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Personality Development and Public Relations 5

Culture Values Family

Filipino

Family Values Filipino Concept of Shame General Etiquette and Protocol Business Etiquette Basics: Relationship and Communication Business Meeting Etiquette-Business Negotiation Dress Etiquette Business cards

The Study of Culture


What is Culture?

The word culture is derived from the Latin word culture which means care, or cultus, meaning civilization. This is based on the fact that the human person has a long period of dependency and has to be taken care of by the people around him.

What is Culture?

The culture of the group to which an individual is born provides him the needed care and attention as he grows into a mature person. It is along this framework that the differences in the culture of different places become evident as reflected in the care and training provided to the individual.

The Study of Culture

When we meet someone from a different culture, that persons culture becomes immediately evident to us. We notice his clothing, mannerism, language, beliefs, taste for food and among others. The characteristics which may contrast sharply with our own, alert us to broad differences in the way the person was raised to that persons culture.

The Study of Culture


Culture consists of material things, such as art, tools, weapons, dwelling units, utensils, machinery, clothing and others. Culture also has non-material aspects, the general beliefs and patterns of behavior common to a group of people. While many anthropologists interested in material culture, sociologists develop primary interests in non-material culture for it provides broad framework within which people interpret life and the lens through which they see the world and perceive reality.

Definitions of Culture
Edward Taylor Culture refers to that complex whole which includes knowledge, beliefs, art, morals, law, customs and any other capabilities and habits acquired by man as a member of society. Robert Redfield Culture an organized body of conventional understandings manifest in art and artifacts which persisting through tradition, characterizes a human group.

Definitions of Culture

Culture is a mans social heritage which has been transmitted from one generation to another through language. It tells what man does, and it tells man what to do, and how to do things. Culture represents the design ore recipes for living, the interrelated network of norms and roles. It encompasses mode of thinking, feeling and acting commonly found in a society and include what man has acquired as a member of that society.

TYPES OF CULTURE

Material Culture includes physical objects or artifacts- things that human beings create by altering the natural environment. They are easy to observe and often impressive. Examples dwelling units, tools, weapons, clothing, stone axes, wooden chair and other concrete elements of culture that can be perceived as important part of product of any behavior system of man, past, present and future.

TYPES OF CULTURE
Material Culture refers to the concrete and tangible things that man creates and uses. They range from the prehistoric stone tools of the primitive man to the most advanced computer of the modern man.

TYPES OF CULTURE
Non-Material Culture consist of words people use, the habits they follow, the ideas, customs, behavior of any society profess and to which they strive to conform. Laws, techniques, lifestyle and knowledge are included. The non-material aspect of culture is the meaning and substance inherent in culture.

Components of Culture
Things covered under the broad headings material and non-material culture are the components of culture.
1. 2.

3.
4.

Norms Values Language Fashions, fads, crazes

1. Norms(Components of Culture)
Often described as social norms. These are guides or models of behavior which tell us what is proper and which are appropriate or inappropriate, right or wrong. Norms regulate peoples behavior in a given society. Norms are usually in the form of rules, standards or prescriptions followed by people who follow certain standards or roles.

Forms of Social Norms


Folkways are customary patterns of everyday life that specify what is socially correct and proper in everyday life. Examples shaking of hands, bathing frequently and regularly, keeping ones lawn cut and orderly, not drinking liquor in church and others.

Mores In contrast to folkways, mores are seen as extremely important and considered vital for the groups welfare and survival. While folkways specify socially correct and proper behavior, mores define what is morally right and morally wrong. They are folkways with ethical and moral significance. They are social norms associated with strong feelings of right and wrong.

Forms of Social Norms


Laws they are norms that enforced formally by a special political organization. These are components of culture regulating or controlling the peoples behavior and conduct. Enforcing agencies- police, courts, prisons and others.

2. Values(Components of Culture)
Another important component of culture are values. Unlike norms which constitute standards for behavior, values represents the standards we use to evaluate the desirability of things. Values define what is right, good and moral. The values of a society shape its normative system and guide the behavior of its people. By analyzing the norms of society, one

Major Value Orientations of Many Societies Robin Williams


Achievement and success-many people emphasize personal achievements specially occupational success. They admire the rags to riches stories and value the self-made man. Activity and work work is regarded not only as a means to success but as an end itself. Some people place high value in work and dedication to it.

Major Value Orientations of Many Societies Robin Williams

Moral orientation Many people see the world in terms of right and wrong, good and bad. They tend to judge their conduct and that of others against ethical principles. Humanitarianism- One ideal for any person is material generosity. Some people believe in helping others individually as well as collectively through organized charities and philanthropies.

Major Value Orientations of Many Societies Robin Williams


Efficiency and practicality efficiency has become standard by which some people judge their activity. Their emphasis on efficiency is associated with the importance they place on practicality and technology.

Filipino Values Jaime Bulatao

Emotional Closeness and Security in The Family The family is seen as having a double function 1. It provides an outlet for the need of a person to get out of himself and come out into contact with another person in a free and unguarded emotional exchange. 2. It provides understanding, acceptance, a place where, no matter how far or how wrongly one has wandered, he can always return.

Filipino Values Jaime Bulatao


The Authority Value This refers to the approval by the authority figure and by societys surrogate. Due to its past orientation, the Filipino family places high authority on the elders(parents, older siblings or even grandparents). The family tends to be authoritarian.

Filipino Values Jaime Bulatao

Economic and Social Betterment It appears most often as a desire to raise the standard of living of ones family or of ones hometown, often as a repayment for ones debt of gratitude(utang na loob) to parents and relatives. Patience, Suffering and Endurance It appears in stories when the frustrating force, whether poverty, injustice, sickness or anything else is conceived as too powerful to be overcome. It is in this value which has become fused with the religious value since it seems that God is called upon when other means fail. This value is associated more with women than with men.

3. Language(Components of
Culture)

It refers to a system of symbols that have specific and arbitrary meaning in a given society. It is symbolic communication or language that sets human beings apart from other species. With the use of language, we can go beyond just transmitting simple feelings and emotions in the here and how. It enables us to talk and think about the past and the future. Language makes it possible for us to learn from others experiences and to accumulate knowledge from one generation to the next. Through language we are able to transmit our learning to others.

4. Fashions, Fads and Crazes


They are more short-lived social norms with which people are expected to comply with. They may operate as of social change. Examples new styles of clothes, bags, shoes and hairdo. They may also include new styles of houses, cars, appliances, shows and even music. Then prestige and status of a person depends on his use of these styles.

Characteristics of Culture

Culture is learned and acquired. Culture may take the form of habits, skills, values, and knowledge which constitutes ones culture acquired during the course of ones life, not transmitted genetically. Culture may be acquired through imitation, conditioning, suggestion, formal or informal instruction or mass media. Its acquisition follows a system of reward and punishment. Culture is shared and transmitted. Culture is ideational. Culture gratifies human needs. Culture is social. Culture is adaptive. Culture tends toward integration. Culture is cumulative.

Functions of Culture
A culture exists to systematize the satisfaction of the social needs of people. The means for this satisfaction are the various major and subsidiary institutions that constitute the culture. The culture as a whole performs number of functions distinct from the objectives of the various institutions.

Two Major Uses of Culture

Culture as a Category- for the classification of phenomena. Through classification which use categories, man is able to segregate things that must occupy his priority.

Culture as a Tool in Prediction prediction of social behavior depends upon understanding how the human organism will react to its environment. Because culture is learned and internalized by all individuals in a society, it is part of their usual subjective way of responding to stimuli.

Modes of Acquiring Culture


1. Imitation the process of socialization plays a very important role in the development of every individual. As the child grows, he imitates the things around him: the language of the people around him and his parents behavior. He also acquires the values he sees in his family. He imitates even the undesirable traits from his peer group. The process of imitation becomes possible because of the examples set by the social environment and the individual continually undergoes the process of imitation even in his adult life.

Modes of Acquiring Culture


2. Indoctrination This may take the form of formal teaching or training which may take place anywhere the individuals finds himself interacting with his fellow humans. This formal teaching takes into account the cultural components of the society where the learning individuals lives. 3. Conditioning Through the social norms prevailing in ones social and cultural milieu, the individual acquires a certain pattern of beliefs, values, behavior and actions through the process of conditioning. This process reinforced by a system of reward and punishments found in the cultural system.

QUIZ

Illustrate the main differences between material and non-material culture.


Think of yourself going abroad. When you are already in a foreign country, how will culture become adaptive?

PHILIPPINE VALUES

What are Values? The third millennium finds the country in a flux of change and beset by multifarious problems political crisis, economic crisis, poverty, environmental degradation, graft and corruption, etc. To top it all is the imbroglio and breach between President Gloria Arroyo and the opposition parties, constantly we hear that some people, especially the politicians, have lost their sense of values and gone are the days when politicians were real statesmen.

PHILIPPINE VALUES

Archbishop Gaudencio Rosales, in the height of the political crisis said that the cause of the nations problems was the erosion of our values.
We have lost our christian values of sacrifice and discipline.

WHAT ARE VALUES?

According to Cario(1997:160) Values are moral or ethical standards signifying what are intrinsically desirable. They are different from the technical norms which refer to the norms through which the desired state is reached. These values are societys moral imperatives that deal with what ought to be, what is good or bad, what is desirable or undesirable.

WHAT ARE VALUES?

They express the general goals and set broad guidelines for the society. They are conveyed in stories, myths and fairy tales and what our parents, teachers, priests and ministers and others tell us what to do and to avoid.

They are the expectations of how we should present the self in varied settings.

The Department of Education, Culture and Sports States that;


A thing has value when it is perceived as good and desirable. Food, money and housing have value because they are perceived as good and the desire to acquire them influences attitudes and behavior.

Not only material goods but also ideals and concepts are valuable such as truth, honesty and justice. Example if truth is a value for us, it commands in us an inner commitment which in turn translates itself into our daily speech and action. Truth is good and desirable, it influences attitudes and behavior.

What are Values?


Values are the bases for determining what behavior and attitudes are correct. They are emotion laden.

The members of a culture share a value such as religiosity or honor because they feel that it is right.

Values indicate the social conscience of the people. The cultures values are organized in a hierarchy or a set of priorities.

The Basis for Philippine Value Orientations

The Filipino of the twenty-first century is a blend of various social strains and cultural elements Aeta, Indonesian, Malaysian, Hindu, Arabian, Chinese, Spanish, American and more recently, of the global community.
In short he/she is cosmopolitan in nature, basically Oriental and a bit Occidental.

The Basis for Philippine Value Orientations

Filipinos have been exposed to conquest and war, to a wide variety of experiences and cultural elements such as educational exchange programs, cultural exchanges, socio-economic development programs, mass media, multinational business and corporate communities, increasing overseas employment and the balikbayan program.

We endured twenty years under a dictatorship amd were liberated through the EDSA Revolution. We celebrated on June 12, 1998, the centenary of the Philippine Independence. On January 20, 2001, President Joseph Estrada was forced to resign.

The Basis for Philippine Value Orientations


As we stand on the first decade of the twenty-first century, we are confronted by a serious political crisis. There are efforts being made to change the form of our government from presidential to parliamentary. The political and economic structures have been badly shaken. People in dismay cry out that we have lost our sense of values. People also decry the erosion of our traditional family and spiritual values. And so the schools, government, media and socio-civic organizations have embarked on programs of moral recovery and national renewal.

The Study of Values

Anthropologists and sociologists have been interested in the study of values. They are not concerned with the evaluation or endorsement of values as being inherently better or worse. Sociologists are concerned about values as they are used by individuals or groups as the standards by which they live and define their goals, make decisions, judge social norms, beliefs, material objects and persons as good or bad; rank these into varying degrees of goodness or badness and relate these to a given situations or events.

The Study of Values

Since values are abstract, they cannot be readily identified. They can be deduced from social interaction or the behavior of individuals or from a study of language, from what people do, think, or feel one can derive meanings and study the motives for certain actions.

The Family Traditional Values

The family is the central unit that defines a Filipinos set of personal responsibilities and obligations and network of social relations. The Filipinos are family centered for clannish. They learn the value of maintaining a good interpersonal relationships with their kin which is strengthened by reciprocal obligations. The personalism and familism that permeates much of our social relationships underlie the cultural themes or values.

SOCIAL ACCEPTANCE

Through observation of what Filipinos say and do, or do not say and do, the choices they make or do not make, the actions they reward or punish came out wit a set of values which become the basis for comparison between Filipinos and Americans. Three basic values were identified: 1. social acceptance 2. economic security 3. social mobility which motivate and control the behavior of Filipinos.

SOCIAL ACCEPTANCE

The goal of social acceptance and the value of smooth interpersonal relationships are generally in agreement with the values ingrained in the family where the members are taught to recognize or accept one another and maintain harmonious relations within the family.

Social Acceptance is defined as being taken by ones fellowmen for what one is or believes he/she is and treated in accordance with his/her status, not rejected or improperly criticized. The major concern is social approval and acceptance by the members of the group so ones behavior is greatly dependent on what he/she thinks others will think about, say, or do to him/her.

SOCIAL ACCEPTANCE
In the Philippines, social acceptance operates within the closely knit nuclear family and its range of kinship structures. In the social process, children learns to cultivate goodwill and to avoid conflicts.

Early in childhood, they are taught not to quarrel with others and to learn to get along with them and be considerate of them. When one gets along well with others and is socially accepted by them, he/she can reap future economic, social, political and economic gains.

SOCIAL ACCEPTANCE
Jocano questioned the methodology of comparing Americans and Filipinos. He averred that social acceptance is also highly valued in the United States, but there is difference in the framework for its operation.

In the Philippines social acceptance is within an interpersonal framework, while in the United States it operates as institutional framework. Americans strongly desire social acceptance, they strive to be worthy members of a church, community fund drive or a fraternity in order to be accepted by the other members of the

THE FAMILY

The family plays important role in the life of any nation. It is the basic or most fundamental unit in any society. DEFINITION OF FAMILY Sociologist and anthropologists define family as a group of people who are united by ties of marriage, ancestry, or adoption and who are reorganized by the community as constituting a single household and as having responsibility for rearing children. United States define family as two or more persons who are related to each other by blood, marriage, or adoption and who live together. The family may be viewed as a sub-system with interacting personalities. The members interact with one another in their reciprocal roles, supported by set of norms, attitudes and values drawn mostly from the larger society.

THE FAMILY

The family may also be seen as an agency playing a vital role in the development of ones personality and in the process of values formation and development. It is an influential factor in the determination of the social organization of the entire society.

Its is regulated by customs and laws and gives continuity to the society as it does its reproductive function. It is a group that first socializes the individual and provides for his basic social needs.

Characteristics of the Family


The family as a social group is universal and is a significant element in mans social life. According to Murdock, the family exists because there is no other social unit which can fulfill its vital functions in and for the society. It is the first social group to which the individual is exposed.

Family contact and relationships are repetitive and continuous. They extend over a long period of time, often a lifetime. It is said that the individuals earliest and longest experience in living takes place in a family setting.

The family is a very close and intimate group. This is very true to the Filipino and other Asian families, where family ties among members are close. It is the most intense emotional experiences during the lifetime of the individual birth, childhood, puberty, adolescence, marriage and death. The family influence on personality and character is significant and pervasive.

Characteristics of the Family

The family affects the individuals social values, dispositions and outlook in life. The family is the source of individuals ideals, aspirations, and basic motivations in life. The family has the unique position of serving as a link between the individual and the larger society. The family is also unique in providing continuity of social life. It is the meeting ground of generations not only in terms of biological traits but also socio-cultural heritage.

Classification of the Family


1. According to organization, structure and membership. a. The nuclear family also known as the primary or elementary family. It is composed of a husband and his wife and their children in the union recognized by the society. Any individual belongs to two kinds of families: Family of orientation and family of procreation. The family of orientation is that into which one is born and where one is reared and socialized. The family of procreation- is established by the person through marriage. b. The extended family this is composed of two or more nuclear families related to each other economically and socially.

Two Types of Families Derived from Classification

1. The conjugal family this considers the spouses and their children as of prime importance and which has a fringe of comparatively unimportant relatives. The marriage bond is important and stressed.
2. The consanguineal family this considers the nucleus of blood relatives as more important than the spouses. The relationships of the persons with the blood kin formed during childhood are of prime importance.

Classification of the Family


2. According to place of residence-this classification includes patrilocal, matrilocal, bilocal, neolocal and avunlocal. Patrilocal family requires that the newly married couple live with the family of the bridegroom or near the residence of the parents of the bridegroom. Matrilocal family requires that the newly wed couple live with or near the residence of the brides parents. Bilocal family provides the newly wed couple the freedom to select where to reside, whether near the grooms or brides parents.

Classification of the Family


Neolocal family permits the newly wed couple to reside independently of their parents. They can decide on their own as far as their residence is concerned. Avunlocal family prescribes that the newly wed couple resides with or near the maternal uncle of the groom.

In the Philippines, the place of residence is influenced by the close ties prevailing among family members, economic dependence of children on their parents, ownership of property or parents decision.

Classification of the Family


3. According to descent the relationship existing among family members may also be used as basis in classifying the family. Families may patrilineal, matrilineal or bilateral. Patrilineal affiliates a person with a group of relatives related to him through his father. The child is also related to his mothers kin but in terms of closeness, he turns to his fathers kin. Matrilineal descent affiliates a person with a group of kinsmen related to him through the mother. Bilateral descent affiliates a person with a group of kinsmen related to him through the mother.

Classification of the Family

4. According to authority families may be patriarchal, matriarchal, equalitarian or matricentric. Patriarchal family is one which authority is vested in the oldest male member, often the father or grandfather or in the absence of parents, on the oldest male member. This characterized by family solidarity and ancestor worship. The double standard of morality exists. Matriarchal family is one which authority is vested in the elder of the mothers kin. This is rarely found in societies. However, many societies have the mother dominating the household. Equalitarian family is one where the husband and wife exercise a more or less equal amount of authority. Matricentric family is one where the absence of the father who may be working gives the mother a dominant position in the family.

Classification of the Family

5. According to terms of marriage under this classification, families may be either monogamy or polygamy. Monogamy permits the man to have only one spouse at any time. Polygamy is plural marriage. It assumes any of the following forms: polygyny, polyandry and group marriage. Polygyny refers to the marriage of one man to two or more women at a time. It involves a common household, economic cooperation and sexual reproduction. Polyandry is the marriage of one woman to two or more men at the same time. This form of marriage is very rare. Group marriage refers to the marriage of several men and several women at a time.

The Future of the Family in the Philippines

The Filipino family remains to be a strong and vital institution in molding the character of the young members. Though there are forms other than the nuclear family that may emerge in the future, we believe that the young generation will still recognize its importance.

But definitely we foresee a decrease in the size as younger couples realize the value of having fewer children, not only because of the economic costs but also because of the moral and emotional investments involved.

The Future of the Family in the Philippines

Though we see the proliferation of agencies and services available to assist working women burdened by housekeeping, working women will continue to assume some of their traditional roles as principal socializers to their children. Though some pessimists foresee the dissolution of the family , this particular traditional role of the women as mothers will remain. But more men will share in the traditional roles of women as they begin to recognize that their relationship with their housewives is egalitarian and complementary. More men will begin to be supportive of the womens right to pursue their careers after marriage.

The Future of the Family in the Philippines


Women who are career-oriented will put off marriage. The proposal of the late Senator Rene Cayetano to lower the age of marriage for women to 14 years and men to 16 years, will not materialize as younger generations because of interest in education and pursuit of career, will not marry early.

More and more men and women would want to have stable jobs before marriage as they realize the responsibilities which accompany the formation of a family.
n effect, compared to the past, more women will work outside the house after marriage and will significant contributions to the family income. More and more couples will have a variety of family experience during their lifetime.

GENERAL ETIQUETTE AND PROTOCOL GUIDELINES


Meeting Etiquette

Initial greetings are formal and follow a set of protocol of greeting the eldest or most important person first. A handshake with a welcoming smile is the standard greeting. Close female friends may hug and kiss when they meet. Use academic, professional or honorific titles and the persons surname until you are invited to use their first name, or even more frequently , their nickname.

Guidelines for Living


The world is too much with us. While scientific and medical advancements have made life easier over the years, the stresses and strains that have come with population density, technological advancements, all-pervasive news and entertainment media, and a redefinition of the family have resulted in a whole new set of challenges.

People behave no worse than they used to(rudeness and other social offenses are nothing new) but the pressures of modern life make it all more difficult to stay civil.

Guidelines for Living

Whats needed for this day and age is new guidelines for courteous behavior especially in a time when it often seems that anything goes. Its true that a more casual approach to dressing, communicating and entertaining has taken hold, but thats hardly something to be concerned about. The history of human inter-action is one of change, and manners by their nature adapt to the times. Todays guidelines help steer our behavior as we move through our daily routines no matter what difficulties we face, how informal the occasion or event, or which surprises are sprung. In fact it can be said that we need manners more than ever to smooth the way.

Guidelines for Living

Although todays manners are more situational, tailored to a particular circumstances and the expectations of those around us, they remain a combination of common sense, generosity of spirit, and a few specific rules that help us inter-act thoughtfully.

Guidelines for Living


Respect Consideration Honesty

Respect
Respecting other people means recognizing their value as human beings regardless of their background, race, or creed. A respectful person would also never treat a salesperson, a waiter, or an office assistant as somehow inferior. Respect is demonstrated in all your day-to-day relations refraining from demeaning others for their ideas and opinions, refusing to laugh at sexist jokes, putting prejudices aside, and staying open-minded.

RESPECT
Self-respect is just as important as respect for others. A self-confident person isnt boastful or pushy but it secure with herself in a way that inspires confidence in others. She values herself regardless of her physical attributes or individual talents, understanding that honor and character are what really matter.

CONSIDERATION

Thoughtfulness and kindness are folded into consideration for other people. Consideration also encapsulates the Golden Rule: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

Being thoughtful means thinking about what you can do to put people at ease.
While kindness is more about acts.

Taken together, these qualities lead us to help a friend or stranger in need, to bestow a token of appreciation, to offer praise.

HONESTY

Has more to do, with ethics than etiquette, but the two are intertwined. What could be more unmannerly than being deceptive? Honesty ensures that we act sincerely and is also the basis of tact: speaking and acting in ways that wont cause unnecessary offense.

HONESTY
A tactful person can say something honest about another person without causing great embarrassment or pain. In other words, tact calls for both empathy and benevolent honesty. I like the other bathing suit on you better is honest, while That bathing suit makes you look fat may be equally true but amounts to an insult.

Two Other Essential Qualities


Graciousness Deference Graciousness is the ability to handle situations with flexibility, while showing deference can be easy as removing ones hat in a place of worship. The mark of a gracious person is his ability to put people at ease and spare them any embarrassment. (Youre being gracious when someone forgets your name during an introduction and you say, Oh, please dont feel bad! Im always drawing a blank when I try to remember names.) Its easy to forget that gracious is the adjective form of grace which dictionaries variously define as good will; favor; thoughtfulness toward others and a sense of what is right and proper. By any definition, grace is a quality anyone should strive to achieve.

Two Other Essential Qualities


Deference is primarily a means of recognizing a persons experience and accomplishments. Courtesies like standing when an older person enters a room, giving a senior executive the head seat at a conference table, and addressing authority figures by their titles and last names(unless they specifically request otherwise) do not demean anyone. Far from it. Deferring politely reflects well on the person who defers by demonstrating that he values other people for their achievements.

Four Things Etiquette Is Not

Misconceptions about etiquette and the need for it abound, which makes it necessary to list four things that etiquette is most certainly not:

A set of rigid rules. Something for the Wealthy or Wellborn. A thing of the past. Snobbishness.

A Set of Rigid Rules

Manners change with the times and today are more flexible than ever before.
Etiquette isnt a set of prescriptions for properness but merely a set of guidelines for doing things in ways that make people feel comfortable.

Something for the Wealthy or Well-Born

Etiquette is a code of behavior for people from all walks of life, every socio-economic group, and of all ages.
No one is immune to having his life enhanced by good manners.

A Thing of the Past

Sometimes it seems that yesterdays standards have gone out the window, but todays more casual approach to things is something that sits on the surface.
The bedrock principles of etiquette remain as solid as they ever were.

Snobbishness

Little violates the tenets of etiquette more than snobbery which more often than not, is just another name for pretentiousness.
A person who looks down on others shows himself not as superior but small the kind whos anything but respectful and considerate.

Actions Express Attitude


People who really pay attention to others have little trouble translating what they see and hear into courteous behavior. Courteous people are empathetic able to relate emotionally to the feelings of others. They listen closely to what people say.

They observe what is going on around them and register what they see. A self-centered person might say, I know exactly how you feel to someone in a traumatic situation and then immediately start describing his own experiences. An empathetic person is more likely to say something like, I cant know how you feel right now, but I can understand your grief(or anger or sadness). And if you want to talk about it, Im here to listen.

Actions Express Attitude

This concerns for other leads to another characteristics of courteous people. They are flexible willing to adjust their own behavior to the needs and feelings of others. This doesnt mean that well-mannered people are pushovers or lack strongly held principles. But courtesy means understanding that nobody is perfect. Courteous people arent so concerned about forms(using the right fork or introducing people in the correct order) that they would embarrass or denigrate others for simple breaches of etiquette. Courteous people would never use another persons mistakes as an excuse to react with callous words or cruel acts.

Why Etiquette Matters?

Grounded as it is in timeless principles, etiquette enables us to face whatever the future may bring with strength of character and integrity. This ever-adaptive code of behavior also allows us to be flexible enough to respect those whose beliefs and traditions differ from our own.

Civility and courtesy (in essence, the outward expressions of human decency) are the proverbial glue that holds society together qualities that are more important than ever in todays complex and changing world.

Greetings and Introductions

Its like chemical catalysts. They get things going. Its hard to imagine daily life without friendly greetings and introductions to bring people together in a spirit of goodwill. These courtesies are observed in all societies, through the forms of differ. From the most casual wave to the most formal presentation, greetings and introductions are a basic to civilized interaction today as ever. Every greeting and introduction is a chance to show your respect for others and to create a favorable impression of yourself.

The Essentials of Greetings Others


A greeting is an acknowledgment of someone elses presence. For most people greeting others is so ingrained that they hardly notice doing it. Yet when people fail to greet someone they know, the omission may cause hurt feelings and misunderstandings. If a normally courteous person doesnt wave at her neighbor or say good morning to co-workers, they may feel snubbed or think that the person is behaving oddly. Such failures happen for a variety of reasons- the person is preoccupied or distracted, shes late for an engagement. She forgot her glasses and just doesnt see someone she knows.

The Essentials of Greetings Others

It can usually be corrected with a warm greeting the next time around.
But such failures demonstrate the first essential of good greeting manners: taking notice of other people.

Informal Greetings
It can be spoken, gestured or both. These days the classic spoken greetings in the United States are hello and hi or hey in some regions, accompanied by the persons name if you know it and said with a pleasant smile. Good morning, good afternoon and good evening are still commonly heard, though they may be popular in some regions than others. Children and teenagers have their own greeting lingo, but they should be discouraged from using the current slang with people outside their circle of friends.

Informal Greetings

Saying hello doesnt obligate you to stop and chat, so dont hesitate to greet someone just because youre in a rush. If the person wants to talk, explain your hurry( Hi Brenda. I wish I had time to talk, but Im on my way to the dentists office) and part graciously. Good manners often earn good treatment in return. Sometimes a spoken greeting isnt possible, as when someone is too far away to hear or when a greeting would disturb others. A smile or a nod or wave will do in public places such as theater, concert hall, or restaurant. But if any gestures is likely to indicate lack of attention or to distract others ( as waving and nodding might during a religious service, lecture, or live performance) its polite to smile and save your greeting for later.