K.O.T.A (Novel On Struggle of IIT Aspirants of India)

K.O.T .
A
Kiss Of T he Angel

A j ourney of an I I T aspi rant

Kshitij M all

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Kshitij M all
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Musi c by
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Contents
Acknowledgements ...............................................................i
D edicated to ................................................................... i i i
PROLOGUE ................................................................ 1
1. I N CEPTI ON ........................................................ 4
2. VI GYAN N AGAR ............................................... 7
3. 513-RAN K OR ROLL N O.?................................ 9
4. SATTU BH AI YAS RAGGI N G ........................ 11
5. VECTORS-1 ....................................................... 14
6. VECTORS-2 ....................................................... 17
7. SAN GAM MESS ................................................ 20
8. APQ..................................................................... 23
9. WH OSE PI TCH I S THI S ?Part 1 .................... 26
10. WH OSE PI TCH I S THI S?Part 2 ..................... 29
11. YES SI R .............................................................. 32
12. MI -1 ..................................................................... 34
13. OM CI NEPLEX ................................................. 37
14. SH UFFLED ........................................................ 40
15. SPLI TSVI LLA .................................................... 43
16. PH ODU .............................................................. 45
17. N AYI PAD OSAN .............................................. 48
18. MATRI X ............................................................. 50
19. SORRY BH AI ! .................................................... 53
20. FI GH T CLUB ..................................................... 56
21. YE K ATTA......................................................... 59
22. CH ULH A PATAK DI YA .................................. 62
23. F.R.I .E.N .D .S ...................................................... 65
24. F.I .R ..................................................................... 68
25. VALED I CTI ON ................................................ 71
26. GI RL I N GREEN .............................................. 74
27. MI SSI ON N ASA, LAN D I N G K OTA .............. 77
28. SH E BE THE ON E ........................................... 79
29. SQUI N T FACTOR-THE FEAR FACTOR ...... 81
30. JAB WE MET ..................................................... 84
31. WH AT I S LOVE? .............................................. 88
32. BLACK BI RTH D AY ......................................... 91
33. H UM TUM ......................................................... 94
34. CRUSHED .......................................................... 97
35. MEMEN TO...................................................... 100
36. LB BYE! SMI TA H I ! ........................................ 103
37. PRE-D I WALI ................................................... 106
38. WH EATOS OR CHEATOS? .......................... 109
39. GUN D EY ......................................................... 112
40. COUNTER STRI K E ....................................... 115
41. K EED A ............................................................ 118
42. BF ...................................................................... 120
43. BAAZ I GAR ...................................................... 123
44. MAI D ................................................................ 126

45. FLOOD ............................................................ 129
46. JOH N Y GAD D AR .......................................... 132
47. SPLI TSVI LLA-2 ............................................... 135
48. UN STOPPABLE .............................................. 138
49. PARAN ORMAL ACTI VI TY .......................... 141
50. MI SS GURUK UL ............................................. 144
51. TH E SOCI AL N ETWORK ............................. 147
52. FI N ALLY A POET .......................................... 150
53. MAH ASH I VRATRI ......................................... 152
54. SH ES GOT TH E LOOK ................................ 155
55. SLUMD OG MI LLI ON AI RE .......................... 158
56. D REAMGI RL .................................................. 161
57. MATRI MONY CLASS .................................... 163
58. H OLI H AI ! ....................................................... 166
59. PHYSI CAL ED UCATI ON ............................. 169
60. I N D OOR CRI CK ET ....................................... 172
61. SCAN D ALS OF K OTA .................................. 175
62. BOARD S-2005 ................................................. 178
63. SCREEN I N GS-2005 ........................................ 180
64. JUD GEMEN T D AY ........................................ 183
65. VALED I CTI ON -2 ........................................... 186
66. 2
nd
I N N I N GS ................................................... 188
67. ORK UT ............................................................ 190
68. YAH OO! ........................................................... 192
69. I N FATUATI ON ? ............................................. 194
70. WELLEN .......................................................... 196
71. RS CON FI GURATI ON .................................. 198
72. AGS LI ST......................................................... 202
73. D ATE WI TH HER D AD ................................ 205
74. D OSTAN A ....................................................... 208
75. BACK STREET GI RLS .................................... 210
76. MAI D -2 ............................................................. 213
77. 300 ..................................................................... 216
78. RD B................................................................... 218
79. QUOTA H I K E ................................................. 221
80. TH E ULTI MATE SOLUTI ON ...................... 224
81. YFE ................................................................... 227
82. LAST CH AN CE ............................................... 231
83. VALEN TI N ES-1 ............................................. 234
84. VALEN TI N ES-2 ............................................. 237
85. VALEN TI N ES-3 ............................................. 239
86. VALEN TI N ES-4 ............................................. 242
87. VALEN TI N ES-5 ............................................. 245
EPI LOGUE-1 .......................................................... 248
EPI LOGUE-2 .......................................................... 250
Gl ossary .................................................................... 256

Acknowledgements
My si ncere thanks to Bansal Classes f or
maki ng me what I am today. Thanks to Purdue
Uni versi ty f or accepti ng me as i ts part and givi ng
me 23 i nspi ri ng N ASA astronauts i ncludi ng N ei l
Armstrong as al umni . Thanks to I nf osys f or
hel pi ng me hone my wri ti ng ski ll s al ong wi th my
codi ng skil l s. My proof readers D r. N eehar Si nghal ,
D r. Pranava Manj ari , Mi ss Varti ka Si ngh, Mr.
Arpi t Mathur and Mr. N i ti sh Si ngh i mmensel y
i mproved thi s novel and gave valuabl e i nputs.
A warm thanks t o Mr. Rahul K umar, f or
hel pi ng me at a cri ti cal ti me.
Thanks to my f ri ends Abhay Si ngh, Rahul
Raghuwanshi , Pi yush Prasad, Vi pul Patel , Vi bhore
Mathur, Arpi t Mat hur, Si tanshu D as, Mudi t
Mangal , Abhi shek Sharma, Vi vek Poddar, N i tesh
K umar, Akhi l K harub, Saurabh Audhi chya,
Ari hant Jai n, Ankur Si nha, N i l aksh N ag, Anki t
Fogl a, Vi neet Goyal , Prabal N egi , Ani sh Anand,
Ravi Verma and Sachi n Jai n, who f ormed a part of
my l i f e at K ota.
A speci al thanks to Sweti ka Sachan, who
i nadvertentl y hel ped me, a l ot.
I am reall y proud to be a student of D r. V.K .
Bansal , Mr. Shi amak D avar, D r. Sonal Raj ora, D r.
C.V. Chandrashekhara, Mr. Prashant Chauhan,
D r. Pushkar Rai , Mr. Si ddharth Premi , Mr. Shi shi r
Mi ttal , Mr. Suyash Pratap Si ngh, Mr. Ami t Gupta,
Si ster Phi l o, Sister Phi l omene, Mrs. Ruben, Mr.
Santhosh Berne and Mr. K art hi k Puttaswamy. My
mi croscopi c achi evements are al l a resul t of your
macroscopi c ef f orts.
i i Acknow l edgement

Thanks to Gaurav Ludhi yani (Lui ) f rom Verne
Entertai nments and Ri shabh Gupta f or hel pi ng
me wi th the ti tl e song of t hi s novel . Varti ka Si ngh,
Akhi l Gupta, Akansha Si ngh, D i vyendra Si ngh,
Abhi shek Gupta, Vi neet Goyal , Anand K umar,
Abhi shek Sri vastava, Raonak Shukla, Pooj a
Bhagchandani , Sharad Si ngh, Abhi shek Sharma,
Ankur Sri vastava, Adi tya Prasad, Adi tya Vardhan
Si ngh, Stuti Jaiswal , Prati bha Vaj peyi , Adi ti Rana,
Sparsh Goel , Vi shal Verma and Shubankar Saxena
encouraged me by parti ci pati ng i n my vi deo
shoots f or the trai l ers.
Thanks to Aami r K han, Sachi n Tendul kar, D r.
APJ Abdul K al am and Anna H azare Ji f or
i nspi ri ng the youth of thi s nati on. Thanks to
Youth For Equal i ty f or f ighti ng agai nst i nequali ty,
corrupti on and terrori sm.
I strongl y condemn hurti ng ani mal s i ncl udi ng
pi gs. I dont bel i eve i n ghosts and Pl anchette. I
abhor caste system and I have given my personal
vi ews on i t. Work i s my reli gi on and H i ndustani i s
my caste. Thi s is purel y a f i cti onal story that
conveys my message f or my countrymen.
Please refer to the glossary for easy
reading.

D edicated to

My teachers f rom Bansal Cl asses, Mount
Carmel Convent School , JSSATE N oi da, I nf osys
Technol ogi es Li mi ted, SD I PA who taught me al l
i mportant l essons of l if e.

My dad, D r. V.P. Mal l , who has al ways been
my hero f or hi s pri nci pl es and hi s f i ghti ng spi ri t to
save thousands of li ves.

My Angel , Mi ss Varti ka Si ngh.

My mot herl and, whi ch def i nes my very
exi stence.

PROLOGUE

Jan 6, 2009
I boarded an AC three ti er sl eeper coach of
Poorva Express at D el hi . I pref erred AC coach
because
1. I t f orbi ds the entry of General Cl ass and
Wai ti ng Li st Passengers. W ai ti ng l i st i s a voi d term
i n i ts di cti onary. Sl eeper Class bogi es are f l ooded
wi th torrents of wai ti ng l i st passengers and l ocal
passengers. About general cl ass coaches I can say
j ust one thi ng-
T he D egr ee of F r eedom of M ovement i n a gener al cl ass
coach i s zer o.
2. A trai n j ourney through N orth I ndi a i n
wi nters can f reeze you to deat h, even i f al l the
doors and wi ndows of the sl eeper coach are
properl y cl osed. A smal l sl i t i s always l ef t open f or
the not ori ous chi l l y breeze to break through and
make you shi ver, setti ng your mobi l e body t o t he
vi brator mode.
Soon t he secti on of my compartment got f i l l ed
wi th the temporary owners of t he berths. The
secti on compri sed of ei ght berths- two each of
l ower, mi ddl e and upper, a si de l ower and a si de
upper. I l ove to be temporary owner of upper
berth as I can sl eep on i t anyti me at my wi l l . The
worst i s mi ddl e berth si nce i t requi res a request
proposal to others to shi f t f rom t he l ower bert h
over whi ch i ts f oundati ons are to be l ai d. An
addi ti onal ef f ort to i nstal l the mi ddl e berth has to
be taken. Who wants to work agai nst gravi ty?
2 Kshi t i j M al l

And unf ortunatel y I was the temporary owner
of the worst.
Then a l ady entered wi th many bags and the
whol e secti on was f i ndi ng i t hard to accommodate
them. A gi rl came strol l i ng toward her and started
adjusti ng thi ngs. A young chap was si tti ng i n f ront
of me. Two uncl es, one Punj abi and another
Bengal i , were si tti ng by my si de.
I borrowed upper berth f rom that l ad f or a f ew
hours and read D ecept i on Poi nt . I hate bori ng trai n
j ourneys. So I started chatti ng wi th that l ady. She
tol d me t hat she was returni ng f rom K ota and was
headi ng toward H owrah.
So what were you doi ng at K ota? I asked.
Actual l y my daughter took coachi ng f or I I T-
JEE there, she repl i ed.
Whi ch coachi ng center?
Gurukul ! The best f or I I T-JEE.
H ow coul d I ever for get i t ? I smil ed.
So you know Gurukul? the gi rl i nqui red i n
exci tement.
I ts popul ar i n the whol e nati on. Who woul d
know i t better than me? I was i ts part f or three
years, I clari f i ed.
The gi rl was exci ted to meet another of her
speci es, the Gurukul i tes.
Whats your name? I asked.
Varsha. And yours?
AkashAkash Mal hotra.
Meanwhi l e others were f eel i ng bored and
i rri tated. Those two uncl es were then on the upper
berth, sl eepi ng. Varsha was si tti ng f aci ng me and
her mom was sl eepi ng next to her. The l ad was
si tti ng besi de me.
K.O.T.A 3

Peopl e see resul ts. They never care f or what
af f ects those resul ts, I commented.
Yeah! They never see the magni tude of our
ef f orts, Varsha sai d.
They j ust ask whether you passed or f ai l ed,
the l ad poi nted.
As the j ourney i s l ong enough, can I tell you
an i nteresti ng story centeri ng around Gurukul ? I
asked.
Why not? Carry on, Varsha sai d.
The l ad nodded.
Whats your name dude? I asked.
Vi pi n.
As he was not f ami li ar wi th K ota and i ts terms,
I deci ded to narrate my story i n detai l . Sound of
trai n acted as i ts background musi c.
K ota
4 Kshi t i j M al l

11th Class Series
1
I N CE PT I ON

Kot a.
The abode of study.
Study of al l ki nds- medi cal sci ence,
engi neeri ng, commerce, management and most
i mportant of al l , the study of l i f e. A place where
t he best dwell .
Where study is the l if eli ne of al l f orms of
busi ness. From a tea stal l to a newspaper vendor,
f rom a stati onary propri et or to gami ng zones,
f rom l andl ords to bookshops, f rom mess centers
to ci nema hal ls- al l owed thei r exi stence to i t.
I always had the noti on of two types of
academi c l if e-school l i f e and col l ege l i f e. But then
I came to know about the thi rd.
I n I ndi a, the wei ght of a school bag f i ll ed i n
accordance wi th the monot onous ti me-tabl e of
the school i s more t han t hat of the student
carryi ng i t. But I was al l eviated of that wei ght.
I was there to gi ve the entrance test of the best
i nsti tute f or I I T- JEE preparati on not onl y i n
K ota but al so i n I ndi a.
Gurukul . I t sounds l i ke Guru Cool , f ul l of cool
gurus. I ts a f unny thi ng that even f or Gurukul
there were speci al coachi ng centers t hat trai ned
students to get i nto i t.
I checked i nto hotel Vi kranta Palace, at a
walki ng di stance f rom the stati on. I di dnt have an
i ota of knowl edge about I I T-JEE and Gurukul . I
K.O.T.A 5

j ust knew one thi ng- to get i nto I I Ts wi th a good
rank, get i nto Gurukul .
The scene around the stati on area i ncl udi ng
the hotel was that of peopl e scurryi ng about l i ke
mi ce. But there was al ways somethi ng to l ook
f orward to. Mango Shake, made of real pul p. I t
contai ned 99.9% mango and rest sugar. The
quanti ty and quali ty of the shake can quench
anyones thi rst.
At the test center I saw f or the f i rst ti me i n my
l i f e, a huge crowd of cl ai mants of the f ew seats of
the best I I T-JEE coachi ng i nsti tute of I ndi a. The
crowd was a di rect i ndex of the popul ati on of
I ndi a. I never expected such a high l evel of
competi ti on at an i ni tial stage. But I always
bel i eved i n the sl ogan of Mountai n D ew- D ar r Ke
A age Jeet H ai (Fi ght Fear). The questi on paper
took me wi th surpri se. At school s, usuall y students
score f ul l marks. But at K ota, i n the exam hal l I
f el t cheated. That was a l ess f ri endl y worl d than
the school . At school I was a pri nce and t here I
was rendered a popper. I was stri vi ng hard to wi n
that battl e of wi ts and consi dered mysel f a Sol di er
Of F or t une.
F or t une favor s t he brave.
I thought I di d i t. My expressi ons were just li ke
those of Sreesanths, as i f I made Adam Gi l i chri st
bol d out f or a duck.
I had my l unch at a restaurant nearby. There I
saw f ami li ar f aces, competi ng wi th me a f ew
mi nutes ago.
I was back to N agpur awai ti ng resul ts.
A week later
6 Kshi t i j M al l

A phone cal l f rom my Uncl e who saw my
resul t on the i nternet.
Congratul ati ons!
A sci nti ll ati ng word f rom hi s mouth that sent
shi vers down to my spi ne.
You have been sel ected i n Gurukul .
I t was equi val ent to a tri p to Mars f or me. I
was ready f or a rol l er-coaster ri de i n a total l y ali en
worl d. I was too exci ted to f al l asl eep that ni ght.
A week later I hopped i nto Chennai Jai pur
express to reach K ota Juncti on at 2:30 A.M.
K.O.T.A 7

2
VI GYAN N AGAR

T o-L et .
That board was f ound outsi de each house. I ts
a common practi ce to rent certai n rooms t o
students to save tax and f or securi ty. Landl ords
usuall y pref erred the ground f l oor f or thei r f ami l y.
At many pl aces I f ound an i i nserted i n To-Let t o
make i t Toi Let, whi ch prompted many common
peopl e to uti l ize i t f or such purposes.
Academi c popul ati on of K ota was
concentrated at a pl ace whose very name was
sci enti f i c- Vigyan N agar. I got a room i n 1-PA-90.
H ouses i n K ota f oll ow H i ndi l etters nomencl ature
and my respect f or peopl e t here grew because of
i t.
H i story suggests that Vigyan N agar and i n f act
whol e K ota compri sed of si ngl e f l oor househol ds.
But academi c revol uti on l ai d the f oundati on stone
f or the f uture skyscrapers of K ota. The hei ght of
the bui l di ngs i ncreased day by day, so much that a
competi ti on started amongst them.
Competi ti on.
The word i s at the heart of K ota. I f one wants
to know the real def i ni ti on of competi ti on,
wel come to K ota. I ts among students, l andl ords,
restaurants, i nsti tutes, i nternet caf es and what not.
K ota breathes competi ti on as i ts oxygen.
When I stepped i nto 1-PA-90, I f ound bi cycl es
of vari ous ki nds- Ranger, Sl i m and Sporty,
standi ng on the ground f l oor as i f f or some
exhi bi ti on. These are t he basi c means of t ransport
8 Kshi t i j M al l

used by students. I went upstai rs to f i nd two
rooms present outsi de the sub-entrance of f i rst
f l oor. Two guys were standi ng there at the
bal cony, t hei r f aces stari ng at me and f i l l ed wi th
questi on marks all over.
W ho i s he? W her e di d he come fr om?
I ski pped to my room, whi ch was the f i rst one
f rom t he sub-ent rance. Af ter dumpi ng my l uggage
there, I came out. On movi ng ahead, I f ound two
more rooms f aci ng each other. There were two
attached common bathrooms adj acent to t he
washbasi n near my room. Pri vacy was at stake
wi th such an arrangement of bat hrooms that
al l owed one to peek through the other si de.
I saw a boy hol di ng the recei ver of t he l andl i ne
phone and cryi ng. H i s mom was probabl y at t he
other end. H e was af f ected by home si ckness. Hi s
name was Preet.
I n t he eve, I came out f or a strol l to check out
shops nearby. I di scovered an astoni shi ng f act. I n
one si ngl e shop you can get pens, Maggi ,
Mattresses, I ce-creams and what not. Peopl e there
tal ked sense, sci ence and busi ness. Sci ence was an
i ntegral part of t hat sci enti f i c soci ety. I was goi ng
to be i ntroduced to many more terms i n the
comi ng i ntroductory meet.
K.O.T.A 9

3
513-RAN K OR ROLL N O.?

I ntroductory M eet of Gurukul at I P School
I t was the school that hel d the L i mca Book Of
Recor ds f or the hi ghest popul ati on of mosqui toes.
N o school coul d ever match the staggeri ng f igure
of mosqui to to student rati o as i t di d there.
Af ter wai ti ng i n a l ong Q f or nearl y an hour, I
managed to grab hol d of a seat i n the f ourth row.
H ave I t o compet e wi t h t hese many student s for t he
whol e year ?
I was ignorant of t he f act that they compri sed
a mere
7
30
% of the net I I T-JEE appl i cants across
the country. For the ti me bei ng, t here were j ust
700 extra-ordi nary peopl e i n the audi tori um (audi ),
shari ng a seat wi th me.
I was si tti ng besi de a short statured l ad.
H i ! he sai d.
H i ! We had a handshake.
N aveen f rom Meerut. And you?
Akash, f rom N agpur.
D o you have any i dea why we are si tti ng here?
I asked.
Probabl y we are bei ng al l otted batches, he
guessed.
Batches?
I had no pri or i dea about that term, an i ntegral
part of Gurukul goi ng to be associ ated wi th us al l .
Parents, pl ease vacate seats f or the students as
thi s meet i s meant f or them. Students are requi red
to come and col l ect the i ntroductory sheet af ter
10 Kshi t i j M al l

thei r name i s announced. Pl ease mai ntai n
decorum i nsi de the audi ti l l you are here, a voi ce
commanded.
I t was f rom the vocal cords of t he most
powerf ul personal i ty of K ota- D r. Tayal Si r, the
f ounder and chai rman of Gurukul . H e was i n hi s
f i f ti es but his voi ce was much younger.
One by one, the sheets were di stri buted. Some
f el t el ated, some di spi ri ted. Both f eel i ngs were a
ri ddl e to me. Fi nall y my name was announced. I
j umped f rom my seat to f etch the sheet. But I got
a three di gi t code i nstead of any batch no.
513.
W hat was t hat? M y G ur uk ul r ol l no. or t he sheet
ser i al no.?
N aveen came gl ari ng at the three di gi t code
wri tten on hi s sheet. H e hi t the ground i n despai r.
507. The code on hi s sheet.
F-7! Shi t! I cant bel i eve i t, he sai d.
I was total l y puzzl ed. F-7?
I consol ed N aveen by putti ng my ri ght hand
on hi s shoul der.
I s 507 your new seri al no.?
H e gl ared at me. Oh! Those l ooks of hi s, j ust
l ike a dragon ready to burn me wi th the f i re i nsi de
hi m. I kept my l i ps seal ed. Hi s wei rd l ooks were a
di rect i ndex of the stupi di ty of my questi on.
Whats your number? he asked.
513, I repl i ed i nstantl y. So what does i t
mean?
N aveen then had a hand shake wi th me. I was
sti l l cluel ess. Buddy, we are i n same batch and 513
i s your rank.
What?
K.O.T.A 11

4
SAT T U BH AI YAS RAGGI N G

Gurukul was the abode of t op rankers and my
pl ace was 513 among 700 such top brai ns. Whol e
Vi darbha woul d have cursed me f or such resul ts
as I was the top gun to represent t hem.
I kept mysel f l ocked i nsi de my room f or hours
ti l l a knock at my door f orced me t o open i t. I di d
have a peculi ar habi t of bei ng shy among strange
f aces and there was a threshol d af ter whi ch I
mi xed up. The door that got rusted by the
moi sture of ti me unvei l ed the mi schi ef hi dden
behi nd.
H i chap! Woul d you mi nd j oi ni ng us f or some
f un? Preet asked, breaki ng the si l ence.
U s?
Jp
6
0
= us
where is any natural number greater than one
and dp i s the change i n t he number of persons, as
f ar as i ntegrati on goes. That was f or the f i rst ti me
I espi ed mischi ef i n Saahi l . H e was one of us.
H ave you ever heard t he remi x versi on of t he
song G umnaam H ai Koi (ti tl e song of Bol l ywood
horror movi e Gumnaam)? he asked. I was
cl uel ess.
H e rushed to hi s room and returned wi th a
bl anket. Preet came up wi th a candl e and a match
box. Thei r eyes poi nted toward the door of the
smal l est room of all , i n f ront of Preets.
Lets do a l i ttl e raggi ng of Sattu Bhai ya (SB),
Preet proposed.

SB was i n 12
th
cl ass and i n L-4 batch, t he
f ourth best i n L, M, N seri es. SB was taki ng a nap.
H i s sl eepi ng posture remi nded us of JAN A-
GAN A-MAN A pose, as i f N ati onal Anthem was
pl ayed just bef ore he was to f al l asl eep. H is body
remai ned sti f f .
Shi t, the wi ndows are cl osed! Saahi l
excl ai med.
Let me take care of thi s si tuati on. Saahi l , you
start danci ng l i ke a wi tch. I woul d wave thi s
burni ng candl e. Lets si ng i n uni son. Whats your
name buddy?
Akash Mal hotra, I repl i ed.
H i s eyes gli ttered wi th l uster of mi schi ef that
compel l ed me to parti ci pate.
Gumnam H ai K oi (Someone i s anonymous).
Everybody on t he f l oor, Saahi l sang li ke a perf ect
bathroom si nger.
Bad name i s somebody. Com n, com n. Yo!
Preet remi xed.
Shut up! Let me sl eep, SB yell ed. I j ust turned
up f rom an exhausti ng cl ass.
Saahi l l oved watchi ng peopl e getti ng f rustrated.
Wake up Sattu! A beauti f ul wi tch i s danci ng
on her toes. Your perf ect match i s out here, Preet
shouted.
Asshol es, I m comi ng to break your butt, SB
roared as he woke up.
We al l spread randoml y li ke mol ecul es of gases
tryi ng to f i l l the vacuum of my room. Saahi l sl i d
bel ow my bed and Preet, behi nd my wardrobe.
The onl y unhi dden f ol der i n the system was me,
on my study chai r.
K.O.T.A 13

SB entered my room l i ke G abbar of Shol ay (A
scene f rom one of the best Bol l ywood movi es of
al l ti mes).
Ki t ne A admi T he? (H ow many men were
i nvol ved?)
Two, I repl i ed.
Where are they?
I was studyi ng f or the past f ew hours. N o
i dea.
Asshol es kil l ed my sl eep! Anyways, I have to
get ready f or the next exhausti ng cl ass.
Preet and Saahi l were soon out.
Wel l done, actor! You saved our butt, they
sai d, patti ng my back.
They tol d they were of Apri l sessi on batches,
rangi ng f rom D -1 to D -5 and E-1 to E-5. Saahi l
was i n D -4 and Preet i n E-4. The threshol d of
detachment was crossed and we became good
f ri ends.
I soon understood t he meani ng of exhausti ng
cl asses, the next day.

5
VE CT ORS-1

Good morni ng cl ass. I hope you al l are wel l
acquai nted wi th the basi c concepts of U ni t s and
D i mensi ons, my f i rst Physi cs teacher at Gurukul -
K i shore Gupta (K G), who l ooked more l i ke a
col l ege chap sai d. H is eyes propagated waves of
i ntel l igence and sharpness amongst hi s pupi ls.
I got mysel f pl aced i nside cl assroom no. 9 af ter
standi ng f or hal f an hour i n a l ong Q.
Psychol ogi call y i ts l ength amounted to a li ght year.
Af ter a l ong wai t when a Q used to be rel eased,
i t was as i f gates of a dam were l et open and the
cl assroom was f l ooded wi th students, each
struggl i ng to get a seat of his/ her choi ce.
Usuall y gi rls si t i n the f i rst f ew rows.
L adi es fi r st .
Mal e teachers were i ts strong proponents.
Thei r ef f i ci ency i ncreased by a f actor G (G i r l s
Const ant ), whi ch made them teach bet ter by gazi ng
at gi rl s.
The regi on where t he gi rl s were seated was
termed as G -Spot . A boy f ound si tti ng i n that
regi on was termed as Bhai ya (el der brother), t he
brot her of al l gi rls. N o boy coul d ever l ove to get
hi msel f def i ned by that term.
A smart, short statured but extremel y hypnoti c
personal i ty was si tti ng beside me.
H el l o! I started.
H i ! Arpi t, he i ntroduced.
Akash. N i ce to meet you.
What was your score i n 10
th
Grade Exams?
K.O.T.A 15

94%, and yours?
92%, he answered.
D o you have any i dea whats goi ng on?
H e shrugged.
Si nce there are no concepts i n thi s chapter, so
I thi nk K G has swi tched onto Vectors, he
guessed.
K G al ways bel i eved that cl ass shoul d be
del ivered i n accordance wi th the l evel of students.
But the l evel at whi ch he t hought us to be was too
hi gh. So he accel erated hi s l ecture bus to f ul l
speed. H i s words def l ected 90 degrees above my
head and so none were penetrati ng i nsi de.
D i d you understandanythi ngat al l ? Arpi t
asked. H is hypnoti c smi l e became evanescent.
N ow take a f ew probl ems, K G sai d.
I hate the word Pr obl ems. Teachers have thi s
bad habi t of i ntroduci ng Pr obl ems i n the smoot h
runni ng l ives of thei r students. They make
students l i f e compl ex by i ntroduci ng chapters l i ke
Compl ex N umbers. I was si tti ng j ust behi nd t he
G -Spot . I saw a gi rl solvi ng probl ems at a rapi d
speed.
A gi r l can sol ve t hese si l l y pr obl ems but I can t !
Gi rl s are supposed to be better i n memori zi ng
thi ngs. Many gi rl s are good at probl em sol vi ng
too, l i ke the one i n f ront of me. But boys do have
an ego probl em that they are better i n tackl i ng
probl ems, whether or not t hey real l y are.
I was getti ng f rustrated as those probl ems
pummel ed my brai n l i ke M i k e T yson. I then rai sed
my ri ght hand.
Si r, I di dnt understand a bi t of thi s cl ass.

Every eye of G -Spot was then stari ng at me.
K G i ndi rectl y gl ared at me through the G -Spot .
Everyone was expecti ng hi m to decapi tate me. A
moment of si l ence prevail ed, l ike that bef ore a
wi ld tycoon.
I was teachi ng f or an hour and now you dare
say that you dont understand a bi t, he expl oded.
Si r, your l ecture bus ran too f ast f or me to
catch, I said.
And who el se mi ssed thi s bus?
Two more hands went up.
There were many hands that were sti l l down
because nobody l oves to get ri di cul ed.
Everyone has an addi ti onal homework now
because of these three guys. Just go t hrough
Vectors chapter i n H CV. I f you sti ll have doubts,
do ask i n the next cl ass, he announced.
I came out of the cl assroom utteri ng-
Somebody hel p! Pl ease teach me vectors.
K.O.T.A 17

6
VE CT ORS-2

I f el t gui l t ri dden f or not concentrati ng
properl y i n t he cl assroom. I det ested bei ng
scol ded i n studi es.
I came back to f i nd SB, Preet and Saahi l
mi ssi ng f rom thei r rooms. Al l possi bl e doors of
hel p were cl osed except one that prompted me t o
knock on i t. I t was the f i rst room f rom t he
entrance, to the l ef t of Saahi l s. I t was a j oi nt
possessi on of Praf ul l Bhai ya (PB) and Lal l an
Bhai ya (LB). Both were repeat ers at Gurukul .
Repeaters are ones meant not to repeat t he
mi stakes of thei r past as they know very wel l of
whats not to be done.
From the i nf ormati on (i nf o) I gathered f rom
Saahi l , LB was a maveri ck. H e had the habi t of
l aunchi ng hi msel f i nto controversi es through hi s
statements. One such controversi al statement he
made by decl ari ng that Mi chael Jackson was more
good l ooki ng than Bri tney Spears. PB was always
i n the opposi ti on party of LB i n t hose
controversi es. Sti l l they were uni ted, as i f gl ued by
Bondti t e. LB was a M anmauji (whi msi cal ), i n short.
But he was damn i ntel li gent.
PB was a musi cahol i c. H e had a musi c li brary
wi th a wi de range of musi c col l ecti on. H e also
rel i shed chatti ng at i nternet caf and endeavored
to i ncrease the number of gi rl f ri ends he had.
About studi es he knew just one thi ng-
One day i s enough t o cr ack ex ams or t o mak e a
gi r l fr i end.

A young guy wi th a hai rstyl e si mil ar to SRK s
opened t he door. H e was one of those f aces I saw
earl i er.
Praf ul l Bhai ya? I asked.
By then another f ace came to peek outsi de. I t
was of LB.
Yes, what can I do f or you? PB asked.
I m i n a big mess. Can you do me a f avor? Can
you teach meVectors?
Are you nuts? hi s f aci al expressi ons i ndi cated.
Tal k somethi ng rel ated to me gi rl s, f l i rti ng,
dati ng etc.
H e shi f ted hi s eyes onto LB who had no i dea
of what was to happen next. PB rai sed hi s hand to
poi nt hi s i ndex f i nger at LB maki ng hi m f eel guil ty
of a cri me that he di d i nadvertentl y.
Cri me of bei ng i ntel l igent.
LB i s the one you are l ooki ng f or. H es D exter
i n i t, he recommended.
Unwil li ngl y, LB made a move. H e used to wal k
l ike a ball et dancer, usi ng hi s toes and f oot-f i ngers
i nstead of whol e f eet.
The battl e started wi th LB backi ng me up wi th
hi s f orces. I sat on my study chai r. LB sat on t he
bed cl ose to i t. The bi bl e of Physi cs f or I I T-JEE
aka H CV (a popul ar book by D r. H .C. Verma)
was opened.
Vector i s somet hi ng that has both magni tude
and di recti on. For exampl e Force. Addi ti on of
Vectors, LB taught nonstop.
I t l ooked as i f he had been teachi ng i t f or
years. But hi s speed was even greater than that of
K G and that made me f eel di zzi er. H i s class was
over wi thi n a mi nute. G one i n 60 seconds!
K.O.T.A 19

I kept my eyes cl osed f or a f ew seconds. I was
f i ghti ng a l one battl e. A moment comes i n
everyones l i f e when she t hi nks she can do t he
i mpossi bl e.
Suddenl y f aces of those mocki ng me i n t he
cl assroom f lashed i n my mi nd. And then I opened
my eyes. I started studyi ng vigorousl y and
concentrated very hard. I revi sed the concepts
thri ce and wi thi n 45 mi nutes, I was abl e to sol ve
each and every questi on of H CV. The battl e was
over. I won agai nst Vectors. I came to know that
real l y, nothi ng i s i mpossi bl e. At l east I must gi ve i t
a try.
I was el ated. I reali zed that I made my success
a Vector quanti ty. I t had some magni tude and I
al so gave i t a di recti on.
Forward.

7
SAN GAM M E SS

Akash, i ts ti me f or lunch, Saahil announced.
A l unch was a ni ce way to cel ebrate my vi ctory
over Vectors. I came out.
TodayMonday Raj ma (beans) ri ce. Wow!
Preet wondered.
Saahi l s tongue went round hi s l i ps. N o doubt,
Sangam was the best i n the town.
The concept of the mess system was qui te
si mpl e. There was a counter at the ground f l oor
where we had to pay our monthl y charges, whi ch
used be around 1000 Rupees. I n l i eu of i t we got
coupons f or t he whol e mont h wi th date and ti me
durati on pri nted on them.
We reached the mess on our bi cycl es and
parked them i n the Parki ng Lot. Mess
management had appoi nted a man f or the securi ty
of bi cycl es. Preet was aghast at the dreadf ul sight.
Saahi l was l ef t wi th no words i n hi s mouth t o spel l
that gory si ght. And then I saw i t.
A l ong Q. Peopl e cal l i t a l i ne. I t was a curve, as
f ar as Math i s concerned. That l i ne emanated f rom
the f i rst f l oor and t hrough t he stai rs i t stretched
down to the road.
H ow l ong woul d i t take? Saahil wondered.
Preet shrugged.
Af ter nearl y twenty mi nutes, we got seats t o
begi n the ri tual commonl y known as Pet Puj a
(tummy worshi p).
Sangam means to uni te. Anal ogi cal l y, Sangam
mess uni ted hungry stomachs cravi ng f or tasty
K.O.T.A 21

meal s. Ram pl aced three pl ates on our tabl e. H e
was one of the servi ng staf f workers. Four l arge
steel bowl s were kept on the tabl e. One had Raj ma
(beans), second ri ce, thi rd Rai t a (I ndi an Yogurt)
and f ourth Al oo (potat o). Sel f servi ce was to be
f ol l owed.
Sangams Rai t a is the best i n I ndi a, Saahi l
decl ared.
I noti ced that every di sh was tasty and hygi ene
was mai ntai ned, a must to appease hungry
students. Ram turned up wi th Chapati s (f lat-
breads). They were a matter of concern as t hey
were consumed at a rapi d speed and were not
repl eni shed qui ckl y enough, j ust l ike conventi onal
resources of energy. Wai ti ng f or l ong peri ods f or
them caused wi de spread di scontent among
hungry students.
H ey! Our mess has gone I nternati onal . Even
N epal ese and Chi nese are i n the mess staf f , li ke
Ram, Preet uttered. Ram trul y was a Sangam of
Jacki e Chans l ooks and Sal man K hans T er e N aam
hai rstyl e.
Wi ll i t be thi s tasty throughout the year? I
asked.
N ever questi on the consi stency of three
thi ngs- Present Austral i an Cri cket teams
perf ormance, Gurukul s I I T-JEE resul ts and
Sangams meal s.
Af ter havi ng my hand wash, I saw M eal -T abl e
of Sangam hung on the wall .
D AY LUN CH D I N N E R
MON D AY RAJMA (BEAN S),
RI CE
MARATH I
SPECI AL
TUESD AY CH HOLA, RI CE GUJRATI
SPECI AL

D AY LUN CH D I N N E R
WED N ESD AY TI N D A,
CH APATI
PUN JABI
SPECI AL
TH URSD AY PALAK PAN EER
(SPI N ACH &
COTTAGE
CHEESE)
RAJASTH AN I
SPECI AL
FRI D AY BH I N D I (LAD Y
FI N GER), RI CE
CH I LLAY,
SWEET
BREAD
SATURD AY ALOO, PAD VAL
(SN AK E GOURD )
BEN GALI
SPECI AL
SUN D AY SOUTH I N D I AN
SPECI AL
OFF

OMG! I s thi s real l y a mess? I doubted.
Spl endi d!
The worst part of the menu i s T i nda (I ndi an
Baby Pumpki n). I ts j ust li ke f easti ng upon a
grasshopper, Saahi l sai d. Preet showed
expressi ons of nausea.
Fi nall y I had a si p of water. Even i t had a good
taste. I t was puri f i ed f rom an R.O. pl ant i nstal l ed
on the f i rst f l oor of the mess. Accessori es l i ke
l emon squeezer and sugar bowl were always
present to make l emon water.
Sangam was a deli ght i n our busy l ives and I
was desperate to come back there soon, to have
my di nner.
K.O.T.A 23

8
APQ

Af ter havi ng a sumptuous banquet at Sangam,
who woul d not l ove to take a nap? But when
APQs are i n f ront of you, t hey can scare t he sl eep
out of you.
Akash! I need t o di scuss somethi ng wi th you,
very seri ous, Preet yell ed outsi de my door.
H e was i n E batch and so was a seni or to me.
Thei r course had a good pace. I f thei r pace was to
be compared to t hat of Mcgraths (best Austral ian
cri cket bowl er), ours was of Bret Lees (Austral i an
f ast cri cket bowl er).
H ow many APQs di d you get ti l l now? he
asked.
Two, I repl i ed.
Lucky! he excl ai med. I got f ive APQs today.
I n I ndi a, peopl e have t hi s habi t of boasti ng
about the work l oad that rests upon t hem. I n
student communi ty, t he more t he quanti ty of
home work handed over to, the more you boast of
i t.
Preet was then l yi ng on my bed and I was on
my chai r.
D o you know the concept behi nd APQs?
I s there a concept behi nd thi s too? I asked.
Once you start l i vi ng i n K ota, you start
googl i ng f or concept behi nd each and everythi ng.
Gurukul was f ounded i n 1980s wi th the ai m to
restore t he teacherstudent rel ati onshi p and
i nti macy that exi sted i n the past i n f orm of
Gurukul s, Preet tol d.

I kept my homework i n abeyance. Preet was
narrati ng li ke a new concept f or E k t a Kapoor s dai l y
soap. I wonder why seri al s are cal l ed dai l y soaps.
They dont cl ean anythi ng save our sensi bil i ti es.
Gurukul had onl y one student i n the
begi nni ng. But by D r.Tayal s i ndef atigabl e ef f orts
and that students dedi cati on, he cl eared I I TJEE
i n hi s very f i rst attempt and si nce then Gurukul
never l ooked back, he conti nued.
A new concept of A ddi ti onal Pr act i ce Quest i ons
(APQs) and Beat T he H eat (BTH ) ori gi nated. APQ
contai ns probl ems suppl ementary to the cl ass
probl ems and BTH i ncl udes I I T-JEE ori ented
questi ons i n the f orm of exerci ses, i ts exerci se I I
meant f or those prepari ng f or Ol ympi ads.
Saahi l was overheari ng us f rom outsi de my
door. H e stepped i nsi de; hi s entry aki n to a guest
appearance i n a Bol l ywood f il m.
The l evel of APQs has been rai sed by f i l li ng i t
wi th the toughest questi ons. I t takes an average
student around f ive hours to solve one such
APQ, he sai d. H e dramati zed the si tuati on the
way T ony G ri eg hypes about Sachi n T endul k ar s (best
cri cket batsman i n the worl d) def ensi ve shots. I f
you have a common col d, Saahi l can make you
f eel l ike an H I V+ .
So i f we get f i ve APQs a day, i t means, I
gul ped.
25 hours f or an average student, Saahi l
cal cul ated.
Beware Akash! Thi s i s just the begi nni ng. Start
counti ng your days. Wi thi n a week the amount of
your APQs woul d i ncrease and so Preet
warned.
K.O.T.A 25

Tensi on, f rustrati on Saahil said.
So what shoul d we do to f ree oursel ves f rom
i ts shackl es?I asked i n an attempt to change the
topi c.
Cri cket, the best opti on! Saahi l repl i ed
i nstantl y.
Thats a great i dea. But I m not a good pl ayer,
Preet sai d.
I l l trai n you. What about you Akash?
I m an al l -rounder; a very acti ve f i el der
i ndeed.
Ready f or a match? Saahil asked.
Yeah! Preet and I yel l ed.
My APQs were l ef t pendi ng as a resul t and
started turni ng i nto- Al ways Pendi ng Questi ons.


9
WH OSE PI T CH I S T H I S? - Part 1

D i d you keep the bal l wi th you? Saahi l
shouted f rom the bal cony.
We were outsi de the gate, wai ti ng f or Saahi l .
Our l andl ord came out f or a li ght chat.
Taki ng rest f rom studi es? I ts ni ce f or a
change. By the way there are many parks i n K ota
to pl ay. Just dont get hurt, he sai d.
D on t worry, Uncl e. We wi ll play sl owl y, wi th
cauti on, I assured.
But I m a f ast bowl er. H ow can we pl ay
sl owl y? Saahil i nterrupted.
Uncl e, i n whi ch company do you work? I
asked to change the topi c.
I work at MTN L. I m at manageri al posi ti on
and , l andl ord was not yet over when another
voi ce overpowered hi s.
Praf ul l , l ets go! LB shouted.
PB usuall y took an hour to get ready as i f he
was out f or a date. We al ways i nf ormed hi m of
our pl ans at l east an hour pri or to the actual
departure ti me. A mi rror and a comb al ways
accompani ed hi m.
A park i n the nei ghborhood wel comed us wi th
i ts cover of green grass. I t was basi call y meant f or
ol d peopl e to strol l i n the eveni ng and f or smal l
chi l dren to pl ay, not at al l f or cri cket mani acs li ke
us. LB was j oggi ng unsteadil y, warmi ng up, as i f
an i nternati onal match was to be played.
The pre-requi si te f or any cri cket match i s a
pi tch. I t shoul d be sui tabl e f or bot h batsman and
K.O.T.A 27

bowl er. So the search f or the most sui tabl e spot
on the park as a pi tch started.
The hunt was over and we f ound two spots.
The choi ce was then made on the basi s of chances
of bal l goi ng outsi de and the stumps were f i xed on
the pi tch t hat had l esser chances of the bal l goi ng
out. Si nce the park was very small , a short run-up
was the onl y opti on f or f ast bowl ers. N o Shoai b
Akhtar (f astest cri cket bowl er i n the worl d) coul d
be ever born out of such a park. H e never
compromi ses wi th hi s run up, but we had to. The
boundari es to deci de 4s and 6s were very cl ose to
the pi tch.
The most exci ti ng thi ng was the ambi ence. For
Saahi l , there was one more thi ng to cheer about.
Gi rl s.
Parks attracted gi rl s to take a strol l . A gi rl s
hostel f l anked the ground. They were st rong
proponents of these cri cket matches and acted as
cheerl eaders l ike the ones i n I PL (I ndi an Premi er
League). Another i nteresti ng f act about t he park
was i ts name- Maj or Chauhan Ground (MCG).
A ti ri ng yet i nevi tabl e task was to f orm two
teams. Saahi l and LB vol unteered to be captai ns.
The teams were deci ded.
LALLAN BOYS LB (CAPTAI N ), JOH N Y,
PB, PREET.
SAAH I L GAN G SAAH I L (CAPTAI N ),
AK ASH , N I LESH , PLUMBUM.
N i l esh, Johny and Plumbum were f ast f ri ends
of Preet and Saahil and so were i nvi ted f or that
match. Pl umbum was si x f eet f our i nches tall and
so was ni cknamed i ni ti al l y Lumbum (a ni ck name
f or tal l guys i n I ndi a) and then Pl umbum by

Saahi l . N i l esh was a f oodi e but hi s physi cal
appearance never suggested hi s l ikes.
When I met Johny f or t he f i rst ti me, I got an
i mpressi on that he was a nerd.
H ey guys! I m l ate because of that bori ng
Physi cs Ol ympi ad. Anyways, whats the program?
he sai d on hi s arri val to the park.
Al l of a sudden some l ocal chaps arrived wi th
thei r ki ts.
A young boy wi th a moustache came f orward
and sai d, I ts our pi tch.
WTF! We came here f i rst, Saahi l rebel l ed.
I m Shontu. We pl ay here dai l y. Lets have a
match to deci de whose pi t ch i s t hi s. We wi n you l eave
and vi ce versa.
Okay, done! we all shouted i n uni son.

K.O.T.A 29

10
WH OSE PI T CH I S T H I S? - Part 2

SB j oi ned the party.
H i s entry was equi val ent to a 12
th
man of a
cri cket team. We all wished to have hi m as a
cheerl eader i nstead of a player duri ng the course
of the match.
I woul d al so pl ay, SB demanded. We were l ef t
wi th no other choi ce.
Match began. We l ost the t oss. Shontus team
el ected to bat f i rst.
I l l bowl f i rst, Saahil decl ared. LB protested
but was abetted by PB.
Some very anxi ous moments appeared i n the
match l i ke one when the bal l hi t a gi rl sun baski ng
on her terrace.
You bastards, l ook! You f ractured my
daughters skull , vi cti ms mother yel l ed.
I cl eared my spectacl es (specs) i n di sbel i ef .
Unbel i evabl e! The ball hi t her arm and that too
wi th the sli ghtest of touches. I saw her hol di ng her
head i nstead of her hands and i mprovi si ng a ni ce
drama of agony.
I ndi a s G ot T al ent !
A pl ayer f rom the batti ng si de l of ted the bal l
and Oops! H e di d i t agai n. Ball bounced onto
Chawl a Uncl es terrace.
H e came out cursi ng al l the pl ayers and headed
toward Johny wi th the bal l i n one of his hands.
D i d your parents send you here t o pl ay and
l oi ter? he asked angril y.
Yes, any probl em? Johny repl i ed.

D on t you have any manners?
Sorry Uncl e, we dont!
Then f uck of f , he cursed.
H e hi t t he bal l on t he ground i n desperati on.
We grasped the ball , out of hi s reach.
A surpri si ng moment arri ved when gi rls came
out on t he gi rl s hostel bal cony. I t was a bi g
questi on whether they came to watch the match
or l ads.
I f ound our team pl ayers maki ng spectacul ar
ef f orts to catch t he attenti on of t he gi rl s. Af ter al l
they were boys. Even PB di ved to take Monsi eur
Shontus catch t o di smi ss hi m i n Jont y Rhodes (the
best cri cket f i el der i n the worl d) styl e. A f at gi rl
f rom t he gi rl s hostel crowd j umped i n j oy, so
much that a sei smi c center was created at the spot
of j ump. We coul d al so f eebl y f eel the earthquake
waves. I asked the boys t o cool down so as t o
avoi d such di sasters.
My advi ce had i ts greatest i mpact on SB who
l ef t the worl ds easi est catch. The bal l went
strai ght up i n the ai r above SB and l anded on hi s
pal ms. But then, he di d t he unf orgi vabl e. H e spl i t
open hi s pal ms and the bal l f el l down. Second
i nni ngs started. Saahil and I opened f or our si de.
Sl owl y, we were marchi ng toward vi ctory.
Fi nall y we were l ef t wi th one bal l , one wi cket
and one more run to wi n. Preet was the l ast
batsman. Anyone batti ng at such a stage of t he
game woul d have l oved to take a si ngl e and f i nish
i t all . But Preet hi t i t hi gh over the gi rl s hostel , and
the bal l hal ted nearby Saha mansi on.
SB and I ran upstai rs and met a gi rl on t he
second f l oor, sl ightl y el der to us.
K.O.T.A 31

Aunti e, our bal l came i n by mi stake. Coul d we
go i n and col l ect i t? SB requested.
Fi rst of al l you hi t a bal l on our terrace and
then you dare to cal l me A unti e. D o I l ook one?
she barked.
My smi l e mul ti pl i ed her anger many f ol ds.
Sorry D i di (el der si ster). I t wont be repeated.
Al l ow us to take the ball and go, I appeased her.
Af ter gatheri ng t he bal l we ran downstai rs
shouti ng, Bye A unt i e. We reached the ground
gaspi ng f or breath.
Match was a draw. Whats next? Preet
i nqui red.
Run, A unt i e i s comi ng! SB warned.
And Uncl e too! I sai d.
Moutherf uckers. I woul d ri ng to the pol i ce.
They wi l l teach you a l esson, Saha Uncl e shouted
f rom outsi de the park boundary.
Everybody had a spri nt f or l i f e. G one i n 60
seconds!
But the questi on was sti ll very much al ive
W hose pi r ch i s t hi s?


11
YE S SI R

A l ong Q bef ore APQ di stri buti on desk
mai ntai ned by Bapan made me wonder why t he
students were so desperate to col l ect the APQs.
I dashed toward cl assroom no. 9 af ter
col l ecti ng the APQs.
Physi cs cl ass. I got seated besi de Arpi t.
D one wi th your homework? he asked.
Yes, but I do have a f ew doubts.
Me too. H ow many doubts do you have? he
i nqui red.
I n K ota, theres competi ti on i n everythi ng.
Fi ve doubts. What about you?
Three doubts. Anyways, how do you f eel
about K ota? I t has been a month now.
I l ike the crowd here, everyone busy yet so
hel pi ng, I repl i ed. I ni ti al l y I was hi t by a f eel i ng
of home si ckness but the dai l y dose of APQs
scared i t of f .
But I m pretty upset because someone stol e
my bi cycl e. I had to buy a new one.
Cl ass began.
These are the answers f or APQ no. 6. You
may now cl ari f y your doubts. Lets go one by one.
Questi on no.1? Any doubts? Lets move ahead.
Yes Si r, a voi ce ami dst G-spot catal yzed K Gs
reacti on.
Questi on no. 2? D one?
Yes Si r, that same voi ce yell ed agai n.
D uri ng the whol e di scussi on many hands got
rai sed, many doubts were cl eared, but a pecul i ar
K.O.T.A 33

f emi ni ne voi ce ended each questi on wi th Y es Si r .
Arpi t got f rustrated si mpl y because that gi rl had
no doubts what so ever and he had three.
The cl ass got over and we had a f i f teen
mi nutes recess. We then shi f ted to cl assroom
no.7. Unf ortunatel y, i t was agai n a doubt sessi on
of Pr ot ov s Logari thm (L og) Exerci ses by SP
(Shai l esh Pratham).
I ni ti al l y we consi dered l ogs to be the toughest.
Then we got an FYK I f rom D -E batch students
that Exerci se -I I of Tri gonometrys BTH was the
toughest nut t o crack. Exaggerati on was always
associ ated wi th i t.
Topper of G ur uk ul solved i t i n f i ve hours,
cracki ng 28 out of 30 nuts, a l ower batch student
gossi ped.
A chap f rom the l ast batch compl eted whol e
of Exerci se -I I , an upper batch student cl ai med.
Look at her! N o doubts at al l ! I thi nk she
ref erred to the answers f rom D -E batch students.
Lets see i f she has got a doubt i n thi s sessi on,
Arpi t commented.
Questi ons 1 to 30? SP shouted.
Si nce around 200 questi ons were to be
di scussed, so the probabi l i ty of havi ng doubts
i ncreased. For f our questi ons we heard no Y es Si r .
T o er r i s human and human she was. Arpi t was
maki ng f un of her. We f el t so i rri tated that we
ni cknamed her Y es Si r .
We came out of the cl assroom af ter t he
grueli ng doubt sessi on.
What say? Another doubt sessi on? Arpi t
asked.
N o Si r, I sai d f or a change.

12
M I -1

Akash, di d you see the noti ce board t oday?
Arpi t asked.
N ot yet. Anyt hi ng speci al?
We were si tti ng i n cl assroom no.9 t o att end
our Physi cs cl ass. I used to see the noti ce board
onl y af ter the cl asses got over.
Our f i rst test i s on Jul y 31, j ust 20 more days,
Anki t declared. I t was equival ent to
You are f ound gui l ty of your cri mes and
thereby you are sentenced to be hanged ti l l death
on Jul y 31, j ust 20 more days. The court i s
adj ourned.
Beads of perspi rati on f ormed bel ow my
hai rl i ne i n anxi ety.
H ow about your preparati ons? he asked.
Anot her mi ssi l e launched by hi m.
Pre.preparati ons? Cool ! 20 days are too
many. We woul d get bored, I repl i ed.
Who was I ki ddi ng wi th? I had not f i ni shed
even 1% of the course and was boasti ng of a
revi si on.
Great! Pl anni ng f or a f l ight to the f i rst batch,
arent you? I havent even started. I m somewhat
tensed, he sai d.
And Y es Si r ? I asked, archi ng my brows.
I n 20 days she woul d compl ete at l east 20
ti mes revi si on, I bet, he clai med.
But why di d I menti on her? To save my ass
was more i mportant at that moment. I had no i dea
K.O.T.A 35

how to propel my preparati ons i n the ri ght
di recti on. Two thi ngs were goi ng on i n my mi nd-
1. I al ready have much homework i n store, i n
the f orm of APQs and BTH .
2. I have to prepare f or the exams, not j ust f or
one but three subj ects.
Stop t hi nki ng! I ts ti me to act, my i nner
consci ence tol d me.
Af ter t he cl ass I came back to my room and
started studyi ng non-stop as i f there was no dawn.
Fi nall y the day of exam came.
My preparati ons were OK types. I was happy
that at l east I sol ved the probl ems on Vect ors and
Logs. The zeni t h of my success was cracki ng the
f i rst probl em of I r odov (one of the toughest
probl em books on Physi cs) and sol vi ng 10
probl ems out of 30 i n Exerci se I I of
Tri gonomet ry BTH . Arpi t and I hurri ed t o t he
exam centre whi ch was agai n at I P School , the one
wi th the l argest mosqui to popul ati on i n the
academi c worl d.
Each exam was of subj ective type wi th ti me
durati on of two hours. The f i rst was Math. I t took
me by surpri se as some of t he questi ons were
typi cal l y hard. But I kept my cool as I knew the
f act that I was al ready i n a l ower batch and a bad
perf ormance won t push me down any f urther. I
went on cracki ng one nut af ter the other.
Second came Chemi stry and l ast was Physi cs.
I di dnt have enough ti me to recheck my
sol uti ons and so I wasnt that conf i dent about my
perf ormance as I used to be i n school exams. I
j ust kept my cool til l the exams got over.

The moment I was out of the exam hal l I f el t a
great rel i ef , same as one f eel s whi l e peei ng. Many
students kept di scussi ng and debati ng about the
questi ons and thei r answers. I detested di scussi ons
as they were not goi ng to al ter my answer sheet.
But I admi t t hat at ti mes they can l ead to a bett er
and shorter method f or sol vi ng a probl em.
I was wonderi ng when I woul d be agai n i n the
exam hal l on my mi ssi on i mpossi bl e, MI 2. I was
soon goi ng to have added mi ssi ons to those
exams.

K.O.T.A 37

13
OM CI N E PLEX

A knock at my door.
I knew i t was Preet. Af ter a peri od of ti me you
can recogni ze a person even f rom hi s knocki ng
styl e. I opened the door to f ace a f usil lade of
questi ons.
1. H ow was your exam?
2. Can you show me your questi on paper?
3. H ow many marks do you expect?
4. D o you know about the bi ggest mul ti pl ex
here?
The l ast questi on i nterested me. For two
mont hs I di dnt watch a movi e.
Om Ci nepl ex i s the i deal desti nati on f or al l
movi e f reaks of K ota, Saahi l declared. H e was
one such f reak and boasted that he can watch
three D VD s back to back i n one si tti ng.
I thi nk Chal t e Chal t e got rel eased recentl y. Lets
watch i t. I l ove SRK, I suggested.
Just the movi e shoul d be worth each penny,
Saahi l sai d.
Preet ran to hi s room and came back wi th the
Sunday Ti mes Of I ndia to read the Movi e Revi ew
Secti on. Jury revi ews and assigns stars to the f i l m,
rati ng i t f rom 1 to 5. Chal t e Chal t e f etched 3 stars
and was watchabl e.
We have to wal k ti ll I P Chowk to catch an
auto. So be f ast, Preet cauti oned.
We were soon cl ad i n atti re that made us f eel
l ike we were out f or a date wi th some pretty gi rl s.

PB, SB and LB di dnt j oi n us as they had exams.
Whi l e walki ng downstai rs we saw landl ord
peeki ng out.
Where are you boys goi ng? he asked. H e had
a pecul iar Raj asthani accent that was easy to
mi mi c.
Uncl e, we are goi ng to watch a movi e at Om
Ci nepl ex, Preet repl i ed.
Lets move on! We are getti ng late, I
remi nded. D ont worry Uncl e! We wi l l be back
soon.
Wi thi n 25 mi nutes we were at Om Ci nepl ex.
I t compri sed of three screens-SA T Y A M ,
SH I V A M , SU N D A RA M .
Outsi de, there was one counter f or each
screen, and a di gi tal di spl ay board hangi ng above
them di spl ayed the seat avai labi li ty status f or the
f i l ms bei ng run. Ti ckets were avai labl e wi th
current booki ng and advance booki ng opti ons.
Unf ortunatel y, Chal t e Chalt e was runni ng i n
SUN D ARAM, the smal l est screen. So we were
goi ng to mi ss the real taste of Om Ci nepl ex i .e.
SATYAM, the bi ggest one.
Movi e began. Preet and Saahi l whi stl ed even
on V i cco V aj r adant i adverti sements. The sound
system was D ol by D i gi tal . Fi l m was qui te
entertai ni ng but mi ssed l ogi c at ti mes.
I N T E RVAL
At ref reshment corner we di scovered the pri ce
of Samosa to be f i ve ti mes t hat of Br i j wasi s
(popul ar mi lk product and snack center at K ota).
We deci ded to compromi se wi th an I ce-cream,
whi ch was a f i xed pri ce i tem.
K.O.T.A 39

Af ter a f ew twi sts and turns the movi e had a
happy endi ng, as expected.
We hi red an auto ri ckshaw (auto) ti ll I P Chowk
and then came t o our rooms Chal t e Chal t e.
D i scussi ons were i mperati ve i n K ota, af ter exams
and movi es.
The marri age scene between SRK and Rani
took pl ace at an unreal i sti c qui ck pace, Saahi l sai d.
Anyways, we enj oyed the tri p. Thats more
i mportant, Preet sai d.
I was agai n readi ng the movi e revi ew secti on
of Ti mes Of I ndi a.
Charl i es Angel s, rel easi ng next week, I
i nf ormed.
Advance booki ng? Saahi l proposed.


14
SH UFFLED

Exams are essenti al l y f oll owed by i mpendi ng
resul ts and student communi ty i s more nervous
f or the l atter as they strongl y bel i eve i n H ei senber g s
U ncer t ai nt y Pr i nci pl e.
Physics Class
What are your aggregate marks ti ll now?Arpi t
asked.
Chemi stry 38, Math 25, a net di sappoi nti ng
total of 63 out of 150.
My total 36+ 38= 74, he tol d. I congratul ated
hi m.
Physi cs abhi baak i hai mer e dost (Physi cs resul ts
are sti ll not out), he poi nted.
K G ent ered wi th a bundl e of answer sheet.
The most awai ted resul t was to be di scl osed. Arpi t
went to the l ast row t o be al one, f ar f rom al l eyes
gl anci ng over his answer sheet.
Rol l no. 2453 was call ed and the answer sheet
was passed on f rom the f i rst row til l the l ast row
l ike a rel ay race of the answer sheet.
Yes! a voi ce excl ai med f rom the l ast row.
I t was Arpi t, j umpi ng i n elati on. That was the
real f l avor of achi evement.
I f el t very happy f or hi m.
H ow much? I asked.
64, he repl i ed.
Rol l no. 2421 was then cal l ed. I t was mi ne.
Resul t was on i ts way, f rom the f i rst row to t he
second and so on. Lakshya saw i t and gave a bl ank
expressi on. Then he passed i t back. I f everyone
K.O.T.A 41

was goi ng to see my resul t and then pass i t on, I
was surel y goi ng to change the name of
A ROU N D T H E W ORL D I N 80 D A Y S t o
A ROU N D T H E BA T CH W I T H 80 H A N D S.
My batch had strengt h of 80 and everyone was
uti li zi ng one hand f or passi ng, the l ast hand bei ng
mi ne f or accepti ng the resul t. I came out of my
i magi nati on to real ize that the answer sheet was
sti l l orbi ti ng the classroom.
Resul t was then i n my hands. My heart was
ready to j ump out of my ri b-cage. I t was a nai l
bi ti ng moment.
Marks were not etched on t he f ront sheet. I
scanned the answer sheet to di scover a two di gi t
number pri nted as a secret code at t he top of t he
l ast page.
64.
H urrah! I exclai med.
M or e t han t he aggr egat e of t he r est t wo subj ect s!
Ti ck marks decorated the pages as I re-scanned
the answer sheet.
Af ter t he cl ass got over, students crowded at
the noti ce board. N ew batches were al l otted to al l
as per t hei r scores i n t he test. The l i st was
di spl ayed on the noti ce board.
Arpi t el evated to the f i rst batch whi l e I was a
new member of the second. Lakshya al so shared
the same batch wi th me. We were among the top
100 brai ns. I met N avi n. H i s resul ts were
outstandi ng i n all the t hree subj ects. H i s rank was
11.
To congratul ate hi m I put my right hand
f orward. But he l ooked at me as if we never met.
H e ski pped f rom the si te. Even a beggar gets a

better treatment t han what I met. H e was di f f erent
f rom the N avi n I met on the day of i ntroductory
meet. I i gnored that i nci dent and I i gnored N avi n.
I erased hi m f rom my document s of l i f e wi th a
si mpl e step- Shi ft + D el et e. I came home wi th t he
news of batch shuf f li ng and recei ved a warm
treatment f rom one and al l .
Wel l done Akash! Saahi l congratulated. But
wheres our treat?
A treat i s i mperati ve af ter every good resul t. So
I had to sponsor a l i ght treat f or al l housemates.
But I never knew my happi ness was goi ng to be
ephemeral .

K.O.T.A 43

15
SPLI T SVI LLA

Mi mi cki ng someone i s f un f or many. There i s
a thi n l i ne of di sti ncti on between mi mi cry and
mockery and f or t he one bei ng i mi tated; i ts no
f un when hi s/ her ego is at stake.
That was the bone of contenti on between me
and Saahil . Preet and I used to mi mi c our
l andl ord and Saahil , the most. Even L B was not
spared. To mi mi c SB was not a great deal . The
toughest part was to i mi tate PB.
Mi mi cki ng i s the process of f i l teri ng out some
pecul i ar attri butes of a person bei ng mi mi cked. I n
a way i ts not bad to mi mi c, as i t compl i ments
uni queness of a person. But not everyone takes i t
sporti ngl y enough, as they mi stake i t to be
mockery. Saahi l was one such. H e used to make
f un of others by generati ng f unny ni cknames f or
them. When i t was hi s turn to be on the recei vi ng
end, he protested. H e gave enough reason to
retal i ate.
On one sunny day, af ter our cl ass got over, we
were havi ng some l ight moments i n LB cum PBs
room. They were out f or a movi e. Saahil was
standi ng near the bal cony. SB was more i nterested
i n studi es and so he kept hi msel f l ocked i nsi de hi s
room, swi mmi ng i n the ocean of books l yi ng
therei n.
As we were getti ng bored we started
mi mi cki ng and di scussi ng f unny trai ts of our
l andl ord. Saahil was overheari ng us and when hi s
chapter i n our book of mi mi cry was opened, he

came cl oser to our door. I t was f ool i shl y open t o
carry the sound waves f rom our vocal cords,
whi ch were goi ng to hurt his eardrums.
Saahi l has a peculi ar laughi ng styl e and he uses
the word l og baag f requentl y i n hi s speech, Preet
commented.
Yeah! L og Baag the garden of peopl e, I
shouted.
A moment of si l ence prevail ed and then
The door was ki cked open by a hi t f rom t he
boots of Saahil . As the last sentence was uttered
f rom my mouth, he came hasti l y toward me.
Who the hel l do you thi nk you are?
I m Akash.
Preet smi rked, i nf uri ati ng hi m even more and
he was red wi th rage.
I l l break your l i mbs i f you repeat any of my
words agai n. And don t ever tal k to me, he
shouted.
Why are you cursi ng me al one? Others too
make f un of you. I f you want to beat me, you are
wel come. I too am not dyi ng to tal k to you.
Shut up! he exclai med.
When you cal l others by names that of f end
them, t hey take i t sporti ngl y. Then why dont
you? I asked.
H e glared at me and went back to hi s room. I
was very upset. H e has pr obl ems j ust wi t h me. W hy
di dn t he say anyt hi ng t o Pr eet ?
LB and PB arri ved af ter an hour of t he
i nci dent. Preet reported the matter to t hem. They
tri ed to make a patch up between us. But we bot h
had ego probl ems t hat kept the di f f erences al i ve
and our house got a new ni cknameSpl i tsvil la.
K.O.T.A 45

16
PH OD U

Phodu.
An i ntegral term of the academi c l if e at K ota.
I ts of ten mi sunderstood as someone who
breaks or damages thi ngs. I was one such i gnorant
person. For me Saahi l was a Phodu ready to break
my l i mbs af ter that Spl i tsvil la epi sode.
I kept questi oni ng others about i ts real
def i ni ti on f or l ong, ti l l one day I got rewarded by
that term, on sol vi ng a tough I rodov probl em. LB
tol d me about i ts real def i ni ti on that day.
A Phodu has an abi l i ty to do anythi ng above
average, anythi ng whi ch onl y a f ew coul d do. I
met many Phodus i n my j ourney at K ota by then.
Some of them i nspi red me whi l e many others
surpri sed me.
1. Sudhanshu Asrani
H e was f ortunate t o be born i n K ota and i t had
certai nl y af f ected hi s genes. H e was the most
popul ar student of Gurukul . H e was i nvi ted to
compete wi th repeaters and he was always ready
f or any chal l enge. Once he scored 248/ 252 i n an
obj ecti ve test that was a record of Gurukul . We
i nvi ted hi m f or a cri cket match. But hi s gave an
unexpected repl y.
I di dnt score f ul l and so wont j oi n. Y e D i l
M aange M or e! (Thi s heart craves f or more!)
2. N ibha Gupta
She won accol ades f or her consi stentl y
extraordi nary perf ormance i n Math. I n other

subj ects too, she scored wel l but her Math got her
a posi ti on i n top ten i n Gurukul .
An i nci dent connected bot h of us. I was
accel erati ng my bi cycl e to reach cl assroom as soon
as possi bl e. I parked i t besi de hundreds other.
Unf ortunatel y the gravi tati onal f orce pl ayed
wi th i t i n a way that i ts stand was not abl e to
wi thstand i ts wei ght. I t sl i pped onto t he
nei ghbori ng bi cycl e, aski ng a f avor to support i ts
wei ght. But i t too ref used and then-
H usha, Busha! T hey al l fal l down.
That day I underst ood the concept of H eat
Conducti on and W aves practi call y. I ski pped wi thout
anyones noti ce. And then what I saw was even
worse.
A boy was spri nti ng and behi nd hi m, bi cycl es
were f al li ng down i n the same f ashi on. Two waves
were then t ravel li ng, one started f rom hi s bi cycl e
and one f rom mi ne.
Waves here,
Waves there.
One thi ng common,
Bi cycl es f all i ng everywhere.
I entered cl assroom no.7 t o f i nd that answer
sheets of recentl y conducted test were distri buted.
N i bha Gupta. 44. Congratul ati ons! You
topped agai n, SP declared.
I got 26/ 60, whi ch was a Phodu resul t
consi deri ng l evel of the paper. I was agai n near my
bi cycl e, surpri sed to f i nd all the bi cycl es standi ng
upri ght wi th pri de.
H ow many marks di d you get? N i bha asked
as she came cl ose to me.
K.O.T.A 47

H er questi on made me rotate my head i n al l
di recti ons to search f or a deservi ng candi date f or
that questi on.
K yun N amak Pe Jal a Chidak Rahi H o (Why
putti ng sal t on my wounds)? I responded.
She smi l ed at my response. She t hought me t o
be some Phodu topper.
Congratul ati ons! All the best f or f uture, I
ended up.
3. Anchit
H e was a batchmate of mi ne i n F-2 and cousi n
of N i bha. H e al ways advocated that i ts not
necessary to attempt every questi on but t o
maxi mi ze number of correct sol uti ons wi thi n the
sti pul ated ti me.
I f I sol ve f our questi ons i n an hour and you
sol ve f ive i n f our hours, I am more ef f i ci ent as I
sti l l have three more hours.
4. Arpit
Theres no shortcut to success. You have to
work hard, he sai d.
I met many more Phodus, many whom I knew
onl y by f ace. I came to meet the most beauti f ul
Phodu soon.


17
N AYI PAD OSAN

09:00 A.M .
I was standi ng near the bal cony when a horn
grabbed my attenti on. I t was f rom a Scooty, t he
worst of the two wheel ers as f ar as boys are
concerned but t he best compani on of gi rl s on
roads. These pett y t hi ngs separate boys f rom gi rl s-
Sporty Vs D el i cate.
The owner of the Scooty was a pret ty young
gi rl . I had not seen a beautif ul gi rl l ike her bef ore
i n K ota. Whil e Saahi l and Preet declared K aj al to
be the Ai shwarya Rai of K ota, I f el t that Scooty
gi rl was a more deservi ng candi date f or that ti tl e.
At f i rst I thought her t o be some rel ati ve of our
nei ghbor. LB came out of hi s room. Si nce I was
stari ng at her, hi s eyes i ndi rectl y moved toward
her. H e smi l ed.
Fol l ow me, qui ck! he commanded.
We were then i nsi de his room.
D o you know who she is? he asked.
Some rel ati ve of our neighbors?
You are absol utel y wrong. D ont you f i nd her
genes stri ki ngl y di f f erent f rom them? She i s a
compl ete mutati on as f ar as they are concerned.
Guess what?
I arched my brows.
Shes Bhawna, 21st ranker of our batch, R-1.
Bhawna D i di (BD ). She was amongst the most
beauti f ul cum i ntel li gent gi rl s of K ota. She was
two years seni or to me and was a Phodu i n a real
sense.
K.O.T.A 49

Accordi ng to Saahi l s pri nci pl e F i ve year s el der
or fi ve year s younger , bot h Chal egi (would do). But I
l ooked at BD as my si ster. Whi l e LB turned i nt o
BD s bi ography, I made up my mi nd to do
somethi ng stupi d and equal l y dari ng.
W hat i f I i ncl ude her i n my fr i end ci r cl e of i nfi ni t e
r adi us?
Af ter al l , she was my nei ghbor. I was getti ng
crazy at that moment.
W hat good woul d she do t o me?
Perhaps, I was tryi ng to get out of the dai l y
mundane routi ne. She knew LB and so I stood a
chance. I n the eveni ng, her mom was strol l i ng
near our nei ghbors bal cony. LB and I were
hangi ng out on our bal cony, cl ose to i t.
H el l o K i ds! she greeted.
I was not expecti ng i t.
H el l o Aunti e! we repl i ed.
Where do you hail f rom? she asked.
Faizabad, LB answered.
H er eyes were then gazi ng at me.
And you?
N agpur.
She was surpri sed a bi t to di scover the f act that
Gurukul compri sed of students f rom al l over
I ndi a. She was sti ll unaware of my f ri ends f rom
Assam. That was an epi tome of Gurukul s
popul ari ty and the extent of my f ri end ci rcl e.
Af ter a f ew more l i ght questi ons, we cl eared
the vi va round. I thought we i mpressed her mom
and i t was the ri ght ti me t o add BD i n my f ri end
ci rcl e. Even the ti ght schedul e of Gurukul
coul dnt stop me f rom doi ng so.
N ayi Padosan (new nei ghbor), my new f ri end!

18
M AT RI X

9:30 P.M., LB remi nded.
So what? PB asked.
I was i n thei r room, so i mmersed i n my Maths
APQ that I was momentari l y deaf to everythi ng
except that APQ.
Sl i ce ti me, LB announced.
Those words brought me back to the real
worl d. I f el t elated.
Lets go! I exclai med.
As usual , PB took hal f an hour make up
sessi on, as i f we were out f or a cat wal k than a
ni ght wal k. Soon we were at the shop whi ch
remai ned open ti l l l ate ni ght where we si pped Sl i ce.
When no bot tl e of Sl i ce or M azaa was l ef t f or us to
si p, we compromi sed wi th an i ce cream cone.
I t became a routi ne f or us to strol l l ate night
and have sof t dri nks to take a break f rom studi es.
We pref erred Sl i ce and M azaa as soda was absent
i n thei r chemi cal composi ti on maki ng them l ess
harmf ul on a dai l y consumpti on basi s. We were on
our way back when we met a f emal e pi g headi ng
toward us wi th i ts progeny.
What are you two wai ti ng f or? LB sai d as he
took a stone i n his hand.
PB f ol l owed the same step. And then, i t was
my turn. Three stones were successi vel y f i red.
But the pi g managed to save i tself i n a way that
remi nded me of the popul ar scene f rom M at ri x i n
whi ch N eo saves hi msel f f rom three bul l ets f i red
successi vel y on hi m by an agent.
K.O.T.A 51

A common excl amati on- Shi t!
The pi gs spri nted away out of si ght wi thi n
seconds. We were then on the ground f l oor of our
PG. Al l of a sudden, a splash of water f el l upon
us. I t woul d have been rai ns i f we were
hal luci nati ng. PB uti li zed the splash f or hai r
styl i ng. But LB and I were i n no mood to do t hat.
I nstead, we thought t o retal i ate by wagi ng a water
war.
We f ound the rooms of Preet and SB l ocked.
Saahi l was at hi s f ri ends room f or the ni ght. So
we knew the cul pri ts.
PB pref erred l i steni ng to musi c. LB f el t
pressure and so he dashed to the bat hroom t o
empty hi s bowel s. Af ter all , i t was natures cal l .
I was the l one sol di er. I took one mug of water
and went upstai rs to f i nd the door of the terrace
sl ightl y open. I ki cked i t open and took my
posi ti on. That door was the LOC. I took a step
f orward to march ahead but another spl ash of
water f el l on my l eg, pushi ng back my one man
army.
A f ew mi nutes of si l ence prevai l ed and then
ceasef i re was call ed. I f ound SB and Preet
standi ng on the roof above that door, near t he
water tank wi th two buckets. I was f ighti ng a
hi ghl y advanced battl e wi th outdated weapons. My
mug was just a pistol i n f ront of thei r AK -47.
H ow di d you determi ne my posi ti on? I asked.
Your shadow hel ped us i n determi ni ng your
exact coordi nates. I t was f un hunti ng you, SB
cl ari f i ed.
LB j oi ned us af ter the ceasef i re. I narrated the
pi g i ncident. Everyone had a l augh. Because of

those two i nci dents, I was unabl e to study that
ni ght and my APQ was agai n l ef t pendi ng.
Pi gs were comi ng to retal i ate soon, i n an
i ndi rect way.

K.O.T.A 53

19
SORRY BH AI !

Theres a f amous techni cal adage-
I f you cl ose your eyes and wal k on t he r oads i n Kot a,
t he t hi ng you woul d most l i k el y hi t woul d be a pi g.
The pi g had the hi ghest densi ty of popul ati on
consi deri ng whol e K ota and not j ust I P School ,
where mosqui toes took the honors. The f at heads
that are nomencl atured as donk eys shoul d be
renamed as pi gs. Pi gs have the habi t of anal yzi ng
anythi ng and everythi ng wi th thei r nose, whi ch
makes them l ook f unny. Thei r eyes are vesti gial
f or them.
A pi g was once crossi ng road usi ng i ts nose
and f our l egs. A cow was relaxi ng nearby, i n the
shade of a tree. The pi g went on and on ti l l i ts
nose met wi th that of cow. And then bot h ki ssed,
i nter ani mal .
Pi gs thi nk humans to be thei r best f oes. Every
ti me we l i f t our l eg (even f or wal ki ng) they t hi nk
that i t woul d l and upon thei r del i cate bodi es.
Once, whi l e I was returni ng f rom Sangam, I
f ound over 40 pigs l oi teri ng and goggl i ng f or l i tter
near Sangam. I l if ted my ri ght l eg and pounded i t
at i ts i ni tial posi ti on.
One pi g ran f or i ts li f e and apprehensi ons
tri ggered i n the mi nds of the remai ni ng pigs,
creati ng a stampede. Soon bl ack dots covered the
busy road. Two unf ortunate gi rl s ri di ng a Scooty
were hemmed i n. Thei r scream matched that of
Shar apovas.

I f N ei l A r mst r ong had been there to see that
gory si ght he woul d have modul ated hi s f amous
l i nes to-
A smal l st ep by a man (A k ash), a gi ant l eap for
pi gk i nd.
Preet and I had mouser guns wi th pl asti c
bul l ets. One night we were pl ayi ng mouser archery
wi th them.
We used to call pigs near our resi dence and
made a f ool of them by throwi ng newspapers
down. They came runni ng, keepi ng rest of thei r
acti vi ti es l ike sl eepi ng, dawdli ng and f i ghti ng wi th
other pi gs i n abeyance, i n a hope to get somethi ng
edi bl e wrapped i n those papers. They wondered
why wi cked humans suddenl y turned
phi l anthropi c.
Lets hunt pi gs, Preet proposed.
N o, l ets not hurt them, I advised.
Then f i re a bull et on BD s cool er, 100 poi nts
f or di rect hi t, he chall enged.
Are you out of your mi nd? N o, you are not
goi ng to do i t. Wai t! I shouted.
But i t was too l ate. Preet was ai mi ng at the
bul l s eye- BD s cool er.
I thought he was j ust ki ddi ng. But the tri gger
got pressed. I knew j ust one more word wi th Bul l
apt f or the event- Bul l shi t .
We ran to take ref uge under PBs haven. I
narrated the cool er i nci dent t o them. Al l cursed
Preet. I thought of openi ng the door to i nspect
the si tuati on at our nei ghbors. I f ound a wel l buil t,
wheati sh man stari ng at our door.
H ey tel escope! Wai t! he shouted on seei ng
me.
K.O.T.A 55

My specs earned me that ti tl e. I hi d behi nd t he
door as he kept yell i ng.
Let me handl e thi s si tuati on, Preet sai d. H e
went out and soon I too came out.
Si ster Fucker. Asshol e.
N ever bef ore had I been abused by those
words. I hel d t he rai l i ngs of the bal cony and
pressed them hard to cont rol my anger. That son
of a bi tch kept yel li ng.
Acti ng smart, teasi ng gi rl s. I know boys li ke
you. Cauti on al l other si ster f uckers of your f l oor
to stay away f rom her. El se I l l send you all back
f rom where you came. Understood asshol e?
I t was too much f or me to bear. I di dnt
deserve i t.
Akash! Say sorry, Preet whispered.
For what? my eyes questi oned hi s.
Sorry! I muttered.
I never wi shed to say that but I uttered i t on
behal f of Preet. I coul d have stopped hi m.

20
FI GH T CLUB

Si ster Fucker? And you sai d sorry? LB was
very angry.
You know hes an asshol e. I m upset because
he warned us all . What does he thi nk us to be? I
sai d.
We need to teach hi m a l esson, PB said.
Saahi l was very upset on heari ng thi s mi shap,
Preet sai d.
M or e so because he was al so abused. H e was no
more ami abl e to me af ter that spat.
Because...you were i nnocent, Preet sai d.
I coul dnt bel i eve i t. Saahi l supported me.
SB then turned up wi th hi s peculi ar atti re- a
towel hung around hi s neck and shorts.
D on t worry man! We are always wi th you, he
sai d, patti ng my back. I have classes til l eveni ng.
I f you need any sort of hel p, do ask. We bi d bye
to hi m.
Retal iati on was then pl anned at PBs room.
We all shoul d tal k to hi m. Uni ted we stand,
PB suggested.
Fi rst Akash shoul d go and then we shoul d
back hi m, Preet i nsi sted.
Whats the use? H e woul d return wi th another
sorry, LB commented.
Bhai ya, dont ever questi on my guts. I can
scare the hel l out of that son of a bi tch, I warned.
H e woul d send us back f rom where we came.
Who the hel l i s he to deci de all thi s stuf f ? Preet
sai d.
K.O.T.A 57

H e thi nks hi mself to be a stud, especiall y i n f ront
of that gi rl , PB sai d.
Get ready boys! I ts goi ng to be 8:00 P.M., LB
announced.
I woul d i nf orm you guys when that son of a
bi tch comes out, Preet sai d.
Saahi l and N i l esh soon entered our cl an and
we tol d them about our pl an. They patted my back
to f i ght agai nst the evil . SB was expected to be at
Sangam f or the di nner. Preet al armed us of the
arri val of son of a bi t ch i n hi s bal cony.
I came out i n A ngr y Y oung M an styl e.
Sorry Uncl e! But tel l me what wrong have I
done? I yel l ed.
Teasi ng gi rl s and then aski ng me about your
f aul tall si ster f uckers.
Shut up! Let me cal l those, whom you are
abusi ng, I shouted.
And then came out f i ve great peopl e. PB,
Preet, Saahi l , N il esh and LB. LB pushed everyone
back to take the f ront guard.
Why are you abusi ng hi m? LB asked.
I l l slap you so hard that you wi l l remember i t
f or your l if e ti me.
The tal l est and el dest of us all was the new
target of that son of a bi t ch. We al l stood sil ent. LB
was about to speak mother f ucker when our
l andl ord arrived. H e i nstead ended wi thShi t!
About 15 rel ati ves of that son of a bi t ch were
wai ti ng f or hi m, near the gate. They were goi ng
somewhere and he was supposed to see them of f .
But we gave them a ni ce f arewell . A bi g f ight
i gni ted.

Rakesh, you are mature enough. Why are you
f i ghti ng wi th these studi ous guys? Landl ord
asked.
Saahi l came to the f ront then.
We tease gi rl s? What proof do you have? he
roared.
I would break your bones, son of a bi tch sai d.
Fi rst bother about yours, Saahil commented
We have to l eave as soon as possi bl e. Come
down Ravi , hi s rel atives demanded.
I would see you all l ater, he sai d.
Fuck you, Preet whi spered.
SB arri ved just when the battl e was over. H e
was happy f or we won. I hugged Saahi l and LB.
I heard all this f or you. N ever mi nd, LB sai d.
Who says woman i s the cause of every Great
War? That war started because of pi gs, though a
cause of woman got attached to i t l ater.
K.O.T.A 59

21
YE KAT T A

14
th
January, M ahasankranti
H ow much does thi s ki te cost? And that bl ue
one? Preet f i red hi s f usil lade on to a ki te sel l er.
Preet, LB and I were out to buy ki tes. What
better way to cel ebrate Mahasankranti than to f l y
col orf ul ki tes, hi gh up i n the sky?
PB and Saahil were eagerl y wai ti ng f or the
ki tes. LB was a prof essi onal (pro) i n ki te f l yi ng. H e
had a pecul iar styl e wi th whi ch he never
compromi sed. H e used to put on hi s goggl es and
control the M anja (ki te f l yi ng stri ng) wi th his l egs.
H e was sel f suf f i ci ent f or f l yi ng a ki te whi ch
usuall y was a twosome sport. We were then on
our terrace wi th a ki te i n each hand.
I saw Bhawna today. She was l ooki ng
beauti f ul , LB said. Ever si nce I came to know that
BD was the one behi nd that bi g f i ght as she
compl ai ned agai nst us, I hated her. But LB di dnt
stop teasi ng me.
I t used to be one of those days when our
l andl ords f amil y came on the terrace to cel ebrate
wi th us. Mi rth and j ubi lati on f il l ed the ai r. The ki te
f l yi ng began, that saw LB agai n as a one man
army. Rests of us were amateurs, l earni ng tri cks
and tacti cs of ki te f l yi ng.
E di son woul d have advi sed to f l y the ki te 1000
ti mes but we gave up i n j ust 100 attempts. Af t er
al l we were not i nventi ng bul b.
That day saw an acti ve parti ci pati on i n ki te
f l yi ng f rom al l the nei ghbori ng houses i ncl udi ng

the one wi th whom we had a f i ght. A burni ng
desi re to def eat them came i nto our mi nd. What i f
we snap other ki tes by another devi ce?
We tol d LB about our pl an to assi st hi m. H e
gave thumbs up. H e started luri ng other ki tes,
generati ng chances f or us to trap them i n our bai t.
We ti ed Manja to a worn out sli pper i nstead of a
ki te. We threw the sli pper to entangl e those ki tes.
Eventuall y they got snapped. But someone
snapped our concent rati on.
A beauti f ul gi rl on the terrace of 1-PA-91,
tryi ng to match up wi th the f l yi ng skil ls of pros
l ike LB, was then the cynosure. She too, was
weari ng goggl es li ke hi m.
H er del i cate hands were tryi ng to f l y the ki te
hi gh but every ti me i t l anded on our terrace. A
ci vil war sparked amongst us to couri er the ki te
back. But LBs extraordi nary perf ormance i n t he
sky amazed us al l , bri ngi ng us back to track.
We started snappi ng other ki tes cunni ngl y. We
di dnt spare the ki te of son of a bi t ch. Gradual l y we
headed toward f i nal s.
A 12 year ol d boy who was more pro i n ki te
f l yi ng than LB, on account of snappi ng more ki tes
di rectl y, chal l enged hi m i n the f i nal s. H e had the
habi t of yel l i ng Y e Kat ta (thi s got snapped!), whi ch
pestered us a l ot. LBs presti ge was at stake. The
boy was cl ever enough not t o bri ng hi s ki te cl ose
to us. Fi nal l y, he trapped LBs ki te and both ki tes
were struggli ng to get f ree of each other. There
was a moment of anxi ety.
And Lo!
LBs ki te was f all i ng down. I t was al l over.
Ye K atta.
K.O.T.A 61

I t was LB who yel l ed. I t took a f ew seconds
f or us to real i ze that LB was deli beratel y bri ngi ng
hi s ki te down and the ot her ki te was snapped. The
boy hel d hi s head wi th hi s pal ms, i n despai r.
We yell ed i n uni son-Y e Katt a.

22
CH ULH A PAT AK D I YA

Winter
Al arm rang, f orci ng me to come out of the
heavenl y cozi ness of my warm bl anket. A tough
task.
Fog f i ll ed the atmosphere outsi de to gi ve a
perf ect t rai l er of W I N T E R-Season Oh 4. LB was
sti l l i n underwear. H e l oved to express hi msel f
f reel y. H e coul d have easi l y been the brand
ambassador of A i rt el wi th the mott o E X PRE SS
Y OU RSE L F . Even a f rosty wi nter l i ke that
coul dnt chi ll the f i re i nsi de hi m.
H e was very si ncere toward three thi ngs-
SL E E P, ST U D I E S, BRE A KF A ST .
PB was hi s breakf ast partner. Every day at 6:30
A.M. sharp, he woke up PB. H e usuall y took a
bath af ter that.
I came out of my room t o f i nd tube l i ghts of
Preets room sti l l on as i f f rom days. Sunl ight
sel dom entered hi s room but tube l i ght was always
there as a consol ati on pri ze. I was done wi th al l
my routi ne acti vi ti es when I saw LB pl aci ng an
i mmersi on rod i n a bucket f ul l of water meant f or
the bath.
Soon a wi l d knock at my door propel l ed me to
open i t as soon as possi bl e.
Akash, ki si ne Chul ha Patak D i ya (Ovens
crushed)! Preet excl ai med.
I t was a di rect i ndi cati on that a bi g mi schi ef
had been pl ayed.
Who? I asked
K.O.T.A 63

LB, Preet whi spered.
H e of f ered me a tour t o t he si te where the act
of Chul ha Patak D i ya was commi tted. To my
horror I saw a mi nd bl owi ng scene. One of the
i mmersi on rods was gl owi ng red hot. We were
then anal yzi ng the si te as i f we were f rom some
f orensi c department .
Soon Saahi l was there, standi ng and gapi ng. I t
was hi s i mmersi on rod. I hugged hi m at that ti me
of gri ef to consol e hi m. H e rebel l ed j ust l i ke a
wi dow does, at the news of her husbands demi se.
Everythi ng was so stupi d and so dramati c.
Crowd gathered. PB, Saahi l , Preet, Pl umbum,
SB were the spectators. And at l ast the cul pri t
arri ved, LB. The hero of t he ki te f l yi ng
competi ti on was then a vi ll ai n f or Saahil . H e acted
as i f he knew nothi ng about t he i nci dent. Al l eyes
were transf i xed on hi m. H e shrugged to i ndi cate
that someone el se had been behi nd t hat stuf f . Sti l l
none of t he eyes moved. Al l wanted an
expl anati on and so he reveal ed the uncensored
story behi nd i t.
I n the morni ng I f ound two i mmersi on rods
l yi ng here. I thought i t woul d be a ni ce i dea to
have a bath earl y i n t he morni ng wi th warm water
i nstead of a regular, col d one, he expl ai ned.
But how di d thi s i mmersi on rod burn? Preet
i nterrupted.
LB stepped f orward and poi nted at t he wi res
of both t he i mmersi on rods. One rod was i n the
bucket and the second one kept on t he ground.
H e hel d the wi re of the rod kept i n the bucket and
di sentangl ed i t f rom the other wi re. And what we
saw that day through our naked eyes was hi story.

The rod kept i n t he bucket, had i ts pl ug l yi ng
on the f l oor whereas the other rod, whi ch was
l yi ng on the f l oor, was pl ugged i nto the socket.
The rod on t he f l oor, whi ch was burni ng red hot,
mel ted the wi re of other rod, as i t was touchi ng i t.
So both the rods were of no use.
More mi sery.
E K T E E R SE D O N I SH A N E (K il l two bi rds
wi th one stone).
I n thi s context i t can be modi f i ed to-
E K SOCKE T SE D O ROD BI GA D E (Two
i mmersi on rods kil l ed wi th one socket).
The second rod was of Preet. H e
commi serated wi th Saahi l . Two wi dows!
That day marked a special i mportance i n our
l ives as we came to know the exact def i ni ti on of
Chul ha Patak D i ya and also the practi cal anal ogy
of Ek Teer Se D o N i shane.
K.O.T.A 65

23
F.R.I .E .N .D .S

Arpi t.
One of the best f ri ends I ever had i n K ota.
We used to attend cl asses together i n Gurukul
and Vi tal . H e was a li ttl e coy i n nature. Once he
was to change hi s dress f or our cl asses.
Akash, pl ease go out of my room. I want to
change, he requested.
But mi sunderstandi ngs creep up even between
best f ri ends. And so t hey di d, between me and
Arpi t.
Physical Chemistry class at Vital Classes
We had the habi t of maki ng hi gh qual i ty notes
of our cl asses to recal l i mportant f acts, tri cks and
tacti cs at the ti me of revi si on. We al l had di f f erent
l i mi ts to the quanti ty of f acts grasped and penned
down.
Ashi sh K umar used to make the best notes, as
i f the whol e audi o f il e of a class had been
converted i nto text f ormat. Arpi t had bet ter notes
than mi ne. They earl i er used to exchange notes,
but soon started hi di ng thei r stuf f s.
I mi ssed some of my cl asses owi ng to i l l ness
and so had a chat wi th Ashi sh at the bi cycl e stand
regardi ng notes.
Can you l end me your notes? I ts a matter of
day or two? Pl ease! I requested.
I need them today. Better ask i t f rom
someone el se, he ref used.
H e knew that if they got mi splaced anyhow, al l
hi s hard work would go i n vai n. H e di dnt trust

me as much as he di d Arpi t, probabl y because I
was i n a l ower batch.
Arpi t j oi ned us. Ashi sh asked hi m f or hi s
notes.
H ey! I need to study t oday. I wont gi ve them,
Arpi t sai d, keepi ng hi s notes i n his bag.
I was angry. I requi red hel p but coul dnt ask
f or i t f rom Arpi t f rom what I saw. N o notes i n the
worl d can be preci ous than f ri endshi p. But
because of notes, I deci ded to end up my
conversati ons and f ri endshi p wi th them.
I woul d show t hem how i t feel s when you need hel p and
get bet r ayed.
N ext day at Vital Classes
I was si tti ng i n the second row. Arpi t got
seated by my si de. We had to revi se
nomencl atures of organi c compounds.
Fortunatel y, I brought t he study materi al f or i t.
Arpi t f orgot t o bri ng i t. I was not i n a mood to
share.
Akash, l ets study together! Arpi t proposed.
I have to study and I cant share i t. Sorry! I
ref used.
What happened to you? Why tal ki ng l ike thi s?
H e asked li ke an i nnocent ki d that mel ted my
heart. I was very upset of what I was doi ng, but I
conti nued my N on Co-oper at i on M ovement . H e
l ooked at my f ace, tryi ng to f igure out whether I
was Akash or not.
The days that f ol l owed saw a remarkabl e
change. Earl i er we used to reserve seats f or each
other by keepi ng our bags or regi sters on them.
Then I sat al one, away f rom t hem. I grew sof ter
toward them as ti me passed by.
K.O.T.A 67

Fi nall y I resumed my conversati ons wi th
Ashi sh. H e asked f or a company ti l l Arpi ts room.
I entered l i ke nothi ng ever happened. But he
remembered everythi ng.
What f or you came i n here? Get Lost! he
roared, poi nti ng hi s i ndex f i nger t oward the door.
I was total l y aghast.
I thought you woul d hel p me when I was i n
need of notes of the cl asses I mi ssed. But you
were hi di ng them f rom al l , even f rom me, I
bl urted out.
You shoul d have asked, he sai d sof tl y.
Tears f el l f rom the eyes of both and I hugged
hi m.
I m al ways your f ri end. N ever f eel shy t o ask
f or any hel p I m worthy of , he sai d.
Trust strengthened between me and Arpi t. But
LBs trust and bank bal ance were to be hi t soon.

24
F.I .R

LB was si tti ng on the f l oor, l ooki ng depressed
as I entered hi s room.
Why so seri ous? I asked.
A swi ndl er stol e away my money. I cant
bel i eve i t. H e was such a f oxy thi ef . N ever knew
hi s i ntenti ons, he sai d
Whom are you tal ki ng about? I asked.
PB was l yi ng on hi s bed wi th a sol emn f ace.
I met a man t oday. H e sai d he was a nati ve of
my vi l lage. I di dnt trust hi m i ni ti al l y, he
paused. But then he started gi vi ng detail s about
my f ami l y and tol d that he was my f ar-of f relati ve.
Saahi l and Preet too j oi ned us i n the room at
that poi nt.
That bl oody son of a bi tch cal l ed me L al oo.
Onl y f ive persons on eart h used to cal l me by that
name. I was then dri ven i nto hi s trust, LB sai d.
Whom are you tal ki ng about? Saahi l asked.
Some swi ndl er, PB reveal ed.
H e narrated a sad story that he was to j oi n a
coachi ng cent re as a student. But due to economi c
probl ems he was unabl e to. So hi s f uture was
bl eak. H e wi shed
That, Preet ventured.
i f I coul d possi bl y l end hi m 10,000 Rupees
f or hi s f ees. H e al so gave me hi s contact number,
LB sai d.
And you gave i t? I asked.
H e was sil ent. PB nodded.
So what happened then? Saahi l probed.
K.O.T.A 69

H e never came back. I t ri ed hi s number but
that asshol e gave me a wrong number. N ow I m
af rai d. H ow woul d I f ace my parents? I never
thought I woul d be a vi cti m of such unscrupul ous
thi ef . I m pretty upset, he sai d. H e hi d hi s f ace
wi th hi s arms i n despai r over the f act that he
hel ped someone who never real l y was hi s relati ve,
who never i ntended to do any coachi ng.
D i d you f il e an F.I .R? Preet asked.
Praf ul l and I went to the Vi gyan N agar Thana
to f i l e an F.I .R. But whats the use? I dont thi nk a
thi ef takes money wi th a money back of f er, he
repl i ed.
N ever trust strangers so easi l y. You shoul d
have conf i rmed hi s authenti ci ty f rom your parents
bef ore l endi ng hi m any money, I sai d. Be
posi ti ve. You wi ll get hi m and your money.
I pray, t hat son of a bi tch gets caught soon,
he sai d.
*
A few days later

A SWI N D LE R ST E ALI N G M ON E Y FROM
COACH I N G ST UD EN T S I N N AM E OF
FE E S CAUGH T RE D H AN DE D AT KOT A.
Those headl i nes i n the l eadi ng newspapers
were a consol ati on pri ze f or LB.
D on t spare hi m. Sl ap hi m so hard that he
woul d thi nk twi ce bef ore steali ng, Saahil sai d.
H ope so I get my money back. I wi ll crush hi s
butt, LB sai d.
Suppl emented by our best wi shes, LB and PB
headed towards Vi gyan N agar Thana.
They returned af ter two hours.

What happened? Preet asked
H es bankrupt. H ow coul d he ever repay? We
coul d j ust slap hi m and ki ck hi s butt. Pol i ce
assisted us i n doi ng so, LB sai d.
Al though you di dnt get back money but you
gai ned experi ence, I sai d.
Yeah! I l earnt a l esson af ter al l . The f i l e i s now
cl osed.
And so was cl osed that F.I .R chapter f rom our
mi nd by the i mpendi ng f i nal exams.

K.O.T.A 71

25
VALE D I CT I ON

Final exams
Exams of both School and Gurukul .
School exams were f ul l of f un as we f i ll ed our
answer sheets wi th bl unders. Sti l l many scored
wel l . Thanks to the average marki ng scheme.
An exami nee wrote the story of D evdas upon
bei ng asked to wri te an essay on -The Si de ef f ects
of Al cohol . H e ended wi th the motto-
N a Chandr amuk hi , N a Par o.
Sabse Badhi ya, A pni D esi dar u.
(N ot Chandramukhi , N ot Paroo,
The best i n the town i s our al cohol )
I al ways empathi zed wi th the exami ner who
took t he pai n of readi ng such revol uti onary
answers. But the exami ners there were made of
di f f erent stuf f . They never f el t any pai n.
Because they never read those bl unders. Al l
they di d was a qui ck scan of the sheet determi ni ng
the l ength of t he answers. Then thei r eyes went
through the f i rst f ew l i nes and the marks were
al l otted.
The f ol l owi ng adage was stri ctl y f oll owed-
T he fi r st i mpr essi on i s t he l ast i mpr essi on!
Many students l ef t most of the space i n the
answer sheet bl ank to save thei r i nk. Solvi ng
numeri cal probl ems of Physi cs, Chemi stry and
Math was no bi g deal as we have got used to t hat.
Practi cal exams were horror shows. I saw the
apparatus of experi ments f or the f i rst ti me on t he
day of exam i tsel f .

Physics Practical exam
I l earnt by rote the whol e practi cal record. I
remembered even the punctuati ons. As soon as I
got the answer sheet, I vomi ted all i nf ormati on,
i ncl udi ng the observati on tabl es and resul ts.
Wi thout any observati on I had the observati on
tabl es.
I l ooked at my watch whil e submi tti ng the
answer sheet. 15 mi nutes. The exam was of two
hours durati on. Many answer sheets were sti l l
bl ank, wi th j ust the name of thei r owners wri tten
on them.
You seri ous? Your experi ment over? Lab
Assi stant i nqui red. H ow did you perf orm i t?
I shrugged.
H e took me f or a vi va tour. I gave such
horri bl e answers f or t hei r Out of Cour se questi ons
that t hey had no ot her opti on except to rel ease
me.
Gurukul exams on the ot her hand, were no
f un. We had our exams on three successive days.
Each exam had a maxi mum of 250 marks and
three hours durati on.
There was a parti cular system at Gurukul that I
detested. Two types of rank exi sted-
1) Test rank of i ndivi dual tests.
2) Cumulati ve rank of al l the tests.
The l atter sucked. I f you under-perf orm even
i n a si ngl e test, your cumul ati ve rank i s more
af f ected. You then need t o perf orm consi stentl y
wel l to regai n your chai r i n an upper batch.
But my perf ormance was consi stentl y getti ng
bad, day by day. I sl i pped one batch down i n t he
K.O.T.A 73

recent shuf f l i ng. I n the f i nal exams when i t was
most needed, I di dnt perf orm wel l .
The probl em was mammoth course and lack
of practi ce. My APQs real l y turned i nto A l ways
Pendi ng Quest i ons. I f el t the heat but was unabl e to
beat i t whi l e sol vi ng BTH . I was attendi ng extra
coachi ng at Vi tal Classes, whi ch meant extra
homework and extra pressure. There was never a
need to j oi n any extra coachi ng but i t had become
a f ashi on i n K ota. Soci al l if e, too was not worki ng
wel l . I al ready had three spats i n a year.
Af ter t he f i nal exams got over, I got
reservati ons done ti l l N agpur. I packed my bags
and set on f or my j ourney back home. SB too l ef t
K ota f orever to gi ve his board exams and I I T-JEE
at Bhubaneshwar. We al l f el t sad to bi d hi m bye
but l if e goes on. I shif ted i nto hi s room.
I was l ooki ng f or posi tive resul ts and was
prayi ng f or a better l i f e i n 12
th
cl ass than the one I
had experi enced i n 11
th
, at K ota.

12th Class Series
26
GI RL I N GRE EN

Back to work.
I rushed to the recepti on center wi th Preet and
Saahi l to i nqui re about the batch al l otted t o us f or
the sessi on. Saahi l always l oved to watch gi rl s,
especi all y recepti oni sts.
Guys, I have great news. A new recepti oni st
has been appoi nted. And shes j ust 20. Chal egi (wil l
do), he announced.
From f i ve years younger to f i ve years elder,
Sab Chal egi (all wil l do), Preet wi nked.
I was not i nterested because I knew I was
goi ng to be burdened wi th f i ve gi rl f ri ends i n 12
th
-
Physi cs, Math, Physi cal Chemi stry, I norgani c
Chemi stry and Organi c Chemi stry.
We parked our bi cycl es i n the parki ng l ot of
Gurukul , noddi ng to the securi ty guys. They
recogni zed us and smil ed.
We f ound a very f ai r and gorgeous young gi rl
seated on the recepti oni sts seat. Saahi l s news had
a supersoni c speed, crushi ng A aj T ak s (an I ndi an
news channel ) cl ai m of Sabse T ez (f lash news). Hi s
tongue was out of hi s mouth. Preet and I were
then to busi ness whil e Saahil was l ost i n hi s own
worl d of gi rl s.
Maam, can you pl ease f orward us our
al l otment l etter? Preet requested.
Preet was all otted N -2, Saahi l bagged L-2 and I
managed a place i n M-4.
K.O.T.A 75

M -4! E i ght h bat ch i n ascendi ng or der wi t h 600
st udent s above my cal i ber . I was about to say the F
word when Preets words caught my attenti on.
Lets go! I ts ti me f or l unch.
That day Sangams meal di dnt taste good.
Possi bl y the f lavor of my mood adul terated i t. I
congratul ated Saahi l at the washi ng basi n f or
maki ng i t i nto the second best batch.
Saahi l , I have to l eave f or my Physi cs extra-
cl ass. See you i n the eveni ng, I sai d. H e bi d bye to
me.
My bi cycl e hi t the l azy roads i n the scorchi ng
heat of Apri l . I took a l ef t turn f rom Jai n
stati oners and drove ri ght i nto t he Gurukul lane.
There I saw a gi rl strol li ng on the l onel y road.
D oppl er E ffect . The cl oser she came, t he more I
f ocused on her. She was cl ad i n a green Salwar sui t
that gave her a serene l ook. She wore specs wi th
hal f f rame. She was a Pr ei t y Z i nt as (a popul ar
I ndi an Actress) l ook-ali ke.
M i ssi on Physi cs. I pul l ed back f rom her
magneti zi ng gri p. For the f i rst ti me i n my li f e I
was gazi ng at a gi rl . I guessed her to be a
Gurukuli te. My bi cycl e was traversi ng a strai ght
l i ne path whi l e my head was perf ormi ng a
rotati onal moti on. I was awestruck by her beauty.
I s she new t o G ur uk ul or had her beaut y been l at ent
for a year l ong?
35 seconds. Ti me f or whi ch that gaze l asted.
Thi s shoul d not be news f or the spy report er
Saahi l , I prayed to the al mi ghty.
I smi l ed. I coul d sti l l remember how she took
stri des of her hai r on her cheeks and put them
back behi nd her ears. I kept smi l i ng ti l l the

exhausti ng class got over and I came back to my
room. Saahi l s expressi ons depi cted that some
tel epathy message had been f orwarded to hi m. But
i t di dnt al ter my expressi ons. I was sti ll smi li ng.
What happened? Sti l l thi nki ng about that gi rl ?
Saahi l asked.
My smi l e converted i nto anxi ety. H ow di d he
come t o k now of t hat gi r l?
Preet j oi ned us at the bal cony. H e too, was
smi l i ng.
What happened to you guys? Somethi ngs
surel y ami ss, I sai d.
Yes, I know that you l ove her. But theres
some probl em, Saahi l sai d.
Saahi l l oves her too, Preet sai d.
Unbel i evabl e! H ow di d you come to know? I
dont know anythi ng about her, I def ended
mysel f .
By the way Preet too i s i n l ove wi th her,
Saahi l sai d.
I m ready to sacri f i ce my f eel i ngs f or you
guys, Preet sai d.
I have no i dea as to whom you are tal ki ng
about, I sai d.
H ey! D i dnt you li ke that recepti oni st? Shes so
hot. N ow dont deny t hi s, Saahi l sai d.
I gave a great sigh of rel i ef . Our sexy
recepti oni st was a new member i n the crush l i st of
Saahi l . Onl y God knows who woul d be the l ast
one i n hi s l i st. I guess i t woul d be hi s wi f e, our
Bhabhi (sister i n l aw).

K.O.T.A 77

27
M I SSI ON N ASA, LAN D I N G KOT A

Fi nall y and f ortunatel y, you are now i n 12
th
.
I ts goi ng to get more chal l engi ng and i nteresti ng.
Those words of SP commenced our f i rst Math
cl ass of the sessi on. Some students yawned whi l e
many others i ncl udi ng gi rl s, were busy gossi pi ng.
Teachers have one common compl ai nt that i f
students are al l owed a rel axati on ti me of mere 30
seconds, they want to gossi p about everythi ng-
past, present and f uture.
Party, Party, some students shouted. N ot a
si ngl e reason to cel ebrate, sti l l the students never
l ost hopes of getti ng one.
Fi rst get a seat i n I I Ts and then I woul d surel y
take a party f rom you guys, SP repl i ed.
Par t y, Part y became evanescent.
Recent news cl ai ms that I I T-JEE wil l be
i ncorporati ng CBSE questi ons i nto i t so as to
crush coachi ng i nsti tutes. I s i t true? a student
i nqui red.
I I Ts sel ect onl y those who are deemed f i t to
get a pl ace i nto i t. Suppose they sel ect students
who are not f i t f or i t. Then one of t hem goes t o
N ASA, another bl under.
Al l sat awestruck at hi s i magi nati on.
And N ASA l aunches a satel li te to orbi t moon.
But because of that student, the satel l i te reaches
K ota and not moon. I guess I have conveyed the
ri ght message to you. I I Ts dont admi t f ool s,
whether t hey are here i n Gurukul or i n some other
school . They set standard questi ons.
SP swi tched on to a new uni t- CALCULUS.

Gurukul was known as the abode of Cal cul us.
I t consi sts of more uni ts l ike i ntegrati on,
di f f erenti ati on, he started.
Af ter hal f an hour, t he cl ass got over and I was
back to my room.
By the ti me I reached 1-PA-90, i t was empty.
Saahi l had gone f or an eye toni c. For hi m greenery
was the synonym of beauti f ul gi rl s. But I always
prai sed hi m f or his prof essi onali sm i n studi es. F i r st
wor k , t hen pl ay.
Preet was i n H ear t t o H ear t cyber caf . H e l oved
Raju Bhai ya (RB), the owner of H ear t t o H ear t .
Preet was a born gamer.
PB and LB l anded af ter my arri val . They were
l ike my parents and so thei r room was my home.
I tol d them about SPs j oke of the day.
SP cracks seri ousl y i ntell igent j okes, PB sai d.
Mi ssi on N ASA, l andi ng K ota! LB excl ai med.
Mi ssi on I I T-JEE was my onl y concern though
somethi ng more was goi ng to be added to i t, soon.
K.O.T.A 79

28
SH E BE T H E ON E

Wake up Akash! I ts getti ng l ate f or your
cl ass.
I t was Preet who knocked at my door. Af ter al l
he agreed to be my wake up al arm f or that day.
7:40 A.M. The ti me my watch showed.
7:45 A.M. Just f ive mi nutes f or the Physi cs
show to begi n.
My new Physi cs teacher AG cursed l ate
comers and I never wished to be i n hi s li st of
donkeys popul arl y known as A G s l i st . I dashed to
the bathroom wi th no ti me l ef t to thi nk about the
chronol ogi cal order of my acti vi ti es. I thought t o
brush and bath at the same ti me. W hat about
empt yi ng my bowel s?
Fortunatel y we had two bathrooms, of whi ch
one was al ready occupi ed. For the f i rst ti me i n my
l i f e I f orgot to appl y soap whi l e taki ng the bath. I
di dnt comb my hai r ei ther.
Wai t! I m also comi ng, Saahi l sai d.
So you were i n t he other bathroom? H ey! You
too f orgot to comb.
H e repl i ed wi th a gri n. Our bi cycl es hi t the
busy roads. I bi d bye to Saahi l at Gurukul s
entrance and entered cl assroom no. 9. AG put a
stop on my run.
Fi ve mi nutes l ate! Get out, he yel l ed. I
gl anced at my watch. 7:45.
Si r, I stil l bel i eve i ts 7:45as f ar as my watch
i s concerned, I sai d conf i dentl y.

The whol e cl ass was taken by surpri se. My eyes
met wi th one of t he surpri sed gi rl s. She was the
f amous Y es Si r and that G i r l I n G r een. I coul d then
recogni ze her. Unbel i evabl e! I showed hi m my
watch. 7:45:49. Then he showed hi s watch,
7:51:01.
Si r, I matched the ti me wi th A aj T ak . I ts trul y
Sabse T ez (Fastest). H e l ooked at me, hi s eyes wi de
open. You may get i n. I smi l ed. A news channel
saved my ass wi thi n seconds, Sabse t ez.
I t was a real set back to si t back. Unl i ke Om
Ci nepl ex , the surround sound of AG was f eebl e
there. I t was a combi ned cl ass of M-3 and M-4 on
Ray Opt i cs. The word Opti cs made me gaze at Y es
Si r who was weari ng specs. I soon crushed my
f eel i ngs f or my crush to brush away my
mi sconcepti ons about Opti cs. Af ter three hours,
the i nteresti ng yet exhausti ng cl ass got over. I was
to note t he new ti me-tabl e f rom the noti ce board
when somebody el se t ook my noti ce. Y es Si r s
cheek s.
She l ooked so del i cate and l ovel y that I
coul dnt take my eyes of f her. But I was remi nded
of my ai m. An hour l ater, I met her agai n,
i nadvertentl y. God doesn t pl ay di ces. She pl ays
strange games wi th us and She deci des i ts rul es.
Ri ght , M r . E i nst ei n?
But I ski d f rom there to Gurukul s parki ng l ot.
I saw her agai n, comi ng wi th a bunch of gi rl s.
N ot agai n! I muttered. I f l ew f rom my bi cycl e
and l anded di rectl y on the bi cycl e pad of 1-PA-90.
I ski d to my room. I was scared of t hat enti ty
chasi ng me. But an even scari er f ear f actor was to
come then.
K.O.T.A 81

29
SQUI N T FACT OR-T H E FE AR FACT OR

Shes squi nt. D ont you know that? Saahi l
smi rked.
Preet was al l smil es.
I t cant be. I have seen her several ti mes, I
rebel l ed.
At ti mes, you l and i nt o ocean of troubl es by
bl urti ng out some secrets.
Several ti mes! H mm... I nt enti onal l y or
Saahi l rai sed hi s brows.
Uni ntenti onal l y, I swear! By the way she has
combi ned cl asses wi th me.
You better check i t f or yoursel f . I bet shes
squi nt, Saahi l sai d.
The di scourse got over as we had to rush f or
our exhausti ng cl asses. I accel erated my bi cycl e on
the dusty roads and reached the parki ng l ot wi thi n
two mi nutes. And then, I f ortunatel y saw her.
I n pi nk, she l ooked gorgeous. I f ol l owed her
f or a whil e to l ook i nto her eyes. But her
supersoni c vel oci ty f al tered my pl ans. She was
al ways i n a hurry and some worry. I was prayi ng to
God f or another combi ned cl ass. Fortunatel y i t
was schedul ed that day.
Organic Chemistry class
I knew she was an expert i n Chemi stry, more
so i n Organi c Chemi stry. That day Pulki t Chauhan
Si r took a surpri se quiz. Those surpri ses were
ni ghtmares f or student communi ty. Each one of
us was asked to check hi s/ her own answer sheet.

The easi est task on eart h i s sel f assessment. Most
l eni ent marki ng scheme was adopted by one and
al l .
Who secured the hi ghest marks? Si r asked.
Al l hands got rai sed up.
H ow woul d I know that? H e smi l ed.
Anybody wi th a score between 9 and 10?
N o hand got rai sed.
8 to 9?
A f ai r hand wi th f our bangl es and a Ti tan
watch got raised.
Whats your name?
I was stil l guessi ng i t when a voi ce echoed i n
the cl assroom.
Smi ta.
I f i nal l y came to know her real name. She won
my heart agai n wi th that bri l l iant perf ormance.
Cl ass got over i n an hour. I f ol l owed her. H er
trai n f i nal l y hal ted at the tap water termi nal .
I l ooked i nto her eyes to check the Squi nt
f actor. H er f ace l ooked damn beauti f ul , wi thout
any def ormi ti es. Same was the case wi th her eyes-
beauti f ul , undef ormed and l ovel y. I was f all i ng
i nto the bl ack hol e of her bl ack eyes. My senses
were unabl e to escape f rom i ts gravi tati onal pull . I
wore specs (arti f i ci al eyes) and so di d she. A ank hen
Char H ona (conf rontati on of f our eyes to f al l i n
l ove) was then converted mat hemati cal l y i nto
A ank hen A at h H ona (eyes turned i nto ei ght).
She transf ormed me i nto a l unati c, romanti c
guy al ready burdened wi th f i ve gi rl f ri ends. I real l y
di dnt wi sh to have a si xth. I was desperate t o get
Ki ss of t hat A ngel . For the whol e day, I was
dreami ng about her. APQs were no more
K.O.T.A 83

i nteresti ng. Love real l y makes one crazy. My
smi l es i terated l ike si nusoi dal waves. I came back
to my room.
Shes so cute and shes not at al l squi nt,
understood! I tol d Saahil .
I hi t axe on my own l eg by utt eri ng those l i nes.
I came to know of i t the next day.

30
JAB WE M E T

D o you l i ke hal ua (I ndi an sweet di sh)? Saahi l
asked.
Preet and I were si tti ng on hi s bed. Preets
tongue was out of hi s mouth on heari ng the word
hal ua. We requested Saahi l to make i t f or us.
H e pushed hi s chai r back and stood up to
browse al l the i ngredi ents requi red. I t started
rai ni ng outsi de. Cool breeze made the weather
appropri ate f or rel i shi ng hot hal ua. Saahi l got i t
ready wi thi n mi nutes.
Theres l ot of halua f or us, he clai med.
Musi c accompani ed us i n our f east.
So do you real l y l ove Smi ta? he started.
What? Love? I tri ed to be i gnorant.
Somet hi ngs goi ng on between Smi ta and you,
Preet sai d.
I ignored them by taki ng a bi te of hal ua.
Theres not hi ng between us, I sai d.
You sai d shes cute, Saahi l poi nted.
But I never sai d I l ove her, I sai d i n sel f
def ense.
You also sai d shes not squi nt, Saahi l
conti nued.
So what?
Why are you so bothered about her? Preet
asked.
I was aski ng the same questi on to mysel f .
I respect her.
And thi s respect i s a part of your l ove f or her,
Saahi l commented.
K.O.T.A 85

Lets change the topi c, I proposed.
H ey! Be a man. Go and propose her. At l east
tal k to her. Pat jaayegi (she wil l consent), Saahi l
suggested.
I always f eared that i t woul d di stract me f rom
my ai m. For me studi es were always of pri me
i mportance.
Af ter havi ng my halua I bi d bye to both and
l ocked my door f rom i nsi de. Then I started
bui l di ng pl ans to meet Smi ta. Whenever I cl osed
my eyes, I saw her f ace. But somethi ng bl urred i t.
I thi nk they were APQs. The vi rus of l ove made
i ts way i nto my heart. I ts l i ke an H I V whose cure
i s sti ll unknown.
I took out my ti me-tabl e and started googl i ng
f or the ti mi ngs when Smi ta and I would be havi ng
combi ned cl asses.
Eureka! I t was on t he very next day, i n t he
af ternoon.
N ext day, 2:30 P.M .
I made my way i nto the cl assroom af ter f aci ng
the scorchi ng summer heat. Then I saw somethi ng
that quenched al l my thi rst and eventuall y cool ed
me of f . That i cy l ooks of hers. I suddenl y f el t an
urge to tal k to her and express al l that was i n my
heart, but al one, away f rom the craf ty worl d.
Af ter t he cl ass got over, I went t o t he bi cycl e
stand. I wi nked to the securi ty guard. H e smi l ed.
Lo! There she came wal ki ng al one. I cal cul ated
the approx ti me she woul d take to reach me and
accordi ngl y adjusted all my moves. I n a sl ow
moti on, I pul l ed of f the stand of my bi cycl e. She
then took noti ce of me and my moves. That day I
wore a very f unky dress to i mpress her. H er

tongue expl ored her l i ps and a smi l e was engraved
on her countenance. She came cl oser and cl oser...
My heart beats started ri si ng at an exponenti al
rate by her D oppl er ef f ect. I kept my hands over
my chest to stop the heart f rom hoppi ng out.
Speak t o her . Say somet hi ng. Come on!
Smi ta? I s that your name? I broke the si l ence
wi th a real stupi d questi on. She nodded.
You were i n F-2, ri ght? I ventured.
She nodded as she wasY es Si r .
So how was the class today? I asked.
I n whi ch batch? her questi on was a counter
mi ssil e to mi ne.
M-4. Wel l , I was wonderi ng i f you coul d
possi bl y l end me your notes of the extra-cl ass we
had on Sunday.
Why me? she asked. She was worri ed.
My f ri ends t oo mi ssed that cl ass as they were
pl ayi ng cri cket. I wasnt well .
Once you start maki ng excuses theres no end
to i t. One excuse and then another to save your
ass.
Okay! I woul d give i t to you by tomorrow,
she acqui esced.
D uri ng the whol e di scourse I was walki ng by
her si de, wi th my bi cycl e.
I was about to enter her gi rl s hostel when her
eyes i ndi cated me to l eave her of f .
Thanks, I sai d.
For what? her eyes asked.
I jumped on my bi cycl e.
Smi ta, tomorrow f or sure, I shouted.
She was expressi onl ess. But I was so el ated
that I put my hands up i n the ai r whi l e ri di ng the
K.O.T.A 87

bi cycl e. I mi ssed three acci dents. Love makes you
f eel at the top of the worl d. I ts a very dangerous
di sease and I got i t Jab (W hen) W e M et .

31
WH AT I S LOVE ?

A m I r eal l y i n l ove wi t h Smi ta or i s i t just i nfatuat i on?
I approached PB t o f i nd the sol uti on. H e had
al ready declared that he can f l i rt wi th any f emal e
homo-sapi en of t he uni verse. So he was a l ove
guru wi th great experi ence i n l ove technol ogy.
D o you know the 10 Commandments Of
Love (COL)?
N o. Sounds qui te i nteresti ng, I sai d.
H ere i t goes.
1) D ay and ni ght dr eami ng about your crush.
2) Y ou become possessi ve about her and you feel j eal ous of
al l t hose guys who wander ar ound her .
3) I t start s wi t h physi cal att ract i on.
4) Y ou det est t hose who pass vul gar comment s about your
cr ush l i k e- W hat an ass! , N i ce boobs!
5) I t s spi r i t ual and much mor e t han l ust .
6) Y ou fi nd ex cuses t o meet her .
7) Y ou spy t he smal l est detai l s about your cr ush l i k e
bi rt h dat e et c.
8) Y ou t r y t o fi gur e out her char act er i sti cs i n someone
el se.
9) Y ou t r y t o i mpr ess her but end up doi ng t hi ngs t hat
mak e peopl e cal l you cr azy. Y ou smi l e at t i mes for no
good r eason.
10) T he most i mpor t ant of al l - you wi l l never di ver t
your sel f t o a wr ong tur n whi l e i n t rue l ove. Y ou woul d
al ways get bet t er and bett er when i n l ove, he ended.
I thi nk my case covers most of t hese poi nts.
So now I can conf i dentl y say that I m i n l ove, I
sai d.
K.O.T.A 89

Congratul ati ons! he sai d. We had a hand
shake.
Wheres LB? I asked.
On terrace.
I met LB there and tol d hi m about my
di scourse wi th PB. H e was smi li ng.
Are you seri ous? he asked.
Yes, I m i n l ove.
Theres no such thi ng cal l ed l ove. I ts j ust a
physi cal attracti on that you thi nk is l ove.
Love i s not j ust physi cal . I ts much more
spi ri tual , I repl i ed.
Al l rubbi sh. I ts a concept of Bol l ywood,
restri cted to f i l ms. I t doesn t exi st i n the real
worl d, he commented.
Was Taj Mahal buil t because of physi cal
attracti on? You must be ki ddi ng.
I m f ocusi ng on todays worl d. Love i s
materi al isti c nowadays. Gi rl s want boys to be thei r
credi t cards and bodyguards. Boys need gi rl s f or
sex.
N ot al l . I cant be pessi mi st l ike you, I sai d.
D on t be too opti mi sti c ei ther. Gi rl s can cheat
and the day they di tch you, you wil l f i nd my words
ri ght.
I m more i nterested i n studi es. I never knew I
was goi ng to f al l i n the abyss of l ove.
As a f ri end and a repeater, I m cauti oni ng you.
Concentrate on your studi es i nstead of Smi ta.
I m concentrati ng on my studi es, more so
because of Smi ta.
Learn f rom Saahi l . H es so prof essi onal i n
studi es.

I dai l y l earn f rom hi s aggressi ve nature to
achi eve the i mpossi bl e.
LB had no more words to say. H e patted my
back and went downstai rs. I was hangi ng out on
the terrace, sti l l questi oni ng mysel f -
W hen woul d L B fal l i n l ove?
K.O.T.A 91

32
BLACK BI RT H D AY

11:55 P.M .
M ay 28, 2004
Get ready f or bi rt hday bumps, Saahi l sai d. H e
had a cake i n hi s hands.
PB, LB and Preet j oi ned the party.
12:00 A.M .
A change f rom P.M. t o A.M. and suddenl y I
was l if ted up. For the f i rst ti me i n my l i f e, I
experi enced a zero gravi ty state and then a bunch
of l egs f rom al l possi bl e angl es came and hi t my
butt so hard that I had no other choi ce than to
shout.
Earl i er, peopl e used to be ebull i ent on thei r
bi rthdays. But si nce the i ncepti on of the concept
of bi rt hday bumps, everyone started conceal i ng
thei r bi rthdates f rom others.
I cut the cake and everyone sang-
Baar baar di n ye aaye (a popul ar Bol l ywood
song that means thi s day shoul d come f requentl y)
That l i ne l ost i ts i mportance as nobody wi shes
to have two or three bi rthdays annual l y, especi al l y
af ter knowi ng the consequences.
Preet and Saahi l were more i nterested i n eati ng
the chocol ate cake than to spread i t over my f ace.
Lets have some musi c! Preet demanded.
We al l started danci ng on some desi (I ndi an)
musi c. I t was the worst synchroni zed group dance
but f ar better t han a bar aati dance. Saahi l was the
best dancer of t he group. The party got over by 2
A.M. Al l went back to thei r respecti ve rooms t o

prepare themsel ves f or the exhausti ng cl asses that
were to f ol l ow.
I t then came to my mi nd-
I f Smi t a wi shes me a happy bi r t hday, i t woul d be a
gr eat pr esent .
6
th
COL-Y ou fi nd ex cuses t o meet her .
I wondered how I coul d ever make her wish
me a H appy Bi rt hday.
M orning
Af ter havi ng my breakf ast at a renowned
Pohawala, I met my batchmate Ravi at hi s room.
H ey Akash! H appy bi rthday, Ravi greeted.
I expl ai ned to hi m all the matter.
D on t worry. I have a bril li ant i dea, he sai d.
Tel l me. I was dyi ng to hear i t.
Fi rst check out t he noti ce board and f i nd out
her cl ass ti mi ngs, he tol d.
I have al ready memori zed al l her batch
ti mi ngs, I sai d.
7
th
COL- Y ou spy t he smal l est det ai l s about your cr ush.
Great! Then I have a f antasti c pl an. I wi l l
come to wi sh you a H appy Bi r t hday when you are
about to tal k to her. Ask her f or the not es. By that
ti me I l l attack, he bl urted out.
My cl ass got over by 5:15 P.M. I knew that she
woul d be returni ng back by 5:30 P.M. I was
standi ng at K ota D ai ry and havi ng butter mi lk to
pass ti me. Suddenl y Smi ta al ong wi th her army of
two other gi rl s marched past me. I threw t he
butter mi l k and started runni ng behi nd her.
Meanwhi l e Ravi , the warri or of my army, was
strol l i ng i n the garden. H e saw the si tuati on and
started runni ng behi nd me.
H appy bi rthday Akash! he yel l ed.
K.O.T.A 93

Smi ta never heard i t. She hurl ed away f rom me
when she saw me approachi ng her.
Smi ta, wai t! I requested.
She acted deaf to hear that request. My heart
beats agai n i ncreased.
Smi ta! The request was transf ormed i nto a
command. She turned her f ace so that I coul d see
onl y her si de f ace.
What? her eyes asked.
N otes? I asked.
Tomorrow f or sure, she promi sed.
I ts okay. I ts upon your wi l l . I smil ed to hi de
my tensi on.
I was expecti ng Ravi to attack. But i t was al l
over. We l ost and I mi ssed the greatest gi f t I coul d
have f etched that day.
Sorry! I coul dnt make i t. Ravi said.
I passed a smi l e to hi m.
Come. H ave your treat.

33
H UM T UM

Akash, you shoul d give us treat some other
day, Saahi l advised.
Af ter the exam, Preet suggested.
I nodded. Treat i n the f orm of a movi e was
deci ded by them.
D one! But I l l take onl y a f ew peopl e to make
i t an economi cal af f ai r, I sai d.
H ey! We do understand that you are not
earni ng, Preet sai d. Just LB, PB, Pl umbum and
Johny wi ll j oi n us.
Okay, done! I excl ai med.
D one! they yel l ed.
6
th
June, 2004
We had an obj ecti ve test that day.
I usual l y attempt a l ot of questi ons but many
of them get i ncorrect, l eadi ng to negati ve marki ng.
Whats the use? I sai d af ter the test.
N egati ve marki ng sucks man! I t spoi l s our
good work, Preet sai d.
Exams over guys! Stop t hese tri vi al
di scussi ons. Johny l oathed t hose di scussi ons.
Pl umbum di dnt li ke them ei ther.
One hour l ef t f or the movi e t o begi n. We
must make i t f ast. I dont want to mi ss the trai l ers
of other movi es, Saahil sai d.
D on t worry. Adverti sements of Vi cco
Vaj radanti mark the begi nni ng of the show. We
can ski p them as we have by-hearted them, I sai d.
K.O.T.A 95

We hi red an auto ti l l Om Ci nepl ex. I t was a
crowded pl ace that day because most of t he
students were out there to burst thei r stress.
The show began. Saahi l f ortunatel y di dnt mi ss
new trai l ers.
H um T um (You and Me) started runni ng. The
f i rst f ew l i nes of the movi e were qui te capti ve.
Fi rst God created t hi s worl d and t hen She
thought of creati ng a boy. She was proud of H er
creati on and then She rel axed f or a f ew days. She
then thought of creati ng a gi rl and si nce then
nei ther God coul d l i ve i n peace nor coul d the
boys. The worl d got di vi ded i nto two parts- H um
(boys) and Tum (gi rls).
The movi e revol ved around Sai f Al i K han i n
the rol e of K aran, f or whom gi rl s were anal ogi cal
to buses. A new one was al ways avai labl e af ter
every hal f an hour. But t hen he met Rhea (Rani
Mukherj ee) who changed hi s vi ews.
We were exci ted to f i nd Abhi shek Bacchan i n
a guest appearance not onl y i n t he movi e but al so
i n the l i f e of Rhea. Hi s acci dental demi se shook
the worl d around Rhea l eavi ng her as a wi dow.
I nterval
As expected, Rhea and K aran came cl oser af ter
that acci dent. Ri shi K apoor made a spectacul ar
entry as K arans daddy.
Go son. Go, bef ore i ts t oo l ate. 10 years ago I
l ost your mom because I kept my f eel i ngs buri ed
deep i nsi de my heart that l ed to a communi cati on
gap. D o you wish the same consequences?
Those words of Ri shi K apoor sti rred K aran
and f i nal l y he got Rhea. The movi e ended as
expected, i n a bli ss.

We came out of the hal l . When we reached our
rooms, a usual di scussi on f oll owed. I was
wonderi ng when H um (I ) woul d get Tum (Smi ta)
i n my case.
K.O.T.A 97

34
CRUSH E D

Go son. Go, bef ore i ts t oo l ate. D o you wi sh
the same consequences?
That di al ogue f rom H um T um kept echoi ng i n
my ears, prompti ng me to bl urt out al l my f eeli ngs
to Smi ta.
Accordi ng to the gi rl s equati on-
BEAUTY* AVAI LABI LI TY*BRAI N = CON STAN T,
Smi ta was an endangered speci es. I n I ndia, si nce
mal es are more t han f emal es, so the probabi l i ty of
f emal es getti ng commi tted i s very hi gh. And gi rl s
l ike Smi ta are more vul nerabl e to proposal s, thei r
f requency and number i ncreasi ng wi th ti me. So
my chances woul d be l owered i f I kept i dl e. I
thought t he recentl y concl uded test was the best
event t hat coul d be i ncl uded i n my topi c of
di scussi on wi th her.
6
th
COL-Y ou fi nd ex cuses t o meet her .
Rani l ooked hot i n thi s movi e, Preet sai d.
And Sai f , Mr. Cool , Saahi l sai d.
I sti l l wonder what temperature has got t o do
wi th normal human bei ngs. Thermodynami cs
suggested to me that temperature woul d have
f l owed f rom Rani to Sai f i f they hugged, ti l l both
attai ned a thermal equil i brium.
I l ove the chemi stry between them, Preet sai d.
From Physi cs to Chemi stry, a great r ed shi ft of
thoughts. The di scussi on went on f or an hour and
then, everyone was back to pendi ng APQs and
BT H .


N E XT D AY
Anot her combi ned cl ass i n the eveni ng. The
batches were then goi ng to be shuf f l ed on t he
basi s of the resul ts of the concl uded test.
I l oathed shuf f l i ng system. I f you f umbl e i n a
si ngl e test, you can hope to be i n a good batch i n
your dreams. Shuf f li ng was done twi ce or thri ce
annuall y and was a matter of concern f or me as I
was consi stentl y f all i ng down to l ower batches. I
shuf f l ed my thoughts f rom shuf f l i ng system to my
mi ssi on.
I was near my bi cycl e at the parki ng l ot wi th
Lakshya when I saw Smi ta. She was accompani ed
by another gi rl . She was i nchi ng cl oser to me and
my heart beats i ncreased. My heart was then a f rog
ready to j ump out. W hy am I so scar ed of her ? I t was
a conundrum I coul d never solve.
Speak t o her . W hat ar e you wai ti ng for ?
One part of my consci ence was pushi ng me
toward her whi l e the other was pull i ng me back
wi th an equal f orce, keepi ng my body i n a stati c
equi li bri um. She was about to cross me when I
broke that equil i brium.
H i Smi ta! H ow was your exam?
She di dnt f are wel l and so she was a bi t
i rri tated bef orehand. And my stupi d questi on
acted as a detonator f or the expl osi ve kept i nsi de
the nucl ear chamber of her heart. And then, she
expl oded.
Whats your probl em? I m not at al l i nterested
i n you and your sil l y questi on?
K.O.T.A 99

N o boy ever wi shes hi s Cr ush to crush and
dump hi m i n f ront of hi s f ri ends. I t was al l over. I
was very angry wi th her. But a part of my heart
sti l l advocated her stand. I t was my f aul t to ask
such a questi on and that too i n f ront of my
f ri ends.
That day I came to know the real def i ni ti on of
cr ush and my l ove f or Smi ta got crushed.

35
M E M E N T O

A month later
Resul ts of Subj ective test decl ared.
The answer sheets were checked and
di stri buted. Those sheets that were not cl ai med by
thei r owners due to absenteei sm were packed i n a
bundl e and thrown near t he noti ce board corner. I
was one such owner.
My perf ormance degraded so much that I
earned si ngl e di gi t numbers, l i ke an out of f orm
batsmans score. I was desperate to see my score
cross the si ngl e digi t mark. There I saw a huge pi l e
of sheets, dej ected and orphaned, pl eadi ng
someone t o take care of them. Some of t hem were
cri ppl ed as they got torn.
H i ! I f orgot your name. We were i n t he same
batch i n 11
th
, ri ght? Arj un sai d.
Arj un- a guy f ul l of doubts, who never f eared
of aski ng stupi d questi ons.
H i ! I guess you are Arj un?
Yes! And you? he asked.
Akash, I repli ed wi th a smil e. So what are you
doi ng here?
I have to search my answer sheet. Can you
hel p me out? he requested.
Why not? I wel comed.
Whi l e we were scanni ng the bundl e I came
across Smi tas answer sheet. I grew notori ous. She
was my f oe and I wanted to retal i ate. I kept i t
i nsi de my bag. We f ound Arjuns copy i n a f ew
mi nutes. H e thanked me and departed.
K.O.T.A 101

I rushed to my room and t ook out her answer
sheet. Al l ki nds of mi schi evous thoughts were
runni ng through my mi nd. I had a l ook at the
f ront page.
N ame- Smi ta Madaan
Fathers N ame- Ramesh Madaan
Batch- M-2
The handwri ti ng was turbi d though i t had the
f emi ni ne grace i n i t. I t suggested that she was i n a
hurry and some worry. But any day, i t was better
than mi ne.
The answer sheet had the f ormat of a pri nted
questi on and then some space f ree f or the answer.
One had to answer i n that very l i mi ted space. I t
was then f ol l owed by the next questi on and so on.
The students usi ng large f ont size i n thei r natural
word sof tware i .e. handwri ti ng, were the worst
af f ected.
The l evel of most of t he questi ons used to be
hi gher than t hei r I I T-JEE counterparts. Logi cal l y,
i f one can crack a tougher nut i ts much easi er to
crack a si mpl er one. I saw some empty space i n
her answer sheet as she l ef t some questi ons
unsol ved.
I f she s not abl e t o answer t hese quest i ons l et her sol ve a
few ot her s.
I wrote a f ew puzzl es i n the empty space and
chal l enged her to sol ve those, t he t oughest puzzl e
bei ng-
T her e ar e t hr ee guys-a Bli nd, a D eaf and a D umb.
D eaf el oped wi t h Bl i nd s wi fe and D umb saw t hi s. D umb
i s Bl i nd s best fr i end. H ow woul d he t el l Bli nd about i t ?
Sol ve t hi s, you dumbass.
I tol d Saahi l about i t.

H ow woul d she come to know that someone
has pl ayed mi schi ef ? Tear the f ront page, Saahi l
advised.
You are ri ght. She must know whom she has
messed wi th I nodded.
I tore the f ront page and kept i t i n my bag. I
dumped the answer sheet back to that l i tter of
orphaned sheets near noti ce board. But I never
knew that i t was goi ng to be a memento of my
l ove.
K.O.T.A 103

36
LB BYE ! SM I T A H I !

I I T -JE E 2004
LB and PB had perf ormed at t hei r l evel best to
make thei r way i nto presti gi ous I I Ts. But peopl e
see resul ts. They never care f or your ef f orts.
M AI N S resul t was out. Af ter conqueri ng
SCRE E N I N GS they were very much l ooki ng
f orward to i t.
H ear t 2 H ear t and Bi t s N Byt es went housef ul
that day. We were concerned f or the resul ts that
seal ed the f ate of thei r l i ves. LB came upstai rs
runni ng whi l e PB f oll owed wi th heavy steps. Thei r
moti on depi cted thei r resul ts.
AI R 1400! I di d i t Akash! Fi nall y I cl eared JEE
i n three at tempts. I shoul d have done i t i n the f i rst
attempt .
We were very happy to hear i t f rom LB but we
were equal l y sad about PBs di squali f i cati on. H e
di dnt say anythi ng. We coul dnt f eel the way he
di d as we were out of that si tuati on. We t hought i t
better t o keep our mouth shut and gi ve hi m some
ti me to recover.
T wo days later
An auto was standi ng just outsi de 1-PA-90.
Preet, Saahi l and I were to bi d f arewel l to LB and
PB. They were l eavi ng K ota f orever. I t was hard
to bi d bye. Li f e i s ephemeral but l ove and
f ri endshi p are eternal . We al l got emoti onal and
the auto set of f .
You woul d def i ni tel y get Smi ta and I I T. Al l
the best Akash! Those were the l ast words I heard
f rom the mouth of LB i n K ota.

We all came back l oaded wi th bul l ets of ol d
memori es.
Few weeks later
That page kept remi ndi ng me of Smi ta. I was
comi ng cl oser to her agai n. I was tryi ng to j usti f y
her stand.
I t s not her faul t . I f I woul d have been at her posi t i on I
woul d have done t he same. I s i t necessar y t o gi ve your not es
t o a st r anger ? Or i s i t necessar y t o bl ur t out your r esul t s t o
an unk nown face?
I t was then that I made up my mi nd to meet
her agai n. D i wal i hol i days were not f ar of f and she
was l eavi ng f or her native place as per my i nf o.
I went to check her cl ass ti mi ngs on the noti ce
board. H er cl ass was goi ng to be over by 7 P.M. I
al ready knew her hostel . I reached Gurukul
quarter to 7 and started st rol l i ng. I then thought of
perf ormi ng a Si mpl e H armoni c Moti on (SH M)
between her hostel and Gurukul wi th mean
posi ti on as K ota D ai ry.
I was clad i n a bl ack shi rt and bl ue j eans. I had
my bag on my shoul ders to gi ve me an apparent
student l ook. Fi ve osci ll ati ons of my SH M were
over when I saw her. She was i n a hurry.
Experi ence t ol d me that i ts worst to run behi nd a
gi rl . I was not i n a mood to repeat any of my
mi stakes.
She was approachi ng me. Agai n my heart beats
started i ncreasi ng by her D oppl er ef f ect and I f el t
nervous. I t was a f ace to f ace encounter.
She came cl oser and cl oser.
W hat ar e you doi ng, st upi d? She l l go away. Say
somet hi ng!
K.O.T.A 105

H er shoul ders just brushed mi ne when I broke
the si l ence.
H i Smi ta!
She cri nged wi th f ear.
H appy j ourney and Happy D i wal i i n advance.
My heartbeats then got normal . She smi l ed and
put stri des of hai r f all i ng on her cheek behi nd her
ears. She l ooked as beauti f ul as ever.
Thank you so much, she sai d.
I coul dnt expect any more. I was the happi est
person on the earth at t hat moment. She went
away but l ef t me crazy. When I reached home I
f ound two new f aces at 1-PA-90. Mudi t was the
new member of PB cum LBs room, and N i khi l ,
of my ex-room. Mudi t was i n 11
th
class and was
f ound mi ssi ng si nce the day he j oi ned. N i khi l was
i n N -4 batch. We both were i n F-7 i n the
begi nni ng and so we became f ri ends soon. H e
knew Smi ta and my story. H e shared hi s story too.
Mal i ni was the gi rl whom he l oved l i ke crazy. But
she was not i nterest ed and when he tri ed to ask
her name she repl i ed wi th a N O! I detested gi rl s
wi th such an atti tude. N ikhi l was heart-broken
si nce then. I consol ed hi m.
Comi ng D i wal i had much more i n store.


37
PRE -D I WALI

Akash, come out! Preet yel l ed near my door.
I m sol vi ng a tough APQ. Pl ease dont
di sturb, I repl i ed.
Crackers! D ont you li ke them?
Those words compel l ed me to open the door.
A week l ater we were goi ng to have our D iwal i
vacati on, the onl y week l ong vacati on i n Gurukul .
Crackers! Saahi l shouted f rom hi s room.
H e had t hat unbel i evabl e habi t of compl eti ng
al l hi s Gurukul work and then j umpi ng ont o al l
non-Gurukul activi ti es. N ikhi l too j oi ned us. We
were then roami ng on the busy roads, searchi ng
reckl essl y f or a cracker shop, whi ch we eventual l y
f ound.
Look, green Sut l i bombs (popul ar I ndi an
crackers)! I t makes noi se enough f or our landl ord
to come to our f eet, Preet sai d.
Li ke L or d Of T he Ri ngs we have Landl ord= L or d
Of T he L ands, Saahi l smi rked.
Lets buy a f ew f l ower pots and rockets, I
sai d, concentrati ng more on crackers.
We bought crackers wort h 200 Rupees. We
deci ded to put a cracker near pi gs resi dence f or
f un. Preet l i t f i re on i t and came runni ng. One
unf ortunate pi g, returni ng home f rui tl essl y saw the
gun-powder burni ng and got hypnoti zed. I t came
near to sni f f as eyes are vesti gi al to pi gs. They
pref er keepi ng t hei r noses i n t he f ront. I t came
near the cracker. We all hel d our breaths. The f i re
went of f momentari l y. The pi g groaned and took a
K.O.T.A 107

f ew steps back. I t agai n took a f ew brave steps
ahead and then Saahi l shouted, Get back, you
f ool !
Run! we al l roared. The pi g groaned and ran
to i ts maxi mum (max) speed.
Boom! The cracker expl oded j ust a f ew
seconds af ter that race f or survi val . The pig woul d
have surel y taken an oath not t o come back there,
f orever.
Later, our ni ght show commenced. Crackers
were set abl aze through candl es. Pl umbum, N i l esh
and Johny too came i n. Many bombs di sappoi nted
us by soundi ng more l i ke rockets. Some f l ower
pots transf ormed i nt o bombs, unexpectedl y. We
shi f ted the show f rom the road to our terrace.
I ts now the turn f or 7 H eavens. I t woul d bl ast
up i n the ai r to show al l what we got, Preet
shouted.
N i khi l i gni ted i t and shi t! I t expl oded on the
terrace di spl ayi ng 7 heavens on the earth. For us i t
created a hel l i nstead. Everyone di d a hi p hop to
save thei r hi ps. Someone ri ghtl y sai d- D ance i s i n
ever y act of li fe.
Soon the l ord of the l ands i .e. the landl ord
arri ved, grumbl i ng at the mani f est of our cracker
show.
You are not supposed to create a D ol by
D i gi tal i n our peacef ul house. H ave f un on the
road.
Our gang was driven back to the ground l evel
f rom the exci ted state.
Who the f uck i s bursti ng so many crackers. I
saw you twi ce and thri ce, a drunken man f rom
our nei ghborhood barked as he traced Preet out

of the crowd. Shoul d I pl ant a bomb at your
room? You Si ster Fucker, he sai d.
I heard that sl ang f or the second ti me. We
were about to ki ck hi s ass when Saahi l stopped us
al l .
Sorry Uncl e! Preet, l ets go, he sai d to
prevent a mi shap. Preet stood si l ent. H e f el t as
bad as I di d when I got abused i n t he same
manner.
H es badl y drunk, understand, Saahi l
whi spered.
That was the end of our show, though not on
a f ri endl y note.

K.O.T.A 109

38
WH E AT OS OR CH E AT OS?

Wheatos, a new restaurant i s goi ng to be
i naugurated today, Saahil sai d.
Lets try some new stuf f there toni ght, Preet
proposed.
I nodded. Even 13 di f f erent meal s at Sangam
coul dnt suf f i ce us. Human mi nd i s never sati sf i ed.
I t hates t o be monotonous. We al so wanted to
make our mood f resh af ter t hat f i re cracker
i nci dent, especi al l y Preet. N i khi l had some work
and so di dnt come. Mudi t was never f ound.
Maheshwari restaurant was the best i n K ota at
that ti me. But many restaurants capi tal ized on i ts
name and I proudl y took my parents to a bad
restaurant every ti me i n my tri al and error process.
I s thi s the Maheshwari restaurant you usual l y
boast of f ? my parents i nqui red.
Fi nall y, one day Saahil tol d me that the best
Maheshwari restaurant was about 16 ki l ometers
away. That di stance kill ed our desi res to go there.
Wheatos was our new hope, bei ng j ust three
kil ometers away.
I ts near Mesonances new bui l di ng, Saahi l
i nf ormed.
Mesonance was the bi ggest competi tor of
Gurukul . But Gurukul always got an edge because
of i ts el i te students.
We took our bi cycl es and dashed t oward
Wheatos. N ew Mesonance bui l di ng was the most
recent and gorgeous of al l the bui ldi ngs. I t soon
accl ai med the status of an i mportant l andmark.

Wi thi n mi nutes we were i n f ront of our
desti nati on-Wheatos. Bunch of boys and gi rl s
crowded the entrance area. We managed to get a
seat f or each of us af ter much struggl e. The
restaurant was f ul l y AC. I t was wel l decorated and
attenti ve wai ters f l anked al l over the pl ace. Menu
was presented bef ore us. Fancy di shes l i ke disco
samosa, val enti ne shake etc decorated i t. And then
we saw a mouth wateri ng pi cture of an i ce cream.
We shoul d try thi s one, cheapest of al l , Saahi l
suggested.
We ordered t hree Strawberry Si zzl er i ce-
creams. The wai ter made us wai t f or 20 l ong
mi nutes and then he turned up wi th three
beauti f ul gl asses. My j aws dropped down. Saahi l s
eye bal l s were out of hi s sockets. Preet was
scratchi ng hi s head.
D o you thi nk we are here just to taste two
spoons of an i ce-cream wi th a sil l y cherry on i ts
top f or Rs 40 when Cornetto, much l arger i n
quanti ty i s easil y avail abl e everywhere at Rs 10,
Saahi l shouted.
The wai ter shrugged.
I was about to l eave the tabl e but I di dnt l i ke
the noti on of wasti ng f ood. Soon the bi l l was
pl aced on our tabl e. We expected i t to be an af f ai r
of 120 Rupees f or the three of us. But t here came
a f i nal bl ow f rom Wheatos. 20% servi ce tax! That
was too much on the i naugurati on day i tsel f .
Students deserved concessi on but i n K ota no such
servi ce exi sted. Busi ness f l ouri shed onl y due to
students. So how coul d the term concessi on ever
ori gi nate? We f el t cheated.
K.O.T.A 111

We raced away f rom Wheatos as f ast as we
coul d. A l i t t l e k nowl edge about that pl ace was real l y
a ver y danger ous t hi ng f or our wal l ets. T he fi r st
i mpr essi on of Wheatos marked i ts l ast i mpr essi on. The
onl y doubt we had-
I s i t Wheatos or Cheatos?

39
GUN D E Y

H ey! There i s a match today, between I ndi a
and Pakistan. I t woul d be a ri veti ng encount er,
Saahi l announced.
A cri cket match! Preet exclai med.
My eyes were sti ll i mmersed i n the abyss of
unendi ng, stil l pendi ng APQs.
I came to know of M oder n V i deo L i brar y. I t
l ends T.V. sets, VCD pl ayers etc on a dail y basi s at
reasonabl e rates, Saahi l tol d.
My eyes were then f i xed on Saahi l .
But f rom where do we get a cabl e
connecti on? I asked.
N o cabl e connect i on, no mat ch.
D on t worry. I have a pl an. When Saahi l i s
there, nothi ng to f ear.
We al l knew- W hen Saahi l i s t her e, onl y t hen you
need t o fear . I t was hi s pl an t o go t o W heat os.
Lets f i rst pl ace an order f or a T.V. set, Saahi l
proposed.
Sorry Saahi l ! My APQs are sti l l i ncompl ete.
You take Preet al ong wi th.
APQs come dai l y but not I ndo-Pak cri cket
matches. D o you understand t he seri ousness of
these matches? I f you are a real patri ot wi th I ndian
bl ood gushi ng through your vei ns, j oi n us.
I was stunned. I s i t r eal l y t hat ser i ous?
Cri cket matches between I ndi a and Paki stan
are supposed to be the best means to gi ve a
K.O.T.A 113

bef i tti ng repl y to the opposi ti on, wi thout wagi ng a
real war. I ts a questi on of presti ge.
I ndi a and Pak i st an al ways want t o set t l e t hei r scor es.
I m comi ng. The patri oti c f eel i ng made me
di tch those APQs.
10 minutes later
We were standi ng i n f ront of M oder n V i deo
L i br ar y.
Phi l i ps or LG? the shop owner asked.
Anyone woul d do. We need the T.V. set ti l l
tomorrow morni ng, Saahil said.
D one! 100 Rupees. H e was more than happy
f or he had new customers i n his net.
Saahi l handed over 101 Rupees to hi m l i ke a
Shagun (Omen). The owner penned down our
contact detai l s i n a well mai ntai ned regi ster. Then
he sent f ew guys on a scooter to i nstal l i t i n
Saahi l s room. Landl ord was peeki ng outsi de when
the guys l ef t the house.
Saahi l then started executi ng hi s pl ans. H e had
a cabl e wi re and he connected i t to the cabl e wi re
of our son of a bi t ch nei ghbor, hangi ng on our
terrace. H e pi rated the cabl e connecti on i n that
way.
You woul d get us kil l ed, Preet yell ed.
Shut up and enj oy, Saahi l repl i ed.
H i s room was no l ess than Om Ci nepl ex. We
cl apped when I ndi an pl ayers outperf ormed
Paki stani counterparts. As expected, i t was a nai l
bi ti ng f i ni sh. Arti f i ci al nai l cutters l ost thei r
i mportance at that moment as natural ones were
worki ng voluntari l y. I was remi nded of t he cri cket
match we pl ayed i n the park. A si mi lar endi ng
seal ed the f ate of I ndian team that day.

I ndi an team i s a real ki l lj oy. They were never
goi ng to l ose. What was the need to hi t a si x on
the l ast bal l when onl y two runs were requi red?
Saahi l was di sappoi nted. And so were we. Preet
was avoi di ng eye contact wi th us as he di d the
same.
Ei ght hours wasted! That f act was bi ti ng me
hard. I coul d have f i ni shed two APQs by then.
N ext day
The shop owner al ong wi th an assi stant was
taki ng the T.V. set back when Saahi l s words
stopped hi m.
Bhai ya! We gave you one rupee extra. Pl ease
return i t because I ndi a l ost. I ts no more a
Shagun.
What? You Gundey (Goon)! he excl ai med.
We all started l aughi ng at that si l l y demand
made by Saahi l .
Si nce then t he shop owner ni cknamed us al l -
G undey (Goons) and we i n turn used to cal l hi m by
the same. But we were sti ll unaware of a name that
stri ked many great careers i n K ota.
K.O.T.A 115

40
COUN T E R ST RI KE

Preet turned up af ter a peri od of si x hours.
Where were you? I asked.
I was i n Mal lik, pl ayi ng Condi ti on Z ero aka
CS.
What?
CS, he repeated. Counter Stri ke. The best
mi ssi on game ever desi gned. Af ter compl eti ng Ri se
of N at i ons, I thought to l ay my hands on i t, he
expl ai ned.
Whats i t all about?
H e expl ai ned i t i n depth, as i f i t was i n I I T-
JEE syl labi .
I ts a battl e between notori ous terrori sts and
patri oti c Counter Terrori sts. Terrori sts t ry t o
perf orm thei r pi ous duty of scari ng the hel l out of
Counter Terrori sts by ki dnappi ng peopl e and
pl anti ng bombs, he sai d. Counter Terrori sts
perf orm the tedi ous task of bri ngi ng terrori sts
back to thei r senses, by di f f usi ng thei r bombs and
termi nati ng them to restore a state of l aw and
order.
Saahi l arrived wi th N i khi l and Pl umbum and
j oi ned the conversati on. Af ter al l , CS was hot
topi c among students.
Lets pl ay i t today, Saahi l suggested.
At Mal li ks, Preet shouted.
Lets do a ni ght out and experi ence t he real
f un of CS, Plumbum supported.
We compl eted al l our homework at supersoni c
speed to pl ay CS.

12 A.M .
Saahi l used to have a dupli cate key of the l ock
of our PGs gate.
Mal li k Bhai ya! Fi ve of us, Saahil ordered.
We got i nsi de and the shutters of t he shop
were cl osed.
Around 40 computers were bowi ng bef ore us.
But onl y f i ve were our sl aves f or that ni ght. Soon
Mal li ks was housef ul wi th a vari ety of CS f reaks.
They kept di scussi ng about thei r past games, and
kept pl otti ng strategi es f or that ni ght.
I woul d go to LA. You attack f rom SA, one
of them sai d.
What are these LA and SA? I whi spered i n
Preets ear.
Look! There are two bomb si tes-A and B. LA
means l onger route to A and SA ref ers to the
shorter one. You have to pl ay at l east three to f our
ti mes to memori ze the map, Preet expl ai ned.
Li ke a perf ect tutor he expl ai ned al l the
keyboard keys requi red and thei r f uncti ons.
For auto buy, press F1. You can buy grenades,
smoke bombs, K evl ar and H el met. Remember,
di f f usal ki t hel ps you i n di f f usi ng bombs rapi dl y.
K eep pressi ng E to pl ant or di f f use a bomb.
Battl e ensued. We f ive were a part of a 20
member Counter Terrori st cl an f i ghti ng agai nst a
20 member terrori st cl an. Everyone was
connected vi a LAN . For the f i rst three matches
none of us coul d ai m properl y at our enemi es
except Preet.
Try to ai m at the head of your opponent. I tl l
kil l i nstantl y, i n one shot, Preet suggested me vi a
headphone.
K.O.T.A 117

N ext round
I took N i ght H awk, Saahil a sub machi ne gun,
Preet a sni per, Pl umbum a shotgun and N i khi l
was a maveri ck wi th a maveri ck. And then our
enemi es started f al li ng down.
H ead shot. Wow! Preet excl ai med. We
el i mi nated half of our enemy cl an wi th headshots.
For the whol e ni ght, the game conti nued on j ust
two maps- I nfer no and D e D ust 2. Many regul ar
pl ayers patted our back f or such an extra-ordi nary
perf ormance.
We came back at 5 A.M. Landl ord came out
on heari ng the sl i ghtest of the noi ses made on t he
gate, as i f he was wai ti ng f or us f rom days.
Got up so earl y today? he asked i n suspi ci on.
Just some morni ng wal k, Uncl e! Saahi l sai d.
Two days l ater we had exams. But someone
more dangerous was comi ng to bi te me.


41
KEE D A

Sunday
Whol e worl d cel ebrated i t as a hol i day. But f or
us i t was a day f ul l of nightmares comi ng true.
Exam!
For many students, exams were f un. But f or
me, i t was a chance to
1) regai n l ost digni ty
2) i nch cl oser to my mi ssi ons- I I T-JEE and
Smi ta
3) make my parents proud
Exam got over by eveni ng. I was at my room
when Saahi l knocked at my door. I f ound a
strange countenance whom I never met earl i er.
H i ! Bhaskar, he sai d.
Al i as K eeda (I nsect), Saahi l i nterrupted. H es
i n M-2, Smi tas batch.
As ti me passed by, I i ncreased conversati ons
wi th K eeda. Eventual l y I f ound somethi ng that
scared the hel l out of me. K eeda had a sof t corner
f or Smi ta. And when he f ound the same about
me, l i ke pol es (sof t corners) repel l ed. H e tri ed hi s
best to make me put a bonf i re to that corner.
One day, he came up wi th news that shook
the worl d around me.
H i Akash! You know, Smi ta is engaged to a
guy f rom N -4 batch.
What?
I remai ned speechl ess f or a f ew seconds. She
l oves someone el se? I s t hi s t he end of my Chot i Si (Shor t )
L ove St or y? I was skepti cal of K eedas moti ves.
K.O.T.A 119

Just conf i rm i t f rom someone of N -4.
N -4. My mi nd kept googl i ng to f i nd out
hyperl i nks of that batch.
Search results- One f il e f oundN i khil .
A f ew hours l ater, I had a chat wi th N i khil and
tol d hi m the whol e matt er. H e gathered al l
rel evant i nf o about t hat guy who was supposedl y
i n af f ai r wi th Smi ta.
Akash, i ts a cooked up story by K eeda. You
know what that guy sai d?
I kept my f i ngers crossed.
W ho s Smi ta? I dont k now her . I s she hot ? Thats
al l he sai d.
N i khi l rel i eved me and my chances were stil l
al ive. I thanked hi m a l ot f or hi s ti mel y hel p.
Few days later
I ts worse news. Smi ta i s f ound roami ng wi th
a boy f rom UAV School .
I have nothi ng to do wi th her. So l et her roam
wi th anyone she l ikes. And keep your i nf o wi th
you. I showed my di si nterest to K eeda.
But I knew I was bot hered. I agai n set spi es to
f i nd out the veraci ty of K eedas story.
2
nd
COL - Y ou become possessi ve about her and you feel
j eal ous of al l t hose guys who wander ar ound her.
That ti me Agent Johny came to my rescue.
K eeda is ki ddi ng. H e i s actual l y her good
f ri end. Thats i t. Shes sti l l si ngl e. Johnys words
were more than a consol ati on pri ze f or me.
Conclusion- K eeda was synonymous to an
i nsect, ready to bi te me anyti me.
Saahi l i ntroduced K eeda to me. And soon he
i ntroduced somethi ng wil der to me.
A BF.

42
BF

BF.
A term thats on the tongues of all .
I n Pastry shops- Bl ack For r est .
I n Banks- Br ought For ward.
H ow many BFs do you have? Oh! Just seven
Boy Fr i ends? gi rl s of ten di scuss.
Cars too have a BF. I f someone makes a BF of
your car then onl y God can save you. Br ak e Fai l ,
the worst condi ti on af ter gai ni ng speed.
But f or boys, BF ref ers to Bl ue Fi l ms. Fi l ms
meant f or vi ewers of age group 18 and above.
Wi th a f aster rate of maturi ty among boys and
gi rl s, BF attracted a younger audi ence too.
I never understood the l ogi c behi nd the col or
bl ue. Why they were not ref erred t o as ul travi ol et
f i l ms or rather i nf rared? Bl ue means gl oomy but
they never were.
I n K ota peopl e gave them an even f anci er
name- A BC. I ni ti al l y they were grouped i nto X ,
X X , X X X based on the extent of nudi ty i n them.
But then t hey were renamed as A BC i n K ota. I m
sure that H ol y F ai t h publi shers woul d keep
grudgi ng about that, as they have books named
A BC of Math, A BC of Physi cs and so on.
Akash! H ave you ever seen a BF i n your l i f e?
Saahi l asked.
I shook my head.
Come on boy! Grow up. I ts ti me t o l earn.
D ont end up i n a nerd. You shoul d have
knowl edge of everythi ng, Saahil advi sed.
K.O.T.A 121

I s i t compul sory? I dont real l y wi sh to see al l
that stuf f i nnocent l ooki ng gi rl s getti ng wil d, I
ref used.
What woul d you do when Smi ta gets wil d?
Saahi l asked, raisi ng hi s brow.
Pl ease dont i nvol ve her i n these stupi d stuf f s.
I don t l ove her that way. I f that was the case, I
woul d have ended runni ng behi nd your sexy
Kaj al , I sai d, shi el di ng Smi ta.
5
th
COL - I t s spi ri tual and much mor e t han lust .
Every gi rl has some desi res and i f they arent
met, you are surel y goi ng to be dumped. Af ter al l
gi rl s are more desperate f or sex than boys, Saahi l
sai d, ref l ecti ng hi s vast knowl edge i n that f i el d.
Pl umbum and Begi too are j oi ni ng me. You
are most wel come. Just try i t once, Saahi l wi nked.
Begi was our new f ast f ri end and Saahil s batch
mate. H e was a f ootbal l f reak.
Gundey woul d be very happy today as we are
hi ri ng a T.V. set and a D VD pl ayer f rom hi m af ter
a l ong ti me, he conti nued.
Few hours l ater Preet arri ved wi th Plumbum
and Begi . We exchanged a H i . Preet, are you
goi ng to watch a BF toni ght? I asked. H e shook
hi s head.
Saahi l and I went to Gundeys shop t o pl ace
the order. Thats i t. I m not i nterested i n BFs.
Saahi l woul d be back soon, Preet sai d.
N i khi l was stayi ng at hi s batch mates room t o
di scuss some APQs that ni ght. For the whol e
ni ght I heard moani ng of gi rl s as Saahi l turned up
the speakers to the l oudest. The screams were
peri odi c.

Saahi l , reduce the volume! D ont create a
D ol by D i gi tal i n our peacef ul house, l andl ord
shouted. H e was standi ng just bel ow the bal cony,
on the ground f l oor.
Sorry Uncl e, i t wont be repeated. We were
j ust l isteni ng to some pi ous opera, Saahil repl i ed
f rom the bal cony.
I came out to f i nd the door of hi s room
parti al l y open. I saw Pl umbum and Begi sti l l
watchi ng the T.V. when Saahil headed downstai rs
to paci f y the l andl ord. Thei r f aces depi cted
i nnocence, as i f they were watchi ng some new
di scovery on D i scover y Channel .
Preet came out as well . We entered Saahil s
room to check out the truthf ul ness of hi s words.
There I saw a topl ess gi rl and a boy shaki ng hi s
member, on the T.V. screen. Preet and I ran of f
the si te to prevent f urther corrupti on of our
mi nds.
K.O.T.A 123

43
BAAZ I GAR

Wake up boys! I ts Sunday. Ti me f or cri cket,
Saahi l shouted whi l e weari ng hi s shoes.
Preet, N i khi l and I came out of our rooms, sti l l
rubbi ng our eyes.
Today we are goi ng to pl ay on a real cri cket
pi tch compl etel y di f f erent f rom t he one we had at
MCG, Saahi l sai d.
Where? Preet asked.
Commerce Col l ege Ground.
We reached the ground by 7:00 A.M. That
Sunday we had no exams. But extra-cl asses were
sti l l a matter of concern.
Johny, Pl umbum, Mayank, H emant, Begi were
al l wai ti ng f or us. Pl umbum and Begi were
narrati ng thei r f i rst BF experi ence to the rest when
we j oi ned. The onl y thi ng Saahil missed badl y at
that ground was a gi rls hostel .
Mayank and H emant were f ast/ medium pace
bowl ers. H emant had been a state l evel pl ayer
bef ore getti ng i nto Gurukul . H e was i n L-1.
Mayank was not t hat good i n studi es as he was i n
cri cket.
Teams were deci ded and toss was done.
H emant was the captai n of my team and we had
to bowl . Saahi l and Mayank opened the i nni ngs
f or thei r si de. Saahi l al ways l oved to be the captai n
of the shi p.
H emant bowl ed the f i rst over wi th accurate
l i ne and l ength. And then i t was my turn to bowl
the second over.

2.1- Si x. Mayank whacked i t over the covers.
2.2- Four. That ti me on the l eg si de.
Mayanks batti ng styl e was an exact repl i ca of
Moi n K hans (popul ar Pakistani wi cket keeper).
H e was not a very good batsman because he
cl osed hi s eyes and by some luck f actor, he got a
sweet ti mi ng f rom the mi ddl e of hi s bat. As a
bowl er I had to do somet hi ng. And f or any f ast
bowl er, the sl ower one is a ti tani c change.
2.3- Sl ower one. H e missed.
2.4- Agai n a sl ower one. D ot bal l !
2.5- Sl ow of f cutter. Edged but saf e! D ot bal l !
2.6- Sl ow l eg cutter. Bol d!
Then Johny came to the crease. 16/ 1.
I was f i el di ng at l ong of f . I saw two dogs
strol l i ng past me. I became cauti ous.
H emants next over began.
3.1- Ball hi t strai ght toward me and what a
mi shap! I saw dogs runni ng behi nd me as I ran t o
f i el d the bal l . I l et the bal l go and ran toward t he
bowl er. 4 runs, j ust because of those stupi d,
bal l phi ll i c dogs. For some ti me we became
spectators of dog cri cket. I was sure that there
wont be any M an of t he M at ch award f or such an
ani mal dri ven match.
The owner of those dogs barked, Gi ve them
thei r bal l . And l ike good ani mal s, the dogs
surrendered the bal l .
The pl ay resumed. The batsmen deci ded to
have a go on the bowl ers and then i t was a shower
of runs. At the end of t he i nni ngs, Saahi l and
Johny were sti ll not out and the score board
showed 80/ 1. We had onl y ei ght overs to achi eve
that target. H emant and I opened t he i nni ngs and
K.O.T.A 125

i n the very f i rst over we l ost the preci ous wi cket
of H emant. H e l of ted the bal l up i n the ai r, under
pressure and our team l ost al l hopes of wi nni ng.
But I wanted to prove my mettl e.
I t woul d be my best i nni ngs ever, I made a
si l ent promi se to Smi ta resi di ng i n my mi nd. And
then I pl ayed wi thout f ear, wi thout f laws.
We l ost no more wi ckets and managed to get a
score of 60/ 1 at the end of the penul ti mate over.
21 runs were requi red to wi n i n the l ast over. I was
at the stri kers end, f aci ng Johnys bowl i ng.
7.1- Long, high and maxi mum. Si x!
7.2- Even hi gher. Another Si x!
H emant came runni ng to hug me. I turned the
ti de of the match.
7.3- I hi t the bal l strai ght to Saahi l . I was
pushi ng f or a doubl e. But bri ll iant f i el di ng on hi s
part reduced i t to a si ngl e.
7.4- D ot ball ! Johny was then smi li ng.
7.5- Another si ngl e.
Last ball ! 7 runs requi red.
7.6- I l of ted the bal l but i t bounced j ust bef ore
the f ence. 4 runs! We l ost the match by 2 runs.
Sti l l I won kudos f or my best knock ever.
We stol e al l the hearts that day and became
Baazi gar (Gambl er) by our perf ormance. But on
the comi ng Sunday, someone stol e much more.


44
M AI D

Mai ds.
The sol e agents meant f or keepi ng cl othes and
rooms of busy I I T aspi rants cl ean. I met many
mai ds i n my I I T-JEE j ourney. But one needs a
speci al menti on. Chamel i .
She was dusky, 45 years ol d, very l ean and
short statured. She had a thi n cheek owi ng to
tobacco addi cti on. She was not that good i n her
work as we expected. Yet we consol ed oursel ves
as Somet hi ng i s better than N ot hi ng. But one day
everythi ng changed- our vi ews, Chameli s
demands and Preets bank bal ance.
Sunday, 10 A.M .
I was studyi ng systemati call y f or Gurukul
exams when a knock at my door caught my
attenti on.
Everythi ng f i ne, Preet? I asked. H e entered
i nsi de.
Cl ose the door. I have some secret i ntel l i gence
report f or you, he whi spered.
H e sat on my bed as I cl osed the door. I got
seated on my study chai r.
What report? I ventured.
Our mai d i s a thi ef .
What?
Shhhh! She sti l l thi nks I m ignorant of the
whol e i nci dent.
El aborate, I commanded.
K.O.T.A 127

Actual l y last ni ght I encashed Rs 8000 f rom
ATM to deposi t tui ti on f ees at St. Johns School ,
he tol d.
Where di d you keep your cash? I asked.
On my study rack, just above my books.
So you kept your money on a rack where t he
whol e worl d can see i t?
I had to deposi t the money today morni ng, he
j ustif i ed.
But you shoul d have kept i t saf e. D o you have
any sol i d proof of her bei ng the thi ef ?
You need a proof ? Shes sweepi ng Saahi l s
room and next i s yours. Lets keep a 5 Rs coi n on
your f l oor. Just wai t and watch, Preet sai d and
took out hi s wal l et.
The whol e process was no l ess than a school
experi ment.
AI M - To determi ne the real cul pri t.
APPARAT US- Rs 5 (unbi ased coi n), a room
wi thout tenant.
T H E ORY- N ewtons l aw of robbery states
that money, i f kept open, i s subj ected t o an
autonomous pul l by an external agent cal l ed
robber. Thi s process i s termed as robbery.
PROCE D URE -
1) Pl ace the coi n on the f l oor.
2) Leave your room steal thil y.
3) Take your observati ons f rom a di f f erent
l ocati on. A bathroom i snt a bad choi ce.
4) Repeat the above steps ti ll the coi n is f ound
mi ssi ng and the cul pri t i s caught red handed.
5) D raw an observati on tabl e.
RE SULT - ______i s the cul pri t.

We di dnt have spy cams or cel l phones wi th
vi deo recordi ng f aci li ty and most i mportantl y,
ti me.
Preet ran to bl urt out the matter t o Saahi l and
N i khi l when Chamel i entered my room. Mudi t as
expected was not i n hi s room. We took
observati ons f rom Preets room. Af ter she came
out of my room, I entered. Preet came runni ng.
Saahi l and N i khil f ol l owed hi m.
N o coi n. Chamel i i s the cul pri t, Preet
decl ared.
We reported the whol e matter to Landl ords
wi f e. She came upstai rs to settl e the matter.
Chamel i , where are Preets 8000 Rupees? We
know you have i t, she shouted.
What? Memsaahab (l ady l ord), never bef ore
had anyone bl amed me f or any thef t i n my
sweepi ng career of 15 years. I dont want to work
here anymore.
She threw the broom on the f l oor i n di sgust as
i f i t wasnt Preet but she who l ost 8000 Rupees.
We were not abl e to do a qui ck scan as she bei ng a
woman kept money i n that porti on of her body
where we coul d have never asked f or.
She qui t the j ob. N o money back of f er. I was
remi nded of that F.I .R i nci dent i n whi ch LB l ost
10,000 Rupees.
Shi t, I l ost 8000 Rupees, Preet sai d i n despai r.
8005 Rupees. Forgot that 5 Rs coi n? Saahi l
remi nded.
Chamel i swept Preets bank bal ance. But
somethi ng bi gger was comi ng to sweep whol e
K ota.
K.O.T.A 129

45
FLOOD

Saturday, 7 A.M .
Akash, wake up! Gates of K ota Barrage have
surrendered to the i ndomi tabl e water f orce, Saahi l
yel l ed.
I j umped out of my bed. Preet and N i khi l too
came out of thei r rooms. We al l ran toward the
bal cony to f i nd a stream of water gushi ng through
the road l eadi ng to Gurukul .
Al l ni ne gates of K ota barrage al ong the
Chambal Ri ver have been opened t o rel ease the
overf l owi ng water af ter i ncessant rai ns, and so f ar
17000 cusec water has been rel eased, Saahi l
el aborated.
Yes! H ol i day, Preet was elated.
Pl umbum and I are goi ng to check i t out,
Saahi l announced.
Lets take my scooter, Plumbum of f ered.
15 minutes later
Look at Plumbum! N ikhi l poi nted.
Pl umbum was di shevel ed, as if he j umped i n a
swi mmi ng pool of pigs i .e. drai n.
A f unny i nci dent took pl ace, Saahil sai d. I
was ri di ng the scooter wi th Pl umbum si tti ng at the
back. N ear Gurukul , so much water accumul ated
that ti res of the scooter got i nvi si bl e.
And then Saahi l di d the unf orgi vabl e. H e
changed the gear of t he scooter wi thout usi ng
cl utch. The f ront ti re j umped i nto the ai r and I f el l
down i nto the ri ver of pi gs, Plumbum
compl ai ned.

I j ust saw one hand goi ng down sl owl y, same
l ike a drowni ng scene i n a movi e, Saahi l
dramati zed. We all were then drowned i n t he
torrent of l aughter.
By the way today i s a hol i day. The ground
f l oor of Gurukul i s f l ooded wi th water. Even SPs
car got stuck up i n the f l ood, Pl umbum said.
Lets go to Sangam. I pray that i t remai ns
open, Preet sai d.
I m al so f eel i ng hungry, Ni khil decl ared.
Sangam was f ortunate because i t had di ni ng
f acil i ti es on the f i rst f l oor unl i ke other mess
centers. Soon the rai ncoats and umbrel l as were
out. The most chal l engi ng part was to wade
through the f l ood water, wi th the stream f orce
bendi ng us on our knees.
N ature i s more powerf ul than humans. Sti l l
our i ntel l igence and wil l power overpowers i t.
D uri ng the enti re j ourney to Sangam I f el l down
twi ce. I then came to know about the j uggernaut
f l ui d f orce f or the f i rst ti me.
Sangam i s not crowded as usual . Thank you
f l ood, I sai d.
Onl y ei ght students i ncludi ng f ive of us,
Pl umbum counted.
The meal was deli ci ous. We were then back to
our rooms. But the torrent amused us so much
that we deci ded to go back. N ever bef ore i n my
l i f e had I seen a f l ood. The water was at wai st l evel
and so, not dangerous.
We took a pl asti c ball to pl ay. When we
reached the road, we di scovered many students
al ready pl ayi ng and danci ng i n water. We j oi ned
the party and started Cat ch-Cat ch game. N i khil and
K.O.T.A 131

Preet f ormed one t eam. Pl umbum, Saahil and I
were i n the ri val team. Our team was stronger,
Saahi l and I bei ng good f i el ders. But as i t was a
f ri endl y match, we del i beratel y underperf ormed.
N i khi l di ved i nto the water three ti mes to make
hi s catches l ook spectacul ar. And then we saw the
unexpected.
A pi g came f l owi ng by and was groani ng. I t
was the same water i n whi ch we were pl ayi ng, the
same water i n whi ch Preet di pped hi s f ace and the
same water that N i khil gul ped ignorantl y.
Everybody gave a nauseated expressi on. We
thought i t bet ter to l eave at the earl i est so as t o
avoi d pol luti ng i t more wi th our vomi ts. We were
wonderi ng whether we woul d ever agai n
encounter a f l ood l ike that. We dared to play i n
that f l ood and soon we were to pl ay, to dare.

46
JOH N Y GADD AR

Akash! Stil l studyi ng? Come on Phodu.
Tomorrow i s Gandhi Jayanti (bi rt h anni versary),
Johny remi nded.
I barel y real i zed the f act that i t was real l y a
hol i day. I n K ota, coachi ng students di d f orget the
real def i ni ti on of hol idays.
Was i t menti oned on t he noti ce board? I
i mmedi atel y asked.
I ts a nati onal hol i day. D ont you know that?
Preet answered my si ll y questi on.
We al ready had our meals by then. Saahi l was
sti l l i nvi si bl e, hi s room bei ng l ocked. We were
busy i n our eveni ng di scussi ons when N i l esh and
Saahi l j oi ned us.
Lets pl ay T rut h Or D ar e, Saahi l proposed.
N i ce i dea! Preet and Johny were el ated. I was
al so exci ted. N i l esh took a sof t dri nk bottl e t o
begi n the game.
H ey! Thats my bottl e, Saahil protested.
Just f or toni ght buddy, N il esh resi sted.
We all sat down f ormi ng a ci rcl e. Johny set t he
bottl e rotati ng and i t hal ted, poi nti ng toward
Johny hi msel f .
D are, he sai d i nstantl y.
Everybody out t here was aware of the grave
consequences of taki ng a T r ut h.
You have to ri ng the bel l of our son of a bi t ch
nei ghbor, I demanded.
Johny shook hi s head. Al l eyes were transf i xed
on hi m.
K.O.T.A 133

Okay! he surrendered.
H e ran downstai rs and rang the bell .
Whos there? a f emi ni ne voi ce f rom our
nei ghbors i nqui red.
Johny repl i ed by spri nti ng as f ast as he coul d.
I t was a questi on of l i f e or death f or hi m, as i f he
was a prey to a hungry tigress. H e f i nal l y j oi ned us
wi th sweat accompanyi ng hi m.
I A m A l i ve! he sang.
The bot tl e was agai n set f or a roll and that ti me
i t poi nted toward N i khil .
Truth.
Unbel i evabl e! I t wasnt expected of N ikhi l .
Tel l us about your gi rl f ri end, a demand came
f rom al l other mouths.
Leave thi s questi on. What about Mal i ni ? D o
you stil l have a crush upon her? Saahil wi nked.
I was the onl y one to commi serate wi th N i khi l
at that moment . H i s crush f or Mal i ni was crushed.
I came to know shes a D el hi te. D o you have
any i dea of D el hi gi rls? They dump boys l ike crap.
I hope she i snt one such, Saahil conti nued.
N i khi l s f aci al expressi ons suggested he wasnt
pl eased to hear that. Johny set t he bottl e rotati ng
to change the topi c. The bot tl e poi nted at Preet.
D are! hi s i nstant repl y.
D o 30 pushups, Johny demanded.
What? Cant i t be reduced to some novi ce
l evel? Preet begged.
Af ter 20 pushups he f ell down.
The bottl e was agai n set rotati ng and then t he
worst happened. I t f ool i shl y poi nted toward me.
D are!

K i ss the person i n thi s ci rcl e whom you l ove
the most, Johny demanded.
I thought f or a second and ki ssed Saahil s
cheek.
Fl ee, you gay! Saahi l uttered.
Preet was upset. But he soon took i t sporti ngl y
as he real ized that i t was just a game.
Thats unf ai r. You have to ki ss on hi s l i ps,
N i l esh shouted.
Saahi l gl ared at N il esh.
Bottl e was set rotati ng f or t he l ast ti me. And
agai n i t showed i ts tongue to Johny.
Shi t! he excl ai med.
You have to run 10 rounds on the terrace of
our son of a bi t ch nei ghbor, I ordered i nstantl y.
H ey! Whats the probl em? You had the quarrel
wi th that son of a bi t ch and I m your trumpet now.
Johny knew t hat he had no choi ce. We went
on our terrace. Si nce there was onl y a smal l wal l i n
between our nei ghbors and our terrace, Johny
j umped to the other si de and started runni ng. Al l
of us started cl appi ng. H e j umped back to our
terrace opposi ng our applause.
Saal e Johny G addar (Trai tor)! Go back! Who
asked you to take dare? N ow dont cheat! Preet
yel l ed.
We f orced hi m to run agai n ti l l a f emi ni ne
voi ce hal ted hi s spri nt.
Whos on the terrace?
That ti me we al l ran. We l anded saf el y i nto my
room and started l aughi ng. I was wonderi ng when
woul d we agai n set the bottl e rotati ng and what
woul d be my choi ce then- T r ut h or D ar e?

K.O.T.A 135

47
SPLI T SVI LLA-2

Mi sunderstandi ngs are li ke sparks that can
i gni te f i re wi thi n the hearts of even best f ri ends
resul ti ng i n mishaps, eventual l y burni ng everyone
comi ng thei r way. I t sparked between me and
Saahi l and l ater between me and Arpi t. And then i t
took pl ace between Saahil and N ikhi l .
I t was late i n the eveni ng when Preet entered
my room. I was busy wi th my APQs, f eel i ng the
heat of the work l oad and exams. We were
di scussi ng the most uni mportant topi cs on t he
earth. Al l of a sudden we heard some noi se.
Somebody was grumbli ng.
D i d you hear that noi se? Preet asked.
But whats i t? I wondered.
Preet went t o check i t out and came back
runni ng.
Akash, make i t f ast to Saahil s room. U sne
Chul ha Pat ak D i ya (H e crushed ovens)!
We both dashed to hi s room t o f i nd hi m and
N i khi l stati c and gl ari ng at each other. I t was l ike a
scene of an art movi e where everyone was sti ll f or
a f ew mi nutes.
What do you thi nk of yoursel f ? N i khi l
adjusted hi s vocal cords volume to the max l evel .
K eep your vol ume down. I t oo know how t o
shout, Saahil roared.
Whats happeni ng? I asked. But they heard
not hi ng.
Why di d you utter the name of Mal i ni i n
between T r ut h or D ar e? Ni khil demanded.

I ts j ust a game, stupi d, Saahi l repl i ed.
You thi nk me t o be stupi d because I m i n a
l ower batch. Who do you thi nk you are?
N i khi l misunderstood Saahi l . H e was al ready
f rustrated because of Mali ni s atti tude and Saahil s
words acted as oil f or f i re. The temperature of t he
room was i ncreasi ng because of that heated
argument.
I never sai d thi s. But i f you thi nk so then i ts
wel l and good.
What has happened t o you both? Why are you
behavi ng l ike ki ds? Preet asked.
I was sandwi ched between them and was an
i nsulator f or the heated set up. Saahi l s f i st then
passed my ri ght ear and l anded on N i khi l s chest.
And then another. I was j ust l i ke an unf ortunate
ref eree of a wrestl i ng match. N i khi l pushed me
asi de and retal iated by ki cki ng Saahi l s abdomen.
Preet and I tri ed to stop the ugl y dog f ight l i ke
si tuati on. Fi nal l y we took control over the two
beasts dwel li ng i nsi de those two bodi es.
N i khi l was very upset. H e rushed to hi s room.
I f ol l owed hi m. H e hi d his f ace wi th hi s hands i n
despai r. I put a hand on hi s shoul der to consol e
hi m.
H e has the ri ght to say anythi ng to me because
I m i n a l ower bat ch. But do t el l hi m that some
thi ngs are greater than these petty batches- your
cul ture, your f ri endshi p and your vi rtues.
I was then sure that N i khi l mi sunderstood
Saahi l . But what he said was absolutel y right.
1-PA-90 was agai n a Spl i tsvil la. We tri ed to
make a patch up between them but cracks that
appear i n a mi rror are dif f i cul t to repai r.
K.O.T.A 137

A few days later
I knocked at Saahi l s door. I was surpri sed to
f i nd N ikhi l openi ng i t up.
Come i n Akash. N i khil is so f unny. H es
skepti cal that Preet woul d ever opt f or l ove
marri age. I thi nk Preet woul d pref er to marry PC
games. Even i f he goes f or an arrange marri age, he
woul d ask f or computer games and pl ay stati ons i n
dowry, Saahil said.
I coul dnt stop a smi l e on my f ace. I was happy
to f i nd the f i ssure produced i n the gl asshouse of
f ri endshi p repai red. I was hopef ul that peace and
tranqui li ty prevai l i n 1-PA-90 so that i t never
becomes a Spl i tsvi ll a agai n. A treat was a must
af ter such good news and we soon got i t.


48
UN ST OPPABLE

We were perchi ng i n my room, di scussi ng al l
possi bl e matters exi sti ng on thi s pl anet. Usual l y
one started debati ng on some pet ty topi c and then
we all di ved f rom one pool t o another- f rom
hi story t o mystery, f rom tax to sex, f rom banks to
tanks. That was a common f eature i n the rooms of
al l the students of K ota. D ebates and di scussi ons
were the best ti me pass exi sti ng at that ti me.
Ani sh, a common f ri end of Preet, Saahi l and mi ne
ended all debates through his proposal .
Fri ends, my mom has arri ved today morni ng
f rom Mumbai . She was aski ng about you guys. D o
come to my room today, Ani sh sai d.
Sure! I af f i rmed.
An even better i dea, N il esh started.
What? Saahi l asked.
Lets have a t reat f rom Ani sh i n t he f orm of a
di nner prepared by Aunti e. I t has been a l ong ti me
si nce we had homemade f ood. N o doubt,
Sangams meal i s comparabl e to a f i ve star hotel ,
sti l l i t mi sses the magi cal homel y f l avor, N i l esh
proposed.
Why not? I t woul d be a great pl easure. You al l
are i nvi ted, Ani sh sai d.
By eveni ng, we all were set f or the bl ast.
We al l f ormed a ci rcl e at Ani shs room, as i f
f or a round tabl e conf erence. N i l esh had hi s
bowel s compl etel y empty so as to grab t he max
out of t hat del i ci ous banquet. When Aunti e
K.O.T.A 139

arri ved i n the hal l where we were seated, we
touched her f eet as a mark of reverence.
N amast e (Greeti ngs)! I hope you guys li ke
Sattu parathas (type of f l at-breads). Or shoul d I
prepare somethi ng el se? Aunti e was skepti cal
about our choi ce. But l i ke good boys, we were
there to taste the f l avor of homel y l ove.
Sattu Paratha i s a f amous di sh of N ort h I ndi a,
especi all y U.P. and Bi har. I ts very nutri ti ous. I t
remi nded us of SB.
Af ter watchi ng al l contented f aces, Aunti e
rushed to the temporary ki tchen adj oi ni ng the hal l .
She tri ggered the process of maki ng del i ci ous
Sattu parathas. I t was no l ess than a nucl ear
reacti on. The smel l f rom the ki tchen compel l ed
the rats i n our st omachs to j ump and f i ssi on i nto
more. N i l esh was the worst af f ected.
Ani sh was the host f or the eveni ng. H e
f ol l owed hi s moms i nstructi ons and kept the
pl ates f or each one of us. And then the l ong wai t
got over. Aunti e arri ved wi th a hot case f ul l of hot
Sattu parathas. I ts sci enti f i call y proved that
temperature af f ects the taste of f ood materi al s.
But we never had any i dea of the grave
consequences l yi ng ahead.
Ani sh kept a paratha i n each pl ate i ncludi ng hi s
and then we al l pounced upon i t. The scene was
anal ogous to the one f rom Sat t e pe Sat t a (popul ar
Bol l ywood movi e) i n whi ch al l seven brothers
pounce upon t he meal prepared by H ema M al i ni
(very popul ar Bol l ywood actress ni cknamed as
D reamgi rl ).
Af ter havi ng f our parathas, all of us were done
except one. For N i l esh- A bhi t o shur uwat hai (I ts

j ust the begi nni ng). We were mere spectator i ons
of hi s chemi cal reacti on to that nucl ear reacti on.
6,7,8,9.
H e was U N ST OPPA BL E . The onl y questi on
was- Paet hai k i k uan? (I s i t a stomach or a well ?)
H i s answer to that was- I ts nei ther. I ts i n f act
a tube wel l . Al l eyes were transf i xed upon hi m-
some gazi ng, others gl ari ng.
Leave some parathas f or Aunti e. Show some
mercy, Johny pl eaded.
I t then came to N i l esh that he had enough and
he had to f orsake hi s beastl y hunger f or her. The
treat got over. We thanked Aunti e f or the
wonderf ul di nner and agai n touched her f eet.
We al l were prayi ng f or a si mi l ar treat i n the
near f uture. N il eshs appeti te horri f i ed us, but
soon we came to know the real def i ni ti on of
horror.
K.O.T.A 141

49
PARAN ORM AL ACT I VI T Y

D o you bel i eve i n ghosts? Preet asked.
I do, I repl i ed. What about you?
I havent experi enced any Par anor mal A ct i vi t y
so f ar. So sci enti f i call y speaki ng, I dont bel i eve i n
them. But theres a part of my heart that does
bel i eve i n them.
I bel i eve i n soul s and not ghosts. You know
theres an anal ogy between soul s and computers.
H ow can you say that?
We both were si tti ng on my bed, wonderi ng
over the exci ti ng topi c of souls and spi ri ts.
Computer i s basi cal l y composed of two
thi ngs. Can you name them? I asked.
Moni tor and CPU, he sai d conf i dentl y.
I was tal ki ng about hardware and sof tware, I
di sagreed. Whats the speci al ty of sof tware?
I t exi sts vi rtual l y.
Bang on! Sof tware exi sts wi thi n the computer
but we cant f eel i t or t ouch i t. I n the same way
soul exi sts wi thi n the body to operate i t. Body i s
the hardware of human machi nery, t he soul i ts
sof tware, I expl ai ned.
Great theory! he excl ai med.
D o you know about Planchette? I asked.
N o.
I ts a devi ce to communi cate wi th the worl d of
spi ri ts, a board on whi ch al phabets and numeral s
are wri tten. A coi n or a bottl e cap i s pl aced on i t,
I reveal ed.
Then?

Then we have to concentrate hard and
enchant some verses to request the soul to ent er
that coi n/ cap. Af t er t hat we start t he vi va voce
wi th spi ri ts and they answer by movi ng the
coi n/ cap.
Reall y, can i t move by i tself ?
Yeah! But we need t o keep our f i ngers on i t t o
keep i t under control . Otherwi se the soul gets out
and the pl ace becomes haunted f orever
Preet gul ped.
A knock on the door scared us both. Preet
stood up i n sl ow moti on to open the door.
Why so seri ous? Saahi l asked.
Ei nstei n and N ewton were di scussi ng about
rel ati vi ty and gravi ty, Johny commented.
Akash knows how to communi cate wi th t he
soul s of dead, Preet blurted out.
Reall y? Saahil asked i n suspi ci on.
N i khi l entered my room at that j uncture.
I dont bel i eve i n such thi ngs. Oh, come on!
We are sci ence students, Johny sai d.
D one! Saahi l wanted to mock me. H e di dnt
bel i eve i n i t and so he wanted to prove me wrong.
N i khi l was i nterested i n doi ng somethi ng Out
Of Cour se, not onl y wi th respect to Gurukul but
al so to the real worl d. The deadl y game
commenced as we enchanted some l i nes to cal l
the spi ri t.
Are you there? I asked t o conf i rm i ts
presence.
Our f i ngers moved al ong wi th the coi n to
answer YES. Many were skepti cal about the
reason f or such a moti on of the coi n. Al l beli eved
K.O.T.A 143

that I was the external f orce produci ng agent. But
I coul d never prove that i t wasnt me.
Then we asked a seri es of questi ons regardi ng
past and f uture. Saahi l was l aughi ng duri ng the
enti re processi on. Fi nal l y we requested the soul to
go back. As soon as the soul l ef t the board, t he
l i ghts went of f . Everyone was scared because of
the back to back ti mi ng of t hose i nci dents. Even
worse was i n store.
A call on our l andl i ne phone.
I ts an STD call . The ri ngtone suggests that,
Saahi l sai d.
H el l o! I pi cked up the cal l . There was no
answer f rom the other end. I t was scary. I passed
the recei ver t o Preet. I t was a bl ank call that made
our expressi ons become bl ank. The recei ver was
put back to i ts i ni ti al state. Another cal l on i t,
agai n no answer.
A total of 17 cal ls came that ni ght. Al l
consecuti ve, al l STD and all blank, j ust af ter that
Pl anchette event. We had no answer to that
Par anor mal A cti vi t y.
Who woul d cal l 17 ti mes on an STD number
and l eave i t bl ank f or such a l ong ti me? Preet was
sti l l cluel ess.
My bi rthday i s on 17
th
October. H as i t got
somethi ng t o do wi th i t? Johny was then scared.
I t was sti ll a bl ack out. Usuall y l ights di dnt go of f
i n K ota, especi al l y at that hour of t he day.
Everythi ng was happeni ng f or the f i rst ti me.
Johny ran away i n f ear. When el ectri ci ty came
back we f el t rel axed. Af ter that horri f yi ng
experi ence we had somet hi ng to cheer about- t he
N ew Year Party by Gurukul .

50
M I SS GURUKUL

Preet, Saahi l , N ikhil , Plumbum, Johny, Begi ,
N i l esh and I were al l set. Landl ord was the most
scared creature on the pl anet to watch us march.
Some exam? he asked i n suspi ci on.
N ew year party, I said wi th a smi l e. And then
we sl i pped away f rom hi s gri p.
We had al l ki nds of f ri ends i ncl udi ng
shopkeepers, Pohawal as, ni ghtwatchman, auto
dri vers, Gundey etc who made our l i f e easy and
smoot h. We usuall y hi red Sal i m Bhai s auto and
were agai n i n i t that day.
D i d you rent t he camera f rom N eetu Phot o
Studi o? I asked Plumbum.
Yes! he answered. What about the rol l s?
I have i t. Whos goi ng to take the ri sk of
taki ng the pi ctures of Smi ta? I asked.
One hand got raised. I t was of N il esh.
Actual l y, I coul d have taken the pi ctures but I
dont want her to mi sunderstand me. I want them
by hook or by crook. H ow woul d I l ive wi thout
her i mage when she goes back to Lucknow?
Romeo, j ust pray t hat your Jul i et attends t he
f uncti on. Many students are appeari ng f or
FARJEE (another i nsti tute) mock test today,
Saahi l sai d, patti ng my back.
My si xth sense says she wil l def i ni tel y come, I
sai d conf i dentl y.
We reached K al yani Park, where the event was
bei ng organi zed. D Js were warmi ng up. As usual
the f ront rows were reserved f or VI Ps, teachers
K.O.T.A 145

and gi rl s. We were backbenchers agai n. There I
met Arpi t. I met hi m af ter a l ong ti me as I had no
i ntenti ons of di sturbi ng hi m. I thought my si xth
sense f ai l ed that ti me but pati ence always pays.
H ere she comes! N i khil excl ai med.
Smi ta heral ded the f uncti on, as i f she was the
chi ef guest. The event was well organi zed. For the
f i rst ti me I saw those teachers si ngi ng and
danci ng, who used to be stri ct and scary. Then
H ousi e began. Ti ckets were of 10 Rupees each. I
never won any pri ze i n that game. That day Smi ta
won the most unl ucky coupon award. I t was then
the perf ect ti me f or N i l esh to take her pi ctures
whi l e she was recei vi ng the award f rom Tayal Si r.
Some ski ts made us laugh and smi l e. Fi nal l y, i t
was ti me f or l unch. By then the pri ze ceremony
started. A l ong Q at t he f ood stal l pestered me. I
was then busy, eati ng. I saw a dog waggi ng i ts tai l .
I gave i t some pi eces of Paneer (cottage cheese)
f rom my pl ate.
Sudhanshu Asrani bagged the best mal e
student perf ormer and N i bha Gupta the best
f emal e counterpart. I t was then the ti me to decl are
Mi ss Gurukul .
Smi ta Madaan, Tayal Si r announced.
I kept my pl ate down and started cl appi ng.
You are always Miss Gurukuli te f or me, I
sai d.
As I bent down to take my plate back, i t was
nowhere to be seen. G one i n 60 seconds! My eyes
stared at that dog i n suspi ci on. I t was stil l waggi ng
i ts tai l to def end i tsel f of al l charges.
N o! N ot agai n i n t hat l ong Q!

I had no other choi ce as I was very hungry.
The event ended successf ul l y. We took some
group photos when I saw Smi ta standi ng al one. I
walked toward her.
Congratul ati ons Smi ta! I sai d. She l ooked at
me as i f she never knew me. Many sai d she
devel oped much atti tude that day. I thought i t
better to l eave then. I soon got her phot o
devel oped and kept i t i n my wal l et. That phot o
was just the begi nni ng. I was to get much more i n
comi ng days.
K.O.T.A 147

51
T H E SOCI AL N ET WORK

7
th
COL-Y ou spy t he smal l est det ai l s about your cr ush.
I was desperate to know her bi rthdate and so I
vi si ted Gurukul s websi te. I knew her Gurukul rol l
number and her f athers name al ready. One more
thi ng was needed to be entered t o access her
resul ts- her bi rthdate. I had an i ntui ti on that she
was a Gemi ni an and I entered dates cl ose to my
bi rthdate.
May 29- N o record f ound.
May 22- Mi ssi on accompl i shed. H er exam
resul ts got displ ayed. That was her bi rth date.
T wo days later
I was chatti ng on Yahoo messenger when
somebody pi nged. H e was Ravi , the one who ran
behi nd me yel l i ng H APPY BI RTH D AY.
H i Ravi ! N i c 2 c u on Yahoo, I wrote i n a
f l ash.
Congos! Ur gal wn 2 awrds. D o u knw her
Yahoo i d? he sai d, as if he was mai ntai ni ng the
database of Yahoo i ds.
N o! D o u hav i t?
Cpy i t. Smi ta_07@yahoo.com, he wrote t o
quench my thi rst of getti ng i t.
Bt hw di d u gt i t?

She ws chatti n @ BN B, he wrote. My f rndz
too wr thr 4 sum f otocpy wrk. They stel thl y saw
her i d f rm d bck. U knw we luv hunti n i nf o of gal s
n spreadi ng i t.
Thnk u. I wld nvr f rgt ur f avr.
Thnks wont do. I need a tr8. Wen n whr shl d
I cum?
U hav 2 deci de. I ts ur tr8, I sai d i n a true
gentl eman spi ri t.
K ! Wheatos, 6 P.M. 2mrw.
N t Wheatos. Annpurna Rstrnt.
K . I l l b thr. Ci ao.
K . Bi e. C ya, I ended the chat.
A week later
I got some usef ul i nf o f or you, Ani sh sai d
whi l e I was stil l i mmersed i n my APQs. K eep t hi s
page. I t has the phone number and the address.
Whom does these bel ong to? I i nqui red.
Smi ta. D ont you know her?
What? H ow? When? I asked, jumpi ng f rom
my chai r. Sudden surpri ses are mothers of many
questi ons.
Actual l y I had a contact i nsi de the data
management department of Gurukul . H e knew
me wel l as he i s my f amil y f ri end. I di scussed your
case wi th hi m and he was ready to hel p f or the
sake of your l ove, he sai d.
I don t have words to t hank you, I sai d and
hugged hi m.
I ts ti me to l eave, he announced.
T wo days later
Look Akash! An awesome thi ng i s wai ti ng f or
you, Johnys words compel l ed me to open t he
door.
K.O.T.A 149

What? Somethi ng t o eat? I asked, as I was
hungry.
Rol l number of Smi ta, he said.
What? I thought but how? I was f i ndi ng i t
hard to express mysel f .
N ote i t down. You can keep a track of her, he
sai d, cl eari ng his throat.
D i d any of her f ri ends reveal thi s number t o
you? I i nqui red.
Actual l y I met our sexy class teacher to cl ear
some doubt. Suddenl y, i t came to my mi nd that I
shoul d take Smi tas rol l number as i t might be of
some hel p to you. So I requested her f or hel p. I
sai d that she was my strongest competi tor and so I
wi shed to know her scores. And f or t hat, a rol l
number i s a must, he sai d. I ni tiall y she resi sted
but when I i nsi sted, she acqui esced. She was
actuall y i mpressed by my chocol aty f ace.
I m so proud to have sel f l ess f ri ends l ike you,
I said.
Anythi ng f or a f ri end l ike you, he sai d and
smi l ed.
I never f orced my f ri ends but they got al l that
i nf o f or l ove to prosper.

52
FI N ALLY A POE T
Wow! Thats great. Ani sh was at an exci ted
l evel whil e I was sti ll on the ground l evel . I m sure
you are goi ng to do somethi ng f i l my on thi s
occasi on too.
I m thi nki ng of some unconventi onal way to
wi sh her a Happy Bi rthday, I sai d.
I took out a bl ank A4 sheet and started
penni ng down a poem. I ts a f act that i f you have
a certai n f eeli ng creepi ng i nsi de your heart then i t
catal yzes your reacti on to wri te better and f ast.
Smi tas bi rthday was two months away. But I
got an i ntui ti on that she woul d be l eavi ng f or her
nati ve pl ace af ter givi ng her 12
th
board exams. I t
was a combo package f or me- her bi rthday, 12
th

board exams and H ol i . One card was enough to
do away wi th al l three.
Mr. Poet. Catch you l ater. I am sure that gi rl s
l ike poems dedi cated to them.
Ani sh was ri ght. General l y gi rls wi sh to have
one f rom someone. Assumi ng Smi ta to f al l under
that general case, I l aunched my i magi nati on to
f rame my f i rst poem.
A few hours later
Are you done wi th your poem?
Ani sh was so desperate that he read i t al oud i n
exci tement.
I t comes i n a year on one speci al day,
W hen cak es get r eady wi t h candl es t o pl ay.
A n oppor tuni t y t o ask i n a cunni ng way,
W hat s your age M i ss, by t he way?

K.O.T.A 151

T hi s poem i s j ust an ex cuse t o say,
M any many happy r etur ns of t he day.
I fol d my hands befor e G od t o pr ay,
T o gi ve you a l ong li fe for study and play.

T hen comes anot her day t o pl ay,
W i t h col or s and var ni shes on di spl ay.
Sweet s and N amk eens fi l l t he t r ay,
H ol i H ai i s al l I wanna say.

F i nal l y comes t he dr eaded ex am,
12
th
boar d i t s name, A ar am i s now H ar aam.
A l l t he best t o you, I pr ay t o l or d Ram,
T hat you wor k wonder s by your char m.
That was my f i rst poem. I got ready to post i t
to her address.
You l ook handsome today. You shoul d deliver
her the card i n person, Ani sh suggested.
I was i n no way goi ng to that gi rls hostel . I
pl aced the card i n an envel ope and seal ed i t wi th
my l ove. Ani sh showed hi s thumbs up to wi sh me
best of l uck. I got the card couri ered to her
address. I was to get a recei pt sl i p, whi ch
conf i rmed that she recei ved the card.
A week later
I got the recei pt. I f ound her si gnature on i t.
H er turbi d si gnature conf i rmed t hat i t was her
handwri ti ng and more i mportantl y, t hat she
recei ved the card. I coul dnt see her expressi ons
though. Assumi ng that Smi ta was one of those
gi rl s who l oved poeti c boys, I thought she woul d
have f el t ni ce.
Love made me a poet that I never was. I t soon
made me do somethi ng that I never di d bef ore.

53
M AH ASH I VRAT RI

Accordi ng to Wiki pedia-
M ahaShivratri or M ahaSivaratri (Great N i ght of
Shi va) is the f esti val cel ebrati ng the marri age of
Lord Shi va and Goddess Parvati that i nf uses the
spi ri t of devoti on and dedi cati on among H i ndus.
I ts pri nci pal l y cel ebrated by of f eri ngs
of Bael (Bi lva) l eaves to Lord Shi va, all day f asti ng
and an all night l ong vigil .
A day before M ahashivratri
D o you know about l ove percent? Preet
asked.
I was solvi ng Math BTH , si tti ng on my study
chai r. My study tabl e had to bear the weight of
many sumo books l i ke A D as Gupta, R.C. Sharma
and my f ai r regi ster. I kept pi ctures of Smi ta as
bookmarks i n them. Preet was si tti ng on my bed.
Yeah! That si ll y game, whi ch usuall y gi rl s pl ay,
I repl i ed.
D o you know about your l ove percent wi th
Smi ta? Preet i nqui red.
I dont bel i eve i n i t.
Lets try i t out. Just f or f un, Preet proposed.
H e borrowed my pen and al so my ti me to
numeri cal l y solve my l ove coef f i ci ent wi th respect
to Smi ta. H e t ore one paper f rom my f ai r regi ster
bef ore I coul d expl ai n hi m that i t was not meant
f or scri bbl i ng. I thought he took a f ai r page to
obtai n f ai r resul ts. H e took al l detai ls f rom me and
started cal cul ati ng.
AK ASH + SMI TA
K.O.T.A 153

The resul ts were out.
83%. N ot bad. Then he wi nked and started
cal cul ati ng-
SH I VA+ PARVATI
Engl i sh makes RAM-RAMA, K RI SH N -
K RI SH N A and SH I V-SH I VA. So I di d doubt
such name games.
Agai n 83%. H e congratulated me.
D o you know tomorrow i s Shi vratri? Preet
asked.
I shrugged. Gurukul had no hol i day the next
day.
I ts bel i eved that i f you keep a f ast on Shi vratri
you get a ni ce partner, Preet sai d.
Shoul d I keep a f ast f or Smi ta? I asked.
I ts upon your wi l l . I m goi ng to keep a f ast as
I can have one l i ter of mi l k and pl enty of f rui ts. I
end up eati ng more than usual .
I t woul d be a ni ce i dea to keep a f ast f or her
l ong l i f e and success, just because I l ove her so
much, I sai d wi th a gli tter i n my eyes.
D one! Theres good news, onl y one cl ass
tomorrow due to Shi vratri , Preet sai d.
We soon f ound that Saahi l and N i khi l were
al so keepi ng a f ast.
*
M arch 8, 2005
M ahashivratri
We al l had an earl y morni ng cl ass. Whi l e returni ng
back we hal ted at a f rui t center and bought appl es
at Rs 35/ kg i n D esi haggl er styl e. When we were
about to l eave, two hot gi rl s arrived on a Scooty.
They were novi ce i n bargai ni ng and were el ated to

get appl es at Rs 45/ kg. We were then conf i rmed
of the practi cal i ty of Gi rl s equati on.
Bcouty A:oilobility
1
BRAIN

We came back wi th l ots of f rui ts and mi lk. But
si nce Smi ta was there i n my mi nd f rame, I wanted
to make i t a real f ast. For t he whol e day I was on
one gl ass of mi lk and an appl e.
5
th
COL- I t s spi ri tual and much mor e t han l ust .
Ratri (night) of Shivratri
I took out my wal l et to have a qui ck glance at
Smi tas pi cture. I kept i t bel ow my pi l l ow and
went f or a short nap.
K.O.T.A 155

54
SH E S GOT T H E LOOK

E arly morning class
I l oathed getti ng up so earl y i n the morni ng. I
rushed to the cl assroom. Sl eep depri ved, my eyes
resi sted brai ns order to remai n open. But a ri de
on my bi cycl e to Gurukul demanded more f rom
the rebel eyes. Fi nall y my eyes were hal f open as
they bargai ned sl eep f rom my brai n. I was l ooki ng
l ike a Chi nese tourist wi th my bag and my l ooks. I
reached Gurukul to f i nd i t empty.
What the I was about to compl ete i t when
a f ami li ar voi ce i nterrupted me.
Akash, f ol l ow me, Saahi l commanded.
I s everythi ng f i ne? I asked.
Actual l y Tayal Si r has organi zed a surpri se
party today.
Seri ousl y? I was elated.
Just dont ask why, Saahil sai d.
I had no other choi ce save to f ol l ow hi m. We
hi red an auto and went strai ght to Chambal
garden. There I f ound many f ami l i ar f aces
i ncl udi ng my own batchmates.
I l l j oi n you later, Saahil sai d and departed.
Akash, I have a seat reserved f or you, Preet
of f ered.
Thanks! I sai d. Whats goi ng on?
A photo sessi on.
What f or?
To store t he memori es of Gurukul i n the hard
di sk of our li f e, he explai ned.
I m so happy, I sai d.

For what?
Anot her pi cture of Smi ta. Yes! God, pl ease
make her si t cl ose to me, I prayed.
There was an audi i n whi ch the photo sessi on
was bei ng conducted and the students were not
seated batchwi se (f or a change), whi ch I f el t ni ce.
The photographer was abl e to see one and al l . I t
was qui te doubtf ul that he woul d be abl e to
capture all i n one pi cture.
Saahi l j oi ned us f or the photo sessi on.
Am I l ooki ng ni ce? I asked, runni ng my
f i ngers through my hai rs.
Awesome and gorgeous, Saahil repl i ed.
Look! I excl ai med, here she comes.
I n strawberry pi nk Sal war K urta, she l ooked
l ike a perf ect angel , just the magi c wand mi ssi ng
f rom her f ai ry atti re. But the magi c she created
upon me made her a real angel . I t requi red no
wand to make such magi cal bond. She was
accompani ed by her batchmates. I was admi ri ng
her beauty and then her eyes were di rected ri ght
upon me.
Shi t ! W hat woul d she be t hi nk i ng of me? A m I j ust
l i k e t hose boys who do eves t ease?
My eyes were down wi th f ear.
But why shoul d I fear ? I s i t wr ong t o admi r e beauti ful
gi r l s?
Fi nall y when I dared to rai se my eyes, I saw
Smi ta si tti ng right i n f ront of my seat wi th her
l ong hai rs kept open as an i con of f reedom. Just
then the breeze made her hai r f al l sli ghtl y on my
f ace and the Sunsil k attar of her hai r was anodyne.
Al arm rang at 7 A.M. I coul dnt bel i eve i t! I
was on my bed i n the swi mmi ng pool of books.
K.O.T.A 157

N o phot o sessi on? God was a real ki ll j oy, so was
the al arm. Af ter a f ull day on f ast, l i f e became
sl ow f or me and not f ast, due to l ack of energy.

55
SLUM D OG M I LLI ON AI RE

A research cl ai ms that our dreams are bl ack
and whi te. But Smi tas Salwar K urta was
strawberry pi nk. I saw i t. Love real l y makes
anythi ng possi bl e/ col orf ul .
N ight
Tayal Si r al ways advocated that one must have
a sound sl eep and a good breakf ast bef ore
attendi ng morni ng cl asses. But I di d just the
reverse. I f ell on my bed f or another nap. I t was
al ready 4 A.M. Ti me when many Gurukul i tes
woke up. Ti me when many more l i ke me sl ept.
I was agai n i n my dream worl d. My cl asses
agai n got postponed and I was i n the audi of
Chambal garden. There were two sets of students-
L batch, occupyi ng the f ront seats and M batch,
si tti ng at the back of the audi . There were a f ew
pi l lars i n between, basi call y f or decorati on
purpose.
N o N batch student was seen except one. I
was hunti ng f or my batchmates and i gnorantl y
entered t he audi . I was a Troj an f or the set up as I
entered f rom t he back door. And then I saw her.
Smi ta was clad i n a green Salwar K urta that
remi nded me of that G i r l I n G r een. She was a
cheese and I was a hungry mouse. She was si tti ng
two rows f rom the back and I was hi di ng behi nd
one of the pi l l ars.
What are you doi ng here? K eeda asked.
D i dnt you see the board outsi de?
N o! Whats wri tten on i t? I ventured.
K.O.T.A 159

D ogs and N batch students are not al l owed,
he sai d wi th a bi g smil e.
Appl ause! The whol e hal l was cl appi ng as i f
K eeda rai sed a sl ogan of nati onal i mportance.
Whats goi ng on? I i nqui red.
A qui z competi ti on i s bei ng hel d f or L and M
batch students. N o N batch student i s permi tted
to pl ay the game. They are asked to prepare f or
the exams. So I thi nk you better l eave.
I t was a warni ng f rom K eeda. But how coul d I
l eave an opportuni ty to see Smi ta? I was behi nd
the pi l l ars, out of the f i el d of vi ew of Tayal Si r. H e
was the quiz master. H e was aski ng hi gh l evel GK
questi ons but sti l l there were many students wi th
answers f or them.
I was gazi ng at Smi ta and at one si ll y moment,
I opened my arms and wal ked straight toward my
cheese i .e. Smi ta. And then I was i n hi s f i el d of
vi ew.
Whos standi ng besi de that pi l lar? Whats your
batch? Tayal Si r yel l ed.
I was stil l thi nki ng i t to be a quiz questi on.
Si r, hes of N batch, K eeda shouted f rom hi s
seat.
I woul d have kil l ed K eeda just li ke an i nsect.
But every dog has i ts day and that day, i t was my
turn.
I nteresti ng! H ows your GK ? Tayal Si r
taunted.
Smi ta was then l ooki ng at me. I t was a matter
of presti ge and so I said somethi ng I was not
supposed to.
Si r, I do suck at my Gurukul exams but that
doesnt mean I dont have a good GK . You must

not di scri mi nate between N batches and other
batches. We can prove you wrong.
So l et me ask you a very easy GK questi on.
H ow many students are there i n N batches? You
woul d be wel l aware of i t.
I then real i zed that GK was al ways
mi si nterpreted as General K nowl edge. I t never
was general .
Accordi ng to my cal cul ati on i ts 660.
Are you sure?
I m conf i dent. I was tryi ng to i mpress Smi ta.
I expel some students and f ew l eave Gurukul
on thei r own accord. So I guess you are wrong.
The answer can be 660 10.
I sucked at Math and that was a proof of i t.
Smi ta was sti ll l ooki ng at me. A f ew securi ty
guards came to throw me out li ke a dog. I was
throwi ng my hands and l egs i n resentment.
And then I f ound mysel f struggl i ng on my bed.
I t was a nightmare and agai n I wasnt abl e to
i mpress Smi ta, my D ream Gi rl .

K.O.T.A 161

56
D RE AM GI RL

Anot her combi ned cl ass.
I t hought i t was the l ast opportuni ty t o
i mpress her. I had a good sense of humor that
coul d have acted as a weapon to ki ll her sil ence
toward my l ove. I started cracki ng j okes whi l e
si tti ng near G spot.
Akash, you are so f unny, gi rl s compl emented.
But she di dnt l augh at al l . She knew I was
tryi ng to i mpress her.
Femal e of every speci es is more dangerous.
Take the case of Anophel es mosqui to. I t can gi f t
you wi th Mal ari a. I t was my l ast f i re.
And i t hi t the target. Smi ta smi l ed. Soon her
smi l e converted i nto laughter.
I made you laugh. Can we be f ri ends now? I
sai d i mmediatel y.
Smi ta rai sed her brows. She was about to say
somethi ng.
Coul d you pl ease do me a f avor? I asked.
What can I do f or you? she asked.
I wi sh to say somethi ng t hats stored i n my
heart si nce a l ong ti me.
Say i t, she whispered.
I t was getti ng romanti c. All gi rls hel d thei r
breath.
I s i t goi ng to be an I LOVE YOU? they kept
wonderi ng.
Can you come wi th me? I asked.

Where?
To my room?
For?
For pl ayi ng cards
Al l gi rl s i ncludi ng Smi ta woul d have def i ni tel y
cursed me f or bei ng a ki ll j oy af ter creati ng such a
romanti c atmosphere. Some habi ts of your f ri ends
can have i ll ef f ects upon your dreams li ke the card
pl ayi ng activi ty of Saahi l and gang. Smi ta burst
i nto l aughter. She nodded.
A few hours later, in my room
Saahi l , Preet, Pl umbum, N i khil , Johny, N i l esh
and I sat i n a row. Our gi rl f ri ends were si tti ng
f aci ng us.
Smi ta was l ooki ng sweet and beauti f ul . She
al ways wore a heart kil li ng smi l e on her
countenance. Mal i ni was si tti ng i n f ront of N i khi l .
We were pl ayi ng f l ush card game and
Al arm broke my sl eep agai n. But that ti me I
was happy. I ran i mmedi atel y to N i khil s room to
narrate the hat tri ck dream. I tol d about Mal i ni .
H ow di d she l ook? he asked.
I dont remember exactl y, I repl i ed. Saahi l
agai n wore his pecul iar gri n on heari ng about i t.
N ow you have started dreami ng about our
gi rl f ri ends too? Bad manners! Bhabhi maa k e
samaan hoti hai (Sister i n law i s li ke your mom),
Saahi l preached.
I smi l ed and went back to my room to resume
my pendi ng work. But those dreams compel l ed
me to si ng-
Kahi n t o mi l egi , Kabhi t o mi l egi ,
A aj nahi n t o k al ...D r eamGi r l
(Someti me, somewhere, I l l get my dreamgi rl .)
K.O.T.A 163

57
M AT RI M ON Y CLASS

H el l o everyone! My name i s Anj al i Verma.
Anj al i maam coached Gurukuli tes i n Engl ish.
There was a coachi ng f or everythi ng, even f or the
practi cal exams of board exams. Board exam
coachi ng was usuall y an excuse to be i n touch wi th
a subj ect especi all y f or those who never t ook any
ef f ort to study on thei r own.
We are here to l earn Engl i sh f or 12
th
board
exams, she conti nued.
She was i n her mi d thi rti es. She was round but
cute. She had much make up done. She had a
strong af f i li ati on wi th Gurukul . H er promos hi t
every noti ce board of Gurukul . She had a hypnoti c
ef f ect and so excepti onal students f i ll ed the class.
But I was an excepti onal case. I was a bel ow
average Gurukul i te wi th an above average Engl ish
there.
The onl y bad thi ng f or boys there was the
absence of gi rl s, creati ng a gayish atmosphere.
So today wel l l earn about adverti sement
wri ti ng. Marketi ng of a thi ng i nvol ves advertisi ng
i t i n a way that even dung can be sol d at the pri ce
of gol d.
A mobi l e phone rang to i ts max, i nterrupti ng
the f ree f l ow of the cl ass. All eyes were transf i xed
at the owner of that phone, who was cursi ng i t f or
ri ngi ng at the wrong place and at the wrong ti me.
Gi rl f ri end? Af ter the cl ass gets over, you can
meet her. But f or now, concent rate here, she sai d.
I t was f rom my mom! he whi spered.

H ey guys! I know you mi ss gi rl s here. But
what can I do? Be pati ent. You can meet them
l ater, she sai d.
She was too f rank wi th us. She gave us a wei rd
homework that day. We were asked to wri te
matri moni al proposal s consi deri ng oursel ves to be
bri degrooms. Saahi l was exci ted to draf t a
proposal , as i f he was wai ti ng f or days f or that
homework. I had onl y one gi rl goi ng on i n my
mi nd.
N ext day
We were asked to bl urt out our proposal s i n
f ront of t he whol e cl ass. Many were shy, sti l l they
gave i t a try. I t was then my turn.
Maam, i ts a wei rd proposal . H ope I wont
di sappoi nt you.
F or a ner d who s l ook i ng for an ear l y bi r d. A 5 feet 3
i nch t al l , beaut i ful gi r l r equi r ed. L uck now gi r l s pr efer r ed.
Shoul d be homel y t hat wont mak e one feel l onel y. Shoul d
be a G ur uk uli t e and must be ver y br i ght . Shoul d wear
specs. H er name must begi n wi t h S and end wi t h A . Cast e
no bar . A ge 17 year s. Shoul d be a G emi ni an made for
anot her G emi ni an.
Everyone had a l augh as i t was too speci f i c.
I thi nk you wrote the proposal f or someone
you know qui te wel l , Madam wi nked.
Then came Saahi l s turn. H e started wi th the
f ol l owi ng words-
F or a guy who s not shy t o mak e a t i e wi t h some gi r l
hi -fi . A t al l , beauti ful and i nt el l i gent chi ck r equi r ed.
Shoul d k now how t o t ur n on a guy. Shoul d be good at bed.
Cast e no bar , age no bar , col or no bar , nati onali t y no bar ,
ex husbands no bar .
K.O.T.A 165

The whol e cl ass was l aughi ng l ike never
bef ore. Madam was stunned.
Are you seri ous? she asked.
Yes, I t hi nk proposal s must be strai ght
f orward. Saahi l f el t pri de over his work.
When we came back to our rooms we had a
l i ght chat.
So your proposal was f or Smi ta? I thi nk you
must f orward a copy of i t to her, Saahil suggested.
I m not sure of her reacti on over my proposal .
But I m sure she wi ll be dumb af ter readi ng yours.
Our Engli sh class has got a ni ckname now, he
sai d.
And whats that?
Matri mony cl ass.
Anj al i maam brought col or i nto our bl ack and
whi te schedul e and more col or was yet to come.

58
H OLI H AI !

M arch 25, 2005
A knock at my door made me shun the
comf ort of my f luf f y bed.
H appy H ol i Akash! Lets go to N i l eshs room.
Make i t f ast, Johny sai d.
H appy H ol i ! Whats the program? I asked.
Lets pi ck up N i l esh f rom hi s room and then
pl ay H oli wi th f acul ty members, he proposed.
Sounds great! Just wai t f or a f ew seconds. I l l
be ri ght back, I sai d.
The same message was passed to N ikhi l , Saahi l
and Preet.
H ol i i s a f esti val of col ors that demands you to
be dressed i n a di shevel ed state. On our way we
met some young chaps who greeted us a H appy
H ol i . They then asked us a strange f avor.
Can we tear your shi rt? Pl ease!
We understood thei r i ntenti ons and paced up
but unf ortunatel y, t he end of my T-shi rt got
caught i nto the hands of t he young mob and
Chi rr. I t was converted i nto a two pi ece. Onl y i ts
part coveri ng my shoul ders was j oi ned. I t gave me
a l ook of a superhero as the back of my T-shi rt
was converted i nto a robe.
Soon we were at N i l eshs where we pl ayed dry
H ol i . Onl y a f racti on of my f ace was not col ored,
whi ch f orced Preet t o announce-H ey! You are
sti l l cl ear. Let me spoi l your f ace.
I di dnt l i ke the i dea. But I took out my specs
and humbl y surrendered by pl aci ng my f ace
K.O.T.A 167

f orward and cl osi ng my eyes. And then many
hands f ul l of col or competed to spoi l my f ace t o
the max. Competi ti on everywhere!
Our group was l ed by Johny. Fi rst we went to
Gurukul and pl ayed H oli wi th al l our gurus
(teachers). We al so touched thei r f eet t o get thei r
bl essi ngs f or I I T-JEE. Then we headed toward a
qui te f ami li ar pl ace as i t l ooked to me. I t was
Smi tas hostel .
Come out gi rl s. I f you have guts then l ets pl ay
H ol i , Saahil screamed.
Some gi rl s came out, Smi ta bei ng one of them.
And soon many water f i ll ed ball oons were f i red
upon t hem. One of t hem hi t Smi ta and she
screamed.
Run! I excl ai med.
That word was f or me but the whol e group
started runni ng. The gi rl s were shouti ng. What
el se coul d they have done?
Bur a N a M ano, H ol i hai ! (D on t f eel bad. I ts
H ol i !)
We hal ted at AGs house. There we met hi s
chi l d, about three years ol d.
Whats N ewtons f i rst l aw, baby? Johny asked.
We all smi l ed. The baby too smi l ed, as i f he
knew the answer.
Af ter Physi cs H ol i , we pl anned t o at tack SP.
When we entered hi s house, there was a pi n drop
si l ence.
N o ones there. Lets go back, Pl umbum sai d.
We were about to l eave when Johny shouted-
H es here, steal thil y l ooki ng at us.
We all ran to attack hi m wi th col ors. H e l ocked
hi msel f i nsi de.

Promi se me that you wont pl ay wet H ol i , he
demanded.
We promi se you, Si r. Just come out, pl ease,
we al l sai d i n uni son.
H e came out and one by one, we al l col ored
hi s f ace wi th G ul aal (dry col or). We took some
pi ctures wi th hi m and then we bi d hi m good bye.
We then saw a group of bi kers comi ng toward us.
Lets hi t them wi th water f i ll ed bal l oons,
N i l esh proposed.
I was about to stop hi m when he l et l oose a
bal l oon on one of the bi kes. Four hal e youngsters
were si tti ng on that bi ke. The bal l oon hi t the thi rd
person f rom the f ront and he got di sbalanced. The
center of gravi ty of the bi ke system shi f ted and
then-
H usha, Busha, t hey al l fal l down.
N i l esh started spri nti ng to save hi s ass. They
got up and showed thei r mi ddl e f i ngers to hi m.
Thats the best thi ng about H ol i . N obody f i ghts
on thi s day.
Fi nall y we headed back to 1-PA-90. Saahi l ,
N i khi l and I hugged each other to f orget al l past
spats. Bef ore l eavi ng, N il esh hugged me to greet
and then- Chi rr. H e t ore my T-shi rt f ul l y i nto two
pi eces. I was about to protest when N i l esh
shouted-
Bur a N a M ano, H ol i hai !
Pl ayi ng H ol i was f un. But a torture soon came
to end i t al l .

K.O.T.A 169

59
PH YSI CAL E D UCAT I ON

PE.
N ot Potenti al Energy, but Physi cal Educati on-
an opti onal subj ect f or Bi ol ogy and H i ndi i n our
CBSE curri cul um.
I was at Lodhi Publ i c School to pi ck up my
admi t card f or 12
th
board exams. Two young gi rl s,
who were supposedl y my teachers, were
di stri buti ng those admi t cards. One of them
attended me.
Can you tel l me your Rol l number pl ease? she
asked and then she smi l ed. The beauty i ndex of
gi rl s general l y rises whil e smil i ng. I uttered my rol l
number and got my admi t card through her
del i cate hands.
Al l the best! t he other beauti f ul l ass wished. A
warm smi l e f oll owed that sentence. I was sure that
she was paid f or that one sentence and f or that
one ki ll er smil e.
I strol l ed toward the noti ce board. There I
f ound that Physi cal Educati on Practi cal exam was
on the very next day. I caref ull y noted down al l
other dates as wel l and returned to my room.
Physi cal Educati on Practi cal ? Preet asked. H e
was stil l unaware of the exam dates.
N o t ensi on. Practi cal s dont requi re a warm
up, Saahi l sai d i n a relaxed mood.
But we shoul d study at l east somethi ng to f ace
the vi va bul l ets, I suggested.

D on t worry. I f they ask you about your
f avori te sport j ust yel l Cri cket. Af ter all we are
cri cket f reaks, right?
That suggesti on f rom Saahi l boosted me up t o
f ace the exam even wi thout studyi ng a si ngl e
word.
Physical E ducation Practical E xam, 2005
N i l esh and I were al l set f or a 100 meters
spri nt. I never knew he was i n my school ti l l that
day.
On your marks, get set, Go!
That G o remi nded me of Counter Stri ke game.
G o, G o, G o
I was the f astest horse on the track ti l l 80
meters mark.
Last 20 meters. A boy ran i n a moti on si mi l ar
to a f ree styl e swi mmi ng and f l ui d dynami cs
supported hi m to get past me. Everythi ng was
over. I f i nished second.
Then we competed i n many more games l i ke
shot put, di sc throw, l ong jump etc. The f i nal
event was a f if teen mi nute race i n whi ch t he max
number of rounds compl eted i n f i f teen mi nutes
was the wi nni ng cri teri a.
I must wi n i t f or Smi ta i f I real l y l ove her, I
chal l enged mysel f .
The bl owi ng of a whi stl e heral ded the dawn of
my dream run. To f i ght f ati gue I i magi ned vi rtual
Smi ta, standi ng at the end of each l ap poi nt. She
l ooked even more beauti f ul . She kept her arms
wi de open to hug me. And then I ran l ike a l oony
to hug her. She t hen shi f ted to t he next l ap poi nt.
Beads of sweat danced all over my body t o
produce a ti ckl i ng ef f ect.
K.O.T.A 171

End of the race. I won both- race and my own
chal l enge. The di sease of l ove makes you f ight
wi th self . I t was then my turn f or the viva round.
Whi ch f amous batsmans catch di d Jonty
Rhodes take to wi n kudos as the greatest f i el der i n
Cri cket? a young teacher asked.
Sachi n Tendulkar, I repl i ed.
And whom di d he get run out i n 1992-93? he
qui zzed.
My guess was I nzamam-ul -H aq but I shook
my head t o convey hi m that I was not a Wi ki pedi a
page on Jonty Rhodes.
The exam got over. I brought home the f act
that Physi cal Educati on was both a physi cal and
mental torture. Cri cket wasnt goi ng to l eave me as
I soon di scovered i ts new f ormat.

60
I N D OOR CRI CKET
I ndoor cri cket! Preet proposed.
Lets pl ay, Saahi l sai d.
I ndoor cri cket- whose rul es were f ramed not
by I CC (I nternati onal Cri cket Counci l ) but by
common peopl e l i ke us. The best part of i t was
one ti p one hand out. I f a f i el der catches the bal l
af ter one bounce si ngl e handedl y i ts decl ared out.
Johny, Pl umbum and N i l esh too j oi ned t o
show thei r met tl e. Saahi l used to be t he best
batsman amongst us al l . The onl y way to di smi ss
hi m was by l uck or when he i ntended t o. I used to
be the best f i el der and was very much i nspi red by
Jonty Rhodes. I al ways di ved to make my f i eldi ng
or catches l ook spectacul ar.
The f unni est part of the game was the ent ry of
the l andl ord when everyone di sappeared. I ndoor
cri cket then transf ormed i nto H i de and Seek .
Bathroom was the best hi di ng pl ace. Some even
opened the tap i n i t to get i nt o t he character. And
then he used to attack sof t targets li ke me and SB.
That day we pl ayed f or l ong, yet no signs of
l andl ord were traced. I bowl ed to N i l esh and he
swi nged hi s bat wi th max power. My bowl was too
f ast and that shot f rom N i l esh gave i t even more
momentum. And t hen a bl ast. The bal l di rectl y hi t
the ri ght eye of Preet. I t hi t l ike a bul l et and Preet
f el l down. Everythi ng took pl ace i n a f l ash. A
bl ack out occurred i n the powerhouse of Preets
eye. H e ran toward hi s room.
Shoul d we take you to a doctor? N i l esh asked,
showi ng concern.
K.O.T.A 173

N o! I ts okay! I woul d j oi n you guys l ater. You
guys carry on, Preet l ay on hi s bed wi th hi s ri ght
hand coveri ng hi s af f ected eye. Tears were comi ng
out f rom hi s eyes. I t f orced us to cancel our pl ans
to resume the match.
Wash your eyes wi th water, Saahil suggested.
N o! Take a handkerchi ef and pump ai r i nt o i t
f rom your mouth. Put i t on your eyes. You woul d
get some rel i ef , Johny advised.
N i l esh and I were si l ent. Someti mes pretty f un
turns i nto ugl y f ear. I was f eel i ng gui l ty of my
cri me. H e was j ust a chi l d, f ar away f rom hi s
parents. Soon our l andl ord arri ved on getti ng the
news of that unpl easant i nci dent.
I m taki ng hi m to the doctor, he sai d.
Somethi ng pushed me f rom i nsi de to j oi n hi m.
I am al so comi ng, I sai d.
Few minutes later
We were at an eye cl i ni c. Preet was contorti ng
i n pai n. H e was seri ousl y hurt. We were wai ti ng
f or the doct or to arri ve. I t was the wee hour of the
ni ght and so we were skepti cal f or hi s arri val . But
l ike a magnani mous gentl eman, D r. Vi nod
presented hi msel f as a present f or Preet.
D r. Saahab! H el p thi s ki d. H e got hi t on hi s
eye by a cri cket ball , our landl ord sai d.
Compounder, get a torch and some di sti l l ed
water, doctor commanded.
Compounder compounded the data i nto hi s
brai n box and acted accordi ngl y. I thought that
the onl y other i nterest that Compounder had was
Compound i nterest.
Preet was i n gri ef and so was I . I t was my f aul t
af ter all ; to bowl and give hi m a wound so f oul .

When compounder returned, D r. Vi nod asked
Preet to l i e on a stretcher kept i n the cl i ni c.
D oct or then poured the di sti l l ed water i nto hi s
eyes that made hi m dance awkwardl y.
Compounder cl amped hi s body ti ghtl y. H e was
cryi ng i n pai n and that mel ted my heart. I t was
then I real i zed the true meani ng of f ri endshi p. I
f el t hi s pai n. I cri ed wi th hi m, f rom my heart.
D oct or conducted some tests. Then he took
out a sl i p and started wi th an Rx. Just the l etter D
woul d have made i ts meani ng much more
expl osi ve- RD x. H e then gave a prescri pti on al ong
wi th the name of medi ci nes menti oned on that
sl i p.
Bl ood vessels near reti na have ruptured. H e
wont be abl e t o see cl earl y f or a week. H e
requi res speci al attenti on. Pl ease give hi m these
medi ci nes ti mel y.
Thank you Uncl e, Preet sai d i n a chil dish
tone.
Take care son, D r. Vi nod repl i ed.
We came back. I tol d everyone about D r.
Vi nods advi ce. We al l deci ded to admi t Preet i n
our I CU. Preet recovered not onl y by the
medi ci nes but al so by the l ove doses he got f rom
al l .
T wo days after Preets recovery
N i l esh took a bat i n hi s hands and t hrew t he
bal l toward me.
Ready f or another match?
I ref used his proposal to avoi d more acci dents.
But K ota wasnt abl e t o avoi d acci dents
commonl y known as Scandal s.

K.O.T.A 175

61
SCAN D ALS OF KOT A

Guys, do you know what happened t oday?
Preet sai d.
Pl umbum, Saahi l , N ikhi l and Johny were
accompanyi ng me i n my room.
What happened? I i nqui red, l eaf i ng through
H CV.
Four boys of Gurukul kill ed an ol d man who
was a taxi driver. They f i rst hi red hi s taxi . They
hal ted at a D haba and then, Preet sai d and then
paused to cl ear hi s throat. One of them hi t hi m
on hi s head, ki ll i ng hi m on the spot. They di d al l
thi s to sel l that taxi and get some bucks. One of
them was i nnocent. H e di dn t know about hi s
f ri ends moti ves. Pol i ce i s hunti ng f or them
desperatel y.
H ow can they do such a crap af ter bei ng
bri l l iant students of Gurukul ? I asked peevi shl y.
Gurukul cant peek i nto the personal l i f e of
each and every Gurukul i te. N obody knows whats
on your mi nd, Plumbum answered.
Every gol den book has some bl ack pages i n
i t, Saahi l sai d.
Remember what N i khi l s f ri ends di d? Preet
remi nded of another bi g scandal .
They stol e a whoopi ng 174 l i ters of petrol
f rom three pet rol pumps and then t ri ed to hack
ATM centers. I f that ni ght watchman Ramlal
woul dnt have got hol d of them, al l ATM centers
of K ota woul d have been empty, N i khi l
el aborated.

Al l this f or thei r stupi d gi rl f ri ends, Preet sai d.
Beware Akash! D ont get i nto any such
scandal f or Smi ta, Saahil warned.
You know me well , I def ended.
Anot her i nci dent t ook pl ace recentl y,
Pl umbum sai d, exci ti ng every one of us. A gi rl
was ri di ng her bi cycl e when two boys f ol l owed her
on a bi ke. There was a small gap between her hi ps
and the bi cycl e seat. The boy si tti ng at t he back
seat of the bi ke noti ced i t and f i ngered her
through that gap. The gi rl j umped out of her seat.
The boys ski pped f rom the si te passi ng vul gar
comments.
Two days back even worse i nci dent took
pl ace, Saahi l sai d, taki ng a deep breath. Two boys
on a mot orcycl e came near a gi rl . One of them
j umped down and did the unexpected.
What di d he do? I asked.
H e pressed her boobs and wi thi n seconds, he
was gone. H i s reacti on ti me was f aster than that of
the gi rl . When she screamed, he was nowhere t o
be seen, Saahil said.
These guys l ower the i mage of the whol e mal e
communi ty. They must be hanged f or ki ll i ng the
respect that gi rl s have f or boys. We are not l i ke
them, but are supposed to be one of them, I
grunted.
K ota has become unsaf e f or gi rl s now. But
sti l l , I suggest that tal ented gi rl s shoul d keep
comi ng. We are ready to f i ght f or t hei r cause,
Preet advocated.
I was worri ed about Smi ta. I woul d have kil l ed
that person who even tri ed to touch her.
2
nd
COL - Y ou become possessi ve about your cr ush.
K.O.T.A 177

Scandal s wont end as good resul ts too. And
we promi se Gurukul that wel l deli ver our best i n
the comi ng SCRE E N I N GS and Board exams to
mai ntai n i ts f ame, Saahil shouted.
H ail Gurukul ! we all yel l ed.

62
BOARD S-2005

Boards.
A term t hat overburdened the student
communi ty of the nati on and deci ded f ates of
many. There was a rumor i n Gurukul that an L-1
batch student cl eared I I T-JEE but f ai l ed i n
Engl i sh i n boards. So he l ost hi s el i gi bi li ty to
appear f or the counsel i ng that f ol l owed.
We were aware of such consequences. Onl y
those students who secured 80% or more i n
Physi cs, Chemi stry and Math i n boards were
el i gi bl e f or BI T S exam. BI T S i s another presti gi ous
i nsti tute known f or i ts academi c excel l ence. So we
were not i n a mood to take any chances.
Lakshya and I were both f rom Lodhi Publ i c
School and had same exam center f or boards,
whi ch was 16 kil ometers away. H e had a moped
and he drove me home many ti mes when my
bi cycl e used to get out of order. I requested hi m
to take me on hi s moped on exam days. H e was
very humbl e and was always there to pi ck me.
Once af ter a Gurukul test, I asked Lakshya to
f ol l ow a Scooty. I di dnt know the dri ver of t he
Scooty but I very wel l knew the one on the
backseat- Smi ta. I asked hi m to race hi s moped
and give a cut to that Scooty t o i nti mi date her. She
was my f oe then. I sti l l remember how I got that
memento out of Smi tas answr sheet of t hat same
test.
I t was then Math exam of boards. I di dnt
perf orm wel l . Students usuall y ai m f or a cent
K.O.T.A 179

percent score i n i t but my at tempt was of 80
marks. I was crestf all en. That was not the end t o
my mi sery.
We were not even three ki l ometers away f rom
the exam hal l back home when the ti res def lated.
I t not onl y l ed to t he wastage of ti me and money
but al so made us suf f er the heat st rokes of the sun
overhead.
When I reached my room, I had a l ook at
Smi tas pi cture. Tears came out of my eyes. But I
di dnt l et that f ai lure overpower my ambi ti on. I
gave the rest of my papers wi th f ul l vigor and
wrote wel l .
I t was an answer to al l those who thought
Smi ta to be the cause of my rui n. I nspi rati on can
never put you down. But the real test was yet to
come to chal l enge i t.


63
SCRE EN I N GS-2005

Af ter two years of i ntense preparati on i n t he
best coachi ng center of I ndi a f or I I T-JEE, i t was
ti me to perf orm.
SCRE E N I N GS- the obj ecti ve prel i ms of I I T-
JEE. A f ormat bui l t to screen maj ori ty of t he
aspi rants, f rom two l akhs (two hundred
thousands) to a mere 15,000, who woul d then
compete f or M AI N S, a wri tten subj ective test.
Preet, Saahi l , Johny and I had opted f or K ota
center. We were al l otted di f f erent school s as exam
centers. My room was kept reserved f or al l
i mportant di scussi ons. That ti me t he t opi c of
di scussi on was the most awai ted screeni ngs. I was
on my study chai r whi l e Johny and Preet were
l oungi ng on my bed. Saahi l , N i l esh and N i khi l
were l eani ng on my rooms wall . Pl umbum and
Begi had al ready l ef t K ota as they had opted f or
thei r hometown as exam center.
Ti me passes by so qui ckl y. I f eel as i f
tomorrow agai n theres a cl ass, as i f i ts just a
begi nni ng, Saahi l sai d.
We al l nodded.
Lets have a group photo, Johny suggested.
Great i dea! I thi nk we al l are photogeni c
enough and no f urther make up i s requi red. Lets
go to N eetu Photo Studi o, I sai d.
10 minutes later
N i l esh, stop behavi ng l i ke a ki d! D ont make
horns above my head by your f i ngers, Preet
K.O.T.A 181

grumbl ed. But N i l esh wasnt goi ng to gi ve up so
easil y.
Say cheese! Photographer shouted t o screen
every other noi se.
We al l cheesed to di splay all our teeth. N i l esh
managed to represent horns of Preet. We wi shed
each other A l l T he Best i n al l possi bl e permutati ons
and combi nati ons, whi ch gave us a better f eel of
that subj ect.
N i l esh opted f or D el hi center. We gave hi m a
ni ce f arewell by givi ng hi m sweet boxes f or hi s
j ourney to D el hi .
4
th
April, 2005
Screenings, I I T -JE E, Kota center
I t was one of those days when auto dri vers
charged exorbi tant rates and were qui te busy. I
was f ortunate to have Sali m Bhai as my f ri end. H e
dropped me at the center where I saw the huge
crowd of anxi ous aspi rants of I I T-JEE. I took out
my wal l et and saw Smi tas pi cture. I was mi ssi ng
her badl y.
Whether I get sel ected or not, but I promi se
I l l beat al l the students of thi s center, I promi sed
vi rtual Smi ta. I wished i f she coul d hear me and
understand my degree of l ove f or her.
Soon we al l were made to enter the test cent er
on produci ng our admi t cards bef ore securi ty
of f i ci al s. We were not supposed to carry any ki nd
of paper al ong wi th us. Even wal l ets and mobi l es
were not permi tted. But sti l l I kept that pi cture of
Smi ta i n my pocket.
9:15 A.M . Seal ed questi on papers al ong wi th
OMRs were di stri buted and we were requi red to
f i ll all the f ormali ti es.

9:30 A.M . A bel l rang, compel l i ng us to break
the seal of that vi rgi n questi on paper. I used my
pen t o break i t. But some unf ortunate f ool s spent
10 preci ous mi nutes f or breaki ng the seal i tsel f .
The questi on paper was somewhat tough. But
K ota speci es were ready f or anythi ng and so I
started answeri ng them rapi dl y, f i rst Physi cs then
Chemi stry and f i nal l y Math. Math had been a
subj ect of worry f or me and I di dnt at tempt i t
wel l .
12:15 P.M . A warni ng bel l rang to cauti on us
of the i mmi nent end.
12:30 P.M . Another bel l rang to decl are the
end of the exam. Questi on paper al ong wi th OMR
was handed over to the i nvi gi lator.
A seri es of questi ons then f l oated i n the ai r.
1) What was the l evel of the exam?
2) H ow many questi ons di d you attempt?
3) H ow much cut of f are you expecti ng?
I reached 1-PA-90 to f i nd Preet and Saahi l
danci ng.
I ts al l over. Today we can dance. We were on
an exi l e and now i ts over, Saahi l shouted.
I was happy f or we di d well up to our
standards. But our f ates were to be deci ded soon
on the j udgment day.
K.O.T.A 183

64
JUD GE M EN T D AY

April 28, 2005
Wake up Akash! Resul ts woul d be out by 8
A.M. H urry! D on t you know theres a Q f or
everythi ng here?
Johnys voi ce served as a perf ect al arm. I
rushed to open the door. Saahi l too entered my
room wi th a toothbrush i n hi s mouth li ke a ci gar.
Server woul d be down anyti me. We have to
reach t he cyber caf as soon as possi bl e, Johny
sai d.
We woke up Preet to make hi m real ize the f act
that SCRE E N I N GS resul t was to be announced
that day. H eart 2 H eart had some techni cal
probl ems. So we dashed to Bi ts N Bytes.
10 minutes later
We parked our bi cycl es outsi de Bi ts N Bytes
and then we saw a l ong Q. F i r st come, fi r st ser ve.
Johny was gl ari ng at me. We wrote our respecti ve
rol l numbers on a chi t. An Uncl e col l ected them
to reveal the secret el ectroni c resul ts.
10 Rupees. That was the cost of a resul t f or
Bi ts N Bytes. But f or us, i t was a pri cel ess af f ai r.
The server went down many ti mes i n between. We
practi cal l y saw a Queui ng probl em of Operati onal
Research i n that l ong Q. Fi nal l y my turn came and
my rol l number was f ed i nto a box. I t ook out
Smi tas phot o and ki ssed i t. And then t he
SUBMI T button was pressed. The resul t page was
l oadi ng at snail s speed. I thought I coul d have
had my breakf ast or another nap i n the mean ti me.

I kept my f i ngers crossed and my heart was
agai n a f rog, j umpi ng up and down, same l i ke
when I met Smi ta. The hopes of my parents, my
ti rel ess ef f orts, output of my two years i nput, my
chance t o i mpress Smi ta- al l were at stake. I
thought I di d i t. I made i t i nto t he M AI N S. But
H ei senber g s U ncer t ai nt y Pr i nci pl e was always there t o
bot her me. I t was a game sol el y based on cut of f , a
mi ni mum number of marks that coul d make me
appear i n the M AI N S.
On the screen, i n red l etters, was wri tten
SORRY. T H I S ROLL N UM BER D I D N OT
QUALI FY FOR M AI N S.
What? I coul dnt beli eve i t.
Many more eyes were gl anci ng at my resul t.
Whos thi s ass who got a ki ck on hi s ass f rom
I I T-JEE, a voi ce f rom t he crowd taunted. A tear
came out of my eye. And then anot her. But I
wi ped them away as i t was not the end. Li f e sucks.
Johny and Saahi l made i t. But Preet got
dej ected and rej ected, j ust li ke me.
Akash! What happened? I thi nk you made i t.
Wheres my party? Johny congratul ated.
I got di squali f i ed, I sai d wi th a heavy heart.
H e empathi zed wi th me.
Saahi l rushed toward Johny and hugged hi m. I
coul d f eel how the success tasted, through them.
We al l came back and I went strai ght to my
room. I t ook out my wal l et and saw her pi cture. A
tear tri ckl ed down my eyes and gravi ty pull ed i t
down over my cheeks. I tri ed my best. But I l ost.
Why di d you do thi s to me? I di dnt deserve i t.
What was my f aul t? That I came to K ota, that I
K.O.T.A 185

l oved Smi ta or that I dont bel i eve i n your
i ntenti ons? Tel l me!
I yel l ed at the omni present. But i t was of no
use. There was no excuse f or my f ai lure.
I f you l ose by a mi l li met er or by a mi l e, you l ose.
I was al so sad because Preet and Saahi l were
l eavi ng that day f or thei r hometown, Bhopal , to
give another deadl y exam of AI EEE. I t was l ikel y
that they woul d never return to K ota.
I t was on the j udgment day that I was
termi nated by a termi nator- I I T-JEE.

65
VALED I CT I ON -2

M ay 2, 2005
Af ter my di smal perf ormance i n I I T-JEE I
del i beratel y underperf ormed i n AI EEE. Then I
was l ef t wi th two opti ons-one, t o surrender and
l ay out my arms and second, to f ight and wi n. My
i nner sel f woul d have never compel l ed me to
choose t he f i rst one. I wanted to prove mysel f at
any cost.
But f or that I have to wai t f or one whol e year.
I coul d have easi l y got admi tted i nto any other
state l evel coll ege by givi ng state engi neeri ng
exams. But to get i nto I I Ts was my onl y ai m. I
was a wounded sol di er, not ready to succumb to
my f ail ures.
I went to H ear t 2 H ear t to bi d bye to RB. H e
f el t sad to see me depressed. That day we had a
si l ent di scourse through our eyes. H e patted my
back. I met Gundey at hi s shop, Modern Vi deo
Li brary. H e consol ed me by of f eri ng a f ree VCD
of H um T um. I ni ti al l y I resented but then he
i nsi sted me to keep i t. I bi d bye to hi m.
I met many of my f ri ends on my way-
Pohawalas, Securi ty guards of Gurukul etc. I went
to Sangam to have my l ast meal of that sessi on. I
was getti ng emoti onal . I was goi ng to mi ss i t
badl y. Ram was also sad to hear about my resul ts
and my departure.
I packed my bags and set of f f or the rai l way
stati on. I hi red Sali m Bhai s auto. H e took
nomi nal charges that day. I can never f orget t he
K.O.T.A 187

respect these peopl e gave me. Money and other
materi al isti c thi ngs are ephemeral but respect i s
eternal . I ts very hard to earn respect.
On my way to t he stati on I hal ted at Amar
Punj abi D haba to take a qui ck meal . I had heard a
l ot about i t. To be honest, i t was real l y the best
dhaba. Servi ce was qui ck and qual i ty was such that
you woul d l ove to come t here agai n. What an
i rony that I went t o that D haba when I was
l eavi ng K ota.
I went back to N agpur. As expected, peopl e
there were more concerned about my f ai lure than
I was.
Your son was good i n studi es til l he was here.
You shoul d not have sent hi m t o K ota. H e has
now sl i pped out of your hands. Thats why he
f ail ed.
My dad had to li sten i t al l . But I cared the l east
as peopl e have the hobby of tal ki ng about others.
29
th
M ay, 2005
I ts my bi rthday today.
I sent an of f l i ne message to Smi ta. I never
expected any repl y.
N ext day
I was browsi ng Yahoo mai l when I saw an
of f l i ne message.
H appi e brthday! Mny rtrns of d day!
Unbel i evabl e!
I t was f rom Smi tas i d. Fi nall y I got my gi f t of
getti ng her wishes. I t gave me a new zeal . I gave
the entrance exam of Gurukul f or the second ti me
and I cl eared i t. I j umped i nto Chennai Jai pur
express and announced-
K ota! I m comi ng.

13th Class Series
66
2
nd
I N N I N GS

Same place, same ai m.
Same passi on, same game.
I was back to K ota. I stil l coul dnt f orget how
peopl e ri di cul ed me. They all wanted a bef i tti ng
repl y.
Peopl e are def i ned as those who al ways pat
your back ti l l you are doi ng wel l . And the day you
f umbl e, they al l are present not to gi ve you a
hel pi ng hand, but to enj oy watchi ng your f ree f all .
Saahi l and I shared somethi ng i n common. We
bot h coul dnt make i t i nto I I Ts j ust by one mark
and we both came back to K ota. The onl y
di f f erence was that I di dnt cl ear SCRE EN I N GS
and he M AI N S. We knew the i mportance of one
mark i n I ndia by then.
Arpi t and Ashi sh entered I I T Powai whi l e
Johny made i t i nto I I T K haragpur. Begi j oi ned
N TU, Si ngapore. Pl umbum, N i l esh, N ikhi l , Anish
got di squali f i ed.
Someti mes you l ose trust upon your own
cal i ber just because of the term l uck . I ts another
of those excuses that we usuall y put i n f ront of
others to hi de our f ai l ure. But stil l I thought I was
unl ucky.
Saahi l had then taken a room above H SBC
ATM on rent. H e wanted t o be al one. I coul dnt
f orget those days when we di d combi ned study.
K.O.T.A 189

And Smi ta. I di dnt know where she was. I
took out my wall et to see her pi cture. I t gave me
zeal to f ight agai nst al l odds. I was more desperate
to make i t anyhow i nto the presti gi ous I I Ts, to
answer al l those who questi oned my cal i ber.
I reached 1-PA-90 to extend my l i vi ng contract
wi th my l andl ord f or one more year. H e was
l ooki ng at me wi th pi ty. I had to f ace i t all .
N ew f aces occupi ed ol d rooms t here. Audi i n
PB cum LBs room (Mudi t vi rtuall y l ived i n i t),
Sachi n i n N i khil s, Ari hant i n Saahil s and Shukl a
i n Preets. I got my ol d room back. They al l were
i n 12
th
class. I soon made f ri ends wi th them and
became Akash Bhai ya. I got new f ri ends i n my
nei ghborhood as wel l - Anki t and K i shore. They
were cousi ns and were f ri ends of Saahil .
Saahi l and I were agai n at the recepti on cent er
to i nqui re about the batch al l otments. A total of
20 batches f rom R-1 to R-10 and S-1 to S-10 came
i nto exi stence. I was then i n R-8. Saahi l and Anki t
were i n t he best, R-1 whi l e K i shore was i n S-4.
Anki t had a crush upon Sej al , who li ke Smi ta was
a rare combi nati on of beauty and brai n. But i t was
al so one si ded af f ai r. A rumor was i n the ai r that
she was i n l ove wi th Swasti k, an ex-Gurukuli te,
then i n I I T D el hi . I t made Anki t crestf al l en. The
thi ng that hurt hi m the most was that they were i n
the same batch f or the sessi on.
I never thought that Anki ts story was goi ng to
i ntersect mi ne very soon.


67
ORKUT

D o you have any i dea of what Smi ta i s doi ng
on Orkut? Anki t questi oned me.
What happened?
She tri ed to i nterf ere i n the l ove l i f e of Swasti k
and Sej al .
What?
She sent hi m a scrap t hat was a bi t crap.
Swastik tol d her not t o shi t anymore i n hi s
scrapbook and warned her t o be out of hi s l ove
l i f e.
The same Sejal whom you l ike? I asked.
Forget that part and concentrate on yours, he
repl i ed. I ni ti all y I thought that Smi ta i s a good
gi rl . But af ter thi s epi sode I cant bel i eve i t. Shes
no l ess than a vamp.
What di d she actual l y scrap?I asked angril y.
Swastik del eted that scrap. You can i magi ne
the l evel of mess she created. I stil l doubt your
choi ce. I thi nk shes not l i ke what you thought, he
sai d.
H ow can I access that scrapbook? I i nqui red.
Someone has t o i nvi te you to j oi n Orkut, he
repl i ed.
Can you come wi th me to H ear t 2 H eart ?
I have some work today. I wil l drop you an
i nvi te by af ternoon.
Okay! But I sti ll doubt that Smi ta created any
mess.
I m your good f ri end. I ts my duty to i nf orm
you, he sai d. H e l ef t f or hi s class.
K.O.T.A 191

E ve at H eart 2 H eart
RB assi gned me a remote corner to carry on
my busi ness. I got the i nvi tati on f rom Anki t on
my Yahoo mai l . I cl i cked on the hyperl i nk and
then I entered the worl d of Orkut.
The most conf usi ng part of Orkut i s the
scrapbook. I ni ti al l y you see your own scrapbook
and wri te scraps to sel f . RB sai d.
I di d the same mi stake. The most chal l engi ng
part i s to compl ete the Orkut prof i l e. I t took me
hal f an hour to do so. Beads of perspi rati on
f ormed al l over my f orehead.
I made a vi si t to Swasti ks prof i l e. I f ound
not hi ng meani ngf ul . Then I searched f or Smi tas
prof i l e. I n her scrapbook I f ound a scrap f rom
Swastik. Anki t was right. I coul dnt bel i eve that
Smi ta created a mess. To become a bone of
contenti on between two l overs i s one of t he
greatest si ns. That kil l ed my l ove f or her. H ow can I
ever l ove her ?
I saw her prof i l e. The i nf o provi ded i n i t was
qui te l ow as per my standards. H er address, phone
number and bi rthdate were not menti oned si nce i t
was a gi rl s prof i l e. I signed of f and stood up.
What happened? RB i nqui red.
H eres your money. Ti mes up and so i s my
obj ecti ve.

68
YAH OO!

You l ooked worri ed yesterday. Whats the
matter? RB asked.
I tol d hi m the enti re story.
May be God has better pl ans f or you, he
consol ed.
System f ree? I asked. H e nodded.
I si gned i nto Yahoo messenger to pour al l my
anger over Smi ta.
Who t he hel l do u t hi nk ursl f 2 b? I t hght u 2
b gud bt u trnd out 2 b a home breaker.
I l ikd u so mch bt u brk my heart.
U wl d nvr undrstnd wat true luv is.
N vr evr tlk 2 me.
Bye f revr.
I was weepi ng f rom my heart. Fi rst i t was I I T-
JEE and then l ove that broke me f rom wi thi n.
Forget her l i ke a sweet dream, RB sai d.
H ow coul d I for get my dr eam gi r l so easi l y?
I took out my wal l et to tear t hat pi cture of
Smi ta. But I kept i t back, saf e.
I recal l ed some ol d memori es associ ated wi th
Yahoo messenger. I used to f li rt wi th Paki stani
guys through a f ake i d- Al isa Aryan, an Angl o
I ndi an f rom Uni versi ty of Cal i f orni a. The moment
I entered t he Paki stan chat rooms, guys went
crazy.
H i . ASL plz, a common request by them. A
H i f rom my si de acted as f uel f or f i re. I kept my
age f l exi bl e and at ti mes tol d guys never to ask a
K.O.T.A 193

gi rl s age. I knew exactl y what they wanted and I
del ivered accordi ngl y, to keep thei r i nterest al ive.
When they asked f or a pi cture, I sent them
photos f rom a Russi an bri de websi te. Sendi ng a
pi cture of some popul ar actress/ model woul d
have got me caught. And eventual l y guys f el l i n
l ove wi th f ake Al isa that way. I made f ool out of
many ti l l my career ended as a one si ded l over i n
real li f e. I hurt f eeli ngs of many and then i t was
my turn.
I came back to my room and started turni ng
pages of the di ary i n whi ch I wrote many romanti c
poems dedi cated to Smi ta. I was sti ll conf used.
W as i t an E nd or a N ew Begi nni ng?

69
I N FAT UAT I ON ?

N i ce to see you agai n. Systems f ree, RB sai d.
Counter stri ke or i nternet?
I nternet, I repl i ed i nstantl y.
I sat at t he same pl ace where she broke my
heart. I si gned i nto Yahoo messenger. I saw some
of f l i ne messages. Most of them were f rom
prosti tutes.
Cl i ck on thi s l i nk 2 c me naked.
I s i t compul sor y?
Once I had a f unny chat wi th a prosti tute.
Ur ASL pl s, she requested.
17 M I ndi a, I repl i ed.
U nghty boy! Cl i ck on thi s bl ue l i nk 2 c me
naked.
U wl d luk more beauti f ul i n cl oths.
Sum boys scrw me up. H ey! Com on. I m on
my webcm, naked.
I was getti ng those eroti c of f ers si nce I j oi ned
Yahoo. But I real l y wi shed to talk to sensi bl e gi rl s,
not t o those prosti tutes or Smi ta. Whi l e scroll i ng
down I f ound an of f li ne message f rom Smi ta.
Wht hav I done n y r u behavi n l ik thi s?
I got emoti onal and I started converti ng my
f eel i ngs i nto text f ormat.
I nvr xpctd u 2 b such. I l waz assumd u 2 b a
sweet, si mpl gal . I l ikd u.
I tol d her about that scrapbook case.
I sti ll miss you, I ended the message.
I cl osed my eyes and tears made t hei r way out.
I was wonderi ng what my actual probl em was.
K.O.T.A 195

D i d I real l y l ove her or di d I l ove some gi rl I
i magi ned? I wi ped of f my tears.
RB, I m goi ng. I l l gi ve you the money
tomorrow, I sai d.
H e noti ced t hat my voi ce texture had suddenl y
changed as i t grew heavy.
Why are you cryi ng? he asked.
I smi l ed i n repl y but i t was the bi ggest l i e. H e
understood everythi ng.
Smi ta? Come on Akash! Gi rl s and gi rl s are
everywhere, he sai d.
But gi r l s l i k e Smi t a ar e ver y rar e.
I thought RB was sti ll unaware of the gi rl s
equati on-
Beaut y* A vai labi li t y* Br ai n= Const ant
I hate God. I never thought i t necessary to
hang around Smi ta. God pl otted i nci dents whi ch
f orced me to l ove her. God arranged condi ti ons
that compel l ed me to run behi nd her. And when
everythi ng was goi ng to be over, God was agai n
pl anni ng to do somet hi ng new and wei rd. Reali ty
i s trul y wei rder than f i cti on.
I came back home and had my f ace wash. I
then sol ved I rodov f or a f ew hours. I was back to
H ear t 2 H ear t i n the eveni ng. I agai n entered i nt o
the worl d of Yahoo messenger. I saw two of f l i ne
messages, both f rom Smi ta.
1) D o trst me. I hav nt done nythi n wrng. Pl s
undrstnd me.
2) U r a vry gud boy. Bt I sti l thi nk i ts
i nf atuati on. Cnf i rm i t.


70
WE LLEN
6 A.M .
Sun was stil l i n i ts deep slumber when I was
standi ng near H SBC ATM, wai ti ng f or Saahil to
come out. Getti ng up earl y boosts your
conf i dence. You real i ze that you have more ti me
i n hand to do some usef ul stuf f than those stil l
sl eepi ng.
I l i ke vi si ti ng templ es earl y i n the morni ng and
j oggi ng i s good f or heal th, Saahi l sai d, a ni ght
bef ore.
I knew he was more i nterested i n D evi yon k e
D ar shan (watchi ng Godesses). I was stil l thi nki ng
about those of f l i ne messages of Smi ta when Saahi l
came down.
Lets go to Well en lane, he sai d.
Wel l en was the best medi cal coachi ng i nsti tute
of I ndi a. Most of the seats of AI I MS got f i l l ed by
i ts students. 90 % of Well en students were gi rl s.
I know the route. Jog wi th me, Saahi l sai d.
We started j oggi ng on the empty streets. Some
Pohawalas were getti ng Pohas (beaten ri ce) ready
f or the breakf ast. An auto dri ver was l oungi ng i n
hi s auto, li steni ng to D hoom M achal e (popul ar
Bol l ywood song f rom the movi e D hoom).
We hal ted at a templ e on our way. I bei ng an
antagoni st was not i nterested to pray. But I di d
f ol d my hands to show my respect f or Saahi l s
f eel i ngs. H e cl osed hi s eyes and murmured
somethi ng. And then we were agai n j oggi ng.
We then had a gl i mpse of a gi rl walki ng
sol i taril y on the empty Wel l en l ane. She was i n the
K.O.T.A 197

dress code of Wel l en. Rel ati vi ty theory suggested
that we were approachi ng her. Saahi l s gri n always
made gi rl s mi sunderstand hi m as i t di d that ti me.
We were surel y not goi ng to rape her. Real men
don t r ape. Saahi l was just havi ng an eye toni c. I
al ready had somethi ng green and pl easi ng to l ook
at, that G i r l I n G r een aka Smi ta. But Saahil was
never sati sf i ed. We saw another gi rl j oi ni ng the
f i rst one. More gi rl s j oi ned them. Thei r popul ati on
prol i f erated and I thought i t bett er t o ret reat. But
Saahi l was i n no mood to l eave that opportuni ty
to see so many beauti f ul gi rl s together.
I thi nk we should l eave, I warned Saahi l , as i f
we were surf i ng over a Tsunami .
You thi nk they woul d rape us, Saahi l wi nked.
H i s eyes were transf i xed upon them.
By then about 50 gi rl s were marchi ng straight
toward us. We avoi ded eye contact and our
j oggi ng transf ormed i nto runni ng. As we came
f orward we f ound rooms of beauti f ul , sexy Well en
gi rl s. One such gi rl weari ng a si mpl e pi nk Sal war
K urta was perf ormi ng Sur ya Puj a (Sun worshi p) by
pouri ng water f rom a pot on a Tul si (H ol y Basi l )
pl ant, i n f ront of the ri si ng sun. I l oved that ki nd
of gi rl s, si mpl e and beauti f ul .
Look at thi s noti ce. PG rooms avai labl e f or
boys and gi rls, Saahi l sai d. I t means both boys
and gi rl s can have a l ivi ng rel ati onshi p. Wow! And
the ki ds born to them can start thei r l i ves i n K ota
ri ght away by attendi ng coachi ng i nsti tutes.
Awesome!
I smi l ed. We soon came back to our rooms.
Earl y morni ng j oggi ng became a part of our
dai l y routi ne and al so our f avori te ti me pass.

71
RS CON FI GURAT I ON

A new Organi c Chemi stry f acul ty has j oi ned
Gurukul , Saahil announced. H e has a teachi ng
experi ence of over 10 years. H e has been
associ ated wi th Turni ng Poi nt coachi ng classes i n
the past. Moreover hes an I UPAC member and
has a doctorate degree too.
Anki t, Saahil , Sachi n, Ari hant, K i shore, Audi
and I were havi ng a round tabl e conf erence at
Sangam.
Whats hi s name? Anki t asked.
RS. I t remi nds me of t he RS conf i gurati on f or
the opti cal l y active compounds, Saahi l answered.
H ow do you manage to col l ect so much i nf o
i n advance? I asked.
Our sexy young recepti oni st. Shes my I SP-
I ntel l i gence & Spy news Provi der. I m a real news
wi repull er, Saahi l sai d wi th conf i dence.
I thought shes your I SP- I nt el l i gent Sex
Provi der, K i shore sai d.
Everyone had a l augh.
K i shore and Saahi l had j ust one t hi ng i n
common- they bot h l oved gi rl s, especi al l y Well en
gi rl s. For rest of t he t hi ngs Saahil was a news
wi repull er and K i shore i n turn, hi s l eg pul l er.
Tomorrow, we al l would come to know t he
truth, Anki t uttered.
N ext D ay
I col l ected BTH and APQs f rom the APQ
desk and entered cl assroom no. 11. RS was the
hot topi c of discussi on there.
K.O.T.A 199

And then he entered. 6 f eet tall , somewhat bal d
but very cute. H e wore specs and had an ai r of
conf i dence around hi m.
Everyone f i ne, he started.
Yes, f ew voi ces whi spered.
I cant hear you. D i dnt you have your
breakf ast?
Everyone nodded.
Then speak up a bi t l oud. Everybody f i ne, he
yel l ed.
Yes Si r, everyone shouted, as i f i n some Army
trai ni ng camp.
I was about to drown i n the memori es of Y es
Si r when the voi ce of RS knocked my ear drums.
Fri ends! My name is Rupal Sunehra. I m here
to teach you Organi c Chemi stry. I m a car whose
sol e f uel i s your voi ce, your response to my
questi ons.
N othi ng was f emi ni ne about hi m except hi s
name. H e made us sol ve some very basi c
questi ons. One of my batchmates, who t hought he
knew everythi ng i n Organi c Chemi stry, was busy
gossi pi ng wi th hi s nei ghbor.
Get up, you bl ack shi rt! RS roared. H i s eyes
were red wi th rage. RS came near to hi s seat.
Gi ve me your I D card. You dont deserve to
be a Gurukul i te. You al l must know that many
students are sti l l standi ng i n a l ong hopel ess Q
outsi de, who are more el i gi bl e. What i f I throw
thi s sensel ess, stupi d boy out? Tel l me! What
shoul d I do wi th hi m?
A pi n drop si l ence prevai l ed f or a f ew seconds.
H i s parti all y bal d l ooks and hi s personal i ty
matched wi th t hat of Raghu of Roadi es (a youth

real i ty show on MTV) f ame. H e was a strong
proponent of democracy as he rel i ed on t he
common deci si on of the class.
Suspend hi m f or the day, t he whol e cl ass
shouted i n uni son.
A few days later
Fear someti mes compel s you to do thi ngs you
are not supposed to.
I was si tti ng i n the l ast row and RS di ctated
f i ve questi ons to us. I wasnt abl e to hear the l ast
one properl y. Then I di d the unf orgivabl e. I nstead
of pl eadi ng hi m to repeat t he questi on, I peeked
i nto my nei ghbors regi ster.
RS wrote t he answers on the whi te board and
turned back.
H ow many of you got the answers correct.
Al l but one hand went up.
I was sti l l peeki ng i nto my nei ghbors regi ster.
My answer was i ncorrect. Accordi ng t o t he
questi on asked, my answer was 100% correct but I
was too l ate to track that the questi on i tsel f was
wrong.
I knew there woul d be speci al cases i n thi s
batch too. N ow sol ve thi s one.
H e gave another questi on. I sol ved i t wi thi n
seconds.
You, red T-Shi rt! Whats your answer? RS
i nqui red.
Si r, aromati ci ty woul d i ncrease and the
reacti vi ty woul d decrease i n thi s case, I sai d
conf i dentl y.
Are you conf i dent?
K.O.T.A 201

Si r, I mean aromati ci ty woul d decrease, I
reverted back. I f eared that I agai n commi tted
some mi stake.
Your nei ghbor i s spi tti ng and you are l i cki ng
i t. Marry a woman li ke I ndi ra Gandhi (f i rst and
onl y l ady pri me mi ni ster of I ndi a) who can bot h
cook and earn, RS shouted. Fri ends, do you al l
know about RD S (Rate D etermi ni ng Step) of a
reacti on?
Yes Si r! the cl ass roared.
Then you must al so know that t hi s red T-Shi rt
guy i s the RD S of the cl ass. Ti ll thi s f ool doesnt
understand, the cl ass cant proceed. N ote t hi s
poi nt as a new RS concept, RS poi nted.
The cl ass got over wi th that l i ne. Al though RS
scared the hel l out of me, much more was sti l l i n
store i n my next Physi cs cl ass.

72
AGS LI ST

What do you know about Flui d Mechani cs?
Our Physi cs cl ass commenced by that questi on
of one of t he scari est teachers of Gurukul , Al ok
Gupta aka AG.
Fl ui d mechani cs was consi dered to be one of
the toughest t opi cs i n I I T-JEE syl l abi . SH M,
Tri gonomet ry and Coni c Secti on envi ed i t.
Ti l l now, you donkeys knew that buoyancy
f orce i s a ghost. From somewhere, al l of a sudden,
emerges thi s magi cal f orce that al ways acts i n an
upward di recti on. I snt i t? he commented and
qui ckl y ran his f i ngers through his hai rs.
H i s hai rstyl e was aki n to Raj A r yan (l ead
character of Bol l ywood movi e M ohabbat ei n) who
al ways carri ed a Vi oli n wi th hi m. AG i nstead
al ways carri ed a tif f i n box.
H e used an approach of teachi ng qui te popul ar
among students as Cur si ng A ppr oach. H e used to
curse students i n such a way that they
remembered hi s each and every cl ass, l i f el ong.
Many students shunned hi s cl asses because of that
approach. They never di d understand hi m. But
Saahi l and I never mi ssed any of his class. We
knew that hi s Cur si ng A ppr oach was i n f act a boon
f or us.
H e was cal l ed the Master of Ri gi d bodi es. But
he became more popul ar because of hi s SUFOS-
Student U n-Fri endl y Operati ng Syst em. Af t er
Schi ndl ers l ist we came to know about AGs li st-
a li st of donkeys decl ared by AG.
K.O.T.A 203

H e commenced the doubt sessi on by penni ng
down al l the answers of the APQ on the whi te
board.
I m aski ng one by one. Rai se your hands if you
have any doubt i n a parti cul ar questi on. Okay, he
sai d. Questi on no.1?
A f ew conf i dent hands went up.
Whi ch donkey has got a doubt i n i t? he asked.
And they al l f ell down.
Come on f ool , rai se up your hand, he i nsisted.
One hand was quiveri ng as i t got rai sed up
agai n. There was an external resistance call ed the
cur si ng for ce of A G acti ng on i t whi ch was
superseded by the i nqui si tive f orce acti ng
i nternal l y. I t was my hand.
Lets read the questi on caref ul l y. Just i magi ne
that.Okay. N ow I got i t. You can never sol ve
thi s questi on. Ask why?
Why? I asked wi th a ti nge of i nnocence i n my
voi ce.
Just i magi ne...H ow can you i magi ne? Because
you are a donkey and donkeys dont i magi ne, he
suggested.
H e then gave a bri ef answer to that questi on.
But he di dnt stop cursi ng me f or brayi ng over a
si mpl e Just I magi ne.
Questi on 2, any doubts? he conti nued.
N obody wi shed to f al l i nto the AGs l i st. So no
more doubts. N o more conf i dent hands i ncl udi ng
mi ne. Fi nall y a tough questi on presented an
opportuni ty t o t hose dul l hands to regai n
conf i dence. N obody was abl e to sol ve i t.
Unexpectedl y AG sol ved the whol e questi on on

the board and t hat too, wi thout cursi ng. H e knew
the ri ght ti me and the right guy to curse.
N ext. 14. Any doubt?
A f ew hands went up i n the ai r.
N ow who the f ool has got a probl em wi th
14? he shouted.
And agai n, they al l f ell down except one. I
di dnt know hi s name but I very wel l knew that he
was good at Physi cs.
AG scanned the questi on and he ran f i ngers
through hi s hai rs as a hi nt of f rustrati on that had
crept i nto hi m.
D i d you pass your board exams of 10
th
? Or
di d you get a di rect entry to the Gurukul ?
H i s questi on surpri sed us all .
You can never sol ve thi s questi on, I tel l you
why. I t contai ns graph and si nce you f ai l ed i n your
hi gh school f or not knowi ng graphs, how can you
sol ve i t? he commented.
Everyone had a l augh.
What f or are you all l aughi ng? You are no
better, he grumbl ed.
The cl ass got over. Everyone took a deep
breath. Whi l e comi ng out, I met t he onl y other
donkey of our class declared by AG that day.
Onl y two of us had the guts to rai se our
doubts, however sil l y they were, he sai d.
And so we are now of f i ci all y i n AGs l i st, I
sai d wi th pri de.
K.O.T.A 205

73
D AT E WI T H H E R D AD

I was standi ng outsi de Smi tas resi dence i n
Lucknow, around 10 A.M. i n the morni ng. I coul d
no l onger stay away f rom her. Af ter a f ew
mi nutes, she came out. Probabl y she saw me f rom
the wi ndow. She l ooked worri ed.
H ey Akash! What are you doi ng here? she
asked.
W hat? She doesn t want me t o be her e? She doesn t
l ove me? Should I go back ?
Those thoughts buri ed my conf i dence. But I
had the abi l i ty to manage si tuati ons, especi al l y
when they were about to change my l i f e.
Smi ta, I wi sh thi ngs woul d have not gone t he
way as they di d. I m unf ortunate that I was never
abl e to show what real l y was present. Al l that
came bef ore you was just the opposi te of what I
thought and wi shed. But here I m today, i n f ront
of your house, j ust because of you, I sai d i n a
f l ow.
But dads i nsi de. What i f he sees you? You
must l eave i mmedi atel y, she warned. She sounded
concerned.
Promi se me that youl l be back soon, I
requested.
Smi ta. What are you doi ng there? And whom
are you tal ki ng to? Smi tas dad shouted.
Run Akash! You coul d be i n troubl e, she
cri ed.
I was about to run away when I stopped and
turned back. Smi tas dad then l ooked at me as i f I

was an ali en on thi s pl anet. H i s l ooks were
unami abl e.
N amaste Uncl e! I m Akash f rom Gurukul .
Smi ta and I were i n the same batch.
Smi ta, you get i nsi de. Let me greet your guest,
he sai d.
Smi ta gave a l ast worri ed l ook to me and went
i nsi de. I t seemed l i ke she l oved to stay wi th me. I
coul dnt bel i eve i t.
So you are Smi tas batchmate. Ri ght? he
asked. I hate repeati ng same detail s but I pref erred
to nod.
And? he asked.
Sorry, I di dnt get i t.
Boyf ri end?
I sti l l dont know. Actuall y i t depends on how
a boyf ri end i s def i ned, I repl i ed.
Smi tas dad was totall y conf used. I was i n hi s
i ntervi ew to get placement i n hi s heart and get
Smi ta as my package wi th perks and pri vi l eges i n
the f orm of honeymoon etc.
Are you i n any of the presti gi ous I I Ts?
N o! But I m pret ty sure that I l l crack i t thi s
ti me. I m di l igent and i ntel li gent. Just a bi t
hapl ess, I sai d conf i dentl y.
You cant take away my daughter. You say
much and do nothi ng except dawdl i ng. I know
boys l i ke you very well . Get l ost f rom here and
never come back, he sai d and poi nted hi s i ndex
f i nger toward the exi t.
But Uncl e, I came so f ar just to talk to her.
Just a f ew mi nutes and I woul d be done, I
resi sted.
K.O.T.A 207

N o way! You f ai l ed, he sai d and burst i nto
l aughter.
A drop of tear came i nto my eyes. I wi ped i t
of f as a si gn of f ight back.
I m al ways el igi bl e f or Smi ta. I dont care
about the f acts. I know mysel f better than what
they suggest. The thi ng that matters the most i s
that I l ove her.
What? Are you out of your senses? he asked.
The f act i s that I l ove her, I l ove her and I
l ove her, I repeated.
Al arm sounded to wake me up f rom my
sl umber. Even i nclusi on i n AGs li st of donkeys
and scol di ng f rom RS were l ess terri f yi ng than that
ni ghtmare.
I rushed to Anki ts room to tel l hi m about that
dream.
Man! At l east domi nate i n your dreams.
Anyways, you now know what has to be done, he
sai d.
What? I asked.
D uf f er, crack I I T-JEE and then propose her,
bef ore i ts too l ate.


74
D OST AN A

Once I hugged both K i shore and Anki t when I
met them af ter a l ong peri od. But they mi stook
me.
Bhai , Baap nahi n hai k ya t er e ghar mei n? (D ont
you have dad and brothers at your home?) Anki t
shouted.
Oh, comn! You both are j ust my f ri ends, I
j ustif i ed.
Gay Saala, K i shore muttered.
Just a mi nor change i n vowel s can make one
become a gay f rom a guy. That Jhappi (warm hug)
became a bone of contenti on between me and
them. Fi nal l y the day arri ved when I turned t he
tabl es.
AN N APURN A RE ST AURAN T
Sunday, 8 P.M .
As Sangam was of f f or the eveni ng, we were
hunti ng f or some qui ck meal . A T.V. set always
attracts a l arge crowd and so on Sundays
Annapurna used to be housef ul .
I was f l anked by K i shore and Anki t. They
bought packets of Maggi Masal a. They were al so
si ppi ng sof t dri nk. I was contented wi th Al oo
Parathas (f l at-breads wi th potat o stuf f i ng), two of
them enough to suf f i ce my hunger. I t ook hal f
l i ter Amul f ull cream mil k pack. We were wai ti ng
i n a Q f or t he payment. I was constantl y watchi ng
K i shore. H e i n turn was constantl y l ooki ng at
someone el se.
K.O.T.A 209

K i shore had t he habi t of gazi ng at gi rl s. H e f el l
i n l ove wi th every gi rl he saw on hi s way. And i t
was happeni ng agai n. H e was f all i ng i n l ove wi th a
gi rl i n Annapurna restaurant.
Whats the matter dude? I asked.
H e di dnt utter a word f rom hi s mouth.
K i shore and gi rls, same ol d story, Anki t
answered.
So l ong, sexy hai rs. Beauti f ul f ace, K i shore
f i nall y spoke.
She was i n f ront of us, wai ti ng f or her number
to come. K i shore was standi ng cl ose to her,
smel l i ng the scent of her hai rs. Fi nall y her turn
came.
H ow much? she asked.
A manl y voi ce.
K i shore started rubbi ng hi s eyes and scanned
her f rom top to bott om. H e then came out of the
l i ne, coveri ng his f ace wi th hi s hands. Anki t was
speechl ess. A real shock that shook the worl d of
K i shore, f ul l of gi rl s.
H e was no She. H e was not beauti f ul , rather
handsome. K i shore f el l i n l ove wi th a good
l ooki ng guy havi ng l ong hai rs. We all thought hi m
to be a gi rl but a qui ck G i r l Scan Pr ogr am run by
K i shore di spl ayed- T hr eat det ect ed! A handsome guy
found.
H e broke al l hi s vi rtual bangl es. We pai d our
bi l l s and then I came near to hi m.
N ow tel l me whos gay? I demanded. We al l
l aughed.
At the end of t hat day we shared one t hi ng i n
common- D OSTAN A (f ri endshi p, al so name of a
Bol l ywood movi e based on gay topi c).

75
BACKST RE ET GI RLS

H i Akash! H ow are you?
I t was a f amil i ar voi ce f rom the vocal cords of
a person whom I met af ter a l ong ti me.
H i Ravi ! I m reall y surpri sed to see you agai n.
I was happy t o see hi m but at the same ti me I f el t
bad. H e was al so a repeater then.
Whats your batch? he asked.
R-8. And yours?
Mi ne i s S-2. Ti me has changed. You are now
i n a better batch, he repl i ed.
I was sti ll i n the ei ghth batch and not the f i rst.
So i t hardl y mattered.
D o drop at my room today. Lets r ej oi ce ol d
memori es. What say? he proposed.
I nodded. H e gave hi s address and then we bi d
bye to each other.
E vening
I knocked at Ravi s door. H e opened i t up,
wi th a pai r of headphone speakers f i xed i n hi s ears
l ike a stethoscope to check up not t he beats of
heart but t he beats of musi c. H e was a bi g ti me
musi c l over. But I came to know somethi ng el se
too.
So hows your preparati on goi ng on? I know
youl l def i ni tel y crack I I T-JEE, he sai d.
Thanks a l ot. To be honest I need to work
much harder as I real l y want to cl ear i t thi s ti me,
anyhow.
K.O.T.A 211

I know you want to do i t f or Smi ta. H ey! I
f orgot t o tel l you somethi ng. I have an ol d pi cture
of her. I f you want I can show i t to you.
I was dyi ng to see that pi cture. I nodded.
H e then took out a di ary kept beneat h a pi l e of
I I T-JEE books. The capti on read-
BACK STREET GI RLS.
I t was a prepossessi ng ti tl e i nspi red by the
band- Backstreet Boys.
I tol d you once t hat we l ove to gather i nf o
about gi rl s. We also used to take pi ctures of gi rl s
sneakil y through our spy cams, he sai d.
I read the Pref ace.
T hi s i s a col l abor ati ve wor k of boys who l ove col l ect i ng
i nfo about G uruk ul gi r l s. A l l pi ctur es ar e r eal . D at e and
t i me at whi ch t hese wer e capt ur ed ar e al so ment i oned. A l l
data col l ect ed i s t r ue t o our k nowl edge. I f anybody want s t o
gi ve any suggesti ons, he s not at al l wel come. W e wi l l k i ck
hi s ass. N ow enj oy.
I went through the di ary. N i cknames of gi rl s
and al l i nf o regardi ng them were provi ded. My
eyes stuck upon a new term.
T A I L .
What does tai l ref er to? I asked.
Actual l y every gi rl has one or the ot her guy
chasi ng her. So we termed hi m as a tai l , he sai d
and gi ggl ed.
I saw her pi cture. She l ooked beauti f ul as
al ways. I got emoti onal . I qui ckl y scanned all the
detai l s attached to her f i l e. I f el t proud that I had
more i nf o about her f rom my spy resources than
that f i l e.
My eyes were then f i xed on t he term t ai l i n her
f i l e. N o tai l of Smi ta was reported. There was onl y

one suspect f ound. I turned my eyes t o Ravi f or
an answer.
Thats you. Ti l l now I f ound onl y one boy
madl y behi nd Smi ta.
I was happy that I was the onl y suspected tai l
of Smi ta. I knew by then t hat Backstreet Gi rl s
were the speci es wi th one or more tai l s.
We had a l ight chat f or a f ew mi nutes and then
I came back to my room. I was sti ll wonderi ng
who woul d be the next on the hai rl i nes of thei r
spy cams, t o open a new f i l e i n the di ary of
Backstreet Gi rl s.
K.O.T.A 213

76
M AI D -2

Whi l e that di ary on Backstreet Gi rl s was the
best asset f or gi rl phi ll i c boys and one si ded l overs,
the best I had as a repeater were the two mai ds.
The Bengal i mai d, Shanta D i di used to take care
of my abl uti ons whi l e the mai d f rom Ori ssa,
K anta D i di took care of my room and utensil s.
K anta D i di was more i nti mate to and a mother
f i gure f or me. Shanta D i di advocated absenteei sm.
Once she was absent f or a peri od of f i ve days.
There was a chaos i nsi de my room. I had f i ve T-
shi rts that I used to wear f or t he cl asses and rest
of my dresses too got di rty owi ng to rai ns. So I
was shi rt l ess f or a whol e day as I had no T-shi rt t o
wear on the si xth day. I di dnt wash them on my
own because of the mammot h homework and
ti ght Gurukul schedul e.
They bot h got a mont hl y i ncome of Rs 70/ -
per head f rom us. The whol e credi t f or t he
neatness and cl eanl i ness of my room went t o
K anta D i di .
D o you go to Orissa? I once asked.
I vi si t my nati ves once i n f i ve years, K ata Di di
repl i ed.
H er l i f e was tougher than ours. They used to
work f or the whol e month to meet t hei r ends.
Whatever they earned i n a month vapori zed i n the
f orm of t he school f ees of thei r ki ds. Onl y a smal l
part was l ef t f or them to sustai n.
One i nci dent took pl ace that shook the worl d
around them.

Students of K ota are general l y trustworthy but
excepti ons are everywhere. One such excepti on
who vi rtual l y stayed wi th us was Shukl a. We
ni cknamed hi m Mr. I ndi a as he was always
i nvi si bl e. H e was a student of Mal li k cyber caf
than of Gurukul . Whi l e we used to do a night out
f or pendi ng APQs, he di d the same f or CS
matches.
When I I T-JEE was danci ng on our heads, he
deci ded to l eave f or hi s hometown. We were
surpri sed to f i nd hi m at hi s room f or a f ull day
whi l e he was packi ng hi s bags to l eave the ci ty
f orever. When he was about to depart i n an auto
we bi d hi m f arewell .
So f i nall y l eavi ng K ota? Audi commented.
Yes! And I hope I never come back here
agai n, Shukl a repl i ed.
I t woul d be benef i ci al f or you, Sachi n advi sed.
Ari hant and Shukl a were not i n good terms
and so di dnt talk.
Take care and all the best! I wi shed hi m.
H e was gone l eavi ng behi nd a storm.
N ext day
Bhai ya, i ts now a month. Can you gi ve me my
wage? Shanta D idi requested.
I qui ckl y handed her t he money. But she soon
returned.
Bhai ya, wheres Shukl a Bhai ya? she ventured.
H e l ef t K ota yesterday, I repl i ed. What
happened?
H e di dnt gi ve me wages of two months. I m
i n a bi g f i nanci al cri sis. H ow would I manage
now? she started cryi ng.
K.O.T.A 215

I thought f or a second and gave her 140
Rupees. She took i t swi f tl y.
God has real l y sent an Angel on thi s earth. I m
so happy, she sai d and went back to her work.
I knew the same woul d have happened to
K anta D i di . But she di dnt utter a word. She di dnt
even ask f or her monthl y wage. I knew she woul d
have f el t the same way as I di d, when I got
di squal if i ed i n I I T-JEE. She deserved t hat money.
When I tri ed t o pay on behal f of Shukl a, she
resi sted.
I ts so sweet of you to thi nk about me. But
why woul d you give hi s money? I m gl ad that I
meet students l ike you, she sai d.
I ts hard to f i nd peopl e l i ke K anta D i di i n real
worl d who are happy wi th whatever t hey have. I
was i nspi red by her hard work and was soon goi ng
to become a Spartan i n the worl d of Gurukul .

77
300

January 1, 2006
N ew Year. Ti me to take new resol uti ons. I was
so desperate t o make i t i nto I I Ts- f or my parents,
f or Smi ta and f or everyone who had been wi th me
i n my struggl es. To give a bi tter repl y t o al l my
cri ti cs, I needed to bang an exam j ust l ike Sachi n
Tendul kar who ki cks his cri ti cs wi th a ton.
I took out my wal l et and gl anced at Smi tas
pi cture. I was l ike a sol di er away f rom my home,
f rom my l ady. I ki ssed her cheeks vi rtuall y.
I deserve I I Ts and you but I dont understand
what my probl em actual l y is? I shouted, as i f she
was heari ng me.
I ts now or never. I ts ti me to prove, to
i mprove, I sai d, punchi ng my f i sts on the f ragi l e
study tabl e.
Suddenl y I f ound sl eep to be my f oe. I di dnt
sl eep f or two consecutive nights.
I t seems t hat tube l i ght and you were on f or
48 hours. What happened man? Taki ng JEE spi ri t
to t he zeni th? Audi asked. D o you want Maggi or
somethi ng?
N o t hanks! I j ust need some more ti me, I
repl i ed.
January 9, 2006
Si nce N ew Year I had a t otal ei ght hours of
sl eep i n ei ght days. I had grown l ong hai rs l i ke MS
D honi (I ndi an cri cket team captai n) of 2006. I
l ooked aggressi ve and power packed.

K.O.T.A 217

E xam H all
I had a l ast l ook at t hat pi cture of Smi ta when
bel l rang to commence t he exam. The questi ons
were as usual di f f i cul t.
N ow or never, I was remi nded of my
resol uti on.
I f ocused on the questi ons f or three hours and
bel l agai n rang to put an end to my att empts. The
number of correct attempts i s what mattered to
me and I tri ed t o escape f rom t he assaul ts of more
questi ons put up by my bat chmates l i ke H ow
many di d you at t empt ?
Soon the answers of the test were di splayed on
the noti ce board. Some answers were
controversi al as always. The most di f f i cul t part
was to pen down answers of as many as 240
questi ons. To save ti me, Saahil used to speak
al oud the questi on number and respecti ve answer
rapi dl y. I noted them down matchi ng hi s pace.
That day Saahi l and I were back as a team and
we cal cul ated our scores.
Just 500 marks? Shi t! Saahil excl ai med.
Wow! 300! My best perf ormance as a
repeater, I shouted. Saahi l patted my back.
T wo days later
Resul ts were out. My rank was same as my
score- 300. I t was f ar better than my earl i er rank-
1000. That 300 rank i ndi cated that I was very
l ikel y to crack I I T-JEE. And t hat 300 made me a
Spartan of my Sparta, Gurukul .

78
RD B

Aami rs new f i l m Rang D e Basanti (RD B) has
hi t the screens, Saahi l sai d. We were havi ng Pav
Bhaj i (Maharashtri an f ast f ood) near Seema I ce-
Cream Parl or.
Lets go to Om Ci nepl ex, I proposed.
I m al ways ready f or a cri cket match or a
movi e. Anyway, I need a treat f or your superb
300, Saahi l sai d.
I acqui esced. We then hi red an auto.
The movi e i s based upon some ai r f orce stuf f ,
Saahi l sai d. Ti mes Of I ndia rated i t 4 stars.
Lets see. Aami r (popul ar Bol l ywood actor)
sel dom di sappoi nts. I hope the movi e turns out to
be a bl ockbuster, I sai d.
The auto hal ted near Om Ci nepl ex. A huge
crowd amassed i n f ront of t he ti cket count er
because of three thi ngs-
1) Aami r K han habi tual l y hi ts the screens once
i n a year.
2) I t was Sunday.
3) The movi e got 4 stars i n Movi e Revi ew
Secti on of Ti mes Of I ndi a.
We somehow managed to get two ti ckets.
Women make l i f e of men more mi serabl e when i t
comes to Q busi ness. Femal es usuall y utter one
si mpl e yet peevi sh phrase-E x cuse me and then t hey
surpass mal es and f orm thei r own queue, reduci ng
chances of mal es getti ng the ti ckets.
Fi nall y we were i n SATYAM. Movi e started
wi th the f ol l owi ng li nes-
K.O.T.A 219

A b bhi ji sk a k hoon na k haul a, k hoon nahi n wo
paani hai .
Jo desh k e k aam na aaye, wo bek aar j awaani hai .
(One whose bl ood sti l l doesnt boi l , i ts not
bl ood i ts water i n hi s/ her vei nsthat youth i s
worthl ess whi ch i s of no use to the nati on.)
I was thri l l ed by those pat ri oti c words. The
movi e i ni ti al l y took us f or a ri de i nto D el hi
Uni versi ty where si x f ri ends i ncludi ng Aami r as
D J hel ped Sue who hai l s f rom U.K . to compl ete a
documentary on ext remi st f reedom f i ghters of
I ndi a.
A.R. Rehman rocks, Saahil shouted.
Peopl e wooed and whi stl ed at Paat hshaal a song.
Saahi l started danci ng. H e util ized hi s ti ckets pri ce
by enj oyi ng the movi e to 100%.
I nterval
Ti l l then the movi e di spl ayed the story of a f ew
youngsters who thought that condi ti ons i n I ndi a
woul d never i mprove. Af ter i nterval , R.Madhvan
i n the rol e of Aj ay Rathore, an ai r f orce pi l ot di ed
i n a pl ane crash resul ti ng f rom cheap, def ecti ve
parts used f or i ts const ructi on. Then hi s f ri ends-
D J and team avenged his death.
The awesome part of the movi e was the
compari son made between pre-f reedom and post-
f reedom I ndi a. The f i l m moved me so much that
f or a f ew mi nutes and f or the f i rst ti me, even af ter
the end of the show, I was seri ousl y thi nki ng
about my country.
I thi nk RD B resonates wi th my i deas. We
shoul d change the system, I sai d on our way back,
i n an auto.

Onl y hi gh prof i l e peopl e wi th source can do
so. N ot you, not me. Such thi ngs can happen onl y
i n movi es, Saahi l sai d.
Auto stopped near Saahi l s room. We bot h
deboarded and bi d bye to each other. I started t he
rest of my j ourney on f oot. On my way I saw the
sl um of K ota. Though i t was not f or the f i rst ti me
I was watchi ng a slum but i t was f or the f i rst ti me
I was concerned. I coul dnt di gest the f act that
they were born i n the same way as I di d. Yet I was
f ortunate and they were not.
I wi l l hel p you al l one day.
I was thi nki ng seri ousl y about the message I
brought home f rom RD B.
Koi bhi desh per fect nahi n hota, use per fect banana
padt a hai . (N o country i s perf ect, i t has to be made
perf ect.)
RD B l ai d the f oundati ons of a bi g revoluti on
that was to hi t not j ust K ota but the enti re nati on.
K.O.T.A 221

79
QUOT A H I KE

M orning of M arch 1
I was sti ll l yi ng on my bed thi nki ng about
Smi ta, I I T-JEE and t hose who thought me to be
G ood F or N ot hi ng. The door of my room was
sl ightl y open.
Seri ousl y, nothi ng can ever change i n thi s
country, Saahi l compl ai ned as he entered my
room wi th a newspaper.
What happened? I was sti ll cl uel ess.
SC (Schedul ed Caste), ST (Schedul ed Tri be),
OBC (Other Backward Cl ass) quota to i ncrease
f urther i n presti gi ous I I Ts, I I Ms and AI I MS.
For the f i rst ti me Saahi l s f ace was sol emn.
So t hat means General category students need
to work even harder, I sai d.
I ts a shame that pol i ti ci ans di vi de us thi s way.
We boast t hat I ndi a has I I Ts, great technol ogy
and al l , but we al l are sti ll backward, Saahi l sai d.
H e was ri ght. Most of the pol i ti ci ans had no
concern f or peopl e of any category. They were
venal because of thei r sel f ish moti ves and pl otted
pl ans of garneri ng max votes to retai n t hei r seat
and rob our nati onal i ncome.
Sachi n, Ari hant and Audi too entered my room
to tel l the same news.
Every news channel has now a new spi ce f or
thei r dai l y reci pe, Sachi n sai d.
Theres more bad news f or those repeati ng f or
the second ti me or more. They are not el i gi bl e f or

I I T-JEE f rom now on, Ari hant report ed. H e read
more than j ust the headli nes.
What? Saahi l shouted.
H ow can they do thi s? I asked.
Counsel i ng i s al ready over i n al l the col l eges.
Ri di cul ous! Audi sai d.
N ow AI EEE i s the l ast resort f or these guys,
Sachi n sai d.
Accordi ng to the educati on mi ni ster t hose
who repeat twi ce or more i n a coachi ng cent er
mug up and cl ear I I T-JEE. Lat er they don t f are
wel l i n I I Ts and f ai l . I n short, they occupy seats
meant f or rel ati vel y better f reshers, Ari hant
expl ai ned.
But why now, i n the mi d of the sea f rom
where one cant see any shore? Saahi l questi oned.
Actual l y theres a seri ous probl em wi th our
system, Audi sai d.
And we can do not hi ng to change i t. Because
we dont have the power to do so, Saahil sai d.
H ey! H ave you ever noti ced one pecul i ar
thi ng? I asked, catchi ng al l eyes upon me. We
have entrance exams l i ke I I T-JEE, CAT, AI PMT,
SET, AI EEE. But...
But? Audi ventured.
Theres no SCRE E N I N GS or M AI N S f or
pol i ti ci ans. Theres no presti gi ous i nsti tute f or
pol i ti cs, I sai d.
Sab maa ki pet se seekh ke aate hai . (Al l l earn
f rom thei r mot hers womb.) They dont need any
i nsti tute to l earn corrupti on and di shonesty, Audi
sai d.
K.O.T.A 223

We have the best doct ors, technocrats and
managers i n the worl d, but one of the worst
pol i ti ci ans, Saahi l sai d.
The day our youth starts taki ng acti ve
parti ci pati on i n pol i ti cs, our country woul d
become a superpower. I sai d.
You know I m f rom OBC category. I read
about caste system i n detai l and si nce then I hated
i t, Ari hant sai d, bri ngi ng us back to t he ori gi nal
topi c.
H e then brought bef ore us some f acts that
compl etel y revol uti oni zed our thi nki ng.

80
T H E ULT I M AT E SOLUT I ON

Caste System.
A system that was f l exi bl e and i ni tiall y based
on mutual consent that di vi ded soci ety based on
prof essi on. A system that was present i n Af ri ca
duri ng Aparthei d and at present exi sts onl y i n two
countri es- I ndi a and Malaysi a. Geneti c research
cl ai ms that the genes of Aryans and D ravi di ans
dont di f f er much. I ni ti al l y onl y those who used to
bury dead bodi es were cal l ed backward. But l ater
the sensel ess concept of unt ouchabl es got
i ntroduced that strangl ed human ri ghts. Mahatma
Gandhi i ntroduced the term H ari j an and i t were
D r. B.R. Ambedkar who f ought f or the respect
and ri ghts of t he so cal l ed backwards. I t soon
became a pol i ti cal weapon i n the hands of
pol i ti ci ans to use peopl e agai nst one another and
to l ure them, corrupti ng t he soci ety as a whol e.
I ndi a was a concept on papers and not a nati on of
one voi ce any more. Carryi ng f orward such an
orthodox and outdated system i s a si gn of a
backward nati on.
Ari hant gave a detail ed speech.
We al l are born i n the same way. We al l are
homo sapi ens, I sai d.
You know what the worst thi ng i s. I f ound
some students cel ebrati ng over t he f act t hat t hey
need very l ess marks to cl ear the exams than
General category students. N ow t hei r goal i s not
to achi eve excel l ence or gi ve thei r best but t o j ust
crack the exam usi ng thei r weapon of caste. H ow
K.O.T.A 225

can a nati on ever devel op by such short si ghted
students? Ari hant sai d.
Reservati ons shoul d not be caste based but
need based. Al l are equal at bi rth. Those who l ack
resources shoul d be hel ped si nce chi l dhood. They
shoul d be groomed wel l enough to stand shoulder
to shoul der wi th everyone and on the day of
exam, competi ti on must be between bri l l i ance and
not caste governed, Audi sai d.
Yeah! Educati on must be f ree and compul sory
f or al l under pri vi l eged. Those who were not given
f acil i ti es as of now shoul d sti l l get reservati ons.
But thi s practi ce should be qui ckl y done away wi th
by provi di ng adequate f acil i ti es to al l . A nati on can
never be a superpower i f i t sti l l has 70% of i ts
popul ati on wi thout adequate f acil i ti es, Sachi n
suggested.
I f everyone real l y needs to f oll ow caste
system, make i t f l exi bl e. All students, teachers etc.
are then Brahmi n, al l sol di ers and pol i cemen
K shatri yas, and so on, Saahil sai d.
Or el se make reservati ons everywhere the way
you do i n presti gi ous i nsti tutes. Reservati ons i n
I ndi an cri cket team- f our pl ayers of general
category, three SC, two ST and two OBC, I sai d.
Wheres the quota system when i t comes to
Army? Who wants to get a quota to sacri f i ce l i f e
f or hi s/ her motherl and? Ari hant questi oned.
God, you are l ucky as you are not ascri bed any
caste by the ort hodox peopl e of thi s nati on. At
l east they spared you, Audi sai d.
Sachi n, Audi , Saahil , Ari hant and I were al l of
di f f erent castes but one t hi ng uni ted us- hatred
agai nst Caste System. I di dnt know the caste of

Smi ta. But I knew that Love i s al so bl i nd f or such
a system as Love has no caste.
Cast e no bar . My memori es pul l ed me back to
the Engl i sh class where I read that l i ne of my
matri moni al proposal .
Saahi l sai d that changi ng a system was onl y
possi bl e i n movi es. But he was soon goi ng to be
proved wrong.
K.O.T.A 227

81
YFE

Youth was rewri ti ng hi story. A revol t l i ke the
one i n 1857 resurrected agai n i n 2006, agai nst a
system that di vi ded us on some basi s li ke D i vi de
and rul e pol i cy. A new organi zati on was f ormed by
the agi l e young peopl e of I ndi a under the name-
Youth f or Equali ty (YFE) wi th the f ol l owi ng
bel i ef s-
1) Al l the ci ti zens of a state cannot be equal l y
powerf ul , but they may equal l y be f ree.
2) The worst f orm of i nequali ty i s to make
unequal thi ngs equal .
3) Men are equal ; i t is not bi rth but vi rtue that
makes the di f f erence.
4) The essence of our ef f ort i s to ensure that
every chi l d has an equal opportuni ty, not t o
become equal but to become di f f erent - t o
real i ze whatever uni que potenti al of body,
mi nd and spi ri t he or she possess.
5) When the sun ri ses, i t ri ses f or everyone.
6) Equal ri ghts f or all , speci al pri vi l eges f or none.
7) Equal i ty i s not i n regardi ng dif f erent thi ngs
si mi larl y; equal i ty i s i n regardi ng di f f erent
thi ngs di f f erentl y.
Protests were l aunched i n al l parts of t he
country by youth and the brutal beati ng up of
j uni or doctors and medi cal col l ege students by the
pol i ce at Mumbai i nf uriated the youth even more.


D AT E - M arch 2, 2006
I P Chowk, Kota
Whi l e some students l i ke Sachi n were sti l l
attendi ng cl asses at dif f erent coachi ng centers or
school s, most of t he students were on a bunk,
more appropri atel y on a hunger stri ke. YFE-K ota
branch was l eadi ng i t. Audi , Ari hant, Saahi l , Anki t,
K i shore and I j oi ned hands wi th YFE. Sachi n kept
away f rom the stri ke to avoi d any physi cal mishap
wi th hi m. The crowd compri sed of students f rom
engi neeri ng, medi cal , commerce and other
backgrounds. Gi rl s f rom Wel l en came i n l arge
numbers.
Fi rst Bri ti sh di vi ded us, now these pol i ti ci ans.
K al am Si r! Why are we f orced to use guns i nstead
of pens? Why i s the F ut ur e Of Count r y di vi ded on a
caste basi s? YFE spokesperson addressed that
message to the then Presi dent D r. APJ Abdul
K al am.
The whol e crowd was charged up. We al l hel d
each others hands t o show uni ty amongst al l
castes.
A pol i ce si ren chi med. I saw three pol i ce j eeps
surroundi ng the crowd and then a bi g pol i ce van
came. Pol i cemen i n l arge numbers surrounded us
wi th lathi s (batons) and guns. They then started
pul li ng students out f rom the crowd. I t was
unbel i evabl e to see a reel scene of RD B movi e
turn real . We were then asked to l eave the
gatheri ng peacef ul l y, as i nstructed by the cops. But
we were made of di f f erent stuf f .
We are doi ng a peacef ul protest. Whats the
prob...? ? Saahi l was yet to compl ete when I saw a
l athi hi tti ng hi m on hi s li mbs. Audi and Ari hant
K.O.T.A 229

responded qui ckl y to pi ck up Saahi l whi l e I was
sti l l shocked. And then another l athi l anded on my
head.
I di dnt say a word. Sti l l they hi t me so hard
that I was unconsci ous f or a f ew mi nutes. When I
gathered consci ousness, what I saw was
unbel i evabl e. The chi me of pol i ce si ren was then
repl aced by that of the ambul ance. The whol e
pl ace was li ttered wi th school bags, regi sters, torn
pages, pi eces of cl othes, bl ood spots and many
more unconsci ous bodi es.
I was seethi ng wi th remorse. Tears f el l f rom
my eyes. And agai n I f el l unconsci ous.
Government M edical College H ospital
H ow are you? Sachi n i nqui red. Audi and
Ari hant were f l anki ng hi m. They had mi nor
brui ses.
What are you doi ng here? Go and attend your
cl asses, I shouted at Sachi n.
D on t curse hi m. H e was i n the stri ke at the
end. I t was hi m who got you admi tted here, Saahi l
muttered.
What? Tears f i ll ed my eyes. I thought you
woul d never come.
Anki t and K ishore then entered. They t oo had
i nj uri es.
I m ready to come here every day t o get
dressi ngs by such sexy nurses, K i shore sai d.
Yeah! A bet ter pl ace t han Wel l en l ane, where
at l east gi rl s touch you, Saahil wi nked.
*
N ext day
Tyal Si r cal l ed a meeti ng of all Gurukuli tes.

Who the hel l on earth tol d you to parti ci pate
i n the st ri ke? What i f somethi ng happened to you?
Who was to answer then? he shouted.
Everyones eyes went down. Saahi l was
smi l i ng.
As soon as I came to hear about the stri ke and
Lathi charge, I cal l ed the educati on mi ni ster t o
l ook at the gravi ty of the matt er. Today he has
parti al l y accepted your requests. I knew that
repeaters woul d be al l owed to gi ve the exam and
now we have t he green si gnal . Seats of I I Ts woul d
i ncrease i n the comi ng years to bal ance the quota
hi ke. We have very l ess ti me l ef t. You are my
pearl s and I know you wi ll do wel l . All the best,
Tayal Si r sai d i n a f l ow.
Why not abol i sh t he Caste Syst em al l
together? Saahi l muttered.
Shut up Saahil ! Lets go, I sai d, sheepi shl y.
Twenty mi nutes later.
Wel come to Aaj Tak. H eadli nes of the hour.
Students of K ota f orce educati on mi ni ster t o al l ow
repeaters to gi ve I I T-JEE thi s year and to i ncrease
seats of I I Ts i n the near f uture.
Yes we can! We did i t, Saahi l shouted.
Youth di d i t, I sai d.
Few weeks later
Audi , Sachi n, Ari hant and K i shore opted f or
test centers at thei r home t own and so they l ef t
K ota.
K.O.T.A 231

82
LAST CH AN CE
7 A.M .
9
th
April, 2006
Last chance to crack I I T-JEE and ent er
presti gi ous I I Ts.
You can do i t son, my f ather sai d that l i ne
over the phone to remi nd me of hi s expectati ons.
My rel ati ves were too exci ted. Peopl e who were
j eal ous of my dads success were prayi ng that I
shoul d f ail agai n.
D o or di e! Three l akhs (Three hundred
thousands) competi tors. Three exams- Mat h,
Physi cs and Chemi stry. That ti me I I T-JEE had no
SCRE E N I N GS or M AI N S.
I n the words of educati on mi ni ster-
Thi s ti me CBSE l evel questi ons woul d be
i ncorporated i n I I T-JEE paper i n order to crush
the monopol y of Coachi ng Empi re.
I was expecti ng i t and prepared accordi ngl y.
Al l ready? Anki t asked.
Yeah! I sai d. Whats your center?
Lodhi Publi c School , Anki t sai d.
Mi ne i s St. Johns. All the best, I sai d and
poi nted my thumbs up.
And then we departed i n di f f erent autos
toward our respecti ve desti nati ons. I was agai n i n
Sal i m Bhai s auto. Saahi l di dnt meet us that
morni ng.
When I reached my exam center I was f eel i ng a
bi t tensed. But that pi cture of Smi ta made me
brave. I made some si l ent promi ses to that pi cture
and entered the exam hal l .

10:00 A.M .
Physi cs test commenced. Fl ui d mechani cs i s
real l y tough and I came to know of i t t hat day. I
knew all the concepts but i t was the appl i cati on
that mat tered the most. I was underperf ormi ng
and a bad start can seri ousl y hamper your resul ts.
And then a f i nal bl ow f rom I I T-JEE rui ned i t all .
M ul ti pl e M at ch T he F ol l owi ng. OMG!
Probabi l i ty theory suggested me t hat t he
chance of getti ng i t ri ght was next to i mpossi bl e. I
was then wri ti ng the most hi stori c, scari est and
toughest I I T-JEE paper ever. N o f l ukes coul d
ever work i n such chal l engi ng papers. Even
negati ve marki ng pol i cy was di f f erent f or di f f erent
questi ons.
12:00 P.M .
The OMR and the questi on paper were
snatched away f rom my desk. I prepared my mi nd
to make up i n my Math paper.
1:00 P.M .
Math test commenced. The thi ng that hurt me
the most was that some questi ons were si mil ar to
Exerci se I I of BTH , whi ch I never revi sed. At
room I had sol ved al l those questi ons, but i t took
one hour f or each. The l evel of the paper coul d be
easil y j udged by such f acts. I underperf ormed i n
Math too.
3:00 P.M .
I attempted onl y 70 marks out of 240 marks
bef ore submi tti ng the OMR. My bad perf ormance
conti nued.
4:00 P.M .
K.O.T.A 233

I started my Chemi stry test wi th f ul l vi gor. I
f ound i t hard. I I T-JEE was smi l i ng at me. The
onl y mi stake I di d was that I bel i eved i n educati on
mi ni sters words that exam woul d be easi er.
6:00 P.M .
Chemi stry test was over and so was I I T-JEE. I
was very di sappoi nted as I I T-JEE overpowered
my aggressive nature and the power of my l ove.
Saahi l , who used to be among top f our Gurukul
repeaters, was sad as he too underperf ormed.
Anki t was el ated at hi s excell ent perf ormance.
Saahi l , Anki t and I l ef t K ota the next day. I
di dnt know whether we woul d meet agai n. The
memori es K ota gave me had l i f el ong i mpacts. I
was goi ng to mi ss them badl y.
N agpur
M ay 31, 2006
Resul ts of I I T-JEE decl ared. I got a speedy
resul t as a resul t of the broadband i nternet
connecti on at my home.
SORRY. T H I S ROLL N UM BE R D I D
N OT QUALI FY.
That ti me even D ad was cryi ng wi th me. I t was
agai n Math whi ch stopped my I I T-JEE dream
run. Saahil , Arpi t and Sachi n got qual i f i ed. Audi ,
Ari hant, K i shore, Ravi and Shukl a were
di sappoi nted l ike me.
Peopl e grabbed the opportuni ty to put me
down. I was no l ess than an untouchabl e. I knew
then that onl y si x hours of I I T-JEE can make you
a H ero or a Z ero. To curse God was of no use as
She al ready bl essed me wi th wonderf ul f ai lures. I
surrendered mysel f to desti ny that pl ayed a new
game wi th me.

13+ + Class Series
83
VALE N T I N ES-1

JSSATE N oi da.
The best pri vate engi neeri ng col l ege of Uttar
Pradesh. D esti ny made me reach a pl ace much
cl oser to Smi tas col l ege than I ever t hought. I was
then at my Mausi s (mothers si ster) home i n
wi nter vacati ons. The vacati ons were endi ng when
I f i nal l y made up my mi nd to do somethi ng.
Mausi , I cant l ive wi thout her, I sai d.
D oes she l ove you too? Mausi asked. I tol d
my story to her l ong back, sti ll she was skepti cal .
I di dnt wi sh to i ndul ge i n the ti resome process
of pl ucki ng the petal s of an unf ortunate f l ower to
deci de-
She l oves me, she l oves me not !
N ot 100% sure, I sai d.
So you arent sure? Mausi taunted. D oes she
have a boyf ri end?
Mausi asked the scari est questi on f or any one
si ded l over. I shook my head to show the hei ght
of opti mi sm.
She must not have any boyfr i end.
I have many spy agenci es- my f ri ends.
Accordi ng to thei r updates she i snt seen dati ng
anyone.
Y ou ar e a ver y good boy. I t s al l i nfat uati on.
H er words ref l ected that she had no boyf ri end.
So what are you pl anni ng to do? Mausi
asked. I was always f orced to swi m i n the stream
K.O.T.A 235

of questi ons whether i n I I T-JEE, AI EEE or real
l i f e.
I thi nk I have very l ess ti me and so..., I sai d
and paused.
So? Mausi asked exci tedl y.
So I shoul d propose her on t hi s Val enti nes, I
sai d.
Are you so sure that she woul d accept your
proposal ?
I don t care whet her she accepts i t or not. But
I m getti ng posi ti ve vi bes. She taught me the ri ght
def i ni ti on of real l ove.
D o you know where shes at present?
H BTI K anpur (best government col l ege of
Uttar Pradesh), I repl i ed.
13
th
Feb, 2007
We boarded at N ew D el hi Stati on i n Gomti ,
the popul ar trai n between N ew D el hi and
Lucknow. I t was horri bl y crowded. The pecul i ar
thi ng about Gomti i s i ts Chai r Car f acil i ty. Si nce
the j ourney i s of a f ew hours i ts a novel way by
whi ch more persons can be accommodated i n a
si ngl e bogey. Sl eeper bogey has 72 seats but i n
Chai r Car there are 36 more seats. Even more
persons were accommodated as the trai n bel onged
to a nati on that breat hes adj ustment i n every wal k
of l i f e. The worst case unmasks i ts ugl y f ace when
the passengers who got reserved ti ckets i n thei r
hands f i nd themsel ves i n General Cl ass bogey
i nstead of Chai r Car due to rush.
Where are you goi ng Beta (Son)? Lucknow?
an ol d l ady si tti ng i n f ront of me asked. I hate
such wil d guesses. Frame a questi on and then
answer i t yoursel f .

We are goi ng to K anpur, Mausi sai d. And
then the most predi ctabl e thi ng happened.
They started gossi pi ng. Women wil l be
women.
My two sons passed out f rom I I T K anpur. My
el der son was i n i ts f i rst batch, Aunti e sai d wi th
pri de.
Tal ks make j ourneys smal l , especiall y when
two such women tal k at l ength. We didnt real i ze
that we had been ei ght hours i nsi de the trai n,
whi ch was runni ng two hours l ate.
I pref erred trai ns over buses because of the
toi l et f aci li ty. Graf f i ti wri ti ng i nsi de those toi l ets
consi sti ng of the most i nnovati ve and creati ve
thoughts and f igures cant be f ound anywhere el se.
K anpur arri ved. I ts ti me to deboard. Can you
pl ease hel p me wi th my l uggage? Just two ai rbags,
Aunti e humbl y requested.
Sure! I repl i ed.
Mausi carri ed our onl y sui tcase. When Aunti e
was about to l eave, I tradi ti onall y touched her f eet
f or bl essi ngs.
God bl ess you wi th great success.
G od Bl ess me wi t h Smi t a.
K.O.T.A 237

84
VALE N T I N ES-2
I checked i nt o a hotel on Mal road, about one
km away f rom the rai l way stati on.
I n I ndi a, theres a partnershi p between t he
hotel management and the auto dri vers. I f you
i nqui re about economi cal hotel s f rom an auto
dri ver, he wi l l suggest you the name of hotel s that
are payi ng hi m some commi ssi on f or t hat very
suggesti on.
Everyone was f i nal l y happy over the deal - the
hotel management, auto dri ver and we.
We woke up at 5:30 A.M., the next day.
V al enti ne s day. I t was no l ess than a H oli or
D i wal i f or me.
Wi nters are chi l l y i n K anpur. The temperature
was about f our degree C. The ci ty was cl ad i n a
whi te dress of f og. Cl ouds chal l enged suns
supremacy by compl etel y f i l l i ng the sky. Monkey
caps were adorned by l ocal i tes. We got ready f or
mi ssi on H BTI .
I was tryi ng to be styl i sh and wore ti ght j eans
and a coll ar T-Shi rt that coul dnt protect me f rom
the col d weather. But t he f i re of l ove that
persi sted wi thi n, acted as a heater f or me. I wasnt
f eel i ng col d at al l . We were then i n a tempo.
I have a surpri se f or you, Mausi sai d.
Reall y? Whats that?
She took out a toy tray i n whi ch a man and a
woman were i n a ball dance pose. At the bott om
of i t was wri tten-
I L OV E Y OU !

I ts beauti f ul . But when di d you, I sai d and
paused. I saw Mausi taki ng out two roses f rom her
purse.
The perf ect t hi ng f or your l ove on a day li ke
that.
Soon I was near Smi ta wi th those roses i n my
hands. I knel t down on my knees to propose her
and of f ered her the roses.
Are you seri ous? I thi nk i ts i nf atuati on, she
repl i ed to my proposal .
I nf atuati on cant l ast f or three years. Al l I
know i s that I l ove you. D o you l ove, I sai d
and paused.
She took one rose f rom my hand.
Every gi rl dreams of a boy who l oves her l i ke
crazy. And I m f ortunate t o have one such. And I
l ove that stupi d, she sai d. K eep one rose f rom
my si de as a token of my l ove.
Unbel i evabl e! She accepted my proposal ! I was
j umpi ng i n el ati on when al l of a sudden I real i zed
that i t was t he vi brati ng tempo that was hoppi ng
on i ts f ront ti re.
The tempo dropped us near Agri cul tural
Col l ege. I t was just the begi nni ng of a marathon
walk. We googl ed f or a sweets shop t o buy some
sweets f or sweet Smi ta and her f ri ends.
Fortunatel y, we got one and we al so had our
breakf ast there.
We then started our march past t o H BTI . I
saw heal th consci ous peopl e j oggi ng. Some of
them were on thei r morni ng walk. Most of them
were septuagenarian. As we were marchi ng ahead,
the green ambi ence f ul l of l arge and smal l trees,
made the breeze even cool er.
K.O.T.A 239

85
VALE N T I N ES-3

D o you know Smi ta? I asked a beauti f ul gi rl
on my way. She nodded.
She resi des i n the gi rl s hostel all otted to t he
f i rst year. But i ts f ar. Col l ege woul d open by 10
A.M. You can meet her then, she repl i ed.
My watch showed 8:30 A.M. I was desperate
to meet her. To propose her i n the col l ege wasnt
a good i dea. Gi rls hostel sounded romanti c. I have
al ready bunked my cl asses and was i n no mood t o
get i nto another col l ege.
Actual l y I m i n a bi t hurry as I have come
f rom a f ar of f place, I sai d. Can you l end me her
address?
Fi rst reach Chi di yaghar (aviary) and then you
can ask anyone there, she sai d.
Thanks Beta (chi l d)! Mausi sai d.
I passed a smi l e to that gi rl and then we i nched
toward Chi di yaghar . I had never gone to my own
col l eges gi rl s hostel . But ti me made me reach
H BTI s gi rl s hostel .
On our way we met another gi rl . Short, dusky
and beauti f ul .
I came to hear that you are l ooki ng f or Smi ta.
H i ! I m her cl assmate. My name i s Snehi ta. D o
you want her contact number?
What? My j aw dropped down.
Boys usuall y crave to get thei r crushs number.
But when I was getti ng oneFREE, FREE,
FREE, I di dnt f eed i t i n my phonebook. I passed
the f avor to Mausi . Snehi ta gave her mobi l e

number too, i n case of emergency. And then we
bi d bye to each other.
For a l ong ti me we were travel i ng. I was an
athl ete but Mausi wasnt. Femal es general l y have
l esser physi cal strength than mal es. Af ter wal ki ng
f or three ki l ometers on f oot, Mausi l ooked at me
wi th a stern glare.
There are no cycl e ri ckshaws nearby. Look
Mausi ! Thi s i s our l ast chance. We are doi ng t hi s
f or Smi ta. She must know the t ruth that I l ove her
and i ts no mere i nf atuati on.
Mausi nodded. We soon reached Chi di yaghar .
The weather was cool and the serene greenery
made the j ourney pl easant f or us. Government
col l eges usual l y have a good plantati on that
absorbs sound and greenhouse gases to make t he
envi ronment pure and pol luti on f ree.
We f i nall y managed to reach t he covet ous gi rl s
hostel . These are usual l y busy pl aces. Gi rl phi ll i c
boys on bi kes roam about wi th a hope t hat t hey
woul d f i nd sexy gi rls. But there, i t stood l i ke a
si l ent vil l a.
I had t hat memento, my di ary i n whi ch I had
wri tten poems dedi cated to Smi ta and al l her
pi ctures i n a paper bag. I pl anned that I l l ask her
to accept my proposal . I f she rej ects, I l l handover
al l those thi ngs to her.
I saw a securi ty personnel si tti ng outside. Guys
envy those securi ty guards who have the f ortune
of l ooki ng at gi rl s, every ti me they enter and l eave.
I was supposed to make an entry i n the regi ster
meant f or guests. Everyone t hought me t o be her
rel ati ve.
I s Smi ta there? I asked one of the gi rl s.
K.O.T.A 241

Wai t a mi nute. You can si t on thi s Charpai
(cot ), she said.
Smi ta..., she shouted. Smi ta was a treasure f or
me and so the event was a treasure hunt. Al l the
gi rl s were googli ng her. My eyes too di d.
Then I saw a beauti f ul gi rl dryi ng her beauti f ul
l ong hai rs wi th a towel . She was Smi ta. She l ooked
l ike a beauti f ul queen. I thought to run away. But
the power of my l ove stopped me. She came out.
Mausi and I stood up as i f f or a standi ng ovati on.
Smi ta. MeAkash, I stammered.
I dont recogni ze you. Whats the matter?
W hat? She doesn t even k now me? She woul d k i l l me
i f she comes t o k now my purpose.
I would have sung-
T une muj he pehchaana nahi n,
Jaana mai n k oi anj aana nahi n
(You di dnt recogni ze me, I am no stranger.)
I was i n your batch and.., I el aborated.
Be preci se and cl ear, she i nterrupted.
I was l osi ng conf i dence but I knew i t was then
or never.
I have somethi ng that I want to return. A f ew
photos and thi s di ary, I sai d.
H ey! Thats my phot o. H ow di d you get that?
she asked, af ter l ooki ng at those photos.
She l ooked so beauti f ul that I was struggl i ng
hard to say those three magi cal words.
Pl ease accept thi s box of sweets, Mausi sai d.
Smi ta took i t unwi ll i ngl y.
Who tol d you that I m i n H BTI ? she asked
wi th an unf ri endl y l ook.
My col l ege f ri end Abhi j eet met you duri ng
UPSEE counsel i ng. H e tol d me that you are here.

86
VALE N T I N ES-4

D o you have any i dea that I m al ready
engaged, Smi ta sai d.
I coul dnt bel i eve i t. Engaged?
Si nce when? I asked.
Si nce 11
th
grade and my whol e f ami l y knows
about i t, she sai d. So what do you want?
Fri endshi p?
11
th
? Shi t! I 12
th
Fri endshi p? Yes, of
course!
She doesn t k now me? Whom was she l yi ng to?
I coul d barel y di gest that f act. I t was the worst
moment of my l i f e. Even f ail ure i n I I T-JEE was
l ess sti ngi ng than that f act. That was T H E E N D
of my Choti Si (Shor t ) L ove St or y.
I kept the roses back i nsi de my bag and I
LOVE YOU back i nside my voi ce box.
I have to l eave now. I ts col l ege ti me. You can
meet me af ter 5:00 P.M., she sai d.
I ts a great i dea. Okay, I sai d.
Then she j oi ned her hostel mates i n an auto.
The dri ver was a lucky guy as he coul d roam a f ew
kil ometers wi th hot gi rl s. But I was hapl ess and
hopel ess.
Smi ta was then busy wi th her mobi l e. I was
gapi ng at her but she wasnt l ooki ng at me. Love
sucks! I shook my head i n di sbel i ef .
We were back i n the hotel . There was a pi n
drop si l ence. A si l ence prevai ls both bef ore t he
arri val of a storm and af ter i t passes by.
Lets pack up. I ts al l over, Mausi said.
K.O.T.A 243

Wai t! I f I go back li ke thi s, I woul d never be a
l esson f or others. I need to do somethi ng, I sai d.
What do you mean?
I tol d Mausi about my pl ans and then agai n we
were of f . We f orgot to have l unch. I bought one
kg of grapes, not to i mpress Smi ta, but because I
thought that af ter the ti ri ng col l ege sessi on she
woul d f eel great to have them.
You want to meet Smi ta, right? Si t back on the
Charpai (cot) and wai t, the securi ty guard sai d.
Many other hostel gi rl s made thei r way i nto the
hostel whi l e we were wai ti ng. Some smi l ed, some
gossi ped and the worst, some glared at me. Then
Smi ta entered and went strai ght to her room. She
came out wi th her f ri end. Mausi of f ered her t he
grapes and I started.
That di ary i s past. Forget about i t. We can be
f ri ends. Why do you l ook so tensed? Cheer up, I
sai d.
There was a drop of tear i n Mausi s eyes to see
me sacri f i ce my l ove f or Smi ta.
Smi ta smi l ed and agai n she f rowned. The most
abstruse equati on on the earth i s-
G I RL S= W H A T A RE T H E Y U PT O?
Fri endshi p i s not f orced. We meet at some
i nstance of l i f e and mutuall y become f ri ends,
Smi ta sai d.
But somet i mes i t s pl anned by H er .
When we were at Gurukul you thought me to
be a coy, I poi nted.
I di dnt have any ti me to f rame someones
i mage whil e bei ng at Gurukul , she sai d.
Lets change the topi c. I s t here any roboti cs
cl ub here? I asked.

I t was a step equi val ent to hi tti ng an axe on
ones own l eg.
D i d you make any robot? she asked.
Yes. But i t didnt f uncti on well , I sai d.
Whom was I l yi ng to? I l ef t t he proj ect i n t he
mi ddl e. I never made a compl ete robot. I t never
f uncti oned.
The whi te board one or el se?
Sorry? What whi te? Yes, t hat one, I sai d, l i ke
a stupi d.
Agai n a sil ence f ol l owed.
D i dnt you repl y t o my emai l s? That questi on
brought me back.
I dont have any emai l i d, she answered.
By mi stake, I got your cel l number. I f you
permi t me, can I cal l you or send you an SMS?
N ot of ten, as a f ri end.
Snehi ta tol d about i t. OkayYou can.., she
repl i ed.
I t grew so dark that Mausi and I thought i t
better to l eave. We bi d bye to Smi ta.
I wal ked cl ose to her.
One l ast questi on, I whispered i n her ears.
Woul d you attend my phone cal l ?
She nodded. She was a bi t surpri sed.
We l ef t f or the hotel and on the next day, we
bi d K anpur a good bye.
K.O.T.A 245

87
VALE N T I N ES-5

Back to my coll ege.
Smi ta was sti ll an ambi guous f igure i n my
mi nd. Was she tel l i ng me the t ruth or was she
avoi di ng me?
But the bi tter trut h was that she rej ected me i n
any case. I f Smi ta had a real boyf ri end then he
woul d have been def i ni tel y hunti ng f or me by
then. I sent an SMS to Smi ta.
H ow are you? I thi nk I m not botheri ng you.
I thought t o cal l Smi ta but ended up cal l i ng
Snehi ta, to ask about Smi tas mood.
H ell o! I greeted.
Whos thi s? Snehi ta asked i n an unf ri endl y
tone.
Akash- the one who met you wi th hi s Mausi a
f ew days back. I guess you remember me now, I
sai d.
H ey! Whoever you are, you wi l l never succeed
i n your i ntenti ons, she sai d.
I was dumbstruck. She was so rude. I was
angry, very angry.
9
th
COL- Y ou t r y t o i mpr ess her but end up doi ng t hi ngs
t hat mak e peopl e cal l you cr azy.
I m not the ki nd of guy you are thi nki ng me to
be. I m not a crazy. I ts not wrong to f al l i n l ove
wi th anyone on t hi s pl anet. I j ust call ed you to ask
about Smi tas mood. Thats i t, I sai d.
I f el t guil ty to hand over her mobi l e number
to a stranger l i ke you. And regardi ng Smi tas
mood, I thi nk shes pretty upset wi th you.

But why? She sai d she woul d talk to me. She
admi tted shes my f ri end. Then whats t he
probl em? I yel l ed. Are you busy now?
I m i n a Mal l , busy i n wi ndow shoppi ng. You
better ask her, she repl i ed. H er voi ce turned
f ri endl y by then.
Ok. Take care. Bye, I said.
Bye.
T hat same evening
A call on my cel l f rom a strange number.
H el l o? I asked. H el l o can be used to greet, ask
or daunt. That ti me I was guessi ng.
Manendra, a strange voi ce repl i ed.
Who?
You better ask i t f rom Abhi j eet who tol d you
about Smi ta. And understand t hi s cl earl y. N o
more cal l s and no more SMS to Smi ta,
Okay! I answered.
I t woul d have been the worst day of your l i f e,
had your Mausi not been there, he sai d.
H e was wrong. I t was actual l y the worst day of
my l i f e. Presence of Mausi di dnt af f ect i t at al l . I
knew who he was. But sti ll I met Abhi j eet i n hi s
room.
Oh! Smi ta had a boyf ri end i n 11
th
grade-
Manendra. H es a good guy. I wasnt sure whether
they are sti ll l overs.
When I f el l i n l ove wi th her, i t was al ready an
anni versary of her l ove wi th someone el se. I n t he
chess of l ove I was check and mate, I sai d and
wondered.
I went strai ght i nto my room and took out my
mobi l e. I call ed back Manendra.
H el l o! he commanded.
K.O.T.A 247

Akash.
Oh!
Abhi j eet tol d me t hat you are a ni ce guy. I m
sorry f or sendi ng SMS t o Smi ta. I regret of what I
di d,
I ts okay.
God bl ess your pai r. I al ways wanted to make
Smi ta happy. But now that you are al ready there
and shes happy, who am I to come i n between?
I ts okay, Akash!
Fi nall y I sai d what was i n my heart. I woul d
have di ed spi ri tual l y i f I woul d not have uttered
those f i nal words.
But I m not sorry f or I l oved Smi ta.
There was a pi n drop si l ence f or a moment.
We wi ll meet some day i n l i f e, Manendra
proposed.
Yeah! For sure, I repl i ed.
End of that call .
End of another chapter f rom my l i f e.

E PI LOGUE -1

H ow can she be so rude?
Tears were on the edge of her eyes when
Varsha sai d that.
God never pl ays di ce. Whatever happens i s f or
good. The very word good has God i n i t, I sai d
wi th a smil e.
I woul d have cursed Smi ta. H ow can you stil l
smi l e? Vi pi n f i nal l y broke hi s si l ence through
those words.
She was never wrong. She was i ni ti al l y my
i nspi rati on and ended up as a l esson. Real i ty i s
wei rder and bi tterer than f i cti on. N obody al ways
gets what he wants. And theres even more. D o
you know the Orkut account of Smi ta was f ake?
And you won t bel i eve i t when you hear the name
of i ts creator, I sai d.
Who? Varsha asked.
Arpi t, wi th whom I started my I I T-JEE
j ourney. H e and hi s f ri end at I I T Powai made that
prof i l e j ust f or f un. Arpi t too had a crush upon
her.
Unbel i evabl e! they both excl ai med.
H er addr ess, phone number and bi rt hdat e wer e not
ment i oned si nce i t was a gi r l s pr ofi l e. I was remi nded of
that l i ne of my story. Actual l y Arpi t never knew
any of that data to f eed.
I knew they bot h were upset because they
expected a happy endi ng, especi al l y i n the chapt er
of l ove. A l l i s wel l t hat ends wel l .
K.O.T.A 249

The di scourse got over when the trai n arri ved
at my desti nati on. Punjabi Uncl e, Bengal i Uncl e
and Varshas mom bi d bye to me.
Al l the best Akash! D ont worry. Gods great.
H ave f ai th i n H er, Varsha said.
Good l uck! Wi sh you a bri ghter f uture, Vi pi n
sai d.
I bi d them a good bye and j umped out of t he
trai n, l andi ng myself on the pl atf orm thi nki ng-
Pi ct ur e A bhi Baak i H ai M er e D ost .
(M ovi e i s yet not over , my fri end.)

E PI LOGUE -2

25 years later
KOT A
(Pretty di f f erent f rom a routi ne j ump of 20
years i n an Ekta K apoors dai l y soap)
So whats the secret behi nd Gurukul s
excel l ent resul ts? What i s i t that makes Gurukul
peerl ess? a reporter asked.
I ts qui te a dif f i cul t questi on. I f i nd a Physi cs
probl em much easi er to sol ve than t o tackl e a
reporters questi on. Jokes apart. Gurukul owes al l
i ts success to i ts bri l l iant students. A day i s not f ar
when 90% of the I I Ti ans woul d be f rom
Gurukul , Physi cs H OD of Gurukul repli ed.
You were honored wi th t he award of the best
teacher of t he nati on. H ow does thi s f act af f ect
your students? H as i t got a maj or rol e to pl ay f or
thi s outstandi ng resul t? another reporter i nqui red.
I m humbl ed by such awards. I was l ucky to
get i t f rom my i dol , D r. APJ Abdul K al am. But
you cant compare a teacher of Physi cs f rom a
teacher of Math, Chemi stry or any other
di sci pli ne. The great t hi ng about Gurukul i s that
everyone here i s the best. D ont f orget Tayal Si r,
RS and AG. They retai ned the crown of the best
teacher f or nearl y 20 years. The whol e credi t of
such awards goes to my students. Gurukul has
revi ved the student-teacher rel ati onshi p and I
hope i t remai ns eternal .
I t was easy f or me, Akash Mal hotra to gi ve a
l ong speech l ike that, bei ng the H OD of Physi cs
department i n Gurukul . The press conf erence got
K.O.T.A 251

over. Those press conf erences were a new trend i n
Gurukul routi ne. I was el ected as the
spokesperson of Gurukul and I knew my j ob wel l .
Government of I ndi a deci ded to honor
teachers al l over I ndi a si nce 2012 so as to boost
them. I t was a mark of respect f or a prof essi on
that creat ed f uture I ndi a. Government al so
establ i shed presti gi ous I ndi an I nsti tutes of Pol i ti cs
(I I P) i n 2020, whi ch trai ned i ndi vi duals i n vari ous
di sci pli nes of pol i ti cs. Exams f or I I Ps were
tougher than t hat f or I AS. I ndi an pol i ti cs was
getti ng better as a resul t. Corrupti on and terrori sm
were al ready done away wi th and I ndi a emerged as
a maj or power of t he worl d i n 2020. D r. K al am
was the happi est man as hi s missi on was
accompl i shed. Caste system was sti ll present to
some extent.
I was drivi ng back home. I bought 1-PA-90
f rom my l andl ord and made my own home there.
My son of a bi t ch nei ghbor passed away i n an
acci dent. K ota was then N ew York of I ndi a.
Skyscrapers f i ll ed i ts sky. Mal ls repl aced the ol d
shops. H eart 2 H eart, Seema I ce-Cream Parl our,
Bi ts N Bytes and Gundeys Modern Vi deo Li brary
were then shi f ted to Mal l s and charged exorbi tant
rates. Mal lik was then part of the gami ng zone of a
Mal l . The ci ty was hi t at ti mes by f l oods. A special
l and was all otted f or pi gs so that ci ty remai ns
cl ean. The peopl e f rom t he sl ums were shi f ted to
better househol ds and thei r chi l dren got f ree
educati on i n Gurukul sponsored school . Tayal Si r,
RS, SP and AG supported my thought of openi ng
such a school . D r. Vi nod was then the Chi ef

Medi cal Of f i cer of Government Medi cal Col l ege
H ospi tal at K ota.
Om Ci nepl ex expanded. Bramha, Vi shnu and
Mahesh were new addi ti ons to erstwhi l e Satyam,
Shi vam and Sundaram. K ota Aerodrome was then
an i nternati onal ai rport. Gurukul became
i nternati onal by then. N RI students came i n l arge
numbers to Gurukul . Many students enrol l ed f or
di stance l earni ng programs. Gurukul also had a
bi g l i brary and ni ght cl asses were a new trend.
There were many more l i brari es i n K ota l ike the
one opened by Jai n Stati oners. Maheshwari
Restaurant and Sangam became competi tors by
openi ng 5 star hotel s. Sangam mess trul y became
i nternati onal by starti ng I tal i an, French and
Russi an specials. Amar Punj abi D haba gai ned
monopol y over f usi on di shes l ike Paratha Pi zzas.
Annapurna restaurant was then a 3 star hotel wi th
l odgi ng f acil i ti es as well . Wheatos also made a
remarkabl e progress. Mesonance had opened
many more centers by t hen. Vi tal cl asses were stil l
the best i n I norgani c.
Saahi l became an I AS of f i cer and f i nal l y got
marri ed to an Austral i an. Johny f ounded a
company that sol d parts to I ndi an N avy.
Pl umbum j oi ned I ndi an Ai r Force. N i l esh, as
expected, was the general manager of a f ood
processi ng company. Anki t j oi ned I SRO to make
nano satel l i tes. Arpi t was the automobi l e tycoon
of I ndi a. PB f ounded a musi c company. LB kept
on changi ng compani es l i ke a true maveri ck ti ll he
settl ed i n a mobi l e manuf acturi ng company. SB
j oi ned Tata Motors. Sachi n became the mi nd
behi nd K ota Metro Rai l Corporati on. Ari hant
K.O.T.A 253

started an N GO agai nst caste system that
supported YFE. Begi was sel ected i n the board of
di rectors team of I ndi an Footbal l Associ ati on, and
I ndi an f ootbal l team was then among top 45 i n
the worl d. N i l esh, K i shore and N aveen j oi ned
I nf osys. Lakshya j oi ned Maruti . Ashi sh was
i nvol ved i n draf ti ng the currency pol i cy of the
nati on. I al ways knew he made the best not es.
Swastik and Sej al were j oi nt owners of an oi l
company. Audi j oi ned D RD O. Ravi was i n
Merchant N avy. I had no knowl edge about
Shukla, Mudi t, Mayank and H emant. K anta D i di
was sti ll a house hel per at my home and I gave her
a handsome pay.
Preet was the onl y one who came back wi th
me to K ota. H e was the H OD of Chemi stry
department i n Gurukul . I never tol d t he reporters
what actuall y was the reason behi nd the success of
our students. Preet and I al ways tol d them what
not to do. They automati cal l y understood what
was to be actuall y done. We gave l essons f rom our
l ives that transf ormed many. Rest was thei r hard
work and good l uck. The good thi ng was that
even our own ki ds made i nto I I Ts.
T wo days later
Preet i ntroduced me t o an unknown f ace. H e
had f eatures si mi l ar to someone I had known f or
l ong. I wasnt abl e to remember that someone.
Meet Mr. Shwetank. H e has got some
probl ems i n Physi cs and Chemi stry. My part i s
done. N ow i ts your turn, Preet said.
Good morni ng Si r! I have some real probl em
i n deali ng wi th Physi cs. Theres so much work

l oad. I m not abl e to f ocus. Pl ease hel p me out,
Shwetank bl urted out.
Whats your f athers name? I asked i n
suspi ci on.
Mr. Manendra Si ngh. H es standi ng at the
recepti on. Shoul d I call hi m too?
Wai t a mi nute! Whats your moms name? My
suspi ci on grew mani f ol ds af ter Shwetanks repl y.
Mrs. Smi ta Si ngh. Shes at home.
Preets j aw dropped down. I was
dumbf ounded.
So Shwet ank i s Smi t a s son! I k new he s no st r anger .
8
th
COL- Y ou t r y t o fi gur e out her charact er i sti cs i n
someone el se.
I want to meet your dad, I demanded.
Shwetank rushed to t he recepti on cent er and
returned wi th a wel l dressed gentl eman who had
an ai r of conf i dence around hi m.
H el l o! Manendra greeted.
D o you remember me? Wow! I cant bel i eve
my eyes. I thought we woul d never meet, I sai d.
H e was a bi t conf used. I knew he di dnt
recogni ze me.
I m t he guy, who met Smi ta at H BTI wi th hi s
Mausi , I cl arif i ed.
Thi s i s unreal . I cant bel i eve i t. Manendra
was shocked. Shwetank was out of thi s. So he
understood the l east of Physi cs and Chemi stry
hi dden behi nd our talks.
I l l take care of your son. H e wi ll def i ni tel y get
through I I T-JEE. I promi se. My f ri end Preet too
woul d hel p.
Preet nodded. H e knew he had to, anyways.
K.O.T.A 255

Thanks a l ot. You are unreal . Even af ter
knowi ng the f act that Shwetank i s my son, how
can you sti ll hel p hi m? You are real l y great!
I ts okay. I m a teacher f i rst and f oremost.
Shwetank is my special student. I smi l ed.
We both shook hands wi th each other and
then we parted of f .

One year later
I I T-JEE had a new pattern. There were two
l evels- an onl i ne SCRE E N I N G and a Personal
I nterview. The f i nal resul ts were decl ared. 60% of
the sel ected candi dates were f rom Gurukul and
80% f rom K ota.
Shwetank made i t i nt o t op 1000. I was happy
f or hi m, f or Manendra and Smi ta. I saw the tri o i n
the f el i ci tati on f uncti on organi zed by Gurukul .
Tayal Si r was very gl ad at the outcome. H e bl essed
me and Preet. Af t er 28 years (approx) I saw Smi ta.
N obody can f orget hi s/ her f i rst l ove. I was happy
that I f ol l owed the l ast COL.
10
th
COL - Y ou wi l l never di ver t your sel f t o a wr ong tur n
whi l e i n t rue l ove.
I was surrounded by reporters al l the way.
Actual l y somethi ng happened t hat year t hat was
hi story. A gi rl topped I I T-JEE. And she was an
ST. She proved everyone wrong because she
topped both l evel s. H er name was Varsha. She
remi nded me of the gi rl I met i n Poorva Express.
Who says caste, gender and reli gi on matters?
N othi ng i s i mpossi bl e. I knew i t by then- Smi ta
was not the Angel who ki ssed and changed my
l i f e. I got Kiss Of T he Angel f rom my angel ,
KOT A.

Glossary

AI EEE Al l I ndi a Engi neeri ng Ent rance Exami nat i on
AI I MS Al l I ndi a I nst i t ut e of Medi cal Sci ences
AI PMT Al l I ndi a Pre Medi cal Test
APQ Addi t i onal Pract i ce Quest i on
ASL Age Sex Locat i on
BF Bl ue Fi l m
BI TS Bi rl a I nst i t ut e of Technol ogy and Sci ence
BTH Beat The H eat
CAT Comput er Adapt i ve Test
CBSE Cent ral Board f or Secondary Educat i on
COL Commandment Of Love
CS Count er St ri ke
D RD O D ef ense Research and D evel opment Organi zat i on
H BTI H arcourt But l er Technol ogi cal I nst i t ut e
H CV H C Ver ma
H OD H ead Of D epart ment
I AS I ndi an Admi ni st rat i ve Servi ces
I CU I nt ensi ve Care Uni t
I I P I ndi an I nst i t ut e of Pol i t i cs
I I T I ndi an I nst i t ut e of Technol ogy
I P I ndraPrast h
I SRO I ndi an Space Research Organi zat i on
I UPAC I nt ernat i onal Uni on of Pure and Appl i ed Chemi st ry
JEE Joi nt Ent rance Exam
JSSATE JSS Academy of Techni cal Educat i on
LOC Li ne Of Cont rol
MCG Maj or Chauhan Ground
MI Mi ssi on I mpossi bl e
N GO N on Government al Organi zat i on
N TU N anyang Technol ogi cal Uni versi t y
OBC Ot her Backward Cl ass
OMR Opt i cal Mar k Recogni t i on
PG Payi ng Guest
RD B Rang D e Basant i
SC Schedul ed Cast e
SET Sci ent i st Ent rance Test
SH M Si mpl e H armoni c Mot i on
SRK ShahRukh K han
ST Schedul ed Tri be
UPSEE Ut t ar Pradesh St at e Ent rance Exam
WTF What The Fuck?
YFE Yout h For Equal i t y

Characters

AG Al ok Gupta
BD Bhawna D i di
PB Praf ull Bhai ya
K G K ishore Gupta
LB Lal lan Bhai ya
RB Raj u Bhai ya
RS Rupal Sunehra
SB Sattu Bhai ya
SP Shail esh Pratham

GURUKUL BAT CH E S (RAN KWI SE )

11
th
CLASS- APRI L BAT CH E S
D 1 to D 5
E1 to E5

11
th
CLASS- JUN E BAT CH E S
F1 to F9

12
th
CLASS
L1 to L4
M1 to M4
N 1 to N 4

RE PE AT E RS (13
th
CLASS)
R1 to R10
S1 to S10

K.O.T.A (Novel On Struggle of IIT Aspirants of India)

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