SLAM BOOK filled by Santa.

1. Strength: My wife, Jeeto.

2. Weakness: Banta's wife, Preeto.
3. Opportunity : When Banta is on tour.
4. Threat: When I am on tour
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Sardar's Son - Papa jaldi-2 mera viya kra deo nahi ta main DAADI nal viya kra la
vanga.
Sardar: Oye tu meri MAA nal viya krayenga.!
Son:- Kyon tussi meri MAA nal ni krayea..
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Sardar was travling in train,
A woman sat on his son's berth & didn't getup...
Sardar shouted:"THIS LADY IS NOT GIVING BIRTH TO MY CHILD !"
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__
Santa: meri biwi mujhe chorr ke chali gayi.
Banta: tu uska khyal nahi rakhta hoga.
Santa arre yaar....sagi behan ki tarah rakhta tha usko!
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_____
Santa goes to hotel & orders Omlette..
Waiter: French or spanish ?
Santa: Jera marji le aa, Main kehra galan karniya ne...
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2 Sardars were watching a beautiful girl.
1st Sardar Kya maal hai yaar..!
2nd Sardar Arey haan. Maal se yaad aya Bhabi ji kaisi hai. . ..?
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Santa Singh sends sms to all his friends...
"My cell no. has changed.. Earlier it was Nokia 1100. Now, it is Nokia 6600."
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NASA ne 3 sardar chaand pe bheje. Rocket uda, magar aadhe raste se vapas aa gaye
!
Jab sardaro ko pucha gaya , toh unhone kaha: 'AAJ AMAWAS HAI, CHAAND TO HOGA HI
NAHI NA'!!
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___________
Santa Yaar, kal main tenu kini waar phone kita par tu nahi chukiya.
Banta Kyon chukkan, jehda main 30 Rupaiye de ke gaana luwaya hai, ohnu tera peo
sunuga. ...
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____________
Santa Yaar maine apni girl friend ko gift dena hai, kya dun ?
Banta Gold ring de de
Santa Koi badi cheez bata
Banta M.R.F ka tyre de de. .
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Santa: Oye tera viah ho gaya?
Banta: Haan.
Santa: Kuri naal?
Banta: Oye munde naal v hunda hai kya?
Santa: Haan, meri behen da hoya si....!

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______________
SARDAR
Beta ye kaisi machis lay kar aaye ho ek bhi nahi jal rahi
SON Kya baat kartay ho pappa sub check kar ke laya hoooon
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Gurdware waleyan ne e elan kita hai k gurdware ch 5,10,20,50,100,500,de note nah
i chadae jaange. . .
.
.
.
.
KyonKi
.
.
.
GANDHI de sir te rumal nahi hai.
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English teacher: "One cute and young girl is walking on the road."
Change this into a punjabi exclamatory sentence.
Sardar student:- "Oye dekh oye
.. MAAL!"
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_________
A donkey kicked sardar & ran away sardar ran to catch the donkey. He saw a zebra
& started beating it & said SALA, tracksuit pehan ke dhoka de raha hai .
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_______________
Sardar declares: .. . . I will never marry in my life&. . ..
I'LL GIVE SAME ADVICE TO MY CHILDREN ALSO. .. . .
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________________
Sardar: Darling, years ago u had a figure like Coke bottle.
Jeeto: Yes darling I still do. Only differnece is earlier it was 300ml now it's
1.5 ltr.
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_________________
Teacher: Make a sentence in which 1 word repeated 4 times
Sardar: Lara Dutta marries Brian Lara and she becomes Lara Lara.
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Santa went to Mysore palace.
Tourist guide Santa ji, plz dont sit there, its Tipu Sultan's chair
Santa - Oye dont worry yaar. I'll get up when he comes.!!
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A Sardar enters shop shouts, Where is my free gift with this oil?
Shopkeeper: Iske Saath koi gift nahin hai bhai saab?
Sardar : Oye ispe likha hai CHOLESTROL FREE.
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One tourist from U.S.A. asked to Sardar: Any great man born in this village?
Sardar - No sir, only small Babies!!!
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Teacher: A for?
Sardar: Apple
Teacher: Jor se bolo?
Sardar: Jai mata di.

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American says: " US mein shaadi E-mail se hoti hai.."
Sardarji says: " Accha , India me to shaadi
Fe-mail se hoti hai...!!!"
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Sardar orders pizza.
Waiter: Sir, shud i cut it into 4 pieces or into 8 pieces?
Sardar: 4 hi karde yaar, 8 khaye nahi jayenge.
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Santa dials a number. A girl receives the call.
Santa: Who r u?
Girl: Seeta.
Santa: Oh sorry Mata Ji. Maine to Chandigarh phone kiya tha, pata nahin yeh Ayod
hya kaise mil gaya !!!
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____________________
Banta: Truck dekhkar tum kaampte kyon ho?
Santa: Ek truck driver meri biwi lekar bhaag gaya tha, har baar lagta hai jaise
usko vapas karne aya hai.
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Sardar sitting on the top of the mountain and studying.
When a person asked what he was doing?
He replied, Oye! higher studies yaar.
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2 sardars were fighting after exam.
Sir: Y r u fighting?
1st Sardar: This fool left the answer sheet blank,
Sir: So what?
1st Sardar: Even I did the same thing.. Now, the examiner will think that we bot
h copied.
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___________________
A sardar learning english introduces his family in the party:
Hi! I am Sardar,
This is my Sardarni,
He is my Kid &
She is my kidney.
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Santa cuts sides of the capsule
before taking it?
Guess why?
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
To avoid the side effects!
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Ultimate answer while changing the job.
Interviewer: Why did you change your last job?
Santa: Because the company shifted and didn't tell me where.

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Santa's wife dies. He is calm, but his wife's lover is crying
furiously....
Finally, Santa consoles him: Don't worry buddy, I will marry again.
**************
One tourist from lace w:st="on">U.S.A.lace> asked to santa singh: Any great man
born in this
village?
Sardar: no sir, only small Babies!!!
======================================
Sardar orders pizza.
Waiter: Sir shud i cut it into 4 pieces or into 8 pieces?
Sardar: 4 hi karde 8 khaye nahi jayenge
====================================== =====
Santa dials a number. A girl receives the call.
Santa: Who r u?
Girl: Seeta here.
Santa: Maine to Chandigarh phone kiya tha, yeh to Ayodhya mil lace w:st="on">gay
alace>
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Ek baar ek budhi aurat ki maut ho gayi.Padoss ki ladies ghar aakar rone lagi," M
ata ji aap kahaan chali gayi , jahaanna dhoop na chhaya , na roti na daal , na b
ijli na pani " Ye sun kar sante ne bante se kaha " Yaar dekhna zara kahin mata j
i mere ghar na chali gayi ho!!!!!!!!!
Dr. to santa - " congrats aap k ghar ladka hua hai." To santa bola,- " Waah! kya
technology hai , biwi hospital mein hai aur ladka ghar hua hai!"
Santa at a bar in New York . Man on his right says,"Johnny Walker single." Man o
n his left says,"Peter Scotch single."
SANTA says,"Santa Singh married!!!!"
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Santa went to battery shop n asked to change battery.
The shopkeeper asked: Exide laga du?
Santa: Dusri side tera baap lagayega kya?>>
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Santa was busy in removing a wheel from auto, Banta asks: Y r u
removing a wheel from lace w:st="on">urlace> auto?
Santa: Can't u read 'Parking for two wheelers only'
************ ********* ********* ****
Santa: Doctor, ye phulon ki mala kis ke liye?
Doctor: Ye mera pehla operation hai, success hua to tumhare liye,
nahi to mere liye.
************ ********* ********* ****
Santa joined NASA. After one month the Americans had to change the
name from
NASA to SATYANASA
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Banta: Yeh chaaku kyon ubaal rahe ho?
Santa: Suicide karne ke liye
Banta: To phir ubalne kui kya zaroorat hai?

Santa: Kahin infection na ho jaaye

************ ********* ********* ****
Santa: Today is Sunday & I wanna njoy, so I bought 3 movie tickets
Jeeto: Why 3?
Santa: For you and your parents
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A man to Santa: Aao ji chess khelein
Santa: Tu chal mein sports shoes pehen kar aaya.
************ ********* ********* ****
At the scene of an accident a man was crying: O God! I have lost my
hand, oh!
Santa: Control yourself. Don't cry. See that man. He has lost his
head. Is he crying?
************ **! ************ ********
Santa was getting bitten by mosquitoes the whole night. He got
irritated... drank Finite & said,
Ab kaato saalon, sab ke sab maroge!
************ ********* ********* ****
Banta: Yaar teri wife ki maut ka bara afsos hua, vaise hua kya tha?
Santa: Goli lagi thi mathe main.
Banta: Bhagwan ka shukar kar ke aankh bach gayi.
************ ********* ********* ****
Santa: tainu Sunny Deol da phone no pata hai...?
Banta: Nahin, kyon ki hoya?
Santa: Yaaar asi Nalka patauna si.
************ ********* ********* ****
Banta: U cheated me.
Shopkeeper: No, I sold a good radio to u.
Banta: Radio label shows Made in lace w:st="on">Japanlace> but radio says This i
s all
India Radio!
************ ********* ********* ****
Tourist: Whose skeleton is that?
Santa: Tipu's skeleton.
Tourist: Who s that smaller skeleton next to it?
Santa: That was Tipu's skeleton when he was child
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Napoleon: There is no such word as 'Impossible' in my dictionary.
Santa: Tho dictionary dekh kar kharidni thi ...!
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Santa: Agar tumhe kuch ho lace w:st="on">gayalace> to mein Pagal ho jaaunga.
Jeeto: Doosri shaadi to nahin karogey?
Santa: Pagal ka kya hai, kuch bhi kar sakta hai
************ ********* ********* ****
Banta: Yeh AUTOMATICALLY kya hota hai?
Santa: Oye tujhe yeh bhi nahin pata, Jab auto mein koi ganji ladki ja
rahi ho to use kehte hain AUTO-ME-TAKLI
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Santa was riding on a horse. He jumped the red light & a cop whistles.
Santa lifts the tail of horse & says: 'Le Karle Number Note'
************ ********* ********* ****
Banta: Oye, tu to Doctor ke paas jaane waala tha, kya hua?
Santa: Yaar kal jaaonga, aaj thodi tabiyat kharab hai.
************ ********* ********* ****

Santa: Itne kam marks? Do thappad marne chahiye.

Pappu: Haan papa, chalo lace w:st="on">mainelace> us saale master ka ghar bhi de
kh rakha
hai.
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Santa's wife, Jeeto, got into a terrible car accident. Her face was burned terri
bly. The doctors couldn't use any skin on her body to graft onto her face for re
constructive surgery.
As a result, Santa offered the skin off his butt for the surgery. She had the su
rgery and was as beautiful after as she was before the surgery.
One night Jeeto and Santa were watching TV when she broke down crying.
"What's the matter?" Santa asked.
Jeeto said "I can't believe you did this for me."
Santa hugged her and replied, "Don't worry about it, I love you, and I'd do anyt
hing for you."
But how will I ever repay you?" she asked.
To which Santa replied, "You don't need to repay me... you wouldn't believe the
satisfaction I get every time I see your mom kiss you on the cheek."
Thanks.
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