Foolish Games

LEAH SPIEGEL

Edited by Pauline Nolet Cover 2011 mypokcik at Shutterstock images This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance of characters to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental. The author holds exclusive rights to this work. Unauthorized duplication is prohibited For information: http://www.leahspiegel.com Copyright 2011 Leah Spiegel All rights reserved.

DEDICATION To my hero, my fiercest protector, my sister, my friendMegan Summers, who accompanied me to my first concert. Really I was just tagging along so she could see Loretta Lynn play, and Ive been tagging along ever since.

So take your place here next to me And Ill take my place there next to thee And no matter how far we my roam Its by your side I will make my home. - Dave Matthews Band

1. FIRST IMPRESSIONS
Her friend is hot. I heard Warren, the bass player, murmur to Hawkins as I tried to pretend I wasnt stuck in the same crammed elevator overhearing the embarrassing conversation about what to do with me. Hawkins, whose body nicely filled out his six foot three frame solidly, was crossing his arms while leaning against the side of the elevator. He glanced over at me for like a nanosecond before he turned his shoulder back and said, You know I prefer blondes. My mouth dropped open in shock before I quickly snapped it shut. Doing a double take, I wondered, who the hell did he think he was? I mean, besides the fact that he was the lead singer of a notoriously famous band. I glared over at him, noticing the way his lip curled like he had smelled something bad, and how the expression seemed to be stuck permanently on his face. It only made matters worse that there wasnt anywhere to safely rest my eyes as I took what had to be the longest elevator ride in the world. If I had continued to look down, Id have a front-row view of Warrens hand squeezing Lizzies butt in her low rise, white, denim jeans. If I looked up Id have a clear view of Warren, who looked like the kind of guy that spent his days surfing and his nights playing in the band, trying to suck my friends face off. Yuck! So my safest view was to look in the direction of Hawkins, who was projecting irritation with every fiber of his being. Dont worry, Hawkins. Lizzie disconnected herself for a second, pushing her platinum blonde hair off her shoulder, and announced, Joies not interested in you either. I blinked a few times in surprise because coming to the rescue of anyone besides herself wasnt exactly Lizzies forte. She has these rules. Lizzie giggled as she stole a glance over her shoulder to smile at me. Ah, that was the Lizzie I knew, I thought grudgingly. I bugged my eyes out at her, sending a telepathic message, Seriously, shut it now! The last thing I wanted was to have my personal rules shared with a rock star who acted as though he thought he was better than me. Surely no one wanted to hear about my rules. I tried to hold on to that notion while I bargained with God that if he could speed up the elevator I would never get myself in this mess again. Rules? Warren asked. I felt my shoulders cave in defeat; seriously, a little help, would it have been too much to ask? Yep, and shes breaking one right now! Lizzie giggled. What rules? Hawkins asked as he stole another glance over in my direction. I would have characterized his blue eyes as sexy or penetrating if they werent narrowed and staring at me menacingly. Blowing a strand of my dark brown hair out of my face, I glared ahead and thought, greatnow hes interested. Lizzie continued excitedly, Yep, she didnt want to come with us but since we made her, she came up with these rules before the summer tour. One of them being that she would not be seen at the same hotel as your band. Lizzie smiled over her shoulder at me once again, but I was beyond pissed. Why? We dont bite. Warren laughed. Unless you like that sort of thing. Because, Lizzie emphasized. Joies not a groupie. Oh, but you are, Warren replied, giving her behind another inappropriate squeeze. Hell, yeah, Im your biggest fan, Lizzie exclaimed with a flirtatious smile. Rubbing the stress out of my forehead I thought, and Im your least favorite fan now. Does anyone care about that? Hawkins looked over at me once more. We have rules, too, he muttered. One being, youre supposed to actually be invited to our hotel suite. Our eyes met for a second and I could tell he was clearly pleased with himself. Hey, I invited them, Warren roared from too much tequila. Dont be a buzz kill, Hawkins. Yeah, Hawkins! Lizzie exclaimed like she actually knew the jerk. Encouraged by Lizzies comment, Warren leaned in to continue their make out session.

I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, and wondered what I was doing on this elevator anyway? Actually, invited or not I knew how I had gotten there. First my father, who I had never really known, passed away and left me a lump sum of moneytoo small to make much money in a savings account, but too large to leave under my bed. The only other things he left me were the keys to his old 1968 Volkswagen Van and years of needed therapy to overcome abandonment issues. Then Riley, my best friend, who at the moment was picking up tomorrows breakfast for us (and who by the way was going to be really pissed when he found out that we met the band without him), landed an amazing position of writing show reviews for The Grimm Brothers Bands website, which included scoring free tickets to attend the entire summer tour. Coincidently Lizzie, who Ive known my whole life because her mother and mine were best friends, was dating the drummer of The Larks, the opening act. That, and the fact that Lizzie wanted to spend her last summer before college doing something memorable, had given her and Riley the idea that they should go around the country together following the bands. I had no intention of going, but did have the money and transportation to take the trip, so they started bugging me to go. I love Riley; Lizzie has always been one of those friends thats fun to have when you want to do something wild and crazy, but the thought of being in a vehicle with them for twenty-four seven sounded scary. I had been successfully holding them off until my mom asked, for what seemed like the seven hundredth time, What are you going to do with your life? or Why havent you enrolled at the local university yet? So as scary as the thought of being cooped up in a van day after day with the same two people might be, especially when one of them was Lizzie, it paled in comparison to my mother when she was motivated. Needless to say, I eventually caved and agreed to come along on the tour. After Riley and I deliberated over the maps, the tour schedule, and our budget; I dropped the cash in my carry-on bag. I grabbed up my vintage camera and mumbled something about getting college credit for a sightseeing trip across the country to my mother before I left the house. Five concerts later, I was in the elevator wonderingwhy lord was I here? I should have been down in the Volkswagen Van, laid out on the cot getting my beauty sleep and wondering what the hell I was going to do with my life. But no, I was here instead of there for two reasons. The first being that someone had to watch Lizzie in case she did something more stupid than when she hiked her shirt up a few minutes ago to get Warrens attention outside the hotel. The second reasonwell, Lizzie needed me here with her. She has never been considered street smart. Case in point, we didnt know these guys. Yeah, they were on the radio every day. Yep, they were famous enough to be on the cover of Rolling Stone Magazine, and yes, they apparently preferred blondes and I know I should get over that, but I obviously havent. But seriously, being famous doesnt automatically come with a great moral compass. So even though it didnt look like Lizzie was going to want my help anytime soon, I would be there for her tomorrow when she did her walk of shame back to my fathers Volkswagen Van. Ding! I was brought out of my thoughts as the elevator doors opened when we reached the bands floor. Warren quickly escorted Lizzie down the hallway to the right, which didnt surprise me, but it did leave me beside Hawkins for a brief moment before he headed out of the elevator in the other direction. His sudden departure caused the bodyguard in the hallway to freak out at the barely eighteen-year-old girl standing in front of him. Whoa, wait, who are you? Hawkins, is she with you? he asked him. Hawkins turned around to look at me again, but before I let him open his mouth I answered for him. No, he prefers blondes, I nodded at the bodyguard, and I prefer someone who knows I could care less. I could tell that Hawkins was momentarily surprised as if it was the first time hed actually laid eyes on me. So Ill just be going now, thanks. I smirked at Hawkins as I pressed the lobby button and the doors closed. A laugh escaped my mouth as I did a little happy dance to celebrate my great verbal jab back at Hawkins, that was until I heard a soft cough behind me. Crap, how many bodyguards were with us? I straightened my back, cleared my throat, and impatiently waited to exit the elevator. The doors swung open and I jetted across the glistening cream tiled floor while never looking back. As I went to exit the hotel, I glanced over at the bar that was filled with fans frantically waiting to catch a glimpse of the notorious, ass-grabbing, blonde-loving, egos so freaking huge they had to pay taxes on them: Grimm Brothers Band. I looked at all the brunettes and sighed. Girls, its just not your night. And thank god for that, I added, pushing the double doors with more force than necessary while feeling the last cool gust of air conditioning. The change in temperature was drastic; the humidity in the air hit me dead in my tracks. I felt my white tank top and light, faded jeans instantly cling to my body. Ugg! It was sure to be another hot, sticky night in the van. I listened to the rhythmic sound of my white flips slapping against the pavement as I mall-walked it over to where I spotted my

to the rhythmic sound of my white flips slapping against the pavement as I mall-walked it over to where I spotted my van. My Volkswagen Van was from the sixties and was painted a pale blue color on the body with white on the top. I know driving an RV or even a minivan where the air conditioner worked would have been more comfortable, but my van was free, and because it reminded me of my childhood, there was some nostalgic value to it. Approaching the tiny space between the van and the car next to it, I wondered, man could this parking lot be any more packed? I pulled back the big awkward door of the van as it creaked and squealed in protest. I hopped up onto the mostly-covered, black vinyl seats. Mostly because the seat was worn so thin that the cover had split down the middle, allowing stuffing to peak out. So how did it go? Riley asked from the passenger side seat when I carefully shut the door behind me. I reached my hand across and lovingly ruffled his sandy blonde hair. You, my friend, missed out. What? Wheres Lizzie? While you were at Donut Connection buying our breakfast for tomorrow, The Grimm Brothers Band showed up. Shut up! No way. Riley dropped his mouth open in shock. Way, I sighed while looking out the rearview mirror at the flash of cars circling the parking lot. I guess it was no secret to a few people that the band was here tonight. Lizzie? She managed, I bugged my eyes out, to catch one of the band members attention. That hooch! Which one? I braced the steering wheel while giving him my most sympathetic look and admitted, Warren. Ah, no! No! Riley was clearly devastated. Wait, what about Ryan? Hes just the opening act. I shrugged. The Grimm Brothers Band is the show. Not that Hawkins would ever let anyone ever forget that. Riley digested the surprising news while we sat in silence. Trust me, I yawned, crawling into the back where we kept a cot, when I say you are better off. What do you mean? he asked. Its not worth repeating. Or reliving, I thought, glancing up at the metal skeleton of the van as I laid down. I tossed the thin plaid sheet on the cot to the side since it was too hot for that tonight. How can you sleep? Riley asked me. I want to hear all the details when Lizzie gets back. Im sure in about, oh, I looked down at my imaginary wrist watch, three minutes you will. I laughed as I pulled the pillow under my head and closed my eyes. Blondes, ha! I woke up early the next morning since we needed to be on the road quickly to make it to the next show. Granted, I knew the band was still asleep in their expensive suites or were dabbling on the internet in their plush robes. Ugg, the band! I was slowly remembering last nights hellish elevator ride. Hawkins from four rows back at a concert was charismatic. Though after watching the casual sneer he directed at me in the elevator, I was a wee bit more resentful to be following them around today. None the less, we werent actually with the band. We were the crazy, hippie-living, at times bottom-dwelling, young groupies who helped pay for their pampered time in that big ole fancy hotel that was looming over our beat up van. I opened up the van door and got out to stretch. I looked around at the packed parking lot full of fans and was surprised that I still had yet to see Lizzie strut across the parking lot. I refocused my attention back to the noisy crowd. If only I could get a few of these girls alone with Hawkins in an elevator, I could diminish the size of the crowd by half. Cutting out half the chatter could do wonders for my migraine. I might not even need the three aspirins I was shoving in my mouth at the moment. I noticed Riley when he came out of the hotel. He was already on his second attempt to print off the MapQuest directions from the hotels internet for our next adventure. He complained that he couldnt be expected to look up all the directions on his laptop because hed be too busy writing his reviews, but I didnt buy a word of it. Surveillance was tight because of who the hotel was housing at the moment, and judging by his expression, I guessed he didnt succeed in meeting anyone from the band. A few girls turned to look in his direction, which Riley was oblivious to, and I smiled to myself. He was ripped like a Calvin Klein model and he had a face to match it. Riley was hot. Hell, half the time I had to stop myself from looking at him. Did you get it? I asked, trying to be optimistic as I pulled my hair up into a sloppy ponytail. Yeah, he uttered with pure dejection while opening the passengers side door. Heres the MapQuest. Stunned but relieved, I grabbed the paper and mumbled, Thank you. I looked over the itinerary for the day. Sometimes I thought driving was the only sane thing we were doing on this trip which for no good reason reminded

Sometimes I thought driving was the only sane thing we were doing on this trip which for no good reason reminded me. Where is Lizzie? Probably still hooking up with Warren, he said in the same small, pathetic voice. Are you okay? Thank you, for finally noticing, he implied with a mocking edge. Whats up? I tried to get on the elevator, he confessed. After I MapQuested, but not before I got you your bagel. He passed me the bagel before he turned to slump in the open seat. What happened? I asked while devouring the bagel since the donuts didnt make it through the night. It wasnt pretty, he sighed. They escorted me out. Ouch. Yeah, well, at least no one in the band saw it, he recalled brightly. But you know who did? Yeah, half the crew and almost the entire staff of the hotel; Im sure of it. Three bodyguards, and almost, he paused with a fake smile, the fine police officers of whatever county my miserable ass is residing in at the moment. Good times. I nodded. Good times. He nodded back. I swung open the side door and grabbed a jug of water while listening to Riley ramble off a few more probable witnesses. I propped open the back where the engine was located while he continued telling me the vivid account of his story. Gosh, he was band crazy. Maybe it would have been better if Riley hadnt missed that elevator ride last night with Hawkins. Then he would have used all this wasted fixation and attention on something more constructive like helping me take care of the van. I knew it did wonders for me when I was trying to block out unpleasant thoughts like being in this parking lot. But, as things were now, Riley and Lizzie just assumed this old van would miraculously endure the road like it was a Hummer or something. As if the van could make it on their sheer will and determination alone to follow the band around to every corner of the country. Hunching down near the back, I twirled off the cap to the radiator. Tilting the jug, I carefully poured in the water until it was filled. I twirled the cap back on and proceeded to check the oil when I heard a small gasp from Riley before the fans started screaming around the parking lot. I wiped the sweat off my brow before I turned to ask, What is it? Riley pointed frantically over at the long, sleek tour bus that the band was slowly crossing over to from the hotel. A few bodyguards were positioned around the sidewalk to keep the fans at bay. I looked for Lizzie among the crowd, but my eyes were drawn to the only person staring back at me. I hardly recognized J.T. Hawkins without the sneer across his face. I noticed he was the only person who was seemingly unfazed by the cheering crowd around him as well. I quickly took in his dark, disheveled hair, unshaven face, and pursed lips while he took a sip of his coffee. Yet what I noticed most were those penetrating blue eyes that had not moved off of me. Me, as in the only person that was seemingly unimpressed by his mere presence. The only one who was dressed in a white wife-beater, rolled up pink sweats, and a pony tail that was tilted off my head. Good times. I sighed as I curled my lip and fixed him with the most vicious glare in my arsenal of deadly looks. He seemed only amused by my behavior as he suppressed a smile, not insulted like I had hoped for. Note to self: must work on my deadly looks. Realizing that Riley had stopped talking, I looked over at him. Riley seemed to have noticed the nonverbal exchange between the two of us before I slammed the hutch shut and looked away. I busied myself with wiping the oil off my hands with an old rag. Why is J.T. Hawkins looking at you like youre the morning special? Riley gawked. I dont know. I sighed as I continued to look away from the bus. Last time I checked, he only preferred blondes. Really!? Riley ran a hand threw his sun kissed hair absentmindedly. Oh, my god! I have to get his autograph! He frantically grabbed up a black sharpie from the dashboard and the MapQuest sheets from my seat. Wait, not the directions! I yelled after him as he ran like a freaking girl over to the crowd. Crossing my arms, I glared over at the McDonalds across the street, ignoring the end of the world worthy pandemonium that was right there in front of me. I waited for the sleek tour bus to leave, noticing that a few fans were actually running behind it. Seriously, it was their own stupidity if they got hit. I saw Riley break from the crowd to run over to me. Waving the once perfectly clear, crisp MapQuest sheets over his head manically, he announced, I got J.T. Hawkins signature! I grabbed the sheets and looked them over. Wonderful, I sighed. Now I cant see what exit to take. What is wrong with you?! He grabbed the sheets back from me while jumping up and down. He chose me!

What do you mean he chose you, you dancing nancy? Wel,l I walked over there, he announced dreamily. You walked? I questioned. Whatever, stop interrupting or you wont be invited to the wedding. Anyway as I was saying, I quickly walked over. Ah, huh. I humored him while he replayed the details of the story to his liking since I could still remember his shoes kicking his ass because he was running so fast. And he reached out for my paper while completely ignoring the other fans in front of me. He grinned from ear to ear. He chose me! Oh, I got it now. I nodded. Youre just so smoking HOT, Riley chimed in as we both laughed. Well, lookie here. Riley let out a low whistle and I glanced over to see Lizzie strut her stuff across the parking lot. She made Gisele Bndchen look like an inexperienced debutant in comparison. Well, hello, yall little people. She flashed her dazzling smile before she slinked past me into the open door of the van and laid down on the cot. Oh, god, Im so tired. Wake me up when we get there, she moaned. Oh, I know, Riley nodded as he shut the van door, being a ho is such hard work. Thats right, Riley, Im so good at what I do, Lizzie gloated. I should get paid for it. I wish you would then you could stop mooching off of us, I joked as I got in the drivers seat and closed the door. I looked over the directions covered in dark sharpie while shaking my head. I waited for Riley, my co-pilot on this derailed train wreck, to fasten his seat belt beside me. He grabbed the directions from my hands to cradle them again. I shifted the van into gear and pulled out of the parking lot. Im so glad were finally leaving, I muttered under my breath. Youre just upset. Lizzie giggled. Rules, hee hee. Why dont you just do what you do best, Lizzie, I sighed, and lay back down. Whats this? Riley asked. Oh no, could we please not go over the nightmarish elevator ride again. J.T. Hawkins is pretty full of himself, isnt he? Lizzie winked at me through the rearview mirror. Rolling my eyes, I exclaimed, Thanks for throwing me under the bus last night! Geez, I was just kidding. When are you going to live a little? Whats this about Hawkins? Riley asked. Oh, right. Lizzie smiled. Its a match made in heaven. She waved her hand across the sky from below. They both seem to share the same lovely outlook on life. Id say thank you, if you were anyone else, I added. Think they both know it all Just the stuff that matters. I sighed. And heres the real clincher, Lizzie whispered to Riley, but still loud enough for me to hear. Theyre both not getting any. J.T. Hawkins isnt getting laid? Riley asked in horror. Well, not last night from what I could tell. Even though Joie was with me in the elevator Lizzie drifted off. He turned you down? Riley gasped. Oh, god, I groaned while looking out at the highway. How many more miles? He turned her down? Riley turned in his seat to ask Lizzie. Are we there yet? I continued to have a conversation with myself. Shit, you dont think hes batting for Rileys team, do you? Lizzie contemplated. Do you?! Riley turned to ask me enthusiastically. I dont know? Why are you asking me? Im clearly not good enough for him, though its not like I asked or anything. Pushing the focus off me for once, I added, And besides, whatever happened to Ryan? Oh, hes still on the tour, Lizzie said lightly. Yeah, that was the point. Riley laughed. Im moving up to the big leagues, guys. She examined her nails with not a care in the world. Oh, listen. Lizzie crawled forward to turn up the radio dial. Its them on the radio! Soon the van was filled with music by The Grimm Brothers as Riley serenaded the two of us far beyond the city limits. We followed the song up with their debuting album that catapulted the band into the lime light a few years

ago. Lizzie danced in the back as Riley pecked away on his laptop writing what was supposed to be last nights concert review for the Grimm Brothers official website (the only legitimate reason any of us had for following the band around) but out of the corner of my eye it looked like he was just surfing the web. I gazed out at the Appalachian Mountains which jetted up on either side of the faded gray highway. Though I was on autopilot most of the time, the drive was a bit trickier than I would have liked. But by now I had become used to the cars that were steadily passing us by as we went up each hill because the van only went one speed: slow. It wasnt long before Riley looked up from his computer and sighed heavily. I know, I groaned. This van doesnt like steep inclines whether theyre up or down. What? I didnt notice, I was trying to type this review. Oh, right, note to self, I said sarcastically. Next time were about to die Ill just yell, hey guys, hear that noise? Thats the brakes screeching and thinking about giving up! Sorry, Joie, Im just freaking out because I cant remember that much of the show. Do either of you remember anything past the first three songs? He glanced back and forth between us. Sure cant. Lizzie smirked. Turning to look at him, I asked, What do you need? Oh, just a review of the show, he replied brightly. All I can remember is the lighting. What were you smoking? Lizzie snickered. Nothing, he emphasized. Its only because Rob Harlow is a master at what he does on the lighting crew. Rob who? Lizzie asked. Harlow hello? Riley fixed her with a look. Anyways, Ive already been told once to keep my lighting reviews to a minimum. He rolled his eyes. Im thoroughly embarrassed to admit that the music felt like a blur in comparison. Ah, someones got a little crush, Lizzie taunted. Shut it, Riley responded, but blushed. Okay, here it goes, I announced. Hawkins strutted across the stage. He doesnt strut, Riley interrupted me. Oh, yeah he does. Lizzie spoke up. He just oozes arrogance. Do you want a review or not? I asked. Okay, okay. He caved. Where was I? I thought out loud, knowing that none of it was going to be useable, but definitely therapeutic for me. Hawkins strutted across the stage, I continued. He devoured the cheers of the crowd like a drug as he slung his black Gibson over his shoulder. He cocked his head back once more at the audience and the rest of the band took their places. The tension was building in the crowd; it had started at his arrival on the stage and grew with their anticipation for the show to start. Hawkins nodded to, umm, whats the drummers name again? I turned to Riley. Blakely! they both shouted while seemingly captivated with my version of the night. Right, Hawkins nodded to Blakely, but all that could be heard was the thunderous screams of the crowd. It was only when Hawkins attacked that first chord, with a strike so loud and hard, that the lights came up. I felt a jolt in my bones as the music erupted around us. Wait a minute, wait a minute, Riley interrupted. Jolt in my bones?! He snickered. You seriously want me to write that? Yeah, why? You know like jumping into cool, crisp water on a hot, steamy day. All righty then. He was snickering as he typed. I felt a jolt in my bones. I continued, The music was flawless, every note was hit with exact precision. It was the work of a well-oiled machine; one could hardly believe that they were just men. And neither can they, I added dryly. Ha! Youre just sore because he dissed you. Lizzie laughed. Anyway, as the night continued, Hawkins was like the captain of a ship that was rocking back and forth on a stormy sea. The crowd was like a wave of swaying bodies and faces. He taunted the raging sea with a jump in the air, guitar flailing over his head, before landing in a crouched position. And at the mention of this Riley busted out laughing. What now? I asked accusingly. Girl, what were you smoking? Do you want a review or not? No, no, noI want a review. He smiled happily. Anyway, Hawkins strutted across the stage, I repeated.

Anyway, Hawkins strutted across the stage, I repeated. Oh, not this again! Riley laughed. Its what I remembered most, I said in my defense. You wanted my review, remember? Hawkins strutted across, Riley quoted as he typed, the stage. With guitar in hand, I added. Behind him, Blakely was pounding his drumsticks left and right. He was playing the drums like a prodigy, but reminding every boy in the crowd that this was a mans job. It was coming to a close as Hawkins took one last hit of his drug of choice as his eyes swept across the crowd one last time. Then with the stroke of his hand on that last chord, the last slamming pain that Hawkins inflicted on his guitar, it was all over. The cry of the saxophone could still be heard echoing off the walls of the arena as the lights went down. I was thrown back into silent murmurs of the crowd around me. Blinking in my dazed state as the house lights went up, I thought this is the music that inspires people. I looked out over the horizon though my real thoughts were back in the elevator last night. I shook my head and began again. But when I found myself in the same elevator as Hawkins later that night, I realized he was nothing like the man he was on stage. On stage he was charismatic, but in person he was arrogant and smug. Without an audience watching him, he was reserved and seemingly bitter with his lot in life. A shadow of the person he was on stage. Still, and I say this as objectively as I can with a scorned pride Dont you mean bruised ego? Lizzie interjected. Oh, great, now even Lizzies a critic. Shaking my head in disbelief, I continued, AnywayI thought about the beautiful music that still echoed in my ears and I was left feeling only one thingsad. Cars continued to pass us, but I barely registered them as I thought about Hawkins in the elevator with his dark, tousled hair. I guess what they say is true, I exhaled, blondes must have more fun. Oh. Lizzie whimpered like a puppy dog. Wait a minute, when did you start to care about Hawkins? I was just improvising, Lizzie, I said dismissively. Rileys not going to keep that part of the story. I looked over at Riley who continued to type beside me. Youre going to delete those last couple of sentences, right? Oh, yeah. He looked up. I just got carried away. He glanced up at the overhead highway sign, that we quickly passed, and asked, Wasnt that our exit? Oh, crap! I looked in the rearview mirror as we pulled away from the back of the large, green exit sign. Check the directions. Riley tossed his laptop to the ground so he could focus on the directions. No, were good, but its coming up. At least I think it is, 300, no? He turned the paper to the side so he could examine it more closely. 290? Give it to me. I grabbed the paper out of his hands and looked down at the directions. I noticed that J.T. Hawkins signature was clear across the page. The dark scribbling had made it virtually impossible to see the exit number. We had been driving for five hours now. My stomach was growling since my lunch only consisted of a few peanut butter crackers, a couple of Twizzlers, and a swig of Mountain Dew. All I wanted to know was the exit number, but no, J.T. Hawkins chose Riley. I slapped the papers across Rileys chest since they were useless to me now. Ill look it up on the computer, Riley said, but I stopped him. Its too late now, I mumbled. I picked the exit based on the tried and true method of elimination: Eeny Meeny Miny Moe. I veered off the highway at exit 300, while I ignored the huge sign that read Wrong Exit, Joie! But I was too tired to notice until I discovered that we had merged onto I-66, another main highway headed straight for Washington, D.C., not Charlottesville, Virginia. Oh, shit, Riley murmured. I was filled with a few choice words for Hawkins, but I bit my tongue knowing that no one wanted to hear it. Through my rearview mirror I realized that Lizzie was lying down again. She was already listening to the music on her iPod; once again unaware of anyone elses stress but her own. Riley, my copilot, on the other hand looked frantically over the maps from Triple A. Glancing up to read the signs intermittently, he instructed, Okay, you want to merge to the right and then take the next exit. It should loop around so that we can go the other way. Youre a saint, I said with relief as we smiled at each other for a quick second. I hit my right turn signal, veered off to the side, and swung around again. We were back on I-81 in no time. After an hour, we reached I-65 heading toward Charlottesville, Virginia, where our next concert awaited us. We pulled off the exit and drove in the direction of the nearest Walmart parking lot. Home sweet home, I sang while cutting off the engine in front of the expansive store. Riley and I high fived

Home sweet home, I sang while cutting off the engine in front of the expansive store. Riley and I high fived each for having made it out of a tight fix together. Lizzie pulled out her white earphones and groaned from the back, Where are we? BFE, sweetheart, I said under my breath, BFE. We relished the feeling of being somewhere planned for a moment until I said, Okay, first I have to do money detail. It was comforting to know that I was the one responsible for the money. As much as I hated to be in charge of the others, I hated to rely on someone else even more. Reaching under my seat, I grabbed the stack of money that my father had left behind for me in his will. I got out my calculator and stuck a pen in the back of my pony tail. Trying not to think about my dad, I counted out the money for this part of the trip. I worked out the necessities and murmured, Gas, food, place to sleep. Glancing around at the parking lot, I said, Check. Although I knew that I had just enough money to cover the span of forty-four tour dates, I still wanted to cut corners whenever we could, like sleeping in the van, just in case something went terribly wrong and we needed a backup plan. I noticed as I counted out the money that it only took a few seconds for the hot, humid summer air that surrounded the van to seep inside. God, were going to roast in here, Riley said as he peeled his shirt off and dabbed his face. He looked like a beast with his well-defined, tanned pecks and tight abdomen. His eyebrows furrowed together over his light brown eyes when he asked, Joie, are you staring at me once again? Whatever, it plays tricks on my mind, okay? Mr. Abercrombie model, I muttered as I looked away. Why dont you try keeping your shirt on like everyone else. He softly chuckled as he pulled his infamous white V-neck shirt back over his head. He ran both his hands through his hair to slick it back off his face before biting his short nails out of habit. He arched an eyebrow in my direction, but didnt look over at me. Kind of freaking me out, Joie. Right. I turned my head away again. Perfectly good waste of a shower. Lizzie tossed the sheet off herself with exasperation and huffed, I should have gotten a ride with Ryan in his tour bus. But you hooked up with Warren last night, Riley reminded her. So? So, he said. I thought you were moving up to the big leagues. Baby steps, she sighed. Baby steps. My face scrunched up in confusion as I grabbed what cash we needed and put the rest of it back in the manila envelope under my seat. Okay, sightseers, I said, checking the dashboard clock. Since we have well over six hours until the concert starts. I pulled out a pamphlet from the glove compartment and read, We are in the fine city of Charlottesville, Virginia. Best known for being the home of three U.S. presidents: Thomas Jefferson, James Madison, and James Monroe. Oh, god, no. Lizzie pulled the sheet back over her head. Its too freaking hot for that, Riley agreed. What? I need to do something on this trip besides stalk a band, I stressed. Something I can explain to other normal people when I tell them about my adventure across the states. You mean your mother. Lizzie rolled her eyes. Pretty much, I said, taking another quick glimpse down at the pamphlet. Do any of you have a better idea? Yeah, we walk into that air conditioned Walmart over there, Riley pointed across the parking lot at the store, and we find a place to get a cold drink and sit down for a while. Sounds like a plan, Lizzie agreed. Before I could even close the pamphlet, they were out of the van and slamming the doors shut. I looked over a few key sightseeing places on the front of the pamphlet. I stored the information away in my mind for when my mother drilled me with questions about my college credit sightseeing tour of the country. Taking one last glance, I threw the pamphlet over my shoulder and exited out of the sauna-like van. The instant we crossed through the doors we were met with an inviting cool gust of air. Ah, I already feel better, Riley sighed as we made a beeline for the indoor McDonalds. I got a super-sized vanilla shake and a burger which I inhaled in minutes. After lunch, Lizzie was biting at the bit to do some girl shopping. We left Riley at the table; he was still too exhausted from the heat to want to do anything but sit. Save me! I pleaded with him as Lizzie dragged me away by the arm. I gave up on the fight and sipped on what

Save me! I pleaded with him as Lizzie dragged me away by the arm. I gave up on the fight and sipped on what was left of my shake as we headed over to the ladies clothing section. Lizzie suddenly turned to me and said, We really need to work on your look. What? I was dumbfounded. This, she said, waving in a circle down the length of me, isnt working. So this was why she wanted me to shop with her. I rolled my eyes while looking down at my pink rolled-up sweats and white tank top. It works for me. How are we going to get Hawkins to notice you dressed like that? I dont care if Hawkins notices me. Not that it mattered, but I remembered Hawkins staring at me from across the parking lot this morning. I was pretty sure that was called getting noticed. Yet, I didnt want Lizzie to make a production out of nothing so I just smiled smugly to myself. Well, I care if Im going to be seen with you, Lizzie added. Ouch. Im sorry that I embarrass you that much. I guess you should have thought about that before you got in my van and started driving around the country with me! I replied with more tone than I felt and turned around to go back to Riley. Calm down, she said, rushing in front of me. I have an idea; let me give you a makeover! Before I could answer, she grabbed my hand to pull me along behind her. Come with me. She smiled back at me. With my special expertise, Hawkins will be like putty in your hands. We walked through the girls section, but passed all the cute t-shirts created under the Miley Cyrus line for the store. I went to reach out for one of them when Lizzie slapped my hand away. Walmart is known for being a family store, but that didnt stop Lizzie from finding the most revealing, trashy clothes the store had to offer before we headed over to the dressing room. Humoring her, I tried on top after top while grumbling in frustration. At times, she literally had to help me get out of some of those contraptions. I turned around to flatten out my dark, static-charged hair, but it only bounced back up. I tilted my head to examine myself in the mirror. Always noticing my big, brown eyes first, probably because I thought they were my best facial feature. I then glanced across my wide cheekbones and finally down to my small, pouty lips. The look was a little less alien and a little more like Victoria Posh Beckham without the snotty off-putting air of confidence or at least Ive been told. Lizzie brought me out of my inspection by handing me a purple mesh-like material. I assumed it was supposed to be a shirt, but it was barely enough material to cover a toddler let alone an adult. After pulling it on with some effort, Lizzie clapped her hands excitedly and announced, This is the one! Turning around to look in the mirror, I gasped. OMG. First, the purple was a bold purple, not mixed with anything, just straight out of the crayon box. Not that purple is a bad color or a bad color on me, but it helped the shirt scream, Here I am. Next, the shirt went loosely around my waist and then two sections went over each shoulder but the front was left completely open down to my bellybutton. A little golden clasp was the only thing that secured the material together in the front. The sight of it horrified me. No, this is not the one. In the next second, she ripped the price tag off the shirt and said determinedly, You asked for my help. What are you doing? I cant just walk out there in this, I hissed. And anyway, I dont remember asking you for anything. Just wear this to the concert tonight, she said innocently enough. If it doesnt get you noticed then you can go back to your sweat pants and tank tops. Oh, Im sure Ill get noticed. It screams look at me, just not in a good way. I hiked the shirt over my head. What are you doing? Lizzie stopped me from pulling the shirt off. Youre going to wear it to the concert tonight. My mouth opened to argue, but Lizzie was insistent so, crossing my arms over my chest, I did my first walk of shame through the store to the checkout lines. The girl behind the cash register, who looked like I had personally offended her somehow, handed Lizzie back the change like we had cooties. When we met up with Riley at the door, Lizzie smiled brightly and asked, Doesnt she look hot? He looked like he was trying very hard not to laugh. Wow, I really like the contrast between the white of your stomach and that vibrant purple. I am so not wearing this. I glared at Lizzie in protest. What does Riley know, hes gay, she said, like she was really explaining something to me. Wrapping my arms around myself, I headed towards the exit. After we left the store, I was already attracting

looks from people in the parking lot, but I literally just grinned and beared it. I was only doing this for Lizzie until we reached the van. There was no way that I was going to wear this trashy top to tonights concert. I didnt want to see J.T. Hawkins looking down at me full of disdain once again. I had had enough of his looks for a lifetime. Once we settled back into the van, Lizzie was insistent on giving me a complete makeover with makeup included. Although I flat out refused, she ripped open her makeup bag like she was on a mission. Yawning, I watched Riley boot up his laptop beside me in the passenger seat. I was tired from all the traveling and decided to take a quick nap because we still had a few hours to kill until the concert started. I crawled in the back and lay down beside Lizzie, who without being asked, started applying mascara to my eye lashes. Giving up, I closed my eyes as she went to town with the makeup. I was just relieved that I had packed face wipes as one of my toiletries before I left the house. I was only brought out of my semi-asleep mode when I heard Riley mummer, Oh, no. Lizzie stopped mid-swipe before we both looked up at him. Whats wrong? I asked. Riley turned around in his seat, and I noticed that he looked a few shades paler than his usual tan self when he said to me, Dont kill me. What is it? I asked, propping myself up on my elbow so I could give him my fullest attention. Remember when we were trying to find that exit? He forced a smile. Vaguely, ah huh. I nodded, not knowing where this was going. I wrote your review in an email because I was late submitting it and somewhere in all the confusion when I dropped the laptop, he grimaced, your review accidentally got sent. As in all of it. Oh, my god, I groaned as Lizzie stifled a laugh. You can email them back, right? You can fix it, right? Yeah. He nodded. Ill do it right now, dont worry. I went to cover my face with my hands when Lizzie slapped them away. Dontyoull ruin your makeup. I looked up at her like, seriously?! Well, whatever, your face, she clucked and rolled over on her side of the cot. I was so embarrassed that anyone, outside the three of us, was going to read that review, especially my vivid account of my nightmarish elevator ride with J.T. Hawkins. Surely, this was the type of thing they would edit out. No one wanted to hear, what was it that I had said exactly? That he was a shadow of the man in person than when he was on stage and that I had felt sorry for him? Sighing to myself, I tugged the sheet over my face in humiliation. Hopefully someone will get a good laugh out of the review and then delete it. End of story. I was so exhausted from traveling that this last embarrassing blow put me out for the count. I woke up to Lizzie snoringor as she called it, flutteringbeside me while slowly gathering my bearings. Sitting up, I looked out the back window of the van where the curtains didnt obscure my view of the outside. Noticing that the sun was far across the horizon, I rubbed my eyes and turned around to look up front at Riley. He was slumped down in his seat, with his computer still on his lap as he slept. I stumbled up to the drivers seat and checked the time on the dashboard clock. It was already seven oclock! The same time the opening act was scheduled to take the stage. If we didnt hurry we were going to be really late for the concert which was the equivalent of Riley being really late for work. Frantically, I pulled on Rileys arm until he stirred beside me. Then I started up the van and gunned it out of the parking lot. Oh, no. He jolted up in his seat. Battle stations. He quickly closed his laptop and dropped it onto the floor. He grabbed up the MapQuest directions as we sailed down the highway. Lizzie finally stopped fluttering in the back. A few seconds later, she outstretched her arms and yawned. Are we late? Yeah, thats if Riley here still wants the job. I glanced over at him. Have we heard anything? I havent had a chance to see if they emailed me back, he explained. Ill check when I get a minute. Well, that opportunity never came because just five minutes later I saw red, white, and blue lights flashing in my rearview mirror. It would figure that the only time the van was cranked up to an uncharacteristic sixty-seven miles an hour that it would be in a fifty-five mile an hour zone. The officer glared down at me, and I could only imagine how I looked to him while still dressed in the scanty purple top. Thankfully, Lizzie was there to dazzle the officer with her super flirting abilities and we were let off with only a warning. Still, an unspoken tension was building among everyone in the van as I drove along at the snail pace of fifty-five miles an hour to a concert we were already late for. It was eight oclock when we finally reached the venue. The sun was setting behind us as we made our way down the packed lawn full of people who were already waiting for the band to take the stage. We held out our tickets to the staff before walking down the aisle to pavilion seating next to the stage. Stopping four rows back from the

stage, Riley checked his ticket and waved for us to follow behind him. We inched down the row when suddenly the crowd erupted into loud screams as the band took the stage. Camera lights were flashing around us like it was the Fourth of July. After finding our seats, I looked over at Riley and Lizzie on either side of me, smiling at each of them because we had made it to the show on time. Hawkins gazed back and forth at the fans standing in the orchestra pit in front of him. I had seen the gaze before, calling it the drug he took each night in my silly review. I watched him look out across the crowd once more before his eyes suddenly locked with mine. I watched those blue eyes suddenly turn dark and menacing. My heart raced when his eyes stayed fixed on mine. Stepping backwards towards the drums, where a crew member waited with his guitar, he curled his lip matching the spiteful expression in his eyes. He pulled his eyes away from me long enough to grab his guitar, giving me a second to exchange a panicked look with Riley. Surely, they didnt post the review on their website. It was unprofessional. It was arrogant. It was a stream of babble over my bruised ego. Hawkins swung his guitar over his shoulder and hit the first chord as the lights went up above him, but something was different in his demeanor tonight. I wasnt quite sure what it was. It didnt fully hit me until he dramatically strutted back and forth across the stage way too many times to be inspired by anything but anger and resentment. I covered my mouth in shock as it all unraveled before me. Lizzie, who was dancing beside me, seemed to be the only one of us who hadnt noticed Hawkins was enraged. He finally stopped strutting across the stage while the music continued as usual in the background. He glared down at me for such a long time that I knew, he knew, what I had written. Riley dropped to his seat beside me with dread. Hawkins continued to hit the same chord on his guitar over and over again while glaring down at me. He continued to do this for so long that the other band members started to look around at each other in confusion. Lizzie tugged at my arm and exclaimed, Hes looking at you! Peeling my eyes away from the hypnotic stare of Hawkins, I looked over at Lizzie in bafflement. Was she really that clueless? Lizzie gave me a small, smug smile and hooted, Oh, yeah. I knew she thought somehow the attention I was receiving was about her makeover which reminded me to tug at the JLo monstrosity. After making his point, Hawkins wandered over to the microphone to sing, never giving me a second glance throughout the rest of the night. Not that I personally cared, but with Riley involved, I knew that this might mean something else for him entirely. He could get fired. I was still quietly damning my big mouth as the lights went down at the end of the show. Thats my cue. Lizzie flashed her backstage pass, which was supposed to be used for her to visit Ryan backstageuntil she met Warren last night. I was stunned for a moment as I contemplated the consequences that a clearly clueless Lizzie may encounter with Hawkins backstage since he couldnt take his frustration out on me. Before I could reach out to grab her, she had taken off down the aisle. Riley and I exchanged a quick look of panic before I took off after her. The packed crowd made it hard to navigate my way down the aisle as I bumped into people to the left and right of me who were also trying to exit the arena. Watch it! a girl shouted over her shoulder at me after I stumbled into her. Nice shirt, she mumbled sarcastically. I stood up on my tip toes and looked down the aisle for Lizzie, but I couldnt see her. I was finally freed from the pack when I reached the vendors on the outskirts of the lower pavilion. I turned towards the wall to my left that extended down from the stage to a door that was surrounded by three large bodyguards. They were equivalent in size to that of James Harrison, LaMarr Woodley, and Casey Hampton from the Pittsburgh Steelers. My shoulders slumped when I realized that Lizzie was already backstage. There would be no quick intervention as I had hoped. I thought about my rules, one of them being no backstage visits, while I paced back and forth for a minute. I watched through the corner of my eye as the three bodyguards zeroed in on my strange behavior. Shaking my head, I remembered the pure spite in Hawkins expression as he glared down at me from the stage. I then visualized Lizzie running back to us in tears and decided that some things were just more important than my rules. I headed over to James Harrisons look-alike and before he could even open his mouth I held up the extra backstage pass. I didnt get frisked, since lets face it, where was I going to hide anything in this outfit? After shutting the door behind me, I froze. I wasnt invited, I wasnt invited, I mumbled like a nut to myself before I remembered why I came here in the first place, Lizzie. I wrapped the pass around my neck to deter any questions and frankly because it added more coverage over my shirt. I felt lost in the labyrinth of the backstage filled with crew members that were rushing around in every direction. Just then someone opened the door behind me. It was the bodyguard I dubbed as Woodley. He glanced over his shoulder to look at me quizzically for a second before he veered down a pathway to the right. Wherever there is a

shoulder to look at me quizzically for a second before he veered down a pathway to the right. Wherever there is a guard there needed to be a body so I decided to follow behind him. Pulling my cell phone out, I started texting Lizzie. I wasnt paying attention to where we were heading as we turned around another corner. I finished my text. Where the hell are you? The bodyguard entered one of the rooms up ahead. Not sure who was in that room, I slowed my approach. Backing up against a wooden ledge along the pathway, I waited until I had mustered up enough guts to push through the door. I stared at my cell phone willing Lizzie to text me back when suddenly a door to my left opened. A crew member was quickly exiting the room. As the door started to slowly close, I glanced up and saw Hawkins sitting on a couch in the room. I watched his dazzling smile quickly fade from his face. His blue eyes blinked twice in my direction when he realized that I was actually standing there as the door shut again. Shit! I snapped the phone shut and spun around to head back in the direction from which I came. I hoped that it wouldnt take long to get the hell out of there and to do so before Hawkins found me. I heard a door slam shut behind me; oh please, oh please, do not let it be Hawkins! I heard the sound of feet shuffling behind me as my pace quickened; a familiar voice yelled, Riley! Hey, Riley! I knew it was Hawkins and I would have done anything to get out of there without having to talk to him. I turned the corner, but all I could see in front of me were too many choices of where to turn next. Note to self: pay attention the next time you follow a Steelers defensive back down a maze. My heart raced as Hawkins closed the space between us. Im talking to you, Riley, Hawkins said as I bolted down the pathway to my right. After a minute, I glanced back and was relieved to discover he wasnt anywhere behind me. Relief flooded through me until I realized I was an idiot and just walked down a freaking dead end! My head fell back and I prepared myself for the inevitable which was walking back the way I came. Of course he was standing there waiting for me; his shoulders moving up and down as he shook with laughter when I stopped a few feet in front of him. Wonderful. Are you lost, Riley? His penetrating stare was once again fixed on me. His tall, muscular physique towered over me as he crossed his arms. I realized that those sparkling blue eyes were even more penetrating up close. Why are you calling me that? I rolled my eyes. Thats not your name? he asked while displaying an expression of mock surprise. No, its Joie. So is Riley just your pen name for when you write reviews of the shows? The amusement had disappeared completely from his face. About that, I said. Yeah, about that. He nodded at me while he adjusted the tense grip on his crossed arms. See what had happen wasits all rather funny; Riley kept talking about the lighting and Lizzie is well, Lizzie, and then it accidently got posted. I smiled while I waved my hands in the air to fill in the blanks. Ah, he emphasized then smiled down at me. (Man, he was tall! Just an observation now that I was this close.) I quickly smiled back and thought, oh yeah, its cool. Until I noticed the smile wasnt reaching his eyes and that his smile looked stuck, almost menacing. Of course, there was no confusion when the look turned back into a full force glare. Now I understand, he said sarcastically. Joie? I heard someone say over Hawkins shoulder. God? Joie! What are you doing back here? Hawkins turned his strong, manly shoulders around giving me a clear view of Lizzie as she approached from down the hallway. Oh, thank god! I breathed a sigh of relief as Hawkins turned back around to look down at me. I was just looking for you. Taking the opportunity to slide out of the dead end hallway, I walked towards Lizzie. Youre breaking another one of your rules. She waggled her finger at me. Save it, Lizzie, just save it. Just curious, Hawkins called over his shoulder. What are the rules exactly? I closed my eyes with my back to him as Lizzie rattled them off, No hotels, no backstage visits, no tour buses Wow, full of yourself? he asked dryly. I went to grab Lizzie to lead her away from Hawkins, but he wasnt done making his point. Why the rules? I mean, besides her serious lack of self-esteem? Oh. Lizzie paused to look at me for the first time. No, go ahead, I said through clenched teeth. Tell him. Lizzie narrowed her eyes as she looked between the two of us. Are you two upset with each other?

Lizzie narrowed her eyes as she looked between the two of us. Are you two upset with each other? Oh now she wanted to get a clue! Why have rules if you are clearly not going to follow them? Why not just save us all the grief. He glared down at me as he walked past us and headed back down the hallway. Did I miss something? Lizzie asked. Yep, I sighed. Do you know how to get out of this god forsaken place? Ah, huh. She pointed up at a sign. You just follow the exit signs to the pavilion. God, I grumbled at my stupidity. Hawkins seemed really fired up. She smirked. Wouldnt have anything to do with that shirt, would it? Yeah, he hated it, too. What really happened? Ill explain everything on the trip back to Walmart, but for now I just want to get out of here. Oh, about that. She gave me a wicked grin. Im going to go with Warren over to his hotel tonight. Are you sure that hes safe to be alone with? I asked out of concern. He should be the one whos worried about his safety. She winked. Well, Im not going to that hotel uninvited. I cocked my head. Well meet up tomorrow, then? Sure. Lizzie shook her chest in a little happy dance as she backpedaled away from me. I laughed before she turned to drift down the same hallway as Hawkins.

2. UNINVITED
Passing Harrison on my way back to the door that opened to the arena, I noticed the crowd had diminished to half the size as everyone continued to exit the amphitheater. He has some nerve, I grumbled to myself while walking up the hill in the direction of the pavilion gates. I remembered his snide comment when he suggested that I was the one who was full of themselves. Ha! Though, I knew he had a right to be upset with me for what I wrote (especially about the sad, grieving, pathetic part) but it was too late to fix the impossible which now made me wonder how did it get posted in the first place? Not one sane possibility came to my mind when I reached the crest of the hill. It was crowded with the last bunch of fans who, like myself, were trying to leave through the cramped gates. I inched along the tight space of the crowd until I was released to the parking lot. The confined space reminded me of trying to get past Hawkins and his broad shoulders. He was hot; Id have to give him that. Even in his anger and frustration he came off as smoldering. I tugged at my shirt while knowing that he was less impressed with me, though. I blamed the purple mesh top that I couldnt wait to torch. I saw our van parked in what looked like a department stores parking lot on Black Friday as everyone tried to be the first person to leave. Red and white car lights flooded the lot for a mile ahead of me. Carefully, I avoided getting run over by one of the many impatient vehicles as I approached the van. Inside the van, Rileys silhouette was just visible. His shoulders were slumped down in the passenger side seat and it made me wonder who would sabotage someones job like this? Who would post such a thing, I wondered with outrage. Placing a smile on my face, I waved before I got inside as a test to see what I was about to walk in on. Riley anxiously scratched behind his head and winced at me. That cant be good, I murmured to myself. Opening the door, I hopped up inside, shut the door behind me and looked over at him. Im all ears, lay it on me. He didnt say anything at first as I looked down at the open laptop in front of him. They didnt fire you, did they? I whispered, but he remained silent. Its not your fault! There should have been someone in charge of editing the website to stop it from getting posted, I continued. Its not like you could do this all by yourself. I didnt get fired, he whispered. What is it then? I started to feel apprehensive because if he wasnt fired then why wasnt he happy? They didnt post it on the official site. Okay? He tilted his face down, scrunched up his forehead so he had to look up at me from under his long lashes and brown eyes.

Ah no, why the puppy dog face? They didnt post it on the official website, but He nervously fiddled with his silver ring. Someone who must have liked what you wrote posted the entire review on the official sites message boards. Its already had two thousand hits. Two thousand hits! It wasnt that interesting, I insisted. It is when the star in question decides to tweet a response to it, he stressed. Oh, no. I threw my head back against the seat. What did he say? It isnt pretty, he warned. I think I can handle it, I said, surer than I felt. Okay, well then, here it is, This girl assumed I would want her to come up to my hotel room. The fact that I didnt is a reality check. Ouch. Yeah. He hesitated before looking down at the screen again. Another tweet says Another one? I interrupted him. Oh, there are a few, but I can understand if you dont want to hear them, he said, like a true friend. Clenching my jaw, I glared out at the mayhem of the parking lot. No, why stop now? Okay, another says that he never intended to jolt your bones in any way. I couldnt help but laugh while letting Riley know that it was okay to laugh, too. Hit me with the next one, I chuckled. This one is more recent. I watched as the megawatt smile faded from his face. That you looked like a grease monkey turned street hooker tonight. We were silent for a moment. Excuse me for a second. I cleared my throat before I got out of the van. I opened the side door to the van, jumped in, and ripped the shirt off my back. I was stripping with the door halfway open, but I didnt care since this shirt was going down like a dying beast. Riley continued to type away on his computer like this was perfectly normal, typical behavior for me. With my white tank top on, I slinked out of the skimpy shorts in exchange for my rolled up pink sweats. After tossing the shirt on the rubble of the ground below, I proceeded to kick the living shit out of it. Once I was satisfied with its demise, I grabbed up a few face wipes and shut the door. I got back into the front seat where I started to wipe away the dark circles around my eyes that were actually put there on purpose. I looked down at the blackened cloth and, as if only a few seconds had passed since we had last talked, said, Anything else? The website wants to know if you would like to make a comment? He arched his eyebrow in my direction. Why? Well, in the time that it took you to have that lovely, therapeutic moment. He waved behind him. The site has already had one hundred more hits. Why would they want that? I asked. This is a lot of action for the website, he explained. Oh, I dont know. I heaved a sigh while knowing that I would have been the better person if I could just let it go. Another tweet is up from Hawkins. Riley grimaced. What is really sad is that her friend is here at our hotel even though no one wants her to be. That pompous, arrogantwhatever, lets go get her. Battle stations, Riley murmured as he put down his laptop and went for his cell phone. Did she tell you what hotel? No, she didnt, I replied as I started up the van. Ill text her, Riley offered. Although we had hoped to leave right away, we didnt get very far because the traffic jam surrounded us. We were stuck, like everyone else who was still trying to exit the parking lot. I jammed on the brakes, throwing us forward, when a white Lexus swerved in front of the van. Riley braced the dashboard with his free hand mid-text and I got the wind knocked out of me from the steering wheel. You okay? I croaked. I know that youre worried for Lizzie, he smirked, but if we dont make it to the hotel, we cant actually rescue her. Relaxing each finger from my tight grip on the steering wheel, I looked warily out at the other vehicles around us. God, how many of these people were actually sober?

The Omni Hotel, Riley read the text out loud. I think that its in town. He typed the hotel name in on the MapQuest site while I willed the cars to move faster out of sheer desperation. Come on, come on, I muttered. Got it! He looked up from his computer. We want to head downtown. I looked out at the three to five filled lanes in front of us and felt helpless. Worried for Lizzie, I said, Riley, I would like to make my comment now. Riley did a double take at me like, are you sure? I just nodded in response. He looked down at the screen and fluidly typed away at the keyboard before he said, Im ready. Hawkins strutted across the stage, I started, and he continued to strut across the stage until he had made his point that he had read my stupid review that was never intended to be posted in the first place. In retrospect, I was just blowing off some steam when I said those thoughtless things and assumed it would be useless content for a professional site such as this one. I widened my eyes sarcastically. My friend humored me at the time by typing out every word I babbled as we drove to the next venue. He accidentally sent the fake review to the website during a heated moment when we took the wrong exit during our travels. To his horror, I assure you, he realized what had happened and quickly emailed the website back trying to fix the problem, but we never heard back from them again. I looked over at Riley as he typed beside me. With that said, I am deeply apologetic for any misunderstandings. That was until no less than two minutes ago when Hawkins insisted that I looked like a grease monkey turned street hooker tonight. Girls, if you are a brunette, redhead, or even possibly have a darker shade of sandy blonde hair, I shrugged while looking out at the traffic, you need to drop out of the Hawkins fan club. He will not date you, give you a second look, or speak a word to you (possibly about you, but not to you) as he has so clearly made it known that he prefers blondes. End of discussion. I say this as a warning, when you hear me taking a hit from him, realize girls that were all taking a hit. No one is good enough for him. And blondes, I fear that I speak for you too since my friend, who he complained about having to be around, just happens to be a blonde! Sincerely, I thought of the first thing that came to my mind, Not Stalking Hawkins. I looked over at Riley who gave me the thumbs up. Can you upload a picture of Lizzie to go along with it? I asked. Damn, he emphasized because we both knew that Lizzie was a knockout and if Hawkins didnt like her, who did he like? We were finally on the move again as the traffic started to flow out of the venue in an orderly fashion. Were looking for US-250, Riley instructed. A few turns later, we merged onto the highway and followed the green highway signs for downtown Charlottesville, Virginia. I wondered if Lizzie was just as clueless about Warren as she was about the concert tonight. I felt a pang of sadness to know that Hawkins had thrown her under the bus as well. After a few short minutes, we came to a stoplight. There it is. The Omni Hotel. Riley pointed ahead. The hotel jetted out over top of the next street. I peered up at it as we passed through the green light and continued down the road. It looked like any other expensive hotel I had seen before except this one was packed with tour buses in the parking lot. Glancing over the mostly black and brown varieties of buses, my eyes zeroed in on the purple one. Were definitely in the right place, I said, sighing to myself. Theres Hawkins tour bus. I turned the van into the parking lot and pulled into the first available space I could find, which wasnt easy considering how packed the place was. My intentions were to move quickly since I didnt want to get stopped and questioned before we had a chance to reach the hotel lobby. This is probably going to be more like an intervention. I prepared Riley. Because Im not sure that Lizzie will come willingly. You want me to drag her out? I want you to throw her over your shoulder and make a run for it. No one makes fun of our Lizzieexcept us. Gotcha. He nodded before we got out of the van. Just follow my lead, I said to him as we walked towards the double doors of the hotel. I saw Woodley and Hampton stationed inside just by the opening of the door. I flashed them my backstage pass, though I wasnt sure how far it could get me now that I wasnt at the venue. They seemed to recognize me from the concert, though I didnt know how that was possible now that I looked like a totally different person without my slutty purple shirt and layers of cruddy makeup. I discovered that those backstage passes could get a girl far (and apparently a guy as well) since they allowed

I discovered that those backstage passes could get a girl far (and apparently a guy as well) since they allowed both of us to pass by them. Huh? I puckered my lips together and thought, wow, that was easy. But when I glanced over my shoulder I saw Hampton turn around to eye us warily. I could tell that he was just about to stop us when he saw that we were heading toward the elevator doors. I grabbed onto Rileys wrist and quickly pulled him behind me between the closing elevator doors. I caught a glimpse of Hampton rushing toward us with a black radio up to his lips just before the doors closed. The elevator doors dinged open at the next floor. I leaned out and quickly glanced down the empty hallway before I pulled myself back in. I was frantic because I was pretty sure the band and the entire crew had reserved all the rooms in the hotel for themselves tonight. We didnt exactly blend in with them unless they thought we were family members, who probably occasionally visited, or groupies. I was pretty sure the bodyguards confused us with the latter of the two choices. Rolling my eyes, I felt my jaw clench, like hell was I here for Hawkins. What floor do you think theyre on? Riley asked. Whichever floor we find Harrison on. I nodded. His eyebrows scrunched together in confusion. The other bodyguard, I explained. Riley suddenly bugged his eyes out at me. Girl, what have you been doing? Im not Lizzie. I smirked as the elevator doors flew open at the next floor. I popped my head out, but the hallway was empty. Next floor. By the fifth floor, I saw Harrison with his back to us down the hallway. He whirled around when he heard us coming out of the elevator. I was giving him my, Im with the band wave, when loud laughter erupted in the room across from the elevator. I sensed that Harrison wasnt buying an ounce of my bullshit when I saw that he had his radio out as well. I got them, Harrison boomed. Frantically, I grabbed Rileys hand and stormed across the hallway towards the room where I heard the laughter coming from. I prayed that we would find Lizzie soon since I didnt want my first phone call home to be from jail. Harrison yelled loudly behind us as I barged through the door. Blinking a few times, I took in the scene in front of me. Along the far wall was a beige couch that faced the door. Warren, who looked more than content and pleased, was seated on the couch with an arm wrapped around Lizzie. He certainly wasnt acting like someone who didnt want her there. I saw Hawkins seated in a brown lounge chair next to the couch. I noticed he was busily texting away on his BlackBerry. The light gray t-shirt he wore clung to his broad chest making him look like he could be Vin Diesels body double. I may not particularly like him, but like Riley, he was nice to look at even if it was absolutely pointless. Hawkins tossed his BlackBerry to a side table when his eyes gazed over to meet mine. I diverted my eyes quickly away from him while feeling suddenly embarrassed for barging into the room. Suddenly interested in the king-sized bed behind him, I studied the embroidered comforter and dozen white pillows laid across the headboard. Hawkins followed my gaze to the bed and I realized that this wasnt just anyones room, this was hotel room of all people!his room. I felt like a raving lunatic for barging into his Warren and Lizzie were too immersed in their own little conversation to notice us at first. Until Lizzie did a double take across the room at us and said, Joie? Riley? What are you doing here? I was shaking my head in response when Harrison, who had finally caught up to us, went to personally escort us out of the room. Riley yelped when Harrison rammed him up against the side of the door on our way out of the room. Those are my friends! Lizzie exclaimed. Wait, Joie! Kind of out of my hands right now, Lizzie, I thought. Are these guys with you? Harrison turned us around to face Lizzie who was now standing beside Warren on the couch. Joie? I heard someone call out in a neighboring room. Recognizing the voice instantly, I couldnt believe it. What was my brother Kyles best friend from high school doing here? Kosic? I called out. Hawkins rolled his eyes and gave Harrison a dismissive wave. Well, finally, right back at ya! I thought, rolling my eyes. Riley got one last shove as he stumbled forward and I was released from the bodyguards firm grasp as well. I approached the arched doorway to the left of the room because I had to see Kosic for myself. A group of guys were situated around a wide circular table playing poker with the addition of a full bar laid out behind them. One person in particular was smiling with a gleam in his eyes. Always the picture of coolness, he leaned back in

One person in particular was smiling with a gleam in his eyes. Always the picture of coolness, he leaned back in his chair against the bar behind him. He might as well have been leaning against his red Camaro as I had seen him do so many times outside of my house. His dark hair was short and tousled, but it was those green eyes that drove the girls crazy. Mr. Preston High was my brothers wing man which meant I got the perk of seeing him much more than the other girls at school. Sometimes when he visited Id get the occasional wink or pat on my head, but that was about it. I was only twelve after all. Well, if it isnt Josephine Hall. He lit up those emerald green eyes like a switch. Nathan Kosic, what the hell are you doing here? I tried very hard to drop the lopsided grin across my face. Im the manager for these fools. He pointed to the guys around the table. Ryan, Lizzies ex-boyfriend, looked the same since the last time I had seen him. The only difference was the pissed off expression across his face, probably because he had a direct view of Warren and Lizzie on the couch. He quickly grimaced up at me before looking back down at his cards again. With Ryan being here, I realized that Kosic meant he was the manager of the local band, turned famous overnight, and the opening act for the tour: The Larks. I could ask the same of you, Kosic said with genuine surprise. Does Kyle know youre here? No, why should he? I smirked. I leaned against the side of the arch doorway so I could look in on Kosic because I didnt feel comfortable sitting at a place where I was not invited. Still, it had been way too long since I had last seen Kosic that I decided Hawkins could spare a few minutes of his time to have unexpected guests, especially after his rude tweets. The only reason Im asking, Kosic smiled, is because someone needs to keep all these boys away from you. Giving me the once over, he blatantly checked me out. Holy crap. I beamed over at him. God, I had prayed for the day when Nathan Kosic would look at me like that! I just didnt know that it would come at such an awkward time. Looking over at Hawkins, I realized he had noticed the exchange between Kosic and me. Interrupting my thoughts about Kosic, Lizziealways wanting to be the center of attentionpicked this moment to ask, What are you guys doing here again? I turned to Lizzie and explained, We came because we were, umm, worried for you. Worried for me? she asked as a smitten Warren lovingly twirled a strand of her blonde hair in between his fingers. Not worried for you, Riley interjected. Because why would we be worried for you? He forced a laugh. Its just that you left your fake I.D. behind in the van. Errr! That was never going to be a good enough excuse to crash Hawkins party. Plus, I wanted Hawkins to know the real reason we were there because his tweet was obviously bullshit. So I added, In case someone questioned why you were here. Huh? Lizzie looked at me like I had gone mental. Hawkins stopped mid-text to look up at me. I glared over at him as the realization took effect. He sighed before tossing his BlackBerry to the side again. His eyes flickered right back up to mine, matching the intensity of my glare. By the way, what happened to the purple shirt I bought you? Lizzie asked. Funny story, I said as Hawkins took a sip of his drink. A hooker stole it right off my back. Hawkins sprayed his drink in laughter. He coughed and hacked, clearly pleased with himself. Lizzie and Warren turned to look at him questionably from the couch. Oh, umm, Im sorry. Hawkins leaned back in his seat. Who knew our guests would be so entertaining? He glared back up at me with those deep blue eyes, but a glint of amusement replaced the previous death stare. More entertaining things were about to come out of my mouth when I suddenly heard the uproar of shouts at the nearby table. Turning back around, I watched Kosic lay out his cards. A straight flush, he sang, pay up. Kosic, are you counting the cards again? You lousy prick, another guy said as they all took a shot of alcohol around the table. I dont have to count the cards when youre just going to give them to me, Daniels. Kosic flashed a devious grin. He pulled the stack of chips over to his side of the table and smiled up at me. Joie, why dont you sit down and play a game with us? Its a drinking game, Lizzie piped up. Joie wont play. Another one of your rules? Hawkins said under his breath, but still loud enough for me to hear as we eyed each other once more. Before walking to the table, I turned to Riley who was still by the door where Harrison had roughed him up. It was easy to see that he didnt know what to do with himself so I nodded to the open space by Lizzie on the couch. Why dont you sit down?

But watch that one, I pointed to Hawkins, he actually bites. The crooked smile disappeared from Hawkins face as Warren started to laugh, but before Hawkins could retaliate I said to Kosic, Deal me in. Kosic stood up half way as I came around the table to give him a long overdue hug. He wrapped his arms around me and unexpectedly pulled me up off the ground. He groaned happily before releasing me again. My face turned as red as a tomato as I searched for an open seat around the table, but Kosic quickly pulled me down onto his lap with one quick tug of his arm. First, Im going teach you how to play, he explained to me like I didnt already know how. My face flushed all over again as his body pressed up against mine. Mentally I tried to switch gears but the twelve-year-old girl in me was screaming yes, yes, yes! Although I joined the game in spite of Hawkins comments, I was a little worried about the drinking part. A smile was plastered on my face so Hawkins wouldnt know he was right. It wasnt exactly one of my rules, but I didnt really drink. Besides a glass of champagne at a couple of weddings, and a sip of my moms pia coladas at the beach, that was it. Still, I couldnt let Hawkins be right, ever. To my relief, I noticed that everyone elses pile of chips looked small in comparison to our pile which made me feel pretty good about my chances of not actually having to drink. That was until we lost the third game in a row. Hawkins distant, soft laughter could be heard as I downed every god awful shot of alcohol. Maybe I needed to work on my brave face since Hawkins seemed to know exactly how I felt about taking the shots. I couldnt hide the displeasure in my facial features as I slapped down another shot glass on the table. I ran the back of my hand across my mouth. Ugh! My body shivered with the nastiness of the taste. Why would anyone want to drink what smelled like nail polish remover? Ryan called it a night when Warren started to make out with Lizzie on the couch and Hawkins moved in to take the now open seat across from Kosic and me. Im in, Hawkins said coolly. Good, the drunk in me said to him. We got to keep those fingers busy doing something besides tweeting on that BlackBerry. Hawkins seemed to savor the moment, realizing that his comments had clearly gotten underneath my skin. For a moment he smirked at me before he looked down at his cards. Leaning my head back on Kosics shoulder, I gave Hawkins the stink eye since he looked way too happy with himself. Kosic slid our cards off the table like a professional. I felt pretty good with our full house as everyone started to fold around the table but Hawkins. He casually looked across the table at the sight of Kosic and I together. Were going to ante up, Kosic said as he tossed two chips in the middle of the table. Man, Kosic whispered in my ear, unaware that we had Hawkins undivided attention. Wow, youve grown up! Im so glad Kyle isnt here to see you like this with me, he added suggestively. Flushing a tomato red again, I beamed from ear to ear. Are you blushing? he taunted and the twelve-year-old in me giggled. I fold, Hawkins said as he leaned back in his chair. Turning to look over at him, I noticed the delight was gone from his eyes. Why? Kosic asked, seemingly surprised by the decision. We won! I was thrilled since it is one less shot for me. Let me see your cards. Kosic reached for Hawkins cards, but Hawkins slammed his hand down on them. You know the rules, I folded therefore I dont have to show you. Hawkins picked up his cards and tossed them onto the discarded pile. Kosic, who had also had too many, flipped the cards over and exclaimed, Who folds when they have four of a kind? Hawkins shrugged indifferently as I continued to pull the chips in. Im done, Hawkins sighed. Its getting late. Me too, Daniels agreed and got up from the table. I started to get up, too, but stumbled over the leg of the table (who put that there) and sat back down. Did you have a good time? Kosic asked me when Hawkins eyes flashed to mine. God, it didnt take much to get you drunk, did it? Hawkins snarled at me before he got up as well. I was speechless for a second. What did that mean to get me drunk? What the hell was his problem? Dont worry about him, hes just arrogant and smug. Kosic laughed. And a shadow of the man that he is on stage, isnt that what the review said? Kosic could barely contain his laughter. Without even looking, I knew that Hawkins had turned around. I dont know, why dont you ask your girlfriend?

What are you talking about? Kosic truly sounded confused. Yeah, thats my cue to go, I announced. Thats probably a good idea, Hawkins added. Youre not going to drive anywhere, youre drunk, Kosic replied. He threw an exasperated look at Hawkins. Dont worry about it, Kosic, Hawkins reassured him. Im sure shes parked just right outside. Standing up abruptly, I was infuriated, but also thoroughly embarrassed when I stumbled in front of Hawkins, again. Kosic jumped up to help me, but I gently pushed him away. Hawkins turned towards Riley and warned, Dont let her drive tonight. Why the hell do you care? I asked, coming out a little louder than I meant it to. I supplied you with the alcohol, he said indifferently. Wow, you really are a piece of work, arent you? I glared up at him as the room came to a standstill around us. And youre a lousy drunk, Hawkins retaliated. And youre just plain lousy, I retorted while passing him to head out into the hallway with Riley not far behind me. I realized when I turned around in the hallway that Kosic had followed after me, too. I dont think that either of you should be on the road this late. Im sure the hotel can manage to find you a room. Not knowing how to justify my behavior I just confessed, Im so sorry, Kosic. Its fine. He waved it off. The truth is the review was right, he is an arrogant prick. Im just glad that someone had the guts to finally let him know. Usually everyone just kisses his ass. Riley was about to confess that it was me, but stopped when I shook my head at him. I wasnt proud that I had put Hawkins in his place even if my veins were still boiling over with anger and resentment. Thank goodness for Kosic though, because he managed to get us a room at the already sold out hotel. We were just one floor beneath Hawkins I realized, though I wondered why it mattered to think about such things? If it wasnt for my promise to Riley that I would drive him to each concert, I would have walked away from all this drama days ago. It would have been easy to hand Riley the thick stack of cash that my father left for me in his will because it only reminded me that he was gone, forever. The family van that I still remembered so vividly from my childhood, however, still held some meaning which made it virtually impossible to pass the keys over to my crazy, but well-intentioned friends. Still, what enjoyment could I possibly get out of watching Hawkins from the front of the stage night after night while knowing what a miserable person he really was? I tossed back and forth in the bed wondering about this before I fell asleep.

3. PROMISES
I woke up with a splitting headache from a hangover that only got worse when I attempted to sit up. Determined to get a much needed shower, I forced myself to slip out of the extremely comfortable six hundred thread count, white Egyptian cotton sheets that were on top of a plush double-sized bed. Riley was sprawled out on the next bed with his face down in a pillow. I didnt want to wake him up so I quietly made my way over to the bathroom, closed the door gently and turned the faucets on for a long, hot shower. I imagined every crummy concert washing off me as the water went down the drain. Needless to say I was in there for a while before finally turning the water off. My empty stomach was the only thing that could tempt me into leaving the hotel room since I didnt want another encounter with Hawkins. I decided to chance it by making a trip by the hotel buffet. I found yesterdays clothes, freshly cleaned, hanging outside the door. It was probably the first pair of sweat pants they ever had to wash and press. Riley must have thought to put our clothes out to be cleaned while we stayed at such an expensive hotel. After I got dressed, I left my damp hair down, snatched up Rileys aviators to block out any kind of light, and grabbed the extra key pass before exiting our hotel room. I reached the silver elevator doorway and hit the down button. I mentally went over my attack strategy: skip the fruit and go straight for the carbs. Then race back to the elevator while avoiding anyone who might recognize me, mainly one person in particular. So wouldnt you know it when the elevator doors slid back open, I shook my head at the sight in front of me. There leaning against the right side of the elevator wall, looking cooler than James Dean, was Hawkins. Behind him was Harrison, his bodyguard. Hawkins eyes casually looked up from the ground to my pink rolled up sweats, then shamelessly at the tug of my tank top across my chest, until his eyes peeked for a second at the comical sight of me in Rileys aviators. He licked his lips, trying not to smile when he asked, Going down? Not that he could see me, but I rolled my eyes and stepped onto the opposite side of the elevator from him. Who knows? Maybe hangovers made you fearlessyeah, right. I rubbed my right temple now that my headache had just gotten worse. We were quiet for the ride of eternity down to the lobby, but just when I thought I was about to make a break for the door unscathed, Hawkins asked, If I dont like brunettes, red heads, and blondes than who does that leave? It was too early in the morning for the realization to fully hit me that he had read the damn comment! Paula Deen? My lips curled up with the insult. Funny, he said, but he wasnt laughing as he looked over at me intensely. Do you really want to keep this up? Keep what up? The elevator doors opened to the lobby. Hawkins gave some type of nod to Harrison before the bodyguard exited the elevator, but when I went to leave he reached his arm across, blocking off my exit, and pushed the elevator button to shut the doors again. My body went warm when Hawkins moved to stand in front of me. He glared down at me. This blog thing. I was I started to explain. I dont want excuses. He tilted his head down to level with my eyes. Just promises. I promise not to write about you as long as you promise not to write about me. I crossed my arms. Fine. Not moving an inch away from me, he continued, As much fun as it is to see you get all huffy and puffy. The edge of his lip curled up in a smile. This isnt a good time to be around the band, he stressed. It isnt safe. What do you mean? I felt my face tighten with confusion. Its just not a good time, trust me. Im trying to be nice, he added gravely. I laughed with the memory of last night. Well, I wouldnt want to see what not nice looks like.

I laughed with the memory of last night. Well, I wouldnt want to see what not nice looks like. I hit the open button to the elevator, but he didnt budge when the doors opened again. People were gawking at the sight of us so close together. Excuse me, I said acidly as my jaw tightened. Joie, Im being serious, he said earnestly. His blue eyes were searching mine. Likewise, I said with an edge at his insistence to repeat himself. Just remember to keep up your end of the deal. By the way, he added. Youre welcome. What? For the hotel room. He nodded. Youre welcome. Oh, my god! You have got to be kidding me! I rammed the close button to the elevator this time. I turned on him this time, closing in the space, pointer finger out. Kosic got me that room. I tapped his chest. Because he was worried for me so dont even try to take credit for something you didnt do. Oh, Kosic, he emphasized. Kosic, got you that hotel room? Yes, so Im not thanking you. I poked his solid chest again. Kosic, the manager of The Larks got you that hotel room? He leaned into me while looking beyond humored. Yeah, I said, a fraction less sure. So, its Kosic who foots the bill for all these hotel rooms? A sexy sneer crossed his face. Yes, I said flatly while knowing the truth now. Damn you, Hawkins! Like I said, he leaned in a fraction more, surprising me with the closeness, when he reached across to hit the open button, youre welcome. He pulled back from the space while making the emptiness suddenly seem so cool in the elevator. I barreled through the doors behind him while fuming. Harrison was waiting for Hawkins when he exited. Are you okay? Hawkins answered loud enough for me to hear, Im fine. She only tried to poke me to death. Taking a deep breath, I decided to be the better person by ignoring him. Instead, I headed straight towards the dining area. Passing the plush cream couches on my right and a long receptionist desk made with brown and gold flecked marble to my left, I entered a double doorway to the hotels restaurant. Once in the dining area, I noticed that mahogany tables and chairs filled the room. The place seemed to radiate elegance with cream-colored plates and crystal goblets laid out on the tables. My thoughts quickly drifted back to Hawkins who I heard shuffling in behind me. Not wanting another conversation, I quickly moved past the tables to the silver-plated, covered buffet trays that were lining the back wall of the room. I thought about Hawkins leaning into me on the elevator. It was dominant, a power trip, the antics of a bad boy. What did he mean by saying this wasnt a good time to be around the band and that this was him being nice? Threatening me in an elevator didnt help the situation, but I would keep my promise to him if he did the same. It sounded like a sensible plan. I didnt have to glance over my shoulder as I headed down the buffet table to know that he was lingering behind me. It seemed most of the dining room staff was staring in his direction. Sunglasses, huh? I was startled by a familiar voice from behind me. I turned around to see that Kosic was softly chuckling to himself at the sight of me in Rileys aviators. Hey, if you could have won a game or two I wouldnt be so hungover right now, I reminded him as we smiled at each other. Funny how that works, Hawkins said sarcastically as he moved around me and continued down the line. Whats that supposed to mean? Kosic pretended to be clueless. Seriously, you have to ask? Hawkins eyed him skeptically. What are they calling you again? Kosic laughed. Arrogant?Smug? I dont know, Joie. What are they calling me, again? Hawkins turned to ask me. Charismatic, I stated the only nice thing that got posted. Ha, nice. Hawkins smiled. Quickly, I continued to stack up my plate while not liking where this was going. Well, its been real, I said turning to leave. Ill just be going now. You do that. Hawkins smiled at our private joke. Wait a minute, Kosic interrupted. I wanted to get your number. Stopping midstride, Kosic pulled out his cell phone and card. By the way, was the hotel room okay? Kosic asked. Ah, yes, Joie. Hawkins tilted his head to glare over at me knowingly. How was the room last night? Oh notoo much testosterone in one room for me. That was really nice of you to get her one, Kosic, Hawkins commented as all amusement dropped from his face.

That was really nice of you to get her one, Kosic, Hawkins commented as all amusement dropped from his face. Kosic looked slightly embarrassed so I smiled really big and laid it on thick. Thank you, Nathan, that was really sweet of you to think of us. Ive suddenly lost my appetite, Hawkins said coolly before he passed by me without a second glance and departed the hotel restaurant. Is he bothering you? Kosic asked in a low voice for only me to hear. No, I answered while dropping the smile from my face as we exchanged numbers. Hes not bothering me at all. So can I call you? He smiled down at me. The little girl in me felt elated, but the older, more sober girl in me was starting to wonder if Kosic had tried to get me drunk last night? Yeah, sure, I said as those green eyes twinkled down at me with the ability to still leave me tongue tied. Im glad you liked the room, he added. I could barely stop myself from rolling my eyes as I said goodbye. I exited the restaurant with a plateful of food while taking one last glance at the expansive lobby before I slid in between the closing elevator doors. At our floor, I jetted out of the elevator and hurried down the hallway to our room. After slipping the key pass into the door, I quickly entered the room and shut the door behind me, making sure all the locks were in place. Riley came out of the bathroom with a towel wrapped around his waist and I got a whiff of his spicy aftershave. Boys, too many boys, I murmured. It isnt possible. Riley laughed as he headed over to his duffle bag. Hawkins managed to corner me in the elevator. I walked a few steps and put down the plate of food on the edge of my bed. Crossing the room, I reached out on either side of the window and grabbed a fist full of material to pull the curtains shut. The eye piercing light was bringing my headache into full swing again. It got a little heated between the two of us. Was it anything like last night? Riley asked as he put one leg at a time into a pair of military style chinos. Not as bad, but he explained to me that I was not to write about him again, like I looked forward to that prospect. Retrieving the plate filled with food from the bed, I sat down. I picked up an icing-laced cherry croissant and began to nibble on it. I dont know, he said something else. My eyebrows knitted together. He said it wasnt safe for me to be around the band right now. I looked up at Riley while hoping he might be able to shed some light on the strange message since in a way, he worked for the band. Not safe? Like you would be in danger? Yeah, like he was trying to warn me, but he didnt elaborate. I exhaled loudly. All I know is that we made a deal. Of course, all bets are off if he tweets anything else ugly about me again. By the way, your post came up this morning on the message boards, Riley informed me. That I already know, I said under my breath with the memory of Hawkins in the elevator. Did you know people think you are Lizzie? He grinned over at me. What? I looked down at my last post on the laptop screen which included a photo of Lizzie as the avatar beside it. Oh, shit. I covered my mouth before we both busted out laughing. Too bad it didnt fool Hawkins, I said regretfully. Lizzies not spending her time posting. He laughed. No, no, shes not, I emphasized. Some of these posts from the fans on the message boards are hysterical. He went to read one, If that is a hooker then where can I get her number? Another one says she can jolt my bones anytime. Nice, I said, picking up another croissant off the plate. Oh, and heres someone from your girl fan base. I stopped examining the pastry and perked up in the bed since I had been writing it for them after all. If youre not stalking him then why dont you just go home? No one wants to hear your shit. Wow, I said, widening my eyes, some sisterhood. Oh, it only gets worse, he assured me. The girls are thinking of calling themselves Stalking Hawkins. Cant we all just get along? I said sarcastically before I bit into the croissant. Apparently not. His eyes widened. The next one says No, its cool. I held up a hand. I got it. Seriously though, we need to do something other than stalk the band, I stressed. I cant take concert after concert. Like what? With or without you, Im going to do some sightseeing while Im here, I insisted since it would be the only

With or without you, Im going to do some sightseeing while Im here, I insisted since it would be the only sane thing I was doing now that I found myself in this crazy crossfire of he said, she said. Sightseeinghow about shopping instead? he offered. Deal. I popped the last remaining piece of the croissant in my mouth and rolled off the bed. Riley slicked back his damp hair, grabbed up his black duffle bag and tucked his computer underneath his arm. After glancing around the room for like a nanosecond, I stepped into the hallway. Riley on the other hand moaned, Goodbye, five star hotel. I will miss you. Living in the van is not that bad, I said as I pulled out my cell phone and Riley finally exited the hotel room. Whatever you say. He heaved a sigh. Im going to text Lizzie to see if she wants to come along. And Ill take those. He reached out for his dark aviators that were on my face, but I gently slapped his hand away mid-text. I need these more than you, I reminded him. Ah, so true, so true. He smirked. Turning down the hallway, away from the elevators, I looked back at Riley and waved for him to follow me towards the stairwell. Where are you going? Riley stopped, thinking I must have gone the wrong way. No more elevators for today. I rolled my eyes while thinking about Hawkins locking me in one of them earlier. Okay. He laughed while following behind me to the steps. That was fast, I mumbled to myself when Lizzie texted me back. It says shell meet us at the van. We headed down the steps and exited the side door of the hotel. Once outside, I grimaced from the brightness, even with the aviators on. It was another hot summer day without a single breeze in the stagnant air. Perfectly sculptured evergreen trees framed the outer edges of the parking lot. A line of tour buses glistened in the sun along the back of the lot. In front of it were two lanes of expensive vehicles. You would have thought it was a Mercedes car dealership if it wasnt for my pale blue clunker mixed in with them. I looked back and forth questioningly at the parking lot. Where were all the fans? Last time the parking lot was filled with them. A girl hollered, followed by a few low whistles, catching my attention. I searched for the source and discovered that the entrance was roped off, keeping the fans out. I didnt know why the fans were being pushed back to the edge of the hotel today. I thought about Hawkins warning that now wasnt a good time to be around the band and became instantly afraid. How unsafe was unsafe? Opening the door, I recoiled from the heat coming out of the van. I tossed the keys over to Riley who opened his door and mirrored the same reaction so we waited for the van to cool off. Over my shoulder, Lizzie was quickly crossing over to us from the side entrance of the hotel. She didnt even hesitate as she flung back the side door and got into the van. We were both waiting for her to run out of it in a screaming rage, but to our surprise she didnt. Can you hurry? she asked in a small voice from within the van. Riley and I just shrugged at each other before we slowly eased ourselves into the scorching hot van. I shoved the keys into the ignition and turned it on. Trying not to touch the hot steering wheel, I floored the gas to the ground to create some air conditioning the old fashioned way with the windows down. Im so glad to be out of here, Lizzie groaned. Whats wrong? I asked her. Warrens smothering me! she said with exasperation. All he wants to do is talk about hockey. Its a puck and some ice, calm down already. Apparently, The Stanley Cups are going on Stanley Cup, I corrected her. Whatever, once againwho cares, she said. And its all he talks about. I mean I get it, hes a Canadian, blah, blah, blah. I just need a break. She exhaled loudly. So its been hard for you? Nodding sarcastically, I humored her. Yes, she whimpered. I thought that you liked him? Riley asked. I do, I like that hes hot, rich, and famous. I like that the only thing that I would have to worry about is popping out babies for the rest of my life. Oh, to dream, I said. So its been hard for you? Yes, she sulked. So what are you going to do? Go back to Ryan? I was hopeful. I could always move on to Hawkins. She shrugged. He seems okay with just texting, drinking, and avoiding conversations.

Apparently, I added dryly. He had you pretty fired up last night, didnt he? Lizzie noticed. It was the alcohol talking. I dismissed the thought. Yeah, thanks to Kosic. Riley snickered. We just had a couple bad hands. The rest of the night? Lizzie asked skeptically. It does seem a bit fishy now that Im sober. And Hawkins didnt like it, did he? Riley mused. Okay, it would be a lot easier to list the things Hawkins did like. Anyway, Im not going to focus my trip on him, thats your job Riley. Mine is to sightsee, which is coming up. My attention drifted outside to a large, round building with a white domed top and a clock centered over the doorway. Okay, sightseers, that is The Rotunda of UVA, I said, pointing with my finger. It was designed by Thomas Jefferson. He created it in the image of the Pantheon in Rome. That long stretch of land in front of it is called The Lawn. Oh god, you sound like a tour guide, Lizzie groaned as she came up to lean her arms on either side of our seats. Shes just practicing for her mom, Riley commented. Not that it mattered, but I did want to do something other than go to concert after concert. Over there, sightseers, Lizzie announced in her tour guide voice, Is UVAs finest attribute. Riley snickered as we approached a group of guys jogging down the side of the road. Now, thats what Im interested in getting out and seeing more of. Lizzie nodded and tapped Rileys shoulder. How about you? They both pealed into a fit of laughter. The Historic Downtown Mall will have to suffice, I muttered to myself as we pulled into the parking lot behind Main Street in downtown Charlottesville. I hope they have a book store. But you have a Sony Reader. Riley picked it up. I know, I just love the smell of an old book store and the feel of the crisp pages along my fingertips. Okay, okay. Lizzie stopped me as we exited the van. We got it. We headed down an overly crowded sidewalk that opened up to what was probably once a street, but had been turned into an outdoor mall at least a century earlier. The walkway hummed with people going in and out of stores that were tightly packed side by side. The jingle of bells could be heard as the shoppers came and went out of the buildings. Up ahead was a bookstore, and I headed straight for it since I finished my last book three concerts ago. Riley and a reluctant Lizzie followed behind me. How can you read when there are so many other things to do on this tour? Lizzie asked. Clearly, I said dryly at the mention of things to do. A bell jingled announcing our presence when we walked through the door. The room was filled with floor to ceiling book shelves. Large, wooden tables filled the span of the room all the way to the back where a counter was stationed. A man in a bright yellow tie behind the counter greeted us with a warm smile. Examining the spines of the books, I realized that they kept the history, psychology and other non-fiction selections on the first floor. I walked the length of the room and swung around to my left where a wooden staircase curled to the second floor. Venturing up the steps, I found the fiction section. Lizzie hung closely behind me out of boredom, but Riley lingered at his own pace. Just then the bell on the door jingled again while I looked along the mysteries. I didnt fully realize how much sound traveled in the old building until I overheard, She said that when she took a hit from him, that we were all taking a hit. I froze with a book in my hand. I cant believe that theyre just letting her put him down like this on their own website. Riley climbed the steps while mouthing, Oh, my god. Well, I hope that I get the chance to meet her, the sassy one said. I have a few things Id like to say. We glanced over at Lizzie who was leaning against a nearby table with her arms crossed while looking thoroughly bored. What? she asked, clearly clueless. Where do they keep the fiction? the girl asked as Riley and I bugged our eyes out at each other. I covered my mouth to stop myself from laughing as we both grabbed up a bewildered Lizzie and started to escort her down the stairs as quickly as possible. What the hell, you guys? Lizzie complained as the girl swung around the front of the steps. We came to a startled stop three-fourths of the way down, but the girls attention was still back on the rest of her friends. We

regrouped into a single file line, with Lizzie in the middle, and continued down the rest of the stairs. I had time to notice the girls navy blue prep school uniform. If it wasnt for the diamond stud nose piercing, I would have wondered how she could possibly be a fan of the band. We made it down the rest of the stairs and passed the first girl, but another one rounded the corner and looked at Lizzie quizzically. Wait, isnt that the girl? Lizzie, who had enough of being dragged around, whipped her arms out of our grasp. What the hell is wrong with you guys? I cant believe it. The sassy one narrowed her eyes with the realization. She rushed toward us as Riley shook his head and murmured, Oh, shit. I continued to walk towards the exit so Lizzie would follow, which worked at first. Hey, you! she shouted at Lizzie. Not Stalking Hawkins! Lizzie turned around to look back at the girl. Are you talking to me? Do you hang out with The Grimm Brothers Band? She whipped her scarlet red hair over her shoulder and crossed her arms. Yeah? She looked at Lizzie, who was wearing a loose, white tank and low rider, washed-out denim shorts paired with knee-high boots. Well, he was right, she said condescendingly while looking Lizzie up and down. You do look like a hooker. Excuse you? Lizzie adjusted her expression from thrown to pissed. We were just leaving. Riley went to pull Lizzie away. No, wait a minute. Lizzie broke away from his grasp. Did you hear what that bitch just said to me? Ah, yeah. I buried my face in my hand. Every word. You dont represent me or any other girl. Miss Sassy Pants pinched her face up with another disapproving glance down the length of Lizzie. I would seriously hope not. Lizzie half laughed. Youre pasty white, in need of a serious dye job, and youre so short that it might technically be called a disability. Im not even sure if that stud in your nose is real. The girl instinctively reached up to touch her face, but stopped. Lizzie glared down at her navy blue prep uniform. Besides, it cant be good for business when youre eating all of the cookies that the other girls are trying so hard to sell from door to door. Youre right I dont represent you or any other girl, Lizzie said dismissively as she turned and exited the bookstore with us right behind her. Whoa, ho! Riley snickered as he came up behind us. Tell us what you really think, Lizzie. What was that all about? Lizzie asked accusingly. The short or very long version? I groaned. The one that gets to the point, Lizzie snapped. Joies review made it on the website, Riley filled her in. Hawkins retaliated by tweeting a response. Joie posted a comment to his tweet on the message boards which has had about ten thousand hits by now. Really? I asked, stunned by the growth since yesterday. Yes, really, he replied as we walked down along the strip of stores. What does this have to do with me and that little midget back there? Lizzie said, cutting to the chase. Joie uploaded your photo to go along with the comment so now everyone thinks that you are her, Riley explained. Why did you upload my photo? Lizzie asked me. Umm. Riley and I looked at each other, trying to be as sensitive as possible since Hawkins dissed her. Oh, I get it. Lizzie looked like something was slowly dawning on her. You didnt want to upload your own photo. Stopping with my hand raised, I took a minute while absorbing the comment to make sure she meant to insult me. As she continued to just stand there and stare at me, I realized she meant what she had said so I let her have it. No, Lizzie, I uploaded your photo because Hawkins tweeted that he didnt want you hanging around them at the hotel. Crossing my arms, I thought so much for being sensitive. He what? She blinked at us. He dissed you so we uploaded your photo to show the world how clearly his judgment was off, but the website thought that I was sending them a picture of myself and put the picture with my comment. How many hits? Lizzie asked Riley. Last time I checked it was over ten thousand, Riley explained. But its not showing any sign of dwindling down. And they all think that its me? Lizzie smiled with the realization. You should look over whats been written before you enjoy your fifteen minutes of fame, I warned her. It isnt

You should look over whats been written before you enjoy your fifteen minutes of fame, I warned her. It isnt flattering. I know everything I need to know by that little fight you had with Hawkins last night. She laughed. What are you talking about? I havent seen so much pent up sexual frustration since the night that I lost my virginity. She smiled while looking dreamily ahead as we continued to walk past the stores. Ten thousand hits?! Yes, Lizzie, Riley and I groaned in unison. So when are you writing your next comment? Lizzie asked me while clearly delighted with any fame that may come her way no matter how bad. The next time he posts anything unflattering about me. And when he does, Riley interjected like he had been waiting for the right moment to spring this on me. My boss is willing to offer you a job to blog about your experiences with Hawkins. I still get to keep my job writing the reviews. Youll just be in charge of behind the scenes action now. And you said yes? I asked in a moment of horror. If he bashes and you respond, I thought you should at least get paid for it. Riley grimaced. This is a big opportunity for me, Joie, Lizzie sang. Oh, no, I murmured while turning to head back down past the trinket shops in the direction of the van. This was supposed to be the fun part of the trip, at least for me, but this conversation was ruining it. Whats the problem? Lizzies long legs doubled back to me in seconds. Just dont want to be part of a marketing strategy, I said. And besides, I promised Hawkins. Wait a minute, so he called you a prostitute and you feel like you owe this guy something? He called us prostitutes. I looked at Lizzie. Did she really know what it would all entail? Did she realize the drama that I knew would surely follow after another one of my blogs? That Girl Scout back there is just the tip of the ice berg, I warned her. Then I should have some say in your decision making, Lizzie countered. I vote yes, Riley? This isnt a democracy, I said, turning the last corner of the building before making it back to the parking lot. This is my life. Which is ironic considering that youre trying to figure out what you want to do with it, Lizzie offered. Blogging on a website isnt going to help me and Im not doing it anymore unless there is a real reason to, like if Hawkins humiliates me again, I said with the voice. The voice I used that warned them to shut up or it was about to get very heated. Not that I owed Hawkins anything, but unlike Lizzie, I didnt like the drama that came along with this. Once back on the road, we followed sign after sign towards the venue only to sit in concert traffic for over an hour before we parked. Riley and I got out to stretch our legs before we shut the doors and came around to the side of the van. We sat on either side of Lizzie and tailgated with all the other concert goers. Everyone else was in their folded out chairs at the end of their vehicles basking in the hot sun. They drank, talked, and scoped out the other fans that were walking by. Have It Your Way, a song by The Grimm Brothers Band, could be heard blaring out of a green Jeep Wrangler a couple spaces down from our van. We had a few minutes before we needed to be in the venue so I looked on the internet for a book to download since my Sony Reader had a light which made it perfect for the concert. After I was finished, I tucked it into the back of my jeans before pulling my tank top over it. What are you doing? Riley asked. Im going to try to get it past security, I explained. Youre going to read at the concert?! Lizzie shrieked. No, I would rather watch Hawkins all night. Rolling my eyes, I said, Its fine, no ones going to notice. This is so embarrassing. She exhaled loudly. Its not that much bigger than a BlackBerry. I held it out for her to see. Whats the big deal? We dont even have the kind of time it would take to explain, she quipped as we left the van and started to follow the crowd towards the amphitheater. Lizzie looked hopeful that I would get caught with the Sony Reader in security, but once the lady saw it at the check point, she gushed, What are you reading? Lizzie slumped down from her normal tall stature and rolled her eyes. Tucking it back in my jeans again, Riley led the way past the t-shirt stand. As much as I hated Hawkins, I knew I should get a new t-shirt. I think I took the pack light terminology too literal. I either needed a few more clothes or we needed to stop at a laundry mat soon. Maybe I could get a Larks t-shirt? Though, I seriously didnt need to press Lizzie right now. Riley approached the staff that greeted us at the entry to the lower pavilion. We showed them our tickets and headed across the aisle to our seats.

seats. By the way, no one has enough to call dibs on Hawkins, right? Lizzie asked. Silently, I pleaded the fifth. Then we agree that hes fair game? she asked. Maybe youll have better luck with him. Seriously, maybe I should get that Larks t-shirt. I dont need luck. Hell be like putty in my hands. We continued to venture down to our aisle when I noticed a few girls eyeing Riley further down the row. He motioned for us to inch along behind him. The girls quickly picked up their drinks and got up for us as we passed by them. Riley was in his own world (shocker) which made him come off as the typical arrogant guy, though I knew better. They looked at Lizzie and then at me as if they were trying to figure out the relationship scenario. It was just a hunch, but I think I got the little sister role next to Lizzie. That was until Riley wrapped an arm around the back of my chair after we had gotten comfortable in our seats. Just for my self-esteem I aimed a smirk in their direction. Did you notice your fan base over there? Riley chuckled. Looking to my far left, I saw two girls dressed in shirts that read, Stalking Hawkins. Wonderful. I rolled my eyes. I guess at the end of the day you didnt get through to anyone, Riley smirked, but Hawkins. It would seem that way, I agreed. The venue erupted into loud cheers as the members of The Larks crossed the stage. Lizzie was already flirting with the guy behind us as Ryan picked up his drum sticks. The band played as the sun started its decent over the horizon. Lizzie tried to look thoroughly bored as Riley and I bobbed our heads along with the music. At the end we all stood up, except for Lizzie, and applauded them as they walked off the stage. After the sun set I felt safe to pull out my Sony Reader. I saw the muscle in Lizzies jaw twitch from the stress my behavior was causing her. Karma sucks, I thought. At least now shed know how it felt to be on my side of the embarrassment for once. Everyone started to stand in anticipation for the band, but I was already immersed in my book again. So when the band finally crossed the stage to the immense pleasure of the crowd, I stayed down in my seat. Who was seriously going to notice? My friends should just be thankful that I drove them here. Did they forget that I was only here to avoid my mom? Lizzie tried to get my attention by slapping my shoulder, but I just pushed her hand away. Gosh, shes paranoid. Looking back down at my electronic book, I felt Riley nudge me this time. I cant believe shes reading a book, someone said sharply behind me. Put the book down! another person snapped. There were a few boos around me when I finally looked up. Lifting my eyes without moving my head, I said a quick prayer that everyone was seriously not staring at me. My eyes focused on Hawkins who had his palms out like he was animatedly reading an invisible book before he licked his finger and flipped the page. Nonchalantly I rolled my eyes and slowly got up. Tucking the Sony Reader in the back of my jeans again, I exaggeratingly clapped my hands, but he just continued to look down at me intently. I held my hands out like, what? Looking up at him, I then glanced over at Lizzie who was fuming and then to Riley who wouldnt even make eye contact with me. Let us borrow just a moment of your time, Hawkins said sarcastically into the microphone as the crowd roared to life. Anytime! I heard a girl yell behind me while I bit my lip nervously. Whenever youre done reading the chapter, he held up his hand like take your time, well start the concert. With a quick flip of my wrist I gave him the middle finger. He threw his head back and laughed. Smiling at me, he turned around to face Blakely. He cocked his shoulders back to adjust the strap of his guitar and paused to compose himself before he hit the first chord. The lights on the stage flashed up above and the crowd roared excitedly again. Hawkins grabbed onto the microphone and sang, Love in an elevator, livin it up when its goin down. Riley nudged me and mouthed, Oh, my god! What? I mouthed back over the loud music, but he just widened his eyes at the stage then looked back at me. I looked up at Hawkins, who locked eyes with mine as he sang, Love in an elevator, lovin it up, til I hit the ground. There was an edge of sarcasm in his voice as he sang the song when it suddenly hit me that he was singing about our elevator ride. It didnt exactly sound like love in an elevator as much as it sounded like pure torture. I didnt understand why he would make such a big deal out of this? What happened to forgive and forget? Lizzie darted a sideways glance over at me as Hawkins continued to give me his undivided attention. I swear it

was the only time the girl had ever sized me up though I wanted to laugh because Hawkins was really only up to his usual belittling antics. She definitely must have thought it was serious since she discreetly took both backstage passes with her at the end of the night. After the concert was over, she assured us, Dont wait up. So that was some elevator ride, huh? Riley swung an arm over my shoulder as we exited the amphitheater. It was really not that big of a deal. Hawkins seems to think otherwise. He was just trying to irk me like usual. Yeah, sure, so what really happened? Riley teased as he tugged my shoulder. Huh? Nothing, I promise you. We just made an agreement. If anything, I remembered feeling a little harassed in the elevator, not exactly taken with him. Sounds like Hawkins has a little crush, Riley continued. I dont think Hawkins has a chance against Lizzie. When she decides that she wants something or someone, Lizzie doesnt let anything get in her way. Im not so sure. Riley looked at me with a crooked little grin across his face. A guy like Hawkins is looking for the exceptional. He winked. Someone to keep him intrigued, a girl with substance. As enthralling as Rileys theory was, I had been down this road before with Jake. Hot, arrogant guys remain arrogant and the hot factor slowly disappears because of it. Wheres our next concert, again? I tried to change the subject. Ohpossibly in your bedroom, he started to sing. Love in an elevator. Shut it. I playfully slapped him. Ah, huh, he said to himself. I cant wait to see how this all plays out. Two seconds later, I heard a loud beep before he flipped open his phone and looked down at the text. He snapped the phone shut. Lizzies going to their hotel. Wow, that was quick. With Warren, he emphasized. Next time Ill just pretend that its me hes singing to. You know his real fan base. Dont be surprised if I get one of those Stalking Hawkins t-shirts. That made me smile as we got in the van. So will it be a hotel or Walmart tonight? I asked. Not letting me get off the hook that easily he continued, Say hello to Stalking, his left pec flexed, Hawkins, his right pec flexed. Soon he had both of them going up and down as I laughed. Oh, shit, youre better at that than Lizzie. Damn straight, he quipped. I noticed the traffic was starting to move more speedily than usual as I started the van and pulled out of the parking space. We were freshly showered and had slept in a hotel last night so we decided to rough it. We found a vacant grocery store near the highway. Riley and I fought over the bed sheet until I won. Tossing back and forth in a restless semi-sleep, I reasoned that Hawkins couldnt be that much different than Jake; no matter what Riley insisted. Picturing Hawkins singing to me at the concert, full of conceit and arrogance, left no doubt in my mind. Sighing to myself, I thought how much I hated these games. Riley continued to snore loudly beside me so I shouldnt have been able to hear what I thought were footsteps approaching the van. Lifting my head slightly, I glanced through the back window where the curtains didnt block my view of the outside. But all I saw was the wash of fluorescent light cascading down on the empty parking lot. After several minutes of silence, I thought maybe all this Hawkins drama was too much excitement for one night and rolled over on my other side. Staring at the back of Riley slumped over beside me, I thought about how nice it was to have a guy around. I couldnt imagine doing this alone. Sighing to myself, I rolled over on my back again when suddenly my heart caught in my chest. I saw the silhouette of a tall man leaning against the window trying to catch a glimpse of us through the side curtains. Shrinking back from the window and into Riley, I screamed out loud causing Riley to jolt awake and the man to run. Grabbing up the sheet like it was some kind of barrier, Riley asked, What is it? Someone is outside, I whispered. Riley reached across and pushed back the side curtain. I dont see anyone, he croaked in his dazed state as he looked back and forth. Are you sure, Joie? Yes, I hissed. What was he doing? I could only make out his silhouette through the curtains, but I think he was trying to look in on us. Heaving a heavy sigh, Riley continued, I guess were going to have to find another place to sleep tonight? Umm, yeah, like now, I stressed, quickly jumping up, I got behind the wheel and the van roared to life.

Glancing out at the almost empty parking lot, my eyes rested on the nearby woods. Shivering, I rammed the gear into place and sped off.

4. THE AGREEMENT
My body jerked awake as the van hit a couple of bumps on the highway. Groaning, I rolled over to look up at Riley who was driving the van. Must have finally fallen asleep after last nights peeping Tom incident, I realized. Good afternoon, Riley called over his shoulder. What time is it? Time to get up! I was startled when Lizzie turned around in the passenger seat. I pulled the sheet up over my head in protest. Look, you made front page news, she sang while throwing a magazine over my head. You finally have something to comment about now. Recoiling from the unexpected blow, I reached out for the magazine and pulled it under the sheet with me. There, on the cover of one of those gossip magazines was Hawkins with two girls on his left and one on his right: a brunette, a redhead, and a blonde. I read the headline, Hawkins puts the rumors to rest that he only prefers blondes. Ha! I threw the sheet off me for a much needed, whole hearted laugh. Theres a picture of me on the inside, Lizzie gushed.

Oh, hell. Flipping through a couple of pages of the magazine, I came across an article about Hawkins. On the page was a photo of Lizzie from the blog. There was also another photo of the girls from the cover, capturing them laughing hysterically at something Hawkins probably did not say. The article read, Hawkins claims that Lizzie McIntyre, otherwise known as Not Stalking Hawkins, is a mentally disturbed, delusional fan who he has never met. Just a groupie who is riding on his coat tails while seeking the attention that follows The Grimm Brothers Band each summer tour. Oh, that arrogant son of, I mumbled. Keep reading, it only gets better. Lizzie smacked her bubble gum. Meanwhile, a source close to the band claims that Hawkins and the girl in question have met before and on more than one occasion, including a late night rendezvous at his hotel that ended badly. After seeing him at the Milo Club adorned with girls of every shade of hair color, one can only wonder if Lizzie McIntyre is just suffering from scorned pride. Ha! I exclaimed. Hawkins, wanting to put a stop to the rumors, stated, Her fifteen minutes of fame is definitely up. Others believe that its a marketing strategy timed precisely when The Grimm Brothers Band sales are at an all-time low. This love affair, whether real or not, was the most sought after news this week according to the Google website polls. I looked up from the article. Mentally disturbed groupie? My fifteen minutes of fame? And apparently Im still hooking up with him?! Youre a busy girl. Riley snickered. Did you see my picture? Lizzie asked excitedly while bouncing in her seat. Im going to have to go shopping if Im going to be seen in magazines. I snarled in response then my cell phone went off. The word Mom flashed on the screen. Holy shit, who told her?! Told who? Riley asked. My mom, I squeaked. Who told my mom about this?! Not me, Riley insisted. Lizzie! God, I have more important people to tell, she said while blowing kisses at the sun visor vanity mirror. And Im the mental one? I exclaimed, before answering my cell. Hi Mom, I said, speaking in an overly chipper tone for someone who had just woken up to an embarrassingly detailed article intended to smear her character. Where are you? my mom asked. Where am I? I asked rhetorically so Riley could hear. Virginia Beach. And I repeated without thinking, Virginia Beach, Mom. Grimacing as soon as I said it, anything with beach connected to it sounded like I was goofing off and not figuring out what I was going to do with my life. I dont understand, my mom said with an edge. How do you get college credit for going to Virginia Beach? Its like studying abroad without the abroad part. I winced. Smooth. Rileys shoulders shook with laughter. Sounds like a load of shit, Josephine, what are you really doing? Rubbing my face with my hand I said, The truth is, Mom. The truth is I was grasping for straws when I just happened to look down at the magazine. The truth is that I got a summer job. YES! Lizzie shouted from up front. What? My mom asked. I could tell that my mom believed this even less than the abroad class. No, its true. Im writing for a website. A website for what? I looked down at the cover of Hawkins who was surrounded by girls. A political party for the upcoming election in the fall. When have you ever cared about politics? As of two seconds ago. Wow, Mom, I thought that you would be happy to hear the news. That Im doing something with my life. I am, she said earnestly. Its just so unexpected. Whose campaign are you working for anyway? Whose campaign? I emphasized, looking at Riley for help. Well, the democrat of course.

Whose campaign? I emphasized, looking at Riley for help. Well, the democrat of course. Which democrat? My mom was starting to smell the fear in me from over two hundred miles away. I could tell that my story was hanging in the balance with the answer to this question. Johnson, Riley whispered. Oh, thank god. Johnson, I said. The Nicholas Johnson. She was awe struck. The one, I said. How did you hear about this job? Through a friend, I said vaguely. I heard that they were hiring so I filled out an application on the website and then they contacted me. It sounded like a great way to see the country as well. I dont agree with his health care policy. She found the only negative thing to comment on. Ah, huh. His wife is my mom began to say, but I knew this was only going to lead to more questions that I didnt have answers for. Mom, umm, I have to go, I interrupted her. Were on the move. Saying it like they do in the movies, I noticed Riley was shaking from laughter again. Well, take care of yourself, she said. Youre not going to any protest rallies, are you? No, Mom. Good, she said. I would hate to see you splattered across the front page of the newspaper while making an embarrassing spectacle of yourself. That kind of stuff follows people for years! That would be bad, I said, flipping over the cover of the magazine with Hawkins on it. Love you. Love you too, honey. I felt horrible for lying to my mom as the call ended, but she was absolutely not going to like hearing the truth. Dropping the cell phone on the floor, I rolled over and pulled the sheet up over my head once more. Were on the move? Riley snickered. Virginia Beach? I quoted before pushing the sheet off me again. I need to know everything there is to know about this Johnson guy, like yesterday. Youre in luck; The Grimm Brothers Band is promoting him on their tour, Riley said the first happy news I had heard since waking up to this nightmare. So when are you going to blog your response to Hawkins comments? Lizzie cut to the chase. Im not. I sighed and rolled over on my back to stare up at the ceiling of the van. What do you mean that youre not? The smile quickly faded from her face. Rule number five, dont get in so deep that youre over your head. English? she asked. Its not worth it. You just made that up. Lizzie turned away from me and silently sulked. Pretty much, but my point is this, I explained. The rules were created for a reason. To keep everyone else out, Lizzie muttered. The way Jake did when he kicked you out of that party while filming it for YouTube. You dont have to shove it down her throat. Riley glared over at Lizzie. We were all there. Yes, because of that, I whispered to myself. It got a little over two thousand hits, I said brightly. Thats more than the entire enrollment of Preston High. When are you going to get over that? she asked me. It just happened. I rolled my eyes at Lizzie. So Im sorry if I dont want to be subjected to more public ridicule like whats in this magazine. I held it up and then tossed it back down. Last time I checked it was my name written in that article and Im fine with it. Maybe I should be the one blogging from now on. Lizzie shrugged. It cant be that difficult. Fine by me. Anyone need a rest room break? I have to stop to get gas, Riley interrupted our fight. He pulled off at the next gas station and stopped by the pump. After we parked, Lizzie quickly exited the van. I need some air, she huffed before slamming the door shut. After sliding back the side door, I dangled my legs over the side of the van. The humidity hit me in full force and I noticed that there was sand around the outskirts of the parking lot. We were near the ocean already? How long had I been sleeping? As if he could read my thoughts, Riley pulled a folded piece of paper from his back jeans pocket

been sleeping? As if he could read my thoughts, Riley pulled a folded piece of paper from his back jeans pocket while he continued to pump gas. Here, I know how much you like this part. Opening the paper up, I smiled up at him, knowing it was the MapQuest directions. Where are we now? I asked, looking down at it. Were in Hampton, a little over thirty minutes out. Im just glad were as far away as possible from that parking lot. I sighed, remembering last nights scare. You said that you saw someone? Yeah, well, not their face, just their silhouette through the curtain. Youre bound to have the occasional crazy with the cities we visit. Not exactly the safest conditions to live out of a van. Thats if you didnt have me around of course. He smiled, pausing a second before he continued, I know that Lizzie is going about it in all the wrong way, but did you read the article? Did you read what he called you? You think that I should comment? I started to consider the possibility. I wouldnt let him get away with saying those things if it were me, if thats what youre asking. He pulled out the gas nozzle. Especially after the two of you agreed not to comment on each other anymore. He turned back around. It sounds like hes testing you. Just then Lizzie came out of the convenience store like a speed walker while waving another magazine in her hand. Just more of the interview. She slapped a different magazine down on my lap. I looked down at the opened magazine, skimming through the rather painful article for any current news. Hawkins tweeted, I never intended to jolt her bones in any way. Okay, okay, I said until I found it. Hawkins said, I actually feel bad for the girl. Hopefully she can get the help that she needs. Besides that, I would like to set the record straight. I think women are beautiful with all different kinds of hair colors and little girls with egos too big to fit in an elevator arent. Both of them were silent as I took the unexpected blow. I knew that it shouldnt have hurt. He had called me unattractive before, but that was when I had raccoon eyes and a purple hooker shirt. Who knew what else he had said that didnt get published? I had to admit, someone mark it down, Lizzie was right. Wheres the computer? I asked. Yes! Lizzie jumped up and down excitedly. Riley merged on the highway again as I booted up the computer in the back. Dont bite the hand that feeds you, Hawkins, Lizzie said while rubbing her hands together in a scheming kind of way. Wait, hold up, I said to her. That was good! Just give me two seconds. Logging onto the section of the site reserved for employees only, I wiggled my fingers over the keyboard. Im ready. Ten minutes later, after everyone helped, we had ourselves a contending blog to Hawkins thoughtless babble. I read it aloud for all of us to review. Yes, I have rules which include; not taking candy from a stranger, not taking a ride from a stranger, and not going to a hotel room with a stranger! And, if the world must know, I was invited! I know that it hurts to be turned down, but welcome to the real world, buddy. If it wasnt for us coattail riders, there wouldnt be a summer tour. Im not talking to his fan base now when the only thing he really cares about is Jack and Coke. Forget about your hair color, girls, because the only action youll be getting is watching him down another drink while texting away on his BlackBerry all alone. I dont feel sad for him anymore, just regret. After reading it, I put my hand on the mouse and dragged it over to the send icon. Here goes nothing. I then clicked the mouse and watched the blog pop up on the editing boards of the website. He should watch who he messes with, I said under my breath. We were giggling with euphoria as we drove to the concert. I was satisfied with what I had written in my blog, but I felt a little more nervous with each passing minute. I would be in Hawkins territory at the venuehis backyard and frankly, way too close to the stage. Not that I thought he would have me personally escorted out of the pavilion, though it did run through the irrational part of my mind once or twice. Yet I would only look weak to blog about him and then not show up to face whatever may come, hell or high water. I needed to be brave. I couldnt let Hawkins win this one by being scared. We sat in the concert traffic for a little over thirty minutes while Riley serenaded us with, Girls Just Want to Have Fun. Once we had parked, we opened the side door to the van. Laying on my back, I took in the inviting cool shade. When I heard the sound of voices, I lifted my head to focus on the small huddled group of guys around the side of our van. Arent you that girl from the magazine? a guy asked Lizzie. Groaning, I laid my head back down on the cot again.

Yes, I am, Lizzie said sweetly. She was probably dazzling them with her smile, too. After locking up the van an hour later, we started our hike up to the security line to be frisked. I noticed that we were getting a lot of attention as we headed to our seats. It shouldnt have felt personal since they were looking at Lizzie, but I realized while standing there beside her that it was starting to play tricks on my mind. It felt like they might as well have been looking at me, too. The Larks were already playing when we finally found our seats that felt too damn close to the stage. Then I reminded myself of a few choice words: I think women are beautiful and little girls with egos too big to fit in an elevator arent. The Larks left the stage and with that thought I said to myself, Let the good times roll. Hawkins strutted across the stage and I was prepared to glare back up at him, but I noticed that he didnt look absolutely sinister with rage as I had expected. He strummed the first chord on his guitar and the lights went up. Ten songs later, without a single song directed at me in the set list, I was starting to wonder if he had read the blog yet. I glanced over at Riley to see if I missed something, but he just shrugged. It wasnt until the end of the show that I sensed something was amiss. Thanks for coming out, Hawkins said when his eyes flashed down to mine with a flicker of condemnation across his face. Then, as soon as it happened, it was over, and he exited the stage. The crowd erupted into thunderous applause around us. Lizzie and Riley, who seemed to have noticed the exchange as well, both forced a smile at me. Lizzie was sure that she could put Hawkins in his place backstage if she needed to when she met up with Warren. She assured me several times until we finally went our separate ways. Oh, my god, if looks could kill, I said to Riley. Youd be something crispy and dead. He nodded along in agreement. Just then my cell phone went off in my pocket. Pulling it out, my heart raced when I saw that it was a text from Lizzie. Oh, no. I opened my cell to read it. Meet me backstage. I need to talk to you about something. That cant be good, Riley said after looking down at the text, too. Do you have the other backstage pass? I dont know if I want you going in there alone. Riley hesitated. What could be so important that she would text you to come backstage after just leaving? I dont know, but she wouldnt do it unless it was absolutely necessary. I reasoned and he agreed. We both headed back to the side entrance near the stage. I saw Harrison, Woodley, and Hampton searching the crowd as if they were looking for someone from the backstage door. Maybe we can both get in with this pass? Riley was hopeful as we approached the bodyguards. My stomach dropped when all three of the bodyguards zeroed in on me and opened the door without a moments hesitation. They didnt even check to see if I had a backstage pass on me as I crossed through the doorway. Riley tried to follow after me, but they firmly held him back and closed the door. When I tried the handle I heard behind me, Looking for someone? My heart jumped because I recognized the voice. Closing my eyes, I felt my shoulders slump as I turned around. Hawkins was leaning against a nearby wall. He was dressed in a navy blue shirt with two buttons undone exposing his tan chest. He wore two long, leather necklaces with one silver charm that dangled over his taunt collarbone. Hawkins crossed his arms, revealing his tan hands and clean, short nails. I noticed that in one hand he was gripping a pink encased phone. Wheres Lizzie? Trying to take advantage of the situation with Warren, he stated and I knew all too well what he meant. How did you get her phone? Its not hard to do when shes trying to smother me. He shrugged; his eyes were drawn to mine. I knew that he was closely examining my face for a reaction. So I said, Well, Id be surprised if you still had your phone. A small smile played across his face. You know, I did have to check to make sure. So you brought me back here, why? I thought that we had an agreement, he reminded me. Ah yeah, we did, I crossed my arms, until you broke our agreement. Technically, I didnt break anything. He turned on his shoulder to face me. I said those things before we promised each other in the elevator. So you mean to tell me that between posting my comments that night till the next morning when we made our agreement, that in that small space of time, you had the time to talk to all those magazines? I looked up at him with a

one word expression across my face, please. My publicist called me that morning for my comment. How else would I have known about it in the elevator? You read it on the website? Not that early in the morning, he emphasized with a glance over his shoulder at a passing crew member. How was I supposed to know that technically you didnt break your promise to me? Because I rarely ever go back on my word. He raised his gaze level with mine. I dont know you that well, I said in my defense. Thats funny, he said with the tilt of his head. You act like you do when youre blogging about me. Damn. Just curious, what did I say that pissed you off so much? Who said I was mad? So you wrote that blog out of the kindness of your heart? His dark eyebrows accented the annoyed expression on his face. Before giving it another thought, I decided to confess the truth. Little girls with egos too big to fit in an elevator arent attractive, I exhaled in one long sigh. I felt my shoulders cave and looked away from his penetrating glare. And you cared what I thought? He cracked a smile. Not particularly. Oh, I think you did, he said. No. Yes. No, god. I threw my hands up. What I meant is, that it would be nice if you stopped shoving your expert opinions about me down my throat for once. Ha. He cocked his head back to laugh. Thats a good one. You know, youre a funny girl. He waggled his finger at me. Yeah, ah. He was smiling at me, but not really, before he continued, That Jack and Coke thing was also really funny. Okay? Yeah, I think you and I are going to get along just fine. Crossing his arms, he looked like he was enjoying some kind of personal joke. Baffled, my face twitched with confusion. Oh yeah, you heard me, he continued. It seems as though you and I are going to have a lot of time getting to know each other. What the hell are you talking about? You see, I can be pretty funny, too, he continued without answering me. Smiling to himself, I mean really smiling this time, he added, I think youll agree. Okay, you realize that youve been having a conversation with yourself for the last five minutes, right? I glanced over my shoulder at where I had just come in. Would it be better for you if I walked back through that door and we can try this again? See, right there He waggled his finger at me again. They just cant teach that. You want to know what else they also cant teach, Joie? I have a feeling youre going to tell me anyway. Muttering under my breath, I glanced over my shoulder at the exit again. Class. Whipping my head back around in shock, thinking no, he did not just go there. They just cant teach it, he emphasized, dropping the sinister smile from his face. And Im leaving now, I said, pushing off the wall to go. My record company, he said sharply which stopped me. My record company he repeated like he was still trying to wrap his head around it. Would like to pay you double whatever youre making now to trash me. So this was the private joke, which I now understood wasnt a joke at all. Judging by his behavior, it didnt sound like he had much say in the matter. Clearly waiting for my response, I blurted out, ButIm not doing this for the money. No? Narrowing his eyes into slits, he hissed. So youd do this all for free? It was a mistake. That just keeps happening? He scoffed. I went to explain, but he interrupted me.

I went to explain, but he interrupted me. Dont even answer. He held up his hand. Youre only making this worse. Anyway, youll have free access to me so the details will be even more convincing. Your friend, Miss Hot Pants, will remain my muse. He suddenly looked revolted by the idea. And you will continue to blog about me because, as you so nicely put it, he forced a smile, I need all the coattail riders I can find if I want to continue having a tour this summer. This is not what I want, I confessed. It hadnt been that long since Jake had publicly humiliated me on YouTube. It seemed like I was setting myself up for another round of public humiliation. Oh, come on, its going to be so much fun. He pushed off the wall and approached me. Why are you trying to convince me to do this? I asked him with my chin up while imagining that it gave me at least one more inch of height as he towered over me. Im looking forward to our little meet and greets because as of today when you posted your blog, clearly trying to contain his anger, he muttered, Its on. He held up the phone and I reached out to grab it, but he pulled it back. You are expected to be backstage after tomorrows concert with Miss Hot Pants, he snarled. For your protection, someone will be waiting there for the two of you. They will drive you to the destination of my choosing. What do you mean for my protection? I told you that now wasnt a good time to be around the band, but no, you were insistent. He pushed the phone at me. Now leave before I have someone show you out. Instinctively, I grabbed the phone. Sorry, I cant even stand the sight of you, right now, he snapped. What if I say no? I crossed my arms. Honestly, what could be in this for me? Does your friend like writing reviews of my shows for my official website? he asked, but it was more of a threat than a question. Maybe if your follow up CD had been more successful then none of this would be happening? Before I knew it, Harrison was carrying me over his shoulder all the way to the parking lot as I kicked and screamed. Riley lingered behind while looking thoroughly shocked by the turn of events. Harrison finally put me down and I straightened out my shirt. I held my head up high as I walked over to the van. Riley drilled me with question after question, but I wasnt ready to tell him what had happened, not yet.

5. REVENGE
The next day it was raining so hard that each drop resonated like a loud whapping sound against the metal roof of the van. On the way to pick Lizzie up, the van was stopped by security at the hotels entrance. We explained that our friend was inside with Warren. A dripping wet security man in a clear poncho radioed someone in the hotel while reiterating the embarrassing story. It only sounded worse with all the official communication. Okay, you can proceed, he confirmed while narrowing his eyes to block out the rain. A line of security dressed in clear ponchos pulled back the barricades from the entry to the hotel. After rolling up the window and ignoring Rileys laughter, I passed the line of security into the parking lot. Uselessly, I tried to tell myself it wasnt that bad, but then Riley started jokingly mimicking the security mans voice. Do we have a ho with Warren? he said into an invisible radio. Roger, thats affirmative, over and out, he said in the same gruff voice before we both lost it. Whats up with all the security? I asked him when the laughter finally subsided. The Grimm Reaper. He rolled his eyes. At least thats what this guy, this stalker, is calling himself. Hes been making death threats that has everyone freaked out. Death threats? Apparently, he has information that only an insider would be able to obtain. Thats what my boss said anyway. He shrugged. Everyone has been taking extra measures to protect the band. The talk is that the threats have been that credible. Some think all this drama in the media with Hawkins has only made it worse. How so? What stalker isnt attention seeking? Riley offered. So thats what he meant in the elevator, I said to myself when it suddenly hit me. What? Remember, when Hawkins warned me that now was not a good time to be around the band? He must have meant with this stalker around. Plus, he had mentioned that for our protection he would have someone personally escort Lizzie and I to the places of his choosing. Looking back at the bodyguards who were blocking off the exit, I wondered, Whos going to protect us when were not around him? If you hadnt noticed, Warrens had Lizzie over almost every night. He pressed his lips together and nodded. He really likes her I think, well enough to want to protect her. Wow, thats comforting, I huffed as the rain hit the windshield hard and blurred our view of the hotel. Joie, everyone knows that you would be way too stubborn, and frankly, too proud to accept that kind of help. Knowing that he was right, I just nodded my head in agreement. And who knows, you might be the one to really kill Hawkins in his sleep. Riley grinned over at me. And then theres that, I agreed. What qualifies as a real stalker, anyway? I asked, making light of the situation as Lizzie ran out of the hotel like she might melt from the rain. She was wearing something red and clingy while carrying shopping bags up to her elbows. Only Lizzie would be caught dead in that outfit given the weather circumstance.

circumstance. You mean whats the difference between us and him? Riley laughed. Exactly. Umm, youre getting paid to do it. Great. The conversation I had with Hawkins replayed in my mind as Lizzie crossed over to the van. I told Riley everything. Well, except the threat Hawkins had made about ending Rileys job. Lizzie slid back the door with some difficulty because of all the bags. She dropped them in the back with scattered thuds, hopped up in the back and slammed the door shut. Couldnt you have pulled up any closer?! she shouted at me while shivering like a wet dog. Warren bought these clothes for me, Lizzie said as she shook the water off her arms. If I had driven any closer, I would have been inside the hotel. Whateverplease tell me that you have my phone, she said on the edge of panic. I held up the pink phone and she grabbed at her chest. Thank god. She reached out to snatch the phone from my hands. Just curious, how did you manage to lose it? Perking up in my seat, I watched her through the rearview mirror. I didnt drop it at my seat? No, you didnt. Then how did you find it? She looked even more confused. Glancing over at Riley for a second, I turned the van around in the parking lot. We werent sure if Lizzie could handle knowing that she was Hawkins Muse when just a little fame had made her ego sky rocket. Hawkins found it. I saw her face flush a crimson red in the rearview mirror. Be nice, Riley mouthed to me. It wasnt her fault that Hawkins was on a mission to make my life miserable so I told her about last night. I explained about the meet and greets which I was pretty sure were going to be used against me since he looked just too darn happy about them. Oh, my god! Lizzie gushed as the bodyguards moved the barricades out of the way for us to exit the hotels parking lot. Im glad that I went shopping! Not actually shopping. She half laughed with a wave of her hand. Warren just had them sent out for me like he would have for a coffee at Starbucks. Just one of the perks, she said in an uppity way. He must have known that I was going to be seen. Glaring over at Riley, I was now regretting telling Lizzie anything. Riley just pulled out his invisible radio and said, The eagle is on the move, the eagle is on the move. Now that Lizzies ego had obviously soared to new heights. We said our goodbyes to Virginia Beach and the ocean, pulled onto the highway and headed south to Raleigh, North Carolina. The rain made it difficult to see the highway in front of us, but I was just grateful for the distraction of the road. The windshield wipers were working at top speed as they banged hard back and forth across the windshield. I might just as well have turned them off because they didnt help me see any better. We were slowly tagging behind a set of blurry red tail lights. Still, driving the van stopped me from thinking about less pleasant things like how I got dragged into this mess with Hawkins and Lizzie. Lizzie finally came back down to our level again. It only took two hours, thirty seven minutes, crossing the state line in to North Carolina, and ignoring her until she said something sensible again. Riley was typing his review of the show on his computer when he suddenly jerked his head up and started to fume. He looked over at my concerned expression and explained, They posted my review from the other night. Oh no, whats wrong? My review had this beautiful piece about the shows lighting. I even kept it down to a few sentences instead of a paragraph, he explained. But they deleted the whole excerpt. I could introduce you to Harlow, Lizzie smiled deviously. Then you can take all this pent up frustration out on him. Rob Harlow isnt gay, Riley insisted. Have you met him? Lizzie asked. No, obviously not, have you? Riley darted a look over his shoulder at her. Ive passed him a couple times backstage and not once did he look at me. Rolling my eyes, I said, Clearly, hes gay then. His clothes are impeccable and he definitely has highlights in his hair.

His clothes are impeccable and he definitely has highlights in his hair. Riley debated the idea with a skewed up expression across his face. Nah, Im not that lucky, besides there is so much more to him than just a pretty face. Ah, Lizzie whimpered like a puppy dog. Im definitely going to have to get to the bottom of this for you. Riley and I both gasped. What, do you want to know or not? she asked. Just leave out the details if youre wrong, Riley pointed out. He is my idol. Cross my heart, Lizzie promised before she began to rummage through her shopping bags. You know I have all these clothes back here, she sang to me. Really, Im pretty sure weve tried that one before, I quipped. What ever happened to the purple shirt? Lizzie asked when Rileys eyes got so big that I could almost see the white around them as if to say, dont even go there. Remember, I told you, a hooker stole it right off my back, I said sarcastically, thinking about Hawkins snide comments. Well, I am his muse. She tugged a light blue sequin dress over her head and down her body. So I guess you dont have to look good if you dont want to. My tongue screamed in pain as I bit down to keep myself from saying something we would both regret. My nerves were racing as the concert drew near. Lizzie was going to town with the makeup, reminding me that this wasnt just some kind of nightmare I had imagined. The only power I had was what I was going to write about tomorrow in my blog, and I had to admit to myself that that didnt feel like much. Just then, as if this situation couldnt get any worse, Riley announced, A tweet is up from Hawkins. Damn you, Hawkins! I huffed. I dont know if its such a good idea that I hear it now. Oh, but I want to hear it! Lizzie declared excitedly, moving in to read it along with Riley. Lizzie snorted and then quickly covered her mouth. Im so sorry. I know that I shouldnt be laughing. No, Janet Jackson, you shouldnt be. I thumbed towards the girls. Wardrobe malfunction. Lizzie hiked the dress up over her chest and smirked. Say what you want, at least Im not a hypocrite, she said tauntingly. She said that she didnt want to hear it, Riley hissed. Great, I do now, I said as curiosity won over my self-esteem. Waiting for Riley to finally spill it, I grumbled, Just say it. Okay, here it is, You supposedly have these rules: no backstage visits, no tour buses, no hotelsbut I have yet to see you follow any of them. And the other tweet, Riley continued. Well, get ready to be a hypocrite, you should be used to it by now. Oh, hell. I threw my head back against the seat. So this was how he was going to have his revenge, by breaking all my rules? I knew that he looked way too happy yesterday. So thats it, I whispered. Backstage, hotel, bus What is? Riley asked. Where Hawkins is going to take us for our meet and greets. Why? Lizzie asked. Weve already been backstage and to his hotel. Not planned, I havent. I smiled to myself. Okay, lets not make this all about you, Lizzie added. Im his muse, remember? And with that, I ignored her whether she said something sensible or not for the remainder of the drive. Lizzie, who looked like Tina Turner herself in the sequined mini, stood perched up in between the two of us as we arrived at the amphitheater. After we parked the van, she didnt drink, much to my surprise. I want to remember tonight. I had overheard her say. Lizzies disco ball dress shimmered in what was left of the remaining sunshine as we walked up to the venue. She giggled when she got frisked by a teenage boy who of course blushed. Rolling my eyes at Lizzie so Riley could see, I noticed he looked more subdued than usual, probably because he was going to have to wing it alone tonight. Umm, I have some business to take care of, I said, feeling slightly embarrassed as we approached the t-shirt line. Are you feeling okay? Riley checked my temperature with the back of his hand along my forehead. My options are running thin, I explained to him with my hands out gesturing towards my clothes. Wow, this is sad, Riley agreed. Well, we are kind of living out of a van. A woman behind the counter with short blonde hair and a clear oversized poncho turned to ask me, Which one, honey?

Oh, I dont care, I answered with a hundred percent certainty. She waited patiently for me to decide while the packed line behind us had me pressed up against the counter. That one, that one, I said, pointing to the first ones I saw. And that one. Riley snickered when she held up a black t-shirt with Hawkins face plastered across the front of it. Would you like it in a medium? she asked. Like isnt the word Id use. The smartass in me spoke before I could stop myself and Riley snickered again. Forcing a smile for the lady, who looked confused by my comment, I added, Yeah, thats fine. Ill take that. Riley held out his hand for the bag after I purchased them. You dont have to carry them. So youre going to take these t-shirts with you when you visit Hawkins tonight? That shut me up. Thats what I thought. He smiled. Its cool. We walked among the sea of people dressed in clear and yellow ponchos. Lizzie had made a beeline for the vendors with her fake I.D. in hand when I had bought the god awful shirts. She finally joined us and started slowly sipping her beer as the opening act took the stage. I watched Ryan, behind the drums, look out at Lizzie tonight. She arched her eyebrow in his direction and he looked away. Whats his story? I asked her, remembering him looking absolutely miserable in the same room with Warren and her the other night. What do you mean? she asked. Didnt you really like him? Yeah, I did, she said. But Ryan isnt going anywhere. Everyone knows that The Larks are a one hit wonder. I doubt after this summer that anyone will ask to tour with them again. Not knowing what to say, I leaned my head against Rileys shoulder. Am I killing your game? Yeah, but all the hot ones are straight tonight. He smirked from under his low ball cap. So are you going to point this Rob Harlow guy out to me? He wont be up on stage. Riley thumbed over our heads. Hell be back there. Lifting my head, I glanced behind us where a few guys stood on a platform that dropped down from the top of the pavilion. The lighting equipment was facing the stage in front of the crew. There was a ladder that led up to what I assumed was the entrance and exit to the platform. Hes stealth, Riley explained. Ive actually only seen him once. He comes out when the band comes out, he continued. Way after the sun has set. How are we going to get his autograph then? Thats the million dollar question. He frowned. The crowd around us suddenly exploded into loud applause as The Larks exited the stage. Is it always this depressing without alcohol? Lizzie asked as she watched Ryan leave. Yep, I answered the question she was really asking. She guzzled down her cup of beer in seconds before she plucked Rileys drink out of his hands and continued to do the same. O-kay, Riley said jokingly. Lizzie looked over at me while smacking her lips. I need more. Whoa, whoa, wait, I intervened. Stay focused, I said encouragingly. Remember that you wanted to remember tonight? Lizzie was up and out of her seat, muttering, Remembering is overrated. Oh, no. I closed my eyes briefly when Lizzie stalked off down the aisle. I cant be the only one whos sober along with Hawkins. Maybe hell be drinking, too? Riley offered. No, something tells me hes going to be very, very sober. This night has revenge written all over it, I muttered as I looked back up at the stage. Im not even sure if this is a marketing strategy. I dont think that hes lying about that part. This is the most attention the band has had in years. Why is that? Though Im not a fan of Hawkins, the bands music is really good. Beats me, some say Hawkins has become disillusioned with all of it. That his follow up CD was lacking something, Riley hesitated. Like, a spark? Disillusioned like he might quit? Who knows?

The crowd suddenly boomed to life around us, causing our conversation to come to a halt. Hawkins zeroed in on me as he crossed the stage to the microphone. This song is for Jack and Coke. The crowd burst into laughter. He turned to look my way again and said, I couldnt think of two finer companions. The sold out crowd exploded into cheers and a man behind me shouted, Hell, yeah! Lizzie cheered as she came down the aisle towards us with a drink in her hand. Staring at her for a moment in disbelief, I realized that she was just cheering because everyone else was doing it, too. Riley on the other hand looked like drink.he was in need of another First hit goes to Hawkins, I said under my breath as the lights went up. As the night went on, each song felt personal especially when Hawkins was singing them to me as though we were the only two people in the venue. I doubted the whole lack of a spark theory. Hawkins commanded the stage as if he were Bono himself. I got chills when those brooding eyes focused in on me again. He was a powerhouse on stage which made me feel like a little bitty person. I couldnt help but clap along with everyone else when the band exited the stage at the end of the concert. Wow, that was Riley looked at me while a loss for words. Awesome, yeah, I know, I agreed. Lizzie tugged halfheartedly at her skimpy dress. I realized that I was going to have to check periodically to make sure she was decent. It was amazing that she could walk at all in those heels while intoxicated. She must have had downed four or five cups of beer, but the girl was up and out of her seat like clockwork. Saying a quick goodbye to Riley, I took off after Lizzie who was already down the aisle. Of course, heading towards the backstage was just as normal for her as it was for Riley and me to head back to the van. Racing to catch up with her among the busy crowd, I tapped her shoulder and she jumped. Oh, shit, you scared me. Im supposed to come with you, remember? Sorry, my bad, Lizzie slurred. Heading towards the bodyguard I dubbed as Harrison, he automatically opened the door for her without even a moments hesitation. He was just about to stop me since my backstage pass was still in my back jeans pocket. Who could blame me for not meeting up with Hawkins if I couldnt get past security? Wouldnt you know it, the only coherent moment Lizzie had was when she set the man straight that I was with her. After the door closed, I whirled around and saw a man dressed in a dark suit. Lizzie McIntyre? The tall, stocky man asked. And friend? His cool, blue eyes briefly turned in my direction. Im Joie, I introduced myself, but he quickly nodded like he could care less. Maybe Hawkins told him hed get paid extra if he made every part of my night as miserable as possible. My name is Cyrus Ripley and Ill be your driver for however long my services are needed. He turned to quickly walk down the hallway while jingling a set of keys. We had to practically race to keep up with him. It was a blur of activity because of the backstage crew hurrying by us in the hallway. Which one is Rob Harlow? I asked Lizzie. Who? she slurred. Never mind. Cyrus led us down another hallway until we exited to a back parking lot where a dozen or so tour buses of every color were already parked. He headed over to a black Escalade with tinted dark windows. Where are we going? I asked, hoping to get an answer out of him. Now, that is between Hawkins and me, he replied. Rolling my eyes, I got in the seat next to Lizzie, and he shut the door behind me. Although the Escalade smelled new, it looked like he or someone else had spilled their coffee all down the front of the drivers seat. Cyrus quickly patted down the seat with a small towel. He caught me staring at him and discarded the towel to the side. Its just been one of those days, he grumbled before getting in behind the wheel. The words, I know how you feel, almost left my mouth, but I didnt want that to get back to Hawkins. The gravel crunched underneath the wheels of the SUV as he drove the Escalade down a line of parked buses to the exit. We came to a slow stop about five yards away from a gate that was patrolled by two men dressed in black uniforms. The tinted window receded with a silky sound so he could extend his arm to hold up a pass of some sort. One of the men nodded and the fenced gate pulled back on a sliding shaft. Soon we were ushered into a lane and quickly passed the other traffic at the venue. Watching the stopped vehicles, I felt bad for Riley. He would be somewhere in the van behind us while neck and neck with the other cars that were going nowhere fast. Lizzie grabbed my hand in a moment of excitement. Her sequined dress reflected little lights like a disco ball along the back of the seat and across my lap. Once away from the gates, Cyrus seemed to calm down. So are you two friends with the band? he said in an attempt to make small talk. Friends with benefits. Lizzie laughed.

Friends with benefits. Lizzie laughed. Ohh. Cyrus smiled. And you look so innocent. I like to mix it up. Lizzie flipped her hair off her shoulder. I bet you do, he said suggestively. Umm, still in the car over here, I thought. Apparently, he wasnt getting paid to make us miserable unless flirting with Lizzie counted. Cyrus was watching Lizzie more than he was watching the road as he weaved in and out of traffic like a speed demon. He finally merged off the highway and drove us down a busy street before he pulled the Escalade over in front of a club of some sort. With my hand on the door, I started to exit the Escalade when I saw a group of photographers hovering by the clubs doorway. One of them turned and pointed excitedly at our SUV, but I quickly got back in before Lizzie could even get out. Is there a back entrance? I asked, slamming the door shut behind me. Yes, of course. Cyrus pulled away from the curb. Leaning back in my seat, I was thankful that the SUV had tinted windows as the cameras flashed. God, if my mom ever found out what I was really doing. Cyrus waited at a stop light before he made a right and then another right down a small street littered with parked cars on either side before we reached the back of the club. After managing to help Lizzie out of the Escalade with her dress still in place, I shouted over my shoulder at Cyrus, Thanks! Afraid that the paparazzi could smell our scent a mile away, I quickly ushered Lizzie into the back door. Music was booming inside the club as we entered through the back. Spotting the bouncer, I was hopeful that we were about to get carded, but he just winked at me like he was expecting us. Backstage after party? He checked with us. Yeah, I said, exhaling to myself, that sounds about right. He then led us over to a nearby stairwell, unlatched a black velvet rope, and gestured us up the stairs. The last doorway, he added as Lizzie and I passed him and walked up several flights of stairs until we reached the roof. Once on top, it was as though we were transported to a fantasy world in India. A small central garden was surrounded by a rectangular cranberry couch that wrapped around its exterior. In various corners of the roof were elevated platforms with large overstuffed pillows in brilliant hues of turquoise, silver, and grays that were nestled next to twinkle-lighted trees. Those less adventurous could choose one of the groupings of dark wicker chairs that were placed near a fully stocked bar. Small lanterns reflected a golden sheen across the darkened tiles below as sitar music played in the background. This is the life, Lizzie gushed. It took me a few minutes until I saw Hawkins settled on a crimson couch in the middle of what looked like western Eden. He was surrounded by an adoring group of girls that seemed to be hanging on his every word. There, beside him, was one brunette and one blonde who were both wearing white t-shirts that hugged their humungous fake boobs. Hard as it was for me to believe, one said, Jack, and the other said, Coke. Nice. I smiled. Just then the girls laughed at something Hawkins had said as his eyes glanced across the crowd in my direction. Looking away before he could catch me spying on him, I faked a yawn and pretended to be interested in Lizzie who was hitting on some guy at the bar. Feeling annoyed, but acting bored, I heard Hawkins say as he approached me, So you actually showed up? I didnt realize that any of this was optional? Just making small talk. A devious smile crossed his face. Just then a girl with blonde hair and a silver, skimpy dress that barely covered the essentials approached him. J.T. Hawkins! He gave her a curt nod, but the girl was beyond herself. Can I get your autograph?! Hawkins flashed a smile before he signed his name on a napkin. After the blonde was ushered away, another girl approached. He exchanged a tense look with Harrison, the nearby bodyguard, before quickly signing another autograph and turning away from the girl. Lets see if we cant find somewhere more private to talk. He led me over to a vacant platform with large turquoise pillows. Harrison, a professional, blocked any unwanted company in front of us. Hawkins bent down and sat on a pillow pulling his legs towards his chest. I looked down at the small space beside him and hesitated. What, do I have cooties? A glint of amusement lit up his eyes. Actually, that is exactly what I was thinking, I said, rolling mine. I sat down and due to the tight space was instantly pressed up against him. Well, this is cozy. He smirked before taking a sip of his drink. His striped red and gray button down shirt was

Well, this is cozy. He smirked before taking a sip of his drink. His striped red and gray button down shirt was flattering next to his dark hair. Now that I was sitting beside him, I realized that he was as tall as Riley, but just a fraction leaner. So you were saying? He tilted his head my way. Umm, I dont even remember, I mumbled while watching Harrison who continued to block off anyone who attempted to approach us. You asked if this was optional, Hawkins reminded me. Exhaling loudly, I asked, Why are we here, exactly? So you can write something accurate about me for once. He aimed a smile at me and then instantly dropped it. Oh, I doubt anyone who knows you thinks what Ive written wasnt true. I shot back. See, thats what I dont understand. Where do you get off thinking you know me well enough to say anything about me? Because of the way you treated me in the elevator, I explained. Its not exactly rocket science to come to the conclusion that youre full of yourself. Arrogantyou said arrogant, he corrected me. And what was the other descriptive adjective that makes me assume you must have the extensive vocabulary of a fourth grader? He paused before continuing, Oh, thats right, smug. You said I was smug. Exactly, thanks for proving my point. Im smug because I wasnt interested in hooking up with you? he asked skeptically. First of all, it was the way you handled the situation, like I wasnt standing there right beside you, but most of all it was the way you assumed that I would want to hook up with you in the first place. And Im smugyoure not exactly hard to figure out either, you know. Oh, really, I said with an edge, thinking, this ought to be good. You and those precious rules of yours, he said. What about them? I chose to humor him. You see, I have my own set of rules, too, I guess you could say. He shrugged. They may not be as extreme, or as self-indulgent, as yours, but I understand them. And yourswell, yours are about not losing control. Like what? Please enlighten me You dont drink, well, not unless Kosic encourages it. He smirked, clearly knowing how this would get underneath my skin. What if Im just waiting for Lizzie to bring me over one? Youd be waiting here till hell freezes over. He nodded over at Lizzie, who was working the same man for drink after drink at the bar. She only cares what she can get for herself, if you hadnt noticed? Wow, you figured out that I dont drink. Im just an open book to you, arent I? No, actually, youre not, he admitted. Really, what havent you figured out yet? Why are you following us around on this tour? He looked over at me intently. I had the money, the means, and the vehicle. I kept it vague on purpose. Yeah, thats why Im here, too, he stated. Okay, if you dont want to answer that one, how about telling me why are you hanging out with that one? He gestured towards the bar where Lizzie was still getting her fill. What do you mean? Weve been best friends forforever. Ah, huh, he hummed. If you say so. I could ask you, why youre hanging out with girls like that? I stared over at Jack and Coke. Its purely physical. He winked. I scrutinized the girls. That just doesnt seem like enough to do it for you. And you would know what does it for me? he asked suggestively as his eyes twinkled with mischief. My face suddenly flushed. At least theyre not going to kiss and blog. He grinned. Thats because theyre illiterate and probably cant even spell. I bet you even had to arrange them around you so that it would read, I waved my hand over at the girls, Jack and Coke. Damn it, how did you know? They just went back to Coke and Jack. I nodded towards the girls. He followed my gaze and sure enough they were arranged the wrong way. Hawkins had a good laugh at that. These girls werent his type and we both knew it. So what else do you want to know? He looked amused with our twenty/twenty questions.

Why do you look so miserable all the time? I genuinely wanted to know. I look miserable to you? The smile quickly faded from his face. Its justI dont think you got into the music business for the same reasons as Warren. Careful what you say, he warned. Warren is my friend. What I mean is, you dont come across as the typical rock star thats only in it for the girls and the drugs, I ventured a guess. Maybe not, but youre wrong about Warren. Hes a decent, good guy who makes pitiful choices. I dont know how your friend managed to claw her way in, I caught him glaring up at Lizzie at the bar, but hes in love with her and she is Not, I finished his thought. Yep. His jaw tensed as he stared down at the ground. We were quiet for a moment. Both of us seemingly surprised that we shared the same view point on the matter. Well, this went better than I thought it would, he admitted. I didnt think youd be able to handle it. Im pretty direct and usually make most girls cry. Theres always tomorrow. There is. He patted my knee. Thanks for the pep talk. With that said, let the games begin. He sighed. The amusement in his expression returned in full force again as he gently knocked his shoulder into mine. I completely agree, how else are you going to get paid? He bit his lip while shaking his head and then turned to lock eyes with mine. Wow, I can honestly say that I have never met a girl like you before. Am I supposed to be offended? Very, I have met a lot of people. He flashed a megawatt smile. Well, I really have to get back to my Jack and Coke. Why dont you just kick back with a beer and enjoy the rest of your night? Hell, Ill even buy you your first drink. He pulled out his wallet from his back pocket. Anything to help you unwind. And the second hit goes to Hawkins, I said under my breath while watching him head over to the bar. He only had to flick two of his fingers to get the bartenders attention. Soon he was back with two bottles of beer in his hands. After I stood up and took the bottle out of courtesy, we said cheers, but he watched my reaction as we both took a swig of beer. With my poker face perfectly in place I revealed nothing of the utter disgust that was foaming in my mouth. Yet, his eyes still looked humored with me somehow. Lizzie came at us with a running start, demonstrating how drunk she was. Hawkins jaw clenched at the sight of her. Im sure with this one, he pointed to her, something will be tweet worthy by the end of the night. Lizzie wrapped an arm around my shoulder. Her sequined light blue dress made her look like she had been paid to entertain the crowd, a lot like the other dancers. If it isnt the one and only J.T. Hawkins, Lizzie sang. Try to enjoy yourself. Hawkins forced a smile for me before quickly leaving. Hes no fun, is he? Lizzie sulked. I bet those girls would disagree, I said sarcastically as I watched Hawkins walk back over to them. Lets see if we can get a seat in this place. I changed the subject when I realized the pillow we had once occupied was now taken by a group of giddy girls. He was sitting right here! one of the girls exclaimed while cheesing really big. Rolling my eyes, I turned around and began to move through the crowd. I didnt realize that I had already lost Lizzie to some tall, dark and handsome Italian guy until halfway over to a vacant spot. Feeling out of place, I whispered to myself, Wheres Riley? I dont know where Riley is, a familiar voice said behind me, but Im enjoying the view. Turning around, I spotted Kosic smiling at me. He was dressed in a white button down shirt and dark jeans. His short, dark hair was stylishly tousled. There is a lot to look at. Laughing, I gestured at the belly dancers around us. But yet, my eyes are only on you. His green eyes twinkled and I beamed up at him. Do you want to sit down with me? He motioned over to a large, silver pillow. Gladly. We sank into a comfortable side by side position. Strangely, it didnt feel as intimate as it had with Hawkins. But I didnt have much time to think about it because now that we were seated, I realized that I had an even closer view of Hawkins with the girls. Hawkins glanced over at us before he downed the rest of his drink. For a fleeting second, I thought that I saw a flash of fury in his eyes when ours locked for just a brief moment before he turned back to the girls and said something that made them laugh. He snuggled in between Jack and Coke while laughing, too.

Looking back at Kosic, I noticed his eyes move from me to Hawkins. Did Hawkins invite you here tonight? No, I confessed. Not in the way that you mean. Really? Could have fooled me. He smiled, but it didnt reach his eyes. What? You two just looked, he paused, chummy. Yeah, well, were not, pausing myself, I said, umm, chummy. For a minute there, I thought I wasnt even going to get a chance to talk to you. If I were him, I wouldnt have left you alone to go sit with those girls. They have more to offer, I added jokingly. I like girls who are, umm, real. Kosic! What? He smiled. I mean girls who are deep, worldly, you know, real. Ah, huh. I smiled. Besides, I have to look out for you, he said. After all, youre still my best friends little sister. Look out for me from whom? Hawkins? Yeah, you dont want him to start tweeting about you the way he does about Lizzie, do you? Laughing for a moment, I agreed, That would be, I nodded, a travesty. Things might get physical if I ever find out that he has, Kosic warned. Why? I can handle myself, I stressed. You know I did grow up, Kosic, since I last saw you. There will always be a side of me that feels, he looked into my eyes, protective of you. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw a fire thrower come dangerously close to us. The flame was closer to Kosic so I pulled him over to me, but somewhere in the confusion he misunderstood my intentions and kissed me. I came up breathless and thoroughly embarrassed by the sudden public display of affection. Kosic just stared with a shocked and slightly hurt expression as I pointed in the direction of the fire thrower behind him. He turned around and saw the man over his shoulder before he recoiled into me again. My eyes flashed over to Hawkins who mirrored my expression of surprise by the turn of events. Suddenly, the paparazzi moved in, partially blocking our view from each other. They snapped photos of Hawkins with the infamous Jack and Coke girls, but his eyes stayed fixed on me as the cameras flashed around him. A cool, hard expression suddenly crossed his face before he looked away, leaning back and wrapping his arms around the girls for the cameras. Im so sorry, Kosic said, bringing me back to the situation at hand. No, its okay, I lied. I did grab on to you, I reminded him. I thought that it was a bit forward for you, but hell, I rolled with it. He laughed. Although I was laughing for Kosics benefit, I scanned the crowd looking for Lizzie now that the paparazzi were in the club. My stomach flip-flopped with fear when I saw Lizzie mounting a small circular platform intended to be used as a stage for the fire throwers. Sorry, excuse me, I apologized to Kosic before I was up and off the pillow. Lizzie started dancing around as the paparazzi moved in for the kill. Pushing people out of my way left and right, I rushed to grab her. By the time I made it to her, the dress had slipped off her chest. Flashes of lights went off against the night sky like techno-lighting. Lizzie flipped her long blonde hair around until she realized the real reason everyone was looking up at her. She hiked the dress back up but continued to shimmy up and down on the small platform. Lizzie, dismount! I shouted. Lizzie, get down! But, she just continued to ignore me as the paparazzi cameras fired away. Hey, you, one of the men yelled at me. Youre blocking my shot. Hesitantly, I looked up at Lizzie once more, trying to gauge how with it she was, but it wasnt until she started posing for the shots that I had my answer. Sinking into the sea of cameras, I wished that I was with Riley in the van right now. Someone tapped my shoulder from behind and I turned around to look at a waiter who was carrying a tray filled with shots of alcohol. Compliments of that gentleman over there. He pointed to Hawkins who raised his drink, though I could tell he still wasnt happy with me. He says, and I quote, That youre going to need them.

6. TWEETING
The next morning I was up and out of my hotel bed before the others. It was hard to sleep after last nights fiasco. Although the conversation with Hawkins was unexpectedly refreshing, I knew that he could use the information against me in any one of his tweets. Still, no one could have prepared us for what Lizzie had done. Beyond annoyed, I wanted to whack a pillow over her head as she snored next to Riley, but I restrained myself. After my shower, I deliberated over which Grimm Brothers Band t-shirt to wear. My choices were somewhat limited until we could get to a laundry mat. Accidentally, I picked up the shirt with Hawkins face plastered across it and quickly tossed it to the side. That was going to be strictly for sleeping. I settled on an inconspicuous navy blue tshirt that had a small sun design with a tribal boarder around it on the front and a list of tour dates on the back. The shirt matched well with a pair of dark jeans and after packing up the rest of my belongings, I headed for the door. After walking down the hallway towards the elevator, I pressed the down button, and seconds later the doors opened. Slouching against the wall, I thought about last night. As a kid, I spent some considerable time daydreaming about the day when Kosic would kiss me, but I realized it didnt get me as fired up as Hawkins reaction to it did. I didnt like it, Hawkins didnt like it, and I liked knowing that Hawkins didnt like it. And of course the other problem was, after what Lizzie did last night, how was I going to defend myself/Lizzie to the world? To the world, we just pranced around and flashed our boobs in front of a dozen or so paparazzi. What was I going to write? Its one thing to do something stupid and have to explain it. It was a whole other ball game to explain someone elses stupidity. Ding! The elevator doors opened and my taste buds were intoxicated by the aroma of baked cinnamon buns. I walked out of the elevator and smiled politely to the receptionist behind the front desk to my left. Not glancing around, I headed to the deserted breakfast tables to drop my bags off before going over to a counter filled with fresh baked goods. Once my plate was filled with enough food to feed my eyes and way too much for my stomach, I sat down in the back dining area. Between the pure spite in Hawkins eyes after the mix up with Kosic and Lizzies striping incident, all I wanted to do was go back to bed, pull the covers over my head and hide. Unfortunately, I was wide awake and needed to start thinking about my comeback. I thought of some possible excuses for Lizzies behavior. Maybe, someone had grabbed the dress from behind and pulled it down? Rolling my eyes, I thought, if that was true then why did she/I pose for the photos? Lizzie and I were now connected and that alone was scary. The room was starting to fill up. A couple came in with a toddler and two strollers so I gave up my seat. With the rest of my powdered donuts wrapped up, I headed away from the breakfast area. Skipping the coffee for obvious reasons, I didnt need to be climbing the ceiling by lunch time, I walked over to a small cheery desk stationed in front of the elevator. At the computer, I printed out the next couple sets of MapQuest directions. While I had some time on the computer, I skimmed through some information about Senator Nicholas Johnson for when my mom put it together that Lizzie McIntyre on Entertainment Tonight was our Lizzieher best friends daughter. I sighed, it was only a matter of time. When I finished, I walked out of the hotel with the computer papers folded in my hand.

folded in my hand. I had the time and no one was rushing me, so I decided to give the van some TLC. The first thing I did was check the air in the tires which really just looked like I was kicking the shit out of them because I found it instantly therapeutic. It wasnt until I went to unlock my door that I was truly brought out of my thoughts when I realized that the door was already open. Thats weird. The doors were always kept locked and I made sure everyone else locked them as well. They thought it was because of the thick stash of cash under my seat, but really, I just wanted to keep the last thing that represented my dad safe. Though I could tell that the van was undisturbed, my heart raced as I quickly reached under the seat to feel for the thick manila envelope. Breathing a sigh of relief when I found it, I then got in the van and checked under Rileys seat where we kept our stack of tickets and noticed that they seemed untouched, too. Had Riley just left the door unlocked? I tried to shrug it off as the only reasonable explanation. Once my heart had stopped its rapid beating, I put the van in drive and made a quick run to the nearest gas station. After filling up, I loaded up on snacks for the road trip to Charlotte, North Carolina. My arms were full of chips, sweets, and drinks when I looked down in horror at the magazine display in front of the register. There on the cover of US Magazine was a picture of Lizzie swinging her hair around with her dress down around her waist. The picture was blurred across the upper part of her torso where her chest would have been. In bold print underneath the picture was the headline Lizzie McIntyre will do anything for the spotlight. That was fast I thought, as I dumped the contents in my arms on the counter. The Hispanic lady behind the counter looked down at my food choices with a wide smile and boasted, Someones hungry. More like nauseous, I thought as I forced a smile. Although it was pointless, I couldnt stop from grabbing up every one of the magazines just so that no one else could. I laid the thick stack of magazines of Lizzie on the counter which made the ladys eyes widen as she muttered something in Spanish under her breath. Do you want a bag? she asked. No, just a trash can. After paying her, I made my way back over to the van and managed to prop the door open, dropping all the contents from my arms onto the drivers seat. There was a trash can nearby so I grabbed up all of the magazines with some effort and dumped all but one into it. There was no question that the article would be bad and I didnt have the guts to read it so I just tossed it behind me and started up the van. The sun was coming up along the horizon as I returned to the hotel. With my sun visor pulled down, I thought it was sure to be another hot, uncomfortable and sticky day in the van. After, parking the van, Riley texted me, Are you down in the parking lot? Yep, I texted, too angry to elaborate. Were heading down now, he texted back. I grabbed the steering wheel with both of my hands just in case I accidently grabbed onto Lizzie and shook the shit out of her. Trying to keep myself centered and calm, I saw both of them come out of the hotel. Riley looked ever so cool with his dark aviators on and his wet hair slicked back. Lizzie, however, looked pale and hungover next to him. She was still tugging at that sequined dress from hell as they walked over to get in the van. Leaning over to unlock the passenger side door, I realized for the first time that it was unlocked, too. Did you accidently leave the doors unlocked last night? I asked Riley after he had climbed up into the passenger side. No. Are you sure? Yeah, Id remember, he said. Why? Both doors were unlocked this morning, I explained, as I pulled out of The Holiday Inn. Thats weird. Rileys face pinched. Whats really weird is that not a single dollar or ticket was taken, I explained. We stared at each other for a long moment before he turned to look at Lizzie behind us. You ask if you care, 'cause I dont, I said, glaring ahead at the long stretch of road while searching for the highway signs. The rising sun cast a golden sheen over the fast food restaurants and gas stations along the street. It was still pretty early in the morning and everything looked vacant or closed. With the exception of one other car that passed us while heading in the opposite direction, we were the only ones on the main drag. Lizzie, is any of your stuff missing? Riley asked. What? She braced her head with both hands as she spoke, clearly still hungover. Is any of your stuff missing?

Is any of your stuff missing? Why? Just check, I snapped at her. Okay, okay. She sat up. God. She went through her bags of clothes. No, Im not missing anything, she pushed her bags to the side, but there is a pocket knife back here. She held it up. Thats weird. Riley took it from her hands to examine it more closely. Its probably something my dad left behind in the van. I dismissed it. I dont think anyone has cleaned it out since he had it. Hey, I just thought, is my camera still back there? Riley turned to look and gasped, What the hell? He reached back and grabbed up the magazine from behind us. His eyes bugged out as he looked down at the picture of a half-naked Lizzie. Yeah, that was the kind of night I had, I said with an edge. After we merged onto the highway, I glanced out my side window and carefully passed by a slow moving Subaru while waiting for Riley to give it to her. Lizzie McIntyre! he said like a reprimanding parent. What did you do last night? Did it make the front cover? Lizzie exclaimed, apparently forgetting about her hangover. She jumped forward and grabbed it out of Rileys hands. Thats what you care about? I asked with utter revulsion, pulling the van over to the second lane while hoping to avoid impatient speeders and oncoming traffic from the exits. Someone had to make it interesting because you and Hawkins dancing around the subject wasnt going to make it. Lizzie flipped through a couple of the pages. Seriously, the two of you should just do it already. You guys talked? Riley asked. More like, they huddled together in the corner of the club. I thought that maybe Joie was going to get some action for oncebut no, Lizzie quipped. Maybe you just need to grab on to Hawkins the way you did Kosic last night. She aimed a crooked little grin my way. Then we would have a real story to blog about. You what? Riley dropped his mouth open in shock. Yeah, so why isnt she getting the reprimanding parent spiel? Lizzie huffed. Because I didnt do it half-naked, I reminded her as a semi-truck came up close behind us. Gosh, there were five other lanes to pick from on the highway. Why was he riding my bumper? And it wasnt like that, I said, flipping the truck driver the bird when he zoomed past us. Honestly, Lizzie, if you noticed all that, how come you didnt notice the cool breeze on your chest? This dress slides down so muchI was just trying to have a good time, Lizzie mumbled to herself. How do you even remember anything that happened last night? Im really good at this too when Im drunk. She held out her arms while one by one she brought her hands in to touch her nose. Thats a real talent. I rolled my eyes. Lizzie cleared her throat and read out loud, The love saga continues to heat up between J.T. Hawkins and Lizzie McIntyre. McIntyre recently blogged that, Im not talking to his fan base now when the only thing he really cares about is Jack and Coke. Forget about your hair color, girls, because the only action youll be getting is watching him down another drink while texting away on his BlackBerry all alone. Just days later, Hawkins was seen at The Mirage night club with two girls who wore shirts with the slogan Jack and Coke. In response to McIntyres blog, Hawkins tweeted, You supposedly have these rules: no backstage visits, no tour buses, no hotelsbut I have yet to see you follow any of them. Well, get ready to be a hypocrite, you should be used to it by now. No more than hours later, media hungry McIntyre was seen flashing her boobs to the paparazzi at the same night club. I think that its disgusting, a fan said, who was there at the club. Hawkins deserves someone so much better. Lizzie abruptly stopped. Bitch, Lizzie muttered. I think McIntyre just needs to show Hawkins how to relax and enjoy the show. Stop improvising, Lizzie. Riley laughed. What? Thats what it says, Lizzie insisted, but she couldnt keep a straight face. At least none of it was unexpected. I tried to stay optimistic as I passed the damn Subaru again. Pick a lane and stay there, buddy! Man, this six lane highway was not my idea of a good time. What do you mean not unexpected? Lizzie asked. I dont know, Lizzie, with you being half-naked on the cover, Im pretty sure they could have practically written anything and everyone would have believed them. Chill out already, Lizzie groaned. A tweet is up from Hawkins, Riley announced to us.

Errrr. Growling, I clunked the side of my head off the nearby window. Here it comes, I thought. Its gotten so bad that the girl is flashing me now, Riley read the tweet out loud. Good one, Lizzie laughed. I felt my eyebrows pinch together. What? She couldnt handle not being the center of attention, he continued. @Brooklyn86 asked, why havent you tapped that yet? Hawkins responded, who says that I havent? I looked over at Riley to make sure that he wasnt joking. He wishes, Lizzie said hotly. Riley looked up at me with a grim expression, Thats it. What are you going to blog? Lizzie asked me excitedly. Where would I even start? What the hell! I shouted. You damn Subaru! I took all my sudden frustration out on the road as the car passed us. Someones not happy. Lizzie bugged out her eyes. Foreign piece of crap! I yelled out my window. Try keeping the jobs in America next time, buddy! I flipped him the bird as well. Riley softly chuckled beside me. You do realize that youre driving a Volkswagen, right? And you realize Im driving you around, right? So whose side are you on? I glared over at him. Yours, definitely yours. Riley grinned. I started to think again about how Hawkins had been easy on me. Not one real insult among them so why was I baffled and pissed? I knew the rest of the world was taken with Lizzies beauty. Hawkins had earned some bonus points for being the only one who was seemingly unfazed by it, but as of a whole two seconds ago that all came to a crashing halt. Even so, I could still remember the fiery glare Hawkins threw my way after Kosic had kissed me. Men, who knows what theyre thinking? I knew that I was the writer and Lizzie was the muse, but I also knew that Hawkins didnt approach me last night just so the details would be more convincing. No, he had approached me to make my life a living hell, but with the new tweets I couldnt be certain where Hawkins was going with this? I looked up at the signs for Charlotte. Im going need a little help with the exit. I refocused back on the road as Riley pulled up the directions. You want exit 38. He looked at the sign up ahead of us. Cool. I hope the paparazzi arent there tonight. I sighed. Why? Lizzie asked. Seriously? You may feel comfortable getting naked in front of the paparazzi, but I dont. I veered off the six lane highway, glad to see it go. It instantly felt like the world of traffic stress was gone as my shoulders began to relax. Okay, lets not make this all about you, Lizzie said. He was commenting about me, remember? The vision of beating a pillow over her head popped back into my mind but I decided to save what I was feeling for my blog. Heaving a sigh, I said, Okay, Im ready to comment. Are you sure? Riley said with a slightly emphatic tone. Yeah, why? I said as calmly as possible. Okay. He raised his eyebrows. Riley could sense my bullshit a mile away, but he didnt press me. Besides, how could he know something I didnt understand myself? Dictating my blog to him, he typed, Hawkins hasnt tapped away at anything but his BlackBerry where he comments about me at a time that is most advantageous for his wallet. As for his attention, if a half-naked girl cant get it, I can only make assumptions about who would. Thats hysterical. Lizzie giggled. I cant wait to see his reaction. Hes probably just jealous that Kosic kissed Joie, Riley countered. I dont know, Lizzie murmured as she rummaged through her clothes in the back. Maybe Hawkins saw something he liked? Riley scoffed at the notion as he typed up his review for the show last night. My eyes drifted to the wild orange lilies that overflowed the center of the highway. The van didnt even have to put up a fight along the flat stretch of road. So why was I restless and annoyed? I was brought out of my thoughts when Lizzie reminded me You know, technically hes still a free agent. No one has made enough of a connection with him yet to call dibs, right? Glaring ahead, I remained silent, but I caught Riley looking over at me expectantly. He just shook his head at me

and said, I do. You dont count, Riley, Lizzie said dismissively. Hes straight. This is from the same girl who wondered if he was batting for my team? Riley reminded her. He finally met the right girl to set him straight, she offered as Riley snarled at the insinuation. Whats wrong with Warren? I asked. Hes dependable, but everyone knows that Hawkins is the real showstopper with him being the lead singer of the band and all. I snarled at her now. God, did she ever freaking stop? We exited the highway and parked at the venue. I opened the side door and noticed that people walking by kept looking our way. A couple of brave stragglers approached us, Are you Lizzie McIntyre? Yes, I am. She flashed her dazzling smile. Can I have your autograph? A young teenage boy asked. She signed her John Hancock across the cover of the magazine like she was proud. I tried to stop myself from groaning; I didnt want anyone to encourage her behavior. We heard The Larks playing in the distance as we walked up to the amphitheater. We were moving slowly because most of the crowd that was just walking in only came to see The Grimm Brothers Band. Up ahead, I spotted the Nicholas Johnson booth. We stopped so I could pick up a bag of memorabilia, pamphlets of information, and a few pins. Leaning into the booth, Riley took a few photos with the camera in his cell phone. I asked to take my picture with a clip board stating that I was a huge fan, just in case I needed evidence for my mom later. Riley could barely hold the phone up straight he was laughing so hard. By the end we only had one credible looking photo, but that was better than none at all. While we were busy at the campaign booth, Lizzie easily scored a free couple of beers for Riley and herself before we headed down the aisle. The crowd was already standing up with anticipation for the band as we inched down the row to our seats. Once we found them, I noticed the girl beside me was practically bouncing on her toes. By the way everyone was acting before the band took the stage, you would have thought it was Christmas morning. A girl with a long homemade patch-like dress raised a sign in front of us, blocking off our view. The frat guys behind us started to boo her, but this flower child was in her own world while she swayed the sign back and forth. I assumed the band took the stage due to the thunderous applause and cheering around us, but I couldnt tell as the sign Stalking Hawkins bobbed up and down in front of me. Suddenly a hand jetted out over my head as one of the frat guys from behind me ripped the sign out of the girls hands. I glanced up at the stage just in time to witness the spotlight zeroing in on Lizzie beside me. She jumped up and down excitedly, causing the crowd to cheer and boo around us. But as I glared up at Hawkins, I realized he was only looking down at me. You got my attention. Now what are you going to do with it? he said into the microphone. With a lot of effort, I tried very, very hard not to smile. The spotlight moved away from Lizzie, but she continued to sway sexily beside me while watching Hawkins. As the music began, it was somehow different tonight. There was an energy coming from Hawkins that even eclipsed yesterdays performance. It was so infectious that I danced right along with Riley. Before I knew it, Hawkins hit the last chord and the music had suddenly stopped at the end of the night. The band slowly exited off the stage to the cries of fans. My eyes blinked a few times from the sudden contrast of the loud, beautiful music next to the silent murmuring of the crowd around me. Lizzie had already strutted off in the direction of the backstage. Riley and I had already agreed on crashing at the nearest Walmart parking lot so I gave him a quick hug, before heading off that way myself. I raced to catch up to Lizzie who had already broken away from the exiting fans. When we arrived, Harrison pushed open the backstage door while keeping his eyes peeled on the crowd. Once inside, Cyrus was already standing there waiting for us. He quickly walked ahead of us down the hallway and pushed through the exiting doorway to the parking lot. Within minutes, we took off in the black Escalade with its heavily tinted windows. The SUV slowed down, but didnt come to a complete stop when Cyrus flashed his pass to the security staff outside of his window. They directed us around the traffic to a lane reserved for only paramedics, police, and band members. We drove out of the place like we were part of the presidential motorcade. After ten minutes, I smiled to myself when Cyrus pulled up into parking lot of a hotel. I knew it. Hawkins may have tweeted about Lizzie, but he clearly wanted to send me a message. Lizzie got out, looking less excited about the hotel, having already seen her fair share of them. We left Cyrus in the Escalade and entered into the Ritz Carlton Hotel with its cream and light brown lounge chairs scattered elegantly throughout the lobby. We were greeted by Hampton who escorted us across the glossy cream floors, past the receptionist desk to our right and on to the elevators.

elevators. Another bodyguard stationed by the elevator checked our names off the top of the list and leaned in to press the fifth floor button before the doors closed. The elevator steadily climbed the floors without stopping in between. The doors dinged back open to a tightly cramped hallway filled with people. I laughed to myself while thinking that this was a far cry from the scene we saw the night when we tried to save Lizzie. Nice. We overheard loud laughter in the next room. Lizzie rounded the corner with me right behind her. The room was packed with peoplesome were smushed side by side on the long, beige couch that extended down the length of the room to the left, some were standing along the walls while others sat on the ground. Across from the couch were three beige and white checkered lounge chairs. Hawkins was sitting in the middle chair with his elbows resting on his knees. Hawkins eyes grew wide as he looked across the room at Blakely, the drummer, who was seated on a long couch. So he dared me to, Hawkins smile widened, and I lost, so I had to streak through Belvedere Park. Everyone busted out laughing along with him. Lizzie started to maneuver through the packed crowd to get a better position in the room while I leaned beside the door. So wouldnt you know it, even after midnight someone saw me. It was probably some elderly lady walking her dog. He waved it off. I dont know, I wasnt exactly aware of anything but my mind screaming at me to run faster, you know? The room softly chuckled. Long story short, an officer stopped me. Well, not stopped me directly, he snickered, but tried to contain the situation like he was herding cattle or something. The room busted out laughing. I mean I dont blame him. To make matters worse, he sighed, I think it was the poor souls first day. Hes asking me all these questions that he was trained to say in the police academy or something like that because lord knows he had never envisioned this. Hes all, sir, do you have any identification? Hawkins snorted then said as seriously as possible, No, sir, Im sorry, I didnt have anywhere to put it. Hawkins heaved in a silent laughing fit as the room lost it. This was the first time I had seen Hawkins sohappy. Hawkins darted a sideways glance across the room at me. He cleared his throat and started to settle himself down again. Where is my sweetheart? he called out while glaring at me. Lizzie? He didnt have a second to look around the room before Lizzie appeared at the front of their crowded circle. Ah, there you are. He motioned for her to come closer as people murmured around the room. Its that girl, a blonde said in front of me to her friend. Rolling my eyes, I crossed my arms while continuing to lean against the doorway. Hello, beautiful, he said, wrapping his arm around Lizzies shoulder. Hawkins lovingly twirled a strand of her blonde hair between his fingers, the way I had seen Warren do so many times before. He aimed a sideways glance over at Warren, who shook his head, but still smiled anyway. It was clear to me that Warren was in on the joke. Im sorry, I was saying? Hawkins asked. The officer, a guy prompted him from the crowd. Right. Continuing to play it up, Hawkins gazed lovingly into Lizzies eyes. I had seen enough. Pushing off the doorway, I figured Id go down the hallway. Maybe Kosic was here? Oh, I dont think so, Hawkins bellowed across the room, catching my attention. I turned back to face the room, with a slightly confused expression on my face. You have a part to play, too, he reminded me. A few people looked from Hawkins to me and then back again. I smirked, so was this just another game? It would explain his sudden interest in Lizzie and people in general. Hawkins held my gaze until I crossed my arms and leaned back against the doorway. Shrugging at him, I mouthed, fine and made a gesture for him to continue his performance. He pulled his eyes away from me and returned his attention back to the circle of people around him. So I said to the officer Hawkins picked the story back up without missing a beat. It was hard to peel my eyes off of Lizzie with Hawkins as he kept the room laughing. It was sickening really, to watch her in that tightfitting, red dress that hugged her chest and showed off her long legs while he sat with his careless dark hair, smoldering eyes, and the top of his shirt slightly undone. It was hard to figure out which one was more beautiful. Maybe it was Hawkins with his tense jaw and narrowed, sexy, come-hither eyes? Or was it Lizzie with her angelic face and the body of a supermodel? I couldnt decide, but I did know that they were the perfect match for each other physically. It was no wonder the record company helped put this charade together. Who didnt want to watch two beautiful people in love like Tom Brady and Gisele Bndchen? Joie. My name brought me out of the analysis. I turned around and saw Kosic, who released his arm from the waist of the girl next to him. His green eyes simmered as he walked toward me. We keep running into each other, he smiled, small world.

he smiled, small world. Got to say that Im disappointed, he said. About what exactly? My face pinched in confusion. Never pegged you as the groupie type. Im not a groupie! I hissed. What are you doing here with the band, again? He smirked. Its complicated. Is that a Grimm Brothers t-shirt? He pointed down at it. How can you tell from this angle? I glanced down at my shirt nervously. The tour dates are on the back. In the next second, Hawkins was leaning against the opposite side of the doorway. Im sorry, was I interrupting something? he asked, knowing full well that he had. You just keep telling yourself that, Joie. He raised his glass to Hawkins with a wicked grin across his face as he backed out of the room and down the hallway. At the time I did the most rational thing I could think of and flipped Kosic off, gaining a laugh from him before he turned around. What was that all about? Hawkins looked down at my hand. Its complicated, I repeated myself with a roll of my eyes. Is that, he narrowed his eyes, one of our t-shirts? Oh, god, could you just go back to your side of the room again? So, this is your side of the room? He arched his eyebrows. 'Cause Im pretty sure every side is my side of the room. Why are you always throwing that in my face? Kosic and the hotel room, now this? Because it irritates you which makes me, he pointed to himself, very happy. By the way, I thought that you didnt do hotels? He continued to try to have a conversation with me after I tried to give him the silent treatment. Isnt that the point? And Im the arrogant one? he stated like he was mockingly shocked. Where would you have me bring you after a concert if not to a hotel? A smirk played across his face as he matched my knowing glare. This wasnt because it was convenient and we both knew it. Who knows a restaurant, a dance club, a sports bar I mentally listed, but saved it for someone who cared. Maybe a crack house? Well, if I had just known, he said sarcastically. I could have made arrangements. That Im sure of, I said, matching his sarcasm with my own. Anything to make me feel right at home, I mean thats the point, right? Exactly, youre my guest after all. Wanting to change the subject, I scanned the crowded room, So is this a typical Friday night for you? He shrugged. Why do you ask? I dont knowits a little bit more crowded than the other night. I cracked a smile. His eyes flashed over to mine. You mean when you barged into my hotel room on a Tuesday night? We were worried for Lizzie. I didnt do it because it was your hotel room. Lizzie was fine, he dismissed the thought. Thats not what you tweeted. He leaned against the doorway as he rolled his eyes. Were not exactly being honest with each other most of the time, now are we? He raised his eyebrows at me knowingly. You mean like what you were doing with Lizzie tonight? I thought that I made our arrangement clear. Did Wayne drop you on your head when he escorted you out, and you forgot already? He mockingly winced. I told him to go easy on you. His blue eyes twinkled with mischief. Ha, nice, I snarled. Why do you care? His eyes looked casually over my shoulder, down the hallway, then flicked back to me. Are you jealous? His left eyebrow rose slightly. Of Lizzie, umm, no, I mouthed. Ah, huh. He didnt sound convinced. So what are you doing with Kosic? His face twitched for a second like he smelled something bad. Jealous? I smiled. Umm, no, he mimicked me. The guys creepy, like perpetrator creepy. Were not that close, I insisted. Thats not how it looked last night. Hawkins made a silly lopsided grin at me. Oh, my gosh, giggle giggle,

Thats not how it looked last night. Hawkins made a silly lopsided grin at me. Oh, my gosh, giggle giggle, oh, Kosic, he mimicked with a goofy grin. Shut up, I was trying to warn him, I explained. Not encourage him. Sure, he taunted while obviously loving the reaction he was getting out of me. Out of nowhere, Lizzie bounced up beside him. There you are! Yes, here you are, I sang while smiling up at him. Hawkins face suddenly fell. Yeah, I am here, he answered unenthusiastically. Umm, good job tonight. He stiffly patted her shoulder and the smile faded from her face. What do you mean? Lizzie asked. You were believable, kid. He pressed his lips together and turned his head to look out at the hallway. Ouch. Kid? Lizzie hissed. Now, run along and let the grown-ups talk. Hawkins gestured for her to pass by us. He acted as though she was twelve or something. Lizzie dropped her mouth open and cut her eyes at Hawkins and then at me. Maybe this kid wont be as cooperative the next time the two of you have something you want to keep hush, hush. Lizzie pushed past us and headed down the hallway. Kid? I eyed him like, you seriously had to go there? I am twenty-three. He shrugged. Im the same age as Lizzie so do you think that Im a kid, too? Sometimes you act like a kid, he hesitated. Wait a minute, you seriously want to go there? The sexy sneer he seemed to reserve for only me was on his face. No, on second thought, I said, shaking my head, I dont. You know, I could sign that shirt. Changing the subject, he pointed down with a sly grin. He seemed to sense that it was a touchy subject so of course he was completely fascinated. You could make a shitload of money for it on eBay. Well, that wasnt arrogant, was it? Instead of answering, Hawkins looked over at a small, huddled group of girls nearby. Does anyone have a pen? About four girls among the circle of fans who were just gawking in our direction rushed to open their purses. He examined his choices from each girl and then took one. Thank you. You can keep it, the girl gushed. She said you can keep it. That was very nice of her. Why dont you go talk to her for a while? I murmured only loud enough for him to hear. You give me things, too, he said in a hushed voice as he bit off the cap. Like what? A headache. His smile widened. Ha, ha, I said, though I couldnt stop myself from grinning at his quickness. No. I pulled back when he leaned in to sign my shirt. Dont worry about it. Hey, we can either do this the easy way or the hard way, he said, no louder than a whisper, but his eyes were intently serious. Suddenly, messing with Hawkins didnt sound like such a good idea. Fine. He leaned in and whispered, Relax, its not like its a tattoo. Staring over his shoulder, I felt his hand graze against the top of my chest as he began to sign his name. It felt oddly mesmerizing as he took his time writing out each cursive letter. It was soothing like when I was a kid and got my face painted. Only Hawkins was much, much hotter than a clown. With my head tilted just a fraction, I watched him intently finish a swoosh mark underneath his name. Our faces were nearly touching when he softly blew on the ink. See, that wasnt so bad, he murmured into my ear, then tilted his head and looked down at my lips. I felt my heart flutter. Breaking the mood, Hawkins jerked his head up when he saw Harrison rushing down the hallway. We quickly backed away from each other. Sorry to interrupt, but we have a credible security threat, he explained. You need to get to a secure spot now. He quickly directed Hawkins down the hallway. Watching Hawkins get ushered down the hall, I didnt know if I should follow. Suddenly Hawkins stopped and glanced over his shoulder. Joie? He turned around while ignoring Harrisons annoyance and the excited fans around him. He rolled his eyes at me, jogged back to where I was and

reached down to grab my hand. I know, I know, he muttered. Youre not with the band. He took my hand and pulled me in close behind him as we exited the crowded hallway. They escorted us into a stairwell where the rest of the band was gathered. Surprisingly, Lizzie was there with Warren. Her eyes widened at the sight of Hawkins with his hand in mine. Hawkins dropped my hand and I crossed my arms. Once again we seemed to feel as though we had been caught. We need to evacuate you guys from the building, Harrison said once everyone was in the stairwell. Its the Grimm Reaper. He says that hes taken a crew member hostage. We are in the process of figuring out who it is, but he has already made a ransom demand. How much? Blakely asked. Five million in cash. Five million dollars! Warren exclaimed. We cant just come up with five million dollars in cash! Do we even know if its a credible source yet? Hawkins asked. We just got hit with the call, Harrison told them. But my sources tell me that its legit. We dont make deals with sociopaths, Blakely said in a final tone. The rest of the band started to nod along in an agreement. What if he does have a crew member? Harrison asked more seriously. Are we going to do nothing? Hold up, Woodley interrupted. We dont even know if he has anyone yet. Lets just get everyone to a safe location. I agree. Warren nodded. Well then, Harrison said while still clearly exasperated. We have a few vehicles stationed outside. Were going to evacuate everyone slowly so that you leave ahead of the crowd. The girls can follow us to the exit, but then they have to go their separate ways. Hey, wait a minute, Warren argued. When this one, Harrison pointed to Lizzie and continued, gives me her social security number then well talk. As for now, gentlemen, let me do my job, Harrison said as we all followed him down the stairwell to the ground floor. Hawkins turned to me and asked, Your driver is outside, right? Yeah, well be fine, I assured him. He just nodded at me before he exited the side of the hotel and I was left standing there next to Lizzie. Before she could ask any questions, I pushed through the door and entered the crowded parking lot. The night sky was cleared of any hazy clouds. Right above us was the three twinkling stars of Orions belt. The hot, sticky day had cooled down to a bearable light warmth in the air surrounding us. The band was probably leaving as we crossed over to Cyrus by the Escalade. He flicked a cigarette to the ground and exhaled a cloud of smoke. Is everything okay? he asked as he opened the door for Lizzie. The Grimm Reaper, Lizzie muttered as we got in and shut the door behind us. Crashed the party, huh? He swung into the drivers seat and started up the SUV. You could say that, Lizzie muttered to him, but I could tell that she was still seething with jealousy at the sight of Hawkins and me together. Where to, ladies? he asked. The nearest Walmart. Walmart? He chuckled. On Malcolm Street, I clarified. Its back towards the venue. Well, that doesnt seem right. He glanced back in the rearview mirror at Lizzie. Has the band already been safely evacuated? Yes, Lizzie muttered. Who is going to protect you girls? Ha! Lizzie huffed. And with that we all stayed quiet for the rest of the drive to the Walmart. The Escalade pulled up beside our Volkswagen Van. I dont know if I feel comfortable leaving you girls all alone, Cyrus hesitated. Oh, were not alone, I assured him. Thanks, though. Slamming the door to finalize the conversation, I gave a super animated wave at the Escalade, but he just stayed parked there. At that same moment Riley, who was typing in the passenger side seat, exited the van squinting in the bright headlights of the Escalade. So how was your night? Riley croaked as he stretched his arms and yawned.

Finally, the Escalade pulled away from us. Maybe the sight of Riley, the body builder, had made Cyrus feel better about dropping us off.

7. GRIMM REAPER
Waking up beside Lizzie on the cot in the back, I looked around at the mess of crunched up burger wrappers and empty water bottles. Gross! I grabbed up my book bag on a mission to use the girls restroom. To my surprise, Riley was already awake in the passenger side seat up front. Oh, good, youre up, he beamed. Awesome! Okay? I groaned at his uncharacteristic chirpiness. So youre the property of Hawkins now, huh? Riley grinned down at my chest. With a confused expression, I smoothed down my shirt which I hadnt changed out of from last night. I look down and there, written across the top of my chest, was Hawkins. Huh? Maybe he? I wondered. Didnt notice that he put an apostrophe after his name? Riley grinned even bigger. The definition means to show ownership, he explained with a lopsided grin. You belong to Hawkins. Okay, whatever, I said, but I didnt run to take it off either. Moving the focus from me, I asked, Did you overload on espresso or something? Dont you know what today is? he prompted while smiling to himself. Oh. Something was important about today, but it wasnt coming to me. Bonnaroo, hello! Right, I said, snapping my fingers. Thats right, the concert youve been looking forward to. Reaching for the door to head to the bathroom, Riley stopped me. Where are you going? We need to go to Michaels, get food, and then be on the road or were going to be late. Riley, I have to brush my teeth. Yeah, at Michaels. He beamed up at me again. All that was missing was the wagging puppy dog tail. Okay. I rolled my eyes and sunk into the drivers seat. Wheres the nearest Two blocks away, Riley interjected. The store just opened or I would have driven there myself. Wonderful, I shifted the gears and pulled out of the space. A few minutes later, we pulled into strip mall of chain stores. The parking lot was mostly vacant except for a few cars which I assumed belonged to the people who worked there. Riley had already woken up Lizzie on the drive over. Do they know who the crew member is yet? Riley turned to ask Lizzie. Warren said no, she grumbled, not totally awake yet. How much is the ransom? Five million! Oh, my god. Rileys eyes widened. The band wouldnt have that kind of money, would they? No Lizzie agreed. They dont. The conversation was cut short when I pulled the van into a space in front of the store and cut off the engine. Hiking my bag over my shoulder, I exited the van. Lizzie flung open the side door, with a hard expression on her face, and got out. She had a bad case of bed head and winced from the sun even though she had on a pair of oversized white sunglasses that swallowed up half her face. Riley merely ran a hand threw his hair, the only preparation he ever really needed to look good, and smiled. I, on the other hand, needed an entourage of stylists or just a decent shower. Riley led the way across the short distance of the parking lot to the store. We passed through the sliding glass doors and moaned happily as we enjoyed the cool draft of air conditioning. Riley grabbed a gray cart from a stacked line, hopped on to it and whisked away from us. Someones happy, Lizzie yawned. Yeah, he is and Ill be happy when I find a restroom.

Yeah, he is and Ill be happy when I find a restroom. Quickly finding it, I pushed through the door and blinked at my reflection in the mirror. Oh, girl, I said sympathetically. You look like a hot mess. Manically, I ran my fingers through my dark brown hair trying to untangle it with a little luck. Digging through my book bag, I found a comb and with difficulty but better success ran it threw my hair. After I brushed my teeth and rinsed my face, I stuck my tongue out at my reflection before leaving the restroom. Taking my time, I caught up to Lizzie and Riley in one of the art aisles. Along the shelves to the left were little bottles of acrylic paints. Every color filled the small shelves that were packed one on top of the other. Large tubes of oil paints were followed by small tubes of watercolors. Riley was looking down at a tube of red acrylic paint. He tossed it into his gray cart and proceeded to pick up a tube of blue paint. Lizzie, who had apparently come to life while I was gone, started venting. I cant believe he called me a kid, Lizzie said with a red feather boa she must have found wrapped around her neck. And he called you the adult. Whistling to myself and ignoring her, I looked up at a group of white canvases along a high rack across from the end of the aisle because I didnt know what to say to her. I thought his insult would have stop her fascination with Hawkins, but I like challenges. She sounded like she was trying to convince herself. I followed behind Riley who had rounded the corner with the cart to the kids section of arts and crafts. Crayola crayons, markers, clay, face paint, and other fun projects filled the shelves. Riley picked up a bottle of silver glitter. I turned to look at him skeptically and asked, Glitter? Hell, yeah. He smiled. The crazier the better, its Bonnaroo, man! Did you ever notice Hawkins blue eyes? Lizzie continued behind us. How could someone not? I let the comment slip before I realized it. Both Riley and Lizzie stopped what they were doing to stare at me. Whatever, theyre bright, I mumbled while glancing down at a bag of glow sticks. So explain this to me again? Its a four day concert? Yeah Riley paused only momentarily at my admission and change of subject. Well only be there for one day because thats how long the band will be there, but still, Riley beamed, its going to be so much fun. Im so stoked. And youre going to paint yourself, huh? Everybody does. He nodded and crossed in front of me to grab a few glow sticks. Its not even the color, but the way he uses his eyes. Its sexy, Lizzie gushed. Our children would be beautiful. She continued to have a conversation with herself while holding a box of crayons in her hands. I mean, gorgeous kids. Beyond tired of it, I said, Kids? I held the stare just long enough, waiting for that word to bring up a more recent memory. She groaned right on cue and slapped down the small box. I cant believe he called me a kid! I know, I said trying to sound sympathetic before I turned to Riley and asked, So do we have what we need? He tossed some spray paint into the cart and said, Yep. I better get him wrapped around my finger. She blatantly stared at me as we got in line. In case someone comes along and tries to snatch him up. Dont you need some duct tape? I asked sarcastically, looking at Riley for help. He could have anyone, she continued. Okay, okay, Lizzie, weve heard your master plan. Riley tried to shush her. He tossed the contents of the cart onto the counter. By the time he was done, a large heap of art supplies filled the small space to the side of the scanner. What? Lizzie tilted her head. I was just saying. She shrugged innocently. He is rich and famous. Wow, an art project, the cashier interrupted and smiled at us. You could say that, Riley agreed with a big ole grin on his face. A few minutes later, the lady handed him a huge bag full of art supplies and we exited the store. Riley led the way across the parking lot to the van. Oh, Riley, I didnt tell you, Lizzie continued to gush as Rileys shoulders slouched. This was his day and Lizzie was kind of killing it. What? he said with an edge as he slid back the side door. Hawkins told me this funny story. I guess he streaked through this park and an old lady stopped him. The cops stopped him, I interrupted her.

The cops stopped him, I interrupted her. Okay, enough! Riley glared at us. This is how this day is going to go. We both looked over at him with guilty expressions on our faces. Im covering myself in paint. Im going to get wasted. Im going to watch Jerry Garcia play with The Grateful Dead again or at least Im going to be so freaking gone that I think I did. And the two of you are going to shut the hell up! I dont want to hear another word about Hawkins, Hawkins babies, Hawkins money, or who Hawkins likes better. He aimed the first glare at me. Is that understood? Yes, sir. We both looked down in the direction of our belly buttons. I love Bonnaroo! he said with glee again and that was that. Lizzie and I helped cover Riley in blue paint with yellow swirls around his calves and red polka dots down his arms. We topped his look off with green alien antennas. Lizzie and I were in such good spirits that we painted little silver and gold streaks across our faces. Lizzie changed into a black bikini top and a pair of cropped denim shorts. She then helped me put a knot in my shirt so it hugged my chest and revealed my midriff. Looking around at us, I wondered what the hell we were about to get ourselves into? We stocked up on bottled water and snacks at the nearest grocery store, attracting the strangest looks from the other customers. We giggled at ourselves while crossing the parking lot to the van before we started our long drive to Manchester, Tennessee. The mountains were the first true test of whether or not the van was going make it as it crawled along. By the time we started to see the overhead highway signs for the town, the sun was just setting along the horizon. Holy, hell, I muttered the first words that came to me when we pulled into the camping grounds. We were surrounded by miles and miles of campers and vehicles. Fans were dressed in costumes, covered in paint and mud. Is this like a Woodstock? I asked Riley as we drove along an off-road pathway. Its Bonnaroo, man! Yeah, caught that. We finally parked and Riley bolted out of the van. Looking around at the endless stream of vehicles, I wondered if he was going to be able to find the van at the end of the night. That thought disappeared when to my surprise Riley started to mount the top of the van. This was his day I reminded myself. He helped pull Lizzie on top as well. Joie! Lord have mercy. In minutes, we were all on top of the van. Lizzie danced to the music pounding out of a nearby white Corolla. Riley twirled me around as we joined in on the fun. The energy was so infectious that even I was having a good time after a while. Other fans waved up at us and soon even a complete stranger had joined us on top of my van. Bob was a true hippy with sandy blonde dreads, beige cords and bare feet. He swayed back and forth with Lizzie before waving goodbye to us. When night fell, we decided to head into the place. It was a maze of stages playing different music over two miles long. I wasnt sure which stage The Grimm Brothers Band was going to play on, but the other two seemed unfazed. We maneuvered through a tight moving crowd of girls dressed in bikini tops and shirtless guys covered in tattoos. We took a detour so Riley could run back and forth under a mushroom-shaped water fountain. Blue paint was dripping off of him, but I had never seen him look so utterly content. We continued to walk until I heard the familiar cry of the saxophone. Homing in on the sound of Hawkins voice, I gently pulled Lizzie away from a group of guys. Hey, she slurred. Hawkins, remember? Ohh. She stumbled along. Hawkins! Lizzie started to shout. Hawkins, you sexyoops. She tripped and then pulled herself back up. Hawkins! Riley willingly danced along the edge of the crowd. Then out of nowhere, he collapsed down with his legs crossed. Okay, Riley has found a spot, I mumbled to myself, but Lizzie was edging onward. Hawkins! she roared. Pressing both of my hands to the side of my face, I thought, oh, my god, this was like having children! Dropping my arms, I walked forward to gently pull Lizzie back to Rileys spot, but onward she went again. After the third time I finally retrieved her, I pointed to a hot guy near Riley. OHH. She shimmied up to the guy, who didnt mind the beautiful company. I had everyone sort of contained and sighed to myself. Strangely, Hawkins voice was comforting. It was the only familiar thing in the world of the strange and bizarre. Though, we were so far away that I could block out the stage with just the tip of my thumb, I could hear the music as though I was right next to it. As the concert continued, Lizzie sat down beside us in the field, which was an unexpected surprise. Riley looked

like he was finally having that concert with Jerry Garcia and The Grateful Dead. And I was just glad when the concert was over. I rounded up my crew as the crowd began to flow away from the stage, making it easier for us to approach it. Joie, Im good, Riley insisted, trying to pull away from my grip. Oh, hell no, I told him. We inched along while I scanned the security staff in front of the stage. I didnt recognize anyone from the usual crowd of bodyguards. Lizzie started to lead the way like she had a GPS tracker of the band in her head. This way. She edged to the right. Joie, I dont want to go yet, Riley persisted. Riley, Im not leaving you, I scolded him. Its Bonnaroo, he sounded disappointed, but coherent. This is probably the first time that I rather stay behind than go with you guys. Are you sure? Searching his face, I could tell he was serious. Ah, yeah, Im fine, but you might want to catch up with Lizzie though. He pointed ahead. Do you have your cell on you? He patted his back pocket. Yep. Okay, I agreed and kissed his alien forehead. I turned around to chase after Lizzie who had sniffed out Hampton on the right side of stage. Hampton helped pull Lizzie up over a black gated fence in front of the stage. Wonderful. I headed towards the gate determined to climb it by myself. That was until Hampton wrapped his strong arms around my waist and quickly pulled me over. A couple of excited fans went for the fence, too, but they were immediately stopped by a line of guards. Hampton turned on a flashlight and led the way down a dark, narrow pathway not accessible to the crowd. Hawkins was waiting there with an entourage of bodyguards. Just wanted to make sure that you didnt skip out on me, he said, all macho like, but I sensed something else in his tone. Was he concerned? The place looked like it advertised for crazy mayhem. He turned on some kind of silent cue and we followed in behind him. The trail was filled with little pebbles and lined with low chains that looped from one small post to another on either side. Looking down, I watched the flashlight bob from side to side in Hamptons hand in front of us. The last thing I needed to do was trip. Umph! I collided hard into someone and stumbled back. Holding my hands out, I tried to brace myself as I fell to the ground. Wincing, I rubbed my thigh to brush off the embedded pebbles. Are you okay? A gruff voice asked, full of concern. In the next second I was blinded by another flashlight. Grimacing from the light, I raised my hand to see what or who I had run into. Geez, dont put the light up in her face, the guy lightly reprimanded the bodyguard beside him. Awkwardly, I tried to stand when a set of solid hands helped center me. Yeah, Im just a little scuffed up, I mumbled while taking inventory of myself. Joie, you should watch where youre going, Lizzie scolded me. The initial pain vanished as anger flooded through my veins. I looked over at Lizzie in outrage and then followed her gaze back up to the guy who came to my rescue. Oh, holy shit, I sputtered out as I continued to stare up at him. Through the darkness, I could finally make out the expression across the face of the tall, built man. He arched an eyebrow at me as the expression in his eyes changed from concern to amusement. Yeah, shes fine. Hawkins continued to watch me openly gawk. Thats Dave Matthews, I said, like he wasnt standing right there in front of me. Are you okay? Dave Matthews is asking if Im okay. I turned to Hawkins. Dave Matthews! I guess she must have bumped her headhard. Hawkins rolled his eyes then added, Good show tonight. Hey, you too. Dave and Hawkins exchanged some kind of guy hug. Im a huge fan of your music, I blurted out. Well, my brother was the true diehard fan, but I had grown up with their music playing constantly in our house. I held my hand out for his. He shook my hand and smiled. We do appreciate our fans. It sounded like something Hawkins would say politely to the crazies. Dave Matthews waved before they ushered him away from us. Looking towards Lizzie I said, That was Dave Matthews. And Ive never been more humiliated in my life, Lizzie groaned.

Ignoring Lizzie I continued, Kyles going to flip when he hears. I looked over at Hawkins confused and somewhat annoyed expression. What? You dont act that way around me, he said suspiciously. All star struck. Youre good, I rambled while my brain adjusted to meeting the famous musician. Its just that they are really good. I mean Carter is a legend. Carter? Carter Beauford, the drummer? Yeah, I know who he is. He half laughed. I just didnt know that you were on a first name basis with Carter. Whatever. I beamed. Dave Matthews just shook my hand. I think you mentioned that, Hawkins muttered. I think that youre great. Lizzie flashed her megawatt smile. Thanks, Hawkins said flatly and glared ahead. Hampton led us through a small patch of trees until I finally saw a line of shiny tour buses. A row of expensive vehicles were lined in front of the tour buses. In the distance, a black Escalade flashed its headlights and Hampton pointed his hand out towards the SUV. Theres your ride, Hampton instructed Lizzie and me. Hawkins left us and followed behind Harrison without even saying goodbye. Hurrying, I caught up to Lizzie who was already halfway across the fenced in parking lot. Looking down, I noticed my knotted t-shirt. Oh, my god! Why, was it that I always dressed like a ho when I met a famous rock star for the first time? And who knew what Hawkins had thought about the awful getup. I worked on unknotting the tshirt, while Lizzie opened the door and got inside the black Escalade. I followed, jumping in and shutting the door behind me. Trying to smooth out the now wrinkled shirt, I realized that it was hopeless. Hello, ladies, Cyrus said with a gust of cigarette breath over his shoulder. Hey, you, Lizzie flirted. Once again I didnt need to be there for the conversation so I ignored him as I fastened myself in and he pulled the Escalade out of the parking lot. We hit a patch of muddy road and the Escalade shook us up and down. Once on the main road, I noticed that we were following signs for the airport. A sickening cold shiver raced up my back. We followed the twisting, winding road up to a security gate near the flight lanes of the airport. I froze when I saw in the distance a large, white jet since I was deathly afraid of flying. Now this is what Im talking about, Lizzie gushed. My hand was shaking when I propped open the door on my side. Getting out, everything was in slow motion like a bad dream. Vaguely, I overheard Cyrus explain that he needed to stay with the SUV. Trying to control my breathing, I focused my attention on the back of Lizzie in front of me. I was trying to look at anything but the large white jet that loomed on the horizon. The fear was growing bigger within my chest the closer I came to it. My eyes darted over to a slow stream of fans that were colorfully painted and barely clothed heading towards the jet as well. What a night, I sighed to myself as we walked the rest of the distance. I followed Lizzie as she tripped and giggled up the steps to the jet. Grabbing onto the railing, I felt like a small, terrified child holding onto a parents leg for dear life. Literally, I was thinking take one step and then the next as I slowly made my way up the stairs. I cant believe were going to be having a party in the sky with the band, the excited group of fans behind me commented. Neither can I, I muttered to myself like a crazy person trying to sooth themselves. One of the girls behind me huffed at my pace as I slowly forced myself up the rest of the steps. Reaching the opening of the jet, a sickening feeling entered the pit of my stomach. A hostess greeted me with a wide, brilliant smile. Welcome aboard. Glancing down the steps behind me at the ground, I wondered if it was too late to turn around. The party of impatient girls rushed past me into the plane. Suddenly, I was pushed back on the heels of my feet. For a second the world came to a stop and I saw myself falling back down the steps when a hand tightly grabbed onto my arm. Steady there. Hawkins looked alarmed when I quickly wrapped my other arm around him. For a second we were in a tight embrace and I didnt give a shit. Umm. He cleared his throat and held out a free hand to stop Harrison from pulling me off of him. Shes afraid of flying, Lizzie confessed like it was a dirty secret. Really? Hawkins bit at her. I thought she just wanted a hug. My grasp loosened at the mention of this. God, this was beyond embarrassing. Hawkins kept his steady hands around my shoulders. He held me back to examine me more closely. If youre going to gloat, you might want to wait until I can focus properly.

If youre going to gloat, you might want to wait until I can focus properly. Actually, I was going say that Ive been waiting to see you more uncomfortable around me sooner. A sexy smile crossed his face. I just didnt know that it would feel this disappointing. Ha, ha. You dont look too good, he said with genuine concern. I know, I know, I look like shit, I murmured, figuring my face was as white as a ghost. Beads of perspiration were already forming along my brow. Okay. Hawkins wrapped an arm around me. Lets get you to a seat. All six foot three of his tall, muscular body pulled me along. My legs were wobbly, but I kept moving until he released me with a loud thud into a nearby seat. He winced. Sorry, I didnt expect for you to drop like a ton of bricks. Hey, easy on the ton part, I whispered as he secured me in with a seat belt. You can barely walk, but those lips are still going a mile a minute. He hunched down to look up at me. Why am I not surprised? he sighed taking the window seat next to me. Suddenly I felt us start to move and grabbed hold of the chair arms with clenched hands. I dont know about this. Hawkins turned to Harrison sitting across the aisle. Im fine, I snapped. He narrowed his eyes while looking over at me and then sighed, If you say so. We have Dramamine, a stewardess offered. Yes, that should work, Hawkins agreed. Thank you. Before I knew it, two little pills in a small white cup were pushed under my face with a bottle of water. Downing the medicine with one swig, I breathed, Thank you. You dont have to babysit me, I said while shutting my eyes as the plane accelerated down the runway. I know I dont have to, he murmured. I think Im going to faint, I confessed while hearing what sounded like static in my ears. Bend over, Hawkins instructed as the plane began to pull up. It helps. Leaning over, the blood raced back to my brain as the plane quickly lifted off the ground. Hawkins ran a soothing hand along my back. A warmth washed over me that I knew had nothing to do with the queasiness I felt as we started our ascent up into the sky. Leaning back in my seat, I decided that the pressure of the plane pushing against me made me feel even more disoriented than when my head had been between my legs. Hawkins pulled the blind down over the window beside him. Once we had leveled in the sky I overheard the pilot instruct that it was okay to unfasten our seatbelts. Music suddenly filled the plane. Seriously? Stealing a glance behind me, I saw people dancing in the next section. The airplane itself looked like Air Force One. The last room in the back was some kind of open bar. The clinking of champagne glasses could be heard as everyone got their groove on to the music booming around us. It would have been impressive if it werent for the fact that I was in a tin can, located hundreds of miles above the ground. Suddenly, the plane shook from turbulence and I snapped my head back around while gripping the arms of the chair again. I wish that I would have known Hawkins began to say. That I dont like backstage, hotels, buses, and jets? Because Im pretty sure that I made at least three of those things very clear. Is this you more focused? He arched an eyebrow while smiling over at me. Ah, huh, gulping my breath while trying to stay focused. Shoot away. You just look so pathetic, he murmured. It wouldnt even feel fun or fair to pick on you right now. Come on, we can do this. Im not a wimp. Oh, yeah, youre a real rebel, alright, he retorted. You should take advantage of this opportunity. I swallowed hard. Who knows when youll win another verbal fight with me again? He laughed when suddenly a group of girls came around the side of my seat. Hawkins! Why dont you come dance with us? Thanks, but no, ladies. Hawkins gave a polite smile. Oh, come on, J.T., the girl pouted. Oh yes, J.T., you should go dance with them, I insisted, half annoyed but also letting him know he was off the hook. He didnt have to stay beside me throughout the entire uncomfortable flight. There is no way Im going to leave you here, he said harshly. Harrison stood up and started to escort the girls

There is no way Im going to leave you here, he said harshly. Harrison stood up and started to escort the girls away. Have it your way then. I gave up and closed my eyes while suddenly feeling the effects of the medicine. My hands slowly eased from the tense grip I had on the chair arms. The medicine is starting to work. Oh, good, I might get some peace and quiet, he exhaled with a small smile across his face. Though he was being a smart ass, I noticed him slowly relax, too. Where are we going anyway? Were supposed to be chasing the sunset. He narrowed his eyes while stealing a glance out the window in front of us. Huh, thats cool. My stiff body relaxed back into the chair. Oh, yeah. He laughed. Youre really impressed. Well, its not all about me. Hawkins suddenly became preoccupied with looking out the window again. Oh, no. I suddenly felt drunk. I think we might have a problem. Are you okay? Hawkins perked up in his seat. Yeah, I said, waving it off, but my eyes were getting really heavy. Joie? He sounded alarmed, but also foggy at the same time. J.T.? I slurred. Joie? I think Im tired, J.T. I liked the way his name sounded. Why did I never call him by his first name? J.T., J.T., J.T., I like it. J.T. Though I could barely keep my eyes open, I was leaning my head against Hawkins shoulder and a gorgeous butter yellow lit up the sky. Hawkins smiled down at me and wrapped his arm around me. The brilliant yellow lit up his face. His blue eyes twinkled as he studied the sky. It left me feeling warm and safe so I closed my eyes again. When I opened them again, the honey skyline disappeared into a dark blackness. When I came around again the airplane was quiet. My eyes whirled from side to side as they tried to focus. I felt Hawkins chest rise and fall underneath the side of my face. Lifting my head off his shoulder, I was thanking god that I didnt drool on him. Where are we? My voice croaked. On the ground, we landed a little over fifteen minutes ago. You shouldnt have let me sleep, I said sheepishly. My last few memories suddenly came flooding back to the forefront of my mind. Did I, umm, did I, ummbefore I went to sleep? Say my name? He grinned. Yes, a few times. Oh, my god. Groaning, I felt my face burn. They say that drugs make you do crazy things. Sure, whatever. His eyes lit up with the power he momentarily felt he had over me. J.T., J.T., he called out while mimicking me. You suck! I smiled while flushing a crimson red. Thats not what you said in your sleep. He continued to torment me as my eyes bulged out. Laughing, he said, I was just kidding, though you were actually nice for once. Maybe someone should prescribe these pills for you to take regularly. Ha, ha. Looking around, I rolled my eyes. Where is Lizzie? His hand came up behind me to massage the back of my neck. His thumb rolled in small circles with his fingers pressed up against the other side. It instantly made me relax. My shoulders eased under his touch. He pulled me closer into him until his hot breath was against the side of my hairline. It reminded me of the earlier, pleasing touch when my shoulder was up against his warm body. Why dont we let someone else worry about Lizzie, he murmured in my ear. Trying not to think about the meaning of all of this, I eased back into his side. He wrapped an arm around me and I felt like we had been doing this for, well, hours. When it occurred to me that not only did I not know where Lizzie was right now, but I had completely forgotten about Riley. Oh, my god I panicked, wondering how long we had been gone? Speaking of Lizzie, I pulled away, I hope Rileys okay, I forgot all about him! Riley? He stiffened beside me. I left him back in the field. Okay. What? How do you keep all your guys straight? He jabbed.

How do you keep all your guys straight? He jabbed. I investigated his face to see if he was serious. What are you talking about? I demanded. Kosic, Riley, he listed. Oh yeah, and what was it, some Kyle guy, too, he continued as I stared at him in disbelief. Kosic mentioned him the first night. He pinched his face up in a judging way. And then you brought him up again tonight. Wow, you must really think that I get around, I said, unfastening my seat belt. His face softened with the realization of what he was accusing me of being. Kyles my brother, you dumbass! Standing up, I walked away as he cursed. Im sorry, Joie. Dont go. Ive got to find Riley. Rileys a big boy, Im sure he can handle himself. Really? I think you just proved how much you know. Quickly, I exited the plane and down the steps. I knew that Hawkins was up and out of his seat behind me. Although I didnt exactly know in what direction to go, I knew that I had to get out of there. Scanning the airport grounds, I felt Hawkins grip the back of my arm. Do you even know where youre going? he muttered while guiding me in another direction. Sorry, last time I parked my jet I forgot to look around, I hissed. Definitely need to get you on some kind of drug plan. His jaw tensed as he tried to make light of the situation. Lizzie is waiting for you. Up ahead, I could see the black Escalade with its headlights just past the opened security gate. Are you going back to the festival? Hawkins glared down at me. Riley, I repeated. Yeah, you mentioned that, he quipped then exhaled. Ill follow behind you guys until you get there. He released me and turned to swiftly walk away with a defeated look on his face. I almost ran back to him to explain the situation with Riley, but my pride wouldnt let me. Walking towards the black Escalade, it was obvious that it needed a bath. It had mud caked around the wheel wells from being in the Bonnaroo fields. Looking down at all that mud made me glad that Riley told us we should just park the van and hike it in. Hey. I nodded to Lizzie and Cyrus once I entered the SUV. My body slouched down and I rested my head on the window. You can take us back to the venue. All I want to do is get Riley and get the hell out of here. I exhaled into the window. Cyrus leaned over the wheel while starting up the vehicle as Lizzie sniffed. OMG! She better not be pouting because I was alone with Hawkins on the airplane. She knew that I hated to fly. For once in her life, she didnt get her way and she was making a scene. Well, I was not going to cater to it and just rolled my eyes when I heard her sniffle again. Cyrus reversed the SUV and turned it around. Glancing over my shoulder, I noticed that we looked like a presidential motorcade. If Hawkins hadnt pissed me off, I could have just gotten a ride with him and then been spared Lizzies tantrum. As we merged onto the highway, Lizzie continued to whimper. After a few minutes, guilt started tearing at my conscious and as weakness set in, I looked up at her. She was staring at Cyrus like he was the boogie man. Looking over at Cyrus, I could see through the rearview mirror that his narrowed clutched eyes were racing back in forth between Lizzie and the side mirror. He was sweating, too. Not just a little perspiration, but beads of sweat were running down his face as if he had physically exerted himself. A sickening feeling was building in my stomach again, but I didnt want to overreact so I lied. Hawkins plans on meeting up with us back at the venue. Cyruss eyes jumped to the rearview mirror in shock and then scrutiny. I thought you were getting Riley and getting the hell out of here. His voice was sick and menacing. I said that because Lizzie was crying over Hawkins, but obviously, shes really upset so I thought Id let her know. I was proud of myself for how quickly that lie came out and it probably would have worked if I hadnt said it like I knew it was a lie. Why dont you keep an eye on their SUV to make sure that they stay with us, he suggested. Glancing over my shoulder, I watched the SUVs follow us. There was a bump in the road and a roll of duct tape bounced off the back door. Who the hell keeps a roll of duct tape in the back of their car? Whack! Heat stung my face, causing me to fall back against the seat. Cyrus had backhanded me with the side of a gun. Due to the awkward positioning of Cyrus behind the drivers wheel, I missed the full brunt of the hit. Laying there, I pretended to be knocked out. Lizzie whimpered from up front again. Shut the hell up! he roared at her. This wasnt how it was supposed to go. This wasnt how, he muttered to

himself. Blood was trickling down my face. Slowly, I reached my hand out for the door as we drove past the parked cars in the field. As soon as he tapped on the brakes I was going to make a run for it. Then I could get Hawkins to help me with Lizzie. The Escalade shook when we hit another bump, and I felt something smack into my foot from under the seat. Glancing down, I realized it was a flashlight. Needing any weapon I could find, I lifted my foot to step on it and keep it in place. Cyrus turned as he braced the back of Lizzies seat with a .42 caliber in his hand. Pull off, he pleaded over his shoulder to Hawkins and the rest of the SUVs following him. Pull off. Thats it, he sang. Oh no, dont leave us! I thought as we drove closer to the venues entrance. There was no one to help us if I jumped out now. Good, he purred. Feeling a flash of horror inside me, I almost panicked. Cyrus slowed the Escalade down to a crawling pace. As he turned back around it was then that I saw the neck tattoo peek over the white collar of his shirt and black leather jacket. Stifling a scream, I was paralyzed with fear. There along Cyruss neck was a sharp, darkened scythe; the Grimm Reapers weapon of choice. No one is going to save you two now, he said and I thought it was now or never. He started to move his arm back to the front as I quickly grabbed onto his hand and wrestled for the gun. He slammed on the brakes while popping up in his seat to fight me. With my one hand wrestling for the gun, I picked up the flashlight with my other and whacked it over his head. He dropped the gun, recoiling from the blow. Jumping up, I smacked him hard again causing him to slouch over and pass out. His foot slid off the brake, but thanks to the level surface the SUV was now moving slowly. Frantically, I searched for the gun along the floor but it had slid under Lizzies seat. Joie, get me out! Lizzie screamed. Cyrus moaned as he started to come around so I stopped looking for the gun and jumped out of the SUV. Thankfully the Escalade had come to a stop allowing me to get out and race up to the passengers side door. Cyrus was fully conscious now so I grabbed onto Lizzies waist. Cyrus fought me for her, but Lizzie was leaning with all her weight and pushed her long legs against him. Cyrus was afraid of losing Lizzie and hit the gas causing her to be jerked from my grasp. BAM! The SUV slammed backwards and I ducked out of the way of the door because it had collided hard into the back of a black Rav4. Cyrus and Lizzie jerked forward as the airbags exploded. It immobilized him long enough for me to pull Lizzie free and onto the soft ground. Though her hands were bound behind her back with duct tape, there wasnt any time to free her. I quickly helped her to her feet so we could run down a line of cars away from the Escalade. There was loud shouting coming from a group of fans in front of the SUV and more people started to gather around the car wreck. Lizzie and I ducked behind a truck while I worked on freeing her wrists. Although I loosened the tape, Cyrus had wrapped it so tightly that I couldnt get it off with just my hands. Before I could finish, the Escalade reversed and swerved down our lane. Lizzie panicked and took off with her hands still tucked behind her back. There was no other choice but to leave the hiding spot and chase after her. We were running through parked lanes of cars so Cyrus had to stop and get out to chase us on foot. I finally caught up with Lizzie, when I heard the zing of a bullet ricochet off a nearby silver Acclaim. We hunched down and ran through the next lane of parked cars. Before Lizzie crossed another lane, I quickly pulled her behind a small line of Winnebagos. Lizzies hands now easily slipped out of the slimy duct tape due to all the sweat from running. Lizzie tried the side door to one of the campers while I tried the other, but they were both locked. I quickly halted before coming around the rear of a camper. My arm jetted out instinctively to stop Lizzie when I saw Cyrus looking back and forth in the middle of the next lane. We quietly retreated back between the bulky Winnebagos. Inching around the front of the camper, I spotted a pickup truck two spaces down. The pickup truck, I whispered and led her over to the back of it. I was thankful that the campers blocked our view from Cyrus. The truck was one of those beasts that were raised high off the ground and could pull a bunch of crap like they do in the commercials. I jumped up in the back, but it was so high off the ground that I was having a hard time pulling Lizzie up, who although taller than me, didnt seem to have any upper body strength to pull herself up. It was the first time in the girls life that Lizzie felt like a summa wrestler as I tried to pull her up again and into the bed of the truck. Girls, Cyrus called out in a low, sickly voice. You cant hide for long. Judging by his voice, I knew that he was on the other side of the camper. Lizzie stumbled back again to the ground. I know you cant be far, he sang.

Panic crossed her face. Shaking the stiffness out of my arms, I slowly nodded for her to try again. Lizzie stepped up one more time and I finally pulled her over the back of the truck. Grimacing when the truck bounced a fraction, we quietly laid down in the trucks bed. We could hear him grunting and I realized that he was searching for our feet under the vehicles. Come out, come out, where ever you are, he called out eerily. My stomach dropped at the nearness of his voice. He was wheezing as he came closer to the truck. Lizzie stiffened beside me. Realizing that he would have to jump up to see us, I said a short prayer as the distant cry of police sirens came closer. Where are you? You little brats, he growled when suddenly Cyruss fingers wrapped around the edge of the truck. He was trying to get a foot on the tire, but he kept sliding off. Lizzie and I grabbed each others hands. She swallowed hard as I prepared to punch Cyrus right in the face. My heart was racing inside of my chest. I knew that it wouldnt be enough to stop him. Theres the guy who was driving the SUV and took off! a guy shouted three rows down by the parked Escalade. Cyrus quickly tightened his grip on his gun and shot a bullet at the overzealous crowd. Then he took off running. Oh, shit! a guy shouted. Hes got a gun! Someone get the cops! he added while retreating. We listened, but didnt hear anything for the next several minutes. The sound of police sirens could be heard in the distance. Just then a group of concert goers rushed past the truck. WHAOO, a guy howled. Shanes feeling good. A girl laughed. The murmuring of conversation got louder around us. Turning to Lizzie, her eyes were wet with tears, so I squeezed her hand to comfort her. It was the first time that I had a moment to think clearly. Pulling out my cell phone, I texted Riley, Get back to the van, but be careful, the Grimm Reaper is in the parking lot. Riley is in danger, I whispered. It wont be long until Cyrus finds the van. The van is beside a really big, green camper like forty six lanes back from the entrance. She gulped and nodded along in agreement. Its going to stick out eventually. My eyebrows raised in astonishment. You know where the van is? Yeah, werent we running towards it? She looked at me questioningly. How do you know how many lanes of cars? I counted them, she said, like duh. Thats pretty resourceful. You should really consider getting a job as one of the venue crew, I mumbled in awe. Hello, thats why I have Warren so I dont have to get a job. Oh yeah, what was I thinking? Rolling my eyes, I heard the group of friends loud conversation fade into the distance. The cops had already passed three lanes away and were continuing their search further down the parking lot. Where did Cyrus go? Before I could stop her, Lizzie tilted her head up and I felt my stomach drop with fear. The coast is clear. She smiled down at me. Slowly, I lifted my head and sighed with relief. Lets get the hell out of here. Lizzie and I jumped down from the back of truck. Without even glancing over my shoulder, we ran flat out toward the van. Once we were a safe distance away from the truck and there were more people around us, we slowed down. We felt a little safer in the crowd of exiting people just as the van came into our view. We raced over and whirled around, looking for any sign of Riley as I quickly backpedaled to the door. Colliding into someone tall and strong, I screamed, AHHH! Joie, its me, Riley explained. Grabbing at my chest, I turned around to look up at him. Oh, thank god. Youre safe. So hes really here? Riley looked troubled. The blue paint had smeared down his face. Yeah, and hes armed. Can we save the chit-chatting for later? Lizzie interrupted. I just want to get the hell out of here, alive. Lizzie slid back the door and hopped inside the van as I came around the drivers side. We quickly got situated and I started up the van while scanning the parking lot before pulling out of the space. A few minutes later, we passed through a police barricade without a hitch. Who would have thought that I would be relieved to be back on the highway again? Lizzie, you should call Warren. I already am, she said with a shaky voice. Riley, I hope you dont mind starting our trip to Atlanta a little bit early. No, I think we should stick around. He smirked, but it didnt reach his troubled eyes. Warren says that he cant believe it. Lizzie braced the phone against her chest. He says that Jeff Monroe is as

Warren says that he cant believe it. Lizzie braced the phone against her chest. He says that Jeff Monroe is as dependable as they come and that hes been with the band since the beginning. Who the hell is Jeff Monroe? I asked. Our driver went by the name of Cyrus Ripley. Oh, hell, Riley groaned. He was your driver? We locked eyes with each other and I nodded. No, he wasnt a tall black man, Lizzie said while slightly frantic by the implications. I dont know who the hell he was! No, I dont want to talk to security! Lizzie huffed while showing signs of losing it. Give me the phone, I said, holding out my hand. Lizzie slapped the phone down in my hand. Hello? How long has this Cyrus been chauffeuring you around? The bodyguard asked me, whose voice I recognized as Woodleys with his thick New York accent. In the background another frantic, deep voice yelled for someone to contact Jeff Monroe. The last three days, I explained. Ive never even met a Jeff Monroe. Do you remember what he looks like? Hes white, about six feet tall, shaved head, a built kind of a man, with a distinct neck tattoo, I thought back to Cyrus in the Escalade and continued, of a dark scythe. Tonight was the first time I saw it which made me realize who he was. You think that he was The Grimm Reaper? He held us hostage at gunpoint. Im pretty certain. Ill get back to you, he responded. Okay. Thank you, Ill be in touch. Heres Warren, he said before I handed the phone back to Lizzie. Its Warren. Hi, yeah, Im okay. Were already heading to Atlanta. Lizzie tried to sound brave for him. Yeah, Ill leave my cell on. Love you too, bye. I got a bad feeling about this Jeff Monroe guy, I confessed while looking out at the dark highway. He was supposed to have been driving us around for three whole days now. Thinking back to the last three nights, I remembered how Cyrus was always in a hurry to leave the backstage. Oh, my god! It suddenly dawned on me. The first night, there was coffee spilled all over the front seat. Like a fight broke out? Riley looked at me in alarm. A struggle, maybe? Thinking back to the night, I whispered, I dont know. A pang of guilt settled into my stomach for not recognizing Cyrus for the fraud that he was sooner, especially now that someones life might depend on it. Why had I never picked up on any of the clues while we were with him? He never spoke to any of the other crew members. Actually, if I thought about it, he was always quick to leave or flash his pass at a distance when leaving the gates. Of course, I did notice the creepy way he stared at Lizzie every time, like she was lunch. The thought alone made me shudder. Lizzie scooted in between the two of our seats, obviously still terrified from the experience. We continued to drive down the darkened highway heading for Atlanta in silence.

8. CONFESSIONS
Lizzie would start to nod off and then jolt herself awake again. She continued to do this for another hour until she finally caved and went in the back to sleep. I, on the other hand, was traveling like I had downed five red bulls. Nothing could stop me and my need to get as far away from the Bonnaroo Festival as possible. Continuously, I would look through the rearview mirror while watching to see if anyone was tagging us. If Riley sensed the panic within me, he didnt talk about it. Apparently, almost getting abducted spoke for itself. It didnt help that the vans headlights only illuminated a couple feet in front of us; just enough to make out the yellow dash marks along the highway. The dark shadows seemed to hover around us. We had driven many miles since Manchester, Tennessee, but I knew what I was truly running away from was a memory I couldnt shake. It was of a psychopath pursuing us so intensely that I wasnt sure if one failed attempt would stop him. No matter how many miles I physically put in between us and the horrific night it didnt feel like enough. After driving through the mountains with little traffic, which made us stand out too much for my liking, I practically welcomed the rush hour drag in Atlanta. I drove in the middle of the six lanes because it required the least amount of brainwork. We were bumper to bumper, slowing until we came to a complete stop. Releasing my tense grip on the steering wheel, I stretched out my arms and yawned from exhaustion. The jittery feelings of adrenaline

grip on the steering wheel, I stretched out my arms and yawned from exhaustion. The jittery feelings of adrenaline were slowly wearing off. When the traffic picked up again, we made a quick stop to refuel the van at a gas station. Riley, who was still mostly painted blue and had one alien antenna bent back in the wrong direction, offered to drive. As he drove, we discussed our sleeping arrangements. We vowed to never use a Walmart parking lot for sleeping again, but I still had an unsettling feeling that we were not far from danger. We werent planning to stop attending the concerts and I feared that neither was Cyrus. Lizzie probably still wouldnt be able to pick him out of a line up, let alone notice if he was three rows back from her. It was terrifying since he seemed very interested in her. On cue, Lizzie sat up. Morning, sunshine, I said brightly over my shoulder. Were still on the road? she croaked. Were almost at our hotel, Riley informed her while looking out at the packed traffic in front of us. If we could only just get out and walk. Lizzie groaned and threw the sheet off of her. Im hungry. Passing back a box of donuts and a jug of orange juice, I called out, Breakfast of champions. I dont want to get fat, she muttered and tossed the doughnuts to the side. She had only been asleep for about three hours now so I wasnt surprised by her less than chipper mood, but I needed for her to listen to me. This just couldnt wait. Why wont you give Harrison your social security number? Harrison? she asked. Hawkins bodyguard? I cant remember the number, she said flatly. Ah huh. Not buying a word of it, I said, Why is that? You got caught drinking under age? No, that Im proud of. She laughed. I dont remember it, okay? I think I know why. Riley was hesitant to share. Whatever it is, I reasoned. It cant be worse than being unprotected around The Grimm Reaper. Lizzie busied herself with twirling off the cap from the jug of orange juice. That stint in Juvi? Riley perked up in his seat as he looked through the rearview mirror at Lizzie. Stealing, wasnt it? What part of I dont want to talk about it, dont you understand?! Lizzie shouted, surprising both of us. Whatstealing lipstick? Warren isnt going to care, I pressed. But this guy, this stalker, almost got away with abducting us. Who knows what hes capable of? Am I stuttering? Lizzie threw her arm out exasperatedly. We just dont get it, I continued while staring out at the congestion on the highway. Why wouldnt she want to protect herself by being with Warren for the time being? Grand theft auto, okay! Lizzie barked. Im pretty sure thats a hell of a lot worse than stealing some cheap lip stick. Didnt Rocco steal the car? Riley asked. Technically, it wasnt your fault. Explain that to Warren, she said harshly. Whispering, I said, Oh, Lizzie, I didnt know. My mom didnt want your mom to know. Her shoulders slumped over with shame. Wait a minute. I thought about it. Is that when you said that you were home schooled for mono? Yeah, my mom was ashamed, she confessed. So, sorry if I dont want to give Harington my social. Harrison? Whatever. She rolled her eyes, but then her face twitched with confusion. I thought his name was Wayne? Its just a nickname. I tried to dismiss it. I didnt know that you were like that with the bodyguards. Lizzies lips curled up into a smirk. Is that why they give you all that special treatment? What are you talking about? Theyre always ushering the other girls away from Hawkins when youre around. So it has to be the bodyguards, it couldnt be because Hawkins wants to spend time with me? I glared back at her through the rearview mirror. Whoa, could your head get any bigger? She widened her eyes dramatically. What?!

Okay, girls, Riley interrupted us. Retract the claws. What the hell, Im the one with the big head? Thats rich, coming from her. I decided to just let her comments go as Riley pulled the van up to the front of The Sheraton Hotel. It was a bit pricier than we usually spent on a hotel, but Riley and I decided that it was safer than the regular Days Inn because of the enclosure of the building. We continued to follow the signs for parking and pulled into the underground garage of the hotel. It didnt feel safe to leave so much money in the van now that I knew Cyrus could identify it, but I knew that we also shouldnt have it in the hotel either. Standing outside the van, I tried to decide what to do with the money and the tickets when it hit me. Didnt Cyrus drive us back to the hotel that night after the wardrobe malfunction? I turned to ask Lizzie who was still fuming. I dont know, she growled. Remember, the doors were unlocked? You think that he broke into our van? Riley questioned me. Yeah, but why? He didnt take any cash or tickets, I reminded him. Remember we found a pocket knife? Riley reminded me. Are you sure it was your dads? Chills ran down my spine. Quickly turning around, I went to the side and flung the door open. After jumping in, I proceeded to turn everything upside down and over, even the cot in the back, but I found nothing suspicious. Riley checked up front while looking for anything unusual, but he was done in less than a couple of minutes. I felt silly and relieved with my hands on my hips when everything seemed in order. I stashed the money and tickets in my navy blue book bag where I also kept my clothes. Hiking it over my shoulder, we headed over to the hotels elevator. We hauled ourselves into the elevator and took it up to the hotel lobby. The lobby was beautiful with its high ceilings and indoor garden. A water fountain could be heard in the distance as we crossed the marble tiled floor to the hotel desk to check in. Soon after, we were heading back to the elevators. Vaguely, I remembered walking down a hallway and into a room with a view that overlooked the city before crashing on the nearest bed. Five hours later, the theme song for Mission Impossible blared in my jeans pocket, jolting me awake. Flipping over on my back, I ripped the phone out of my pocket and glanced down at Mom calling. Seriously?! Did I really need this right now? I glared up at the ceiling so that God would know I was talking to him before I flipped the phone open. Hello? I said while sitting up. Josephine? No, Mom, you called someone elses cell phone. Yeah? Oh, my god, my mom said in her overly dramatic way. Im so glad that I reached you. Wish I could say the same. Where are you? Atlanta, Georgia. Did you hear about Lizzie? Oh, shit. What about Lizzie? I pretended to be clueless. Lizzie suddenly stopped applying mascara in front of the mirror and froze while looking back at me through the reflection. You havent heard? My moms voice hovered over the phone. It was good that I did know where Lizzie was because Im pretty sure anyone else would have thought she was dead by now. No, Mom, I lied. Im on the campaign trail, remember? Whats up? I dont even know where to start, my mom said and I couldnt blame her. Apparently, shes following this band around like a groupie. Shes been on the news and in all these magazines, my mom explained. Her parents are disgraced. Everyones talking about it here, she whispered. I mean everybody. Theyve been trying to reach her, but she wont answer her cell phone. Wow. I glared at Lizzie. I cant believe she hasnt called them to let them know shes okay. Lizzie shook her head at me and then continued to apply mascara in the mirror. She was dressed in a black sequined top with silver bangles practically up to her elbows and tight black leather pants. It was an outfit better selected to work the nearest corner than go to a concert. Knowing Lizzie she probably just lost her cell phone. I tried to console my mom. Maybe, my mom contemplated it. Im just glad that you would never do anything that stupid. Ah huh, I agreed, after all what else could I say?

So have you met Nicholas Johnson personally, yet? Oh, yeah, I lied. Hes a real decent guystraight arrow that one. Lizzie made fun of me by silently mocking my expressions. Mom, I got to go. I tried to sound busy and distant. Umm, Im kind of in the middle of something. Im so proud of you, my mom gushed. Oh god, Im going to hell. I really thought that you were going nowhere there for a minute, she continued in her overly sensitive way. But Im so glad you finally found your niche in life. My daughter the politician, she said proudly. Thats me. Crap, I felt like a piece of shit. Love you. You too, bye, honey. Snapping the phone shut, I took some of my anger and guilt out on Lizzie. Call your mom so mine will stop calling me. Everyone in Shadyside is talking about you. Theyd be talking about you too if they only knew, Lizzie clucked while turning to look over at me. We are no different. She turned around to face the mirror again while layering on another coat of mascara. Yeah, except I manage to keep my clothes on, especially around cameras. You wish you were getting the attention I am, and I plan for these clothes to be lying on the floor by the end of the night if I have my way, she said with a smug smile. I knew that she was talking about tonight with Hawkins, but I just ignored her and turned to Riley. Any tweets? Actually, no, he explained. Apparently whatever happened last night is between you and Hawkins. Yeah, because who wants to hear about you getting sick on a plane? Lizzie laughed. Youre probably right, I muttered to myself. Everybodys real shaken up about Jeff Monroe. Riley changed the subject. No one still knows where he is. The comment had me replaying the way Cyrus shot at us without a moments hesitation last night. Its probably because hes already dead. The confession came with a cold shiver down my spine and for a moment we didnt speak a word to each other. I know, Ill feel better when they catch this psychopath, Riley confessed. Couldnt agree more, I stressed. Looking at the clock, I realized it was time to get ready for the concert. Did you guys leave me any hot water? We just thought you would want to go looking like that, Lizzie jabbed while glancing down at my sweats. She says that, but would be totally embarrassed if I wore them to the actual concert so I just closed the bathroom door. Peeling off my clothes, I discarded them to the floor for a quick hot shower. The water felt good running down my back. It helped ease the tension from my stiff muscles. After showering, I brushed my teeth not once, but twice. I took the time to blow out my hair with the hotels hair dryer because I wanted to look good if I was going to get interrogated by Hawkins. Id have to say our little meet and greets were becoming interesting. He was frustrating beyond belief, frustrating and hot. I knew that I was not exactly showing up just because he could fire Riley now, but the last thing I was going to do was admit that to anyone. Sifting through my small collection of clothes, I pushed the t-shirt with Hawkins face on it to the side and grabbed up the other shirt that read The Grimm Brothers Band across it. It was powder blue and looked good with my dark jeans. After I got dressed, I came out of the bathroom and looked over at Riley, who due to a long, hot shower wasnt painted blue anymore. Are we ready to do this? So ready, Lizzie emphasized as she strutted past me to the door. A strong whiff of something woodsy and potent filled my nose. Pulling up my shirt to cover my nose, I took a breath. I knew that it was rude, but so was putting enough perfume on for the group. Riley was also letting Lizzie move ahead of us as we walked down the hallway to the elevators. In no time the doors flung back open to the darkened parking lot. Looking over my shoulder, we passed a line of cars as we walked towards the van. The rational part of my mind was telling me to calm down. It was a big city filled with several hotels, but I was still not comfortable as the memory of last night played in my mind. Unlocking the van, I slipped behind the wheel. We pulled out of the garage while Riley flipped through the maps and directions as we merged onto the highway. My copilot led the way to the venue as a city full of skyscrapers flew by us. We came to a standstill when we hit rush hour traffic again. Sinking back into my seat, I tried to relax as we crawled along the freeway. Glancing over at Riley, I noticed that he had taken extra time to blow dry his hair and iron his shirt. It was the most put together I had seen him in days. Hoping to see Rob Harlow? I asked.

most put together I had seen him in days. Hoping to see Rob Harlow? I asked. The band is kind of busy if you havent noticed? he said, smiling. I need something to look forward to. Oh, about that. Lizzie flashed her dazzlingly smile. Its official. He is?! Riley perked up in his seat. Its a sure thing. She licked her glossy lips. When did you have time? I asked with exasperation. Youre not the only one with secrets, Lizzie said with a devious smile. Yes! Riley fist pumped the air and then looked over at us. You know whatever, he said sheepishly. Ah, huh, I teased while starting to move along the highway again. The traffic continued to accelerate until it was zipping past us going well over eighty miles an hour. The speed was scaring me since I couldnt keep up. Pressing the gas pedal to the floor, I watched the odometer twitch one or two more notches, but nothing over sixtyseven. Finally, our exit came into view and we pulled off the deadly highway. Gosh, all this driving was exhausting. No one wanted to do this part of the trip which was okay because Lizzie would have had us wrapped around a guard rail in seconds and Riley would never have gotten his work done which was kind of the point of the trip. After thirty minutes, we entered the venue and a crew member flagged us into a spot before I cut off the engine. We all sat in silence until Riley asked if we just wanted to head up. Not even Lizzie wanted to tailgate today in the aftermath of what happened with Cyrus last night. I hiked my book bag up over my shoulder, not wanting to leave the thick manila envelope filled with cash and tickets in the van. Hopefully no one was going to give me a hard time about the contents of my bag. Some venues let you get away with certain things while others were more particular and wouldnt even let you bring in a blanket for the lawn. Because we started our trek earlier than the others around us, we skipped the paved sidewalk beside the lines of concert traffic in case Cyrus was driving by. Instead, we crossed through the parking lots in the general direction of the pavilion. We were sweating by the time we reached security. Scanning the venue crew, I looked for the weakest link out of the bunch and pulled Lizzie over with me into that line. A guy in his late thirties with a stocky build, who was dressed in a bright yellow shirt, asked me to turn around. I did a quick, innocent twirl. Let me see inside your back pack. That part I knew would be inevitable. Lizzie, why did you make me carry your bag? I pretended to sulk. What? Lizzie asked as the man sifted through my clothes and I nudged her side. He was about to wrap his hand around the envelope of cash and tickets when Lizzie entered his personal space. Everything is okay, right? she asked in her puppy dog voice while batting her lashes up at the man. You can pass. The guy nodded at me and I walked through the tight gates with Lizzie behind me. After they scanned our tickets, we met up with Riley. The Larks were already playing on the stage by the time we found our seats. Unfortunately, we were exposed with all the open seats around us because most people were still tailgating back in the parking lot. There was a clear view of us from the second pavilion to the lawn. To be more inconspicuous, we should have tailgated for a while I realized. The sun slowly set, casting a light apricot glow over the hill behind us by the time The Larks were finishing up and enough people had filled in around us that I felt comfortable for the first time since we had entered the place. The crowd roared to life as Hawkins crossed the stage. He gave a long look across the sold out pavilion before he zeroed in on me. There was a hint of concern that lingered in his eyes before he turned around and grabbed his black Gibson. Hawkins swung it over his shoulder as the crowd around me went crazy with anticipation. He hit the first chord and the lights went up. The spotlight suddenly zinged over to Lizzie while Hawkins sang in my direction. Lizzie jumped to life beside me, black stilettos and all. A small smile played across my face because I knew that he wasnt singing to Lizzie, he was singing to me. Sadly though, I noticed over Hawkins shoulder that Warren didnt look happy with Lizzie as she continued to dance throughout the night. When the band exited the stage at the end of the show, Lizzie strutted down the aisle headed in the direction of the backstage doors. Looking over at Riley, as the packed amphitheater tried to rush out of the venue, I asked, Do you want to come with me? Not after what happened at Bonnaroo. Riley insisted while grapping my backpack from me. I need to get the van out of here. Okay, just keep your cell phone on. I hugged him before I hurried down the aisle behind Lizzie. Miller was holding the door open for me when I arrived and to my surprise, Woodley was also waiting there for us. We have some photos of possible suspects, Woodley explained to me. Do you think that you could identify him? Yeah, sure, I said. Good. He pointed to Lizzie. This one here cant remember anything. This one? My names Lizzie, she said hotly while stealing a glance over his shoulder. She was probably looking

This one? My names Lizzie, she said hotly while stealing a glance over his shoulder. She was probably looking for Hawkins. Come with me. Woodley directed us down a hallway and into a dressing room. Harrison and Hampton were waiting there for us, too. Mirrors were lined intermittently down the right side of the wall with three hairdressing stations in front of them. Across from me, clothes racks were lined back to back like it was a shopping mall. Scattered throughout the room were large vases with freshly cut white roses. Woodley followed my gaze and explained, A certain diva is coming here tomorrow. You wouldnt believe the list of things she asked for. He motioned for me to follow him over to a rectangular table to my left. Approaching the table, I noticed another guy that I didnt recognize from behind was looking over the pictures scattered across the long table as well. Do any of these guys look familiar, Rob? Woodley asked as my mouth dropped open with surprise. Rob Harlow?! I dont know, I only saw him in passing, Rob said hesitantly. It was dark outside. Maybe this one. He tossed a photo over to the side. Joie? Woodley asked. Oh, but you know her name, Lizzie blurted out while tapping her stiletto impatiently and continuing to look back at the door. Rob looked up and his shaggy blonde hair fell back off his face. Our eyes met for a moment and I couldnt suppress the big ole grin on my face. If only Riley could be here! Umm, sure. Walking up beside Rob, I looked over the photos, too. My focus suddenly changed with the seriousness of the situation. A dozen or so photos of men that I had never seen before were scattered across the table. No, its none of these guys, I said with a hundred percent certainty. What about him? Rob pulled a photo over from the side. It was out of focus and blurred, but I could clearly see that this man didnt have any of Cyruss features. No, thats not him either. Do you think you could give the authorities a detailed sketch of the guy? Hampton asked me. Can you remember him that well? Harrison interrupted before I could respond. Yeah, Im usually the designated driver, I smiled. If you know what I mean? Woodley nodded at me then turned to Harlow and said, Thanks, Rob, for your time. Sorry I couldnt be more helpful, Rob said regretfully as he went to leave. Umm, Rob? I spoke up while unexpectedly feeling a wave of nervousness since I was talking to the man Riley admired so much. Yes? He swung his sandy hair out of his eyes to look over at me. I know that this is seriously not the appropriate time for this, but my friend is a huge fan of yours. Rob smiled at me for the first time and said, Its okay. Grabbing my ticket out of my back pocket, I started searching the table for a pen when Lizzie announced, Because you know, we just love the gays. Rob wasnt smiling anymore. My eyes expanded as I looked at Lizzie. Im so sorry. I fumbled with my words when Rob turned for the door and left without giving me his autograph. I cannot believe you! I yelled at her and it seemed to echo off the walls long after I was done. Ladies, Woodley interrupted. Umm, can we focus? Completely dumbfounded, I looked back over at Woodley. Can I leave or what? Lizzie asked. Its not like I remember the guy or anything. Yes, you can go, he answered. Her glossy lips pulled up into a triumphant smile before she passed by me. I was not used to seeing this side of her. That was probably because I never had anything that she wanted this badly before. Though I was pretty sure I didnt actually have what she wanted in the first place. Do you mind waiting? Woodley asked me. No, its okay, I assured him while crossing my arms. We waited there for over an hour for the authorities, but somehow there was a miscommunication about needing a sketch artist. Woodley was fuming about who dropped the ball, the police or one of his own? How could you forget to tell them we needed a sketch artist?! He said that a tour bus was next! Woodley grumbled to Harrison and Hampton who were huddled to the side by one of the hairdressers chairs in front of the mirrors. How did he even get backstage? Harrison asked with exasperation. And why do the venue surveillance cameras have no record of him walking in the hallways? Woodley asked gruffly. Thats what I want to know.

Someone had to have clearance to let him in, Harrison added. I agree. Hampton looked over his shoulder at me and suddenly lowered his voice so that I couldnt listen in anymore. The guys broke up their heated discussion when a few officers entered into the room. Although there wasnt a sketch artist with them, I did provide the police with a description of Cyrus. Though how many tall, white, built, bald men with a tattoo did I know? Just looking at the crew alone, I could have rattled off a few. After another long hour with the authorities, Woodley escorted me out of the room. I knew that Lizzie was long gone to some unknown location with Hawkins. Wondering how I was going to get back to the van, my eyes slowly adjusted from the bright light of the room to the dimly lit walkways of the backstage. Woodley continued to usher me down the hallway when I recognized a familiar, tall silhouette leaning against a nearby wall. Hawkins wasnt anywhere with Lizzie I realized. Hawkins was standing right there waiting for me. She was very helpful, Woodley said to Hawkins when we approached him. Im just glad that someone could be. Hawkins made a clear jab at Lizzie. Thanks. The bodyguard backpedaled a few steps and replied, No problem. He then turned around to leave us alone. Hawkins continued to watch the bodyguard exit down the hallway. It gave me a minute to discreetly look him up and down. He was wearing a short-sleeve red t-shirt that had Brooklyn printed on it that showed off his large biceps and slightly baggy jeans which looked hot on him. The leather cuff he wore from time to time was around his wrist. I looked up and met his gaze while he stared down at me. Those blue eyes didnt seem surprised, or condescending for that matter. Are you wearing another one of our shirts? He tugged at it from the bottom to straighten it out over my chest. Yes, I gently slapped his hand away, but its not why you think. Ah, huh, he said, not sounding totally convinced with a wicked grin on his face. So how do you feel about tour buses? You have got to be kidding me. I rolled my eyes. He wrapped an arm around me to guide me down the hallway. Although I didnt want to go on his bus, I did like his arm around my shoulder. What? You have a problem with tour buses or something? He looked like nothing could please him more. We walked down the boardwalk-like hallway. Lights were lined intermittently up above, casting off just enough light for us to see the ground below. Yeah, I do. Tilting my head against his shoulder to look up at him, I realized how close our faces were to each other now. His warm breath trickled down my neck and the smell of fresh aftershave filled my nose. The heat and smell momentarily disoriented me until a small knowing smile crossed his lips. Snapping my head forward, I lied on a whim. Now, that I know The Grimm Reaper is planning to target one of them. Hawkins just threw his head back with laughter. Ohh, I got it now, he said sarcastically while tightening his grip around my shoulder as we pushed through the doorway. The wooden planks beneath us changed to bits of gravel in the parking lot. Across from us was a line of tour buses. So thats what really terrifies you? He seemed humored by the question. He released his firm grasp on me when we reached his tour bus. Of course, I emphasized in a valiant effort to sound sensible. So this isnt about your rules, then? he asked knowingly. If only Lizzie would have kept her trap shut, I thought grudgingly. No, I said, surer than I felt. Good. He propped open the door and waved. Get in. The Grimm Reaper, I reminded him in a soft, hushed voice. I had security thoroughly check the bus, he explained. You have nothing to worry about. It wasnt like I had kept my displeasure of being on a tour bus from him. We both knew that this visit wasnt by chance. Right, I murmured, but hesitated at the opening of the tour bus. Its completely harmless, he said while nearly close to laughter. I rolled my eyes. Damn you, Hawkins! I had already broken several rules. Whats one more? So I turned and walked up the steps. The tour bus felt oddly intimate and private, like I had walked into Hawkins home for the first time. Of course, it was stunning and filled with all the bachelors pad necessities. I gazed down at the leather seating on either side of the aisle in the front. The kitchen area was behind the couches: gray slick countertops, stainless steel fridge, and a lavish half circular booth for sitting. Further down the aisle were bunk beds on both sides. Hawkins passed by me to turn on the lights to the rest of the bus. He quickly collected some items of clothing and clutter in an effort to pick up the place. Hawkins tossed the stuff into a darkened room in the back, which I assumed was his bedroom, shut the door

and turned off the light in the back. But it was the little things that made the bus personal: little mementos and photos covering the fridge, an iPod with ear phones was stashed in the corner of the couch, a bag of left over fast food was on the counter, and empty, green beer bottles were still in their cup holders along the table. Hawkins met me halfway back down the aisle. He gazed around the bus before he tilted his head back down to look at me. Pretty fancy. I nodded while glancing around at the kitchen area. Hey, its better than all of us being crammed into one van, he emphasized, thinking that I was being sarcastic. Amen to that, I said under my breath. Now, where were we? he asked while rummaging through his fridge. Coke? Sure. He grabbed up two bottles of coke and placed them on the table before he sat down. He motioned for me to sit across from him. The dim light above the table gave off a flattering glow, and the ebb of darkness around the small booth made it feel suddenly intimate. What do you want to know about me? he asked. So you can ridicule me later? He arched his eyebrow as he took another sip of his coke. What makes you think that I havent already figured you out? I glared at him. Oh, wow. He tilted his head. Umm, he said mockingly, like he was trying to really think about it. Could it be all the wrong assumptions youve already made about my life? Or could it be because you havent figured yourself out yet, he said under his breath as he rested his elbow on the table and dangled the bottle in front of him before taking another sip. Oh, really? Yes, really, he insisted while locking eyes with mine. All of the attention was a little daunting, but I forced myself to keep eye contact. Like what havent I figured out? I asked him mockingly. Why are you following us around? he asked innocently enough. It felt like a time to be honest. What did it matter now, anyway? My dad died recently, I shrugged. He didnt make much of his life and now my mom is pestering me because shes afraid Ill turn out like him. So youre avoiding her? he said, sounding slightly disappointed. Im preserving what sanity I still have left. Hows she pestering you? He looked at me curiously as he took another sip of his drink. College is in the fall, I muttered. Shes hell bent on me succeeding at something. I looked away from his daunting gaze to the fridge across the aisle. So, what have you chosen? he asked. I mean, if you know yourself so well and all. A crooked little smile played across his face while his eyebrows peaked, prompting me to answer. Ive discovered that I am a damn good writer. I smirked as I said it. Thats what you think. He laughed. Good enough to get hired by your record company. Like its really hard to trash a person. He sat up and met my smirk with his own. Crap, was he intimidating! Crossing my arms, I pinched my face like, you dont know anything. Where does your mom really think that you are now? He arched his eyebrow knowingly as he took another sip of his coke. Pondering whether I should continue with the truth, Hawkins tilted his head and looked up at me with those crystal clear blue eyes. She thinks that Im working for Senator Johnsons campaign, I said flatly. He suddenly sprayed the soda in laughter. Wonderful That was, umm, he wiped a hand across his mouth, unexpected. Youre such a jerk. I shook my head while grinning. What is it that you do exactly for Senator Johnsons campaign? His expression looked unfathomable as though he couldnt picture it. Suddenly I was regretting my confession. It only seemed to make him happier. Writing for his website, I admitted with all seriousness. Wow, that couldnt have been very good for his campaign, he wagered. Senator Johnsons speech jolted my bones, he quoted my review while laughing.

bones, he quoted my review while laughing. Really, since were sharing tonight, why do you want to quit the band? I shot back while glaring across the table at him. The smile suddenly left his face. Who told you that? Its just what Ive heard. I wondered how accurate Riley was in his assumptions now that I was openly saying them to Hawkins. Heard or assumed? he questioned. Because with you, I have to ask. Heard, I said, like my source was as legit as they come and not the offhand discussion I had with a friend. So? The fame is really hard to deal with, he said sarcastically when I realized that Riley had been right. Yes, to have everyone there at your beck and call. Making millions of dollars doing something you love. I rolled my eyes at him. Well, not the beck and call partaside from you, he added jokingly before saying, I used to love it. What happened? Actually, he said gravely. I lost someone, too. The sarcasm suddenly disappeared from his tone. He looked distractedly over my shoulder like his thoughts suddenly took him a hundred miles away. My brother. He exhaled heavily with the confession. He died in a car crash not that long ago. Oh. Please dont say that youre sorry. He held up a hand to stop me. His twisted expression made the shadows on his face contort under the lighting. Why do people use that expression anyway? he asked with annoyance. Its because they dont know what to say. I assumed, which was strange since I had wondered the same thing when my dad passed. So you wanted to quit because of your brother? I tried to make sense of it. Okay, first of all, Hawkins pushed his drink to the side, there was no quitting, he set me straight. His upper lip curled in disgust from the insinuation. No? No. So he died and? I prompted him, but he hesitated while leaning back in his seat again. No, bullshit, I reminded him. Since Dylan died, when I tried to sit down and write a song, I couldnt. Music has always helped me deal with life and now its like that part of me is dead, too, he confessed like he was carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders. I got a sense I was the first to have heard about this. And whatever I try to do He looked distractedly down at his hands. I cant seem to get it back, he whispered almost to himself. The unexpected confession left us both silent. Tragic story, right? he said sarcastically in an effort to lift the mood. So people think that youre cynical when youre really I drifted off. Maybe this honest policy isnt what is best for either of us, he warned. He looked noticeably uncomfortable, like he regretted his confession. This isnt something I would share with anyone else, I hissed, upset that he would think so little of me. O-kay, he muttered. Another one of your promises that you wont keep? Throwing my hand up in the air, I snipped, It was all a misunderstanding. Why cant you understand that? Oh, god, not this again, he groaned while rolling his eyes. Whatever, I said, leaning back in the seat to a have a full sulking fit. I can tell that Im not ever going to be able to convince you. I huffed. God, youre so stubborn. Im the stubborn one? He laughed, but I could tell he was more amused than upset by the accusation. Fine, since were trusting each other now, why the rules? He continued to probe me with question after question, but I wasnt sure if being honest was in our best interests either. It was a good idea to set Lizzie straight at the beginning of the tour. Just to let her know I wasnt going to be tagging along, I lied. It was really only meant for her to hear. Who knew she would blurt them out to you. Ohh, I see, he hummed. I thought that we were being honest with each other? Are we or arent we? I said with an edge. Who can keep up? Youre not going to give me a straight answer, are you? He smiled knowingly at me. No, probably not, I confessed as a small smile escaped. Besides I thought that I was going to be the one asking questions?

questions? What do you want to know? he asked coyly. Why are you so fascinated with me anyway? There is no way Im the first person to call you arrogant, I said with a hundred percent certainty. No, youre not the first, he stressed. But the last person who told me to get my shit together, in so many words, ended up dead because I didnt take the keys from him when I knew that he had had too much to drink. Speechless, I realized that he meant his brother. Everyone else just smiles to my face. He frowned. For the first time, Hawkins had shut me up. Are you sure that you really want to ask me questions? he asked brightly. Im not exactly known for being optimistic, but you already knew that, right? His eyes twinkled from across the table. So, before I could comment, he changed the subject, why do you hang out with Lizzie? Staring at him surprisingly, I murmured, I like her. You like her? he reiterated. Feeling exasperated, I looked away from him before my eyes, flicked back, My parents are friends with her parents. Wow, now I find myself saying it. He flashed a smile that grew wider with each second. Im so sorry. We both laughed, releasing the tension of the previous conversation. So whats Warren like? I asked on a whim. A genuinely good guy, he answered. Whats Riley like? The smile disappeared from his face. Hes my best friend. Your best friend, huh? He suddenly narrowed his eyes suspiciously. The look reminded me of last night when he had misunderstood my need to find Riley so I decided to set him straight. Yes, I was the first person he came out to, I added for his benefit. Huh, oh right. He gave a curt nod then tried to hide a smile by taking a sip of his drink. Hed like to meet Rob Harlow, I blurted out absentmindedly. Rob is gay?! he sputtered. No! I quickly intervened. Riley just respects and admires his work. Is that what you say about me when youre lying? he asked coyly. That you respect and admire my work? No, I just tell them that youre arrogant and smug, remember? Ha, nice. He smiled. Well, its getting late. I noticed with a glance over at a nearby window. Yes, of course, weve got to get you back to that parking lot, right away. He pointed at me. His face was mockingly serious before he caved and laughed. Three of us live out of a van while you live out of a luxurious tour bus. That one cracks me up every time, too, I said sarcastically while scooting out of the booth. Hawkins slid out from his seat in one quick motion, landing on his feet in front of me in seconds. The closeness had him towering over me in the little walkway. We were so close I could feel the heat radiating from his body. Moving to the right at the same time he went to his left, landed us in the same spot. We both laughed. He wrapped his big hands around my shoulders making me feel like a little kid next to him. Im going to go to my left, he whispered. And youre going to go to your left. Unless you dont want to, that is. His gaze drifted down my lips and flicked back up to meet my eyes. Im not going to stop you, if you want to keep running into me like this, he whispered suggestively. Le-left it is, I stammered like an idiot, and I could tell he didnt care for my answer since it would take me down the aisle and away from him. Our bodies were almost touching when he leaned in to whisper in my ear, You know youre frustrating, right? Really? Yes, really, he insisted as the corner of his mouth lifted up. So, I guess we should try this again. He gestured down to the walkway. Remember, go to your left. I think I got it. I smiled. On the count of three, he continued, Onetwothree. Thinking we had this down, I went to my left, but he quickly went to his right causing me to plow right into him. He caught me, and our bodies pressed against each other for a brief moment. I thought you were going to go to your left? I whispered breathlessly.

I thought you were going to go to your left? I whispered breathlessly. And you trusted me? He looked down at my lips. With my past actions, I wouldve thought you would have been prepared. So you agree? I murmured. I agree? He leaned into me while tangling his fingers in my hair. Its good to know that you can finally admit it was you that started this game, I whispered. He stopped to stare over my shoulder in a delayed reaction. His face scrunched up skeptically before he dropped his mouth open to argue. I appreciate the confession. I fought back a smile. Maybe youll sleep better at night now? As I went to walk past him, he grabbed the back of my elbow and pulled me right back into the tight space between us. Oh no, you dont, he grumbled while the muscle in his jaw twitched. I didnt start anything. So your first words to me werent that you prefer blondes, I reminded him of the night in the elevator. Joie, he said with his lips hovering over mine. What? I felt my heart flutter. Shut up, he muttered and then he kissed me.

9. THE RULES
Bam! Lizzie slammed the door as she entered the room, waking me up. She hopped on my bed and the impact roughly tossed me up in the air and back onto the bed. So where were you last night? she asked me as I recoiled from her and pulled the pillow over my head. Hello under there?! She wrenched the pillow off my head. Good morning to you, too, I croaked while slowly waking up from my comatose state. The shower was running in the next room and I assumed it was Riley. Im waiting for an explanation, she said impatiently as I sat up. All this talk about how I am going to be Hawkins muse, but I have yet to see him long enough to play the part. Dont worry, your fifteen minutes of fame isnt up, I growled while rubbing my eyes. The bathroom door opened and Riley came out with a towel wrapped around his waist. The fresh scent of his cologne filled the room.

opened and Riley came out with a towel wrapped around his waist. The fresh scent of his cologne filled the room. Did she tell you anything? She eyed him suspiciously. No, Riley replied. He walked over to his duffle bag and began to get dressed. Most of my night was spent waiting for the authorities, I complained. Apparently, Im the only one who can remember Cyrus. I glared at her. So sorry, that you didnt have a good time last night, I said sarcastically as I headed over to the sink and brushed my teeth. Lizzie came over to the opened door and crossed her arms. So why is there a couple of dark tinted window SUVs outside protecting the hotel? What? I asked in the midst of brushing. Wayne is even out there, she huffed. Warren, hello? No, nice try, she said with a fierce look. Warren was just as surprised as I was to see that security was surrounding the hotel. Shrugging, I didnt say anything because I didnt know why they were there either. If they were there for Warren, then they should have been outside his hotel where I was staying not at yours. Hawkins had put security around my hotel? Are you sure it was security from the band? I checked with her. And not just a couple SUVs parked around the hotel? Oh, god, Lizzie groaned. Whats up with this hush, hush thing between Hawkins and you? What are you talking about? I questioned as though I didnt have a clue. Ah, huh. She rolled her eyes. Too bad today wasnt a driving day. The band had two nights planned for Atlanta on the tour. I really just wanted to keep my mind preoccupied by driving rather than be bombarded with questions about what happened and what didnt happen with Hawkins last night. Pretty much, I wasnt sure myself? I didnt know how to make sense of it, so in an effort to avoid any more conversations about Hawkins I was determined to get out of the hotel. After I got ready, which included me reminding Riley to have the hotel wash our clothes; I turned the black tshirt with Hawkins face across it inside out and put the damn thing on. Lizzie looked down at my shirt and scrunched up her face in disgust. Didnt this used to be a phase or something? Wearing your clothes inside out? I ripped the tag off from the back. Yeah, but now the only people who do it are homeless, she jabbed. Were living out of a van, I reminded her. I dont think we have room to judge. So who wants to go to The Underground Mall? I still have a review to write, Riley explained, apparently tuning us out by immersing himself in his work again. Lizzie? Please, Id rather spend the day with Warren. She said it like it was the most unappealing prospect ever. When you were with Ryan, you never wanted to be apart. What does this have to do with Ryan? she snapped. Maybe because youre still in love with him, I pointed out. Ryans not going anywhere, she said dismissively but the troubled expression on her face gave away her true feelings. Is that really all that matters? I asked her earnestly. Easy for you to say, she laughed, with your secret rendezvous at night with Hawkins. Whatever. I rolled my eyes. Ill be back before the concert. Making sure I heard the click of the hotel door, I walked down the hallway to the silver elevators. As I waited for the doors to open, I thought about the unnerving, frustrating effect Hawkins had over me. What was he doing with me? Playing games just because he could? This had nothing to do with his record company, that much I was sure of. Though, a piece of me wondered if maybe he just wanted to see me. The elevator doors dinged open and I got in. Pushing the button for the garage, I rested my back against the cool wall of the elevator. Though I knew half the infuriating part was that I would put myself through this night after night just to see him, too. And the kissthe hungry passionate kiss only made everything so much more confusing. My heart was changing no matter how hard my brain was trying to stop it. The doors sprung back open to the darkened parking lot. Still thinking about Hawkins, I walked towards the van. I hoped that I could find The Underground Mall in such a busy city. Getting my keys out, I looked up and came to a sudden halt. The air caught in my throat with the realization that someone was behind the steering wheel of a black Escalade parked right beside the van. Oh, my god, Cyrus was waiting for me!

Backpedaling quickly, I tripped over my feet and fell down hard on my butt. Wincing in pain from my tailbone hitting the pavement, I quickly bolted back up and ran over to the elevator. My heart was racing inside of my chest as I jammed the elevator button again and again, thinking, damn, I just left it. It should still be here. Darting a look over my shoulder, I waited in panic, but something was off. No one was trying to chase after or attack me. The Escalades engine didnt rev alive or peel tire out of the parking space to try to run me down. It just remained parked right there next to the van. With my back to the closed elevator doors, I took a closer look at the Escalade. After the double take, I could tell just by the bulky silhouette behind the wheel that this wasnt Cyrus. My eyes widened with the realization just as the body fell over onto the steering wheel. The horn blared off the walls of the parking lot. AHHH! I screamed, and then fell back into the elevator when the doors opened. I scurried back against the wall as the doors closed in front of me. I could still hear the car horn through the metal doors. Everything felt like a blur of motion. I jumped up and pushed any button but this level. The elevator doors swung back open and revealed the lobby where people were situated around a few small tables eating their complimentary breakfast. They were just as calm as they could be but I, on the other hand, was frantic. I was just about to hit the button for the third floor when I remembered what Lizzie had said about Wayne and the SUVs surrounding the hotel so I dashed out of the elevator before the doors could close again. After racing past the reception desk to my left, I exited the automatic doors and was outside the hotels main entrance. Once there, I didnt see anyone I recognized. Maybe Lizzie was wrong? It wouldnt be the first time, I thought to myself while scanning the small road in front of the hotel. Out of nowhere I felt someone grab onto me from behind. Screaming, I tried to break free from the firm grasp. A few people in the lobby turned to look in my direction with alarm. Whats wrong? a gruff voice asked behind me. At first there was disbelief, and then I realized it wasnt Cyrus. The man released me and I flung around, looking up at Hampton. Oh, my god. I grabbed my chest. I thought you were someone else. Why were you running? he asked with his brow furrowed together. Is there something wrong? Theres I gasped for air, but I couldnt breathe from my throat tightening. It felt like I was having a fullblown panic attack. Theres a bodyin a black Escalade. I gulped. I thought that it was Cyrus, but then it fell over the horn. The outside of the hotel felt like it was suddenly spinning around before I turned and threw up on the side walk. Hampton signaled to someone in a darkened SUV which was halfway blocked from my view further down the street. We have a problem, he radioed in and relayed my message to security. Are you okay? he asked me. My friends are still in the hotel, I explained while staying bent over. What room number? Hampton asked as he relayed the message to the other security personnel around the hotel. Theyre on the third floor in room 319. One of the darkened vehicles drove off in the direction of the garage. Men dressed in black quickly unloaded from the other vehicles. Apparently, some additional bodyguards were hired since most of the men didnt look familiar. Stay here, Hampton instructed me. He rushed into the hotel with a few men tagging behind him. The one I did recognize stayed beside me. He was a large white man that I dubbed as Miller, Heath Miller, another player from the Steelers football team. Hunched over, I just stayed there with my eyes closed for a minute. Miller passed me a Kleenex and I wiped my mouth. Taking a deep breath, I finally got it together and stood back up again. Now that I had a moment to freak out, I pulled out my cell phone and texted Riley, Stay in your hotel room until security can reach you. What happened? Riley texted me back. Theres a dead body next to our van in the garage. Holy shit, are you okay? No, not really. I wasnt even going to attempt to lie before I snapped my phone shut. My ears fizzled and my vision blackened for a few seconds so I bent over again. Please dont faint, I pleaded with myself while looking down at the concrete sidewalk. Oh, god, I hoped whoever was left behind the wheel in the SUV wasnt someone from the band. Get it together, I mumbled to myself while trying to block out the horrific sound of the horn blowing. Forcing myself up, I jumped when I heard the blaring music from my cell phone. Miller eyed me warily like I was the nut, not the victim. Looking down at my cell phone, a number flashed that I didnt recognize. Hesitating for a

moment, I then decided to answer it. God, please dont let this be some kind of creepy message. Hello? Are you okay? A world of emotions lifted off my shoulders as I recognized Hawkins deep, velvety voice. Define okay. I sighed. Wait a minute, how did you get this number? I had Lizzies phone that night, remember? Oh. If I hadnt already shot all my adrenaline, I would have been elated that he got my number off Lizzies phone. Are you okay? he asked me again. Yeah, I am now. Then blushed because what I meant was, now that I was surrounded by so much surveillance. Quickly changing the subject, I asked, Do they know who it is yet? They just called me, he murmured. It was Jeff Monroe. Is he? Yes, hes dead, he said quietly and we were both silent for a moment. He parked him right beside the van, I told him when my voice unexpectedly broke up. Tears filled my eyes. Why was I crying?! To Hawkins of all people! Oh, Joie, Hawkins whispered. Im fine, I lied, feeling embarrassed as I wiped away a few tears. Im just glad that you had the hotel watched, I sniffed. Oh. I feel like the president. I half laughed. Umm, thats all Warren, he said sheepishly. You know how protective he is of Lizzie. Oh, right. I smiled while knowing full well that it wasnt. You should probably thank him, he offered, but his words were empty. He was probably debating whether or not I would go to such lengths and if he had to say something to Warren. Thats a good idea, Ill definitely do that. On second thought, why dont I just pass it on for you? he said somewhat tensely like he hadnt thought this all the way through. Sure, if you think thats best. I really do, he stressed and with frayed nerves I tried not to giggle. Still smiling, I glanced over my shoulder and saw Riley coming out with Lizzie and the other bodyguards. I have to go. Ill see you tonight, he sounded hopeful. Yeah, Ill be there, I said before we hung up. Riley came over to me with his arms stretched out and wrapped them around me. Oh, you poor thing, Riley said over my shoulder. Youre shaking. Can we leave yet? I mumbled into his shoulder while he held me in his protective embrace. Hampton had me file a report with the police before I was allowed to leave. Thankfully, Miller pulled the van up to the front of the hotel probably knowing I didnt want to have to retrieve it myself. Riley offered to drive, but I insisted that I was okay since I needed to do something that would keep my mind occupied from thinking about the bone chilling scene in the garage. Out of an unspoken fear, we were silent with Lizzie sitting as close to us as possible. Riley wasnt tapping away on his keyboard and Lizzie was pressing her shoulders against both of us like a puppy dog that needed comfort. It seemed that we were all quietly thinking about how I found the body of someone who was supposed to be our driver, but no one wanted to talk about it, not yet anyway. I wondered how much protection the van could offer with The Grimm Reaper out to terrorize us. Not that I could part with the last thing that connected me to my father. That didnt mean that Riley and Lizzie had to subject themselves to being stalked. Do you guys think that riding around in this van is your safest option? I asked them out of concern. Are you sure this is your safest option? Riley asked me, knowing that I would understand what he meant. Guess were all in this till the end, I mumbled as I shifted the gears. Pulling the van away from the sidewalk, I merged onto the nearby street. Looking through my rearview mirror, I saw that a line of dark SUVs were following behind us. It was funny since Hawkins was going to great lengths to say one thing to me when his actions were saying another thing entirely. Though Id be lying if I didnt say I was grateful that he wanted to protect me. You realize that for our best protection we should stay at more hotels? Riley mentioned to me.

You realize that for our best protection we should stay at more hotels? Riley mentioned to me. It has crossed my mind, I agreed. How are we going to afford everything? Well, Ill have to use the money thats been piling up in my checking account from Hawkins record company, I explained as the road dipped down past another slew of fast food restaurants. We can use the cash I get from writing the reviews, too, he offered, but I wouldnt allow it. He was going to put himself through college with loans and grants without the help of his unsupportive parents; a subject that we rarely ever talked about. No, were not using that money. I waved him off. We all know youre saving that for college. And youre not saving yours for that? No. It wasnt like I was against getting a higher education, but it would be a waste of everyones money and time right now since I didnt actually have a clue as to what I wanted to do. I have Warrens allowance for this week. Lizzie held up a thick roll of cash. Holy crap! He was giving her an allowance?! For doing what? On second thought, some things were just better left a mystery. Not much of a mystery, but still Turning up the air conditioner, Riley and I rolled up our windows when the van was finally blowing cool air instead of hot steam. Looking over at the signs for the highway, we crossed over a bridge and came to a stop at a red light. My eyes casually drifted down to the six lane highway beneath us. It was like the Indy 500 all over again as cars and semitrucks flew by below. When the light turned green we pulled onto the entrance ramp for the highway. Flooring the gas, I prayed for a break in the speedy traffic. There was just enough time to inch over into the first lane before a blue Mazda quickly closed in the space behind us. The driver jerked the car over into the next lane. Glancing through my rearview mirror, I saw the entourage of black Escalades. It was kind of embarrassing with all the official attention since we really didnt have a plan as to where we were going. The Underground Mall, anyone? I asked because I couldnt think of a better place to kill time. Sure, Lizzie murmured. Somewhere in all the confusion on the highway I took the wrong exit and ended up in what I knew was spaghetti junction. The darkened SUVs tailed the very end of my back bumper easily because we were moving too slowly. (Shocker.) Half an hour later, we finally found a parking garage near the signs that indicated that the mall was close by. I swear there was a little extra effort in the slamming of the doors to the Escalades surrounding us when we got out of the van. I shrugged at Riley; he seemed to have noticed as well. A few of the men stayed behind with the van. The others walked behind us as we followed the tourist attraction signs. The place didnt look like your typical mall. It looked like any other city street with sidewalks and signs, but where there should have been cars driving along it, people were walking. Stores were lined side by side and where there should have been the sky there was a concrete ceiling. The tunnel effect made the soft white lights from within the stores cast off a radiating glow onto the street. I couldnt tell where it started or ended. It was like someone dug a huge hole in the ground and dropped a Tanger Outlet inside. We wandered from shop to shop while nibbling on chocolate-covered strawberries that we bought from a fudge store. We entered into a store that made customized ball caps because Riley wanted to browse. After a couple of hours of window shopping, we left The Underground Mall and I swear the bodyguards all seemed collectively relieved. Once the motorcade was ready in the parking garage, we got back on the highway. Hampton offered to lead, but I declined, knowing that the van couldnt keep up. After I took the wrong exit and we ended up on spaghetti junction again, I stole a glance in the rearview mirror when I noticed that we had lost one of the Escalades and the remaining SUVs peeled tire around us as we finally approached the entrance to the venue. They were ushered in like the freaking pope while we sat in concert traffic. The Escalade we had lost earlier came up and tagged behind us. Oh, thank goodness, I said, exhaling once I realized it was Hampton. Still, the darkened Escalade was playing tricks on my mind. Though I knew that they were here to protect us, I wasnt exactly a fan of the vehicle anymore. Looking over at Riley as he wiped the sweat off of his brow, we were roasting in the van. The Grimm Brothers Band music boomed out of all the vehicles in the parking lot beside the highway. Hawkins voice was all around me, like I needed any help thinking about him. I flipped the radio on to drown out his voice and Lizzie went to argue when I simply said, Shut it. While everyone else was listening to Hawkins, we were listening to Chicago at the maximum volume. Riley grimaced from the deafening sound of the radio. He slightly slumped down in his seat while burying his face in his hand.

hand. What? I looked over at him. Chicago is cool. Sure they are, he mouthed. We pulled up to pay the general admission parking fare and then entered into a huge field. By the time we parked, we were at least a mile away from the venue. The Volkswagen Van stood out among the other packed vehicles around us, but what once was a positive, was a negative now that I knew that The Grimm Reaper seemed to also be looking for it. A black Escalade pulled up beside us before Hampton and another man got out. They came around the back of the vehicle to meet up with us. Hampton quickly explained that Hines Ward would be staying by the van for the remainder of the night, which instantly erased a tremendous amount of the fear in me, as I thought about Riley heading back to the van all alone last night. Hampton explained that he would follow behind us up to the amphitheater. When I hiked my backpack over my shoulder like I did for yesterdays concert, Hampton looked at me curiously. After I explained the money situation to him, he assured me that it would be safe in the back seat of the SUV so I handed it over to him. We were already feeling safer than yesterday now that Hampton was keeping an eye on us as we trekked across the field. A few times, Lizzie stumbled in her wedged shoes along the broken up gravel below, but I kept the whole mom spiel about her fashion choices to myself. We crossed over to a flat, paved, pathway that led up a rather large hill to the pavilion. Panting by the time we made it to the top, I took a look around and wondered where Hampton went? I didnt see him anywhere as we went through security at the gates. We walked past a couple of promotional tents while bypassing the green lawn to the left. Following the remaining gray strip of pavement we reached the lower pavilion. Hampton, out of nowhere, reappeared behind us. Man, he was stealth. I thought that he must have left us somewhere along the way, but obviously not. The staff looked at him and didnt even check to see if we had the right tickets. They just let us bypass them to our seats. The Larks had already exited the stage when we walked down to the orchestra pit without interruption, and seemingly without Hampton again, but I felt better just knowing that he was watching from some hidden place. I was grateful for all the protection, but knowing that Cyrus had somehow gotten around security this morning left me fearful in a way that I just couldnt shake. How safe were we really? I shuddered at the memory of finding Monroes body. My concentration was so rattled that I didnt realize right away that the band had taken the stage. However, I did notice that Hawkins seemed preoccupied as well. He looked over at a bodyguard just to the left of stage for some kind of cue. They exchanged a curt nod when the bodyguard redirected his attention to a tall, built man in civilian clothes just to the left of Riley and then to another guy to the right of Lizzie. Trying hard not to smile, I thought, who would have thought that Hawkins would go to all this trouble to protect me? Hawkins looked across the packed venue before his eyes fell on me. A small, sad smile played across his face before he started to sing for the crowd. As the show continued the spotlight found Lizzie again, but she was over the initial excitement it brought as she swayed sexily beside me. Roxanne you dont have to turn on the red light, I sang to myself. As the night continued, I was preoccupied with watching the fans. We were as safe as we could be, but I knew that I was the only one who could identify The Grimm Reaper so I watched the flow of stragglers more carefully. Fans edged down the aisles around the three seated sections in front of the stage as usual, but I noticed the crowd of eager fans was quickly ushered back by the venue crew tonight. The staff had been obviously warned about The Grimm Reaper, too. At the end of the show, Lizzie sauntered away and Riley gave me one last gentle pat to my back. Go make your living, he said jokingly. Where are you going tonight? I asked him. Ill find somewhere off-road to sleep, he explained. Dont worry about me. Just text me, if we need to meet up. Ill talk with Hawkins, I promised. Theres no reason why you cant come along, too. Just take care of yourself tonight, okay? he said tenderly. Okay. Walking down the aisle towards the backstage door, I found it strange that I could nod at Harrison, Woodley, and Hampton as I passed through the door. To my surprise, Hawkins was waiting there for me. He pulled me into him for an unexpected hug. After all that happened today, in the strong protective embrace of Hawkins, I started to tear up. Its okay, he murmured in my ear before he gently released me. Sorry. I was embarrassed by the sudden display of emotion and quickly wiped away the tears from my face. Its okay, he murmured as his expression softened from his initial tough exterior. Were going to keep it low

key tonight. He wrapped an arm around my shoulder and pulled me into him. Oh, good. Taking in the way I fit perfectly under his arm, his toned muscles flexed under the soft, thin material of his t-shirt, and I inhaled the faint scent of his cologne. Lizzie, who was waiting on Warren, looked like we were just doing this to rub it in her face. Get a room, she muttered underneath her breath. Only moments later, Warren arrived with Hampton behind him. Swanks tour bus? Warren checked with Hawkins as he came to wrap an arm around Lizzies waist. Yep, Hawkins answered. You okay? Warren asked Lizzie and she mumbled something I couldnt hear before she walked rigidly with his arm over her shoulder down the hallway. Gently, I pulled away from Hawkins. I didnt want him to feel that he needed to baby me, but he pulled me into him with a stiff tug, wrapping his arm around me even tighter than before. Cant you just let me? he whispered while glaring ahead. Knowing that he wasnt just doing this because he felt bad for me, I relaxed into his side. It was easy to see that the security staff was taking extra precautions to protect the band from The Grimm Reaper by the way Harrison was tagging closely behind us. Before we exited out to the parking lot, Harrison pressed his ear piece with two fingers and asked, Is everything secured at the gates? Harrison was listening to a conversation that we couldnt hear, before he nodded to Warren. He pushed through the doors to the buses outside in the parking lot. We followed behind him when I heard the loud sound of screaming fans from the distant edge of the gates. Hawkins held up a hand in their direction which caused the crowd to scream even more hysterically. Cameras flashed and I thought of my mom seeing those pictures splattered across the magazine stand at the nearest grocery store, so I buried my face into the side of Hawkins chest. What, afraid to be seen with me? He laughed softly. No, I murmured. Then what is it? Huh? He tilted his head to whisper into my ear while knowing full well what it was about, but clearly getting some satisfaction over tormenting me. Cant get enough of me, then? Something like that, I mumbled into his shirt and felt his shoulders shake with laughter again. Hawkins released his tight grip on me to let me head up before him onto the tour bus. Quickly, I climbed up the stairs when I noticed we werent alone. In the front of the tour bus was a group of girls. They were sitting on the couches and dancing along the aisle. A few of them turned, taking in my black inside out t-shirt and faded jeans before looking down at me smugly. It wasnt until Hawkins followed in with his arms wrapped around my waist that I took my turn to be the one smirking. Monaghan, the keyboardist, was sitting in the middle of a few admirers on the couch. Lizzie gently pushed Warren forward towards the direction of Blakely in the back where they were playing cards. Sorry, girls, Lizzie said to them. This ones taken. Wasnt that, that Lizzie girl? one of the girls asked amongst themselves. Whats she doing with Warren? Before I could hear any more a girl dressed in an off-the-shoulder black top, cropped shorts, and a cowboy hat on, like she and Lizzie had picked out their clothes from the same closet, bounced up in front of Hawkins. Can I have your autograph? Sure, Hawkins said politely. Its my forty-first concert! she exclaimed while handing him a pen, but nothing to sign on. Wow, he smiled, but it didnt reach his eyes. We certainly appreciate it. What do you want me to sign? Umm. She flashed a flirtatious smile. I kind of lost my ticket. Ah, huh, I thought while rolling my eyes. Could you just sign here? She scrawled an invisible line across her chest. Glancing back at Lizzie, who was sitting on Warrens lap in the back, I thought I could learn a thing or two from her. Hawkins looked over at me for some type of permission. Surprised, I shrugged. I dont care, if she wants to be that desperate thats her own choice. The girl snarled at me as Hawkins snickered and signed his name across her chest. Whos she? another girl whispered harshly from the couch. Hawkins handed the girl back her pen when another girl bounced up beside her, but he grabbed my hand and led me down the aisle away from the other fans. He glanced over his shoulder and smiled. That feels awkward every

time. Worst part of the job I bet. I smirked. He led me to the back of the tour bus. Unlike Hawkins bus that had a bedroom in the back; this one had a lounge room with a large circular table in the center surrounded by a circular suede booth. Swank, the saxophone player for the band, had a different girl on either side of him while Blakely dealt out a set of cards around the table. Hawkins took the nearest seat and wrapped a hand around my waist pulling me down onto his lap in one quick motion. Im going to teach you how to play first, he said smugly, mimicking Kosic that night in the hotel. Let me insult your intelligence. This is called poker, okay? He looked at me as I laughed. Come closer. He pulled me into him until we were pressed up against each other. I want to make sure that you can see the cards. Ah, huh, I murmured, liking the way his strong body cradled mine. Relaxing, I leaned my head back against his shoulder. He suddenly smiled and continued to talk to Blakely about the score of a baseball game. Warren dealt out the next round of cards before Hawkins pulled them up to my chest. Breast your cards, he said shamelessly as he braced the cards against my chest. Looking down at our cards, I recognized that we had a full house. I dont know about this, Hawkins said like we didnt have a good hand. Were going to have to fold. Stop it. I laughed. Enough lip from you, he said jokingly. Remember, Im teaching you how to play cards. Whatever you say, I hummed, taking in the inviting feel of Hawkins with his arms wrapped around me. It was truly the first time I had felt safe all day. He tossed the cards down against the table while everyone else continued to play. He turned his face into my hair. You smell good, he whispered, leaving me breathless as the soft touch of his lips grazed against my neck. Vaguely, I remembered watching Blakely win the game with two pairs, but it was hardly the full house we once had in our hands. What are the odds? Hawkins asked sarcastically. Warren downed a shot of some amber liquid across from me while I tried to avoid looking over at Lizzie who was still gawking at us. Drink, Hawkins said to me as he grabbed a bottle of bourbon and poured it into an empty shot glass in front of me. Shaking my head while laughing, I downed the shot. See, Im teaching you how to play cards. He laughed. Swank dealt the next set of cards around the table. Huh, four of a kind? Hawkins looked at our cards and then folded. Rubbish. Are you trying to get me drunk? I said in my most shocked voice. No, not at all, Hawkins toyed. Im a gentleman, remember? Ah, huh. Whys your t-shirt inside out? he whispered in my ear. It isnt because its another one of the bands t-shirts, is it? My face burned as we looked at each other for a moment. Noooo, I vehemently denied. Which one is it? He went to peek from behind, but I gently slapped his hand away. Laughter rose up in his chest with the realization. All I could do was bury my face in my hands. This was horrifying! Waitis thatis my He peeked around the front of my shirt. His megawatt grin was getting bigger with each passing second. Is that a picture of my face on your chest? No! I hissed, then looked around the table and lowered my voice. No, its not. Im going to have to disagree, he said, tapping the cards against the table. Is this some kind of fantasy? Because I might know the guy. He winked. Its not a fantasy, I insisted. Maybe I could put a good word in for you? He softly chuckled. Oh, my god! Did she ever tell you why she has those rules, Hawkins? Lizzie interrupted us, surprising both Hawkins and myself. No, its funny, Lizzie continued when no one took the bait. It really is. Hawkins sighed heavily behind me while he continued to ignore her. Blakely looked up from his cards, but I could tell that she was even trying his patience at this point. What is? Warren humored her. Lizzie, I warned.

Lizzie, I warned. You can even YouTube it. She laughed. Has she lost it! Would she really stoop this low? She was following this guy around like a sad, little puppy dog and he told her to get out. Lizzie snickered. She was in love with the guy, too. I mean how sad is that? Apparently, she would, I thought while my body and mind shut down and I went rigid in Hawkins arms. All you have to do is type in Josephine. Lizzie was in the middle of her rant. Alright, Hawkins cut her off. Were going to take this somewhere more private. He got up with me, but I still felt dazed and angry at being thrown under the bus by Lizzie. Everyone does dumb shit in high school, he muttered to Lizzie. Maybe when you graduate one day youll understand. Lets go, Joie. He took my hand and led me away from the table and quickly out of the bus. Hawkins had put Lizzie in her place and, although I appreciated it, I still couldnt believe her. He wrapped his arm around me once more while we ignored the loud cheering from the crowd. Leaning into him with my arm around his waist, he guided me to the backstage doorway. The last of the crew were loading up equipment from the stage into a few semi-trucks on the platforms to our right. Hawkins held the door open for me and we entered the backstage hallways that were less crowded than before. The last few remaining crew members were busy pushing cases of equipment down to the dock to load onto the trucks. Hawkins took my hand and led me to the stage. The house lights were still on from the concert earlier when Hawkins came to an abrupt stop and looked out at the audience. The only people who were still there were the venues crew picking up trash. Dont worry. He smiled at me. I have this dont look me in the eye policy. We both started to laugh at his joke when he turned and nodded behind us. Following his gaze, I saw the back of Harrison exiting the stage. Goose bumps formed while looking out at the vast stretch of pavilion seats in front of us. Hawkins led me across the stage. Each spot I passed had me replaying the concert and who stood where. Glancing back, I envisioned Blakely rocking out tonight, but it wasnt until Hawkins led me up to the front of the stage where he usually stood that I felt overwhelmed by the size of the arena. It was incomprehensible how I ended up here. Hawkins sat down at the edge of the stage and dangled his long legs over the side. Sitting down beside him, I marveled at the breath-taking sight. On some kind of cue, the venue crew slowly dispersed from the view in front of us and the house lights went down in the pavilion. The darkness that surrounded us made it feel like we were the only two people in the place. Bring a lot of girls here? I smiled while dangling my legs back and forth beside him. No, its something I like to do alone. He laughed. It helps me think. Think about what? When Im on the stage in front of people Im putting on a show and the music kind of transforms me, he explained. But when Im alone like this Im just another spectator, just another person in awe of the magnitude of it all. It helps remind me why Im still doing this, he trailed off. I feel small, I confessed. Yeah, I do, too. He smiled. Its humbling and comforting all at the same time, isnt it? Humbling, definitely, I stressed while smiling. We were silent for a moment as I gazed out at the distant stars along the horizon. Hawkins leaned with his arms back behind him. He looked so at ease on the stage. His blue eyes flashed over to mine, knowing full well that I was checking him out. Biting my lip, I quickly looked away. He softly chuckled to himself and I could feel my face flush all over again. So, umm, I mumbled. God! Think of something to say! Think! Do you ever think about the great legends that have played on this stage before you? I asked him while staring at the distant gray seats. Oh, well, yeah. He looked over at me, clearly caught off guard for a moment. Like Dave Matthews! Shut-up. No, I mean really, Dave Matthews has walked on this stage, he said with awe in a playful, mocking way. I suppressed a smile, nearly on the edge of laughter, while shaking my head at him. He cleared his throat and turned serious. Of course I do. We played at this small theater once in New York. You wouldnt know it by looking at it, but so many incredible musicians had played there before. I mean legends, he emphasized. And all I kept thinking in the back of my mind while singing on that stage is, Im standing right where John Lennon once stood,

thinking in the back of my mind while singing on that stage is, Im standing right where John Lennon once stood, Bob Dylan too. Talk about an out of body experience. His eyes widened. I still get chills from just thinking about it. He rubbed his arms and looked away from me. I felt small and insignificant, a shadow of a man. He laughed. That night, he sighed as he gazed ahead of him again. Thats for sure. We looked out at the distant sky. I know that its none of my business, he was the first to speak, but is it true what Lizzie said? Closing my eyes from the painful memory, I murmured, Yes. So these rules, he asked, are because of him? No, theyre because of what I did or allowed myself to do because I liked him, I confessed. Its really not that interesting of a storyseriously. The last thing I wanted to share with Hawkins was my embarrassing account of what happened with Jake. It didnt exactly shed a good light on me. Try me, he said earnestly. Its really not worth it, I said more insistently. No, bullshit. He smiled. Errr, I growled at him in frustration while he laughed. When my dad died this past year, I looked down at my lap, I got really depressed. I pressed my lips together with the memory. It was like I was just aimlessly drifting through the suffering, I confessed to him. But then Jake came along and he anchored me. He gave me a reason to get out of bed every day, I explained as I pulled my legs up against my chest and wrapped my arms around them. He was the only one who could distract me long enough to not feel the pain of my fathers death, I sighed heavily. In a way he healed me. But I was just stupid about it. At first he wouldnt call so I called him. He would talk to me for a minute and then hed say he had to go. I would walk up to him at school, but he wouldnt talk long. I didnt pick up on any of the clues. He was done with me and I didnt know. When he suddenly became distant all I could feel was the gut-wrenching pain of my fathers death again. I kind of lost it, I said no louder than a whisper as I stared dejectedly down at the ground. I showed up to a party of his that I wasnt invited to and not only did he kick me out in front of everyone, I rolled my eyes, he announced that he had been dating my best friend behind my back the entire time. Wow, Hawkins whispered, obviously taken back by what he was hearing. Yeah, it was actually a lot worse since everyone seemed to know but me. I didnt have many friends that I could trust after that, I drifted off. Its how Riley and I became so close. He was my support system and, believe it or not, Lizzie was like my bodyguard. As you can tell tonight, she isnt someone you want against you! Just type in my name on YouTube and you can see it for yourself. I forced a laugh. God, why was I admitting all of this to him? And the rules? he asked without a single inflection of condemnation in his tone. So I never allow myself to get that blinded by my stupidity again. I looked at him intently. I was a joke. No I let myself become a joke. In all honesty, I dont trust my decisions anymore, I confessed. And these rules, these rules keep me safe. Did you ever think that maybe he was doing you a favor? Honestly, I said brightly while remembering that night. No. You probably wouldnt be here with me now, would you? Hawkins glanced over at me and his expression suddenly softened. Looking at him, I was stunned. We had done the whole belittling antics so much, I was waiting for the punch line. Probably not, I admitted. Make of that what you will, he said lightly. Youre a smart girl. So opening up to someone who is constantly tweeting negative things about me, is me being smart? I flashed him a knowing smile while teasing him. I havent been hiding anything from you either, he reminded me in the same serious tone. Are we stupid, or what? I whispered. I mean arent we supposed to be publicly bashing each other? If you noticed, we havent been doing that too well, he said quietly while frowning. Just then I watched as the lights flickered up above us. Freaking economy, Hawkins grumbled. I cant even afford to pay them for five minutes of peace and quiet. Are they waiting on us? I asked in astonishment while looking from one side of the stage to the other. Hawkins laughed as he got up. Im only joking. Here. He reached out for my hand and helped me up. Thats just my cue to let me know that everyone is leaving, he told me as we crossed the stage. Thank you,

Thats just my cue to let me know that everyone is leaving, he told me as we crossed the stage. Thank you, Atlanta! You were great, he yelled over his shoulder at the empty pavilion. Though, I could have done without the prick blinding me with the laser pointer. I laughed as he led the way off-stage to where Harrison was standing. Hawkins nodded at the bodyguard before we passed him. Grabbing my cell phone out of my pocket, I said, I guess I need to figure out What parking lot youre going back to? He finished for me with a knowing smirk. Actually, I laughed, yes. Just because youre not a groupie he started to say. Listen, someone who was particularly close to Blakely is dead now. And I dont think that hes going to stop with just Jeff. His face fell, looking suddenly saddened. It was the first time Hawkins had dropped his usual stoic expression. This was not just a crew member, I realized in that moment, this was a friend. But this thing we do with the public, he rolled his eyes, now makes you as big of a target as myself. The idea of you somewhere unprotected and alone drives me crazy. He looked down at me tenderly. If you stay with me I promise to be on my best behavior, he whispered. I wont make any unexpected jabs at your writing abilities or anything, scouts honor, he added, trying to make light of the situation. But well kill each other, I whispered. Thats a fair assumption. He nodded. But Im willing to take the chance. What if he got sick of me? Yeah, sure, we flirted with each other now, but how would it be twenty-four seven? This is too much to ask, I decided. How about this, he wagered. Just stay with me tonight and well worry about tomorrow, tomorrow. I hesitated so he added, Its that simple. No commitments. He held his hands up. Ill just be in the way, I continued. Oh, now you care, he emphasized. When did all this start? He flashed me a devious smile. I knew that he took this as a yes because of the way he took my hand and led me down the hallway. Its only one night, I thought to myself. How much could I mess up in that short span of time? He looked over at me expectantly as we walked. Ah, I started to care I thought about it. Honestly, sometime after you tweeted those comments about Lizzie, I confessed as we exited the venue and approached his bus. So it worked? He arched his eyebrow. What, you were trying to make me jealous of Lizzie? His smile widened in an acknowledgement. Yeah, mission accomplished. I guess I didnt want you to I hesitated with the exact wording, to tap that. He threw his head back and busted out laughing. It seemed to come from somewhere deep down inside of him like nothing else could make him happier. I liked knowing I could make him laugh for once. I continued to watch him when he turned to say to me, That was good. The smile faded from his face as he asked, Whats wrong? Oh, nothing, I lied. Its the bus, isnt it? he asked more seriously. Your rules again? Oh, no. I tried to assure him, but before I knew it he had swept me up off my feet and into his arms. Here, he said. If I carry you into the bus myself then you dont have to worry about your decision. Put me down, I told him while wishing I weighed just a few pounds lighter. How else am I going to get you up here? he said, gingerly carrying me up the steps. You make a good point, I said, playing along. He carried me past the kitchen area and into his bedroom in the back. A flat screen T.V. was against the wall next to me and across from his bed. A closet was to the left with photos tacked on it. A bathroom was past the closets. My gaze drifted up to a skylight above his bed. A few stars twinkled down from the night sky. He laid me down on the soft, blue comforter of his king-sized bed. Immediately, I jumped up and stared at him wide eyes. Just because I agreed to the bus didnt mean that I was sleeping with him. I know, he held up a hand, I know. Im not A groupie, he finished my sentence while trying to keep a serious face. No, youre not. Youre my guest, so I thought you should have the bed, he said while gathering some extra sheets and a pillow from the nearby closet. Why are you being so nice to me? I blurted out. Me? he gasped while tilting around to point at himself. Whatever do you mean? Im always nice to you, he

said with a mockingly shocked expression. Umm, remember, no bullshit, I sang. Pausing for a moment, a troubled expression came across his face as he turned back around to grab another sheet from his closet. The mood had suddenly changed and I gave him a moment to collect his thoughts. Actually, he tilted his head in my direction, in all the confusion of this morning I was told that not only was Monroe killed, but, he turned away from me, that you were dead, too. Feeling my mouth drop, I stared up at him. And for a second, before they could clear it up, he confessed while fiddling with the silken edge of the blanket, I was devastated. We locked eyes with each other for the longest three seconds of my life. It took something like that to suddenly make everything so clear, he mumbled under his breath before he turned around and headed out of the room. Digesting the surprising news of why he wasnt grilling me with questions and mocking me with harsh laughter, I didnt notice him pause at the door. This morning had scared him, too, but in a way I had not expected. So, umm. He looked back at me somewhat awkwardly. I could tell by the way he was acting and from past experience that he wasnt used to confessing things like his feelings. Do you need anything? No, Im good. Well, Ill be just right outside. He gestured towards the hallway. Sogoodnight. Night, I murmured. Watching him walk out of the room, I slowly laid back on Hawkins bed while thinking about his confession. So he was worried for me? Kicking off my shoes, I decided to just sleep in my clothes on top of his comforter and turned on my side, tucking my hands under his pillow. There was a narrow stream of light coming in from the crack of the door. The faint pleasant scent of his cologne lingered in the room as Hawkins shuffled around outside. Although I should have been tired, especially after the kind of day I had, I had never felt more awake as I watched the lights go out in the next room. After another ten minutes, I could tell Hawkins wasnt asleep either. That or he tossed and turned a lot in his sleep. My mind kept playing different scenarios that all led to Hawkins joining me in bed. How crazy was that? Why was I fighting this? I was eighteen. Tossing on my back while staring up at the ceiling, I imagined that Hawkins was doing the same thing. Little pricks of gleaming stars shined through the skylight. A soft sigh came through the other side of the door where Hawkins lay. The man did just confess that an existence without me would be devastating. Yet I was still lying there deciding what I should do. Sitting up, I decided it was now or never. I slid out of the bed before I could even give it a second thought and crossed the room for the door. My hand literally shook as I pulled the door open. Suddenly, I was wondering, what if he didnt want to be with me? Horrified by that thought, I was frozen with fear. How come I didnt think of that before I got out of bed? Are you okay, Joie? Hawkins sat up. Speechless, I just stood there. What is it? Whats wrong? His voice filled with concern as he stood up. I want, I hesitated. Oh, my god, I am an idiot! I hate me, I hate me! You want what? he asked. To live a little, I confessed in one breath. His forehead knitted together before he muttered gruffly, Okay? My stomach dropped as my knees went all bendy and weak. You know, I prompted him, to live a little. When you say live a littledo you mean sex? I could hear the slight comical infliction in his tone. Yes, I whimpered. But youre not a groupie? The amusement in his tone was perfectly clear this time. You know what, never mind, I said, exasperated, and turned around to head back into his bedroom. He wrapped an arm around my waist and pulled me down against him. I dont want our first time to be because you wanted to live a little, he whispered while cradling me against his body. The whole devastating thing, I confessed, had me sold. I didnt say it to get laid. He soothingly brushed back my hair while his lips rested against the side of my shoulder. Are your hands shaking? He went to pick up my hand, but I playfully slapped him away. I think I surprised myself, I said in a small voice. Shocked, not surprised, he said. Because you looked shocked. He softly chuckled.

Shut up. I laughed with him. I was really worried there for a second. The humor in his voice was once again unmistakable. I thought maybe The Grimm Reaper was back there with you, too. Hysterical. I smiled. Little did I know those were your bedroom eyes. He tapped my nose. Laying on my back, I looked up at him while laughing. It was so infectious that Hawkins started to laugh, too. The laughter subsided while we continued to stare at each other. My hand instantly rose so I could let my fingertip trace over his soft, full lips. He watched me with those mesmerizing, tender eyes as I pulled my hand away. His eyes searched for mine when he leaned in to kiss me. Breaking away, I had to say it. I had to tell him. He looked down at me as his brow furrowed together in alarmed confusion. I would have been devastated, too, I murmured as his expression softened. I would have. He put a finger to my lips to silence me before he leaned in to kiss me again.

10. TOO MANY SECRETS

When I woke up, I heard Hawkins humming happily to himself from the kitchen area. I was grateful for the gray curtain divider along the side of the bunk bed that Hawkins must have pulled across to let me sleep. Wrapped around me was a cool, white sheet that smelled just like him. It was sweet and musky. Forcing myself to sit up, I pushed the sheet off me. After running my hands through my hair to straighten out a serious case of bed head, I ran my finger along my front teeth. Boy, I was thankful for the privacy. Joie, you up? Ah huh, yep. Falling back into the pillow with exasperation, I buried my hands over my face. Wow, just when I thought he couldnt see me looking any worse. Pulling back the thick curtain, I gave myself a moment for my eyes to adjust. Then I stood up and flattened out my jeans before walking down the aisle towards him. His back was to me as he sat at the kitchen booth while singing softly to himself. The light from the nearby window washed over him. Papers, napkins, and Burger King paper bags with dark scribbling along them covered every surface of the table in front of him. Balled up pieces of paper were tossed carelessly to the ground below. Goodmorning. I peeked over his shoulder. Morning. He smiled up at me. A sexy hint of a five oclock shadow showed along his face making his blue eyes shimmer and rosy lips flush in contrast. His dark, careless hair jetted back from his forehead. It was the sexy morning look that very few people could pull off. He looked ruggedrugged and hot. Theres some orange juice and food in the fridge. He thumbed over to it. You can just help yourself. Free food? I swear I thought I heard angels singing in the distance when I opened the door and looked down at the packed fridge. I was starving. There was every kind of breakfast food donuts, muffins, croissants, but I felt Hawkins watching me so I sadly grabbed up the large fruit tray. I put it on the only uncovered space near the fridge and leaned up against a nearby kitchen counter. Popping a small pineapple square into my mouth, I looked down at Hawkins. He had a sharpie and was writing a string of words on a napkin. Whats this? Couldnt sleep. He tossed down the sharpie and then strummed his black Gibson before smiling up at me. Okay, youre smiling, so thats a good thing? I asked, popping another pineapple square in my mouth. A very good thing, he assured me and began to sing, Josephine Suddenly my face burned. Judging by his big ole grin it was just the reaction he was hoping for. No, youre doing this all wrong, I said, trying to take the focus off of me. Why? He tilted his head to look up at me with a worried expression. This sitting thing while singing. I shook my head. Its all wrong, without the strut. Taking my turn to enjoy the way my words affected him. The slight flush of embarrassment across his face was barely visible, but still counted. What is this strut youre always talking about? He knitted his eyebrows together while taking a sip of his coffee. Here. He handed me his Gibson. Show me. He leaned back with his arms on either side of the booth and gave me his undivided attention. He arched an eyebrow while causally waiting for me to show him. This was my first bit of stage fright, which would have been bad enough if it wasnt for the fact that Hawkins also seemed to know it. Knew it and thoroughly enjoyed it.

Knew it and thoroughly enjoyed it. Dont get all shy on me now. He licked his lips before a devious smile crossed his face. Feel liberated. Doesnt this guitar cost over a thousand dollars? I heard a tremor in my voice. Yeah, sure, he called my bluff. Ive got tons of them. He smiled up at me. Dont worry about it, he said, letting me know that an excuse wasnt going to help me now. Fine. Grabbing the damn thing out of his hands and swinging it over my shoulder, I was in full strut mode as I walked up and down the aisle while Hawkins laughed. I am the shit. I nodded. Bow down. Meanwhile, I pretended to go to town on the guitar while Hawkins snickered. Dropping to my knees, I did the best guitar impression in my arsenal. Then I bit my lip for dramatic purposes while bobbing my head up and down. Thats how its done, son. I got up and swung the strap off my shoulder then passed the Gibson back to him. So you think that I should refrain from such dramatics? he mused. Hell no, I said. I look forward to that strut every night. Apparently, the comment caught him off guard as he sat there staring at me. The cold glare I knew all too well, but not this smoldering, suggestive look he was giving me now. His eyes flickered back to the table in front of him. You know, he said quietly while folding the corner of a napkin. Youre the first one to ever tell me that, he confessed. Youre the first to tell me a lot of things. Suddenly, I felt ashamed. I respect it, he quickly added while looking up at me intently. Theres no bullshit with you. Its probably half the reason I became attracted. Oh. I felt my heart flutter. And the other half? You really have to ask? he inquired earnestly with a slight comical inflection in his tone. I didnt have an answer for him so he continued, Oh, okay, wow, he exhaled loudly. I started liking you, his brow furrowed together, about twenty-seven days ago. And, he pointed, youre completely oblivious to all of it. His eyes lit up as we watched each other for a few silent seconds. Oh. I smiled. Im not even going to ask you what you felt. He smiled down at the table. Anger, outrage, he listed, disgust. No, I interrupted him. He raised his eyebrows in surprise. Not disgust, I corrected him to which he laughed. It was deep and hearty and slowly becoming my most favorite sound. Ill have to remember, that, he said with a hint of sarcasm. So what happens if I do start to like you? I proposed. Ill just have the no bullshit thing going for me? No, youll have me. He looked up at me intently. Now eat, I dont want you to starve. But instead of eating, I saw his BlackBerry on the table and grabbed it up on a whim. Whats your password for your twitter account? Why? Youll see. He narrowed his eyes at me suspiciously. Its not like you cant change the password after Im done. I rolled my eyes. What are you going to do? he asked hesitatingly. Have the last laugh with your record company. I waggled my eyebrows deviously. I may have changed it to, he cleared his throat, Jack & Coke. Nice. I smiled. What are you going to write? he asked curiously. Ohh, just what you should have written weeks ago, I said lightly. Lizzie, I typed, is beautiful, devastatingly beautiful. Beautiful? He snorted. It makes me sound like a chick. How about sexy? Or has a nice rack? The side comment earned him a dirty look. Im only kidding. He laughed. I just had to see your face. Who, I typed, also has a nice rack. I flashed him a smile. Nice, he added approvingly. So when do I get to write for your blog? What do you mean? My throat tightened. Whats your password? You know. He gestured.

Whats your password? You know. He gestured. Oh, I just thought I drifted off because I knew exactly what he meant. Just thought what? He flashed his sexy sneer. That you would tweet for me? Yes. What, are you scared that I might write something inappropriate or not be able to mimic your lovely writing style? His eyes lit up. Hey, you said no jabs at my writing, I reminded him. I just called it lovely, he mused. Now give me the password. No, its just, I hesitated. Just tell me, he insisted in such a way that I knew he wouldnt back down. Maybe I could type it in for you? Wheres the faith? he asked me. You can just change it later, he added mockingly. JoshuaThayer96, I exhaled while feeling my stomach sink. He just blinked at me for a couple seconds before he said, My first name? Yes. And you hated me at the time you choose it? He tilted his head to look up at me quizzically. I thought so, yes. I kept my eyes on the ground. Oh. So were good? I rolled my eyes. Yeah, I mean, I think I can remember that one. He tried to stifle a laugh, but it got the better of him and it came spurting out. Shut up! I laughed. It was the most inconspicuous one I could think of, I lied. I mean no one would have thought that was my password. No, they certainly would not. He nodded with a crooked little grin. So where are we? I asked, looking out a nearby window while thinking, so I could crawl away and die somewhere. We havent left Atlanta, yet, he explained. I figured you wouldnt accept a ride to Charleston. He mockingly rolled his eyes. Oh shit, Riley. I pulled out my cell phone. I was supposed to text him last night about where to meet up. Hawkins took a sip of his coffee as I texted, Im so sorry! Where are you? Target parking lot, Riley texted back. At the same time Hawkins asked, Whose parking lot is it this time? Target. I giggled. Wow, he said, widening his eyes. And for a second there I was worried about your safety. Ill be okay. I tried to ease his fears. How can you be so sure? A sudden troubled, disconcerting look crossed his face. You are the only one who can identify The Grimm Reaper in person. He stopped to look up at me intently. He has to be freaked out about that. You just cant take that kind of risk by riding around in that van unprotected. The weight of what Hawkins was saying hit me. He had a point. Yet another more powerful emotion consumed me. Fear of losing my fathers van. I cant just leave my van behind, I told him. Hawkins seemed to understand that my mind was made up and didnt push it. It doesnt mean that I cant have security stationed around the van at the venue like before, Hawkins muttered. In case he tries to jimmy it open when you guys are at the concert. Now that makes me feel better. I had to admit. I could also have someone tail you. Hawkins cool exterior cracked for a second. I mean not to stalk you, but just in case he follows you. No, I understand. I made light of the situation. You would do it for anyone if it meant catching this guy, right? Exactly. He pointed a finger at me. Its strategic. I nodded while smiling. Took the words right out of my mouth. He grinned. I mean not that last night wasnt superb. Superb? You know, hot, went wellsuperb. His face slightly flushed. Wow, superb. I smiled at him because I was not used to seeing Hawkins lose his cool. You know what? Ill be right back. He cleared his throat and got up. I need to go get my driver.

He passed me down the aisle for a much needed break while muttering to himself, Superb?! He exited the bus while I smiled from ear to ear. Glancing down at lyrics scattered across the table, I noticed that my name was written on one of the papers. I knew that I shouldnt have been looking over his personal scribbling, but seeing my name, I couldnt stop myself. Before I could read the lyrics, my phone went off in my pocket. Feeling guilty, I leaned back against the nearby counter again and pulled out my phone. So did you hook up with him? Riley texted me. No, we stayed up and talked. Ouch. No, you moron! I laughed while texting, It was very nice. I was back to glancing down at the lyrics from the counter, when Hawkins came back up the steps with his driver right behind him. The bus suddenly started to move and it threw off my equilibrium. I was thrown a little off balance when Hawkins gently grabbed my arm and pulled me into him to steady me. He leaned me up against the counter to anchor me to the spot as the bus continued to twist and turn down the road. We were pressed up against each other again like last night. His eyes were searching mine before he kissed me. The rocking of the bus had our bodies thoroughly teased by the tantalizing motion. It was not long before Hawkins was guiding me down the hallway to his room. He stripped off his t-shirt in between kissing me. My hands lingered over his broad shoulders then down the silky skin of his back. He broke away from the kiss and watched me with dazed eyes while I touched him. He was tugging at my shirt from below until it was up over my head. We were kissing passionately when the bus suddenly came to a stop. Hawkins ignored it as he gently thrust me down on to the bed with him when suddenly my phone went off again. Girls Just Want to Have Fun was blaring away in my pocket while I thought, damn it, girls do just want to have fun! So stop calling me! I planned to ignore it, but the moment was thoroughly thrown off by an ahem at the door. Hawkins rolled off of me in frustration while I quickly grabbed my shirt and threw it back on. It was thoroughly embarrassing, but Hawkins only laughed as we got ourselves composed. He got up and opened the door. What is so important? he asked the driver politely. Im sorry, I didnt know. The driver sounded truly embarrassed. Its okay, Hawkins assured him. Security has been trying to reach you. Thanks. Hawkins sighed before he shut the door again. What the hell, youd think my driver would be used to it by now, he said jokingly. And for a second, I liked thinking I was the only random girl hes caught you with. I smirked while getting up from the bed. Hey, lets not start assuming things again, he warned while pointing a finger at me. Hes just not used to seeing a girl the next day. What, Jack and Coke didnt make it to sunrise? Just missed it, he tisked. Mind you, it was three or four in the morning, but you have the general idea. Ah, huh. I smiled before he leaned in and gave me a loving kiss. Thats my favorite t-shirt by the way. He winked. Looking down, I gasped. In all the confusion, I had flung the once inside out t-shirt over my head without realizing that I put it on the right way this time. Hawkins face was across my chest. I went to hike the thing up over my head when Hawkins stopped me. No, leave it, I like it on you. He cupped my face with my hair intertwined around the tips of his fingers. He hovered over my lips before he kissed me so passionately, we stumbled back into the door. A laugh escaped from my lips making us both smile. Alright, Mrs. Senator Johnson. His soft lips pecked mine. Daddys got to make a living. We walked out of his bedroom hand in hand down the aisle. Glancing out the window, I saw Riley leaning up against the van. Stopping midstride, Hawkins gently bumped into me. Whats wrong? Just giving Riley some time to breathe again. I smirked as I looked out the tinted window. It wasnt everyday Hawkins tour bus pulled up next to our little beat up van. At least he acts like a real fan, Hawkins muttered. What do you mean? What do I mean? he asked dramatically. I have no idea what youre talking about, I lied before continuing to head down the aisle.

Yeah, okay. Hawkins laughed. Just humor him for me. Walking down the steps with Hawkins behind me, the sunlight from another warm summer day streamed down around us. Riley gave me a knowing smile, but it suddenly disappeared with the arrival of Hawkins by my side. I dont think that weve been properly introduced. Hawkins held out his hand for Riley. It took Riley a few seconds to adjust to the sudden shock he was obviously feeling as he slowly stretched out his hand in return. As Hawkins released Rileys hand he added, I heard that youre a fan of Harlows work? Riley was speechless, but finally nodded to show some sign of life. Hawkins seemed used to this kind of reaction, though usually from girls. Maybe I could introduce you to him? Hes a cool guy. Hell, hell probably even let you watch him work the lights one nightI mean if you want to? Hawkins added. Riley seemed unable to breathe. Riley. I prompted him to come back down to earth. Yeah, he exhaled. Yeah. Cool, Hawkins said then turned to look at me. Are you sure you dont want ride with me in the bus? Riley could come, too, he said, thickening the pot and Riley gasped beside me. Looking up at him, I gave him a knowingly devious glare. It was in that moment that I knew how truly stubborn we both were. He didnt have any intention of making my decision to stay with the van any easier. That much was clear when he brought Riley into the mix. Riley, who obviously loved the prospect of riding on the tour bus with Hawkins, went silent and still next to me. No, we dont want get in your way, I returned. Besides, the idea of Riley walking in on us unexpectedly was more than I cared to think about. Well be fine, I assured him. So Ill see you in Charleston? Yeah. He smiled mischievously at me. Ill be around. He waved at us before turning around to sing no louder than a whisper, Girls Just Want to Have Fun. Beaming, I slid into our vans drivers seat. Riley got in quickly after and shouted at me, Are you nuts! What? What? Hehe, he tried to finish, that he said. Ill need a complete sentence. I laughed while turning the key in the ignition. The van revved to life behind us. He offered us a ride in his bus! Riley exclaimed while glancing over at the sleek purple bus. And you said no! he shouted hoarsely. Is this because you want to go? I toyed with him while pretending to be serious. Im sure hell let you ride along. Why dont you just go up and ask him? Oh, because Im so good at talking around the guy. Riley held his arms out with exasperation and laughed. Have it your way, I said with a small smile across my face while looking over my shoulder and putting the van in reverse. He sunk down in his seat, crossed his legs, and bounced one up and down while staring over at the bus. Pretty sure this was the most sulking I had ever seen Riley do. Shifting the gears, I drove out of the Target parking lot and after stopping at another small road, I smiled, realizing that Hawkins tour bus was tagging behind us. As they came closer, I could see Hawkins leaning his arm along an upper banister while directing the driver. Is Lizzie coming with us today? I asked him as we came to a stop at the light at the top of the hill. I needed to know if I had to pick her up, at least, after I decided whether I was willing to pick her up. Yeah, she still refuses to give Wayne her social, he groaned. God, I sighed. What was she thinking? She was much more protected with Warren than with us. Security is tight after the death of Jeff Monroe, he mentioned. And now that the stakes are higher, I heard The Grimm Reaper is threatening to blow up one of the bands tour buses. I guess theyre taking extra precautions. The way Lizzie talks, I dont think that Wayne is going to be asking next time. Riley, how do you know all this? I asked him in astonishment as I stole a glance at the purple bus behind us through the rearview mirror. My boss is good friends with the PR person for the band. He shrugged. I guess theyve worked together for many years. We only heard about it because we need to be one step ahead of everyone else in case they cancel a tour date or something. Besides, my boss is one of those people. What do you mean, one of those people? I looked across the street at the nearest Texaco gas station but was relieved when I looked down at the gas gauge and saw that it was full. Riley probably filled it up this morning. You know, he likes to be in the know and on top of everything. Riley rolled his eyes, but didnt continue the conversation. I got a sense he wasnt particularly happy with his boss after all the editing to his reviews.

conversation. I got a sense he wasnt particularly happy with his boss after all the editing to his reviews. So where is Lizzie? I turned the steering wheel and took a right at the intersection when the light turned green. Up ahead were signs identifying the upcoming highway. The Grand Hyatt Hotel. Riley grabbed up his laptop. She said Peachtree Road. He quickly typed in the address on the MapQuest site. The Grand Hyatt Hotel, Riley directed. You want to merge onto I-75 North to I-85 North. Its right up here after this light. He pointed ahead. Behind me, I noticed Hawkins bus was merging into the passing lane. The large, slick bus pulled up right beside our beat up van. Hawkins looked hotter than I could possible burn into my memory while leaning ever so coolly with his arm over his head against the banister up above. He was wearing a white t-shirt and crisscrossing, thin, leather necklaces. His dark hair was pushed back off his face. I dont know why I didnt notice the clothes before? It might have been because I never seemed to be able to look away from his hypnotic stare. Those twinkling blue eyes which made him look especially hot now were brooding in a sexy way. He gave a nod that was accompanied with a sly smile before turning away when the light changed. Turning down the exit ramp, I headed in the opposite direction of his bus. God, I was such a freaking idiot in front of him, Riley said regretfully. No, no. Really, less is more, I assured him. Looking over my shoulder, I waited for the cars to fly by us so we could eventually merge onto the eight lane highway. Flooring the gas, I thought, someone will have to move over because I wasnt stopping. Thankfully, I managed to slip into a tight space behind red Acura. Riley braced the dashboard while I prayed that we didnt get hit. The driver in the white Land Rover behind us blew his horn for at least a good minute. Riley looked over at me with his eyes bugged out. What? I asked innocently. He just rolled his eyes and pulled his strong, tan arm away from the dashboard. The other arm was bracing the laptop on his legs. He ran a finger along the top of his white V-neck shirt, loosening it just a bit, and finally relaxed his shoulders. Do you think that hes serious about Rob Harlow? he asked with a new enthusiasm now that we were mostly in the clear. He said that he was a man of his word, I remembered him telling me. So probably. WOOHOO! Riley hooted with joy. Yes, less is more. I smirked over at him. Whatever, Ill just see you in Charleston, he said in a mockingly girly voice. What? I smiled. I am going to see him in Charleston. It isnt what you said, its how you said it, Riley emphasized. Anyway, there is one problem. I glanced over at him. About Rob. What? Biting my lip, I tried to think about how I could explain what Lizzie did to sabotage his and everyone elses happiness just because she was miserable. I met Rob Harlow the other night, I confessed. How could you not tell me! When? Where? Details, hello. Apparently, Rob is the only other person who has caught a glimpse of The Grimm Reaper, I explained. He was there the night I had to identify him. Why didnt you tell me? Riley asked, sounding a little hurt. It didnt exactly go well. You see I was in the middle of getting his autograph for you when, I glanced over at Riley, Lizzie said in a flippant way that you know, I drifted off as I stared ahead at the busy highway. Killing me, here, Riley urged. That we just love the gays. He gasped. We dont even know if he is gay! I know, I agreed. And he freaked out? Riley said expectantly. He didnt freak out, I clarified. But it wasnt pretty. He just quickly left the room. Forget about The Grimm Reaper, he roared. Im going to kill her! He looked like a very pissed off Calvin Klein model; full lips curled in spite, eyes narrowed and a tense jaw. And for a moment there, I said under my breath. I wasnt going to tell you. No, Im glad you did, he growled. God, hes going to hate me on principle. He seems like a very respectful person, I countered. Not mean at all.

He seems like a very respectful person, I countered. Not mean at all. Its not even like that with him. He crossed his arms over his cut chest. I was just excited about meeting my idol. I know. Taking the exit for Buckhead/ Cumming, I sighed to myself. What did she do to you? He glared over at me. Sensing some of the heat coming my way, I wanted to mention that I was just the messenger, but I really understood his anger. She announced to Hawkins, and the rest of the band for that matter, I rolled my eyes, about what Jake did to me and how you can even YouTube it. What?! Riley asked in outrage. I was startled by his intensity. Oh shit, was Lizzie going to get it. Not only was Riley pissed, he was the kind of friend who took on your anger, too, like Lizzie had betrayed him twice this morning. Who knows, Riley, I whispered, trying to calm him down. She was turning into this crazed diva with all this attention, but I decided to keep that to myself for now. It was amazing how my anger could lift when Riley was mad. Riley glared down at his computer, Ohholyshit! What? I looked over at him, but he was just staring down at the computer screen with his mouth dropped open. What? Youre freaking me out. MSN has a picture of you with Hawkins. Please tell me that youre joking! I said as I tightened my hands on the wheel, getting ready to pull over. Dont worry its blurred and from a distance. He waved it off. It was probably taken from someones cell phone. I just know that its you. Well, you could have started with that?! I exhaled with relief while releasing my tense grip from the steering wheel. A source told them that the mysterious brunette stayed close by Hawkins side all night. Theyre wondering who you are? Riley grimaced over at me. Great, I sighed. The source also claims that Lizzie was seen with Warren, but that she looked jealous of the mysterious girl in question, Riley said, then muttered, She should definitely have that look down by now. Anything else? I asked him while praying that it was over. He typed fluidly along the keyboard and clicked the mouse pad. Umm, Hawkins tweeted. He let me know while I smiled at the memory. Deciding to pay Riley back for almost giving me a heart attack, I acted coy. Did he say that I was intelligent, charming, and sweet? Hesaid that you are beautiful. Riley bit his fingernails nervously. Staring down at the laptop, then out at the road, he was clearly thinking about how to explain the next comment to me. Is that it? Pressing him, I fought back a laugh. Umm. Riley darted a sideways glance over at my chest. Riley, are you checking me out? I asked jokingly the way he always did to me. NO! Well, yes. Rileys face flushed a crimson red. He likes your rack. Im only toying with you, Riley. I laughed then explained that I had written the tweet. You bitch! He playfully and lightly shoved my shoulder while laughing. So what are you two doing? Messing with the public or something? His eyes were wide with excitement. Pretty much. I grinned over at him. Thats kind of, Riley whispered in awe, naughty. Biting my lip, I tried to stop myself from smiling because Riley was right. We were scheming against everyone and it did feel a little naughty. Our own little private joke, I mused. Yeah, well, lets see what he blogs. I snickered. Wow, Riley gushed. You just talked last night, right? Yes, our mouths were moving, I said jokingly. I mean talking. Joie! I cant help it! He makes me feel, I dont know, I sighed happily, light and carefree. I dont worry when Im around him and its nice. I exhaled with relief. Its so nice. Outside was a blur of cars and all I felt was truly happy for the first time in a long time. Oh, girl, Riley said. Youre in love. Goose bumps ran down my arms as I whispered, I know. I didnt think after Jake that it was even possible. Looking out at the passing skyscrapers, I thought about Hawkins. Remembering how good it felt to be in his

arms. The smell of his scent, his soft silky lips against my lips, his soft dark disheveled hair in between my fingers, but it was those intense blue eyes that I couldnt get out of my mind. When we pulled up to the hotel, my attention was instantly drawn to Lizzie. She was standing in front with her arms crossed, designer sunglasses secured in place, and had a cold, hard expression across her face. Whats wrong? I asked her, forgetting for the moment that I was pissed at her. She tossed her new luggage to the side of the cot and got in. Warren and I are fighting, she announced resentfully as she went to lie down on the cot in the back. He doesnt want me to be Hawkins muse. Just explain to him that you arent. I smirked and Riley laughed a little too darkly. Ha, ha. Lizzie half laughed. Why wont you give Wayne your social? I asked her, changing subjects as we merged back onto Peachtree Street. Hello? Weve been over this already, Lizzie said, clearly frustrated. Warren will understand, I said coaxingly, Especially after the other day. Its not Warren that Im worried about, she confessed under her breath while drumming her perfectly manicured fingernails along the metal floor next to the cot. Then who? Riley asked like he really didnt have a clue because there was no way Lizzie thought she still had a chance with Hawkins. Instead of answering though, Lizzie had suddenly become preoccupied with reading a magazine. My eyes bugged out at Riley with the realization. Lizzie, I said warily. Its not going to happen with Hawkins. I was starting to feel bad for her. Even if Hawkins didnt like me, which apparently he did, he had made it very clear that he didnt like Lizzie. Why not? she asked hotly as she slapped down the magazine. Have you even had a conversation with him? I asked her earnestly. Yes, she emphasized. Besides, Im his muse, remember? Yeah, to the public. I tried to break it to her gently. Im not even sure if hes your type. Besides, I thought back to last night, Im kind of hanging out with him, now. So? She laughed while throwing her platinum blond hair over her shoulder and puckering her lips together in a snotty expression. Im pretty sure hes interested in me, I said more surely. Yeah, she said doubtfully as her pink lips curled up into a perfect smirk. You and half a dozen other girls who have hung, she made quote marks with her fingers and continued, out with him on his tour bus before. This is different, I insisted. I knew that Hawkins liked me. He drove me nuts. I drove him nuts. It didnt hurt that he was hot, but it probably drove him even crazier to know that, at the end of the day, the way he looked wasnt enough to cut it in my book. Oh, please, she jeered. Youre not the first girl and you wont be the last. Whatever, I mumbled to myself, knowing that Lizzie was never going to understand. And since youre doing it all wrong Lizzie drifted off while picking up the magazine again. Oh no, she did not just go there, I thought while glaring at her through the rearview mirror. Riley went to argue, but I stopped him, No, please, Lizzie, enlighten me. What am I doing wrong? You cant see that its just a fling. Hes not going to sweep you off your feet and rescue you from your life back in Shadyside, she said bitterly while still pretending to be completely fascinated with the magazine. Unlike you, I dont, nor have I ever, looked for some guy to take care of me, I said, losing my calmness and sympathy. Maybe, but Im not disillusioned. You think you can just be yourself and hes going to fall in love with you. He can have anyone, she babbled on. Hell just get bored with the innocent act and then move on. Its just the nature of things. She finally finished her rant. Wow, I feel bad for Warren. I shot back. Sorry for Warren? Lizzie reiterated. Why do you feel sorry for Warren? Because if he had any sense, hed see that youre just using him, Riley interjected with more passion than necessary. Warren sees just fine, Lizzie assured us. Im telling you, these guys are famous millionaires. They never hear the word no and I know how to work them. Its why Warren will keep coming back to me for more and more. And its why Hawkins will eventually get bored with you and move on. She looked up at me with a smug expression. Yes, youve worked Hawkins so well, he cant even stand you.

Really, then why is it that my picture is up everywhere? Because I dont want the attention. Everyone wants the attention, and please, it was all over your face during the poker game last night. She waved her hand dismissively in my direction. What was? I was curious now. That youre in love with him. Dont listen to her, Riley said with an edge. Shes just trying to get inside your head because she knows what you said about Hawkins is true. What did I ever do to you? Lizzie aimed her first glare at Riley. Riley only laughed, apparently too upset to talk about it. Everyone was silently fuming when we merged back onto the highway. Thankfully, Lizzie crashed for the next couple hours so Riley and I could nibble on snacks and gossip. You didnt take any of that personally, did you? he asked me. Do you mean the part about her supposedly being my friend and she still tried to bash me? Because no, that part didnt hurt at all, I said sarcastically. She seems to have this made up fantasy of what she believes Hawkins is like. I thought about it. Im not even sure if she has had a conversation with him. And whats so wrong with Warren? Shes just moving from person to person because if she was being honest with herself, shed still be with Ryan. Riley had cooled down by now and if anything, sounded sad for a moment. Who knows? Glancing out my side window, I actually passed another car for the first time today. We had successfully put the crazy Atlanta driving behind us and I welcomed the two lane highway like a long lost friend. As the day continued, we popped Combos in our mouths while trying to get trucks to blow their horns at us. I dared Riley to moon one of passing cars and to my immense surprise he did. Though, the girls in the red Grand Cherokee didnt look like they minded and kept pace with us for the next two miles. Sorry girls, but youre shit out of luck. Riley crossed off New Hampshire and Colorado from our list of license plates we had yet to see from the fifty states. We bounced along to the music of Simon and Garfunkel on the radio station I could pick up at the time. Cecilia, Im down on my knees, I sang. Riley looked up from his laptop. Your blog is up. He smirked now that he was in on the secret. I was a little apprehensive about what Hawkins would write under the false impression of being me since he didnt think much of my writing abilities. Read it to me, I said, feeling a mix of butterflies, excitement, and nervousness. Well, America, I am finally admitting it, I was wrong, Riley said while I laughed. Little did I know that when I was in the elevator that night, Hawkins annoyance wasnt directed at me, but at his friend Warren. Warren, who in Hawkins opinion, was acting like the typical rock star by getting it on with my friend while having no concern for anyone else. In retrospect, it wasnt until my friend pointed me out to Hawkins that he noticed I was even there since he was trying very hard not to look around. He thought I was stunning, breath-taking really, with my dark silken hair, expressive dark brown eyes that seemed to look right through him, and full lips that were pressed together in a thin line. In fact, I gave him the impression that he wasnt good enough for me. It only infuriated him more to hear about my rules. Rules that clearly said what my eyes could not; you dont have a chance in the world so dont even try. Offended, he made a quick verbal jab at me, when I matched his wit and sarcasm as the elevator doors closed, it was more than he could handle. What I didnt see was him pacing back and forth in the hallway while he pushed the elevator button again and again so he could set me straight, but it was too late. Angered beyond belief, he headed back to his hotel room for a stiff drink while restless and enraged. Then adding salt to the wound, he goes online to find out I wasnt done insulting him days later. How awful that must have felt to him. Ah, I whispered then cleared my throat and changed the subject for a moment. Do I sound like that when I write? Ah, huh, he emphasized while reading the blog to himself again. Adding salt to the wound? I looked at him quizzically. He taunted the raging sea, Riley rattled off one of my quotes and then continued, Scorned my pride? Okay, okay. I rolled my eyes as he softly chuckled beside me. So he thought I was the arrogant one that night? I smirked while focusing on the road again. Thats so wild. I replayed the elevator ride in my mind. It was Lizzie I was I rolling my eyes at and I was miserable, but by the sound of it, so was he. Though, I wasnt miserable now. I smiled as we passed over the bay of Charleston, South Carolina. The smell of salt water hung thick in the air, and so did the humidity, as we drove with the windows down. It took six long hours until we finally reached our destination.

It took six long hours until we finally reached our destination. Im so exhausted, I groaned. Join the club, Riley confessed. Why? Was everything okay? I darted a glance over at him while my hair lightly whipped around my face from the wind. The whole being alone with this killer on the loose, he reminded me. I just put on a brave face for you guys. Im sorry. My shoulders caved with the realization that he was scared, too. No, I completely understand. He smiled. You were busy. He waggled his eyebrows with a pretzel tucked in between his lips. Ha, ha. I half laughed, But youre coming with me tonight when I visit Hawkins. What if he doesnt want me to? Dont worry, I think that youre somewhere in his master plans, I mumbled while thinking about his open invitation for Riley to ride along in the tour bus with us. We were just on the outskirts of town with plenty of time to kill. The drive was so draining that even Lizzie was still asleep behind us. Well, its unanimous. I exhaled. We need to find a place to crash for a couple hours. I veered off the highway just one exit before downtown Charleston. Continuing to drive along the road, I found a spot that was completely surrounded by trees. I eased the van down a small slope off to the side of the road. Once completely hidden by the small forest, I cut off the engine. Riley and I fought for the space next to Lizzie on the cot with the best out of three of rock, paper, scissors. To my dismay Riley won and hopped in the back to lay down. Leaning back in the drivers seat, I glanced out at the greenery of the forest before falling asleep. In my dreams, I was running from Cyrus through a crowd of people at a concert. I wanted to give up, but I had to get to Hawkins! He was going to kill him! Then my dream switched and I was beside the van. Riley was behind the wheel as I frantically jumped in and shut the door. An unsettling sound of metal against metal came from outside. Looking out the window, I saw nothing so I turned around to Riley, but it wasnt Riley anymore. I screamed at the sight of Cyrus! I went for the door when the silver lock slammed shut. Snapping my eyes open, I felt too paralyzed by fear to move. My heart was beating a mile a minute. It was just a dream, but the troubling feeling wouldnt leave me. Looking out at the surrounding forest, I was just about to close my eyes again when I heard the strange sound of metal scraping against metal again. Jerking my body still, I glanced in my side mirror, but saw nothing. Still terrified, I glanced up at the rearview mirror and watched the two of them snoring in the back. What the hell could have made that noise? There was a flash of movement in the rearview mirror when I was just about to sit up. My heart jolted alive, in the next second a tall figure appeared in the back window of the van. Oh, my god! The surrounding forest cast a sheen of blue and green off his white bald head. How did Cyrus find us?! The keys dangled from the ignition while I continued to stay still. I was doing my best to look asleep. Then suddenly he was gone and I heard the familiar, unsettling sound of metal scraping against metal on the opposite side of van. Pouncing up, I peeked in the passengers side mirror. Oh, holy shit! He was dragging the tip of a gun, no louder than a whisper, along the side of the van. Adrenaline took over as I turned the ignition and the van quickly roared to life. Through the corner of my eye, I saw his silhouette pop up in the passenger side window. AHHH! I screamed out. Slamming on the gas pedal, the van jerked ahead and then slowed due to the small slope. My heart pounded as Cyrus fumbled with the handle on the door that I knew Riley forgot to lock. Riley and Lizzie groaned from being tossed around in the back. What is it?! Riley shouted as the van slammed forward again in the game of catch and release. Cyrus opened the door, but it was wrenched from his hand and shut when I hit the gas again. Riley and Lizzie tried to stand. Stay down, he has a gun! I shouted at them when the van slid slightly sideways. The tires spun in the soft dirt below as Cyrus got a hand on the door again. Too many secrets, Joie, he grunted when the door flailed open. Now that the van was taking the hill from the side, I hit the gas and it rammed forward again, throwing him back, but the gun stayed steady in his hand. He fired in my direction as gunshots busted the window next to me. HAAAA! I screamed. He was going to kill us! Ohhhh! Lizzie shouted from the back. As the van moved over the hill, Cyrus ran along taking aim. Riley grabbed Lizzies luggage from the back, slid the side door open and chucked it hard at Cyrus. The blow hit him dead center knocking him back. The van was

the side door open and chucked it hard at Cyrus. The blow hit him dead center knocking him back. The van was finally freed from the deadly terrain of the forest as all four tires hit the pavement of the nearby road. I laid my foot on the gas pedal while leaving Cyrus behind just as the rear window shattered from a bullet and glass sprayed across Lizzie who screamed with her head ducked down. Approaching the highway, we veered down the entrance ramp heading off to Charleston and out of firing range. Is everyone okay?! I shouted as adrenaline continued to shoot through my body. My hands literally shook as I grabbed onto the steering wheel. Im fine, Riley said as he slid the side door shut before I merged onto the highway. Lizzie?! I perked up in my seat to look back at her through the rearview mirror. Why does this keep happening to us?! she squeaked. The color had completely drained from her face. I dont know. As pissed as I was with Lizzie before, I wish I could have stopped to hug her right then, but after what just happened, all I wanted to do was get out of there. I brushed the bits of glass off my lap in between looking up at the highway. Ten minutes later, we were just aimlessly driving around downtown Charleston. Finally, I decided to pull over and call Hawkins, not knowing of anyone else who would help us. He shot at you? I heard the astonishment in his voice. A few times, I explained. We had been completely surrounded by the woods. You couldnt see the van from the road. I had been careful. Something was off, really off. There was something else. I narrowed my eyes while searching the heavily parked street for any sign of Cyrus. He said to me, Too many secrets, Joie. Its like, I hesitated. It was like he was coming for me this time, not Lizzie. Its like he knows about the two of us or something. I cant think of another possibility of why he would suddenly be fascinated with me. Where are you? I looked up at the sign in the distance. On Church Street, I informed him. Were parked now, but we had been driving around. This town is so small that our bullet ridden van stands out. Its kind of freaking me out, I confessed. Come to the venue, he urged. Ill notify the staff to look out for your van. Thank you. I closed my eyes as relief washed over me. You dont have to thank me, Joie. I want to protect you. Okay. I bit my lip. So umm, he said awkwardly which was cute as hell. Hawkins didnt proclaim his feelings easily. Ill see you, soon. Yep. Snapping the phone shut, I looked over at Riley who was scanning the road behind us through his side mirror. He wants us to I already MapQuested it, he interjected while scanning the street ahead of us with his laptop perched up on his right leg again. Were not that far away, he said, to my relief.

11. ARRANGEMENTS
Fifteen minutes later, we pulled onto a street that led up to the stadium. The staff was on the lookout for us like Hawkins had said. The venue crew, which was dressed in bright yellow shirts, directed us down to the left of the stadium. A security person manually pulled back the metal fenced gate for us to pass into the bands parking lot that was enclosed with rings of barbed wire. I felt like we had just driven into a maximum security facility as they closed the gates behind us. If it wasnt for the expensive sleek tour buses all parked in a line near the edge of the fence, Id have thought I was visiting Hawkins in jail. Once we parked, we got out and assessed the damage to the van. A few bullet holes had riveted through the metal on the side. Thankfully, Lizzie didnt get shot while ducking in the back. Besides the two busted windows, the van was still in pretty good condition. Lizzie squealed and took off for Warren who was waiting with Hawkins near a doorway to the back of the stadium. She jumped up into Warrens arms and he hoisted her up as she wrapped her legs around his waist. It was so scary! Lizzie cooed in a baby voice while he brushed back her hair. Are you okay? Warren looked tenderly up at her. I am now, but I dont want to fight anymore, she purred. Dont worry about the fight. Im just glad that youre safe, Warren responded before he twirled her around and carried her back towards the door. Harrison opened the door for them when Lizzie gave me a knowing wink. She whispered in his ear while arching her eyebrow at me then looked away. In the next second, they both busted out laughing. Are you okay? Hawkins came to stand in front of me while blocking off my view of Lizzie. Regrouping, I momentarily wondered, was Lizzie calculating her every move? Ummoh yeah. I looked up at him. Im okay. Riley? Hawkins asked. We both turned towards Riley who was doing his best impersonation of an American Eagle manikin, muscular and cut, but completely still. Yeah. I smiled up at Hawkins. Hes okay. Hawkins scanned the parking lot warily, but his eyes softened when they met mine again. He then put a protective hand along the back of my shoulder while squeezing it. My muscles relaxed under his touch. We headed over to the back entrance of the stadium. Have you finally come to your senses? Hawkins asked me. What do you mean? What do I mean? he said parentally. Youre going to stop traveling around in that van, right? Its still in good condition. Joie, you cant be serious. He suddenly stopped and turned to me. Any hint of a smile was now gone. Is this because of those stupid rules? He looked down at me with fury in his expression while getting more pissed by the second. No, I shook my head, remembering my father. Youre not taking this seriously enough, he said with exasperation. Harrison cleared his throat which caused Hawkins to jerk his head up. They exchanged a look, before Hawkins said, Lets just get inside. He took my hand in his and led me through the back entrance with Riley close behind us. Hawkins led us down a hallway while he practically growled at me to come to my senses. The Grimm Reaper isnt just threatening to blow up a tour bus, he explained. He has threatened to abduct the real Lizzie next. We locked eyes with each other. And now that I know he is capable of murder He stopped walking and turned to face me. Please, he said earnestly while putting a hand on either of my shoulders. Stay with me. His eyes were soft and searching. This had to be completely unnerving for him to have us so unprotected. I thought back to the close call in the forest when I realized that I couldnt do this alone anymore. I looked up into his eyes that pleaded with me and I melted. Okay, I whispered. I will. Thank you, he sighed while wrapping an arm around my shoulder. We can figure out an arrangement for the van. As we walked, Hawkins looked over his shoulder at Riley and asked, You and Joie look out for each other?

As we walked, Hawkins looked over his shoulder at Riley and asked, You and Joie look out for each other? We do. Riley was quick to reply. Hawkins beamed over at him. Good, Ill need someone to watch over her when I cant be around. Any kind of jealousy he may have ever felt towards Riley seemed to disappear. In fact, I got a sense Hawkins liked Riley now. Rolling my eyes, humph, What, am I six years old? No, I just wanted to make sure that you arent ever alone. Its not safe for either of you. Not here? I asked in astonishment. Hawkins looked ahead at Harrison and lowered his voice, I just dont want you to be alone, okay? Do we have to fight over everything? He smiled down at me. No, not everything. I smiled back. A crew member was just about to pass us when Hawkins asked, Have you seen Rob anywhere? Riley had come to a sudden halt beside me. Hes out in the lawn, the guy informed him, working out the lights for tonight. Thanks, Hawkins called back before we started to walk again. Yep, I was right. Riley was his new friend. Riley messed with his hair out of a nervousness I could sense. He was chewing on his lip as we made our way out to the stage. The view of the lawn from the height of the stage was awe inspiring. This is definitely different in the daylight, I murmured to myself as the lights flashed above us in different arrangements of colors. To avoid the chaos on the stage, Hawkins led us to a narrow pathway containing a set of stairs that descended down to the lawn. Harrison now drifted close behind us. As we crossed the lawn, we came to a section in the middle of the field, which was blocked off from the rest of the stadium. A couple of guys were standing behind a long, flat board of switches while staring up at the stage. Riley looked like he had digested something unpleasant which meant he must have also seen Rob Harlow. Glancing over at Rob, I noticed his shaggy golden hair and charming face. He was dressed in a green t-shirt, khakis, and was probably wearing Birkenstocks. He reminded me of a preppy hippie who probably recycled and had a compost barrel somewhere outside his ecofriendly house. Maybe it was because he was more of an artist than a crew member. I dont know why, but he didnt quite fit in with the rest of the guys. He was actually cute instead of intimidating. Harlow continued to look up at the stage and then over his shoulder at the stadium seats with some type of device in his hand as we approached them. You would have had to be blind to miss the double take he gave Riley and me then quickly back to Riley. Gulping beside me, Rileys exterior once again didnt match what was going on inside. His jaw tensed as he crossed his arms and looked away from Harlow. No one would have guessed that Riley wanted to meet Harlow. I, on the other hand, was worried if Riley was even breathing beside me. Another crew member had to elbow Harlow in the side to get his attention again. Rob caught me watching him and quickly looked back up at the stage. Hawkins led us around the restricted lighting section to the side entrance. He walked into the busy space while Riley and I lingered behind. Riley didnt seem to know the affect he was having on Harlow, who tousled his hair around so much you would have thought he was in the middle of a shampoo commercial. The corner of my mouth raised in a grin. Work it, Riley, work it. The other two crew members smiled at Hawkins as we approached them. One by one they gave him a one arm guy hug, but Rob Harlow looked a little less star-struck and impressed when Hawkins came to stand beside him. I felt a twinge of guilt that I hadnt warned Hawkins before we walked over. Hey, I have a friend here who would like to meet you. Hawkins smiled back at Riley. Kind of busy here, Rob replied as politely as possible. Im sure that you can take a second to meet my friends. Its nice to meet you, Rob said shortly then gave one curt nod to Riley before quickly looking away. I was thinking if it wasnt too much trouble, Hawkins said to him. They could watch the show from back here tonight. It gets really busy back here, Rob said as he stared ahead. Hawkins turned to me. Umm, can you guys excuse us for a second? I want to talk to Rob alone for a minute. Sure. I turned around and rolled my eyes at Riley as we exited the restricted section. We didnt have to wander far before we heard the beginning of an argument between the two men. Or rather Hawkins, who was raising his voice at Harlow. I dont want her in the audience! What is your problem? You pay me to do the lights, I heard Harlows voice rise, not to baby sit. Youve had other people back here before, Hawkins fumed. That was before. Rob looked hesitantly over at Riley who was glaring ahead at the stage, probably envisioning Lizzies death.

They continued to hash it out, but it was too low to hear until Hawkins barked, Well, youre just going to have to get used to it since I plan on them watching the shows with you from here on in. Im sorry, he said when he came back out to us. I didnt expect that. He put his hands on his hips while shaking his head. I really dont want to be back there, now. Riley spoke up first; he aimed a sideways glance over at Harlow and I nodded along in agreement. Surely we can go somewhere else, I asked. No, its the safest place, Hawkins explained. Most nights you wont even be among the crowd. We had been to enough concerts now that we understood what he meant. The platforms just below the top of the pavilion were where the lighting crew usually gathered except for in stadiums. Rob is just in a bad mood. It will pass. I hope you dont mind staying with him and some of the other crew back here. He looked down at me hesitantly. The band was planning to start rehearsal soon. You guys need to focus or whatever. I nodded. We dont want to be in the way. Hampton crossed the lawn towards us. Oh, that would be for you. Hawkins smiled. Hell be tagging behind you guys tonight. If you insist. I smiled up at him. I do. he smiled back. Well, I have to go. He thumbed towards the stage while starting to walk away. Bye. He made it three steps, turned around and jogged back to give me a peck on my forehead. Bye, I cheesed. Riley and I were left standing there with Hampton. Smiling up at the bodyguard, I was surprised that we didnt get Heath Miller or someone further down the chain of command. By the big ole scowl on his face, he was wondering the same thing. His massive muscles were pulled tightly together across his chest. Man, these guys were intimidating. Well, okay. I turned my attention back to Riley. Through the corner of my eye, I saw Harlow steal another glance in Rileys direction before immersing himself with that thingy in his hand. Riley looked like he was about to be sick so I decided that we could at least hang out in the van, even if we couldnt drive in it any longer. Looping my arm through Rileys, I led him across the stadiums field before he actually did throw up. Why dont we go back to the van? I suggested. He hates me. Riley hung his head. He doesnt even know you, I was quick to answer. How can I sit back there when I know he doesnt want me there? he asked as we made our way up the small staircase to the side of the stage, trying to avoid any oncoming traffic. I think Id rather take my chances with The Grimm Reaper. It couldnt hurt any less. Riley, you dont mean that, I said seriously. No, I do, he murmured. The crew was working like they were swinging from trapezes above us. I heard Hampton huff behind us and I really couldnt blame him. Were just going back to the van, I called over my shoulder at him. He attempted to smile at me, but it came out more like a grimace. We exited the stage, and then headed down the hallway towards the parking lot. Crew members were rushing past us in both directions. It was no wonder that no one could identify The Grimm Reaper. If there was a Mecca for big, built, and gruff kind of guys then this would be it. Pushing past the doors, I grabbed a defeated Rileys hand and squeezed it as he stared dejectedly down at the ground. We headed over to the old beast that had recently weathered the insane havoc of gunshots with flying colors. Unlocking the door, I then tossed the keys over to Riley. Hampton continued to stand there. Surely, he didnt have to wait on us? Really, its okay, I told Hampton. Well be fine. Hampton wiped the sweat off his brow before looking down at his wrist watch. Im sorry, but I was instructed to stay close by. Yeah, well, what Hawkins doesnt know wont hurt him. I smiled. My orders come from Wayne. Wayne? I said with surprise. What, does he want my social, too? I laughed. Huh? Hampton asked me like I was speaking Japanese.

Never mind, I replied and got inside the van. Do you want us to open the side door so that you can sit down? He looked offended by just the suggestion alone. I guess thats a no, I said to myself as I closed the door. I looked over at Riley, You seem to be coming around again. Riley quickly opened the door and threw up outside the van. Ah, spoke too soon. I stared ahead and waited for him until he got it together. I think, Im just over heated, he gulped. Is that what were calling it now? I smirked. Overheated? Shut it. He fought back a smile. That was awful. That didnt seem to stop Harlow from checking you out though, did it? I grinned even wider. Girl, what were you smoking? Oh, yeah, he did, I assured him. I dont think you realize how you come across to people. I glanced out at the parked line of cars in front of us. You look all stoic and cool. Im going to start calling you Mr. Unapproachable. Its more like being paralyzed with fear, but wide awake, he explained. Sounds painful. I smiled. Oh, god, it is. He leaned back in his seat. It worked for Harlow, I sang. Oh, no please! I started to mimic him. Dont let this really hot guy stay back here with me all night. I wont be able to concentrate. Please, no! I wish, Riley groaned as he ran both his hands through his tousled, sandy brown hair to push it back off his face. Careful what you wish for, then. Riley took a glimpse of himself in the mirror on the back of the sun visor. He grimaced at what he saw, sighing in frustration before he flipped the visor back up. You get that youre hot, right? I asked him. I havent showered in days. He rubbed his hand along his five oclock shadow. And this is not hot. Really? Gay guys dont like sexy, scruffy faces? Because we girls definitely do! I tousled his hair. Let me get some of Lizzie hair gel in the back. Ten minutes later, I was running my fingers through his hair while we faced each other on the cot in the back. Leaning back, I admired my work. Look, its Twilight hair! I smiled as he moved Lizzies compact mirror around to admire my work. You look hot. Now, I just need to change into a clean shirt. He hiked the shirt up over his head revealing his pronounced, tan, muscular chest. Okay, if you want to stun him tonight, I widened my eyes, do that. He chuckled to himself while rummaging through his duffle bag for another white V-neck t-shirt. Hey, if it works, why change it? He doused himself with Axe body spray before pulling a clean shirt over his shoulders and down his tight abdomen. Does it feel weird that Im shamelessly checking you out? No, Im used to it by now. He grinned. Just then I heard a knock on the back of the van door. I turned around to see Kosic who looked like one of those cat clocks where their eyes darted back and forth. Umm, am I interrupting something? Sadly, no, I sighed. Rumor is that youre being held captive here. Kosic smirked as he held up a pizza box. Is that for us? My stomach grumbled at just the thought alone. No, its for your bodyguard here, he snorted before he came around to the side door of the van. Taking the pizza box, that smelled mouthwatering, I opened it and grabbed a slice before passing it over to Riley. Who told you that we were here? I asked while brushing a couple shattered pieces of glass off the ledge before carefully sitting along the ledge of the side door. Ah, he scanned the parking lot, who else would drive this piece of Careful, I interjected. Kosic was about to laugh when suddenly his face fell. He looked over my shoulder at a bullet hole in the side of the van. He shot at you? Glancing over my shoulder to look at the side of the van where a bullet had riveted through the metal. Yeah, a few times actually. Thats how the windows got busted. Kosic balled his fists so tightly together that his knuckles turned white. He went to speak, but stopped himself.

Kosic balled his fists so tightly together that his knuckles turned white. He went to speak, but stopped himself. His chest rose and fell with a fixed concentration. He looked like he wanted to punch something hard. Are you? Are you okay? He looked at me intently with his nose flaring. Now I am, I said to calm him down. I take it that everyone is talking about it? Yes, he muttered while still in fight mode. But no one mentioned the gun shots. Wonderful. Well, his tone lifted. I just wanted to check in on you before Hawkins sweeps you away from all us little people again. Hawkins? I pretended to be clueless. You were never very good at lying. Kosic winked at me. Scrunching my face up, I tried not to crack a smile. How did he hear about us? Later. He pushed off the side of the van and waved as he left. Once Kosic left, we overheard Hampton muttering outside, Im stationed out by their van. Shortly after, he came around to the side of the van. They need me up in security. I should be back before the show starts. Just stay here, he instructed before jogging off. What happened to not being able to leave our side? I asked Riley. Yeah, a lot of people arent doing what theyre supposed to, are they? What do you mean? I asked as we both grabbed up another slice. How did The Grimm Reaper get past security and the crew? Have you seen him? He looks just like all the rest of them. I dramatically widened my eyes as I discarded the tomatoes off the slice and nibbled on it. Yeah, to us, but when you work with the same people night after night, day after day? he questioned. Thats true, I agreed. No one is just walking into this place. Look at the situation like it is the seating arrangement, he explained. You cant even get up to the seats in the second pavilion without a ticket and we all know those are the shit seats. He held his shoulders out like, come on now. Its layer after layer of security just to get down to the orchestra pit where they watch everyone like a hawk. Hell, some nights they take signs away so it doesnt obscure their view of everyone in front of the stage. He chomped on the crust of his pizza. I once heard that at a Jonas Brothers concert they knew a woman twelve rows back was mentally ill. They warned them not to make eye contact with her. Wow! Waityou went to a Jonas Brothers concert? I smiled. Shut it. Riley suddenly became preoccupied with his slice of pizza. But, you get the idea. No one just shows up and pretends to be someone they arent. He sighed. Because thats how, in this case, a person got killed. And how is it that no one has a record of him with you and Lizzie backstage? You guys didnt know Cyrus wasnt Monroe, but he still had to be allowed back. Yeah. I narrowed my eyes as I finished my last bite and rubbed my hands together. That is weird. I remember overhearing Woodley wondering the same thing that night I tried to identify Cyrus. This means that he cant be doing this alone. He looked distractedly out at the greenery that faced away from the parking lot. Riley, no one from security or the crew is going to let one of their own get killed. You think? What about for five million dollars? His eyes suddenly peaked. My boss told me that everyone in the crew is being interrogated by the police. Security for the band is starting to wonder if The Grimm Reaper has a few people helping him from within. Wow, youve been busy, I noticed. Of course I have, Joie, if what Hawkins says is true then youre next. He looked at me intently. Plus, what do you think there is to do while Lizzie and you are off gallivanting with the band and Im stuck by myself in this hot, sticky van? Well, youre not staying by yourself from now on. Yeah, I am because voyeurism isnt my thing. He cleared his throat and smiled. Whatever. Rolling my eyes, I thought about Cyrus again. I cant believe that something as stupid as a little blogging put my life in jeopardy. Thats not what did it. Rileys eyebrows knitted together. Its because of your relationship with Hawkins. All we have done before today was fight on the internet, I said in my defense. You two have sexual chemistry on the internet. All youre missing is the makeup sex. People love it, he continued. They cant get enough of it. The only people who are clueless as to what brought the two of you together are Hawkins and you, apparently.

are Hawkins and you, apparently. Laughing, I bit my lip, I wasnt sure I agreed, but I liked that he thought that. You know, truthfully, I dont want to blog about Hawkins anymore. I know, he murmured. I wouldnt want to share the details of my love life either. But Lizzie is getting restless. He exhaled loudly. Im not sure how much more of this she can take. Shes never had to work this hard to get a guy before. He sighed. I just hope she doesnt do something stupid. More than she already has? Yeah. He threw his hands up in the air. Its Lizzie. Speaking of which, I said. Where is she? What time is it? Riley shrugged while looking down at his wrist watch. Oh, shit, we need to get seated. Well, Im not going to another concert like this. I pulled down my shirt with Hawkins face across it. Grabbing up my navy blue book bag, I proceeded to dump the contents out on the cot. I have nothing to wear thats clean, I mumbled when something was tossed off the cot and clinked off the metal of the van below. You could always wear one of my t-shirts, he offered. Or we could stop at the laundry mat. I pushed the clothes to the side. Even my clothes want me to wash them. Look, theyre throwing money at me. I wrapped my fingers around the coin and held it up. Both our eyes suddenly narrowed as we looked at the thick round metal piece about the size of a quarter, but without any inscription on it. Riley plucked it out of my hands, glaring down at it. Did this come from your bag? He suddenly sounded troubled. Yeah. Riley grabbed the bag and turned it inside out. He felt along the silken interior material, but didnt find any others. You think someone planted that thing in my bag? Someone had to of, Joie. His eyes flashed up to mine. This is a tracking device. I was speechless, but it all made perfect sense. So thats how Cyrus found us. Probably. He pressed his lips together grimly. But who put it in my book bag? Then Hampton popped into my mind remembering that I had given it to him to leave in the SUV. What about the van the night you thought Cyrus raided it, did you have your bag? Riley asked. I dont know? Joie, think, he pressed me. It would have been the night when we were on the roof with Hawkins. I tried to replay what I could remember of the day, but all the days were starting to blend together. I dont know. And the only other time you left it with someone else was that night Hampton offered to take it, right? Yes. If you didnt leave your bag in the van that night, that means that Hampton is invested in your whereabouts way more than he should be. Speaking of which, I pulled back the side curtain, where is he now? We both perked up in the back to scan the parking lot in front of the van, but we didnt see him anywhere. In fact, we didnt see anyone in the parking lot. The sun was already setting across the sky. A couple overhead lights flickered on and off. I dont know about you, but I dont want to try to find the lighting booth in the dark, I said hesitantly. Ive been shot at enough today, if thats what you mean, Riley said tensely. Ill get the back door. Riley peeked his head out of the busted back window and darted a sideway glance over at the buses. He suddenly crouched down at the spot. He threw a cautious look over his shoulder at me. What is it? I mouthed. I dont know, he muttered. Lets just get out of here. He quickly guided me out of the side of the van. Riley, are you sure? He hushed me as he pulled me across the parking lot. We walked past the buses when Riley suddenly stopped, spraying gravel below. The quick motion jerked my arm back when I had continued to walk because I was still holding Rileys hand. I went to say something a typical girl would say like ow when he held a finger up to his lips. He was staring at the buses to our left like a hawk. I thought I heard something. SHHAACK! We both quickly looked over at the metal fence behind the buses since it sounded like someone had bounced off the fence and ran. We bolted for the backstage entrance. When we reached the door, Riley pulled it back for me and I collided hard into Woodley. I bounced right back off his hard chest and Riley shot his arm out to

stop me from falling back. What are you doing? he asked us. Someone jumped the fence, Riley explained while I tried to catch my breath. Hampton never came back for us. Hampton? Our bodyguard, I explained. Its the name I call him to keep all you guys straight, I said with the wave of my hand. How long have you been unaccompanied out there? We shrugged. Forty-five minutes? Forty-five minutes!! Woodley bugged his eyes out. Woodley turned his back on us to radio. I dont F-ing care what excuse you were given, he roared. Stay here. Woodley pulled out his gun. Ill check the parking lot. Riley and I were standing there as I tried to catch my breath with my hands on my hips. I really need to cut back on the fast food. I literally only ran to the door, I panted while bending over again. Its pathetic. What is Woodley doing here all alone? Shouldnt he be watching the band? Oh, Riley not this again, I complained. Youre spooking me out. Why would Cyrus come for you twice in the same day? Riley muttered to himself. Joie, I dont like what this might mean. How can he get to you so easily? Riley, youre not helping my nerves! I snapped while continuing to breathe erratically. The door opened causing me to jump and brace my chest at the sight of the bodyguard. Woodley looked winded and a little sweaty. He fastened his gun back into his hip belt. What is it that you saw, exactly? he asked us. We didnt see anyone, Riley explained, we heard them. It probably was just the crew, he grumbled. Actually, we didnt see any crew out there, I added. Thats because the shows about to start. He dismissed the thought. Let me escort you out to the field. Thanks, Riley answered for both of us. He led the way out of a side door to the field which was already packed with people. There were beach balls flying around us. The good old days, I thought while tagging closely behind Woodley with Riley right behind me. Are we going to tell someone about the tracking device? I whispered only loud enough for him to hear. We dont know who did it or can trust, Riley said, resigned. I have a better idea though. Which is? Keeping an eye on the surrounding faces, we neared the lighting section with Woodleys tall, thick frame leading the way. We leave the tracking device somewhere we can watch and see who comes looking for it. Then well know who turned and can tell Hawkins. Hell believe you. Like where? The picnic tables by the vendors? Riley proposed as we continued to move through the crowd behind the bodyguard. No, too many people. Right, he breathed heavily, It would have to be a place that was clearly off limits or made him stand out. Woodley pulled back the makeshift gate to let Riley and me into the lighting crew area. I noticed that Harlow was nowhere to be found. He comes out just before the band. Riley seemed to read my thoughts. We were ushered over to a couple folded out chairs in the back of the small, rectangular space. The other two crew members were checking over the boards for tonight. I tried to think of a place that would make Cyrus stand out. Hell, he was creepy, he should stand out anywhere. Where would I freak out the most if I saw him? Manly man, I whispered. What? Oh, I know! The girls restroom, I gushed. Thats brilliant, Riley said in a hushed voice. Well have to wait until the show is well under way. Whoever it is, theyre more likely to take the bait when the restroom is less crowded. Theres only one problem though, I mentioned while keeping my voice down. What?

What if its Cyrus who comes looking for it? Then we snap a photo of him on my sidekick, Riley said triumphantly. And plaster the picture across the news. Now that is brilliant. I smiled over at him. Hampton was crossing the lawn and the hair on the back of my neck stood up. He probably wasnt particularly happy to see us again, at least not alive. Our eyes met for a second before I quickly looked away. Woodley ripped into Hampton until he was satisfied that the entire surrounding lighting crew, Riley and I understood how badly Hampton had messed up. Seconds later, Rob Harlow came in while looking absolutely livid. I only needed a second before I understood why as Lizzie slinked in right behind him. Next time find your own seat before the show! Harlow yelled in her direction, Im not your personal escort. Gosh, Lizzie groaned as she came to sit down next to us. You would think that he was someone important or something. And of course she said it loud enough for everyone to hear. Riley, you can do so much better than him, she added. Riley sunk down into his seat while burying his face to block Harlows view. The audience roared to life as the band took the stage. The screaming drowned out even Lizzies big mouth. Riley sat up again and crossed his arms while glaring out at the people to the side of us, but the damage was already done. Everyone had heard it. The nice thing about Harlow compared to Hawkins was that when he was pissed he didnt look at the person for the rest of the night. It could have also been because Harlows job required his fullest attention which was the excuse I was preparing to use on Riley. I wanted to wrap a consoling arm around my defeated friend, but I also wanted him to get laid in this century so I stopped myself. Halfway through the concert, Riley motioned for me to get up so that we could leave. I felt nauseous with anxiety. What if our great plan backfired somehow? Hampton began to tag behind us to Rileys dismay. Well be right back, Riley yelled over the music. Yeah, like Im going to walk away from you again. Hampton didnt budge. Why bother now? Riley glared at him and quickly led me away from the bodyguard. We zigzagged back and forth through the crowd in an attempt to lose Hampton until we reached the steps. We hopped up them in groups of two with the bodyguard not far behind us. Riley turned right when the stadium leveled out and passed by a couple of t-shirt vendors. Hampton probably should have led the way since it was harder for his wide frame to maneuver through the crowd, but since we wanted to drop him, this was perfect. It only took a quick moment for us to walk around the bend of the stadium seats to lose Hampton. Riley gently jerked me into the narrow space between two promotional tents. Ironically, one of the tents was for Nicholas Johnsons campaign. It instantly made me think of my mom. God, she would pull her hair out if she knew the kind of trouble I was in. Hampton came to a stop just across from the tents and we cowered further down. The bodyguard scanned the opposite side from where we were. If he continued his search he was eventually going to see us. Riley pulled me over behind the nearby table with a plastic drop cloth that touched to the ground. A girl with short, dark hair pulled halfway back with a sun visor was sitting in a fold out chair behind the front table. She looked over her shoulder at us with alarm when Riley flashed a sexy smile, as if he were straight, and playfully put a finger to his mouth. It was obvious that we were hiding from someone. The girl smiled at Riley and played along by turning back around to face the crowd again. How come I cant pull that type of shit off? I whispered hoarsely. I swear between Lizzie and you. I rolled my eyes. Riley stole a glimpse around the corner before he waved for me to follow. We tentatively inched along the narrow space in between the tents while looking down the crowded strip. There wasnt any sign of Hampton so we took off with the crowd again. Ahead of us, vendors lined the walls on either side down the length of the stadium. Bright fluorescent lights washed over the ground intermittently from one vendor to the next. The stadium loomed and curved above us in the night sky. Okay, so how does this work? What am I supposed to do? I asked as we approached the restrooms not far from the tents. You are going to quickly go in and pick a stall. Drop the tracking device on the ground. Not in the toilet since it might not work any longer if you do that, he explained while scanning the area for Hampton. And then rush back over to that Reverb tent, right there. What are you doing? Oh, he said lightly. Im going to flirt with the girl working the booth. Why does this sound like I got the bum end of the job? I grinned. Because you did. He patted my back with a smirk across his face.

Because you did. He patted my back with a smirk across his face. Right, well at least were in an agreement. I smiled and took a step in the direction of the girls restroom. Glancing over my shoulder, I realized that Riley was already backpedaling away from me. Lets just get this over with, I muttered to myself while putting my head down and quickly walking the rest of the way. There was a long hallway to the stalls that lightly stunk of sewage. Trying not to gag, I crossed the end of the tight hallway and walked into a space that opened up to a row of sinks lining the wall just to my left with mirrors above them. To the right were two corridors of toilets so I headed to the nearest corridor. Scraps of toilet paper and soiled marks littered the gray concrete floor. Walking down the line of muted brown stalls, I pushed back a random door and gagged at the sickening sight of left over waste in the toilet. Gross! Backing up, I headed down a bit further and pushed in a door on the opposite wall. The stall was as decent as a disgusting place had to offer. I pulled the small round coin-like tracker out of my jeans pocket. Not wanting to get any closer to the toilet than I needed to, I dropped it to the ground and kicked it back towards the wall. Exiting the stall, I decided to round the corner at the back of the restroom that connected to the other corridor of stalls since it was closer. Halfway down the row, I realized I was carrying a line of toilet paper behind me that was stuck to my flip flop. Nasty! Gross! Flicking it away with my foot, I thought, this better be worth it. All of a sudden I heard someone shuffle into the small hallway to the restroom. Looking up, I froze. I caught a glimpse of someone who quickly passed by through the reflection in the mirror. Not just someone, I stood in shock, but Cyrus. He walked down the corridor of stalls that I had just left. I wanted to bolt, but if I ran to the exit he would see me. The hallway was very long. Long enough, that if he was carrying a gun I wouldnt get out of here alive. Quickly, I backpedaled into the nearest stall and quietly shut the door. There was a banging of opening doors from the other side. My only chance was to clamber up onto the toilet, not caring what nasty stuff was below me now. Another door banged open coming from around the same place I had left the tracking device. Then I heard a faint grunt like Cyrus was bending down to pick it up. Biting my lip, I couldnt decide if I should bolt or not. Just when I was about to jump off the toilet and make a break for it, I heard him come around the corner. Nervously, I looked across at the thin metal stall door. Joie Cyrus sang. Dont you know that its not safe to leave your bodyguard? A scream climbed up my throat, but I knew no one would hear me, not in time anyway. Where the hell was Riley? Bam! Jumping, I was so startled when he slammed open another stall door. Just then I heard a group of girls enter the restroom. You all can refer to me now as Mrs. J.T. Hawkins, a girls voice said smugly. Girl, I dont know what youre talking about, another girl interrupted. Hes my man. Cyrus backed into a stall two toilets down from me. This was it; I wasnt going to get a better chance to leave. Reaching across, I unlocked my door, but couldnt step down with my flip flops on since they would make too much noise. Trying not to think about it, I took one flip flop off at a time and collected them in my hand. Wooho, okay. A third girl laughed. This Lizzie girl is just a rebound, she continued. I bet hell ditch her when all this press dwindles down. Stepping down with my flips in my hand as the girls continued to rattle a bunch of nonsense. When opening the door, it creaked so I waited, but nothing happened. Determined to get out of there, I hurried out of the stall when a hand jetted out and wrapped tightly around my mouth. I screamed, but it came out in a gargled mumble as Cyrus pulled me back into the stall. Did you hear that? one of the girls asked. Screaming again, Cyrus shook me like a rag doll. He tilted my head back just enough for me to understand that if I continued he would snap my neck. Fighting back tears, I went completely still. Its probably nothing. The other girl dismissed it. Oh well, lets go. I heard them continue to fight over the title of Mrs. Hawkins while probably not envisioning this along with it. When alone again, Cyrus grabbed up my hair into his fist and whacked the front of my head against the metal stall. For a couple of seconds all I saw were stars. If it wasnt for the fact that he still had my hair gnarled up into his fist I probably would have fallen down. Thats for the other night. He whacked my head again. That was just for the fun of it. The sharp, searing pain made me cry out. It felt like my head was going to explode. A metallic taste crept onto my tongue and I began to feel dazed. Blood trickled down from my eyebrow and my knees went all wobbly underneath me. Stand up, he roared, but my body slumped down. In the distance were loud tin-like voices coming out of a

Stand up, he roared, but my body slumped down. In the distance were loud tin-like voices coming out of a radio and Cyrus stiffened next to me. Im in the girls restroom, Hampton explained. He said that The Grimm Reaper followed in behind her. Cyrus lifted me up from under my shoulders and pressed me against the stall with his hand firmly over my mouth. His expression said he wanted to bolt, but we both knew that I was too weak to walk at the moment. I noticed that Cyrus looked terrified, truly terrified for the first time. The doors banged open in the next room. It was loud enough for Cyrus to whisper to me without being overheard. Heres how this is going to go, he growled in a low voice. You explain to him that I left. I roughed you up and then I left. And Im telling you it better be Oscarworthy. He paused when the doors stopped banging for a moment. Joie? Hampton called out. Bam! Another door banged open. Tell him I left, or else, he pulled his shirt up revealing a gun tucked into his jeans, you both die. Go! He pulled back the door and pushed me forward. Stumbling away from the stall, I understood that my best chance of making it out of here alive was to move away from where Cyrus was hiding. I believed him when he said he would kill the both of us. His eyes were wild and crazy with fear. Running for the sinks, I stumbled and slowed. Whack! Grimacing, I belly flopped on the floor making the sharp pain explode into my head again. Joie? Hampton ran down the aisle with his gun out and the radio in the other hand. I need back up! he shouted. Are you okay? Hampton bent down on his knee over top of me. He ran off. Im fine! I winced while trying to form words when I felt so dazed. I needed to get us out of there now. Here, lets get you out of here. Hampton helped pick me up. Hobbling out beside Hampton, I thanked the Lord that he let me live to see another day. Hampton radioed, The suspect is on foot. Secure the area. When we exited, Riley darted across the pavement in our direction. Joie, Im so sorry, but I couldnt get to you. He glared over at Hampton. Someone dragged me back to the lighting section. Riley looked suspiciously at the bodyguard. It only took another ten minutes for him to believe my story. If you just would have stayed where you were supposed to, Hampton shot back. Yeah, but we didnt. I told you that so you should have believed us! Cyrus. I tugged Hamptons arm. Cyrus is back in the restroom. What do you mean? The fierce expression fell from his face. He only let me go if I could convince you to leave. Hampton quickly radioed to the rest of security and turned to run back into the restroom, not drawing his gun until he got to the door. Riley took one look at me and said, We need to get back to the lighting section. Ill feel better when were far away from the bathroom, can you walk? Staring at him, my head had a heavy feel to it like I was woken up in the middle of the night after taking too much Benadryl. Yeah, I think so, its just my head that feels funny, I explained. We need to go now, he urged. Riley quickly held me up as we made our way back through the crowd and down the steps to the packed lawn. The encore just ended as we approached the makeshift lighting section. The stadium lights suddenly blinded me causing a sharp pain when they turned on around us. Harrison was waiting for us by the gate. After assessing the blow to my head, he radioed the paramedics. There isnt any need to do that, I insisted. In fact, I was feeling better by the minute, but Harrison only gave me a gruff grunt. Soon after, a lady with long, chestnut brown hair, pulled back in a ponytail, came to tend to me. She flashed a small light in my eyes and had me follow her finger to check my vision. The cut over my eyebrow was superficial and I didnt even need stitches. She warned that I might have a slight concussion, but otherwise seemed fine. She did caution me that if I became sick or the pain increased that I should call 911. That scared me, but I felt better once she put a Hello Kitty Band-Aid over my right eyebrow and passed me a red Gatorade to sip on. Harrisons radio cracked and then a voice came on stating Hampton found the restroom empty. Probably around the same time things got heated between Riley and the bodyguard, I assumed. After the paramedics left, Harrison personally escorted us to the side of the stage. We climbed up the small stairs, past the stage and sound equipment. We followed Harrison to the back of the stage where a door opened up to the back hallways. Swear to me that we will never do anything this stupid again, I said to Riley. No more vigilante type shit.

Swear to me that we will never do anything this stupid again, I said to Riley. No more vigilante type shit. Promise, he agreed. We knew we were heading in the right direction when we heard Lizzie shouting around the corner. We had a deal, Lizzie shouted. Im supposed to be your muse. Hawkins looked over in my direction, clearly bewildered to be cornered by Lizzie. His astonishment turned to rage. What were you thinking?! His eyes grew as he pushed off the wall. It sounded good in theory? I grimaced. Very funny, he said flatly. And you, he turned to Riley, you were supposed to be watching her! Riley looked truly ashamed beside me. Someone had to do something, he muttered. Thats not your call to make, Hawkins snapped. Hey, hey, if youre going to blame someone, blame me. It was my idea. Well, half of it, I thought to myself. What were you thinking? he asked tenderly while he gently shook me. Ow, I winced and touched my head. Slight concussion here. Sorry. His eyes quickly softened. Are you okay? He lifted his hand to cup the side of my face as he rubbed his thumb gently back and forth across my cheek. Im okay, I whispered looking up into his loving eyes. Im so sorry, he repeated and wrapped his arms around my shoulders, checking to make sure he hadnt touched any sore parts. I was so scared. He kissed my head. You have no idea, he murmured into my hair. Were not done talking, Lizzie demanded. I want an answer. Hawkins released his embrace, but continued to ignore Lizzie as he tilted his head down to assess my bandage. Touching it gently, he asked, Does it hurt a lot? No, I should be fine. He sighed while resting his hands on either side of my shoulders. Please dont do anything that stupid again, he pleaded. Hello? Lizzie persisted. Lizzie, it is over, I said gently. A man is dead because of all this press and this psycho killer isnt messing around. He almost killed me tonight. Besides, I dont plan on blogging about Hawkins any longer. I looked up into his eyes. Yeah, well, what about you? Lizzie turned and asked Hawkins. Im not going to comment about Joie anymore, either, he confessed. This isnt about you getting a scratch on your forehead, Lizzie said hotly. Dont pretend that you just saw the light when this is really about being ashamed to tell your mom where youre really at. There is only one person Im embarrassed of. I cut my eyes at her. And its amazing what other people would do for the attention, Hawkins retaliated. Are you going to just let him talk to me like that? she asked Warren hotly. You want me to get upset that Hawkins likes Joie and not you? Warren asked skeptically. I sensed trouble. Maybe the honeymoon was finally over. Wow. Lizzie looked totally astonished by his reaction. Turning back to Hawkins, she quipped. Good luck with your career because everyone knows that you guys are washed up. Lizzie! I let out a low hiss. What, they are! Everyone knows it. Why dont you go follow someone else around then? Hawkins said as he led me away from Lizzie and down the hallway. We pushed through the doors to the outside. The lack of people scared me into remembering the close call with Cyrus as I scanned the outside cautiously. Hawkins seemed to sense my immediate reaction and started rubbing the side of my arm. You have nothing to worry about now, he consoled me when Harrison stepped out quietly behind us. Shes right about one thing though, Hawkins mumbled. I am washed up. He narrowed his eyes. No, shes not, I insisted. No, its okay, he said quietly. But what she doesnt know, among a vast number of things, he emphasized. Is that I found my voice again. Do you mean what you were doing on the bus the other day? I remembered the many sheets of lyrics. Yeah, it was like the floodgates opened again. He smiled down at me. And its funny how a little thing, about five foot five high, he held his hand over my head, and about a hundred and two pounds, he widened his arms just at my shoulders, could inspire it all. Smiling, I stayed quiet because I wasnt about to dispute my real weight when Hawkins pulled back the bus

doors. Ladies first, he offered while waving towards the steps of the bus. Hesitating for like a nanosecond, I couldnt help myself. Its okay, he said soothingly. Just breathe. Am I that obvious? Every time, he smiled, but youre also ridiculously adorable. Yeah, right. I rolled my eyes. He smoothed out my hair while he murmured, Big ole scary tour bus. His eyes lit up as they rested on mine. Laughing, I let him take my hand and lead me up the stairs. You have nothing to be afraid of, he assured me. Now, that youre with me. And dont worry, he smiled back at me, I know that Im not getting laid tonight. Hey! I gently slapped his arm. What I meant was, he said while pretending to recoil from the light blow. There are two bunk beds made up for you and Riley. He led me down the aisle past the kitchen area to the bunk beds that were covered in white sheets and plush white comforters. Hawkins turned to look over my shoulder for Riley, who should have been there by now. You think hell come up eventually? Hawkins face pinched as he looked hesitantly over his shoulder, probably remembering how he bit Rileys head off. Eventually. I smirked. Is he afraid that hell be walking in on something? Hawkins smiled down at me. Probably. I nodded. Right, because I mean, Im a catch. He looked down at me intently in the small space of the aisle. You are. Looking up at him, I noticed the faint light from outside made his eyes look a shade darker and even more intense. Youre talented. I am. Hawkins leaned in closer to me with his hand bracing the top bunk on either side of my shoulders. Warmth washed over me from the closeness of his body. Youre successful, I added breathlessly. That too. Hawkins tilted his head as his lips grazed the side of my neck. Youre hot and I dont mean just a little bit, I gulped. If you insist, he whispered sliding the tip of his nose up my neck making me feel disoriented. Im trying to be good. Whats the problem? He tilted his head so that his lips were inches from mine. You like girls who say no, I blurted out. What? He pulled back to look down at me questioningly. I thought back to my conversation with him about why he liked me and how half the attraction was the chase. Never mind, I said while blushing. He started to laugh like he couldnt help himself. I wanted to crawl under the lower bunk bed and hide. Umm, he tried wiping the grin off his face. Im sorry, Im not laughing at you. Ah, huh, the corner of my lip turned up into a grin. That just shocked me. I was prepared for youve been hurt. His eyes shined with laughter. That too, I agreed. Which, he pointed at me, Im working on it. What? Before I could continue, the bright lights flickered on up above. Blinking, I tried to adjust to the blinding light. The bus driver, an older gentleman with cropped gray hair and a mustache, climbed up the steps with Riley firmly in his grasp. Hawkins, I found this kid outside your bus. Do you want me to alert security? Riley looked as pale as a ghost. Riley! Hawkins roared like they were long lost friends and motioned for him. Get up here. Jim, this is Riley, Hawkins said as he walked down the aisle. Hell be accompanying us for the remainder of the tour. Ah, sorry. Jim looked slightly embarrassed and released his grasp on Riley. Hawkins waved for Riley to walk up the steps and he came forward. Hawkins patted his back and they headed back to me in the aisle. Riley seemed just as surprised by Hawkins reaction as the bus driver. Im sorry about earlier, Hawkins apologized. I should know by now that when Joie sets her mind to do

something, she doesnt let anyone get in her way. Hello, standing right here. I squinted my face, but then hurried to smooth it out due to the sharp pain. Both guys chuckled. Hawkins gave Riley a small tour of the bus; he showed him the bunk where he would be sleeping, all the food in the refrigerator, and his collection of video games. Riley perked up when he heard he would have full access to Hawkins Play Station 3 and Xbox games. It must be a guy thing. In no time, Hawkins had Riley playing football for Georgia State. Shortly after, Hawkins was back with his laptop, but I didnt know what he was planning to do with it. He laid it on the table across from me while waiting for it to boot up as he got a beer from the fridge. Riley? Riley nodded and Hawkins tossed him a drink. Riley looked like Christmas had come in June this year. Hawkins twisted off the cap to his bottle before he sat down again. What if I wanted one? I asked mockingly. Youre right, Im sorry, he said seriously then grinned. I should have asked you if you wanted a glass of milk. You wanted to show me something? I rolled my eyes and he laughed. Tapping away at the keyboard, he waited then turned the computer around to face me. Instantly, I recognized the site and my stomach dropped. This site had captured a careless mistake of a naive girl in love with the wrong guy; a mistake that had broken my heart. Looking up at Hawkins, Im sure my face was a mixture of grief and confusion. Why would he want to show me something on YouTube? I dont understand? Type in your name. He gestured by twirling his finger. But? Just type in your name, he repeated encouragingly. Fine. Typing in my name, a sickening feeling began to build in my stomach. I couldnt believe he wanted to watch this, and if so, why did I have to be here? Clicking the search icon, I leaned back in my seat with my arms crossed, waiting for it to upload. Staring at the keys, I couldnt bring myself to look at Hawkins. After a minute I forced myself to look back at the site, but I didnt see a link to the video. Refocusing my attention, I looked down at all of the Josephine video links, but there wasnt any listing for Josephine Hall. The god awful video was gone. Looking back up at Hawkins, my confusion turned into appreciation and then into tears. He stared at me and then quickly put down his drink. They told me it would be gone by now. He flipped the computer around and searched the screen, but he didnt seem to understand. Placing my head in my hands, I allowed myself a much needed cry. Im sorry, I told him in between gasps. This is an awful way to say thank you. He slid around the half circular table and wrapped an arm around me so I could bury my head into his chest. But thats why I love you, he whispered. You dont do anything like how youre supposed to. His comment made me laugh. Wait a minutewhat did you just say? That I like you a lot. He twirled his drink around on the table while he looked suddenly uncomfortable. Yeah, I did. Ditto, I said. Ditto?! He enunciated. Yeah, same here. I smiled. Is that in the rules, too? No L word? He looked down at me knowingly. Oh yeah. I nodded. Are you really surprised? Nono, Im not. He smiled before he took another sip of his drink. Finally, a rule I understand. He slapped down his bottle and slid out of the booth. In seconds he bent down and swept me off my feet. Riley, I hope you dont mind, but I have to keep my eye on her, he called over his shoulder. Thats probably a good idea, Riley chimed in. Thanks for the faith, guys. I sulked as he carried me past the bunk beds. Im not going to do anything crazy. Thats what you said last time. He smiled down at me. Who knows, you might get up in the middle of the night and try to hunt this psycho down again, he added as we crossed the threshold of his bedroom. Ha, ha. I rolled my eyes as he laid me down on his soft, blue comforter. Forget about my excellent security staff of ex-FBI and CIA agents. Hawkins shut the door and then came to lay down beside me on the bed. Nomy girlfriend is going to take The Grimm Reaper on all by herself. Why dont we just leave that to Harrison, isnt that what you call him? He stopped to check with me.

Why dont we just leave that to Harrison, isnt that what you call him? He stopped to check with me. Yes. My face twitched uncomfortably, it was embarrassing when someone else caught on to my naming system. Youre going to have to explain that to me one day, by the way. He smirked then continued, Why dont we let Harrison do his job? Okay? And you worry about things like taking care of me. He tapped my nose. Thats what I was doing, I insisted in a hushed voice while looking up at him. He ran a gentle finger along the small Hello Kitty Band-Aid. Sorry, he whispered, but I just dont think being a bodyguard is the right career path for you. Damn, I sighed. Now, what am I going to do with my life? You could become my personal body warmer, he offered. What does that entail? He rolled me over on top of him as he lay back in the bed. Our bodies melted into each other. With my head laying on his chest, I listened to his heart beat as he brushed back my hair soothingly. I like this job, I murmured. I thought you might, he whispered. Its a lot less stressful. How much does it pay? I traced my fingers along his forearm up to his biceps. Its based on performance, he said throatily. Am I performing well? Innocently, I asked with my head still pressed up against him and my fingers traced lightly along the contours of his chest. Very. My fingers intertwined with the thin leather necklaces that lay across his chest. He started to hum a melody no louder than a whisper. I feel the trembling shake in your hand when youre touching me Isnt it funny how its the only thing gonna set you free? You stand there with the upturn of your chin When youre fighting a battle you arent ever gonna win But dont it feel good, Josephine? Dont it feel good? When you dont win, you dont win But dont it feel good Josephine? But dont it? Those rules you got Arent gonna to get you nowhere dont you understand? But you stand there with the upturn of your chin When youre fighting a battle you arent ever gonna win But dont it feel good? But dont it feel good Josephine? When you dont win, never going to win But dont it feel good Josephine? But dont it feel good? He continued to hum the rest of the melody of the song until all I could hear was his heart beat again. That was amazing. I lifted my head to meet his eyes. Its a work in progress, he sighed happily underneath me. Sing it again. Again, huh? He arched an eyebrow while twirling a strand of my hair in between his fingers. At least twenty more times or until I fall asleep. I laid my head back down along his warm chest and listened to the laughter rise within him. Werent you supposed to be working here? He raised his head to smirk down at me. Id have thought that youd be used to being wrong by now, I said. Smiling, I could feel the laughter shake him again. With my head nuzzled against his soft shirt, I reached out to wrap two of my fingers into his and closed my eyes.

my eyes.

12. HAVE TO CHOOSE

The next morning, I woke up alone in Hawkins bed. Wrapped in his soft blankets, I yawned and outstretched my arms. After rubbing my blurry eyes, I looked over at the photos displayed on his closet door. One of them captured Hawkins sexy sneer. I didnt like knowing that someone else had evoked the same look I loved as my own. Rolling over in bed, I leaned over to pull the curtain back so I could peek out the window, wondering where we were at? There was laughter drifting through the opened door. Now that I focused on it, I could barely hear the murmuring of a conversation that was taking place at the front of the bus. Staying in bed, I tried to convince myself that I should get up when I felt a tickle in the back of my throat. A coughing fit suddenly overtook me. Damn, allergies. Joie, are you up? Hawkins called out to me from the front of the bus. Yeah, I called back. Come up here, Hawkins said, I have someone I want you to meet. Great, I thought as I tried to smooth out my hair and then cupped my hand over my mouth to check my breath. God, these were not the best conditions for meeting someone. Looking down at my sweats and hoodie, I shrugged, after all this is what Ive been wearing all summer. Walking down the aisle towards the front, I noticed Riley was still passed out on one of the bunk beds. The kitchen was littered with an array of empty coke bottles and crinkled up wrappers from McDonalds. A tray of fresh lattes from Starbucks was on the counter. Hawkins beamed up at me from one of the leather couches as I came to the front of the bus. He patted the open spot next to him. Across from Hawkins was a guy who looked just as bewildered as I felt. The freshly shaven man wore a pressed, button down shirt and had short, gelled hair. It was obvious that he wasnt the crew or one of us groupies. He didnt look like he had weathered the elements of being on the road like we had. He reminded me of Jack from Will and Grace with the same snobby air about him. I noticed that once again, Hawkins was the only one who could pull off looking hot at this hour in the morning. My eyes gazed over his disheveled hair, unshaven face, and the cup of coffee from Starbucks in his hand. Oh, I had missed the sweats. He winked. Blushing a crimson red, I sat down beside him. He leaned back and placed his arm on the back of the couch. It wasnt until I sat down that I realized our guest had a small tape recorder in his hand. Lord have mercy. Umm. The man looked down at his notes that were laying beside him. Where was I? Hawkins looked lovingly over at me while he twirled a strand of my hair. Narrowing my eyes, as if to ask him what he was doing? He just smiled at me even more like he was enjoying a private joke. You were saying? Hawkins prompted the gentleman. Yeah, so are you still involved. He looked over at me. If ever, he said hesitatingly. Involved with Lizzie McIntyre? Glaring over at Hawkins, I knowingly rolled my eyes. His laugh seemed to echo off the bus walls long after he was done. Oh, Im sorry, I didnt introduce you two, Hawkins said like he had forgotten his manners though I knew this was for show. Joie, this is Marc Reeves from Rolling Stone Magazine. My mouth dropped open wide from shock while wanting to say something, but I just sat there. Hawkins chuckling caused me to snap out of it and clamp my mouth shut. Joie, whats wrong? He continued to torment me. This is so unlike her, he turned and said to Marc. Most of the time, I cant get her to stop talking. Hawkins laughed again. Marc laughed, too, but it was forced. Ha, ha, ha. I glared over at him. Why dont we talk about Senator Johnson? Hawkins smiled over at me. Joie?

Why dont we talk about Senator Johnson? Hawkins smiled over at me. Joie? So is it true or not? Marc cut to the chase. Hawkins shamelessly looked me up and down. You know that I dont talk about my personal business. But youre willing to tweet about it? Hawkins eyes snapped to Marc who was quick to say, Its just an observation. She and I wont be doing that anymore, he said to Marc while returning his loving stare to me. Marc continued to watch us, seemingly confused for a second before he asked, So youre not going to respond to her latest insults? We both slowly turned our heads while looking thoroughly confused. What are you talking about? Hawkins asked, knowing I didnt post anything. That she wants to hump like rabbits, Marc quoted from his notes. What?! I squealed. Yeah, and I quote, Even if you are the equivalent of an overpaid Mick Jagger who prances around the stage when he doesnt realize that his better days are over. She wrote equivalent? I asked Marc. She misspelled it, but were pretty sure thats what she meant. He nodded. Wow, shes an opinionated one, isnt she? Hawkins muttered under his breath. Oh, theres more, Marc droned on. But I thought we didnt talk about your personal business? So, Jack from Will and Grace. Im sure we can make an exception this once. Hawkins wasnt laughing anymore. That you get your kicks from homely brunette girls now, Marc looked up at me, who pretend to be worldly and deep. Did she spell brunette correctly? I asked him for clarification. No, he mouthed. No, of course she didnt. Rolling my eyes, I was going to kill Lizzie! She also says that you are not man enough to tweet a response. Are we good? Hawkins growled. So, good. Marc quickly got up with his things. Wow, awkward. I caught him mouthing before he left the bus. Getting up, I walked down the aisle where Riley was asleep on the bunk bed. He was lying on his stomach with his head buried in the side of the pillow. Riley. I nudged him in the side. Riley! What? he groaned still half asleep. Where is your computer? What? he moaned. Riley! I nudged him again. What! he snapped and lifted his head. Whereisyourcomputer? I asked. Did you bring it up with your things from last night? No, he grumbled from his comatose state. Its in the van, he croaked before dropping his face in the pillow again. Im going to kill her! Slapping the top bunk bed, I tried taking out some of my frustration. By the way, how much did he drink last night? I asked Hawkins while finally noticing how hard it was to wake him. Oh, a few beers. Hawkins grimaced. There is small dent in the supply I keep in the fridge. I heard the underlining comical infliction in his tone when I turned to glare at him. I mean, he cleared his throat and glared down at the back of him. Bad, Riley, bad. Where are we? I looked out at the neighboring tour buses. Jacksonville, Florida. Where is my van? Outside, I had one of my guys drive it down. Quickly, I turned and stormed down the aisle. Where are you going? Hawkins called after me as I climbed down the steps out of the bus. It didnt take long before I saw Lizzie. She was leaning against my dads van across the parking lot. Oh, no, Hawkins shouted behind me. Joie! Lizzie licked her lips while smirking in my direction. Rileys laptop was secured in her arms across her chest. Someone wake up on the wrong side of the bed? Lizzie taunted. Give it to me! I yelled while approaching her.

Oh, oh, you want it now? What changed your mind? She smiled, gripping the computer closer to her chest. Giveittome! Coming up to her, I tried to pry the thing out of her skinny little arms, but she had a death grip on it. Lizzie! I fought her for it. No! Lizzie turned away from me into the side of the van. You crazy bitch! I grimaced while reaching from behind her as we fought for the laptop. Oh, Im crazy? Youre the one whos delusional! Lizzie took off running from the van down the line of parked cars. Catching up to her easily, I asked, Winded, Lizzie? Maybe you should stop shoving all those cigarettes down your throat. She ran around another car as I came up on the other side. We darted back and forth, realizing we had most of the crews undivided attention in the parking lot. You know what they say about smoking, it will prematurely age you. Youre going to look forty when everyone else is twenty-one! How does it feel? You act like youre almost forty-two, Lizzie snapped back. So I dont smoke! So I didnt strip for the entire world to see! So I didnt have sex with half of these men! I held my arms out at the surrounding crew who howled in laughter at the verbal blow. So I dont steal cars! Lizzie threw the computer to the ground and came around the front of the car. What are you going to do, hit me? I laughed as she rushed toward me. And wouldnt you know it, she did! My hand rushed to my cheek in shock. The words were out of my mouth before I could stop myself. Is this how it felt to date Rocco? Now that I knew she really would hit me, the second blow wasnt hard to see coming. I grabbed her hair and pulled her down to the ground. Hawkins was behind me in seconds. He pulled me away from her. Enough! he said as I fought him. Enough! Warren ran to Lizzies side and helped her up from the ground. Lizzies eyes were full of rage when she finally stood up. She looked like some kind of wild animal with dirt smeared across the side of her face. And Im homely? I said through clenched teeth. I wish that you could see yourself right now. Just then I heard the familiar click of a shutter going off a mile a minute from somewhere behind us. We turned around and saw Marc Reeves from Rolling Stone Magazine with his photographer. Hawkins released his grip on me and walked over to whip the camera out of his hand. He then proceeded to take the memory card out as well before he handed the thing back to him. I think you gentlemen have what you need, Hawkins said calmly. Wayne, escort them out. Even he doesnt want to be seen with you! Lizzie struck the last blow. With my hands on my hips, I looked down at the ground and fought back the unexpected prickles of tears. You know I thought this trip was about figuring out what I wanted to do with my life, I whispered. I realize that you think my rules or standards are ridiculous, but Id rather have them than be out of control. I really hope, I said to her earnestly. That someday you find yourself because Im telling you, Lizzie, you are lost. And there isnt any amount of money or fame that is going to fix that. Just keep the computer, I added. Youre running the show now. When I turned around, Hawkins was standing there. He wrapped a comforting arm around me while leading me back to his tour bus. I couldnt stop myself from crying though I tried very, very hard. Its okay. Hawkins tried to console me after a safe distance away. You should see some of the winners Swank and I get into sometimes. Its just the stress of constantly being on the road and around each other. And Im in what band? I laughed. Youre in my band. My Joie band. Nice. I smiled as we headed up the steps to his bus again. Wow, you didnt even flinch. He looked back down at the stairs. Im proud of you. Sitting down on the couch, I remembered the interview with the guy from Rolling Stone Magazine. What were you trying to do in that interview anyway? I asked him. Wind him up or me? Who me? he asked innocently. Yes, you, I smiled. You were cute by the way, he added. So you were winding us both up? I asked him. No. He began to twirl another strand of my hair. Did you ever think that maybe I want the world to know that

youre mine? But you took the memory card, I reminded him. Im not the one with something to hide. He looked at me intently. You are. My mother? I certainly didnt do it for Lizzie. He laughed and wrapped his arm around me while we smiled at each other. Josephine Hall, he said my name with his sexy, come-hither eyes. Would you do me the honor of going on a date with me? A date? Yes, I just thought that, his lip twitched up, we would make it official now that were not blogging about each other any longer. What do you have planned? Is that a yes? Yes. I smiled. Good. He pushed off the seat and got up. I have a surprise for you. A surprise? Come on. He held his hand out for me. Taking my hand, he helped me up. What kind of surprise? I followed in behind him to his room, but everything looked as I had left it. Have a seat, I have to get something. He reached into his closet while I took a seat on the edge of his bed. We hire a national cleaning company that comes in at various cities to pick up and restock our buses. Anyway, he reached up and unhooked a dozen or so hangers filled with clothes with clear plastic draped over them. they had your clothes cleaned for you. I was speechless while taking the plastic-covered garments in my hands. Oh, thank you. I hugged them. Thank you. I know its just clean clothes, but it felt like how on Survivor when they stand on pegs for twenty hours just to get an Oreo cookie. I hadnt had clean clothes since this trip started. Theres one rule. Yes? I looked up from the clothes in my lap. You wear our t-shirts to sleep in. He smiled down at me. I promise. Smiling up at him, I smooched my lips together as he leaned down to give me kiss. Theres more. He rolled his eyes. The company picked you up some clothes for me. Most of your clothes seem to have been purchased from Victorias Secret so I got your sizes from Riley and had them go shopping. He pulled out two large, pink bags filled with clothes. Wow, its like Christmas! Taking the bags from him, I searched through and held up a pink hoodie with wings outlined in small silver sequins on the back. I like! I laid it on my lap and searched through the packed bags. You did too much, I whispered. This had to be so expensive. Joie, you do realize that Im a millionaire, right? Yeah, but Im not. I looked up at him. I dont want you to think that I need this kind of stuff. Joie, you have like three outfits so actually, you do need this stuff. He smirked. One more thing. He held up his finger. More?! I hope you dont mind, but I thought for our first date that you would wear something besides the sweats. Instantly pouting out my bottom lip, he quickly held up a hand. Not that I dont like the sweats. Just thought that maybe I could get you into one of these for a change. He reached into the closet and pulled out a soft, cream colored dress with a hemline that flared out just above the knee. The off the shoulder straps were lined in the same rippling chiffon material. Although the material was expensive, it looked more bohemian than dressy. Its Dolce & Gabbana, he explained. Its supposed to be nice. I know who Dolce & Gabbana are. I fixed him with a look before cracking a smile. He handed the dress over to me on the hanger. Taking the delicate material in my hands, I gushed, Its beautiful. It was, obviously, different from what I was used to wearing, but after all the thought he put into getting it for me, I just wanted to please him more than anything else. These are supposed to go with it. He pulled out knee-high, flat, brown leather boots. Without a moments hesitation, which was big for me, I puckered my lips together and jumped up to kiss him. I love it. They went a little crazy. He pointed to the small bathroom past his closet. He rubbed his five oclock shadow

They went a little crazy. He pointed to the small bathroom past his closet. He rubbed his five oclock shadow as he stared down at the ground. It was the first time I had ever seen Hawkins look slightly embarrassed. Pulling back the wooden door to the restroom, I noticed a basket with an arrangement of soaps, lotions, creams, and other items on the counter in front of the mirror. Tea lights were scattered throughout with rose petals. The small shower was behind the sink. White, plush towels were placed on top of the toilet to the side. I didnt ask them to set it up like this, he stammered. I know it looks like Like they wanted you to get laid? I finished his thought with a little wicked grin. Yeah, exactly. He rolled his eyes. All I said was to get some girly shampoo and soap. Its perfect. I leaned into him and rested my head on his shoulder. Ive been waiting to take a shower like this for weeks. I just wanted you to feel comfortable with me on the bus, he said earnestly. I do, I confessed while squeezing his hand. Well, Ill let you get yourself ready. He gave me another kiss before turning to hurry out of the room and away from all this crazy, strange, girly stuff. Stepping into the small room, I slid the door shut before I stripped off my old, dirty clothes. Plucking a large bottle of orchid scented shampoo off the counter, I popped open the top to smell it. It had a pleasant scent. Goodbye to the days of tiny, generic shampoo and thin little bars of hotel soap. Getting into the shower, I lathered myself in shampoo, then scrubbing cream, and finally soap. When I stepped out of the shower, I felt like a totally new person. Around the basket were hair products, a tooth brush and some makeup. Taking a few minutes to fully blow dry my hair, I then went to town with the tooth brush. Afterwards, I dabbed on some mascara and lip gloss. For the first time in a long time while checking out my reflection in the mirror I felt pretty. Opening the medicine cabinet, I looked to see if there was any room for the stuff he purchased me when I saw his collection of mens cologne. Searching the row for the one that drove me crazy, I found my favorite and sprayed it lightly along my wrists just so I could smell it from time to time. Finally done with my primping, I opened the door to the bathroom and came out to Hawkins bedroom wrapped in a white, plush towel. Holding up the dress, I sighed, Where was the tequila? Slipping the dress over my head, I pulled it down over my lacy cream bra and panties. Adjusting the sleeves, I was surprised that it fit perfectly. The little ribbed, frilly hemline felt soft against my thighs. Turning back and forth in front of the mirror, I smiled. Growling at the boots, I picked them up and sat back on the bed. At least they werent high heels; I tried to stay positive. Slipping one leg in at a time, I admired the whole hippie chic look. When I put all the bags back into the closet, I noticed that Hawkins leather braided cuff was on his night stand by his bed. Picking up the cuff, I ran my fingers along it and shrugged, why not? Wrapping the thing around my wrist, I fastened it shut. It hung ever so coolly. After saying a silent prayer that I wouldnt make a fool of myself, I opened the door. Riley was sitting with his legs over the side of the bunk bed while scratching his head and yawning. He turned to look down the aisle at me. You know you look good if you can make a gay man open his mouth and then snap it shut. It was even better when Hawkins stopped dead in his tracks, rendering him speechless. Looking down, I checked to make sure you couldnt see my cream bra for the hundredth time. Damn. Hawkins blinked at me a few times before smiling so big his eyes lit up. Where are you going? Riley let out a little cat calling whistle. With me, Hawkins announced proudly while I bit back a smile. His dark hair was sexily tousled back. He was wearing dark denim jeans and a navy blue button down shirt that was fashionably unbuttoned to his collarbone. He must have changed when I was in the shower because although he usually looked stunning, I could tell that he wanted to look his best for me. We met halfway down the aisle when he grabbed up a basket of food and tucked a blanket under his arm. Feel free to help yourself to the fridge, Riley, Hawkins called over his shoulder. Lay off the beer though, I added while walking down the steps. Okay, Mom. Riley chuckled. You two kids have a fun time! Hawkins waited for me to hop down from the last step to the bus. A slight breeze made my dress flow in the wind. You look so beautiful, he said in awe and took my hand in his. Here, let me help. Grabbing the quilt under his arm, we walked together. Looking down, I noticed the golden buckles that shined in the sun on my leather boots. Every time the wind gently blew, it swirled my hair and the soft hemline of the dress up against my thighs. The softness of it all made me feel beautiful. Theres a trail up ahead. He pointed past the parking lot as we came to a gate that led us out of the gravel lot. Up ahead was a long field filled with tall grass. Along the outskirts of the field were dense pine trees that must have

Up ahead was a long field filled with tall grass. Along the outskirts of the field were dense pine trees that must have extended for miles. The sun was shining down as we followed a little path where the long grass was bent over in a winding trail. Although I felt safe, I wasnt used to being able to be so alone. Looking over my shoulder, I wondered where Harrison was. Hes here. Hawkins anticipated my thoughts. Just far enough away. He smiled over at me. I want us to be alone as much as possible on our first official date. Is that why were in the field? I asked as the nearby grass swayed against my legs. To be alone? Partly. he frowned. And the other part? I asked while taking in the touch of our fingers. He sighed heavily, looking down at the ground and then back up as we followed along the trail. You wont be seen with me, he whispered while frowning again. Oh. The smile faded from my face. My heart ached with the realization. He was doing all of this for me and my fear of being discovered. Hey. He gently shook my hand, causing me to look up from the ground. It doesnt matter, he said, but I could hear the sacrifice behind his words. This is really just about you and me, he insisted. Ill take it any way I can get it. He squeezed my hand tightly while staring ahead. By now we had walked so far that the buses were in the distance. The only thing that could be seen was the gleam from the tops of them when he stopped and dropped the basket to the side. Here, lets put the blanket down. He waved for it and I gave it to him. He threw it up into the wind and it blew out. Hiking through the thick grass, I bent over to straighten out the corners. Hawkins walked across the white quilt embroidered in pink squares a few times to flatten out the grass. It was rumpled underneath the blanket, but it did the trick. Kneeling down, I sat on the edge of my boots. From down on the blanket, I couldnt see anything beyond the tall golden swaying grass. He put the basket in the middle to anchor the blanket. Were alone, I whispered in an excited hush. No bodyguards lurking behind us. Well, not that I could see from here. I know, he said, satisfied, cracking a side smile as he laid out on the blanket. He was so tall that he made the large blanket look tiny. He put his arm beneath his head to brace it from the ground. The cuffs of his navy blue shirt were folded back to his elbows. The dark flecks of blue in Hawkins eyes popped next to the flattering color. Come here. He motioned with his finger toward him. I crawled over on my knees and palms while liking the privacy the grass provided. My dress hiked up my thighs and the material hugged my chest. Judging by the way he looked, he liked what he saw. Why, J.T. Hawkins, you are shameless, I purred over top of him. He pulled me down and rolled over on top of me while laughing. My hands flew up by my head and I blinked up at him in surprise. He started to blow his lips against my collarbone and I laughed out from the way it tickled. He moved in closer and I recoiled. Not the neck! Squirming underneath him, I laughed. He suddenly stopped and looked down at me. He brushed back the hair from my shoulder and whispered, You are so beautiful. He tangled his fingers into my hair and leaned down to breathe in the scent of my hair. Umm, and you smell good, too. Reaching up, I curled my hand behind his head and ran my fingers through his thick hair. He suddenly titled his head towards my wrist and narrowed his eyes at me. Are you wearing my cologne? Yes. My face blushed by his discovery. It smells better on you then me, he groaned while tilting his head to graze his nose against the soft skin on the underside of my wrist. That, is not possible. I sighed happily. He lifted his head up causing his body to press tightly into mine again. Oh, I think it is, he disagreed. Hawkins reached across to pop a reed of grass from the ground. Close your eyes, he murmured. Why? Just do it, he repeated with a devious smirk. Closing my eyes, I wasnt sure what he was going to do but then I suddenly felt the soft feathered tip of grass graze against the side of my cheek. It was light, fluttery, and tickled. Giggling, I stole a peek when he growled, Keep your eyes closed. Biting my lip, I closed my eyes again. It barely grazed down along my neck causing me to quickly cover the spot with my hand because it tickled so much. He pushed my hand away. You have to trust me, he murmured. Then we might be here all day. I smiled up at him.

He gently pinned down my arms with his elbows. If thats what it takes, he whispered. Sighing, I shut my eyes. With my eyes closed, my other senses intensified. I took in the warmth of his body on top of mine. The wind rippling through the grass filled the momentary silence. A small gasp escaped my mouth when he dragged the reed along my collarbone. My body hummed when I felt the soft laughter in his chestobviously delighted by my reaction. Trying not give in, I put on the perfect poker face with my eyes closed. The initial tickling touch faded with some serious concentration. He gently grazed it along my neck and I had to bite down hard on my lip. I know its killing you, he whispered fiercely with a hint of pure satisfaction in his tone. I ground my teeth together as he brushed the long piece of grass along the soft spot between my collarbone and my neck. I dont know what youre talking about, I said triumphantly before clamping my mouth shut again. He laughed even harder this time, and I almost caved but pressed my quivering lips down tightly against each other. I guess I have no impact on you whatsoever, he whispered throatily in my ear. Sorry, none at all. The words rushed out before I closed my mouth again. I see, he murmured when I felt his rough hand quickly graze against my bare thigh pushing up the soft fabric between his fingers. My eyes snapped open and my mouth dropped in shock. He laughed and rolled off of me carrying me along with him until I was on top of him with my legs straddling his sides. I slapped him hard on the shoulder. Hey! I playfully slapped him again. I surrender! I surrender! He held up his hands in laughter. Yeah, you better, I warned, then smiled down at him. He pushed my hair back to rest his hand on the back of my neck while looking up at me with those simmering eyes. I love you, Joie. My heart ached as we watched each other. I, I. No, I know. He put a finger to my lips while narrowing his eyes. I know you cant say it yet. A small smile crossed his face. But I can, he confessed. I love you. Biting my lip, I knew that I felt the same way and slowly bent over with his hand behind my neck and kissed him. With his lips pressed up against mine, he kissed me lovingly. It was slowly becoming more intense with each second. He couldnt seem to get enough so he rolled over on top of me, continuing his kisses. God, how could a kiss feel this good? Joie?! Riley call out. Joie?! Hawkins and I abruptly broke away from the kiss in confusion. Joie?! Hawkins dropped his head over my shoulder and groaned, I really want to like him, but hes not making it easy. He rolled off of me and I stood up. Stumbling to get my footing, Rileys face dropped at the sight of me. Something about the way I looked must have been a cue to him as to what he interrupted because he started apologizing while bracing my cell phone against his chest. Flattening out my dress, I looked down at Hawkins. Im going to Go, ahead, he sighed while propping himself up on his elbow. I gave Hawkins another smile, then bodyguards started converging from the trees encircling the field. Holy shit. After standing up, Hawkins glanced around before he dropped his eyes to the ground. They were insistent that they needed to be thorough because its a field, he muttered. You werent supposed to know. He added quickly, They couldnt see us. Dont worry about it. I waved it off. But someone is going to have to tell them to go back to their hiding places, I smiled up at him and continued, because Im not done. Hawkins laughed and kissed my forehead. Seriously. I smirked up at him. Dont go anywhere. I turned back around towards Riley and began walking towards him, but I couldnt quite find the little trail we had walked along earlier. Riley looked so alarmed that I just started making my own path. Thankfully the leather boots went up to my knees and could protect me from the whipping grass. What did you want? I asked when I was close enough for him to hear. Its your mom, he gulped with a crazy fear in his eyes. Couldnt you have taken a message? I mouthed animatedly while approaching him.

She threatened to call the cops, Riley whispered. Taking the phone, I answered, Hello, Mom? Riley went to straighten out my hair, but I slapped his hand away. JOSEPHINE HALL! she yelled loud enough for anyone to hear in a twenty mile radius. Lizzie McIntyre just called me. My mom ripped into me. Oh, hell. She told me that you arent working for Senator Johnsons campaign. That youre on tour with the same band that shes following around. Mom, shes lying, I insisted. Josephine where are you really? Working for Senator Johnsons campaign. Why would she call me, then? my mom snapped. She said that you hit your head off something and that youre not thinking straight. Lizzie called to ask me what she should do? Are you okay? Im fine, I assured her while bracing my head. You know Lizzie, shes probably on some wild trip. You know she does drugs, right? Im not stupid enough to follow a band around, Mom. Ha, ha. I heard a familiar voice behind me. I whirled around to face the field again when I realized Hawkins was behind me and had overheard everything. Are you there? my mom asked, demanding my attention. Umm. I watched Hawkins storm off for the parking lot. Mom, I have to go. Josephine, do not hang up the phone! Youre breaking up, Mom, I lied. I love you. Snapping the phone shut, I chased after Hawkins and grabbed the back of his arm. He turned to glare at me. Is that what were doing together? Some wild trip? No. Then what are we doing, Joie? It was my mom, I tried to explain. You know I cant tell her That youre with me? He was quick to answer. No, it is not because Im with you. Panicking, I tried to explain. Its the tour. Shes not going to understand why Im following a band around. Funny. He grimaced. Im wondering the same thing? What do you want to hear? That its because I want to be around you? Because I do, I pleaded with him. Then why dont you tell her that? He looked over at me intently, but I didnt have a response. Lizzies voice whispered in the back of my mind, Hell just get bored with the innocent act and then move on. Thats what I thought, he sighed. Please dont be mad at me. I reached out for his arm. Im not mad, his eyes softened, just disappointed. He turned and walked away. I went to go after him when Riley grabbed me firmly from behind. Let him cool off, first. Why couldnt I just tell my mom the truth? What could she really do? Actually, she would probably do what I feared the most and tell me to come home. Technically I was an adult, but that didnt mean my mom still couldnt tell me what to do. My dads money could only take me so far, probably just enough to finish the summer tour. Then what was I going to do? I knew I would pack it up and head back home eventually just like Hawkins would at the end of summer. I just didnt want it to end it like this, before I was ready to say goodbye. Not that I would ever really be ready for such a thing. I may not know what I wanted to do with my life, but I was quickly figuring out who I wanted by my side while I went through it. Lizzie, I thought to myself while walking quietly beside Riley for the remainder of the way to the gate. I wasnt sure if I was ever going to talk to her again, even though I knew why she called my mom. She was becoming desperate because things werent working out for her like she had planned. Refocusing on Hawkins, who was leaning against his bus, we walked back through the parking lot. Riley nodded towards the van before leaving as we approached Hawkins. Im so sorry, I pleaded with him. I know, he murmured. Youve been honest with me and I cant ask for anything more than that, even if I want it. When my brother died, he suddenly lowered his voice. I could tell that he wasnt used to talking so openly about it. I felt exposed by the media, he confessed. It was all over the gossip magazines and probably even on YouTube. His eyes leveled with mine for understanding. It was a vulnerability that I never wanted to feel again. In fact, I came up with my own version of rules after that, a lot like you did, he explained while his eyes flickered from

fact, I came up with my own version of rules after that, a lot like you did, he explained while his eyes flickered from the ground up to mine. One of mine is that I dont like to talk about my personal life to the press anymore. Then here you come along and I thought, who is she to pry into my life? First, I got angry, his smile widened, and then I got even. Hawkins looked over my shoulder like his thoughts were miles away. Ive been thinking. His eyes flashed down to mine. Wondering, really, he clarified. What it is about you that triggered me to be able to write again. He narrowed his eyes and glanced down at his hands. Then it occurred to me that when Im spending time with you, Im not thinking about my brother or his death. Suddenly, I understood that it was me who hadnt moved on these last couple years. He looked down at me. You called me a shadow of a man. His eyes flickered down at the ground as his eyebrows pinched together. And I was so angry, a little wicked grin played on his lips, because I knew that you were right. I have been walking around half a man, a ghost he drifted off. But when Im with you I dont think about the past. You and I are so similar, he added. In a way, you liked Jake because he helped you cope with the death of your father. And I get it because, Joie, youre that person for me. You fill that space he drifted off. But where my rules keep me safe from the public eye, your rules are another thing entirely, he emphasized. Your rules are keeping you safe from me or anyone else who wants to love you. He reached up and cupped the side of my face. Dont you see? he pleaded. Keeping these rules because of how someone hurt you in the past is keeping you in the past. Joie, I want you in my future. I dont want to hide our love away anymore like its something to be ashamed of, he murmured into my hair. I knew that he meant everyone; the press, the public, and probably more than anything, my mom. You need to decide what you want, he continued, because being with me means breaking all your rules for forever. No more games. Hawkins pulled back a little to look at me. I went to speak, but he stopped me. Just think about it. Rehearsals about to start. He nodded towards Harrison who was just out of ear shot by the backstage door. He kissed me on my forehead before he turned to leave. As Hawkins was walking away from me, it felt like my heart might explode. I couldnt imagine letting him walk out of my life for good. He was right, I had to pick him or my rules because we couldnt move forward together without a decision. Although I loved hiding in the tall, swaying grass with him, we couldnt continue to play these foolish games forever.

13. WHO TO TRUST

Riley found me by the bus just before the concert started. He didnt press me for any details as we headed inside and down the hallway towards the side of the stage. He wrapped a protective arm around my shoulder and gave me one last good tug right before we nearly collided into Rob Harlow. Rob, who was looking down at a clipboard, was startled and started apologizing before he looked up. His eyes flickered to Riley and then to his arm around my shoulder. It didnt take a mind reader to know that he wasnt exactly thrilled to see the exchange between Riley and me. Umm, Harlow mumbled, were upstairs today. He gave a curt nod and exited the stage behind us. Beaming up at Riley, I sang, Jealousy. Whatever. He rolled his eyes, but a small smile played across his face. We walked up the set of stairs that crisscrossed to the top of the amphitheater. Once we reached the top, we walked down a small hallway that led to the lighting platforms. Riley waited patiently as I grabbed onto the semi-circular gate around the ladder and descended onto the platform. When my feet hit the ground, I looked down at the pavilion seats below. Riley came to my side and gushed over the high view as well. This is awesome! I exclaimed as we looked down at the lawn that was filled with fans. It is, he said. And Lizzie is going to flip. Why? I asked. Shes afraid of heights, he reminded me. Yeah, well, its me she should be afraid of, I said with an edge as we turned around and looked over the long panel of switches for the lights that faced the stage in front of us. Who would have ever thought she would sink low enough to call your mom, he agreed. So what did Hawkins say? He wants me to tell my mom the truth which I completely understand, I sighed. I just didnt expect it to happen like this. You know, Ive really had it with Lizzie I had just enough time to tell Riley before being interrupted by the crew.

the crew. They climbed down the ladder and bounced to the platform one by one. They nodded at us before they went about their business. I noticed Hampton came barreling down next. The two of you need to back away from the railing, he instructed while glancing down at the crowd. So Riley and I moved away. The sun was setting behind us as The Larks exited the stage. Wheres Lizzie? Riley asked me when Harlow descended the ladder alone. Dont know, dont care, I said dismissively. Are the side screen lights ready to go? Harlow asked as he looked over the lighting board. I have the set list for tonight. Hawkins just wrote it. Theres a new arrangement for the song Josephine during the encore. Oh, holy shit. Riley looked over at me, but I couldnt meet his eyes as he softly chuckled. Everything else should be relatively normal, Harlow explained to the crew. No big surprises, he continued as he put in his ear piece. So lets do this. Randy, get the spotlight ready, Harlow instructed. The crew member was gruff, but attractive like he could have been Viggo Mortensens twin. I returned my gaze to the crowd when they started hollering below us as the band took the stage. Wait for Hawkins cue, Harlow commanded. In four, Harlow held out his fingers, three, two, and one, lights up. Hawkins hit his first note just as the lights came up. Harlow had to anticipate everyones actions on the stage for the lights to match the pace of the music. The whole stoic thing was working for Riley in a setting where all you could do was look on. Wanting to understand Rileys obsession with the lighting aspect of the show, I leaned in as he pointed out certain things. One of them being, that the lighting screens behind the stage flashed scenes of city streets at such a fast pace that it blurred the picture like a watercolor. He pointed at the lights down below that flashed at the same manic pace as Blakely played the drums. The night continued without a hitch until Randy, from the lighting crew, bent over. Riley seemed to notice, too, but Harlow was too busy working the lights to look over. Randy attempted to lift the spotlight when he suddenly dropped to his knees and passed out. Harlow turned to look over at Randy in shock as the spotlight zipped off the stage below. In a delayed reaction, no one moved but Riley. He suddenly jumped ahead and grabbed onto the light. Riley moved the heavy spotlight around, following Hawkins like he had been doing it for years. And my mouth dropped opensince when did Riley ever react in these situations? The other two crew members quickly tended to Randy who was coming around again before one of them patted Rileys back. He took the spotlight and Riley moved back to my side. He was still watching on with the intensity of a crew member. The lights went down at the end of the song. Randy was helped off the platform by a paramedic, who said something about dehydration. Harlow came up to Riley, and I noticed the angry expression he seemed to reserve only for us had disappeared. He grabbed on to Rileys shoulder and said, Thanks, man. No, problem. Riley puffed out his chest a fraction. The testosterone kicked up a couple notches when they exchanged some kind of manly handshake before Harlow turned back to the stage. Trying to stay cool for Rileys sake, I stopped myself from shouting with the crowd when Hawkins walked across the stage for the encore. He slipped the strap over his shoulder and secured his guitar in place. The spotlight zeroed in on him as he grabbed the microphone to croon, Josephine. But dont it feel good, Josephine. But dont it? At the end of the show, Harlow actually smiled at us before he climbed up the ladder. Riley took my hand in his and squeezed it. We smiled at each other before Hampton led the way up the ladder, too. Walking down the small hallway to the steps, I was only thinking about Hawkins as we descended the stairs. Whats your position? I heard someone ask Hampton in his ear piece. Exiting the pavilion, Hampton answered. Riley pushed back the exit door and Kosic quickly entered from the outside. Where are you going, Joie? he asked me breathlessly, stopping both Riley and me. Outside. I nodded and went to walk around him. He jetted out an arm while stopping me from exiting out the doorway. Startled by his actions, I asked, What is it, Kosic? Hampton turned around, noticing that we werent following behind him. In the next second, I heard an explosion while Kosic sheltered me with his body as we were thrown down

In the next second, I heard an explosion while Kosic sheltered me with his body as we were thrown down against the floor. Wincing from the pain of Kosic landing on top of me, I looked out the open door at a fiery ball that used to be a tour bus. We locked eyes with each other and I shrieked, What did you do? I didnt do it, he gasped for air. Whose bus is that? I asked frantically. Is Hawkins okay?! Joie, you need to leave. Youre not safe here. What do you mean? He rolled off of me, but before I could press him for an answer he was up and running down the hall. Sitting up, I grimaced from the throbbing pain along the back of my head. Riley? I called out, but I couldnt see through the billowing black smoke. Riley? Im here, he groaned. By the door. Relief flooded through me as I felt around for him. Hampton slammed the exit door shut to keep more smoke from coming in. Joie! Hawkins hollered down the hallway behind us. Joie, is that you? Oh, thank god, Hawkins was okay! Yeah, its me. I coughed and hacked on the smoke. Hawkins raced down to us and helped me up. He coughed and then covered his nose with the top of his shirt. Are you okay? Thanks to Kosic. Where is he? You dont understand, I whispered just out of the ear shot from Hampton who had come out of the explosion unscathed. He stopped me before the bus exploded. What? Hawkins looked at me quizzically. He was visibly anxious and turned distractedly towards Riley. Are you okay? I was better before, but yeah, Im okay. Riley got to his feet. Hawkins looked over his shoulder before he led me quickly outside to the parking lot. He turned to Hampton who had followed behind us. I need to talk to them alone. I cant just let you stay out here unprotected, Hampton argued. You can let me if you still want a job on this tour, Hawkins snapped. Hampton stopped pursuing and fell behind us. Hawkins led us past the fiery blaze outside. A group of frantic crew members were hovering and talking in the shadows, clearly thrown by the turn of events. Whose bus was that? I asked. Swanks, but hes ok, Hawkins reassured us. Hes still back at the venue. Hawkins led us across the parking lot to my dads van. You need to find Kosic, I urged him. Dont worry, I will, Hawkins promised. But he cant be doing this alone. He just doesnt have the kind of experience or clearance it would take to pull this off by himself. You think its someone who has clearance? I asked him in horror. We dont know who to trust anymore, he confessed and opened my vans side door. He looked in the back to make sure it was empty. What are you doing? I asked him. I had you stay with me because I thought I was offering you the best protection, but now I know this is the worst place for you to be. Whoever is behind all of this has to be someone from the inside which means you need to get away from here as quickly as possible, he said determinedly. Theres no way Im leaving without you! I insisted. He blew up a tour bus like he said he would. Dont you understand? His eyes were wild with fear. I cant let whoever is doing this get to you too. Riley. Hawkins turned and passed him a set of keys. My family has a farm in Georgia on McCarthys Farms Road. Its the safest place I can think of for you guys to go. Ill meet up with the two of you as soon as I can. Come with us, I pleaded. Its not safe for you here either. Its not that simple, he sighed. This is my band. Ill have to be here when the cops come. Riley started up the van and Hawkins pulled me in for one long, last hug. He pulled away from me, and urged, Joie, you need to leave. I thought about it, I said, but my voice was suddenly drowned out because of the sirens from the oncoming fire trucks. What? Hawkins yelled, but he looked distractedly over his shoulder at Hampton as the trucks sped in.

Joie, go with Riley! He waved at me as he backed up. Hurry! I thought about it, I confessed as Riley came up from behind to intercept me. I, I love you, I shouted, but Hawkins had already raced back towards the fire. Riley tugged at my arm and pulled me away from the one thing I was sure of now. Once Hawkins was closer to the fire, he whirled around to make sure I was finally leaving. He looked truly afraid for me so I snapped out of my dazed state. Quickly, walking back over to the passenger seat, I got in and fastened my seat belt. I watched the outline of Hawkins silhouette against the distant color of scorching flames and prayed that he would be safe as Riley started up the van. We pulled out of the space and I waved one last time at him before we were ushered in to the concert traffic. It looked like everyone had gotten out of their cars to watch on in horror at the blazing tour bus behind us instead of trying to exit the amphitheater. We should text Lizzie, Riley spoke first. Surely, shes safe with Warren. I rolled my eyes, not wanting to think about her, as we pulled out of the parking lot. Do you think Kosic bombed that bus? I dont know. Riley exhaled. But its true what Hawkins says, he cant be working alone. Hes just the manager of the opening act. Hell, they practically have security watch them like they do the fans. Though, working with The Grimm Reaper would probably appeal to him since he could use some of the ransom money, especially with all his gambling debts. Hes probably just as poor as us. Gambling debts? I asked in bewilderment. Thats why hes always playing cards. Didnt you hear them tell him to stop counting that night? Riley looked over at me. I just thought that he liked to play cards. Oh yeah, he likes it alright. Riley laughed. It was bitter sweet to be back in the van again. It reminded me of all the fun the three of us had in it, but without Hawkins beside me, it had never felt emptier. Riley pulled off the road into a nearby parking lot after we had put at least fifty miles between us and the last venue. We laid down on the cot with our backs to each other, but I knew that neither one of us were sleeping. I was worried for Hawkins and I knew that he was worried for Harlow, but with all the added stress of almost getting incinerated by the tour bus, we eventually passed out. We woke up well into the next morning and I threw the sheet off me when I heard Riley stir up front. Reaching my arms out, I yawned as he threw a packet of left over crackers next to the cot. Breakfast of champions, he said brightly. Groaning, I stumbled up to the drivers seat. Shielding my eyes from the noonday sun, I snatched a cracker out of his packet. Hey, yours are in the back, he protested while turning away from me. Fine, I grumbled. Lets just get this over with. Shifting the gears, I pulled the van back onto the nearby road. After merging onto the highway, I tried to keep my mind occupied by taking in the beautiful scenery of the countryside. At first it worked as I looked out at the long swaying fields of grass that extended out as far as the eye could see. Then visions of us in the grass laughing and kissing came reeling back to the forefront of my mind. Was it really just yesterday? If it wasnt for the fact that my hair still smelled faintly like smoke and that we were kind of on the run from Hawkins own staff, I wouldnt have believed that just yesterday we could have been so carefree and in love. Trying not to think about it, I glared out at the stretch of gray highway in front of us instead. Riley was typing away on his laptop beside me when he suddenly gasped. Oh, no, Riley murmured with pure dread in his tone. What is it? Is it Hawkins? Oh, Joie, his voice cracked. He has Lizzie. Who does? The Grimm Reaper, he said gravely. Swerving the van, I pulled over to the side of the highway. How do you know? I suddenly went cold as I cut off the engine. Its on the internet. He looked sick as he clicked the mouse on the icon and hit play. Is this how you imagined your fifteen minutes of fame? I heard a creepy voice ask Lizzie behind a camera. Huh? I could see that Lizzies arms were bound behind her back. She was kneeling down on her knees, which were visibly scraped up, and her hair was plastered over her face as she cried. The spotlight shined on her in the semidarkness of whatever god forsaken place he was holding her captive. No one is coming for you, are they, Lizzie?

Lizzie looked helpless while kneeling there and wailing. My eyes suddenly welled up with tears because I had never seen her look so vulnerable. No, because we both know that you arent the real Lizzie. No, the real Lizzie is somewhere very safe from harm, isnt she? The sickly voice continued to torment her. A stabbing pang of guilt washed over me. Why had I not looked for her last night? Hawkins would probably pay all the money in the world to save the one he truly loves, but not for you, he said, mockingly empathetic. But Warren might care, maybe, he questioned. I guess well just have to wait and see. You have twenty-four hours to get me the money or else! The video suddenly cut off to a black screen. Riley and I sat there, too stunned to utter a word. I stared ahead while watching the passing cars like a blur. God, how long had he had Lizzie? Riley played the clip again and again when he suddenly went rigid and mumbled, Where is the next venue at? Umm, I dont know? West Palm Beach I think, why? Thats where hes taking her, Riley announced. We have to turn around. But the tour is probably postponed after last night, I reasoned with him. If not canceled. You dont understand, Riley interrupted. The band has two crews; one that goes ahead to the next venue to set up the stage in the morning and the other that comes to take it down at night like in shifts. Hes with the first crew at the next venue. Look, he turned the computer around and showed me. In the back, those are equipment and musical cases. My eyes widened with the realization. The video has to be a couple hours old, he estimated. Theyre either rigging up the stage as we speak, he looked down at his wrist watch, or theyre already done and are gone by now. Either way we need to hurry. How did he get inside the crews semi? I asked while pulling onto the highway. He must have someone important under his control, Riley said grimly. An emergency vehicle only U-turn came up in the middle of the highway, and I took it. Its all over the news. He looked worried. Theyre calling it a potential marketing scam that has turned deadly. Why didnt I worry about where she was last night? I murmured to myself. You were mad. Riley consoled me. I would have been mad, too. He was typing on his laptop when I overheard a news broadcaster comment. The stalker goes by the name The Grimm Reaper. He has taken Lizzie McIntyre hostage while claiming that she isnt the real Lizzie McIntyre who has been blogging about the lead singer J.T. Hawkins. Hawkins has refused to talk to the press about the whereabouts or the name of the real Lizzie. Images of Hawkins being ushered by bodyguards into a hotel flashed on the computer screen. Fans of the band are rallying behind them with support after what is believed to be a marketing scam planned to bring attention to the once Grammy winning band whose sales have plummeted to an all-time low in the past three years. I love the band, a fan confessed. Its a shame that this makes the press when they are so musically talented. Turn it off, please, I moaned while looking out my side window so I could merge into the next lane. It was then that I saw what had been staring me in the face for weeks now. The window adjustment caught my eye because I vividly remembered snapping it off when I was a child. My eyes quickly took in the small glass center. For a few seconds all I could do was blink down at the small device in astonishment. OMG! He had wired the van! Could he just see us or hear us too? Snapping my eyes back to the road, I wondered how much my expression had given me away. Gripping the steering wheel so tightly my knuckles turned white and I realized this meant that we had to rethink everything. Quickly, I turned off at the next exit. If Im going to be useful at all; Im going to need some food, I said in an unquestionable tone. Okay. He pointed ahead. Theres a McDonalds. Trying not to panic, I drove the remaining quarter of a mile to the fast food joint. I pulled into a parking space and cut off the engine. Riley looked at me while seemingly confused that we werent going to the drive-thru. Are you coming? I asked him like we didnt have a friend to save. He must have thought that I had lost my mind. No, Im okay, Riley answered. Just try to hurry, alright? Shutting the door, I began to walk away while pulling out my phone to text him. Dont ask any questions, just follow me into the restaurant. Riley came out of the van a second later with a confused expression across his face, but he followed behind me without saying anything. Pushing through the door, I turned around and confessed what I had just discovered. Are you sure?

Are you sure? Im positive. My eyes gazed along the counter where the employees were busy taking customers orders. My father went nuts when I broke it. Rubbing my temples, I paced back and forth by the condiments. He said too many secrets in the forest. I came to a halt. He has been listening this entire time! I thought about all the things we talked about in the van and it made my skin crawl. So thats how he knows everything. Rileys shoulders caved. And now he knows what were planning to do. I would assume that yes, he does, I ventured a guess. So he knows how to wire things, Riley murmured. And hes in the back of the semi with the equipment that only the crew has access to. He was able to get backstage to reach Lizzie and you while going under the radar around everyone else. You know this whole time I thought it waswhat do you call him? Hampton, but now I think our guy is definitely a crew member, not part of security. You dont get more inside than that, he informed me. We need to call Hawkins and warn him, I urged. No, you cant. Riley grabbed my arm and stopped me. No one can see us coming. Okay, heres the deal, he explained. I could be wrong, but weve just killed ten minutes when were supposed to be racing to Lizzies rescue. I say we stick with the plan. It would only cause suspicion if we backed out of it now. Okay. Riley laid out a plan. If hes crew then things will probably move smoothly to draw us into the venue. If things dont move smoothly then you can call Hawkins. He held up his phone. Ill text you if we need to talk again. Until then lets keep talking about trying to find Lizzie while were in the van. Okay. Now buy a Big Mac. He pointed up at the menu overhead. And then Ill go to the restroom so that Cyrus doesnt start to become suspicious. While youre in the restroom, Ill head back to the van and wait. I squeezed his hand. Im so glad youre here with me. I smiled weakly. I dont think that I could have done any of this on my own. You would have done what you needed to do, Riley disagreed. Dont underestimate yourself. I wasnt so sure, but appreciated the thought as I turned to get into line. Soon after, I pushed through the glass door with a small bag of food in my hand. Crossing the busy parking lot, I looked warily at the back of the van. For the first time it didnt feel safe or comforting. Knowing that Cyrus had somehow tampered with the van made me feel even more violated. Opening the drivers side door, I got in and tried so hard not to focus on the small camera that I didnt realize I wasnt alone. Startled, I jumped right out of my seat when Cyrus came up from behind me. Shoving my shoulder back down, he flung himself in the passenger side seat. Why dont we go for a little ride, Joie? I went to reach for the door when he pulled out a gun and added, Dont be difficult. How did you find us? A tracking device. He turned his head to look over at me, like, you really need to ask? As if he was imitating Riley, he sprawled his legs out and I shuddered with the realization. I dont need Riley, so we either wait here for him, he pointed his gun down at the van, and he dies or we start our trip a little earlier today. He pointed the gun at me. Quickly, I put the van into reverse, but stole a glance in my rearview mirror. Oh, did I forget to mention that if he sees me with you, hes a goner. With my foot on the gas, I floored it out of the McDonalds parking lot. Thats much better, Joie. I knew you would want to protect Riley. He is your BFF after all. He dramatically grabbed his chest with his free hand. Now, lets go to that farm Hawkins told you about. Why dont I MapQuest it? Cyrus offered. Since Riley cant be here to do it. The air caught in my throat as I felt the panic rise in my chest. God, he had been listening to us this whole time! Now, Joie, Im sorry to butt in so to speak, but I couldnt have you going back to the venue. No, no. He shook his head. Not with what I have planned. You would have ruined the surprise. He waggled his finger at me. And you know everyone likes surprises! he said gleefully. Youre going to want to take exit 155. I took the exit like he instructed when my cell phone went off and I pulled it out of my pocket.

I took the exit like he instructed when my cell phone went off and I pulled it out of my pocket. Ah, ah, I dont think so, he warned with the gun aimed at me. Just putting it on silent, I muttered before shoving it back in my pocket. Oh, poor Riley, Cyrus pouted out his bottom lip. Hes probably so worried. Suddenly rubbing his hands together, he shouted brightly, Oh well, moving on. Now lets have a little fun, he sang. The hidden cameras see everything in the van, trust me. Oh, god. What was he planning on doing? He bent over to pick up Rileys laptop and opened it so that it balanced on his knee. To my astonishment, he quickly typed in the password. I guess the cameras could see everything. Now remember, you cant see all the cameras, but they can see you. Hello, America, he said while staring ahead. We are going to begin our exclusive interview with the real Lizzie McIntyre. So, will you please tell everyone your real name? What are you doing? I looked over at him in bewilderment. Ill be asking the questions! he yelled, startling me. Your name! Umm, Joie Hall. What is your relationship with J.T. Hawkins? Romantic, friendship, he listed. I cleared my throat while looking out at the busy highway. I knew that Riley would call the police, but would they reach us in time? He roughly grabbed the back of my neck and shoved me forward hard. Answer me! he roared. Romantic, I stammered while regaining control of the van. Shit, this guy was crazy. Thats much better, he announced. So, how long have Hawkins and you been involved in this marketing ploy? The questions kept coming as I continued to steal glances in the rearview mirror, hoping for a miracle. Although I wanted him to keep talking, with all his focus on Hawkins and me, I was starting to fear for more than just my safety. You know, people just dont seem to understand that this isnt about the money for me unlike my accomplice in security. What?! My heart felt like it was suddenly lodged up in my throat. You didnt know, he said surprisingly. That one of them was really working for me not Hawkins, he said, placing his hand on his chest. That must feel really scary, he said in a mocking voice. Oh, and its not Hampton, like Riley suspects. It made my toes curl how effortlessly he used their nicknames. No one else ever seemed to understand my naming system for the bodyguards. He was right to suspect security; he came this close. He made a smidge mark with his fingers. Anyway, back to us. How about Lizzie and her criminal record?! he said shockingly. Hawkins would never understand, but we all know she is so oblivious. She must be the only person who cant see that hes in love with you. He spoke in such a dismissive way. Thinking this man was completely psycho, I stole a sideways glance at the grass divider near the highway below and contemplated how likely I was to survive such a jump? Oh, Joie, I wouldnt think about running if I were you, he said while aiming his gun at me. Who would save Lizzie or dont you care? He sighed. Her head is getting really big. I can hardly stand it myself. He mockingly rolled his eyes. Your mother might care though. He made an effort to point his gun at me. And we all know that you dont want to upset your mother. A pang of guilt stabbed me with the mention of how awful we had been to Lizzie. God, where was he keeping her hostage? All I have to do is click this little button, he said animatedly. And poof. He smiled to himself. Shes dead. Dont even think about hurting her, I hissed. Oh, he emphasized. You care about her now. Its kind of a little late for caring, dont you think? Anyway, how about a game? he proposed. You like to play games, stupid little games; no tour buses, no backstage visitsso how about another foolish game? he offered. First question, do you care about Lizzie more than, lets say, he looked up as his eyes searched then turned to me with a bone chilling smile, Hawkins? The color drained from my face and I suddenly felt faint, but I wouldnt answer him. Now Joie, look into the camera and tell America, he said sweetly like a parental figure, tell us which one you care about most. My jaw clenched as I stared ahead. Joie, he growled. Tell us. He grabbed my hair and jerked my head over. Screaming from the pain, the van swerved on the road. Tell me which one! The van vibrated as it ran over the warning track.

Tell me! he roared. We were going to drive right over the hill if I didnt answer him. Hawkins! I screamed. He released me and I suddenly started crying. Oh, Joie, dont cry, he whimpered. Its only me here, he cooed. You see I dont plan to air this little documentary until well after youre dead. Cant let Hawkins know yet. He smiled sinisterly. Tears fell down my face so hard and quickly that I could barely focus on the road. The only thing that kept me going was knowing that the longer he tormented me, the more time Lizzie had to live. Lets see what Lizzie picked in our little game, he said then looked down at the opened laptop. Does she know that youd be willing to let her die if it meant Hawkins could see another day? The laptop had a picture of Lizzie with her head hung down while crying. A hidden person put a gun to her head. She tilted away with a fearful expression across her face. Her hands shook as she flipped over the card in her lap. There written in a shaky scribble was one name. Hawkins. Wow, good job, Lizzie, he commended her. You will live to see another question. He exclaimed like a game show host before the screen blacked out on the laptop. Did Hawkins ever tell you why he looks so miserable all the time? Why he couldnt write anymore? Turning to look at him, a feeling of horror overtook me. You wired his bus? America needed to know, they had a right to know, he stressed. Why Hawkins was so cynical, he made quotation marks with his hands, all the time. A sickening kind of shudder raced down my back because he was referring to my private conversation with Hawkins. You see, Im not here for the ransom money, Joie. No, no, no. He shook his head. I believe Hawkins might have mentioned his brother was dead. How it was so tragic for him, he said grimly. How he allowed his brother to drive home drunk. His jaw clenched. He knowingly let his brother drive home drunk, he leaned in to whisper with his hand cupped over his mouth. Thats not going to do well for his ratings. He could have stopped his brother, but he didnt, he glared ahead. And now my wife and daughter are dead too. He turned to look at me intently. He took the ones I loved from me and now Im going to take the one he loves from him. Jerking my head towards him, I saw him looking at the dashboard. Knowing that he must have done something to the van, yet still not understanding, I followed his gaze. Oh yes, youre going to be reunited with your dead dad sooner than you thought. He smiled sickly. A happy little family reunion. Its happening a little later then I originally planned. He glared over at me. Since someone had to be a hero the other night in the Escalade. You were so brave then. Are you feeling brave now? He glanced down at dashboard again. Its funny how the brakes arent working anymore. Instinctively, I tapped on the brakes, but the van didnt slow down. Trying again, this time I rammed the breaks when Cyrus cried out, WEEEE! He held his arms up like he was on a rollercoaster ride. Its amazing how fast that brake fluid can leak. This is going to be so much fun now! Youre going to willingly kill yourself? I shot a look over at him. No, I have some friends waiting to pick me up. He patted his belly while stealing a glance through the side window. What did that mean, pick him up? Youre just after me, right? Oh, my god, what if he could reach Hawkins. Now, Joie, I dont want to ruin the surprise for America. Is Hawkins safe?! I shouted again. Well, ask yourself this. He smiled crookedly again. How safe could he be when he has me as a member of his crew? Youre a crew member? The pieces were all starting to fall into place. So Riley was right, I whispered to myself. Of course Im on the crew, but Im not the only one involved, he toyed with me. I couldnt have killed Monroe and planted his body all on my own, you know. Swerving around a few cars that had slowed down, I started to really panic. God, any minute we could crash into another car! So, whos helping you? Oh, goodie! He clapped his hands together. That sounds like a great game question! Dont you think, America? He looked down at the opened laptop. Why dont we phone a friend? Oh, I know, how aboutLizzie.

His face brightened. Ah, Joie, try to focus on the road. He pointed ahead. Snapping my head forward, I swerved over before barely colliding into the back of an SUV. Gulping, I tried to take a deep breath and eased back for a moment in the seat. If I didnt hold it together, I was going to end up killing myself. Oh, Lizzie, Cyrus cooed as the image of Lizzie came up on the laptop again. We have another question. Lizzie looked wild with fear as a gun caressed her face. Who do you think helped me from within Hawkins staff? Is it Hampton? My eyes darted from the road over to him. You and your nicknames, he said happily. Im not much of a football fan, but I have watched a few Steelers games to see if they really resemble these guys. He laughed. Somewhere the real Casey Hampton is wondering why theres a cop car outside his house. He turned back to the image on the laptop. No one knows these ridiculous nicknames besides you and your stupid friends. Lizzie? Cyrus prompted her. She looked through her cards on her lap while whimpering. She held up a sign that read, Woodley. Oh no, Im sorry. He mockingly winced. Let me tell you what youve won, he announced in his game show voice. A trip of eternal bliss, in heaven. Its Harrison. It suddenly dawned on me. Thats why he gave Lizzie such a hard time about her social. He wanted to leave her vulnerable with us in the van rather than safe with Warren. Ohh, very good. Cyrus grinned a flash of yellow teeth. We need a tie breaker. Sighing in relief, Hawkins would at least find out the truth, even if I didnt survive this nightmare. Now I needed to focus on helping Lizzie stay alive as I glared ahead at a sharp bend in the road up ahead. Looking through my rearview mirror, I realized that the same semi-truck had been tagging us for the last several minutes. Was it behind us at the exit? When I started to change lanes, Cyrus laughed out, Faster, faster! The semi had to swerve to keep up with us. The drivers face was hidden by the rim of a low ball cap. The passenger wasnt identifiable either, but the camera in his hand was. I searched the image of Lizzie on the laptop. You might not want to take your eyes off the road, Cyrus warned. Looking up, I just had time to jerk the steering wheel from going over into a side ditch. Glancing over at the monitor, I had just enough time to catch Lizzie being jerked over by the sharp turn of the road too. She was behind me in the semi-truck! I refocused my attention back to the road when I felt Cyruss cold eyes sear into the side of my head. Had he noticed the double take? A slow Honda caused me to have to jerk the van over into the passing lane. Looking in the rearview mirror, I noticed a side door had been pulled back along the truck. He had said that his friends were going to pick him up. Realizing they were going to pull him to safety, I couldnt let Cyrus get away. Whats the tie breaker? I asked while shock started to take over. Oh, we have a live one, he exclaimed. This next question is for you just to ponder. Do you think Hawkins kept the real Lizzie to himself because he wanted to protect her secret or because he was ashamed of her? Fuming, I just ignored the side comment. This may hurt your feelings a little bit. He made a smidge mark. As much as Ive enjoyed our little talk, its time for me to go, he pursed his lips together, and for you to die. The truck drove so close to the back of the van that all I could see was its silver grill in the rearview mirror. I threw a look over my shoulder when Cyrus looked back as well. That would be for me. Cyrus perked up in his seat. Could you be a dear and pull into the passing lane? Although I didnt want to be helpful, he aimed the gun at me. I asked nicely, he said. I pulled the van over into the passing lane and the truck sped up beside us. Cyrus went to prop open the door when I caught a glimpse of the driver. Kosic! I couldnt believe he would help Cyrus kill me! Startled, I nearly ran us off the road into the grass divider between the highways. Cyrus leaned over so that our faces were barely inches apart. I will rip, he said, losing all his psycho playfulness, you to shreds if you do that again! Do we understand each other? His eyes were threatening and I nodded to show I understood. Now, pull up beside the truck! he yelled. Wrapping my hands around the wheel, I tried to stay even with the truck. A side door was pulled back along the white rig. The inside was empty. Where was Lizzie? The equipment cases that Riley and I saw this morning were gone, too. This meant the stage was already assembled, I realized with a feeling of dread. Cyrus propped open the door to the van again. A strong muscular man, probably from the crew, motioned for Cyrus to come to him. With Cyruss hand on the handle, he balanced himself on the edge of the van.

Cyruss hand on the handle, he balanced himself on the edge of the van. He was getting ready to jump. Taking a quick glimpse out at the road again, I noticed we were quickly approaching the car in front of us. Obviously, I couldnt slow down without brakes as the space between my van and the car became smaller and smaller. The man from the rig held his arms out preparing to catch him. Cyrus was going to be freed just in time for my death. There was a patch of grass in between the two highways. I could pull away just in time or make my own lane, but an overpass was coming up ahead. The concrete support pillars of the bridge were blocking my path. I was going to wreck into something eventually. Wrapping my hands around the steering wheel, I thought, if I had to lose it all so would Cyrus. He rocked his body back and forth, but before I could reach the overpass he pushed off the ledge and jumped towards the crew member. The man caught him with a firm grip under his armpits. He was being pulled into the rig when Kosic suddenly slammed on his breaks. The van rushed forward, but I kept my eyes on the truck through the rearview mirror. As the momentum of the rig jerked, the crew member who was helping Cyrus fell forward onto his knees. He was still in the process of pulling him in, but lost his grip when he fell. Cyruss arms and chest were hanging on the ledge of the trucks floor, but his legs and lower torso were hanging outside. Cyrus panicked and grabbed onto the crew member. The man hadnt yet regained his balance and when Cyrus pulled on him and the momentum carried them both over the edge. Just like that, they were both sucked under the truck. The semi bounced up and down while crushing them both under its tires. I snapped my eyes back to the road in front of me. AHHH! I screamed out while almost driving up on top of the cars bumper in front of me. I quickly swerved out around the slow line of cars. Looking back in the rearview mirror, Kosic waved and I exhaled in relief. He had killed Cyrus to save me. The relief of Cyruss death would have felt better if I wasnt going seventy miles an hour without brakes. Where were those emergency pull offs when you needed them. Kosic merged over into the passing lane and around the sluggish cars behind me and sped up the truck alongside of me. The passenger side window was now sprayed with blood. I guess whoever was documenting the show from the front of the truck was dead now, too. The truck continued to steadily pass me by before it pulled over into the lane in front of my van. The red tail lights flashed as he tapped the brakes again and again. The van came dangerously close to the back of the semi when I understood that he was attempting to slow down the van by using the truck as a buffer. If I was scared before, then I was terrified now since I could easily lose control of the van in the dangerous stunt. Kosic tapped the breaks again. Grinding my teeth, I cocked my head back. Saying a silent prayer, I let the van ram hard into the back of the truck. Our vehicles broke away for a second and I fought the vans wheel from fishtailing into the oncoming traffic behind us. The rig swerved from side to side a little from the collision. We both gained control again before he started to tap his breaks again. The bright red tail lights made me feel anxious as we made contact again. Sparks flew from the front of the van as I fought for control over the steering wheel, but this time the van had considerably slowed down. We broke away again, but I hit a deep pot hole and the van swerved over to the warning tracks. My eyes flashed up to the small hill of the next exit. Going thirty miles an hour now, I turned the wheel up the ramp and into the grass. The resistance continued to slow the van down, but I was heading straight for a patch of trees. Propping the side door open, I watched the blur of grass below. It was still too fast for me to jump. At the last minute, I jerked the steering wheel and held on to my seat belt as the van lost some more momentum before ramming into a tree. The seat belt dug into me, saving my life. Lifting my head, I realized that I had a serious case of whiplash. Id definitely be feeling that in the morning. Frantically, I looked out the window at the semi-truck that had pulled off on the side of the highway. Forcing myself, I unfastened my seat belt to retrieve Cyruss gun that had skidded to the floor. I waited to catch my breath with the gun in my hand since I didnt know if there were any more unwanted survivors left in the semi-truck. After taking a moment to catch my breath, I hobbled out of the van wincing in pain. Tears welled up in my eyes at the sight of my van destroyed by the tree. Judging by the damage to the van, I was just lucky to be alive. Limping my way down to the semi, I staggered with the gun in my hand. A tall figure with dark hair and green eyes came around the side and smiled at me. Nathan Kosic, I said in a rush of relief and lowered the gun. Before he could answer, Lizzie popped up behind him with mascara running down her face. Hawkins over me, really? Lizzie tried to make a joke out of the near death experience. Oh, thank god. I grabbed my side, to catch my breath. Youre alive. Yeah, but if we dont hurry the band might not be so lucky, Kosic said grimly while slamming the other side

Yeah, but if we dont hurry the band might not be so lucky, Kosic said grimly while slamming the other side of the truck shut before coming closer. What do you mean? Instant terror froze me to the spot. Lizzie looked at Kosic then started to cry again. Warrens in danger, she confessed. What? I wrapped an arm around her as she trembled beside me. We dont have time to explain. Kosic swiftly walked towards the front of the truck. Were not going anywhere with you, until you start doing some explaining. I tightened my grip around Lizzie. Like for starters, what are you doing here in the first place? They knew that I was close to you. They thought I would be helpful, he said as his face fell. So when I accidentally saw them move Monroes body, they threatened to kill me if I didnt help them. He pleaded for me to understand. I was at the wrong frigging place at the wrong frigging time, he confessed. Please, Joie, we dont have a lot of time to talk, he muttered while opening the side door. I gasped when a body fell out of the passenger side seat and into Kosics arms. Lizzie turned to bury her face in my shoulder while crying even harder. He quickly dragged the body down to the side of the truck. Covering Lizzies eyes, I looked away from the gruesome scene as well. Kosic was moving the corpse in broad daylight, but the big rig must have blocked what he was doing from the highway because not one vehicle driving by seemed to notice us along the bend of the road. After a few more grunts and a heavy thud noise, he loaded the body into the back. Finally shoving the side door closed, he locked it. Kosic hiked his shirt up over his head while walking back to the passenger side again. He quickly wiped down any remaining blood from the front seat. Lizzie. He motioned for her to come to him. No way am I sitting there, Lizzie murmured while recoiling even more into me. Okay, maybe the seriousness of the situation isnt enough incentive, Kosic growled. Then how about this, they rigged the stage to collapse on the band. What? I asked in horror. Yeah, theyve been planning it for weeks. He put his hands on his hips. So either you get up in the seat or Hawkins and Warren go bye, bye. He motioned for Lizzie again who had a death grip on me, but I broke away while taking her hand in mine. Walking past him, I jumped up into the cab. Lizzie looked up at the bloodstained window and whimpered before he helped her up inside and slammed the door shut behind her. Lizzie and I crawled in the back where there was more seating and frankly, less blood. Lizzie molded into my side again while trembling even harder. Kosic opened the drivers side door and jumped up behind the wheel before shutting it behind him. He turned the ignition and I felt the diesel engine roar to life as the seat hummed underneath me. I looked outside the window one last time at the van. Goodbye, dad, I whispered. I will miss you. Kosic shifted the gears of the truck and accelerated down the side of the road before he pulled over onto the highway. The scenery picked up around us and the van quickly went out of view. I tightened my grip around Lizzie who was still crying and rested my head on hers while tears streamed down my face. You okay? Kosic looked over his shoulder at me. Wiping away a few tears, I nodded. I will be, We need to make a quick stop, I added. Riley kind of got left behind. Good, Kosic exhaled, obviously relieved. Hes a good kid. For a moment I thought maybe he drifted off. But Im glad hes alive so where to? At a McDonalds a couple miles away, I explained. Pulling out my phone, I realized Riley had texted a dozen or so messages while it was on silent. Cyrus abducted me and the van. Everything is fine now. Were on our way back to pick you up, I texted before snapping my phone shut. Im so sorry, Joie, Lizzie murmured while breaking away from my shoulder. Her blonde hair was matted against her wet cheeks. Hawkins, she gasped in between tears. Hawkins isnt my type. You were right. Youve always been right. Her wide, blue eyes looked up at me filled with tears. Im so sorry I called your mom. It was low, she continued. I have felt so alone these last couple weeks, she confessed. I cant believe that this might have been my last day alive and I never got to tell Ryan how much I still love him. I know you do. I brushed back the hair from her face. But he isnt going anywhere, she squealed. Lizzie, where are any of us going, really? Huh? At least with Ryan you wont have to go through it alone. Youre a good friend. She started to cry again. And Ive been horrible, she gasped. It was how I knew that

Youre a good friend. She started to cry again. And Ive been horrible, she gasped. It was how I knew that you would pick Hawkins over me. She fiddled nervously with a hangnail. Instantly, I felt ashamed by the memory. Cyrus was going to kill me, I tried to explain. Its okay, I would have picked Ryan, too. She rested her head on my shoulder again. Wrapping my arm around her, I said, You know I love you like family, right? Like family? She sniffed. Just like it. I rested my head on hers again. Looking at the back of Kosic, I knew that I wouldnt be alive right now if it hadnt been for him. Sensing that I was watching him, he smiled at me through the rearview mirror. Though he was smiling, it was obvious the stress had taken a toll on him, too. He looked like he hadnt slept for days. Just then my cell phone went off and I snapped it open. What happened? Are you okay? I came outside, but the van was gone. I didnt know what to think at first. So he was waiting for you? Riley texted, clearly worried for me. Yes, but Lizzie and I are safe now. I tried to ease his fears. Were almost at your exit. Ill see you in a few. Looking at my phone, I went to scroll down to Hawkins number. Someone has got to warn Hawkins. NO! Joie, stop! Kosic shouted frantically. Hawkins doesnt have his phone, Wayne or Harrisonwhatever you like to call himtook all the phones. He warned the band that the stalker might try to reach any one of them to negotiate a deal, so he took the phones claiming that he would handle any incoming calls. How are we going to stop Hawkins then?! I shrieked. Im working on a plan. Feeling helpless, I suddenly felt like crying again, but someone had to be strong for Lizzie. I really needed my best friend so I was oddly relieved to see the McDonalds parking lot again. Riley was sitting on the edge of the sidewalk when we pulled up beside him. He continued to scan the road behind us, probably still looking for the van. Kosic rolled down his window, and asked, Are you lost, son? Lizzie and I were already up on our feet, popping our heads out around him. Riley beamed up at us and stood up. Yeah, I kind of got left behind. You wouldnt happen to be heading to West Palm Beach, Florida, would you? I think we can arrange that. Kosic grinned down at Riley as he came around the front of the truck. He opened the passenger side door and hopped in. The smile disappeared from his face when he looked over at the bloodstained window. You might want to roll that down for me, Kosic advised with a grim expression. Riley sat down and did what he was told to do. He turned to look back at us with a fearful expression. What the hell happened? And wheres the van? As we raced down the highway, I filled him in on everything he had missed. So that sick bastard is finally dead, Riley said triumphantly. How did Hawkins react when you told him about the stage? We didnt, I murmured sullenly. Hes in on it and has Hawkins phone. Who does? Riley asked. Harrison, I muttered. Hawkins bodyguard?! Yeah, I groaned, My sentiments exactly. We can do this, Kosic assured me. If we separate, Im sure one of us can reach the band or the people who can. Ill head in first, so that Harrison thinks everything went according to plan. It should make it easier for the rest of you guys to get in. Who else can we trust who works for the band? I asked. I think that we can trust Harlow, Riley spoke up. Okay, you try to find Harlow, Kosic continued. Its his stage in a way. If the lights dont go up then the band cant play. Maybe he could even find whatever triggers the stage to collapse and stop it. How are we going to convince him? I asked. We have the video Cyrus was planning to air on the internet later tonight, Kosic informed us. You can give him that, it should be enough. If we get close enough, I can try to get a message to Warren through the venue crew in front of the stage, Lizzie offered. Since Hawkins is unreachable. But to do that Im going to need a distraction so I can approach the stage. She nervously bit her lip. I dont know how much time Ill have without one.

Im a pretty big target. Im sure to stand out. I spoke up. Ill make sure they see me when the time is right. Besides, Hawkins wont play if he sees Joie flagging him down, Kosic reasoned. Warren either, Lizzie added. Okay, so the girls are going to stay together. Kosic nodded. Youre going to need to make some friends beforehand or youll both stick out. That shouldnt be too hard to do. Lizzie smirked. Im sure the right group of guys would love to pick up a couple of girls whose car just happens to be broken down a few miles back. Really hook them because youll need your new friends to help get you past security at the gates, Kosic cautioned. Hell still have the staff on the lookout for you guys, just in case. Are they all in on it? I asked in astonishment. No, but they think you guys were behind the bombing of the tour bus and then fled before you could be questioned, Kosic explained. They think that because he lied. Hawkins would never believe that we did that, I interrupted. Harrison is an ex-FBI agent. Hes no amateur, so dont put anything past him, Kosic continued. Do whatever you need to do to give me time to head in first, tailgate, whatever. Dont worry about us, Lizzie assured him. It terrified me how unprotected Hawkins was and he didnt even know it. We continued to plot for the next hour, until we started to see signs for the amphitheater as the sun edged closer to the horizon with every minute. Knowing it would come down to the wire, we had to execute our plans perfectly to stop the band from crossing the deadly stage. Kosic pulled the semi down a dirt road away from concert traffic. I was just glad to be finally doing something when Riley helped me down from the truck. He pulled me into a hug. I love you, he murmured into my hair. Try not to get yourself killed, okay? He smiled down at me. Love you too. I smiled up at him. Tell Harlow that I said hello. Riley rolled his eyes and smiled before he walked over to kiss Lizzies forehead. He wiped away the remaining mascara from her face with the end of his t-shirt. Lets do this, Kosic urged. Well head off first. I led the way down the dirt path with Lizzie as planned. We headed towards the concert traffic and I looked back at Riley one more time. He stood with his hands on his hips. The concern and fear he felt for us was evident in his expression. God, please dont let anything happen to him. Lizzie grabbed my hand and squeezed it, bringing my attention back to our part of the plan. We walked out beside the line of cars that were stuck in the usual drag of concert traffic. Lizzie started thumbing to hitch a ride. It didnt take long before we were snuggled in the back of a green Jeep Wrangler. Lizzie did all the flirting with the two guys that had picked us up. Thank god, I didnt have to do anything but keep my head down. I did catch their names, however, and smiled up at them occasionally throughout the conversation. Trevor and Casey were brothers, well, I guess half-brothers, I wasnt really keeping up. Trevor was the all American looking guy: tall, built and way too handsome for his own good. Casey was shorter with dark hair, but just as cute. Trevor pulled into a space and cut off the engine. Staring dejectedly out at the packed parking lot of fans, it was weird to see the normal, happy chaos of the crowd. No one knew what Cyrus had in mind for them if we didnt succeed at stopping it. Nudging my side, Lizzie brought me out of my thoughts so that I would get out behind her. She took a beer and handed it to me while we hung out at the back of the jeep. It was killing me that we had to sit there and try to blend in so we could get close enough to warn Hawkins. Casey had a ball cap on and Lizzie snatched it so she could put it on her head. It was way too big for her, but she looked cute as usual. Here, Joie. She put the ball cap on my head. Youre the Cowboys fan. For a fleeting second Lizzie couldnt help but laugh. If wearing this wasnt love, I didnt know what was. It did hide part of my face, making me just a little less recognizable so it was a good idea. She convinced them to head up earlier than usual when the first set of fans started their ascent up the hill to the pavilion. They both had taken an instant liking to Lizzie, but Casey got stuck with me. Lizzie looped her arm through Trevors and looked up at him while they chatted. I didnt have the frame of mind to flirt as we approached the security gates, but Lizzie turned around to include Casey in their conversation from time to time which kept him happy. As Lizzie flirted, I scanned the place looking for security. After searching for a minute, I saw Miller and Hampton looking at the crowd on either side of the lanes leading to the gates. Lizzie must have seen them too because she leaned into Trevor in the way a romantic couple would have done, but he didnt seem to mind. Tugging the ball cap down around my eyes, I looked over at Casey. So. The panic rose in my chest while I tried to have a normal conversation. How long have you been following

the band? Caseys face twitched with surprise that I had finally started talking. A couple years, he estimated. And you? Only this summer, I confessed as we inched closer down the line. So youre not like a fan, fan, he said in a slight disapproving tone. No, Im a fan, fan, I corrected him. Right, he said unconvincingly while drifting further from my side. Leaning into him, I whispered, I mean, I know the band. Sure, he taunted. Actually, I know Hawkins, I said determinedly. Yeah, okay, so do I, he snickered. Oh my gosh, where was Hawkins when I needed him? Already knowing that I sounded like a lunatic to this little rock star wannabe, with his dark Hawkins hair and thin leather necklaces dangling around his neck. Hawkins and I, I whispered, deciding to confess it all. Were like a thing. And it just gets better. He laughed. Lizzies face faltered when she glanced back at us. If Trevor and she were a happy romantic couple then we were the opposite. Lizzie just lifted her eyebrows and turned back around like it worked either way. We were so preoccupied with the little snit we were having that we made it through security without a hitch. So youre a groupie, huh? he teased. Tugging my hat down while fuming, I followed behind Lizzie while moving away from Hampton at the gate and down to the t-shirt vendor. You know what, I muttered when out of earshot. Yeah, I am. Im a groupie. I said it, I emphasized. Im a groupie. God, if Hawkins could hear me now he would probably laugh and give that little shit a tip. Lizzie turned around and smiled up at Trevor then Casey. We really have enjoyed your company, but we have to go. Lizzie went to grab my hand. Oh, and shes telling the truth. She turned to look back at Casey. She is Hawkins girlfriend. Im just glad shes finally admitting it to someone. Lizzie took my hand and led me away from the bewildered guys. We saw that Woodley was walking up towards us and we instantly separated. Pretending to get in line to buy a beer, I pulled down my ball cap and hid among the slew of fans. Watching through the corner of my eye as Woodley passed behind us. Lizzie made eye contact from the line at the next vendor down below. She nodded at me and we both took off again. Stopping, I leaned against one of the trees that looped around the outskirts of the lawn so I could give Lizzie time to make it to the second pavilion. She flashed her backstage pass, while continuing to go under the radar, and made her way down to the lower pavilion. Glancing up at the lighting platforms, I tried looking for Riley, but I couldnt see him or Kosic. Lizzie shimmied her way down to the orchestra pit, but instead of sitting down she approached the venue crew in front of the stage. Security did a double take in her direction like we had expected. I tossed the ball cap to the side and stepped out of the shadows of the greenery. Walking down the pathway, I followed the curve around the back of the second pavilion and in front of the lawn. Once by the aisle leading down the pavilion, I flashed my ticket to the venue crew and they let me pass by them. Raising my arms back and forth, I walked down the center of the aisle. Security was all abuzz while talking back and forth through their ear pieces. They moved away from the seats in the lower pavilion to converge around me. As they came, I watched Lizzie explain what was going on to the crew in front of the stage. She had the mens undivided attention like we had hoped. Just as security roughly grabbed a hold of me and dragged me down the aisle, I saw someone quickly usher Lizzie away from the stage. My heart sank with the realization that our plan wasnt going to work. Then I saw Hampton at the end of the aisle. Hawkins bodyguard rigged the stage! I exclaimed while being walked down to the lower pavilion. Yeah, well, he told me that you rigged the bomb on that bus that exploded. He roughly grabbed my arm and escorted me away from the stage. Think about it Hampton, please! How could I have deleted the tapes of Cyrus picking us up backstage? I grappled with the realization. It was Harrison who wanted to know our position before the bus blew up, wasnt it? A little convenient, dont you think? Why the hell would we be walking towards the bus and not far away from it if we blew it up? I know, I continued, I know that you had to have felt that something was wrong, too. I tried to reason with him as he dragged me to the backstage door. Its your job to notice things other people would overlook. It must have felt impossible to think, to wonder how could he? Hes a member of security. Hes your friend. His eyes suddenly soften and I knew that I was right.

His eyes suddenly soften and I knew that I was right. But Im telling you this is another one of those times that you have to just follow your instincts, I stressed. We didnt blow up that bus and you know it. Loud clapping came from the direction of the backstage door. Turning my head away from Hampton, I looked over at Harrison. That was quite a performance you just put on, Ms. Hall. Apparently catching the end of what I had just said, Harrison continued, But lying is what you do best, isnt it? Ill take it from here, he told the other bodyguard. Harrison grabbed me up by the arm and led me through the backstage door away from Hampton. Trying to figure out what I could do, I drew a blank. This just couldnt be happening, I had to stop him! Harrison was so strong that he didnt exactly need me to walk to get me down the long corridor. Tripping over my shoes a couple times while trying to keep up, I saw Woodley approach us from the opposite end. Harrison held up a hand. Dont worry I got this, he assured the other bodyguard before he pushed through a door and dragged me in behind him. Wheres The Reaper? He whispered hoarsely once we were alone again. I didnt answer so he wrapped his hands around my shoulders and shook me again. Where is he?! Youre supposed to be an ex-FBI agent, where are your morals? I blurted out. Why do you care about my morals, he hissed. Cyrus is a psychopath, I yelled while trying to put it all together. But you cant be evil. Ive seen the way you interact with Hawkins. You care about him. Dont make me ask you again! He screamed in my face while squeezing my arms that still hurt from the accident. Ignoring the pain, I asked, Was it for the money? No, it wasnt for the money, he barked before thinking. Then why? I dont have time for this, he huffed. What about the stage? Its triggered to collapse with the first chord, he confessed like it was irrelevant information now. I started hyperventilating. My heart felt like it was going to burst out of my chest. My shoulders caved and I openly started to sob. I didnt care about Harrison or what he was going to do with me. All I felt was the gut wrenching pain of knowing that Hawkins was walking to his death. Shut up! Harrison hissed and quickly grabbed me by my upper arm before he dragged me out of the room. I just need to get you back to The Reaper. He pulled me further down the corridor and away from the stage. Thenyoure heading the wrong way, I stuttered while realizing that I needed to get to Hawkins. Cyruss getting ready to watch the stage collapse. Harrison pulled me up by the cuff of my shirt until we were eye to eye. You better not be lying to me, he growled. Im not lying. Cyrus wants to record the stage collapsing for everyone to see on the nightly news and internet. I said it so convincingly that I almost believed it myself. Harrison seemed too easily convinced when I realized this was probably the plan from the beginning. He had a firm grip on the back of my arm as we retraced our steps back down the long hallway. Right before we turned the bend to the opening of the side of the stage, Harrison whispered in my ear, Dont try any funny business. We rounded the corner when Harrison suddenly came to a halt. The band was huddled around the door leading onto the stage while looking up at the lighting screens. It was playing a movie on it, a homemade movie. Did Hawkins ever tell you why he looks so miserable all the time? Why he couldnt write anymore? My stomach dropped as I watched the video of Cyrus and me in the van. Cyrus sounded even crazier than I remembered, but I was relieved because this meant the lighting crew knew and could stop the band from crossing the stage. You wired his bus? The shock in my voice boomed out of the concert speakers. America needed to know, they had a right to know, he stressed, why Hawkins was so cynical all the time. You see, Im not here for the ransom money, Joie. No, no, no, he muttered. I believe Hawkins might have mentioned his brother was dead. How it was so tragic for him. The video continued to play. It was haunting to watch my reactions to what Cyrus was saying. My terrifying looks were probably giving him the performance of his dreams. He knowingly let his brother drive home drunk, Cyrus said in a hushed voice. Thats not going to do well for his ratings. Hawkins shivered and then did a double take when he saw me out of the corner of his eye. He could have stopped his brother, but he didnt, Cyrus continued overhead. And now my wife and daughter are dead, too. He took the ones I loved from me and now Im going to take the one he loves from him.

are dead, too. He took the ones I loved from me and now Im going to take the one he loves from him. Its Harrison, I shouted in the background on the videotape. Thats why he gave Lizzie such a hard time about her social. He wanted to leave her vulnerable with us in the van rather than safe with Warren. Oh, very good, Cyrus praised on the overhead screen. Harrison looked up at the screen and then back down to Hawkins. I had nothing to do with this, Harrison muttered while slowly backpedaling with a hand still tightly wrapped around my arm. Warren glanced over at Hawkins and then turned around, too. What are you doing with Joie, Wayne? Hawkins asked cautiously. Hes been working with Cyrus! I shouted. Shut up, Harrison said while fiercely yanking my arm. They rigged the stage to collapse! I continued. Hawkins started towards us, but Harrison whipped out a gun and put it to my head. I dont want to hurt anyone, he forewarned. But I need her. He backed up even further down the hallway. You dont understand, The Reaper has my wife and kids. If I dont give him something in return he will kill them. No, you dont understand, I tried to explain that Cyrus was already dead, but Harrison wrapped a hand around my mouth and muffled out my voice. Woodley to the left of the door went to radio for help. Ah, ah, ah. Harrison aimed the gun at the other bodyguard. None of that, he cautioned. No one better follow us either. He aimed the gun at Hawkins who had come one step closer. Or I will have no other choice but to shoot her. Cyrus doesnt want her, he wants me. Im the one he blames. Hawkins edged closer to stage. How does it work? Hawkins asked him. The stage, what is it rigged by? No, the girl is enough. Harrison sounded flooded with guilt by what Hawkins was planning to do now that the scene was playing out in front of him. No, I wont let you hurt her. You run down that hallway and I will hunt you down, he said through clenched teeth. This is your best option. Harrison stood still contemplating his decision as he easily kept me contained with his arm wrapped around my waist and his hand covering my mouth. How is it triggered?! Hawkins shouted while startling Harrison. You play the first chord, he said flatly. And the crowd, Hawkins asked. Are they in danger? No, he wanted as many witnesses as possible. The stage falls in on itself, he explained in the same disheartened tone. Hawkins backed further away and insisted, Let her go. Im not stupid! Just enough that I know you wont run away with her, Hawkins explained. The further I move to the stage, the further she moves away from you. Its not like you dont have a gun aimed at her. Harrison released his grip around my mouth and shoved me forward. Hawkins, dont do it! I bolted forward and Harrison jerked me back by my shirt. Joie, Im alive again because of you. If he kills you, it will be as though I died too. This is the only option I can live with, he said before turning around to walk over to his guitar. The crowd roared to life with his entrance to the stage. Hawkins turned in Harrisons direction with his arms held out. Move, Harrison ordered while pointing the end of the gun in my back. I inched closer to Warren who had his hand held out for me. Watch it, Harrison warned Warren. Not until he plays the first chord. I watched in horror as Hawkins threw the guitar strap over his head. Hello, yall, he said to the thunderous applause of the crowd below. The spotlight zinged around to warn Hawkins. Harlow or maybe even Riley was trying to warn him. He was going to die and I couldnt stop it. Tilting my head in Harrisons direction, I tried one last time, You know Cyrus is dead, right? Why should I believe you? he snapped. Its coming up on the clip. The semi runs him over. You have nothing to offer a dead person. Shut up! he roared as he backpedaled down the hallway, but his aim was steady. Cyrus is dead! I shouted back to Harrison. And now Hawkins is going to die, too, I hissed. Except this time it fault. Just watch the end of the movie!will be your Hawkins spoke into the microphone bringing everyones attention back to the stage. The band thought that we would do something a little different tonight. Start things off a little quieter so Im going to do a little solo, Hawkins

explained over the loud video clip in the background. Cyruss face was plastered everywhere on the stage as if he was watching everything unravel down below. Hawkins tall frame looked so small on the stage and so very alone. The death scene was coming up. Hawkins looked down as he arranged his fingers along the fret board of the guitar; the last chord he might ever play. On the screen the door opened and everyone could see Cyrus trying to balance himself before he jumped. Cyrus struggled to hold on while screaming. Harrisons eyes grew wide with fear when in the next second Cyrus was sucked under the truck. I bolted towards the stage not caring if he still decided to shoot me as Hawkins strummed the first chord. The platforms below me started to wobble when we collided into one another. The ground dropped us at an angle and the crowd screamed. We skidded down along the tilted metal platform into darkness when Hawkins was suddenly jerked back. He had just enough time to grab the cuff of my hoodie. Pinning my upper arms to my sides so I wouldnt fall out of the hoodie, I grabbed at my neck since the material was strangling me. Give me your hand, Hawkins ordered and I lifted my right arm up. Our fingers twirled around until he firmly had a grip. A mixture of fear and willpower gave him enough strength to pull me up. I wrapped my legs around his waist and held on. We were awkwardly dangling there by his guitar strap as I breathed a sigh of relief. Looking down at a wash of lights to the concrete floor below, I realized the stage went further down than I thoughttwo floors at least. A circular contraption that must be used for performers to enter the stage from below was underneath us. I heard the fabric of the guitar strap start to rip. Hawkins and I searched for something else to grab on to. Screech! The eerie sound became louder when the drums started to suddenly tip overhead of us and then crashed on the ground below. It wont hold our weight, Hawkins groaned. What should we do? The fabric ripped a little more, causing us to bob up and down for a second. It felt like my heart was now lodged in my throat. Just then a snare drum barely missed knocking us down the rest of the way. I couldnt help but scream out. Hawkins pulled me into him and grunted, Here, hold on. He helped slip the strap around my shoulder and arm. Confused by how this would be better, I was shocked when Hawkins searched my eyes lovingly and confessed, I love you, Joie. In the next second, he slipped out of the strap and plummeted to the ground. NOOOOOO! I screamed. As he fell, Hawkins reached out for the circular contraption below, but only grasped onto it for a few seconds before his fingers slipped right off. He fell down to the ground and whacked his head off the base of the drum set, knocking him out instantly. Crying hysterically, I dangled back and forth by his guitar strap while feeling completely helpless as he continued to just lay there. The lighting panels over top of me threatened to collapse as I closed my eyes, waiting for my death. There was a loud whapping boom up above and then only silence. The screen had fallen over, but due to the mesh of cables stopped just above my head. Flashes of the nightmarish ride with Cyrus still flickered above me and I sobbed while yelling for someone to help Hawkins. A few crew members raced to Hawkins, who still wasnt moving down below. Another group came and raised the circular contraption up in my direction. Harlow was standing inside it. Let go, Joie. He nodded encouragingly. I have you. Defeated, I dropped my arms, not caring if I made it onto the damn thing or not. A short fall later, I was in Harlows strong grasp. Are you okay? My knees caved and I sobbed uncontrollably in his chest. Easy there, Harlow murmured as we were lowered to the ground. Is Hawkins, I heaved, is Hawkins okay? Yes, he spoke softly and I felt a swell of relief as I looked up at him. Hes breathing. We called an ambulance. By the time we reached the bottom, the paramedics had already rolled in a stretcher. Running over to kneel by Hawkins, who had still not come around yet, I was pushed away by a member of the emergency crew. Is he going to be okay?! Honey, youre going to need to back up, the paramedic ordered. Harlow gently pulled me back by my shoulders. They quickly checked his vitals before they put an oxygen mask around his mouth. He started to come around again and I rushed over to the stretcher once again. He looked so pale and weak when I took his hand. Joie, he heaved making the oxygen mask fog up. It was all the strength he had to say before he squeezed my hand. Again, I was gently pushed back by the paramedic and our fingers released from each other. No, dont, he gulped, no. He went to move his oxygen mask, but the lady fussed at him. Joie. He reached his hand out for me and I reached out for him until our fingers intertwined again. The emergency crew gave up on trying to separate us as

they raced him down the hallway with me beside him. The exit doors were pushed open and they lifted his stretcher up into the ambulance with me right behind him. Sitting on the side, I tried to stay out of the way as we continued to hold hands. Hawkins was slowly looking better with each passing minute. I didnt, he gasped then swallowed. I didnt want to leave you back there unprotected, he croaked. I still dont know, he sounded fearful, who to trust. He gulped again and I caressed his cheek with the back of my hand while he closed his eyes. Its over, I said soothingly. No ones going to hurt me now. I gently ran my thumb back and forth across his cheek. He started to close his eyes again when the paramedic ordered, Stay with us. He was fighting to keep his eyes open when they rolled back into his head and then shut. Hawkins! I squeezed his hand before being pushed back against the cool metal side of the ambulance so that the paramedic could tend to him. Before I knew it, the ambulance shook as it went over the speed bump in front of the hospital. The doors were flung open and a wash of fluorescent lights lit up the ground below. They lowered the stretcher with Hawkins on it and transported him into the emergency room. Running to keep up, a nurse stopped me, showed me the waiting room, and said someone would be out as soon as they knew anything.

14. PREFERENCES
The waiting room had a dozen or so other, less serious, patients and family members who looked bored as they watched Judge Judy on the T.V. overhead. I could have taken one of the many choices of seats around the room, but I just paced back and forth to the side by the vending machine. It didnt take long until I recognized Rob Harlow rushing through the emergency doors. Stopping for a second, I looked for Riley as he came in behind him. I ran along the glass doorway and right into Rileys arms. Is he okay? Riley murmured in my hair. I dont know. I sniffled from crying. They just took him back. Turning towards Harlow, who was pretending to watch television up above while giving us as much privacy as possible, I said, Thanks for rescuing me earlier. Its okay. He shrugged. It is my equipment he drifted off when I sensed that a part of him blamed himself for what happened tonight. Im just glad that you were there, Harlow added, looking over at Riley. I was so used to Harlow acting like we were this nuisance he had to put up with, so I was thrown to hear him talk to us like we were equals, even friends. I couldnt have done it if you didnt listen to me, Riley reminded him. You could have just as easily believed what Miller was trying to tell you at first. After the other night when you stepped in to help, listening to what you had to say was the least that I thought I owed you. Especially when Ive been, Harlow hesitated then confessed, such a jerk. He quickly cleared his throat and thumbed over his shoulder towards the admitting station. Anyway, Im going to go see if they have a more private place for the band because this waiting room will be filled with fans soon. The last thing anyone needs to be thinking about right now is signing autographs. Cool. Riley nodded as Harlow turned to head over to the check-in desk. Rileyyyy, I whispered only loud enough for only him to hear. What did you do to Harlow? I just handed him the tape, I swear. He cracked a grin. You should have seen us on the drive over. Neither one of us said a word. I could tell that he wanted to say something, but he was just as nervous as I was. He was fidgeting with the air conditioner, asking me if I was okay. Best ten minutes of my life. He smiled goofily. Speaking of crazy turn of events, Riley continued. Did you know that Lizzie is back with Ryan? I may have heard something about that. I smiled to myself. Glancing around the emergency room made my stomach churn. There was something cold and distant about hospitals. It made my chest tighten with fear. What if Hawkins wasnt okay? Ten minutes later, we were ushered into a small waiting room off limits to the public to avoid the fans that had

Ten minutes later, we were ushered into a small waiting room off limits to the public to avoid the fans that had already begun to swarm the emergency room. It felt like eternity by the time we finally heard some constructive news on Hawkins wellbeing. A doctor who was dressed in light blue scrubs and a white lab coat entered the room. He held up his hands when a few of us rushed him with questions. Hes stable for now, but were still waiting for his test results to come back from the lab. We wanted him to rest, but he was adamant that he needed to see, he looked down at his clipboard and continued, Warren Bingley and Joie Hall. He turned and headed back through the emergency doors with us behind him. We walked down a hallway where drawn curtain dividers to our left provided privacy for the patients occupying them. A nurse station to the right had a tall, white counter extending the length of the room before curving around another hallway. Doctors and nurses were working busily behind it. It was the typical kind chaos of any urban emergency room. The doctor we were following finally stopped, pulled back a curtain, and motioned for us to enter. Hawkins was resting on a hospital bed that faced us. There was scary medical equipment surrounding the back of the bed. Hawkins smiled up at Warren who led the way into the room. His smile grew even bigger when he looked around Warren and saw me. Although he looked tired and pale, I was relieved to see that he was in such good condition. I felt a world of concern lift off my shoulders. Sinking down in one of the nearby seats, I reached out to take his hand. Warren filled him in on all the details about Harrisons arrest so that Hawkins didnt have to worry for me any longer. Though he would never admit it, I knew that he was scared, too, since he had trusted Harrison with his life. After Warren eased his fears, he gave us a little time to be alone. Getting up from the chair, I came over to the side of his bed. Move over. I nudged him. He slid over a little so I could snuggle up to him in the hospital bed. I have a job to do, I reminded him while I rested my head against his chest. And that would be? he asked. Im your personal body warmer, remember? Oh, Im sorry. He played along while brushing back my hair. I just thought you wanted to be near me. Umm, hello, the economy is crazy right now. I wrapped my arm around his broad chest. Ive got to do any job I can find. Is that what were telling the press now? That I pay you to warm my body up? He laughed then grimaced. Ah, man it hurts to laugh. Lifting my head off his chest, I looked up at him. You can tell them whatever you like, I said honestly. But you should probably leave out the part where we did more than just blog about each other, I added. Technically there was some kissing and ass grabbing. They might frown upon that, I noted dutifully as my chin rested on his chest. Its probably good that we get our stories straight. A smile lit up his face. I mean we have been known to disagree. What! I asked innocently. Who, us?! A nurse walked in, but she instantly seemed to sense that she had interrupted something. Im sorry. I didnt mean to disturb you. No, its fine. Pulling away from Hawkins was one of the hardest things for me to do, but I forced myself when the doctor came in right behind her. The doctor looked over Hawkins chart. Besides the concussion, he sifted through the test results, everything else looks fine, no fractures, no internal bleeding. The doctor looked up from the chart. Im going to prescribe something for the pain and then well let you go. Just make sure you come back if you start to feel disoriented or sick. I hope you dont mind, the doctor added while presenting Hawkins with a piece of paper and a pen. But my younger daughter is such a fan. No problem. Hawkins flashed his brilliant smile when my phone rang. Pulling out my cell, I looked down at Mom flashing on the screen. Holding up a finger to Hawkins, I slipped behind the curtain and into the busy hallway. After taking a deep breath, I sighed and thought, well, here goes nothing. Flipping open the phone, I answered, Hello? Josephine Hall! I grimaced while holding the phone away from my ear. You lied to me! Its all over the nightly news. About that Mom. I bit my lip nervously. Im so sorry. Not as sorry as youll be when you come home!

Not as sorry as youll be when you come home! Im not coming home, Mom. I looked down the hallway then turned my back to it while trying to keep my voice down. What do you mean? she snapped. Im staying for the rest of the tour. I heard my voice quiver, but I was certain that I wasnt leaving Hawkins any time soon. Is this because of that rock star? Hawkins, Mom, I corrected her, His name is J.T. Hawkins. Did he get you knocked up? What, no, Mom. Groaning, I rolled my eyes. How am I supposed to just sit back and let you throw your life away for a guy? she huffed. Just trying to breathe, I let her continue her rant, knowing that it wouldnt change my mind. It will only end badly, she warned. I hope that you are wrong. I felt my stomach churn. Hell just move on to another girl. God, Mom! I stared dejectedly down at the ground. How do you know that he doesnt have something going on with Lizzie, too? Im not you, Mom, and he isnt dad. What are you going to do? Chase a band around for the rest of your life? Actually. I whirled around and suddenly stopped to look up at Hawkins who was now fully clothed. I could tell by his expression that not only had he overheard the entire conversation, but that he was waiting to hear my answer, too. Yes, I confessed. Yes, I am, Mom. I looked up into those loving blue eyes that seemed satisfied with my answer. I was giving him what he wanted. I was choosing him. Oh, Josephine, youre going to end up just like your father, she warned. I bent over to catch my breath. It was like I was suffocating. Did you hear me? Josephine! Hawkins took the phone from me and gently closed it. Thank you, I sighed from feeling overwhelmed. I told her, I murmured while standing back up. I told her. You did. He cupped the side of my face with his hand. I briefly closed my eyes from the comforting touch. He rubbed his thumb back and forth over my lips as his eyes looked into mine. I heard you. Wrapping a consoling arm around my shoulder, he molded me into his side as we walked down the busy hallway. He slowed near the exit of the hospital wing. He tapped my nose and murmured, You ready to do this? He nodded towards the door leading out to the emergency room full of fans and probably the press. What if I said no? I whispered as I gazed into his eyes. He gently pushed me against the nearby wall, arms outstretched on either side of me, leaning in for only me to hear. Id throw you over my shoulder, he said while pushing back a strand of my hair soothingly, and make you. His blue eyes locked with mine. My mom would be on the first plane out tomorrow morning, then. Well, we wouldnt want that, now would we? He smiled down at me with our lips just inches apart. Just then the doors flung open to the emergency room. The loud room became deafeningly silent. Seconds later, flashes of light went off like it was the Fourth of July. I grimaced from the blinding light of the cameras before turning to laugh in Hawkins chest. Mrs. Senator. Hawkins pushed off the wall and held his hand out for mine. Mr. Senator. I nodded, taking his hand as I pushed off the wall and we walked into the light together. If I had to do it all over again, if I had to endure the shame of the elevator ride once more, knowing Hawkins was going to change my life forever by saving me from myself, I would have sucked up my so called pride, stepped in the elevator, and watched the doors close. Possibly smiling to myself the second time around because this time I would know exactly who he preferred.

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
I would like to deeply thank my family and friends who have helped me make my dreams come true. My mom and my rock, Becky Spence, who has always been my biggest fan. Thank you for never giving up on me. Its been a long road but I have always felt safe with you by my side. My dad, Alvan Spiegel, for your enthusiasm, encouragement, and instilling in me the inventive gene. My sister and sidekick, Megan Summers. You will always be more than just my older sister, you are my hero. My sister Erin who has always had my back. We are kindred spirits even though we are miles apart. My nephew, Charlie McCarthy, whose witty sense of humor has played a part in all of my stories. My foot warmer and secret keeper, Sharif. My Skippy Jon Jones, for eating all of my rough drafts and pens. I want to thank all my friends Bethany Phelps, Leslie Carpenter, Jen Cameron, Kim Cotter, and Anna Cotter for proof reading my stories and encouraging me along the way. Plus a huge thank you to Pauline Nolet for being a wonderful editor! I look forward to working with you again.

Come check out another one of Leah Spiegels books.

SOUTH HILLS SIDEKICKS: UNINVITED Chapter One

It was an unusually bright day for the end of August in the South Hills area just outside of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. Soon it would be grey and overcast until May of next year. It was one of the most overcast cities in the United States, and it should be depressing, but I actually found the constant greyness comforting. What I couldnt handle was the truly depressing fact that it was the first week of high school at Upper East High. I didnt know why I was sighing up a storm as I drummed my fingers along the steering wheel in the middle of bumper to bumper morning rush hour traffic on Route 19. I mean its not like I was scared to go to school. I wasnt a victim who got bullied every day, or the shy loner who had to sit alone at lunch. In fact, I think some of my classmates would have loved to switch places with me because I hung out with them. The most popular, beautiful, richest students the school had to offer. Only problem was, I didnt belong with them. I blamed my best friend Val. Who knew that when I became friends with her in third grade over NSYNC I

I blamed my best friend Val. Who knew that when I became friends with her in third grade over NSYNC I would find myself surrounded by people wearing daily outfits that cost more than my entire wardrobe? It was just one of the downsides of having a best friend who outshined most of the student body. Finally, there was a break in the traffic, and I was pulled out of my dismal thoughts when the school came into view. The central, three story high windows of the building reminded me of Seattle Grace Hospital from Greys Anatomy which was fitting considering all the surgeons children went to school there. I wasnt wealthy like them. My dad didnt make an insane amount of money, but our house was located just inside the school districts line or else I might have been fortunate enough to go to Mount Lebanon (a much more laid back school in my opinion). I just didnt look like a girl from Upper East High, maybe if I were a model or at least tried to be wafer thin then I could blend in, but I was considered cute at best. I had brown, layered hair; blue eyes with specks of gray; when I smiled I had a right dimple. That might sound pretty, but at 52, its just cute. Refocusing on the parking lot around me, I jerked my second hand, green Jeep Wrangler, which my dad had recently bought for me as long as I could keep up on the insurance payments, into the first available spot right between all the BMWs, Lexuses and Volvos that filled the schools parking lot. Grabbing up my navy blue North Face book bag, I took a deep breath and exited the jeep. As a senior now, I had perfected the art of blocking out the deafening sound of the cars flying by on Route 19, which was practically in the schools front yard. So much so, I didnt notice the loud roar of an engine building in the background until it snuffed out even the sound of my flip flops against the pavement. Glancing over my shoulder not a second too soonI quickly backed out of the way when a guy on a chromed out Harley swung in front of me and parked in a space. Planting his feet on the asphalt, he pulled his helmet off, revealing cropped, sandy brown hair and dark, brooding eyes which he used to glare over his shoulder at me. Not look where youre going much? I grumbled under my breath when I realized he had no intention of apologizing. With a roll of my eyes, I just shrugged it off and continued toward the school. Glancing through the glass doors of the entrance ahead, I could see Kayla and Libby waiting and felt the dread of a new year sink back into place. The schools library filled the backdrop behind them as they greeted some of my classmates coming through the front entrance. Both girls had a silver tray holding intricate cupcakes made to look like pink, blooming roses. Alley. Kayla smiled, as I made my way through the crowd, and offered me a cupcake. Youre invited to Kirstens Sweet Eighteen. Kirsten Moyer was the most self-proclaimed popular girl of our school. I had heard a rumor that she was having a Sweet Eighteen party but I thought they were joking. Thanks. I nodded and took one out of politeness. Looking at the cupcake to avoid conversation, I noticed a black rubber bracelet was wrapped around the base of it, like the yellow ones made famous for raising cancer awareness, but this bracelet was embossed with Kirstens name instead. I knew the charity bracelet was for the party, an access pass to the event. Girls, look whos back! My mood instantly lifted as I heard my best friend announce her entrance. The sight of Val was the first thing to make me crack a smile all morning. I knew jealous girls liked to use dumb blonde jokes when referring to her, but Vals enthusiasm was just what I needed to bring me out of my bleak thoughts. The guys liked to call her The Amazon because she was 510, had layered, honey blonde hair, and the body of a Sports Illustrated Model. Wearing a strapless pink mini, she scuttled forward in her matching platform Christian Louboutins, with her arms opened wide, but quickly lost her footing and came reeling forward at us like a customer diving into a sale at Barneys on Black Friday. Kayla quickly cleared out of the way in a protective stance over the tray of desserts but Libby, who was closer to the wall, didnt have time to react as Val collided into me creating a domino effect. After being rammed into Libby, we all ended up on the ground with cupcakes falling everywhere, including on us. Lord have Mercy, Kayla said from overtop of the crash site. Kirstens gonna flip. I did a quick inventory on the state of my t-shirt and jeans and realized they were now splattered in pink frosting like the Jackson Pollock painting. All three of us were covered in icing but Val was wearing pink so you could barely tell. The fact that she made it through practically unscathed made me laugh. Way to make an entrance, Val. I snorted. Im glad one of us thinks this is funny, Libby grumbled as she sat up and shook her arms which were caked in icing. What the heck, Val? If you dont know how to wear them, you can always just give them to me. Val, who was not known for being the most coordinated person, got her footing and stood back up again. You

Val, who was not known for being the most coordinated person, got her footing and stood back up again. You saw me coming from like a mile away, she said, as if that explained everything. Why cant you be more like Kayla here? Yeah, right. Libby huffed as she got up. I cant believe Im going to be seen like this on the first day of school. Trying not to roll my eyes, I swear I heard a click as I turned and caught a few of the uninvited taking a pic or two on their cell phones further down the hallway which would have been funny if I wasnt in the middle of the crash site. It is what it is. I refocused on the mess and wiped half of a cupcake off the side of my jeans. You know she didnt mean it. Easy for you to say. Libby huffed. This dress actually cost a lot of money. Yeah, probably enough to pay my car insurance for the next three years, but its not exactly something I would go around boasting about because it was ridiculous. What a waste of money. Looking down at the mess, I held up my hand and asked, Could someone please help me up? A strong, firm hand wrapped around mine, and before I could even register what was happening, I was gingerly lifted up onto my feet. Looking up in surprise, I realized it was the guy from the parking lot. At second glance, he looked taller and more ripped now that he wasnt sitting on his massive motorcycle. His fitted, black leather jacket hung comfortably over his wide shoulders, and there was a hint of amusement in his once brooding brown eyes. Make a habit out of not watching where youre going, much? he muttered. My mouth just dropped and I realized how this must have looked with me on the ground and the other two standing, but before I could even explain, the guy turned and headed in the direction of the office. Who is he? Kayla asked me in a hushed voice, mistakenly thinking I knew the guy, as we all watched him drift further down the hallway. Who cares. I narrowed my eyes, remembering it was him who almost ran me over with his Harley. Hes yummy, Val said. Hes something, I added and noticed the time. Were going to be late for our first mod if we dont hurry. Thankfully, it was the first day and I didnt need to get to my locker or we would have never made it to chemistry on time. All four of us walked down the hall getting ready to go in opposite directions. Oh, I forgot to tell you, Val, Kayla said. Kirsten wants us all to go shopping after school to help her pick out the perfect dress, you interested? Yeah, Im in, Alley? Val, who was always one to include me, turned to see what I thought. Id rather gouge my eyes out than watch Kirsten try on dress after dress. But not being able to think of a quick enough excuse for why I couldnt go, I mumbled, Sure. Were meeting up at Posh after school, Kayla explained then headed left with Libby down the hall. See you guys there. Bye. Val looped her arm through mine and we headed down the hallway to the right for our first mod. She waved to people as we made it past the last few doorways. Despite her quirkiness, people tended to gravitate toward Val, unlike myself. Trying to be a good sport, I smiled a few times with her; enough that it literally hurt. Alley and Valerie, a familiar voice sang when we entered the room to our chemistry class. It was a typical chemistry lab with charcoal colored tables split down the middle with two rows of three. Each table was equipped with two Bunsen burners, a try of cylinders, four stools that faced the board, and a periodic table. Around the room were floor to ceiling glass cupboards that held various items we would use this year. Leaning against a lab table in the front of the class was the owner of that familiar voice, Trent Ledford. What happened to your clothes? His hazel eyes twinkled as he casually looked us up and down. Trent was known as being the biggest flirt in school. His charming face, Greek godlike physique from playing soccer year round, and wicked grin didnt help to dispute the theory. Havent you heard this is the new fashion craze? I jokingly rolled my eyes. As enthralling as the latest trends are, Ms. Mitchel, I still have a class to teach. Mrs. Cotter appeared from the back. Everyones already been paired with a partner, except for our new student, Shane, who just registered today, so you two can join him in the back. Following her gaze, my heart suddenly fell. Really, God? Going shopping with Kayla, Libby, and Kirsten wasnt bad enough? Guess not, because there, looking like a professional wrestler with his massive shoulders and upper body hugged tightly in a gray t-shirt, was the biker guy. I didnt know if he was even paying attention to what the teacher had to say as our eyes locked in a penetrating glare; he seemed unable to hear the chattering and gawking going on around him.

Val gently tugged me along, bringing me out of my thoughts. In typical Val fashion, she smiled and said hello to a few of her friends on the way down the aisle before we finally took the only available seats on either side of the new guy. He sat confidently with his black leather jacket draped over the back of his chair. I was just about to bury the hatchet and introduce myself, when his eyes dropped to Vals pink, glittery Christian Louboutins and he muttered, Nice shoes. I know, arent they fabulous? Val marveled at them. I was just about to explain to her what he really meant when he snickered. Yeah, Dorothy called, she wants them back. Now Val might be overly enthusiastic, but I loved her for it, so I wasnt going to let some stuck up jock put her down. I opened my mouth to ask him what kind of self-respecting, straight guy notices shoes anyway, but Val beat me to a response. Well, you tell Dorothy that if she wants them back, shes going to have to pry them out of my cold, dead hands. His face pinched at the unexpectedness of her comment, but instead of encouraging her, he just blinked and then shook his head. Val clicked her heels together three times and said, Theres no place like Prada, theres no place like Prada. I sunk down just a fraction on my stool, but thankfully, our conversation was interrupted because Mrs. Cotter began to instruct the class on how to use our lab equipment properly. Remember, never use a clear liquid to put out a fire and be advised that we have a fire extinguisher in the back of the room. Now, I would like for you to start out by practicing lighting your burners. Ladies first. Shane offered up the pack of matches in his gigantic hand, bringing my attention back to our lab partner. Oh, goodie, Ill go first. Val grabbed up the matches before I could stop her. I dont think thats such a good idea, I said hesitantly. Val wasnt exactly good with anything that came with safety instructions. Before I could stop her, she struck a match and quickly flung the dud onto the table. Shane eyed me warily when she actually lit the next match but once again flung it on the table. Quickly snuffing out the flame with his thumb, he snatched the packet of matches from Vals hand. Here, take these before she burns down the school. He tossed them over to me and then paused as if pondering whether or not I could light a match. He then raised his eyebrows in sarcastic relief when I lit the burner in seconds. Those things light up really fast! Val gulped. He leaned over causing the side of his warm body to press against mine. I got a whiff of spearmint on his breath before he lowered his voice and asked, Is shespecial? No. I glared back at him. Shes just a little prone to accidents. Okay, more like the class klutz, but I didnt like what he was implying about my best friend. Glancing down at my crusty t-shirt and jeans, it finally seemed to dawn on him what had really happened earlier. Waithow did you end up on the ground then? His eyes lit up with the memory. I tried to catch her, I answered dignifiedly since he seemed to be enjoying the little incident way too much. And how did that work out for you? He grinned. Not how I had anticipated, obviously. I can hear you, Val sang. You two are quickly becoming the most ridiculous girls I have ever meant. He cracked a smile. Its only first period. I sighed. Give it a couple of classes

Photo 2011 Kim Cotter

L e a h S p i e g e l, a graduate of Edinboro University, spent her first twenty years drawing imaginary worlds and now she writes about them. She is a native of Washington, Pennsylvania but has lived in North Carolina for the last five years. Check out her upcoming books on her website: www.leahspiegel.com. You can also find her on Twitter and Facebook.