Professional Documents
Culture Documents
Session 11
Introduction
Not long ago after the wedding, couples often experience difficulty in
communicating. Some retreat behind silence. . .some erupt in anger. . .and
some fail to listen.
Illustration:
Interaction:
• Why do we need to communicate in marriage?
• Why do couples do not communicate or what causes poor
communication?
-Jesus is called “logos” the Word of God. It means He is the Word of God,
speech of God. Then it was said, “the heavens declare the glory of the
Lord.”
-God has given us His Word, the Bible to communicate His heart.
-Again, I am not going to present to you what the world says about
communication by presenting 10 ways but we will see the Bible and learn what
God is teaching us about it.
1
Dennis Rainey says,
“Conflict often starts with something small, even inconsequential. As
someone has said, people who claim that small things don’t bother them never
slept in a room with a mosquito.”
James 3:3, “Indeed, we put bits in horses’ mouths that they may obey us, and
we turn their whole body.”
James 3:4, “Look at the ships: although they are so large and are driven by
fierce winds, they are turned by a very small rudder wherever the pilot
desires.”
• Boasting tongue
James 3:5a, “Even to the tongue is a little member and boasts great things.”
-“I’m am great.” “ I am number one.” Pride.
• Tongue as fire
James 3:5b-6, “See how great a forest a little fire kindles. And the tongue is
a fire, a world of iniquity. The tongue is so set among our members that it
defiles the whole body, and sets on fire the course of nature, and it is set on
fire by hell.”
• Tongue as serpent
Proverbs 18:21, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those
who love it will eat its fruit.”
• Tongue as sword
Proverbs 12:18, “There is one who speaks like the piercing of a sword, but
the tongue of the wise promotes health.”
2
-Tongue can cut a person or marriage.
James 1:26, “If anyone among you thinks he is religious, and does not bridle his
tongue but deceives his own heart, this one’s religion is useless.”
Proverbs 15:1, “a soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up
anger.”
Ephesians 4:25-26:
1. Don’t lie. Lying comes out of mouth destroys communication
2. Speak the truth. It means the whole truth not half or partial truth. Truth
makes us free from what? Anxiety and fear.
3. Be angry and don’t sin. What is the root of incorrect communication? It’s
anger.
-What is the solution of anger? Read on.
4. Reconcile immediately. Why? Read verse 26, “Nor give place to the
devil.”
3
Ephesians 4:30: “And do not grieve the Spirit. . .”
1) Bitterness
2) Wrath
3) Anger
4) Clamor is loud voice, noisy, or yelling.
5) Evil speaking
6) Malice is intention to do no good.
Clean up your heart. Don’t look at the one you are talking with, look to
yourself and see if there is a problem within you.
1 Peter 3:8, “Finally all of you be of one mind, having compassion for one
another; love as brothers, be tender hearted, be courteous.”
-The lesson is that when you are misunderstood or when your spouse
says bad words is to be compassionate, love, tender hearted and be courteous.
1 Peter 3:9, “Not returning evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary
blessing, knowing that you were called to this, that you may inherit the a
blessing.”
Matthew 12:36,”But I say to you that for every idle word men may speak, they
will give account of it in the day of judgment.”
Matthew 12:37: “For your words you will be justified, and by your words you will
condemned or judged.”
4
The biblical principle tongue:
-“If you really want to, you can stop fighting today immediately.” How?
The secret? Extend your tongue until the tip just barely protrudes between your
upper and lower front teeth.