Incorrect / Not so good explanation

1. They were looking the people. 2. looking at an interesting object. 3. playing a strange music instrument. 4. because they was happy. 5. Suddenly, we saw a man stolen 6. The robber was ran away. 7. We sent the robber to police. 8. After finish shopping there 9. He was playing a music 10. a pickpocket who tried to stole 11.They shocked and shouted 12. chase the man that tried to 13. and fell to a ditch. 14.First stop that they went to was 15.I was told a man beside me about 16. stole wallet from a man. 17. was tied while wait for the police. 18.We were scouraging for books

Correct /Better

Error

They were looking at the people. looking at something interesting. playing a strange musical instrument. because they were happy. Suddenly, we saw a man stealing The robber was running / ran away. We sent the robber to the police. After finished shopping there He was playing music a pickpocket who tried to steal They were shocked and shouted chase the man who tried to and fell into a ditch. The first stop that they went to was I was telling / told a man beside me about stole a wallet from a man. was tied while waiting for the police. We were scouring for books

missing preposition (at)

- choice of word / vocabulary - Noun (music) vs. Adjective (musical) - SVA (was vs. were) (saw) + -ing form (stealing) Past Continuous Tense : Verb to be (am/is/are/was/were) + -ing form (running) - Article (a/an/the) - Tense (past) - abstract noun (music) - to infinitive - Missing auxiliary verb (am/is/are/was/were) - Word choice (that vs. who) - Preposition (to vs. into) - Article (a/an/the) Past Continuous Tense : Verb to be (am/is/are/was/were) + -ing form (telling) - Article (a/an/the) - (while) + -ing form - Vocabulary

3 Arif 2011

(Narrative Essay Writing)

19. filled with so many book 20.Yesterday, we went _________________________ ________ books are cheaper ___________________

filled with so many books Yesterday, we went _________________________ ________ books were cheaper ___________________

- Plural noun - Mixing of tenses in the same essay - Use only ONE type of tense!

Incorrect / Not so good explanation

21. trying to take the wallet in the pocket 22. the man that stood there 23. one of the visitor. 24. many people seeing a man 25.The man was took 26.He ran fast to caught the thief. 27.The first stop we went to was bookstore. 28.While they looked at the performance 29.We saw him tried to steal 30. to steal someone wallet 31. following the music that played by then man. 32. the man who standing there 33.We shouted to the visitors 34.He thanked to us

Correct /Better
trying to take the wallet from the pocket the man who stood there one of the visitors. many people looking at a man The man was taking He ran fast to catch the thief. The first stop we went to was a / the bookstore. While they were looking at the performance We saw him trying to steal to steal someones wallet following the music that was played by then man. the man who was standing there We shouted to the spectators He thanked us

Error
- Preposition (in vs. from) - Word choice (that vs. who) - Plural noun - Choice of word | preposition (at) Past Continuous Tense : Verb to be (am/is/are/was/were) + -ing form (taking) - to infinitive - Article (a/an/the) - (while) + (am/is/are/was/were) + ing form - Past verb (saw) + -ing form (trying) - Possessive pronoun (-s) - Passive : (was) + -ed form (played) - Past Continuous Tense : Verb to be (am/is/are/was/were) + -ing form - Word choice (visitor vs. spectator) - Unnecessary preposition (to)

3 Arif 2011

(Narrative Essay Writing)

35.We were happy because we can saw a strange 36.We frightened but shouted anyway. 37.I wondered what they doing. 38.There were scores of people at there. 39.We ran to the place where people gathered. (OK) 40.We very shocked

We were happy because we can see a strange We were frightened but shouted anyway. I wondered what they were doing. There were scores of people there / at the place We ran to the place where people were gathering. We were very shocked

- Modal verb (can) + root verb (see) - (am/is/are/was/were) + Adjective - Missing auxiliary verb (were) - unnecessary preposition (at) - Past Continuous Tense : Verb to be (am/is/are/was/were) + -ing form - Missing auxiliary verb (were

Incorrect / Not so good explanation

41.We were shock when we saw 42.In us mind we thought he wanted to 43.The thief was catched. 44.They brought the thief at the police station. 45.We went shopping to buy things to school. 46.I bought book and he bought pen. 47.He was come from Nigeria. 48.We saw the man stole a purse 49.Last week, we went to shopping mall. 50.We called the security that was walking nearby. 51.The police came to the incident. 52.The police was caught the thief. 53.The robber was catching by the police. 3 Arif 2011

Correct /Better
We were shocked when we saw In our mind we thought he wanted to The thief was caught. They brought the thief to the police station. We went shopping to buy things for school. I bought a book and he bought some pens. He came from Nigeria. We saw the man stealing a purse Last week, we went to the shopping mall. We called the security who was walking nearby. The police came to the place of incident. The police was catching the thief. The robber was caught by the police. (Narrative Essay Writing)

Error
- Verb (shock) vs. Adjective (shocked) - Pronoun (us vs. our) - Past tense form - preposition (at vs. to) - preposition (to vs. for) - Determiners (a,some) - Simple past tense - (saw) + -ing form (stealing) - Missing article (a/an/the) - Word choice (that vs. who) - Missing words - Active : (was) + -ing form (catching) - Passive : (was) + -ed form (caught)

54.The robber was panic and he ran. 55.At the shopping mall has many people 56.He wanted to buy comics for his brother. 57.While we walked around, 58.We so surprised to see 59. trying to steal the man wallet. 60.There was a discount at the shop.

The robber was panicked and he ran. At the shopping mall there were many people He wanted to buy comic books for his brother. While we were walking around, We were so surprised to see trying to steal the mans wallet. There was a discount for books at the shop. There was a sale at the shop.

- (was) + Adjective (panicked) - Choice of words - Noun - (while) + -ing form (walking) - (were) + Adjective (surprised) - Possessive pronoun - Vocab (wrong meaning)

3 Arif 2011

(Narrative Essay Writing)