a friend of Jesus Christ. I have been justified. I am united with the Lord, and I am one with Him in spirit. I have been bought with a price and I belong to God. I am a member of Christ's body. I have been chosen by God and adopted as His child. I have been redeemed and forgiven of all my sins. I am complete in Christ. I have direct access to the throne of grace through Jesus Christ.
I am secure... Romans 8:1-2 I am free from condemnation. I am assured that God works for my good in all circumstances.
Romans 8:28
I am free from any condemnation brought Romans 8:31against me and I cannot be 39 separated from the love of God. 2 Corinthians 1:21-22 Colossians 3:1-4 Philippians 1:6 Philippians 3:20 I have been established, anointed and sealed by God. I am hidden with Christ in God. I am confident that God will complete the good work He started in me. I am a citizen of heaven.
I have not been given a 2 Timothy 1:7 spirit of fear but of power, love and a sound mind. 1 John 5:18 I am born of God and the evil one cannot touch me.
I am significant... John 15:5 I am a branch of Jesus Christ, the true vine, and a channel of His life. I have been chosen and appointed to bear fruit. I am God's temple. I am a minister of reconciliation for God.
John 15:16 1 Corinthians 3:16 2 Corinthians 5:17-21
I am seated with Jesus Ephesians 2:6 Christ in the heavenly realm. Ephesians 2:10 Ephesians 3:12 Philippians 4:13 I am God's workmanship. I may approach God with freedom and confidence. I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me.
JEALOUSY (Envy)
Not being satisfied or content with what we have comes from comparing ourselves to others. When we perceive that someone else has it better, or when we wish our situation was like theirs, we are treading on dangerous ground. Jealousy is the evidence of a heart that is not right with the Lord. A jealous heart is selfish, contentious with others, boasts in ones self, and sets itself against others. A jealous heart is not content with the provisions of the Lord. It desires to be first place and above others. Satan was jealous of God, and desired to raise himself above Him, and this led to a great fall and being cast from Heaven. Jealousy prevents us from loving others because we cannot genuinely desire good for others when we secretly hope to be better than they are. Jealousy is associated with aggression. It results in planning, fantasizing, and dreaming of what we can do to have this or achieve that. Jealousy sets its object as a god. Whether it is fame, popularity, wealth, power, etc, is raises itself above the place of God; it is sought more than God; it is relied on more than God, If I could justthen I would be content. Fill in the blank with whatever fits, and that is your idol. Cain envied the acceptance that Abel received from God. Instead of repenting, agreeing with God, and responding with obedience, Cain allowed jealousy to overtake him, resulting in the murder of Abel. What did the Lord tell Cain prior to that? If you do well, will not your countenance be lifted up? And if you do not do well, sin is crouching at the door; and its desire is for you, but you must master it. (Genesis 4:7) We are not to let this sin (of jealousy) reign in our mortal bodies (Romans 6:12). Instead we must confess and repent, humble ourselves before the Lord, rest in Him, understand that all we have is from the Lord and that we can be content with it (Philippians 4:12-13).
1. Listen for evidence of envy, jealousy, coveting. Ask questions about this and attempt to understand the nature of it. 2. Ask them to explain what they believe they will have if they get whatever it is they are seeking. 3. Share the Gospel. 4. Reference the Forgiveness section of this manual. 5. Explain that in Christ, we are complete (Colossians 2:9-10). 6. Encourage them to confess and repent the jealousy, being as specific as they can. 7. Pray with them through this confession. Also, pray for them to receive an understanding of Gods love and acceptance of them. 8. Recommend daily Bible study and prayer. 9. Connect them with a local church.
Matthew 6:19-21 Matthew 6:24 Matthew 6:33 Luke 9:46-48 Proverbs 15:16-17
JESUS
JESUS IS GOD Jesus has been preexistent with God the Father and all things were created through Him (John 1:1-3; John 17:5; Colossians 1:17). He is the Son of God (John 5:18; 6:69; 10:30). He was without sin (John 8:46; 1 Peter 2:21-22; 2 Corinthians 5:21). He forgives sin (Mark 2;7; Matthew 9:6; 1 Peter 2:24). He performed miracles (Matthew 8:9-13; Luke 4:31-41; 5:12-15; 7:11-18). JESUS BECAME A MAN His birth was prophesied (Isaiah 7:14) and fulfilled (Luke 1:30-31). As a man, He demonstrated human characteristics such as being tired (John 4:6), thirsty (John 19:28), hungry (Luke 24:4043), was emotional (Mark 6:34; John 11:35), was tempted (Hebrews 4:15), and died (John 19:30). HE COMPLETED THE WORK GOD THE FATHER SENT HIM TO DO He died on the cross which was the purpose for which He came into the world (John 12:27). The meaning of His death was as a ransom to pay the penalty for our sin, to reconcile us to God, and to be our substitute on the cross (Romans 3:24; Romans 5:10; 2 Corinthians 5:18-21; 1 Peter 2:24). His resurrection from the dead had been predicted, and many witnesses saw Him alive (John 20:1-13; Matthew 20:18-19; Luke 24:1-7; Luke 23:55-56). BECAUSE OF HIS WORK He is our eternal mediator (1 Timothy 2:5; Hebrews 8:6; 1 John 2:1), our Savior (Matthew 1:21; Acts 5:31), the only Savior (Acts 4:12), a complete Savior (Hebrews 7:25); and our personal Savior (Romans 10:9-10). FUTURE He will return again to this earth (John 14:3; Acts 1:11; Hebrews 10:37), and believers will be physically resurrected (1 Corinthians 15:51-58; I Thessalonians 4:17-18), and will reign as King and Lord over His new creation (2 Peter 3:10-13; Revelation 22:3-5)
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1. Share the Gospel and connect to a local church. Share the summary.
Reference the above Scriptures in the summary.
LONELINESS
The sense of being alone, without a friend, without someone to confide in, to love and to love us, having no one to share with, all of these contribute to loneliness. God says about Adam that it is not good for man to be alone (Genesis 2:18). The Bible differentiates being alone from loneliness. In many examples, the Bible described Jesus and others going off to be alone for prayer and rest (Mark 1:35; Luke 4:42-43; John 6:15). The Psalms speak of loneliness, often as the result of sin, guilt, and fear. Through various circumstances, we may find ourselves alone unexpectedly. This could occur through divorce, death, moving, etc. Over time, these feelings can develop into depression. Often when lonely, people may develop inaccurate ideas about themselves, such as, No one could love me, Im not as good as others, God could never use me, etc. People may begin to assume certain things about themselves as fact, based on circumstances and emotions. Some prefer loneliness as a means of avoiding potential rejection by others, and they prefer to stay at a distance from others. Still others yearn for companionship and deep relationships to an extent that often scares others away; they are too aggressive in pursuing the relationship. At some point, everyone experiences loneliness. Perhaps a relationship has ended, a friend has moved away, all the kids have left home for college, or a loved one has died, or retirement has brought about a change in activities and exposure to others. Some can experience loneliness even when surrounded by many caring friends and family. God can cure loneliness and He can prevent it, as He did for Adam. God desires relationship with us. In salvation, we receive the Holy Spirit to comfort us, guide us, strengthen us, and as a pledge of Gods covenant with us of eternal life. Once we receive Him, we should have a desire to fellowship with other believers. This would occur in a local church. God expects this of us (Hebrews 10:25). It is also important to consider and pray about how God is orchestrating this time or season of aloneness in your life. I have learned that I can never say with certainty that I know God is dealing with me for a certain specific reason, because just as I speculate about why he is doing something, I will surely be proven wrong, and then surprised by Him. We can be sure that God is in control and for whatever purpose or reason He has allowed or caused this period of aloneness, we can trust that it is for good. So, it is a good time to draw near to Him (James 4:8; Hebrews 4:16), pray (1 Peter 5:6-7; Philippians 4:6-7), rest in Him (Psalm 37:7, 40:1), listen for Him (Job 37:13-15), and ask Him to search you (Psalm 139:23-24).
1. Listen and try to understand the factors that have contributed to loneliness. Is this an ongoing state of being, or a brief encounter brought about by circumstances? Listen for ways they may be blaming others, and focus their attention on themselves and on the Lord. 2. Share the Gospel. Without Christ, our life has no purpose. Our ultimate loneliness is being without Christ and alienated from God. With Christ, we are never alone, and we have peace with God. 3. Pray with them specifically about the factors contributing to the loneliness. Emphasize the Lord, and not the problem. 4. Suggest Bible study and prayer. Encourage them that this reminds us of our Saviors presence and His promises. 5. Encourage them to engage in some form of service, such as, at a shelter or church. This helps them focus on others and not themselves. 6. Review the summary with them. 7. Connect them to a local church.
Hebrews 13:5-6 Matthew 28:20 Psalm 40:1-5 Psalm 23 Colossians 1:21-22 Proverbs 18:24
MARRIAGE
The idea of man and woman was Gods (Genesis 1:27). God said in Genesis 2:2 that it was not good for man to be alone, and so He made a helper for him (Genesis 2:18-22). This was more of an indictment of the man than the woman in that God saw that Adam was insufficient alone and created Eve as a helper and for completeness. Gods plan was that marriage would bring happiness. It commands that a leaving take place. This involves leaving of all other relationships in order to establish the relationship between the man and woman. These other relationships include parents, friends, work, etc. This does not mean to end these relationships, but they must not be priority or first for either person (Genesis 2:24). The husband and wife are to be joined permanently throughout their lifetime.
What makes a good marriage?

1. Love and Respect. Ephesians 5:33 says, Nevertheless, each individual among you also is to love his own wife even as himself, and the wife must see to it that she respects her husband. Although both are to express love and respect, Scripture points out what seems to be what men and women need uniquely, both of which are expressions of a committed love for each other. The wife has a primary desire to experience love from her husband. The husband has a primary desire to experience respect from his wife. When the husband communicates love, this inspires the wife to communicate respect. When the wife communicates respect, this inspires the husband to communicate love. This is the manner in which one spouse can facilitate change in a relationship. 2. Commitment. (Matthew 19:5) Commitment is based out of a decision, and not a feeling. To be committed is to decide, to set your mind on, loving and respecting each other faithfully, regardless of emotions at the time. Christ again is our example, as He will never desert us or forsake us (Hebrews 13:5). This commitment means more than just physically remaining; it includes emotional and behavioral allegiance and investment. In this regard, each person serves the Lord by serving each other. 3. Forgiveness. (Ephesians 4:32) We will be hurt and wronged in our marriage. Our commitment has to be to forgive, and we must be ready to do this. We should not wait until we think our spouse deserves our forgiveness, or until we believe they have suffered enough. We must initiate the forgiveness, even if our spouse has not asked for forgiveness. After all, knowing that we have been forgiven by the Father, in Christ, how can we then withhold forgiveness? (Colossians 3:13). Remember Matthew 18:23-25, the parable of the King wanted to settle debts with his servants. The servant, who had been forgiven, would not in turn forgive the one who owed him. This servant then was judged more harshly. 4. Faith. God created marriage. He needs to be the emphasis in marriage. Christ is our example. Satan comes to steal, kill and destroy anything that may give glory to God. A marriage without God is meaningless.
1. Reaffirm the caller for seeking advice about marriage. 2. Share the Gospel. 3. Encourage the caller to demonstrate Love and Respect as outlined above, regardless of the behavior of the spouse, unless there is risk of physical danger. 4. Listen to understand the problems of the marriage. After understanding the complaints, help the caller focus on their response in the situation, as this is all they can control. 5. Pray with the caller. Emphasize what the caller needs to do. Pray also for the spouse. 6. Encourage the caller to engage in Bible study and apply it to his/her life and marriage. 7. Encourage the caller to pray with and for their spouse. (1 Peter 5:7) 8. Refer to counseling, if appropriate 9. If the caller is the wife, and her husband is not obedient to the Lord, she is still to be submissive with the attitude and respect that may win him to Christ (1 Peter 3:1). 10. Connect to a local church.
Ephesians 5:22-33 Colossians 3:19 1 Peter 3:1-8, 15-16 Genesis 2:18-25 1 Corinthians 7:3-4 Philippians 2:3-5
PARENT-CHILD CONFLICTS
There are many opportunities for conflict between parents and children around issues such as friends, television, homework, clothes, church, discipline, attitude, and others. Some of these conflicts are inevitable, but some can be prevented from developing into critical issues. If unchecked, these conflicts can cripple families. Many problems develop when the parents no longer discipline the child, are inconsistent with discipline, or do not communicate with each other. There are many strategies that can help for specific situations in a family. It may be best to have them speak with a counselor about their specific situation.
1. Parents must agree on the rules and values to be taught and reinforced in the home. 2. Ask if they have based their values and rules in Gods Word. 3. Parents need to pray together alone and with their children. 4. Parents should set an example for their children. 5. Parents should seek to lead their children to Christ. 6. Establish and enforce reasonable rules consistently. 7. Do not discipline with anger. 8. Communicate often. 9. Engage children in play and other activities. 10. Lead children in devotions. 11. Remember that our children belong first to God. 12. Examine your motives when disciplining. Am I disciplining because I have been inconvenienced or because they have sinned against God? 13. Make sure not to provoke your child. 14. Choose the right time and place without embarrassing them. 15. Choose the right words. Use biblical terms and not worldly ones. For example, do not replace lying with telling a fib, or disrespectful with acting ugly. (Hebrews 4:12) 16. Use the right tone of voice (Proverbs 15:1). There is no need in yelling. In fact, try softening your voice when disciplining as it may help you stay in control. 17. Be prepared to teach them what the Bible instructs them to do. Dont just tell them what not to do (sinfulness), but train them in what to do (righteousness). (Ephesians 4:22-23)
Psalm 127:3-5 Proverbs 22:6
Colossians 3:21 Ephesians 6:4
Deuteronomy 12:28 Deuteronomy 6:7
STRESS
Stress is a normal physical response to events that make you feel threatened or upset your balance in some way. When you sense danger whether its real or imagined the body's defenses step into high gear in a rapid, automatic process known as the fight-or-flight reaction, or the stress response. The stress response is the bodys way of protecting you. When working properly, it helps you stay focused, energetic, and alert. In emergency situations, stress can save your life giving you extra strength to defend yourself, for example, or spurring you to slam on the brakes to avoid an accident. The stress response also helps you rise to meet challenges. Stress is what keeps you on your toes during a presentation at work, sharpens your concentration when youre attempting the gamewinning free throw, or drives you to study for an exam when you'd rather be watching TV. But beyond a certain point, stress stops being helpful and starts causing major damage to your health, your mood, your productivity, your relationships, and your quality of life. It is indicative of a pattern of worry, anxiety, fear, need for control, etc. These things exemplify a life with self as the focus rather than Christ. The body doesnt distinguish between physical and psychological threats. When youre stressed over a busy schedule, an argument with a friend, a traffic jam, or a mountain of bills, your body reacts just as strongly as if you were facing a life-or-death situation. If you have a lot of responsibilities and worries, your emergency stress response may be on most of the time. The more your bodys stress system is activated, the easier it is to trip and the harder it is to shut off. Long-term exposure to stress can lead to serious health problems. Chronic stress disrupts nearly every system in your body. It can raise blood pressure, suppress the immune system, increase the risk of heart attack and stroke, contribute to infertility, and speed up the aging process. Longterm stress can even rewire the brain, leaving you more vulnerable to anxiety and depression.
1. Help the caller discover the nature of the stress. Focus on their reaction or response to any situations they mention. 2. Share the Gospel. 3. Inquire about daily prayer and Bible study. Any lack of effort here creates problems. 4. Discuss priorities. Share what Scripture says about this. (Phil. 4:11-13; Matt. 6:24, 33; Luke 9:46-48; Prov. 15:16-17; 30:8-9) 5. Connect with a local church.
Phil. 4:6, 13, 19 Matt. 6:33-34; 1Peter 5:7; Psalm 34:4; Psalm 42:5
SUICIDE
In cases where the caller states that he is having thoughts of suicide or homicide, specific steps should be taken to secure the life of the caller and others. Unfortunately, there will be times when a caller expresses these thoughts. Suicidal thoughts will be expressed more often than homicidal thoughts on the average. Threats should be taken seriously. Suicidal thoughts or threats reflect desperation on the part of the caller. They may be at a place of hopelessness. A person who has genuinely reached a place of hopelessness in which they realize there is nothing they can do to improve themselves or their circumstances, is at a prime place to acknowledge and understand their need for a Savior. We will be able to play a role of offering hope.
1. Ask the caller what event has led him/her to have these thoughts; what happened 2. Ask them if they have a plan, means, and intent for carrying out these thoughts; how do they plan to do it? 3. As best you can, try and calmly get them to give their name and/or address, and phone number 4. Reassure the caller that you take these thoughts seriously and that you are concerned for their welfare. Attempt to discuss with them that having thoughts does not mean they must act on them, but is a clear sign to you of just how desperate the situation is for them currently. 5. Ask them if they would be willing to talk with you instead of acting on the thoughts. 6. Remind them that you want to honor their calling you by being helpful. 7. Try to understand what has led to them considering this option. Pray with them about the specific triggers you are aware of that resulted in their current suicidal thoughts. 8. Offer hope of: Gods plan for their life (Genesis 50:20; Jeremiah 29:11, 31:17, Romans 8:28, Philippians 1:6) His strength (Psalm 9, 32:7, 59:9, 16) His comfort (Psalm 18:6, 86:7, 118:5, and 120:1,138:3, 145:19, Isaiah 35:4) His presence (1 Corinthians 3:16, 6:19; 2 Corinthians 6:16; Galatians 2:20) 9. Share the Gospel. 10. Connect to a local church. 11. Contact supervisor by pressing *8 during the call if needed, otherwise call supervisor after completing the call.
Proverbs 3:5-6 Matthew 11:28; 14:27-32 2 Corinthians 5:17 Philippians 4:6-7 1 Thessalonians 5:17 1 Peter 5:7 Hebrews 13:5 John 1:12 Proverbs 28:13 1 John 1:9
GUILT
Guilt is interesting in that it can refer to a condition, identification, a verdict, or feelings. Real guilt is the result of sin, in that, having broken Gods law we are guilty. This guilt refers to our condition, what is true about us, and is valid whether or not a person actually feels guilty. In other words, not feeling guilty does not mean that I am not guilty. Just as, not acknowledging sin does not mean that I have not sinned. Guilt feelings are present when we have sinned and our conscience alerts us to that through these emotions. These feelings prompt us to stop and consider what has just occurred, confess and repent of what we know to be sin, and receive Gods forgiveness. Sometimes, guilt feelings can occur when we think we have committed a wrong, or when we have not lived up to some expectation of ourselves or others. False guilt is the condition of continuing to experience the feelings of guilt, and identifying with being guilty, even when circumstances do not support it. Someone with a poor self-image may continue to have guilt feelings associated with thoughts of not being able to measure up. It also is the result of continuing to suffer guilt even after acknowledging they have been forgiven by God. Remember Esau (Hebrews 12:17) who found no place for repentance even though he desperately sought for it. Guilt as a result of sin leads to feelings of guilt that prompt us to take notice and deal with this sin through confession and repentance. Often guilt feelings can come in the form of godly sorrow which might be experienced as deep remorse or sadness. This sorrow is according to the will of God and is intended to lead us to repentance. (2 Corinthians 7:9-10). For unbelievers, this godly sorrow is to lead them to salvation in Christ. Only God can eliminate this guilt resulting in no condemnation (Romans 8:1), having our sins blotted out (Isaiah 44:22), and removal of our sin by God (Psalm 103:12). This is done through justification. In the case of Adam and Eve, their sin produced feelings of guilt. In response, they felt ashamed and fearful. They attempted to hide from God and avoid the penalty of their sin. God forced them to confront their guilt, and then provided atonement by killing and animal and fashioning clothes for them to wear. Their realization of being naked was their guilt. God covered their sin (nakedness) with the clothes he made from the sacrificed animal. This is the picture established by God that would also lead to Christs sacrifice for us. Throughout the Bible, the repeated theme of guilt followed by repentance leads to restoration. David experienced physical symptoms as a result of his guilt, and when he finally confessed, he was restored. (2 Samuel 11:1-2:25; Psalm 51) Guilt and feelings of guilt are necessary to acknowledge and deal with. Not dealing appropriately with guilt can lead to a stubborn and cold heart that is insensitive to sin toward God and result in a spiraling pattern of sin and emotional turmoil.
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1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7.
Share the gospel. Listen for feelings of guilt or recognition of guilt. Describe for them the purpose of guilt leading to confession and repentance of sin Pray for them regarding their guilt. Focus on Gods ability and willingness to forgive. Encourage the caller to pray for forgiveness. Refer them to a local church. Refer for counseling if appropriate
Romans 3:20, 21-24 2 Peter 2:19 Ephesians 2:1-5 2 Corinthians 7:9-10 Romans 5:1 Romans 8:1 Romans 10:9-13 Psalm 51

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2011

Christian HelpLine Training Manual 2

2011 StandFirm Ministry

Christian HelpLine Training Manual 3

Christian HelpLine Training Manual 4

Christian HelpLine Training Manual 5

Christian HelpLine Training Manual 6 Overview of StandFirm Ministry:

Christian HelpLine Training Manual 7

Mission of Christian HelpLine:

Vision of Christian HelpLine:

Christian HelpLine Training Manual 8

Goals of the Christian HelpLine ministry

Christian HelpLine Training Manual 9 Description of Volunteer Role:

Christian HelpLine Training Manual 10 What is a Christian HelpLine Volunteer?

Christian HelpLine Training Manual 11 The Disciplines of a Christian HelpLine Volunteer

Christian HelpLine Training Manual 12

Christian HelpLine Training Manual The Attitude of a HelpLine Volunteer

Christian HelpLine Training Manual 14

Benefits of Being a Volunteer

Christian HelpLine Training Manual 15

Commitment to Christian HelpLine

Christian HelpLine Training Manual 16 Instruments God Uses to Change Us

Christian HelpLine Training Manual 17

4:00am 8:00am 12:00pm 4:00pm 8:00pm 12:00am

Christian HelpLine Training Manual 18 Forwarded Calls:

Christian HelpLine Training Manual 19

Christian HelpLine Training Manual 20

Structure of the Call

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Christian HelpLine Training Manual 22 L- Listen

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Allow the speaker to finish. Dont interrupt with counter-arguments.

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A-Ask about Salvation

Christian HelpLine Training Manual D-Determine the Need

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Christian HelpLine Training Manual 27 L- Lift In Prayer

Why Should We Pray?

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L- Lift In Prayer (contd)

Christian HelpLine Training Manual 29 Y- Yield the Results to the Lord

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Christian HelpLine Training Manual

HELPLINE Call Log

PRAY with caller

SHARE the Gospel

CONNECT to local church

Salvation Assurance Restoration

Allow us to call church?

yes yes yes

Need transportation? Church contacted?

Referral made to StandFirm counseling? ___YES

Other referral made? _______________________________________________

Christian HelpLine Training Manual

HELPLINE Follow-up Log

Follow-up: Date Time

Outcome (note about what happened)

Christian HelpLine Training Manual 34 What Do I Say?

Christian HelpLine Training Manual 35 Reports of Abuse or Neglect

Christian HelpLine Training Manual 36 Prank Callers

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