Ils Enneagram Nugget 1

COACHINGl i n t e r n a t i o n a
NUGGET
Empowering you to Empower Others!
ILS EMPOWER Enneagram

Learning Objectives
Love is the only way to grasp another human being in the innermost core of his personality. Viktor Frankl
What is the Enneagram?

? Understand what
the Enneagram is Have an ? overview of the Enneagram as a self coaching and coaching process
The Enneagram is an exceptionally dynamic and easy to use archetypal system. It is becoming popular as a coaching aid to understanding others, for building and understanding teams (business, sports, organisations) and for clear insight into relationships. Its origins are not fully known, but its modern application is easily appreciated. Here follows a basic introduction to the system. NINE TYPES The Enneagram contains 9 basic personality types. Each one can be expressed in a healthy or moderate or unhealthy way. By knowing our type, we are more easily able to take our type to a healthy expression. Understanding others types helps us to work better with others, gaining compassion and insight into their personality design. THREE CENTERS OF PERSONALITY The nine types are grouped into three. Each group has a personality centre. This centre is a dominant orientation for the types in the group. The three centres are: gut, heart and head.
? GUT: types 9, 8, 1 ? types 3, 2, 4 HEART: ? types 6, 5, 7 HEAD:
We can all access our hearts, head and guts, but we tend to have a dominant centre of gravity to our personality design. Based on our centre, we respond to and translate our experiences differently. A gut type will respond based on instinct, a heart type will have emotions drive the action, the mind type will make a decision based on thought. The personality is driven by its centre. It also translates reality based on its centre. Our response to experience sets up the next complex of personality. The 3 primary pain pearls. Note that this way of explaining the Enneagram is uniquely ILS. We have just found that this is a helpful way to understand the Enneagram.
Written by Colleen-Joy Page Copyright 2011 www.innerlifeskills.com
NUGGET
ILS EMPOWER Enneagram part 1

Learning Objectives
3 PAIN PEARLS OF PERSONALITY

? Have an
overview of the Enneagram as a self coaching and coaching process continued
In nature, a pearl is grown around a grain of sand. The grain of sand is an irritant. The creature that builds the pearl, builds it to try to get rid of the irritant. In a similar way, each of the nine types is a design formed around one of three basic pain irritants. The three primary pains are: anger, fear and shame.
? - a primal resistance to the experience ANGER
and impact of reality

? a primal fear of being separate to others and reality FEAR ? - a primal shame of being separate and belonging in reality (family, life) SHAME
completely Under ignorance of who we truly are, with these core beliefs and to avoid these painful emotions, the mind builds a personality structure around the pain irritant. There are three fundamental personality structures and 2 variations of each, totalling nine that grow in defence around the 3 pains. THE ENNEAGRAM
NUGGET

Learning Objectives
? Have an
The nine types exist in relation to each other. The enneagram is the diagram of this dynamic relationship. Like a circuit each flows and is in contact with others. Here is a brief introduction to the 9 types in their primal groupings. There is a lot of resource on the Internet and in books to learn more. Working out your own type, takes a level of selfawareness and self-honesty. GUT - ANGER TYPES - resisting reality
9
The gut instinct responds to how life impacts them, causes a resistance to reality. Anger rises to the impact. The gut response strategy of the 9 is to withdraw and disappear, to push anger in, and to fall asleep in life to avoid being impacted. Moderate 9 - struggle to know what they really want or who they really are, struggle between feeling anger and wanting to assert themselves but also wanting to keep the peace. Slow to make decisions but when made sticks to it. Salt of the earth people. Reliable, hardworking and natural peacemakers. Sensitive and kind to the feelings of others. Can enjoy the simple things in life, doesn't need fancy things. Chilled and amicable. What helps the 9 move to health is to get to know themselves, to become conscious of their anger and to express it in healthy ways, to get conscious about what they feel, to make decisions and assert their feelings in a healthy positive way, to stop avoiding conflict, to take a stand for themselves and claim a life of living true to their nature. Unhealthy 9 - tries to keep a false sense of peace by stubbornly avoiding conflict and hiding from life. In extremes this can mean using alcohol, drugs, TV, food or any other way to avoid making and impact or being impacted. Covert anger comes out as slow action, sarcasm, and stubbornness. Unhealthy nines struggle to make decisions, sit on mental fences, and they tend to neglect themselves. They can have sudden unexpected outbursts of rage but feel righteous about it to keep their "peacemaker" identity. They hide in routine, and try to get numb to their feelings. They go with the flow of life half asleep, half alive, dull and slow. Healthy 9 - truly peaceful, content and in the flow of life. Looking after the body and not needing to numb the self to avoid impact. Able to assert, to be confident and to feel fully alive and awake to life. Impacting reality by being fully present, bringing wisdom and true peace.
NUGGET

Learning Objectives
GUT - ANGER TYPES - resisting reality

? Have an
8
The gut instinct responds to how life impacts them, causes a resistance to reality. Anger rises to the impact. The gut response strategy of the 8 is to assert power and push anger outwards, to impact reality through control and enforcing 'my way'. Moderate 8 - passionate, natural strategists with strong appetites for life. The 8 starts to struggle with their vulnerable side, trying not to be weak, but feeling their hearts open. Compassion starts to grow, as they begin to really understand others. Now their natural leadership is combined with caring, they can now take themselves and others forward. Anger doesn't rule their lives anymore, and a sword of truth transforms them to samurai with hearts. What helps an 8 move to health is to accept and make peace with their vulnerability. To look more deeply at perceived weakness, and find strength in weakness and weakness in strength. To find honour in the heart and to take a stand in logical absolute truth. Unhealthy 8 - a mafia like persona kill or be killed attitude, where war is sport. Vengeful, with strong instinctive likes and dislikes. Self-driven, projecting an intimidating toughness. Very physical presence, with sudden harsh voice and steely glare when provoked. Single focused pursuit of desires, to the point of obsession, a ruthless attitude to all that stand in the way or are seen as "enemies". A fierce intolerance for weak people, but also a strong protective instinct towards family, friends or anyone they choose to protect. Unforgiving attitude towards being hurt or betrayed, never forgetting and happy to inflict revenge. Healthy 8 - compassion and strength of character make healthy 8 an honest noble leader. Not needing to command respect, they earn it with their courageous integrity and presence. They put down the sword of anger and revenge, take up a sword of truth to guide them to an honourable life.
NUGGET

Learning Objectives
GUT - ANGER TYPES - resisting reality

? Have an
1
The gut instinct responds to how life impacts them, causes a resistance to reality. Anger rises to the impact. The gut response strategy of the 1 is to work hard at being good and maintain high standards in all areas of life, to impact reality by bringing order to chaos imposing the righteous ideal of the 'right way'.
Moderate 1 - the 1 starts to feel the burden of trying to manage the world and carry others responsibility. When will the world ever match their high standards? Efficient, responsible and moral contributors to society and the one that makes things work. Relationships however and health can take strain as there is no time to rest the mind from its demands for perfection. The 1 starts to seek long term solutions and struggles to find an end to the pursuit for order and perfection. Self-doubt is also tiring "is it good enough?" constantly checking and rechecking. Needing external validation for doing it right and not being willing to fully trust their gut instincts without logic to support. The 1 goes on holiday and discovers occasionally full release, they long for this part of themselves, carefree, fun and relaxed. They wonder why they can't have this all the time, but remind themselves of the duties and reality that burdens their days. What helps a 1 move to health is starting to question their own exact and rigid standards of good and bad, right and wrong. Learning to distinguish their burdens from those of others and consciously giving back other people's burdens is vital. Not parenting other adults is also a road to freedom. Unhealthy 1 - the rigid mind holds ideas about what "right and wrong" is, there is no room for middle ground, things are good or bad and there is no room for seeing it any other way. The 1 holds these benchmarks as high standards for itself and for others. A fierce and harsh inner critic rules, pushing the individual to work hard and stress. Seeing the world through critical eyes means imposing this on others, Anger at a world that just does not obey the rules eats up at the 1, and a need to police others into behaving properly drives a burdened life of rigid rules and exhausting standards. The glass is always half empty and others better get into line, or they will hear the complaints and controlled rage until they do. Healthy 1 - has strong values and principles but understands that others have different views on reality and learns to honour other perspectives. Doesn't carry others burdens. Can relax and have fun without guilt or worry. Has work-life balance. Is able to transform systems and make things work, but remains relaxed and unattached to outcomes. Challenges inner critic and becomes tolerant of self and others mistakes and short comings.
NUGGET

Learning Objectives
HEAD - FEAR TYPES - fear and separateness

? Have an
6
The head response to life is that according to the mind, life and others seem separate and therefore can be threatening. Fear rises from the perception of being separate. The mental response strategy of the 6 is to find ways to feel safe in the world, to always watch out for others motives and actions, to develop keen mental alertness and to align with whatever they think might 'keep me safe'. Moderate 6 - questions everything. Stops trying to manipulate the world and others in order to feel safe and starts to become more independent and self-trusting. Starts to feel confident enough to be oneself without having to try look good for others approval and emotional security. Stops looking for others as a place of security and starts to find inner peace. Spends time enjoying being alone and stops mentally grabbing for external sources of strength. Develops discernment and integrity. What helps a 6 move to health is getting information. Using logic and reasoning to challenge the mind's torture chamber thinking. Spending time alone, learning not to cling to others or to the opinion of others but to be self-reliant and self-trusting. Finding inner peace and learning to chill and just be! Unhealthy 6 - continually busy mind, filled with doubt and worry. Feeling unsafe with others and in the world, the unhealthy 6 manipulates and aligns to try to feel more secure. Creates "us and them" divides. Exaggerates self-importance or tries too hard to impress and be the best in order to gain approval to secure social position. Can play 'damsel in distress' or other roles to try win others protection. Paranoid, controlling and untrusting. Aligns with authorities to gain safety, but never trusts authorities. Can undermine others secretly. Healthy 6 - healthy 6 has impeccable humility and serves with grace and care. Their minds are like crystal chandeliers, able to perceive things from many different perspectives and draw out clear thinking and insight. Being internally referenced, the healthy 6 stops seeking externally for support and finds a great resource of inner strength, true courage and peace from within. They speak for what is just and fair.
NUGGET

Learning Objectives

? Have an
7
The head response to life is that according to the mind, life and others seem separate and therefore can be threatening. Fear rises from the perception of being separate. The mental response strategy of the 7 is to run from pain and avoid the unsafe position of being trapped both mentally and physically, by chasing fun, keeping busy, staying positive and developing a hunger for exciting experiences. Moderate 7 - starts to realise that the chase for happiness and excitement is its own trap. Learns to be happy on own and to start keeping mind more focused on one thing at a time. Optimistic and happy, but can face reality also. The 7 starts to settle down, seeing that boredom is only a mental attempt to run and learns to stay more in the present moment. Starts to complete tasks and achieve. Like a breath of fresh air, 7 is eternally young, vibrant and energetic. Full of life, bringing the spirit of play and childlike spontaneity wherever they go. What helps a 7 move to health is to find emotional security in the present moment. To breathe and be here, rather than projecting all the time into imagined tomorrows. To relax into the current task. Breaking down big tasks into bite size smaller chunks and being organised to focus on one at a time. Holding selfaccountable to finish each step properly and taking pride in doing a good thorough job. Spending time alone, meditating or focusing inwards to relax and be can be helpful. Unhealthy 7 - anything to ' keep me from the pain of the' present, the unhealthy 7 is a glutton for the next high. Chasing happiness but never fully being present enough to be there for the moment. The mind like a magpie chases the next shiny object, hungry for happiness, running from sadness and pain. At worst this leads too irresponsible behaviour, broken promises, unfinished business and frequent burnout. Lack of consistent focus and a lack of commitment brings great disappointments when dreams can't be realised because the mental butterfly doesn't stay focused long enough to build them. Lives in tomorrow and when tomorrow comes is disappointed and harshly self-critical. Healthy 7 - the healthy 7 brings their fresh aliveness to whatever they do, but remains fully present and focused until the task is done. They find adventure in simply being alive and not in constantly chasing new experiences. They sustain focus and so see their dreams to completion, and honour responsibilities and commitments. A humanitarian impulse wakes inside them and they now have the focus to actualise their dreamed contribution to the world.
NUGGET

Learning Objectives

? Have an
5
The head response to life is that according to the mind, life and others seem separate and therefore can be threatening. Fear rises from the perception of being separate. The mental response strategy of the 5 is to disconnect from the emotional threat of others, retreating into mental and physical solitude, watching from a mental tower rather than engaging in life. Moderate 5 - the hermit 5 starts to surface and engage in life and relationships. Tempted always to retreat for fear of being overwhelmed by the emotional stickiness of the world, but also wanting to stand up for something. They start to bring their brilliant minds to the world. Leadership qualities start to grow and they step to the plate to be more fully in the world. What helps a 5 move to health is to get in touch with their assertion and anger. Not to run from feelings, but to explore them and allow them to flow. To move into the world, to speak up, to relate and to feel. Unhealthy 5 - analysing and thinking ones way around the emotionally unsafe jungle of life to 'keep me in the emotional safety zone of the mind'. Unhealthy 5 can be removed from engaging in life. Aloof and disconnected, living from the mind and feeling intellectually superior. The risk of unhealthy 5 is to develop a type of 'cold empathy', which means that they can brilliantly understand people but be totally divorced from compassion and feeling. They watch life rather than fully live life. Living in the head, analysing, and disappearing into a fantasy inner world. Healthy 5 - knows what they want and moves into the world to take a stand for their true selves. Allows their sensitive side to be strength. Gets in touch with their feelings and lets their emotions move through them. Shows affection, developing depth of emotion and relationships.
NUGGET

Learning Objectives
HEART - SHAME TYPES - shame and belonging

? Have an
3
The heart response to life and the seeming separateness of others is to desire love and belonging. Shame arises from the interpretation of others behaviours as being unloved or not belonging. The emotional response strategy of the 3 is to do what they need to do to be admired and liked by winning the game of life, to create a persona for others to be seen as the best. Moderate 3 - the 3 develops a conscience and stops cutting corners. They feel a new desire to want to contribute to the world and be of service. To give back and make a difference, rather than just take and win. Now the entrepreneurial talents are aligned to a higher purpose. The 3 becomes a natural leader, working for the team to win and not just self. Focused on action and solutions, they move things forward with speed. Success is inevitable after consistent hard work and focused action. What helps a 3 move to health is to develop humility. To be of service and to focus on quality with achievement. To develop self-worth and to not need recognition to know ones value. To not exaggerate or distort the truth to win. To work with care and honour. To balance life and work and not get tunnel visioned about winning. Unhealthy 3 - to get others to 'see what I need them to see to avoid the shame of feeling inferior and feeling like a failure'. The unhealthy 3 changes and distorts their nature to appear bigger and better. They manipulate others in the game and are not opposed to cheating or bending the rules to win. Constantly comparing themselves to others, looking for ways to get ahead, they can charm when they need to. Natural salespeople, networkers and secretly self-conscious. Healthy 3 - is solution orientated, gets things done and has an impeccable sense of integrity. They balance work with play, spending time relaxing and not being driven 24/7 to success. Service is key moving into doing selfless acts without seeking applause or attention. Letting go of winning and seeing the value in failure. The healthy 3 builds success and becomes a rainmaker for many to benefit.
NUGGET

Learning Objectives

? Have an
2
The heart response to life and the seeming separateness of others is to desire love and belonging. Shame arises from the interpretation of others behaviours as being unloved or not belonging. The emotional response strategy of the 2 is to do whatever I need to do to be loved and liked by others by being kind and giving, to create a persona that is seen by others as loveable. Moderate 2 - a loving, generous spirit starts to realise that they often are unappreciated and starts to sense an imbalance when then give but cannot easily receive. Self-neglect at the expense of looking after others has its toll, and the 2 starts to realise that they need to learn to look after themselves. Learning to not need attention and letting people go about their own lives is difficult but freeing. What helps a 2 move to health is to appreciate their own talents and honour themselves. They need to not help unless asked and to release from carrying others burdens. Learning to love themselves and give time and energy for themselves alone without guilt is key. Questioning their pride, and being willing to catch themselves in the act of imposing "help" is a step. As is expressing their creativity and focusing on themselves instead of others. Unhealthy 2 - unhealthy 2 can manipulate others into ' feeling grateful and being dependent on them so that they feel needed and loved.' hungry for love and acceptance they unconsciously demand attention from others and feel upset without it. The give to be seen as the best givers and are driven by an undercurrent of pride and wounded esteem. They get into other people's business and impose their 'helping', feeling restful and inadequate if their efforts are not acknowledged. Giving compliments and focusing on other's needs to making them feel good has an unconscious agenda of seeing themselves as kind people. Healthy 2 - unconditional love expresses as giving without agenda and without seeking any attention or thanks. The healthy 2 embodies love and is love. So instead of seeking love, which brings out the unhealthy aspects of the point, they simply are love. They say "no" without guilt and spend time, money and energy exclusively for and on themselves. They leave others to their own business without needing to be included and without offering direct or indirect 'help'. They give people space and are content in themselves.
NUGGET

Learning Objectives

? Have an
4
The heart response to life and the seeming separateness of others is to desire love and belonging. Shame arises from the interpretation of others behaviours as being unloved or not belonging. The emotional response strategy of the 4 is to do whatever I need to do to get attention by being different and unique, to create a persona that is seen by others as 'special'. Moderate 4 - the struggle between wanting a life free of pain, and holding onto the pain to reinforce the identity created by the tragic stories of suffering is difficult. They envy those who seem to have a better life and feel hard done by. They may even feel 'entitled', because they feel life owes them. Naturally creative they see things in unique ways and have a lot to offer life, but the clinging to pain and trying to be special can sabotage their ability to bring their creativity to the world in a successful and sustainable way. What helps a 4 move to health is stop self-sabotaging. Getting organised and responsible is extremely important. Honesty is key. Looking at life in a sober, realistic way helps to sort the drama from the truth. Being willing to see oneself as human and ordinary actually releases true brilliance instead of drama created fake 'specialness'. Unhealthy 4 - can manipulate others into feeling 'sorry for them'. Trying to shock others for attention. Trying to distort and dramatize to avoid the feeling that I am fatally flawed and unlovable. Holding on to and exaggerating one's story for attention, and then falling for one's story and building an identity around pain and drama. Clinging to dysfunction to unconsciously feed the desire to be special and different. The unhealthy 4 can become so dysfunctional that they struggle to meet responsibilities and function in life. Healthy 4 - creative, sensitive minds with a subtle awareness that can be channelled into true brilliance. Intuitive and attentive listeners. Now the 4 becomes natural instead of forced, gentle strength instead of victim consciousness. They put their talents to use in the world, contribute and have balanced responsible, honourable lives.
NUGGET

Learning Objectives
? Have an
Although our personality remains as one type throughout the life, we can draw on wings (number to the left and right of ours) and we can become more or less healthy by disintegrating or integrating to two other points on the Enneagram.
INTEGRATION AND DISINTEGRATION The arrows in the Enneagram diagram show how the flow of integration works. They can be reversed, in other words we can also take in the unhealthy aspects of the disintegration point and the unhealthy of the integration point. We don't change our point, but we do naturally move to our healthier expression, when we integrate the best of our integration points.
? 1 disintegrates ? 2 disintegrates ? 3 disintegrates ? 4 disintegrates ? 5 disintegrates ? 6 disintegrates ? 7 disintegrates ? 8 disintegrates ? 9 disintegrates
to 4 and integrates to 7 to 8 and integrates to 4 to 9 integrates to 6 to 2 and integrates 1 to 7 and integrates to 8 to 3 and integrates to 9 to 4 and integrates to 7 to 5 and integrates to 2 to 6 and integrates to 3

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COACHINGl i n t e r n a t i o n a

Empowering you to Empower Others!

ILS EMPOWER Enneagram

What is the Enneagram?

Written by Colleen-Joy Page Copyright 2011 www.innerlifeskills.com

Empowering you to Empower Others!

ILS EMPOWER Enneagram part 1

3 PAIN PEARLS OF PERSONALITY

overview of the Enneagram as a self coaching and coaching process continued

and impact of reality

Written by Colleen-Joy Page Copyright 2011 www.innerlifeskills.com

Empowering you to Empower Others!

ILS EMPOWER Enneagram part 2

overview of the Enneagram as a self coaching and coaching process continued

Written by Colleen-Joy Page Copyright 2011 www.innerlifeskills.com

Empowering you to Empower Others!

ILS EMPOWER Enneagram part 3

GUT - ANGER TYPES - resisting reality

overview of the Enneagram as a self coaching and coaching process continued

Written by Colleen-Joy Page Copyright 2011 www.innerlifeskills.com

Empowering you to Empower Others!

ILS EMPOWER Enneagram part 4

GUT - ANGER TYPES - resisting reality

overview of the Enneagram as a self coaching and coaching process continued

Written by Colleen-Joy Page Copyright 2011 www.innerlifeskills.com

Empowering you to Empower Others!

ILS EMPOWER Enneagram part 5

HEAD - FEAR TYPES - fear and separateness

overview of the Enneagram as a self coaching and coaching process continued

Written by Colleen-Joy Page Copyright 2011 www.innerlifeskills.com

Empowering you to Empower Others!

ILS EMPOWER Enneagram part 6

HEAD - FEAR TYPES - fear and separateness

overview of the Enneagram as a self coaching and coaching process continued

Written by Colleen-Joy Page Copyright 2011 www.innerlifeskills.com

Empowering you to Empower Others!

ILS EMPOWER Enneagram part 7

HEAD - FEAR TYPES - fear and separateness

overview of the Enneagram as a self coaching and coaching process continued

Written by Colleen-Joy Page Copyright 2011 www.innerlifeskills.com

Empowering you to Empower Others!

ILS EMPOWER Enneagram part 8

HEART - SHAME TYPES - shame and belonging

overview of the Enneagram as a self coaching and coaching process continued

Written by Colleen-Joy Page Copyright 2011 www.innerlifeskills.com

Empowering you to Empower Others!

ILS EMPOWER Enneagram part 9

HEART - SHAME TYPES - shame and belonging

overview of the Enneagram as a self coaching and coaching process continued

Written by Colleen-Joy Page Copyright 2011 www.innerlifeskills.com

Empowering you to Empower Others!

ILS EMPOWER Enneagram part 10

HEART - SHAME TYPES - shame and belonging

overview of the Enneagram as a self coaching and coaching process continued

Written by Colleen-Joy Page Copyright 2011 www.innerlifeskills.com

Empowering you to Empower Others!

ILS EMPOWER Enneagram part 11

overview of the Enneagram as a self coaching and coaching process continued

Written by Colleen-Joy Page Copyright 2011 www.innerlifeskills.com

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