My Birthday in Our Village in Thailand I have lived in Thailand since I was 50 years of age.

Today I am 8 and I have li ved for seven of those eight years in my wife's small, rural rice-farming villag e in north-eastern Thailand. Not in Isaan, which many people call the north-east , as most of Isaan is south-east of us. It is a very quiet village, very traditional, although most parents would probab ly tell you different. I am a step-father here and have never been a father else where, so I cannot speak on that subject with any authority. My wife has a son of 26 years, who is married and working in Bangkok and a daugh ter of 18, who has just started university in Bangkok too. The villages are empt ying as kids want more of life than the back-breaking work of a rice-farmer. Not only that though, many farms are becoming more mechanised and some of the ol d jobs are just not there any more. I do not know which came first: mechanisatio n or desertion by the youth. Chicken or the egg? Anyway, today is my birthday and I have asked my wife not to give me a party, as she has done every year since I first met her. I am no longer a party animal. I have become a party-pooper. I don't worry about getting older, it is not that, it is just that I have never liked being the centre of attention and I feel that now, at my age, I can finall y get my wish. However, I have just been informed that there will be a party because "it would be disrespectful to you not to have one". Apparently, people need the opportunit y to show their regard for me. My wife has never put it like that to me before and it is tempting to think that it is a ploy to get her own way. however, I know her better than that. My wife is not a liar, but she is very traditional and there is no way on God's Earth t hat see will let my name be thought badly of. To her, if that means giving a party against my wishes, then there will be a par ty, because her/our social standing within our community means everything to her . She protects my/our status because don't. I don't care about it and, being ab road, don't know how to anyway except by being myself. Some will say that by upholding my status, she is protecting her own and I imagi ne that that is true, but I also think that that is being unfair to her. The fact of the matter is that if you live in a culture that is not your own, yo u ought to, you should, abide by the local customs. It is just not good enough t o say: "I don't do things that way. It is just not me". People, the locals, will not understand why you don't do the same as you. Yu are the traveller, not them. They will not understand why you came to live amongst them if you want to live a radically different life. And you can't expect them too either. <a href="http://behind-the-smile.org/wordpress/">Behind The Smile</a> : ISBN: 97 8-1-475-21688-2 : Published by CreateSpace 19-4-2012 : <a href="http://www.amazo n.com/Behind-Smile-Bargirl-Pattaya-Thailand/dp/1475216882">Paperback and eBook</ a>.