Culture Journal [VOLUME I ISSUE II]

Mourning in Infancy and Childhood Agathi Argyriadi1, Alex Argyriadis2

1. Agathi Argyriadi: Psychologist PhD(c), Lecturer 2. Alex Argyriadis: Phd, Phd (c), Lecturer

Introduction This paper addresses the issue of mourning, focusing on whether and how an infant is able to mourn. Through dialogue between Bowlby, A. Freud, R. Spitz and M. Klein, conflicting views on this issue come to the surface. Moreover, there is described the emotional states experienced by the child after the loss of a parent object in particular, the similarities and differences in feelings and behavior to adult children, and presents views on how a child can understand the meaning of death. Finally, it examines the main features of pathological grief and some ways in which it can support the environment and the remaining relatives of a child who mourns. The concept of mourning The concept of mourning is used to denote the psychological processes that occur primarily from the loss of a beloved object - person, leading to 'removal' from it (Bowlby, 1960, p.2). For Freud, The grief is "the reaction to the loss of a loved one with whom we maintain an emotional bond (libidinal object) or an abstract idea to replace it," ie ideal home. (Freud 1917, in Vacque, 2001). This is a complex of mental process. It contains the reaction to loss, the processes of grief and pain, relaxation of links with the lost object and the gradual compare with new objects. To these processes that occur, ego must be relatively well organized (Maratou, 2011). It is also argued that the image of mourning is similar to the symptoms of depression, such as the painful mental state for the mourners, loss of interest in anything made in the external world and inability to replace the person for whom mourning occurs, but nevertheless both statements should be separated. (Freud, 1917).
Culture Journal | Mourning in Infancy and Childhood 1

Culture Journal [VOLUME I ISSUE II]

Child's emotional state When the libido is withdrawn by the lost object, until you reconnect with another new, there can be seen either (a) investment and reinvestment in the body and then there may be physical disorders such as anorexia or hypochondria occupations, or (b) over-investment image of himself trends with omnipotence and grandiosity as narcissistic imbalance. (Maratou, 2011). Even at the level of the child's behavior in real or psychic loss, especially of a lovely object, it is observed sadness, despair, anxiety and protest. Klein and Bowlby tend to equate these emotional situations with grief and depression.

Theories about the ability of a small child to mourn On the issue of whether one of very young age is capable to mourn, in the past there was a dispute between John Bowlby, Anna Freud, and Ren Spitz. Research scholars (Robertson, 1953b, Heinicke, 1956), clearly show that very young children express their grief openly, at least for a few weeks, crying or otherwise while others, such as Freud and Spitz disagreed with the view that infants and toddlers mourn. They also exclude the hypothesis that the development of neurotic or psychotic character is sometimes a result of mourning in childhood and it takes medical direction. More specifically, below the average loss is Bowlby's separation. Children - even those who do not speak - mourn the same way as adults and with the same sequence of reactions, in the most immature form, such as increased mobility or behavioral disorders. These responses affirm the child's ability to mourn and to pity. In addition, grief at the age between 6 months and 4 years of pathognomonic character because the processes of mourning have adversed effects on personality development. (Bowlby, 1960). For Bowlby, at the age of six months, the child reacts to separation from his mother with a series of reactions dominated by protest (Protest), disorganization / despair (Despair) and release (Detachment). Bowlby initially paralleled those reactions with the respective phases of mourning. The phase of Protest (Protest) is characterized
Culture Journal | Mourning in Infancy and Childhood 2

Culture Journal [VOLUME I ISSUE II]

by the urgent desire of recovering the lost object at a period of months or years. When a healthy child, from the age of 6 months, away from his mother, initially reacts by crying and insists on looking. He also interprets various environmental factors, as indications of his mother's return. Moreover, there may be a crisis that bursts in tears, deeply concerned and produce insomnia. The child also expresses anger because of abandonment and loneliness it feels after the loss. The child is, or actually fighting or thinking to reacquire the lost person who blames neglect. Anger is an integral part of the response, even when turned to the lost person and work, including to prevent a new abandonment. Anger is a basic requirement to follow a healthy grieving process. Finally, during the phase of the protest, the child may reject other persons offering care to accept or selectively. (Bowlby, 1995, Strati). A typical example was a girl of 17 months who had been separated from her mother, who consented to her arms to a nurse, but always having her back turned to her. (Freud & Burlingham, 1944). The protest and anger claim back the charges against the lost person to leave a reaction to the loss of parts, that is, automatic reactions, inherent in the body. (Bowlby, 1995, Strati). In the phase of disorganization, the child becomes quieter, but a trained eye can see that the absence of mother continues to employ and waiting her return. In this and the previous phase, the feelings are ambivalent. If the first two phases have evolved sufficiently slowly hopes the child off and moves to the stage of despair. The third phase complets the work of mourning. During this phase, therefore the relinquishment of Reorganization (Detachment), new standards of conduct adapted to the new objects have now been developed. The child shows that abandons all hope of reunion with the lost person and fit to existing data. (Bowlby, 1960). Nobody goes in the same way or pace these phases (Bowlby & Parkes, 1970). The theory of Spitz Spitz, in his research in orphanages showed that a child may have feelings of sadness and live a depressing experience accompanied by a marked psychomotor retardation, when is separated from his mother. Spitz also, turned his attention to psychosomatic manifestations of depression in early life and described the phenomenon of partial deprivation and depression as retractive of a complete deprivation as institutionalization. The clinical picture, as described by Spitz, in
Culture Journal | Mourning in Infancy and Childhood 3

Culture Journal [VOLUME I ISSUE II]

infants 6-8 months separated from their mothers for at least 3 months, initially included crying, withdrawal, refusal to participate in any activity, weight loss, increased susceptibility to colds . Moreover, delay in development, delayed reaction to adjustment and slow movement. After 3 months the children deprived had a straight face, difficulty in reaching out and burst into screams. The physical condition deteriorated (anorexia, weight loss, increased susceptibility to infections), and psychomotor development pace is considerably slowed. (Spitz, 1945, Spitz, Wolf, 1946). If you find a surrogate mother between 3rd - 5th month of separation, the picture of depression, gradually disappears. Otherwise, it evolves into a state of physical and psychological decline, institutionalization, the full emotional deprivation. The institutionalization refers to a serious set of regressions of growth, such as regression in psychomotor and emotional development, depressive states, increased susceptibility to infectious diseases, that is a whole range of medical conditions, while in fact these children are in excellent health conditions and nutrition and logistics of the institution are appropriate. The institutionalization leads to diversions and delays in the development of personality. (Spitz, 1945). Bowlby, criticizing, Spitz claims that he rejects the clinical phenomena observed and the processes of mourning as well as that the conditions for expression of adjustment depression are unclear and not sufficiently linked to the observations of theory. (Bowlby, 1960). The theory of Spitz, is more consistent with Freud's theory of melancholy. The theory of Anna Freud. The controversy over whether an infant is able to mourn, Anna Freud, contrary to Bowlby, arguing that the child has the same potential perception of reality with the child, so she prefers to talk about reactions to loss and not for mourning. He argues that 6 months of a baby life is a very short time to develop the child's ability to mourn. Mourning is limited to a transitional period of the loss, until the acceptance of food and care by another person. (Bowlby, 1960). To enable a person to process bereavement, spirituality needs a sufficient organization that requires the operation of the principle of reality and some control of impulses of the ego. (Maratou, 2011). The child before the age of 2 years, it is able to perform the appropriate
Culture Journal | Mourning in Infancy and Childhood 4

Culture Journal [VOLUME I ISSUE II]

changes in the inner world through the control requirements of that. Thus, reactions to loss are governed by the pleasure principle, thus avoiding the pain. At the age of 2-3 years, a child who has conquered the sense of permanence of objects, can perceive the external event of loss. In very young children can someone observe regression to earlier stages and earliest forms of relationship with the new faces: eg attachment (clinging), dominance tendency, tendency to fight. It can also "lose" functions such as speech or walking. As for the aggressive tendencies, raw forms, such as biting or spitting and violence. Such events are observed after a major trauma, however, we can say that the loss of the libidinal object acts as a trauma for young children. (Maratou, 2011). Also, Anna Freud, opposes to the theory of Bowlby and the duration of mourning in the child of 1-2 years old, arguing that when a substitute is available, the mourning lasts 36-48 hours (Freud. A, Burlingham 1942, pp. . 52). The urgent needs require instant gratification. The small child, after a while, turns away from the mother's image in his mind, and is initially reluctant, to accept the care offered to him. It is unlikely for Schaffer & Callender (1959), even for children of 6 months to leave so quickly the image of their mother. The same supports and Bowlby, as well. Bearing in mind the work of Piaget (1937), he concludes that the development of the ego and the regulation of impulses, sensory and cognitive organization start from the first year of life. (Bowlby, 1960).

Understanding of the concept of death by the child On the issue of whether a child can understand the meaning of death, Bertoia & Allan (1988), argue that children under six years old, believe that death occurs in the elderly and may be reversible. Because of their egocentric thinking they consider themselves responsible. Children over six years express fear. Similarly, Black, 1994 states that children under 4 years old have not understood the meaning of death. Death is experienced as an absence of separation anxiety. (Black, 1994, Economacos, 2001). Like Bowlby and the Anna Freud, the Black emphasized the

Culture Journal | Mourning in Infancy and Childhood

Culture Journal [VOLUME I ISSUE II]

adverse effects that have experienced deprivation on the later development of personality, making the person vulnerable to depression and anxiety as an adult. Finally, Raimbault argues that death is understood as a definitive separation in 18 months-2 years. A prerequisite is the acquisition of speech and symbolization, the conquest of the distinction between the animate and the inanimate, the concept of time, past, future, and causal relations. The little boy, tries to dominate over the fear of missing persons in the environment. Even taking a symbolization through the game, of course, we must not overlook the personal rate of progression of the individual and his environment. (Raimbault, 1996) In fact, if an infant does not fully understand the meaning of death, however, is able to verify the absence and sensed the change, especially if he lost his mother.

Similarities and differences between adult and child in the way they experience loss As to whether the loss of the parent object in an infant has similarities to the depression of an adult, Spitz argued that the depression of the small child who loses a parent object has no similarities with depression compared to an adult because of the inadequate mental structure of the infant.

However, certain behaviors and feelings of children are similar to those in adults, such as crying, sadness, anger and guilt (Worden, 1996). Very often children embody stress during the mourning with headaches or stomachaches. Furthermore, feelings of anger are externalized to classmates, teachers or other persons. (Tsiantis, 2001, Worden, 1996). The process of gradual withdrawal of emotions from the person's lost love object in order to invest in new faces is more difficult for children. The process of mourning in childhood usually follows a path, which in older children and adults is considered abnormal. (Tsiantis, 2001).
Culture Journal | Mourning in Infancy and Childhood 6

Culture Journal [VOLUME I ISSUE II]

Pathological grief

For Segal (1994), it should be distinguished normal from abnormal grief. In the process of mourning the lost object can be kept alive and simultaneously the absence of the real world is recognised. In pathological mourning, however, there is failure of symbolic processes and the lost object is experienced as a physical presence, is that like someone carrying a corpse inside, and so do not place the process of mourning. (Segal, 1994, Economacos, 2001).

In pathological mourning there is an obvious lack of ability to openly express their wishes for recovery and blame the lost person, with all the longing and anger of abandonment. The child is also possessed of intense anxiety that can lead to fear of being lost and of the other parent or that would occur his death, but there may be a pathological hopeful reunion with the lost parent if you die and so expresses it as desire. Also troubling is the persistent feeling of guilt and self-blame that underlies the hyperactivity in child care over to others, a sense of euphoria, data identification with the lost parent, expressed through accidents. (Economacos, 2001).Finally, while the normal grief, the grief take over the other two stages, the stage of despair and disorganization, and these stages are followed by the reorganization and hope in pathological mourning, the child remains engrossed in thinking about the lost object, not only the organization of his life as if it were still recoverable, but continues to cry about it and often displays resentment and illness or anger towards his friends and himself, as a result of pathological grief, depression and other mental disorders. (Bowlby, 1960)

How a child is grieving

The child's grief is showed indirectly, in the game, the paintings as well as through changes in behavior (eg eating, sleeping), also, in occasionally crying. One moment it can be sad and a little later to scream with laughter and play casually.
Culture Journal | Mourning in Infancy and Childhood 7

Culture Journal [VOLUME I ISSUE II]

Infants and the infant express their pain in their own way. There are frequent sleep disturbances, irritability, changes in appetite, emotional separation from those around infants and excessive contact seeking or disregard. (Vacque, 2001).

Family, school environment and the child who mourns

To support a child who mourns, adults should avoid silence, create interpersonal contact with the child and develop a stable relationship with it. You must create the necessary space to allow the child to express feelings, to be able to process the experiences experiencing. It is also important the recognition of mental power and respect of child's reactions. It would be good, parents and teachers to keep a daily routine in the child, because it feels that it has the sense of control in one part of his life. Children are not forgotten. They need to remember their loved one and keep a lifelong mental link. (Papadatos, 1999).

REFERENCES acque M. F., (2007). . : Bowlby, J.(1960). Grief and Mourning in Infancy and Early Childhood.Psychoanalytic Study of the Child, 1960, 15: 9-52. Bowlby, J.(1960). Separation Anxiety. International Journal of PsychoAnalysis, 41:89-113. Bowlby, J. & Parkes, C. M. (1970). Separation and loss within the family. In E. J. Anthony (ed.), The Child in his family. New York: J. Wiley. Bowlby , J. (1995). . :

Culture Journal | Mourning in Infancy and Childhood

Culture Journal [VOLUME I ISSUE II]

Freud, A., & Burlingham, D. (1944). Infants Without Families New York: International Universities Press. Freud, S. (1917). Mourning and Melancholia. The Standard Edition of the Complete Psychological Works of Sigmund Freud, Volume XIV (1914-1916): On the History of the Psycho-Analytic Movement, Papers on Metapsychology and Other Works, 237-25 Klein, M. 1940 Mourning and Its Relation to Manic-Depressive States Contributions to Psycho-Analysis. 1921-1945 London: Hogarth Press, 1948 M, . (2011). . . , ., (2001), . . : . Raimbault, G. (1996). Lorsque l'enfant disparat. Paris: Editions O. Jacob Spitz, R.A. (1945).HospitalismAn Inquiry Into the Genesis of Psychiatric Conditions in Early Childhood. Psychoanalytic Study of the Child,1: 53-74. Spitz, R.A. (1945). HospitalismA Follow-Up Report on Investigation Described in Volume I. Psychoanalytic Study of the Child, 2: 113-117. Spitz, R.A.,Wolf, K.M (1946). Anaclitic DepressionAn Inquiry Into the Genesis of Psychiatric Conditions in Early Childhood, Ii. Psychoanalytic Study of the Child,, 2: 313342. , . (2001). , : Worden, J. W. (1996). Children and grief: When a parent dies. New York: Guilford.

Culture Journal | Mourning in Infancy and Childhood